Reviewing and Editing

- In the process of reviewing and editing, there are two alternatives, onwards and backwards. To move
onwards is a top-down process, the overall structure then word level. Besides, To proceed backwards is
the reverse order, from the word level to the overall structure.

Content Sentence Effectiveness Editing

Coherence and Support - Avoiding Run-Ons - Grammar
- The elements of the assignment. - Avoiding Fragments - Punctuation
- Responding to the reader’s - Variety - Spelling
questions/ considering how the - Emphasis - Capitalization
argument is built - Conciseness - Word choice ( formal style)
- APA Style, formatting, citing
and referencing

1. Content
1.1. The paper or text should include the elements to write the assignment. e.g. The background of the
study must include the context and topic.
1.2. Building the research argument/ responding to the writer’s
- An easily indentified claim
- Argument (implicit)+ support (sources)+ warrant ( generally deductive)
- Paying a closer attention to Grice’s maxims: quality, quantity, relevance and manner. Each of these
maxims can be also achieved through sentence effectiveness and editing.
- Shedding stereotypes, questioning authority, acknowledging complexities and avoiding
overgeneralizations ( judgemental language)

2. Sentence Effectiveness
2.1. Avoiding run-on sentences ( fused & comma—splice) Run-ons may occur when the writer is unable
to recognize where one complete thought ends and another thought begins. Run-ons also may occur if
the writer is not sure of the standard ways of connecting ideas. Certain marks of punctuation are needed
to show where two clauses join. Other punctuation signifies the end of a thought. Study the following
three types of run-ons.

The fused run-on: two or more independent clauses run together without any punctuation
Incorrect: I met Charlyce in a yoga class at the YWCA ᴓ we soon became friends.
The comma splice: two or more independent clauses run together with only a comma
Incorrect: I met Charlyce in a yoga class at the YWCA, we soon became friends.

2.2. Avoiding Fragments

1. A fragment could be a phrase:
I sat down. In the school bus. Howard, the school bully, came and sat down beside me.
NOTE: The prepositional phrase in the school bus is a fragment, not a sentence.
• three types of fragments:
one or more phrases, one or more dependent clauses, or a combination of phrases and dependent
clauses
2. A fragment could be a dependent clause:
As I sat down. Howard, the school bully, came and sat down beside me.
NOTE: The dependent clause as I sat down is a fragment, not a sentence.
 3. A fragment could be a combination of phrases and dependent clauses:
As I sat down in the school bus that was fi lled with screaming kids.
NOTE: As I sat down is a dependent clause; in the school bus is a prepositional
phrase; that was filled is a dependent clause; and with screaming kids is a prepositional phrase. A
combination of phrases and dependent clauses is not a sentence.

2.3. Variety

Adding variety to your writing keeps the reader interested; if you do not use sentence variety, your
paragraph or essay will dull and monotonous. There are several ways to create variety in your writing: Using
different sentence types, altering sentence length, altering sentence pattern and deploying different rhetorical
patterns.

1- Using different sentence types

e.g. The boy wanted to go outside. He wanted to eat pizza first → ( a compound declarative sentence with no
logical connection)

Creating variety l

- The boy wanted to go outside, but he had to eat his pizza first. → ( a compound sentence with contrast
relationship)
- Although the boy wanted to go outside, he had to eat his pizza first. → ( a complex sentence with
concession relationship)

2- Altering sentence length:

a- Varying short and long sentences using coordination and subordination

e.g. The boy’s mother called him for dinner. It was pizza. The boy was hungry. Pizza was his favorite meal; he
wanted to play outside with his friends.

A choppy style is common by using too many short sentences (chops). It is avoided via coordination and
subordination.

Revision of the previous example: The boy’s mother called him for dinner which was pizza, his favourite meal.
Although he was angry, he wanted to play outside with his friends.

b- Avoid the stringy style by: - subordinating or dividing a sentence into two short ones.

e.g. College admission standards continue to raise, and tension and anxiety are built to a ridiculous point in
college, and this spoils the students’ final year in high school. → As/ Because college admission standards,
continue to rise (1), tension and anxiety are built to a ridiculous point in college, spoiling the students’ final
year in high school. (2)
1* Subordination with a modifying clause
2* Subordination with a modifying phrase
3- Varying Sentence Pattern

e.g. The human brain, en enormously complex mechanism, contains about ten billion nerve cells.

a- Placing an appositive phrase before the subject: An enormously complex mechanism (Appositive phrase),
the human brain (subject), contains about ten billion nerve cells.

b- Placing a single word modifies before the subject: e.g. The book (subject) is (verb) long and badly written
(subject complement), and it (subject) failed (verb) to hold any interest. → Long (adj) and badly written (adj),
the book failed to hold any interest.

c- Placing a phrase modifier before the subject: e.g. He was almost unbeatable (subject complement) on the
tennis court ( prepo phrase/ adv). → On the tennis court, ( prepo phrase/ adv), he was almost unbeatable.

d- Placing a clause modifier before the subject: e.g. [Investigators of the cause of the crash had to depend on
the evidence found in the wreckage] [main clause] because there were no survivors or witnesses ( clause
modifier/ adv).

→ Because there were no survivors or witnesses, investigators of the cause of the crash had to depend on the
evidence found in the wreckage.

Modifiers

Phrase Single word Clause

4- Deploying different rhetorical patterns

There are three different rhetorical patterns

Periodic (Sub idea, Main idea) Loose (most common) Balanced (parallel structure)

a- Loose: a loose sentence puts the main idea before all supplementary information; in other words, it lets the
reader know what it is mainly about when he has read the first words.

b- Periodic: The reverse arrangement makes a periodic sentence; the main idea is expressed at the end of it, and
the sentence is not grammatically complete until the end is reached.

c- Balanced: When a sentence contains two or more parts of the same form and grammatical function.

e.g. She decided to study English though she was interested in music (loose sentence) → Although she was
interested in music, she decided to study English (periodic sentence)
e.g. You cannot make a great progress in English without good study habits. (loose) → Without good study
habits, you cannot make a great progress in English (periodic)

e.g. Let us be ruthless in our criticism, cruel to personal varieties and indifferent to age.
adj prepo phrase adj prepo phrase adj perpo phrase

- Grammatical pattern → simple imperative

- Rhetorical pattern → balanced

Conclusion

Good sentences are more than grammatically correct; they are varied in length, in word order and in their
rhetorical pattern. As your read essays, consider the sentence structure and as you write your own essays, apply
the techniques for attaining/ achieving variety.

Important

- Avoid putting long stretches of words before you introduce your subject.
- Avoid ending-up your statements with subordinate clauses. Instead, use
nominalization.
- Do not separate between the simple subject and the simple predicate. Avoid
complex subjects as much as you can.
- Avoid coordinating conjunctions as much as you can. If you have no choice, use
compound predicates.

2.4. Emphasis
When we talk, we emphasize an important idea by rAising our voices or making gestures. Simlilarly, effective
sentences highlight ideas, letting readers know which elements are more important; we may call this
spotlighting of important words or ideas: emphasis. You may gain emphasis through economy of language and
through subordination. You may also emphasize ideas by

1. Placing: the end and the beginning of the sentence usually attract the reader’s attention, so important
elements of the sentence should be put at this two places especially at the end.

e.g. Some foreign tourists say that Spain is more interesting than France in many ways. → Spain is more
interesting for some foreign tourists in many ways than France.

2. Changing loose into a periodic sentence: Loose sentence are easier, simple and more natural. Periodic
sentences are more complex, emphatic and literary (formal). However, the overuse of periodic sentences makes
your style unnatural. Thus, variety is desired.

3. Arranging the ideas in the order of climax: In enumerating things/ ideas, we should start from the least
important and end with most important. (climactic sequence)
e.g. His knowledge of people (1), his confident manner(2) and his friendliness (3) made him natural for the
position.→ His friendliness (least important), his confident manner and his knowledge of people (most
important) made him natural for the position.

e.g. Mr Johnson fears illness, death and poverty → Mr Johnson fears poverty, illness and death.

3. Using the active voice rather than the passive : The active voice is more emphatic, yet the passive voice can
be used when the the doer of the action is unknown and when the received of the action is more important than
the subject.

4. Repeating important words:

e.g. Her spoken English is good; her written English is also good . → more emphatic

Both her spoken and written English are good.

e.g. He was the first of his group to rush into the burning house to rescue the lady, and he was also the first

[Repetition as a rule should be avoided, but occasionally important words can be repeated for the sake of
emphasis]

5. Balanced Constructions

Love is positive [declarative], but consider the negative aspects of intolerance [imperative] → not balanced

Revision → Love is positive, but intolerance is negative [more emphatic]

6. Abruptly changing sentence length: Abruptly changing the sentence length is effective to gain emphasis.
Short sentences are often emphatic especially after longer ones.

e.g. The speaker asked the audience what they where the main problems the city government was facing, and
how these problems should or could be solved, and he eagerly waited for the answers. No answer came.

Important

- In placing and arranging words in a climactic order, consider more the least
familiar to the most familiar items to the reader.
- Putting much emphasis on actions (verbs ) in the sentence helps avoiding the
passive voice and attributing verbs to their respective subjects.

2.5. Conciseness
- Avoid Empty Openers/ Superfluous Words. “In my opinion, …” “I think that …” “ There is…” “ It is …”

- Avoid Circumlocutions/ Wordy Expressions

Wordy or worn out Concise

at the end of the day eventually (or finally)
at this moment in time now
at this point in time now
due to the fact that because
for the purpose of for
have the ability to can
in the event that in case (or when)
in the neighbourhood of about (or near)
it is conceivable that possibly (or perhaps)
it is possible that there could be possibly (or perhaps)
last but not least last
made an effort tried
modern people of today people
slowly but surely slowly

- Avoid Redundant Pairs

added additions advance forward blue in colour a free gift a dead corpse downstairs basement
downward reduction everyday frequent occurrences
few in number a footnote at the bottom of the page former antecedents
full satisfaction future potential future prospects handled pressure under stress
illegal crime increase upwards large in size look back in retrospect many in number
modern people of today old antiques a paid professional past history perfectly utopian
a personal friend pregnant mothers-to-be reduce down reverse back
round in shape small in size a smile on the face a temporary makeshift
true facts two twins upstairs attic a vacant gap a vendetta of revenge verbal dialogue
- Avoid odd repetition. Use references.
- Conciseness through Reductions:
- Clauses Reduced to Phrases:
e.g. We decided that we would get an early start → We decided to get an early start.
e.g. After you have graduated, you will be looking for a job. → After graduation, you will be looking
for a job.
- Clauses and Phrases Reduced to Single Words:
e.g. The troops who had been captured were sent to prison. → The captured troops were sent to prison.
e.g. She greeted everyone in a cordial manner. → She greeted everyone cordially.

Important

The use of phrases and single words over subordinate clauses (especially by the end of
the sentence) is highly recommended
 3. Editing
- Editing encompasses grammar, punctuation, spelling, diction, capitalization and style (APA 7th edition
citing, referencing and formatting).

- At the levels of spelling and word choice, the deployment of British or American graphemes must be
consistent.

- Be careful with the use of “the latter” or “the former”

- Never finish your sentence with a preposition.

- Consult the list of academic words. Consider simplicity, clarity and accuracy. Avoid clichés

Some of the ‘prefabricated’ expressions listed above resemble clichés. Unlike those wordy and outworn
phrases, clichés are words that may have had some original sparkle to them, but which are now tiresome. Some
clichés have a proverbial air about them and were perhaps originally based on long observation of events.
Others are buzzwords that have replaced the effort to explain a situation or relationship in language that is
fresh. A cliché is a lazy way out of thinking for oneself. Here are some clichéd expressions that can be omitted
from formal writing assignments.

above and beyond all things being equal at the end of the day beauty is in the eye of the beholder
beauty is only skin deep came to grief day in, day out emotional roller coaster ride
far reaching implications high on the agenda jumped on the bandwagon obvious to anyone who thinks
obvious if you think about it no pain, no gain on a level playing field past its use-by date
seized the bull by the horns winning combination with the benefit of hindsight you get what you pay for
in today’s society

- Hedges and Intensifiers

Hedging word Intensifying

Appear, assume, imply, seem, Verb Argue, assert,, contend, insist
suggest, tend to
Can, could, may , might Model Verbs Do, have to, must, will , would
About, approximate, few, many, Adjectives Absolute, all, clear, complete,
most, often, partial, possible, rare, definite, dramatic, entire, essential,
relative, some high, important, most, obvious,
quite, sharp, significant, specific,
strong
Approximately, partially, perhaps, Adverbs Absolutely, always, certainly,
possibly, probably, rarely, clearly, definitely, essentially,
relatively, usually, highly, laregely

- Consider firmly the selection of reporting verbs.

“ Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words” Mark Twain