IN SEEK OF LOVE

FIVE YEARS OF JOURNEY

2017-2021
 Chapter – 1
Introduction to Love
Absolutely confused & completely feeling hatred on myself that why i am
like this in a half boiled state. A sad beginning right! But hope atleast the
ending would be fine. It's completely based on true events came across
my life.
School life probable the best part in everyone's life and in my case too.
Not only because of friends, but by the entry of two girls came into my
life namely Sree and Jyo. They made me smile, laugh and became the
reason behind my happiness by showing there love towards me in a
friendly manner. You know what, both of them were younger than me
by 4 years, but that feeling never came across in our lives since we used
to be like a good friends. As the days pass, my feeling on Sree started
changing from good friend to a true lover (one side) and never felt that
could happen. It's all because of the surprise she gave me on my
birthday, which made me to realise that "Am i that much important in
her life?" But I have not expressed my feeling on her at that moment
because of the fear that i would loose her friendship too.

YEAR PASSED
On a fine day, for the first time in my life she texted me after a long meet
and never felt that it would be the last conversation between us. Reason
behind this is, i expressed my love on her and soon felt hatred on myself
knowing that tears came on her eyes soon after listening to my proposal.
Because she never had that feeling on me atleast once. As months passes
my feelings on her started growing day by day. Everyday i used to think
about the memories that I had with her and felt very sad.
But later i realized that no one will stay permanently in our lives not even
our parents too but only our soulmate and she might not be the one. And
today September 2020, i am heartfully accepting that there is no more a
feeling of love on Sree & she is going to be my sweetest friend forever
100%
Feeling the story came to an end? Not yet! Look at the remaining part of
the story which turned me into a one side lover again.
I have not introduced about Jyo in my life right! Jyo, a cute-angry-smart-
innocent-sweet girl. She likes me very much when we three were a good
friends. We used to roam, talk, argue, play & had many more memories
in our school days. But because of a small argument came between us (3
year's before), she stopped speaking with me. She used to maintain an
angry face whenever i come across. But always i used to receive her
anger with a smiling face since i too like her very much. When she doesn't
bother about me, I don't know why the hell I used to care about her! "If
this is what love, i am definitely in love with her 100%" This realization
started in my life from past few months ago. And from that moment, i
am waiting for a single chance to speak to her and explain everything i
came across in my life & to express my love on her truly. Heartfully
hoping that this would happen.
Finally i have learned one thing, "The one whom we love is not our
soulmate, but the one who becomes part in our life is our soulmate. So
don't die for love. Love can be felt by anyone, with anyone. No one is
your soulmate until God decides. Love means not roaming in parks,
theatres, or something else. Love is truly an understanding between two
people which strengthens them to be together in happiness, sadness,
difficulties they come across and to have trust on each other.
 Chapter – 2
Introduction to Life
As i have mentioned in previous part, i am waiting for a single chance to
express my love towards Jyo.
Though we both lived in a same village, we don't have any conversation
between us. After a long time, i have seen her in a half saree function. I
felt it's right time to talk with her, but I didn't. Honestly, tears came that
night when i was on sleep, felt very sad that when i truly love her, why i
am not able to express that love to her. Days are passing & my feelings
on her are increasing day by day.
Its our diploma final semester exams. Finally I have taken a step forward
& decided to speak with her. For the first time, listen! for the first time
in my life, i went to talk with a girl, obviously Jyo to express my love. I am
walking on road with lot of thoughts running in my mind. Luckily, i saw
her cycling on road & i called her. She heard my voice & looked at me. I
asked her, how are you? she replied very strangely. I said, I came to speak
a lot with you but the moment you came front of me made me
speechless. She said, okay we will talk later.
With a little hope, I have decided to make a second attempt. I have
understood that i can't express my love on her directly. So this time i
have started writing a letter & mentioned everything happened in my life
including my first love on Sree & also i have mentioned my phone
number in middle of the letter. The very next day, i went with the letter.
I found her playing shuttle near her house & asked her Jyo, I need to talk
with you, but she refused. I don't know what to do at that moment. I am
just crossing her house with lots of doubts running on my mind.
After a moment, i looked back & she looked at me. Slowly with a low
voice i called her & kept letter on her hand & left that place immediately.
Reached home & felt so happy that somehow i made her understand my
love on her.
That night (27th September, 2020), i have received a text message for
the first time from her. Can you guess what she might have replied?
She replied, I don't have that kind of opinion on you. That's the second
time in my life, my heart was broken. But this was not as much painful as
the first one. She said sorry for that & said let's be friends. But I have not
agreed for that in the beginning. Thereafter, we used to chat daily & that
made her very close to me. To be frank, i got addicted to her. She too felt
the same, but after listening to an advise from someone, she started
avoiding me. As the days are passing, i came to know that though she
was not in love with me, she likes me very much & that made her do like
that. After few days i asked her, if you truly love me & wants me to be in
your life, just say 'Okay' I will take care of each & everything & I will
convince our parents. But she said, Rajkumar please don't force me.
That's it!
Today, dated 23rd October 2021 on the behalf of her birthday, heartfully
I agree that there is no more a feeling of love on her & obviously i agree
that, "Singles are the Best"
During our school/ college days, almost all of us would have done this
(searching for a lover-thinking about her-feeling them as our soulmate)
& i too did the same. But finally, i have realized that if there is someone
in this world who really love us unconditionally, it's obviously our
PARENTS, there is no doubt in that. So my advice to all is simple, instead
of searching love in someone & wasting time for them, realise the love
& care shown by your parents. Always remember that, they are the one
who introduced you into this world.
Finally i would like to thank both Sree & Jyo for making me
understand the true meaning of love & life.

So, this is my life - A Never Ending Journey

– urstruly_raj

JAI HIND