Do you believe in Horoscopes?

Did you know that the Spirit animal of Pisces is a

Wolf? They said that they hold a great depth of feelings within. They are independent
people, who are just as comfortable being alone for large parts of their life as with
groups. And even if they spend a majority of their life finding themselves, they want to
settle down eventually. They can also be passionate and nurturing people. That they
are mostly the gentle creatures who show that side of themselves only to a select few.
Do you know one? I do.
Hi. Let me tell you something about myself. I am Kimberly Julian Cacho, twenty-
eight years old, a woman with a kind-hearted and patient boyfriend, a daughter of both a
professor and at the same time the of College in Fisheries at Ilocos Sur Polytechnic
State College and a Retired Philippine Navy, a sister of seventeen years old senior high
school, a faithful child of God, a Pisces and a dreamer.
I was born at the beautiful city of Zamboanga in Mindanao and how proud I could
be. Zamboanga City is a first class highly urbanized city in the Zamboanga Peninsula
region. One’s always confused how and why am I in Ilocos Sur? Let me share a little
history of my parent’s love story and how they met.
My mom was a working student at that time in Tawi-Tawi when my Papa, an
Iloko, was currently in schooling for his military application as a Navy. They were both
invited in a party where they initially met with their friends. At first, they didn’t have the
chance because as far as I could remember from my mom’s over and over story, it’s her
friend who has a crush on my dad. But when they frequently go out together with their
friends, my dad sooner realized that it was my mom who he really likes. He even got to
confess his feelings in front of my mama’s mom with courage going in to their house.
After that, my mom ditched his suitor who is a seaman and finally be with my dad. After
three months of love, they immediately got married.
It’s not a denial fact that my dad is good-looking and six-foot inches in height, but
it was him who got so lucky that he married a very intelligent, kind and loving woman.
Plot twist on their love story? Before they got married, my dad’s parents are in Hawaii,
United States of America and he is petitioned a year before. Getting married was a
challenge to him, why? First, he was not allowed to get married because his petition is
ongoing or else, he can’t go to the US and the petition will be void. Secondly, he was a
basketball player in the Army and once offered by the Philippine Basketball Association
to play and join one of the teams during their time. Lastly, he was in a competition with a
seaman of who could win my mom’s heart. With all the choices and circumstances, he
had to risk and married my mom. And that’s what I got from my parents, holding great
depth of feelings within and it felt rewarding.
More so, with so many people afraid to visit every city in Mindanao, this place is
the one I will always remain to love. Despite terrorist threats in the past, I would still love
to go back and visit because who wouldn’t love? With those affordable seafoods and
the famous pink coralline sand beach in Sta. Cruz Island, those giving and humble
Zamboanguenos, the culture I witnessed and experienced like the dances we would
always participate during my elementary days and the costumes we fit in every
competition we go, those healthy compelling fruits they have like the Marang, my
childhood favorite, Mangosteen, Durian, etc. All these things that as a kid you so much
enjoy that is impossible to forget.
I was raised a Chavacana, chavacano as a language, known as a “variety”
Spanish language, which I barely hear when I was younger and learned a few because
we talked Tagalog at home but the culture was inculcated. I don’t have many friends
when I was young, I only play outside when I am invited, I am frequently bullied with
guys, I was tagged as the saling-pusa in the group because I was the kid who had an
asthma when I was only one year old. My mama became overprotective of me ever
since I had them and I don’t blame her with all we’ve gone through and all her sacrifices
a mother to her child, that long sleepless nights and on and off at the hospital. This is
how I understood and learned how to be independent and comfortable being alone.
Then things inevitably changed when we moved in Ilocos Sur last 2005. I was
only 12 years old and was then a transferee student in San Antonio Narvacan
Elementary School as Grade six student. I had no one, even my mother was home
sicked for two years. Everything was different, from the language, the way they talk to
people, the food they eat¸ the places they go that will take you long way and hours to
travel to reach the city, the malls, and especially the Ilocanos that we never had an idea
about their culture and how they treat people. The adjustment became so hard for all of
us that my mom got so stressed because she’s taking care of a one-year-old child, she
can’t take any job for two years, and had troubles in their marriage. At that time, I was a
teenager then had my own troubles on my adolescent period too.
Until we stood back from the struggle, my mom landed a job at the University of
Northern Philippines as an Instructor of College of Arts and Sciences at that time, my
dad reconciliated with her, and the high school life we all have something to reminisce
about. Though I made new friends, I learned a lot of things from other people as I aged
and that independency within me made me who I am more today.
During my high school and college days, I was very obedient to my parents that
they even thought I am the black sheep among my two sisters so they never sent me to
other schools even I wished to. They were so afraid I might be a disgrace in the family.
At first, I cannot understand why, but as I get mature, my parents already knew me
before I knew myself then and I thank God for always guiding me through my prayers to
lead me to the right path always. I graduated first honorable mention when I was in high
school and in college at the right time.
Everything went in place except for myself. I had the struggle of finding myself
before and after I graduated in college. I was drowned by fame. I have so many friends
that I forget who I was or who I want to be. I never knew what I want to be in the future, I
always envy the lucky ones who knew it before entering college. Mid-twenties crisis
stroked me hard. I got a job at a bank with no goal. I got into a toxic relationship I never
had any idea how to do it or how to be in it. I was betrayed by an oldest friend. I can’t
distinguish an opportunity to not. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost for a long time.
Didn’t they believe that your father is your first love? Well initially, yes. But
sooner, when the pressure gets stronger and expectations get higher, eventually we fall.
I failed, may times. I was admitted at University of Northern Philippines as a college
student with the highest range of scores. Since I don’t know what to choose, I chose the
highest and most demanding course in school, the BS Accountancy program. But in the
middle of terms, I failed one subject during my third year in college and I was redirected
to BS Major in Management Accounting and my dad got devastated. He hated me so
much that he was so disappointed that I let him down and keeps on reminding me that
every day of my life. My life was questioned, everything was never enough. I was never
known as a human with failures.
Struggling with so many confusions in life, music never left me. I love music, and
fortunately it does love me too. I used to sing when I was only 7 years old where I was
one of the choirs in one of the small churches in our town. I was even taught how to
play the organ back then. I love singing, it keeps me calm, it keeps me confident, it
changes my mood, it’s something inside me that makes me whole. I even dreamt to be
a singer when I was a child because of the impression they are giving me every time I
sing. I continued when I joined a ministry during my college days as if they let me feel
that I am an instrument and voice to their prayers and this made me felt special. Music
makes me alive. It’s the only confidant I had when I was lost, it’s the only friend I trust.
The only blessing I know I had.
Even love was a foe. The peace of mind was compromised, and self-worth was
forgotten. This is the moment when you forget anything and give everything. You just
give because you thought it was your best, because you always thought that you accept
the love you think you deserve and as of this moment love was not blind, love blinded
you. Do we really have to get through this? It was the most tormenting part of your life
when you’re in the middle of finding yourself and then you met the love of your life just
to crush you more. But life just isn’t fair, who says it is anyway? We are bound to learn
the hard way and accept things that we are just humans who make mistakes or we will
never learn. Sometimes people who was hurt badly has the purest hearts for they
believe that every person has a soft part in their hearts and was just dominated by self-
ego but that soft spot will still prevail. And sadly, I was one of them.
Don’t have I the right to be happy? I mean really happy? Contented? Directed?
Motivated? All of these I keep asking myself or am I just one of the unlucky ones? I
isolated myself for a while, to meditate and to be enlightened. I filtered the people I am
surrounded with. I chose friends who are real, I started to redirect my visions in life, I
began to watch and read things to discover what interests me more, I started all over
again. I gave myself a chance to rebuild and know who really, I am and what I really
want to be. The wound is the place where the light enters you. It was never too late to
do better. I greeted a fresh start.
I learned from long time ago that the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.
Loving yourself means acknowledging when you have been wrong and accepting your
process. It was never easy but it was all worth it. Life can only be understood
backwards, but must be lived forwards. If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to
suffer. As long as we look for someone else to validate who we are by seeking their
approval, we are setting ourselves up to disaster. We have to be whole and complete in
ourselves. No one can give us that. We owe that to ourselves.
I started to focus on myself. I treated myself like I am the most important person
in the world. I spoiled myself with stuffs I deserve. I travel with the people I love. I eat
everything I want. I became happy with what I am giving to myself and to others. I
became contented and self-cared. I even started a small online business, I risk some of
my savings in investing to stock market, some gained, some lost. I tried forex trading
and somehow, I can say I’m slightly good at it. I began to dream big, want more. I saw
the real world. I hoped to be in a business world where most influential people and
billionaires were. I finally know what I want. I started to set goals.
Wanting more, it came to me that banking is not enough for me. I want to be
more than that. I want something I can be proud of, and that I wasn’t sure what is it at
that time. I explored more until I met a guy who has the same goals as mine. You’ll
never guess how did we met. It’s on online dating app called Bumble. What are the
odds, right? With the heartbreaks I were in the past, I never imagined that my true love
was in an online dating app and good thing he is originally just from Cabugao, Ilocos
Sur. Lucky or blessed you may call, but I believed that this time, the favor is on me.
He is a family-oriented man. I didn’t realize I could possibly find a man who is
kind, loving, and respectful like him. He is one of a kind I can surely say. Aside from he
is a licensed Mechanical Engineer, he is also a business minded person. He is currently
a Financial Advisor of one of the prestigious insurance companies in the Philippines.
Financial literate he is, he runs a fresh and beautiful restaurant business in their place
where I also invested some. It was like a dream I am living right now. I hope to be with
him for the rest of my life.
Moving forward, everything followed. It was like a full of water flowing peacefully
right next to me. The online business was good, that others even look at me like a big
threat as a competitor and others look at me as a strong link which is an advantage to
the company. I gained people whom I inspire and others hate. I guess the saying was
true that, if you make people angry, you’re doing a great job. And I guess, I can say to
myself that I am finally growing. I am finally free from expectations, criticisms, and
pressure. I might fall but no one can stop me from achieving the things I thought I would
never discover. I am finally me.
Never regret a day in your life, good days give happiness, bad days give
experience, worst days give lessons and best days give memories. As I grow old, I
learned that life is all about balance. You don’t always need to be getting stuff done.
Sometimes it’s perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary to shut down, kick back or do
nothing.
“If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.”
Growing and maturing is one thing, and I am just starting. I know deep down, with every
lesson I carry in me, I have grown far and I am proud of who I became today.
Everything has its own reasons and every part of it is important in our lives. And I am
here today dreaming of becoming one of the great lawyers of my country. I know it will
be hard, stressful, sacrificial and difficult but I am willing to take the risk and give my full
energy for this undying dream. I am a Pisces and I don’t give up easily. If I failed again, I
will try better again the next time. Don’t give up if things aren’t going right. Fight back,
stand still until I achieve those goals. But this is still, just me.