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    Ngọc Thuý
    The document summarizes information from pie charts showing the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector in 2015 and 2020. It states that in 2015, the 21-30 age group and those over 50 had the highest percentages, while those under 21 had the lowest. By 2020, the highest proportion was the 21-30 group and the lowest was 31-40. It notes the 21-30 group increased by 10% from 2015 to 2020, while the 41-50 group also grew. In contrast, the 31-40 and over 50 groups decreased by 10% and 7% respectively over this period, and those under 21 fell slightly.

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    Writing

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    Ngọc Thuý
    4 views4 pages
    The document summarizes information from pie charts showing the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector in 2015 and 2020. It states that in 2015, the 21-30 age group and those over 50 had the highest percentages, while those under 21 had the lowest. By 2020, the highest proportion was the 21-30 group and the lowest was 31-40. It notes the 21-30 group increased by 10% from 2015 to 2020, while the 41-50 group also grew. In contrast, the 31-40 and over 50 groups decreased by 10% and 7% respectively over this period, and those under 21 fell slightly.

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    The document summarizes information from pie charts showing the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector in 2015 and 2020. It states that in 2015, the 21-30 age group and those over 50 had the highest percentages, while those under 21 had the lowest. By 2020, the highest proportion was the 21-30 group and the lowest was 31-40. It notes the 21-30 group increased by 10% from 2015 to 2020, while the 41-50 group also grew. In contrast, the 31-40 and over 50 groups decreased by 10% and 7% respectively over this period, and those under 21 fell slightly.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    4 views4 pages

    Writing

    Uploaded by

    Ngọc Thuý
    The document summarizes information from pie charts showing the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector in 2015 and 2020. It states that in 2015, the 21-30 age group and those over 50 had the highest percentages, while those under 21 had the lowest. By 2020, the highest proportion was the 21-30 group and the lowest was 31-40. It notes the 21-30 group increased by 10% from 2015 to 2020, while the 41-50 group also grew. In contrast, the 31-40 and over 50 groups decreased by 10% and 7% respectively over this period, and those under 21 fell slightly.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 4

    Class code: 223_71ENG610063_12

    Student’s name: Đỗ Thị Ngọc Điệp


    Peer editor’s name: Đới Nguyễn Bảo Trang
    Date: 17/05/2023

    WRITING ASSIGNMENT – LESSON 3

    Unit: 6
    Topic:
    The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector
    in the UK in 2015 and 2020.
    Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make
    comparisons where relevant.
    Write at least 150 words.

    • 1st draft
    The pie charts illustrate the number of individuals recruited by age in the UK's public sector
    between 2015 and 2020.

    Overall, there is a significant difference in the proportion between 2000 and 2016. In 2015, the
    age group 21-30 and over 50 had the same high percentage while the age group under 21
    accounts for the lowest proportion. In contrast, 5 years later, the age group with the highest
    proportion was 21-30 while the lowest proportion was in the age group 31-40.

    The percentage of the 21-30 age group increased to 10%, from 23% to 33% after 5 years.
    Following the same trend, the proportion of 41-50 years old grew from 19% to 28% during the
    same period.

    However, the rate of people in the 31-40 age group decreased by 10%, from 21% to 11% after
    5 years. Similarly, over 50 years old dropped from 23% to 16%. Besides, the proportion of
    people under 21 years of age fell slightly from 14% to 12%.

    • Self-assessment (checklist)

    • Peer assessment (checklist)

    Content Y/N Feedback


    Task Achievement
    Does the report contain at least 150 words? Yes 161 words
    Has the author paraphrased the question in the
    Yes
    introduction?
    Has the overview presented the most noticeable
    feature of the pie chart(s) (e.g. the highest Yes
    proportion, the main difference/similarity, etc.)?
    Has the report covered the significant features (the
    biggest/ smallest proportions, or differences/ Yes
    similarities)?
    Coherence & Cohesion
    Has the information been grouped into paragraphs
    Yes
    clearly?
    Is the report presented in a logical order? Yes
    Are there at least 3 transitional expressions used
    Yes Overall, However, besides…
    correctly (e.g. First, Besides, Overall, etc.)?
    Lexical Resource
    Has the question been paraphrased properly? Yes
    Does the author avoid repeating vocabulary? No
    Does the report contain vocabulary specific to pie
    Yes
    charts?
    Grammatical Range and Accuracy
    Are the sentences grammatically, correct? Yes
    Has punctuation been used correctly? Yes
    Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement
    Yes
    been checked?
    Timing
    Was the task completed within 20 minutes? Yes

    • Final version

    The pie charts illustrate the number of individuals recruited by age in the UK's public sector
    between 2015 and 2020.

    Overall, there is a significant difference in the proportion between 2000 and 2016. In 2015,
    the age group 21-30 and over 50 had the same high percentage while the age group under 21
    accounts for the lowest proportion. In contrast, 5 years later, the age group with the highest
    proportion was 21-30 while the lowest proportion was in the age group 31-40.

    The percentage of the 21-30 age group increased to 10%, from 23% to 33% after 5 years.
    Following the same trend, the proportion of 41-50 years old grew from 19% to 28% during the
    same period.

    However, the rate of people in the 31-40 age group decreased by 10%, from 21% to 11% after
    5 years. Similarly, over 50 years old dropped from 23% to 16%. Besides, the proportion of
    people under 21 years of age fell slightly from 14% to 12%.
    • Rubric for grading

    • Link Sharepoint/ Onedrive/ Google drive your collaboration space (optional)

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