Gridiron Gazette :

High Elves and 1 Vorgeheim 2523

Issue #25

the Union
In this month’s issue we look at the teams from the majestic isle of
Ulthuan and how repeated scandals eventually brought about the
creation of the Elf Union.

INSIDE
__
Galadrieth Gladiators
All style, not substance
__

Prince Moranion
A class act
__

Fulathian Filibusters
It’s about time
__

Elfheim Eagles
Arcane advances
__

Swift Twins
Sibling rivalry
__

Who’s Who
The full player and staff
directory
Gridiron Gazette – High Elves and the Union

Cooking up a
storm Galadrieth Gladiators
The Gladiators are one of - By Dolf Ungerhaagen
the few teams who keep a
weather mage Considering they are Ulthuan’s premier team, the Gladiators have something of a
permanently retained on
checkered past. Their early history appears to be somewhat lost, most likely the
the staff. Stormbrew
players and staff were too focused on decadent partying to actually write anything
Highcloud’s skills came
into play one game while down. Thus, their recorded history begins in the 2460s but in reality they are a
facing snotling much older team than that.
opposition. Smeggy ‘the
Glider’ Marshjuice had History
been making quite the
name for himself with his 2468 – The Ashvale Valar and Dar-Ellarath Beachtrees teams both financially collapse and as we’ll
new winged outfit. see later the Elfheim Eagles are formed. However, the best players from both teams were actually
Tossed by the team troll signed by the Gladiators and saw the team go on a 3 year high with the bolstered new talent.
he literally flew over the
opposition teams heads. 2470 – The zenith of that high sees the Gladiators win the Blood Bowl trophy, defeating the
That was until Highcloud Gouged Eye in the final. Their first ever win of one of the majors saw the most expensive post-
conjured up a storm to match parties ever recorded. At the behest of Morvael the Phoenix King, the party spread out over
whisk him away into the all of Ulthuan. Sadly, the players themselves, after such a bruising encounter with the Orcs, missed
heavens and on a one- it. They were too busy getting emergency apothecary and hair stylist appointments!
way trip around the frigid
far reaches of Norsca. Morvael was so pleased he demanded the team win the trophy again next year as an excuse to
throw another such party.
Looking good
2471 – The Gladiators had been developing the running game, in odds with the normal majestic
High Elf preference for passing. They went the whole season and didn’t throw a single pass as they
All Elf teams are
focused on the run. It was a disaster! They are dumped out of the Blood Bowl and in a rage,
pampered, but the
Morvael exiles the team from Ulthuan! They are forced to play on the road.
Gladiators took it to new
levels, their spending was
beyond excessive. Hot 2485 – After a barren patch the Gladiators reach the Blood Bowl quarterfinals where they play the
Dwarf Giants. 2-0 up and with the Giants reduced to 9 players, things were looking good. Then a
spring saunas, personal
teleportation spells and dummy ball packed with explosives killed one of the High Elves – a cruel trick! The Gladiators and
chimera skin kitbags were their fans stormed over to the Giants dug-out for revenge but met the immovable wall of the Giants
cheerleading squad. 110 fans were killed, most of the Gladiators squad injured and unfit to
the norm. No preen too
continue. The Giants went on to win the game!
far, no pamper too exotic.
It's no wonder the team
2489 – With the NAF collapsing, the Gladiators fall on hard times. In desperation they sign a huge
faced financial ruin when
the NAF collapsed and sponsorship deal with McMurty’s to promote something called a ‘veggie’ burger - would you
the money tap was turned believe it was meat free? Clearly aimed at the Elf market. As part of the deal a name change is
off. also forced on the team, for one season only they became the McMurty’s Big Murt Gladiators.

2490 – The Court of Eagles, a conclave of High Elf princes, buy the Gladiators and restore the
Underachievers previous team name. At last, fans thought, this once great team would have some pride and
honour restored. Alas no, even this new deal had some small print that was to see the Gladiators
With one solitary Blood descend further into farce. The owners were now allowed to play themselves if they wanted to and
Bowl title to their name, so eager but talentless young princelings took the place of seasoned veterans on the pitch.
the Gladiators have never
lived up to their promise. 2492 – Trying to arrest their descent, the Gladiators sign Bo Gallanté and results seems to improve
All of their other awards but he only stays for a season. He’s never said why he left but clearly something wasn’t right with
and honours lack any real the team.
credibility such as ‘Best
Post Match Party - 2470’ 2501 – Lucien Swift, long term and long-suffering team captain leaves the Eagles to become a full
or ‘Most Aesthetic Pass – time free booter with his brother. Without his steady hand at the rudder are the Gladiators about
2483’. It’s about time to plunge into another period of poor form again?
they won something!
Gridiron Gazette – High Elves and the Union

Prince Moranion – Star Profile The Lions of Chrace

The Dragons weren’t the only team to fall

- By Gerhardt Schtumpf
foul of the Nightwings in a cavern
stadium game. In 2391 the Lions players
There are a few players who seem to excel at being unpopular even
were struggling to see in their game
amongst their own fans. The Dragon Prince is certainly one of them! when the Dark Elves provided no
artificial lighting at all.
Moranion was once in line for the Phoenix throne itself and a long life of duty and
honour. However, fate was to take him down another path as he found his martial None of the High Elves reserves were
prowess could be put to good use on the Blood Bowl pitch. able to see the bottomless pit their dug
out was placed next to until they stepped
He first played for the Caledor Dragons, one of the oldest High Elf teams. into it . . . .
Moranion was one of the few survivors of the infamous match against the Nagaroth
Nightwings in 2384. Playing in a Druchii cavern stadium, half the Dragons died
when an opposition pass knocked free a number of huge stalactites, decimating
Fulathian Filibusters
their defensive line.
The Filibusters were well known for pre-
Keen for more glory, Moranion set up a team in his own image – the Dragon game shows that lasted so long
Princes. They were made up only of the most elite within Ulthuan society and (potentially decades) that the opposition
would only deign to play teams of equal merit. Predictably there weren’t any and in got bored or too old to play.
2451 the team disbanded having not played a single game.
They foolishly tried this trick against the
Eager to actually play a match, Moranion returned to the Dragons and purchased Champions of Death. After such a long
the team – it doesn’t hurt to be fabulously wealthy. Despite his leadership, or delay half the crowd died, Tomolandry
maybe because of it, the team failed to make any real impression until the collapse reanimated and sent the fans on a pitch
of the NAF. Moranion was able to fund the team himself when others collapsed invasion. The Filibusters are fighting
and they have since entered a relative golden era, making the Blood Bowl quarter- their way out even now!
finals several times.
High Seas Surfriders
Being of such a haughty disposition, Moranion has always struggled to connect
with common fans. When interviewed he once said they ‘must work on their The vanity of Elf teams is legendary,
hygiene’. He really doesn’t help himself, does he? This led to chanting of ‘Prince nobody preens like an Elf. The Surfriders
Moranion is a girl’ about the aloof Elf. took it to new extremes though. They
took so long to get ready for each game
Any lesson he may have learnt about Blood Bowl management, it’s a shame he that in the end they could only attend
didn’t transfer it elsewhere. He opened a restaurant unsurprisingly called every other one, being forced to forfeit
‘Moranions’ in Ulthuan. The guest list was to be super exclusive. The reader may the other.
be shocked to learn the restaurant mostly sits empty as they won’t serve the
majority of people who would consider going. To prove that vanity isn’t just a High Elf
trait, the Great Hawks Wood Elf team are
What next for the Dragon Prince? Who knows, more poor decisions served with a exactly the same!
heavy dose of arrogance and utter lack of self-awareness most likely. What a guy!

Bo Gallanté – oozing confidence

‘The Beau’ certainly has something to say not just about himself, but also about pretty much all
of his more decorated peers. He was content to lambast other High Elves calling Moranion’s
fashion ‘so 2340’ or the Swift twins ‘Try-hards’ but he was always careful to avoid any bad
words for his Dark Elf cousins . . . if anything he sucks up to Roxanna Darknail. However, it all
went wrong when he said Jordell Freshbreeze had ‘awful hair’! A grudge match was arranged
between the Fire Isle Phoenixs and the Athelorn Avengers. A boot to the face and the
humiliation of crawling off the pitch while that match continued despite his protestations was
enough for Gallanté to see the error of his ways. He returned in the second half, shook
Freshbreeze’s hand and avoided him for the rest of the game. Has he learnt his lesson . . . . ?
Gridiron Gazette – High Elves and the Union

Forming the Union

Elfheim Eagles – founding fathers
Ulthuan has a long and - By Rusty Hoelle
sordid history of scandals
which gained more
The Eagles were definitely the first team to be formed in the Union model. Unlike
attention than the game
the teams who were to follow, it wasn’t through some higher purpose. Instead,
itself at times. Who could
forget that time when the
they were the brain child of a financier who saw a gap in the market and grasped
Phoenix King was seen an opportunity. . . . .
wearing a Darkside
Cowboys jersey – oh the History
shame!
2468 – The 60s were a time of financial hardship for many Blood Bowling teams. Businessman
The Wood and Dark Elves Valahar Gallanté completed hostile take overs of Dar-Ellerath Beachtrees and the Ashvale Valar.
weren’t themselves Gallanté asset stripped both teams by selling their best players to the Gladiators and their
immune from the shameful stadiums to developers who would turn them into open air markets. With the collapse of a third
behaviour of some of their Elf team, he acquired the Vale Stadium and hired Perellian Ashblade to mold the remaining
own leaders and teams. Wood Elf and High Elf players into a team. He also acquired the services of a masseur . . . or
Who could forget that it more accurately a powerful wizard to aid the team’s
was the Darkside Cowboys progress.
cheerleading squad who
ran off with Nikk Three- 2471 – Orcidas take over the running of the Chaos
Horn when the NAF Cup and eject the Eagles for no other reason they
collapsed. they were Elves. Although the NAF step in to reverse
the decision, the Eagles vow never to take part again!
It reached a point where a
number of the players had 2472 – The team’s wizard teaches the players the
had enough. They wanted infamous Quagmire spell – it produces small areas of
what they did on the pitch quicksand to slow the opposition. In one game against the Bright Crusaders, the players cast it
to be the headlines and so many times that the Crusaders entire arena sinks below the earth! The NAF, with the aid of the
not related to another Colleges of Magic, ban on-field spell casting.
financial collapse or some
steamy gossip on which 2480 – Despite only being 12 years old, the Eagles reach the Blood Bowl final and cause a huge
coach had been caught upset by defeating the Nurgle’s Rotters. The team’s wizard was largely responsible again as he
with their pants down. A animated the grass and turned a number of the Rotters players into ambivalent college students!
number of Elves decided It turns out the masseur was the best investment Gallanté had made! Speaking of the owner, he
to break away and form also made a fortune on the game having bet 200,000 golf crowns on an Eagles win at 15-1 odds!
their own teams and so the
Union was born. Their 2488 – With the collapse of the NAF the team begin to struggle financially. Gallanté starts selling
focus was what happened starting spots on the team to high paying Ulthuan nobles. This causes a player revolt and a
on the pitch and not what number leave to join one of the newly emerging Union teams.
happened off it.
2495 – Ashblade rebuilds the team in a remarkably short space of time and they storm their way
The number of Union to the Blood Bowl final, scoring some huge wins. A sneak play by Varag Ghoul-Chewer in the
teams swelled with the final though sees the Gouged Eye come away with the victory.
collapse of the NAF.
Without funding many 2497 – The team suffer serious losses to the Dwarf Giants who inscribes the Master Rune of
teams folded and so the Flatulence on the team. The resulting . . . err effect . . . saw a number of Eagle fatalities and
unemployed Elf players players seriously injured by the aroma.
looked to the Union for a
new home. Although Elf 2500 – More glory awaits in the final of the Spike! Magazine trophy but any hopes are cruelly
Union teams are mostly dashed by the mailed fists and spiked boots of the Thunder Valley Greenskins. A lot of the
made up of High Elves, it is Eagles starting lineup are lost.
not uncommon to find
both Wood and Dark Elves 2501 – Valen Swift leaves as captain and takes the best of the remaining starting line up with him.
in their ranks. The future looks bleak for the Eagles. Can Ashblade work his magic again . . . ?
Gridiron Gazette – High Elves and the Union

The brothers Swift Soaren Hightower

- By Lastiges Weisschen You could almost feel sorry for Soaren

if, like every other Elf, he wasn’t so full
Everyone knows about the Swift Foundation set up to help struggling young of himself. He is probably the second-
players or the twins’ trips to Norsca from the cabalvision show “A Swift trip best passer in the league, unfortunately
up north”. Their saga on the pitch is what really gets people talking. the best passer is also on the same
team!
Valen had decided to retire in 2472 and to become a fashion adviser instead. It
was not long after his brother Lucien had become captain of the Galadrieth Clearly the Eagles wizard ‘Masseur’ has
Gladiators. Jealousy perhaps? Who knows. There followed a 12-year absence been at work again. Soaren is known
from the game as he turned his back on Blood Bowl until a lost bet with Lucien for his ‘Disguise’ pass which has
saw all of that change in 2484. As a result, he agreed to return to the astrogranite, flummoxed a myriad of opponents.
but not for the Gladiators. Instead, he was made captain of the Elfheim Eagles. Whenever they think they are about to
intercept a pass, they suddenly find
Records were soon to start tumbling, Valen came back an even better player than themselves holding a pigeon or worse!
when he left. He soon held the Eagles record of 25 completed passes in a row
and the NAF record of 65 pass attempts without being intercepted. He still kept He'll be regretting his run in with Elijah
up his fashion work on his side as evidenced when he said “We're here to play Doom which ruined his good looks. In
Blood Bowl, not to look good. Of course, we can't help it if we do anyway . . . ". a tense Elven Kingdoms League match,
Doom flattened Soaren and knocked
Lucien clearly wasn’t happy. The Eagles were eclipsing the Gladiators in form and half of his teeth out calling him a
profile. The Gladiators star blitzer was starting to feel like he was playing in his ‘ridiculous peacock!’. Hard to argue
brother’s shadow. Tensions arose between the two as they increasingly fell out with that really!
publicly. It all came to a head in 2487 when Lucien challenged the Eagles to a
game to decide which was the better team and brother. It was an unusually tense
affair for an all-Elf game that didn’t involve Dark Elves. Several times the game
was paused as fights broke out in the stands; the brothers weren’t the only rivals
struggling to control the tempers. The game turned out to be a classic and
eventually went to overtime. With the clock ticking down Valen had the ball and
the Eagles were on the attack. However, Gladiators blitzer Alarion Pureheart
slipped through the Eagles defences and clattered into Valen with a thumping
tackle. The thrower went down heavily, breaking his collar bone and spilling the
ball. The Gladiators recovered the ball and went on to score the winner, but all of
the cabalvision camras were on Lucien rather than the Gladiators celebrations.
Galandril Silverwater
Lucien was instantly at his brothers’ side, more concerned for his well-being than
the games result. The brothers were reconciled on the pitch – it was a ratings Galandril is perhaps the most famous
smash! cheerleader to strut the sidelines. She
quit the Tiranoc Titans in favour of the
Jump forward to 2501 and Valen leaves the Eagles for good, taking a number of Elfheim Eagles for an eye watering
their best players with him. Rumours circulate of a dip in form and a drinking contract. Her secret was her innate
problem with a weakness for Bloodweiser. The brothers set up the Kallahir Swifts magical ability and the way it could
and began running their own team, modestly named after themselves. That with inspire fans and players alike. Now
their charity organisations and documentary series on cabalvision (about retired, she has recently written a book
themselves, naturally) should keep them busy. called ‘My Life’s Great’ and released a
straight to cabalvision fitness show.

Celestial Comets
What do Dungeon Bowl players do when they graduate college but don’t get signed to a Blood Bowl team? They create
their own team of course! The Comets were formed when Elves of all races grouped together to make their own team and
venture onto the astrogranite. However, they didn’t entirely leave their old habits behind them. Before the game kicks off
the Comets have been known to set up teleporters ‘borrowed’ from a College dungeon and place them under the trap
doors on the pitch. It certainly explains why a player in the Comets backfield carrying the ball can suddenly appear in the
oppositions half so easily for an unexpected (not to mention quick) score. Sneaky blighters!
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Who’s Who . . . . High Elves . . . . Exclusive is the word.

These are the High Elves who took to the pitch and looked down at any and all of their opponents.

High Elf Blitzers

Name Team Status
Alarion Pureheart Galadrieth Gladiators Alive
Lucien Swift Galadrieth Gladiators Alive
Patricio Arce ** Freebooter ** Alive
Prince Moranion ** Freebooter ** Alive
Valerius Rush ** Freebooter ** Alive
Yorken Soar ** Freebooter ** Alive

High Elf Throwers

Name Team Status
Breda Freedom ** Freebooter ** Alive
Landir Yvrace Lords of Yvresse Alive
Larholen Swift ** Freebooter ** Alive
Pern Fection ** Freebooter ** Alive

High Elf Throwers

Name Team Status
Bo "The Beau" Gallanté ** Freebooter ** Alive
Che-Wai ** Freebooter ** Alive

High Elf Linemen

Name Team Status
Galrond Goldleaf ** Freebooter ** Alive
Pierrot Rainforest Galadrieth Gladiators Retired
Tharion the Bright Galadrieth Gladiators Retired
Ulleria Morr Unknown Alive
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Other Races
The below are players from other races who through some strange twist of fate, ended up playing for a High Elf or Elf Union team.

Name Position Team Status

Eldril Sidewinder Sea Elf Wardancer ** Freebooter ** Alive
Longbark Earthroot Treeman Galadrieth Gladiators Dead – Set alight by the Lowdown Rats

Staff
The below are Elves who have worked on any team.

Name Race Position Team Status

Angeline Pristine Elven Union Cheerleader Elfheim Eagles Alive
Court of Eagles High Elf Team Owner Galadrieth Gladiators Alive
Dr Pill Elf Apothecary Bad Bay Hackers Alive
Galandril Silverwater High Elf Cheerleader ** Freebooter ** Alive
Gouriel Denuss Elven Union Head Coach Celestial Comets Alive
Ilithrion Vale High Elf Head Coach Galadrieth Gladiators Alive
Jevel Arrendil Sea Elf Magical Southstorm Squids Alive
Co-ordinator
Kaleb Windtalker Elf Apothecary Unknown Alive
Kalgan Lannersann Elven Union Head Coach Elfheim Eagles Alive
Lasen Waterfall Elven Union Team Owner Elfheim Eagles Alive
Olsen Merlin Elf Wizard Bad Bay Hackers Dead – killed by the F.A. Cup
Perellian Ashblade Elven Union Head Coach Elfheim Eagles Alive
Prince Moranion High Elf Team Owner Dragon Princes Alive
Stormbrew Highcloud High Elf Magical Galadrieth Gladiators Alive
Co-ordinator
The Eaglets Elven Union Cheerleading Elfheim Eagles Alive
squad
Valahar Gallanté Elven Union Team Owner Elfheim Eagles Alive

Officials
The below are Elves who have worked on any team.

Name Race Position Status

Citelieth Lawquoter High Elf Referee Alive
Whyte Elf Game Wizard Alive
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Other ‘famous’ Elves

Name Race Position Status

Alyssa Avalos Elf Pitchside Reporter Alive
Mon Jotsun Elf BBC Commentator Alive
Phoenix King Morvael the Impetuous High Elf High Elf King Alive
Sethryn Wyrmsbane High Elf Famous Warrior Alive
Valen Tyne Elf Loved crazed Elf Alive

High Elf teams

Ashvale Valar Fulathian Filibusters Lords of Yvresse
Caledor Dragons Galadrieth Gladiators Tiranoc Tigers
Dragon Princes Kallahir Swifts Tiranoc Titans
Fire Isle Phoenixes Lords of Chrace Ulthuan Avengers
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Who’s Who . . . . Elf Union . . . . a mixture of Elfish All-Sorts.

These are all players who have hit the pitch looking fabulous in an Elf Union clothing line

Blitzers
Name Team Status
Ferrestrial Goldhoove Everbold Unicorns Alive
Ffarren Branchstrength Elfheim Eagles Alive
Oriel Blaze Celestial Comets Alive
Orion Spangletongue Unknown Alive
Rufaeo Tryl Celestial Comets Alive
Silvyen Swiftstep Elfheim Eagles Alive
Vorean Dawnstar Elfheim Eagles Alive

Throwers
Name Team Status
Gwion Falconeye Celestial Comets Alive
Jorral Brightarm Elfheim Eagles Alive
Lariala Vinetree Kallahir Swifts Alive
Lyborel Lakebreeze Elfheim Eagles Alive
Soaren Hightower Elfheim Eagles Retired
Solenis Firepass Celestial Comets Alive
Valen Swift Elfheim Eagles Alive

Catchers
Name Team Status
Fanafriel Cleardawn Elfheim Eagles Alive
Foreleon Summerdraft Elfheim Eagles Alive
Harelyon Tallelm Elfheim Eagles Alive
Highelm Lyrpadre Elfheim Eagles Alive
Ibrahim Golddawn Elfheim Eagles Alive
Lonell Swift Celestial Comets Alive
Nyresol Featherstep Elfheim Eagles Alive
Oderaen Highreach Elfheim Eagles Alive
Pinedweller Cumulus Elfheim Eagles Alive
Threllas Surehands Celestial Comets Alive
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Linemen
Name Team Status
Byufell Triehugger Elfheim Eagles Alive
Caelis "The Avenger" Thyll Celestial Comets Alive
Cathvren Fairlock Elfheim Eagles Alive
Disoryl Seawind Elfheim Eagles Alive
Dolfar Longstride ** Freebooter ** Dead – Killed by Roxanna Darknail
Ellenari Tespeth Celestial Comets Alive
Erewine Ar-Khorigan Elfheim Eagles Retired
Eron Bluetree Celestial Comets Alive
Fennel Tallelm Elfheim Eagles Retired
Filamir Tylanis Celestial Comets Alive
Jarren Unknown Alive
Kaprica Rootstem Elfheim Eagles Alive
Kerredith Morr Elfheim Eagles Alive
Kyrnos the Reaper Celestial Comets Alive
Lassolegs Gladhandriel Elfheim Eagles Alive
Lithoryl Palesilver Elfheim Eagles Alive
Moraes Quickstem Elfheim Eagles Alive
Norelius Quiverstep Elfheim Eagles Alive
Oakwarmth Salladrien Elfheim Eagles Alive
Opaldawn Mardiell Elfheim Eagles Alive
Raichoel Riverflow Elfheim Eagles Alive
Rowan "Rootstem" Elderbranch Elfheim Eagles Retired
Ruatha Tembilin Elfheim Eagles Retired
Sussurrus Morr Elfheim Eagles Alive
Tall Erreden Elfheim Eagles Alive
Ullerien Morr Elfheim Eagles Alive
Urion Brantho Celestial Comets Alive
Winsom Anglepoise Unknown Alive

Elf Union teams

Celestial Comets Elfheim Eagles
 Gridiron Gazette – High Elf / Elf Union

Looking ahead . . . .
In issue 26 of the Gridiron Gazette we’ll be looking at old ideas re-imagined as we cast our steely gaze over the Old World Alliance
teams. We’ll be answering such questions as -

➢ Where did the original Old World Alliance teams go . . . ?

➢ What caught out Manfred Weasel . . . . ?
➢ Why is it sometimes more dangerous playing with Dwarfs than against them . . . ?
➢ Manfred Mincer . . . . . why is he called silver balls . . . ?

Final Fact!
With the teams captain leaving, the Eagles are in need of new leadership. There is a lot of weight therefore on college signee Orion
Spangletongue, billed as being the next big thing. Spangletongue, a stripling youth at a mere 80 years old, has been ripping up the
record books in the college leagues. He really shot to fame when he became the first player outside of the professional game, to
make a long bomb pass from deep within his own half and then catch it himself to score in the oppositions half. It’s a lot of pressure
on the young players shoulders, can he live up to it?