 Reflection on Illness:

 When we consider how common illness is and how it changes us

spiritually.
 Illness reveals unknown aspects of ourselves, like wastelands and
hidden landscapes in our souls.
 Even a slight illness like the flu can expose deep feelings and thoughts.
 Impact of Sickness:
 A rise in temperature or a minor illness can uncover hidden emotions
and challenges within us.
 Sickness can uproot our strong beliefs, like ancient trees being torn
from the ground.
 It's like going close to death, feeling annihilation's waters above us, and
even imagining encounters with angels.
 Comparison to Literature Themes:
 Given the profound impact of illness, it's surprising that it's not a major
theme in literature.
 Love, battles, and jealousy have taken prominent places, but not illness.
 One might expect novels about the flu, epic poems about typhoid, and
songs about toothaches.
 Exploring the Mind-Body Connection:
 Literature often focuses on the mind, treating the body like a clear
glass.
 Except for a few emotions, it mostly ignores the body's significance.
 Literature tends to say that the soul's concerns are more important
than the body's.
 Contrasting Beliefs:
 Literature claims it's concerned with the mind while treating the body
as insignificant.
 However, the reality is opposite – the body profoundly shapes our
experiences.
 The body isn't just transparent; it's an essential part of who we are.
 Shift of Focus:
 Instead of just considering emotions like desire and greed, literature
should acknowledge the body's role in our lives.
 Body's Constant Influence:
 The body actively interacts with us; it can dull or sharpen our
perceptions, affect our appearance, and react to temperature changes.
 Unlike a sheath or pod that can be separated, the soul and body are
intertwined; the body is essential to our experiences.
 The body undergoes a continuous cycle of changes: warmth and cold,
comfort and discomfort, hunger and satisfaction, health and illness.
 Neglect of the Body:
  People often write about the mind's activities, its thoughts, and grand
plans.
 They portray the mind as ignoring the body or using it for exploration
and conquest.
 The mind's inner struggles against fever or melancholia are overlooked,
mainly because it requires courage and robust philosophy to address.
 Reasons for Neglect:
 Looking at these struggles head-on demands strong courage and
philosophy deeply rooted in reality.
 Otherwise, we might veer into mysticism or transcendentalism to
escape from the body's pain.
 Public Perception:
 The public might criticize a novel about influenza, claiming it lacks an
engaging plot or love.
 However, that's not true since illness can take on the appearance of
love and bring unique experiences.
 Illness can invest certain faces with a divine quality, making us eagerly
anticipate subtle sounds or attribute deeper meaning to distant faces.
 The Mind's Reactions:
 In illness, the mind creates stories and fantasies about people,
especially absent ones, that it doesn't have time or freedom to
generate when healthy.
 Language's Limitations:
 One issue with writing about illness is the lack of suitable language.
 English is rich in expressing complex thoughts and tragedies, but it
lacks words for simple things like shivers and headaches.
 Language has developed mainly in one direction, leaving gaps.
 Contrast with Love and Suffering:
 A schoolgirl can find words from Shakespeare, Donne, or Keats to
express her feelings of love.
 However, when someone in pain tries to describe a headache to a
doctor, language fails them.
 They have to invent words themselves, merging their pain and sounds
like the builders of the Tower of Babel might have.
 Possibly Laughable Words:
 Creating new words to describe pain could be funny.
 People born into English culture usually treat the language with
reverence and caution.
 English is considered sacred and unchangeable.
 A Need for New Language and Emotions:
 We require not only new words but also a new understanding of
emotions.
  Love might need to take a backseat to a high fever, and jealousy might
give way to the pains of sciatica.
 Sleeplessness could be portrayed as a villain, while the hero becomes a
white liquid with a sweet taste.
 Potential for New Language and Expressions:
 We could benefit from a fresh language—simple, raw, passionate, even
crude.
 The hierarchy of emotions might change: pain and physical sensations
becoming more significant than traditional feelings.
 Perhaps a new language and hierarchy could emerge if the Americans,
who excel in creating new words, contribute their expertise
 Inadequate Description of Illness:
 When someone says, "I am in bed with influenza," it fails to capture the
profound experience.
 This statement doesn't convey how the world changes, business tools
become distant, festive sounds seem remote, and even friends
transform in perception.
 Shift in Perspective:
 The sick person's view of life alters drastically, like looking at a distant
shore from a ship at sea.
 Sometimes, they feel exalted and independent, while at other times,
they feel vulnerable and grateful for even small kindnesses.
 Difficulty in Sharing the Experience:
 The true experience can't be shared adequately through words.
 Trying to explain it often awakens memories in friends of their own
illnesses and discomforts.
 Yearning for Sympathy:
 People wish for sympathy, but often it's not forthcoming.
 The suffering person's pain triggers memories of others' past illnesses,
making them yearn for the relief of understanding.
 The Limits of Sympathy:
 Fate wisely dictates that we can't fully take on others' pain.
 If we burdened ourselves with everyone's suffering, the world would
come to a standstill.
 Music, art, and progress would fade away, leaving only horror and
despair.
 Balancing Compassion:
 While we can't fully share each other's pain, a balance must be
maintained.
 Experiencing empathy without becoming overwhelmed is essential for
the world to keep functioning.
 Distractions from Pain:
  Distractions exist even in painful situations.
 An organ grinder, shops, pets, or other amusements divert attention
from suffering.
 These distractions prevent us from fully acknowledging and addressing
others' pain.
 Effort of Sympathy:
 Sympathy requires a significant effort, especially for those experiencing
extreme pain and hardship.
 Hospitals and institutions symbolize suffering and discipline,
demanding our sympathy.
 However, this sympathy is often delayed or evaded due to distractions.
 Sources of Sympathy:
 Sympathy often comes from those who have time and freedom to
explore unusual pursuits.
 Laggards, failures, and unconventional women dispense sympathy.
 These individuals engage in imaginative acts to comfort others.
 Examples of Sympathetic Actions:
 C.L. creates imaginative scenes, merging practical and creative
elements.
 A.R. is generous and resourceful, obtaining unusual items to bring
comfort.
 K.T. brings her vibrant spirit to the sick room, using humor and mimicry.
 Challenges to Traditional Sympathies:
 While these sympathetic actions have value, they're considered
outdated.
 Modern civilization's progress shifts priorities away from these
distractions.
 For instance, electric lighting in cities becomes a symbol of progress,
overshadowing the importance of small comforts and amusements.
 Absence of Place for Tradition:
 There's no place left for old-fashioned things like the tortoise and the
theorbo.
 Modern progress overshadows these simple pleasures.
 Childish Honesty in Illness:
 Illness brings out honesty that's often hidden by health.
 When ill, people speak more candidly, revealing truths they might
otherwise hide.
 The Illusion of Sympathy:
 The idea that the world is perfectly connected, echoing every pain, is an
illusion.
 The notion that others have experienced what we have and understand
us completely is also false.
 People don't truly know even their own souls, let alone others'.
 Solitude in Our Experiences:
 Humans don't travel hand in hand through life's journey.
 In each person, there's a unique and unexplored "virgin forest" of
thoughts and experiences.
 This solitude is preferred at times, as constant companionship and
understanding would be unbearable.
 Breaking Pretenses in Illness:
 When sick, the need to keep up appearances and make-believe ends.
 Resting in bed or just slightly elevating one's feet breaks the mold of
societal expectations.
 The roles of a soldier in the army of the upright are abandoned; people
become more like deserters.
 Freedom in Illness:
 Illness allows people to be free from responsibilities.
 They drift like sticks on a stream, moving with fallen leaves on the lawn.
 This freedom offers a chance to look around and contemplate things
they may not have noticed for years, like the sky.
 Unexpected Sky Gazing:
 Looking at the sky for a while is usually uncommon.
 The view of the sky is usually obstructed by buildings and serves as a
backdrop for daily life.
 Discovering the Sky:
 Lying down and gazing upward reveals an extraordinary sight.
 The sky is full of constant activity, creating shapes and patterns, shifting
clouds, and playing with light and shade.
 Endless Natural Activity:
 The sky's continuous motion and transformation seem wasteful of
energy.
 It might be worth discussing or criticizing why this grand spectacle
goes on without any clear human purpose.
 Beauty and Indifference:
 The sky is both incredibly beautiful and indifferent to human concerns.
 Its immense beauty is separate from human enjoyment or benefit.
 Sky's Persistence:
 Even if all humans were incapacitated, the sky would still display its
blue and gold hues.
 Seeking Connection with Familiarity:
 Maybe looking at something familiar and small, like a rose, can evoke a
sense of connection or sympathy.
 Contemplating the Rose:
 We often associate roses with beauty, but we forget how they stand
still and steady in the earth for hours.
  The text invites us to observe the simple yet profound existence of a
rose.
 The Dignified Rose:
 The rose maintains a dignified and self-assured appearance.
 Its petals have a unique and impeccable arrangement.
 Vibrant Variety of Flowers:
 Various flowers sway in the breeze.
 Descriptions of different flowers: purple, creamy, gladioli, dahlias, lilies,
sunflowers, etc.
 The sunflower stands tall and proud during the day but may reject the
moon at night.
 The Presence of Flowers:
 These flowers are companions to humans.
 They symbolize emotions, adorn festivals, and rest upon the pillows of
the deceased.
 Nature and Religion:
 Poets find religious inspiration in nature.
 People seek virtue from plants in the countryside.
 Comfort in Indifference:
 Flowers' comfort comes from their indifference to human troubles.
 Just as clouds and falling petals visit untouched snowy landscapes,
great artists also provide comfort through their creations.
 Everyday Life Marches On:
 People, like ants or bees, continue with everyday tasks despite the sky's
indifference and the flowers' disregard.
 People catch trains, fix cars, milk cows, thatch roofs, and more.
 Endless Wave of Life:
 The wave of life continues without tiring or stopping.
 Nature's Unconcealed Power:
 Only those who are resting down understand that nature will eventually
triumph.
 The world will cool, frost will cover everything, the sun will dim.
 Resilience Amidst Uncertainty:
 Even while imagining frost, the resting ones rise, eager to find warmth.
 We can't simply become stiff and unchanging; we're compelled to
move forward.
 Hope of an Afterlife:
 The idea that humans have wished for eternity suggests the possibility
of an afterlife.
 There might be a mental refuge even if our feet can't physically reach it.
 Uncertain Religious Discourse:
 Reading the Bishop's discourse on Heaven is vague and weak.
  People attend church where lamps burn and bells ring, hoping beliefs
will replace desires.
 Doubts and Fatigue:
 Are the believers genuinely serene and illuminated?
 Would any of them jump into Heaven from Beachy Head?
 Believers seem tired and uncertain; even Bishops show fatigue
 ishop's Motor Car Gift:
 In newspapers, bishops get motor cars as gifts from their diocese.
 People say bishops need cars more than their followers.
 Challenges of Creating Heaven:
 Making Heaven doesn't need cars but time and focus.
 It requires a poet's imagination to truly shape it.
 Limited Imagination Alone:
 Without poets, our imagination about Heaven is limited.
 We imagine meeting people, talking with friends in Heaven, or reliving
various lives on Earth.
 Yearning for Poetic Imagination:
 We need poets to envision Heaven more profoundly.
 The role of creating Heaven should be given to the Poet Laureate.
 Seeking Poetry during Illness:
 When we're ill, it's hard to focus on long prose works.
 We can't analyze complex books like "The Decline and Fall of the
Roman Empire" or "The Golden Bowl" when we're unwell.
 Turning to Poetry:
 Instead, we turn to poetry to satisfy our tastes.
 We find lines or phrases that resonate deeply with us and bring vibrant
images to mind.
 Discovering Mystical Qualities:
 During sickness, words take on a special quality.
 We sense more than their surface meanings—like sounds, colors, and
rhythms—that the poet has placed to evoke emotions beyond words'
capacity.
 Poetry's Unique Power:
 Poets scatter these elements throughout their work to create a state of
mind that words alone can't convey or reason can't explain
 Influence of Incomprehensibility:
 When we're ill, the power of incomprehensibility is stronger.
 In health, we focus more on the meaning of words, but during illness,
the sounds take over.
 Effect of Illness on Reading:
 Illness makes us more daring and less cautious, like outlaws.
  When reading Shakespeare, our confidence rises because all barriers
and doubts are removed.
 Shakespeare and Illness:
 Illness lets us connect more deeply with Shakespeare's works, especially
plays like Lear and Macbeth.
 Even established critics become like mice compared to the power of
Shakespeare's words.
 The Exception of Hamlet:
 Hamlet stands out as the exception.
 People usually read Hamlet only once between the ages of twenty and
twenty-five because it embodies youth and self-exploration.
 Understanding Oneself in Hamlet:
 Critics find something familiar vanishing in Hamlet, like seeing oneself
in a mirror.
 Hamlet reflects the critic's own past, making the play's meaning ever-
changing.
 Continual Evolution of Hamlet:
 Hamlet remains open to various interpretations due to this constant
evolution of meaning.
 Unlike Lear or Macbeth, Hamlet lacks a solid, unchanging core.
 ut let's move away from Shakespeare and turn our attention to Augustus Hare. Some
people argue that even illness doesn't justify these shifts in focus. They claim that the
author of "The Story of Two Noble Lives" is not on the same level as Boswell. If we
suggest that, aside from the best literature, we actually prefer the worst—because
mediocrity is what we dislike—those critics won't accept that either. Fine, that's their
stance. The conventional view supports them. However, for those who are dealing
with a slight fever, the names Hare, Waterford, and Canning will always bring a
comforting glow. Not right away, though—particularly not in the first hundred pages.
Often in these bulky volumes, we get lost, and the abundance of aunts and uncles
threatens to overwhelm us. It's essential to remember that there's an atmosphere,
that even the great authors make us wait impatiently while they set the stage for
whatever is coming—whether it's a surprise or the absence of one. Hare also takes his
time; the enchantment sneaks up on us quietly. Gradually, we become almost like one
of the family, but not entirely, because the peculiarity of it all still strikes us. We share
the family's surprise when Lord Stuart leaves the room—there was a ball happening
—and then he's suddenly in Iceland. He claimed that parties bored him. That's how
English aristocrats were before they mixed marriage with intellectual pursuits, which
diluted the unique singularity of their minds. Parties bored them; they preferred to
travel to Iceland. Beckford's obsession with building castles struck.
 He transported a French chateau to England, adding extravagant towers for
servants' rooms on a crumbling cliff.
 Housemaids saw their brooms floating in the Solent, upsetting Lady Stuart.
She coped by planting evergreens despite the decay.
 Daughters, Charlotte and Louisa, grew up beautifully, constantly sketching,
dancing, and flirting in gauzy dresses.
 However, they aren't clearly distinguishable. Life then wasn't solely about
them; it was about families, groups, weaving a wide net of cousins,
dependents, and old retainers.
 Aunts (Aunt Caledon, Aunt Mexborough), grandmothers (Granny Stuart,
Granny Hardwicke) formed a close chorus, sharing joys, sorrows, Christmas
dinners, and growing old together in upright chairs, crafting paper flowers.
 Charlotte married Canning and moved to India, while Louisa married Lord
Waterford and went to Ireland.
 Letters traveled slowly on sailing ships, extending the timeframe even more.
Space and leisure seemed endless in the early 19th century.
 Faith wavered and revived, Hedley Vicars' life played a role. Aunts got colds
but recovered, cousins wedded, Irish famine and Indian Mutiny occurred.
 Both sisters remained, silently grieving as they carried hidden sorrows like
pearls, without leaving behind children in those times.
 Louisa, left in Ireland with Lord Waterford's hunting activities keeping him
away, often felt lonely.
 Nevertheless, she remained dedicated, visiting the poor and providing
comfort. She expressed sympathy for Anthony Thompson's memory loss and
hoped he could find solace in their Savior.
 Louisa filled thousands of notebooks with pen and ink drawings, spending
evenings sketching.
 She worked on designing frescoes for schoolrooms, inviting live sheep into
her bedroom, and draping gamekeepers in blankets for her art.
 She painted numerous Holy Family scenes and gained praise from George
Watts, who even claimed her as Titian's equal and Raphael's master.
 Lady Waterford found humor in this acclaim, acknowledging her limited
formal training by noting her unfinished angel's wings.
 She was also busy with her father's house, which was constantly eroding into
the sea. She worked to support it, entertained friends, and engaged in various
charitable activities.
 She sketched her husband, Lord Waterford, often late at night after his
hunting excursions.
 Tragically, one day he was killed in a horse stumble during a hunt.
 Louisa sensed his death before being officially informed. Her grief-stricken
posture by the window, watching his hearse depart, remained etched in Sir
John Leslie's memory.
 The curtain she held during her anguish was left deeply crushed, a poignant
symbol of her emotional turmoil.