Zion Haggadah Seder Supplement 2024
Zion Haggadah Seder Supplement 2024
The Solidarity
Seder Supplement 2024
by Mishael Zion and Noam Zion
illustrations by Michel Kichka
Table of 3 Introduction
The Contemporary Four Sons and Daughters 29 A Guide for Parents and
Michel Kichka, Racheli Shalev, Philip Roth, Families
Franz Kafka, Yoel Heshin, Tamar Elad-
Appelbaim, A. J. Heschel, and, Ziva (Tezezew) How will we celebrate Passover this
Mekonen Degu Year?
Dasee Berkowitz
21 B'khol Dor VaDor
בכל דור ודור
Michael Walzer, Exodus and Revolution As Passover comse closer and the war Mishael and Noam Zion
continues, we have distributed gift copies of mishzion@gmail.com Available now!
the new Israeli Haggadah to the thousands of noam.zion@gmail.com A Night to Remember:
The old will be made new, and the new families most impacted by this war - bereaved The Haggadah of Contemporary
made holy. families who have lost their loved ones, and Available in Israel only. For delivery (send a Voices is available
families evacuated from the endangered gift to an Israeli relative!)
Rav Abraham Isaac Kook, first chief Ashkenazi rabbi of Eretz borders in the Galilee and the Gaza strip click here » tinyurl.com/yisraelit haggadahsrus.com
Yisrael, 1865-193 environs, who are celebrating Seder away
from their homes. $19.95 | DISCOUNTS: 2 or more $14.95;
10 or more $12.95.
We turned to you, our North American
friends, colleagues and rabbis, to join us Orders delivered from our center in
in this endeavor, and were heartened by Cleveland, Ohio:
the warm and generous response. This
joint initiative, together with the Shalom Joe Gelles
Hartman Institute, allowed us to distribute 216.321.6734
thousands of copies of the Israeli Haggadah jbgelles@gmail.com
to families across Israel.
ַקַ ּ �ֵּדשׁ
some soft-skinned and some rough,
some hard and some juicy.
Each fruit brings its own flavor,
colors and texture.
a great creation - breathing and vital, for their Kibbutz Haggadah. This text was written in 1996, and re- 2023.
new, innovative, and self-renewing. published also in the Beeri Kibbutz Haggadah in 1999. Avner and
Maya are survived by their four children, Gal, Asif, Bar and Dekel.
Let us raise our glass to toast The literal translation of the word Kibbutz in Hebrew is “gathering”.
our return into the gates of our land,
to a kibbutz of ingathered exiles,
celebrating its fusion of cultures,
and welcoming all who gather and take part!
ַיַַחַץ
stories not only of our ancestors but of those glory soiled unto you.
who have no voice, those who are missing
from our table but not from our hearts. Entering the Broken World Do not let the spark of my soul go out in the
Some are beloved parents and grandparents by Mishael Zion even sadness.
who once played a central role in our Seder,
some are cut off members of our worldwide The Pesach story begins in a broken world, Let me raise the brokenness to you, to the
Jewish family and some are just family amidst slavery and oppression. The sound world where the breaking is for love.
members who could not join us and it hurts of the breaking of the matza sends us into
to pass over that poignant absence without that fractured existence, only to become Do not let the words be mine, but change
marking it. Ritual can help heal the pain whole again when we find the broken half, them into truth.
caused by these poignant absences, making the afikoman, at the end of the Seder.
the missing seem present With these lips instruct my heart, and let fall
This brokenness is neither just a physical nor into the world what is broken in the world.
The tradition of pouring a cup "for the a political situation: It reminds us of all those Lift me up to the wrestling of faith.
missing" began in the kibbutzim during hard, damaged places within ourselves. All
World War II when the Fourth Cup was those narrow places from which we want Do not leave me where the sparks go out,
dedicated to the many kibbutz members to break free. In Hebrew, Egypt is called and the jokes are told in the dark, and new
who had volunteered to serve in the British "Mitzrayim", reminding us of the word things are called forth and appraised in the
Army fighting the Nazis. In the 1970s and "tzar", narrow. Thus, in Hasidic thought, scale of the terror.
1980s, many left an empty chair at the table Mitzrayim symbolizes the inner straits that
or added a fourth matza for Soviet Jews or trap our souls. Yet even here we can find a Face me to the rays of love, O source of light,
Syrian Jews who were not free to celebrate unique value, as the Hasidic saying teaches or face me to the majesty of your darkness,
Passover or to make aliyah. Since then, these us: "There is nothing more whole – than a but not here, do not leave me here, where
persecuted Jews have gained their freedom broken heart." death is forgotten, and the new thing grins.
and re-joined us around the table. Today, an
empty place setting might be left for those
massacred and kidnapped in the war with
Hamas and those Israeli soldiers who fell in
defense of their homes and families.
LAKHMA
A Jew encounters at least two Aramaic be free, as a people and as human beings. In
texts in her/his life: The mourner’s Kaddish the Israeli Declaration of Independence, we
and the Haggadah’s opening festive committed ourselves to the ideal that Israel
declaration Ha Lakhma Anya, “This is the would be a state of free women and men
How different is this dark and dismal In 1956, many new kibbutzim were settled
night from every other night! How along the new Egyptian border next to Gaza.
strange and how bizarre is this world, In its first Haggadah, compiled and printed
in 1956, Kibbutz Nahal Oz, located on the
in this year, in this generation! What is Gaza border, modified the Four Questions
happening to us that human beings are as follows:
turning into malevolent, predatory animals?
What is happening to people whose On all other nights our ancestors
consciences in their chests are silenced? were slaves to Egypt subject to their
taskmasters.
How have we, our brothers, been
transformed in the eyes of our enemies But on this night we are free and we
- from fellow human beings, fellow are settled on the border of Egypt and
creatures of God, fellow mortals born now our own hands are ready to defend
to human mothers? our lives!
Why did we take up arms? For in every The name Nahal Oz means the Strong
other era, we did not have the spirit in us Outpost, but, painfully, on Oct 7, 2023,
to rise up and respond to our enemies in many of its members were massacred and
kind, but now we stand up in the gates kidnapped by Hamas.
of our towns to defend ourselves?
14 Arba Banim and Arba Banotn Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Four Contemporary Israeli educational approach or a child’s youthful every Jew there is a mob of Jews. The good Four Daughters, Israel 2024
Children revolt or his or her idealistic critique of Jew, the bad Jew. The new Jew, the old Jew. illustration by Racheli Shalev
the status quo. Recall that Elijah’s hopeful The lover of Jews, the hater of Jews. The
Today, as in the past, many Jewish families prophecy is that somehow he “will turn the friend of the goy, the enemy of the goy. The Israeli illustrator Racheli Shalev, known
feel the challenge of generational conflicts hearts of the parents to their children, and arrogant Jew, the wounded Jew. The pious for her depictions of motherhood in Israeli
around the definition of Jewish identity, the hearts of the children to their parents” Jew, the rascal Jew. The coarse Jew, the press, portrays the Four Daughters as
Jewish loyalty, and the pursuit of tikkun (Malachi 3:4) gentle Jew. The defiant Jew, the appeasing four phases in a woman’s life: The smart
olam/social justice. That parents necessarily Jew. The Jewish Jew, the de-Jewed Jew. “Hermione Granger” tween, the questioning
have different memories and experiences The Jew is a Dispute Incarnate Shall I go on? So I have to expound upon the and challenging teenager, the spiritual
than their children is the original reason for by Philip Roth Jew as a three-thousand-year amassment of seeker in her twenties to the adult mother
the Haggadah. It is natural, says the Torah, mirrored fragments . . . Is it any wonder that becoming herself an educator to her
that children will ask about the significance “WHY COULDN’T THE JEWS be one people? a Jew is always disputing? He is a dispute, daughter who doesn’t yet know how to ask.
of the Jewish commitments and rituals Why must Jews be in conflict with one incarnate.” (Operation Shylock, 1993) Shalev flips the usual hierarchy between the
central to their parents’ and grandparents’ another? Why must they be in conflict with children, starting with the wise child and
worldviews and practices. It is good though themselves? Because divisiveness is not ascending from there. Throughout the four
not unproblematic when children and just between Jew and Jew — it is within the daughters as throughout life’s changes and
parents inquire of each other about the gaps individual Jew. Is there a more manifold phases, healthy questioning remains a key
in perspective and values. Generationally personality in all the world? I don’t say element in a woman’s life.
divergent experiences of Israel in both North divided. Divided is nothing . . . But inside
America and Israel itself can be at the center
of such conversations if we allow ourselves
to be honest and open.
15 Arba Banim and Arba Bano Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Who is the Wise Israeli job, and I did my job. I think anyone would
Daughter? have done that.” Another reported: “You think
illustration by Michel Kichka about the civilians trapped in their homes and
text by Noam Zion the people that needed us. You understand
that there was no room for fear.”
16 Arba Banim and Arba Banotn Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Who is the First Wise We teach our children to do research, to be Who is the ‘Wicked’ Son, Who is the Wicked Child, or
Daughter? Eve, the First Start- curious, to observe and to learn. As venture Father? the Wicked Parent, Today?
up Entrepreneur capitalists funding innovative hi-tech By Franz Kafka
by Yoel Heshin companies, we seek out entrepreneurs with Families often encompass diverse opinions
a fierce desire to investigate, to develop, and “I could not understand how, with the on political, moral and religious issues,
When the woman saw that the tree was to do all that is necessary in their project insignificant scrap of Judaism you yourself including issues involving Israel. The
good for eating and a delight to the eyes, in order to bring it to the next level. We possessed, you could reproach me for not questions and discussions at the Seder
and that the tree was desirable as a source are project initiators whose own curiosity making an effort ... to cling to a similar, should respectfully include diverse voices,
of wisdom, she took of its fruit and ate. She motivates us to go forward and gives us a insignificant scrap. It was ... a mere nothing, but must stretch to allow honest expressions
also gave some to her husband, and he ate. reason to get up in the morning. Do we really a joke-not even a joke ... At home it was of disagreement. The Rabbis who composed
(Genesis 3:6) want to describe eating from the fruit of the ... confined to the first Seder, which more the text of the Four Children identified
Tree of Knowledge as a sin? and more developed into a farce, with fits certain kinds of alienation between Jewish
of hysterical laughter ... How one could do parents and their children as a threat to
The Torah tells us that Eve seduced Adam into anything better with that material than get rid Jewish continuity. As a result, they label
eating from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of it as fast as possible ... Precisely the getting some children as disloyal, as “wicked,” even
and marks her as the guilty one. But in my rid of it seemed to me to be the devoutest if we might prefer to call them rebels, critical
mind, Eve is the first start-up entrepreneur. action.” thinkers, or contentious adolescents. What
She is the researcher who tested the fruit and are our boundaries of legitimate debate
shared it with her husband. By virtue of her Franz Kafka’s Letter to His Father, Prague, Czechoslovakia, 1919. today? How can we bridge gaps or at least
curiosity, she refused to forgo an opportunity keep open a big tent of inclusivity among
and she went out to experiment. Therefore, Jews and where do we draw absolute red
she did not sin but rather expressed the lines, no to be crossed?
entrepreneurial spirit within her. She simply
interacted with the environment around her.
The identification of the start-up initiative of
the first woman, Eve, with a transgression, may
be the reason that the worldwide percentage
of women start-up entrepreneurs and VC
investors is so shamefully low. If we were to
praise Eve’s courage, her curiosity, and her
collegiality toward Adam, then we might create
a greater balance between the number of male
and female start-ups.
17 Arba Banim and Arba Bano Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
A Simple Girl’s Question: How On one Seder night in a suburb of Tel Aviv, are all destined to live as a free people in Tamar Elad-Appelbaim,
Can We, too, Go out of Egypt when I was a little girl of approximately Eretz Yisrael. But now you are sending the Rabbi and founder
Tonight? seven, our extended family, the Bouskilas, women to the kitchen? How will we too, of Kehilat Zion,
By Tamar Elad-Appelbaim originally from Morocco, gathered the whole family together, get to the land Jerusalem; founder
around the Passover table of my beloved of Israel?“ of the Beit Midrash
Moses replied to Pharaoh: “We will go [out grandparents, Saba Ya’ish and Savta Zari, for Israeli Rabbis, a
of Egypt, all of us] with both our children may they rest in peace. We began the Seder I asked the question of a simple child. The joint initiative of the
and our grandparents.” (Exodus 10:9) with great excitement, in song and in joy. question of a simple girl, a granddaughter. Hartman Institute
But the Seder got longer and longer, and Silence. Everyone went quiet. Then my and the Midrasha in
my grandfather noticed that everyone was beloved Saba Ya’ish arose and announced: Oranim.
growing tired, even though they had not yet “The girl is right. Just as then – so tonight,
finished the Maggid section of the Haggadah just as then - so also always, we will exit
and so we had not arrived at the meal, Egypt only when we are all together, the
Shulkhan Orekh. So he announced: “My whole family, and everyone helping until
sweet ones! There are some tired people we arrive!”
here, so let’s ask Savta, the daughters-in-
law, and the beloved granddaughters to go On that night in my grandparents’ home
to the kitchen to prepare the food, while the near Tel Aviv, the whole Bouskila family
rest of us complete the readings from the went out of Egypt. Together we finished
Haggadah. Thus we will succeed in speeding the Maggid portion of the Haggadah.
up a bit the Exodus from Egypt tonight.” Together we went to the kitchen. Together
we all helped. And together we merited to
Everyone thought the plan was very become free men and free women in Israel.
reasonable. Savta Zari got up and went That night we sang until the middle of the
to the kitchen. So too, my mother and my night – Hallel, the Song of Songs, songs
aunts. Now it was my turn, the oldest of the of praise and liturgical poems. On that
granddaughters, and all the other women night Saba Ya’ish and Savta Zari showed
were already in the kitchen. But suddenly, us the way to the land of Israel, the way of
I stood up, a little girl arrayed against the family togetherness, the way of moderation
Seder table, and I cried out: “No, Saba! and tolerance, the way of honoring God’s
My dear Saba, you taught me that on this creatures in humility, listening to one
night everyone went out of Egypt together. another and taking mutual responsibility
You taught me that we are all free and we for one another.
18 Arba Banim and Arba Banotn Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Our Mothers as Heroes: My At a traditional Ethiopian Passover Seder young without any formal education. My greet her with the honorary title, “Mother
Mother and Our Family’s Exodus (Kurban), it is the Qes (the Bete Israel mother recalls how great her excitement of Tzezew” (which was my name). Even
from Africa rabbi) who tells his son (“as if he went out was when she went off to school and how in the most economically stressful times,
by Ziva (Tezezew) Mekonen Degu of Egypt”) about the Biblical trek from her school years were the most beautiful my mother would never economize on our
Africa, to the land of Israel, from slavery and meaningful of her life. She felt privileged education.
“You shall tell your child on that day: ‘It is to freedom. But in our family, it is on Israeli as the only daughter in her family to be able
because of this that God did for me, when I Independence Day, Yom HaAtzmaut, that to study. Nevertheless, the extended family When I was 12 years old in eighth grade,
went out from Egypt.” (Exodus 13:8) my mother retells the tale of our real trek pressured my grandmother to marry off my we began to organize our illegal flight from
in 1984 from Ethiopia to Sudan and then mother at age 15 to a man who promised she the communist dictatorship in Ethiopia
Ziva Mekonen-Degu served as Executive Director of the to Israel. The hard trek! could go on learning. However, as a married through Sudan to Israel. My mother decided
Association of Ethiopian Jews between 2011-2019. She is woman with domestic responsibilities and to start her trek with six of her children,
a co-founder of “Mothers on Guard” an anti-racism activist From her story I learned about a mother’s soon children of her own, her dream of even without our father (who joined us
group calling for justice for young Ethiopian Israelis suffering courage and determination to protect every continuing her education evaporated. While later in Sudan), and she was accompanied
from police brutality. Born in Ethiopia, Ziva lives in Jerusalem single child from death and even, in times my mother mourned that lost opportunity by her mother and extended family. This
with her family. of crisis, not to give up. She demonstrated her whole life, she promised herself that, pilgrimage constituted her personal
for me the character traits necessary to come what may, her daughters would not Exodus to freedom, on foot, for hundreds
continue to lead our journey to freedom in suffer that discrimination, as she had. of kilometers, through a parched desert,
Israel and our campaign as activist mothers to fulfill her dream to go up to Jerusalem.
seeking to liberate every human being. Since her husband’s income did not suffice The daily march usually began at night, to
to pay for her children’s schooling in avoid the police and the heat. While three of
From my mother, whose Amharic name Ethiopia, my mother took on extra jobs as an our family were old enough to walk on our
is Tru Work Itzhak Adane, I learned about agricultural worker and then as a talented own (ages 9, 12 and 16) and my mother or
a parent’s obligation to advocate for seamstress for wealthy Christian women. my brother could carry our three-year-old
the education of one’s daughters even When I was born, the first daughter after brother on their backs, my mother had to
in the face of strong prejudices. My three sons, she sent me at age four to study hire two local guides to carry my 5 and 7
mother’s drive for education began when at a preschool conducted by a Christian year old brothers. After each night’s trek,
my grandmother, who was widowed at monk called Abba Yanta. He taught us the each morning my mother took her children’s
a young age, became landless and lost numbers and letters of ancient Geez and roll call, since she knew that some of our
the services of a husband to support her. modern spoken Amharic, as we gathered extended families had tragically lost track
Nevertheless, my grandmother decided to around the single available copy of the of relatives on the march.
send my mother, her youngest daughter, textbook. As a gift of appreciation, my
to school along with her brothers, unlike mother would send him her homegrown, As we approached the Sudanese border in
her older sisters who were married off very homemade corn mash, while he would a particularly dry desert area without water,
19 Arba Banim and Arba Bano Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
we were warned to go quickly throughout Then she commanded my oldest brother: youngest daughter, to go to school despite Today, as a mother myself who has earned
the night. Then the local smugglers took “Take grandmother’s horse, take this water, the discriminatory social conventions. Even an MA in Gender Studies and who leads
their leave of us, and we stumbled on, with and go bring back your brothers.” In the today my mother encourages each of us public advocacy organizations, l appreciate
heavy steps, exhausted by a hot wind and meantime, it grew dark, but my mother still – her already academically accomplished how my mother combined caring for family
thirsty, because our jerry cans were now refused to drink or eat anything. She was children and her grandchildren to keep on and leadership even without knowing a
empty. When all the families reached the waiting for her remaining children. I don’t studying. There is no week in which she single feminist theory. She is my hero.
thick bushes near the border, my mother remember the exact hour, but in the middle does not take an interest in my studies.
asked me, “Where are your younger of the night, my older brother arrived with
brothers?” I told her I had seen them under his missing younger brothers. My mother I feel that all my accomplishments were
a tree and told them to follow, but now they lamented: “I almost lost three of my sons!” earned through her merit. I internalized
had disappeared. My mother opened her Over the last week, we had lost Manaale from my youth that when you have
eyes wide in shock, but she could not say Genetu, aged three, her niece's daughter, the will, nothing can stop you, as long
anything. I remember her standing there, and Ayelign Avera, aged 40, her brother in- as you have faith in the Creator and in
with her hands on her hips, helpless, not law. Even now, forty years later we do not yourself. As the executive director of the
knowing what to do, looking back in the know what happened to them. Association for Ethiopian Jews (2010-2019),
direction from which we had come. Then the organization committed to change social
she sat down, hugging my 3 year-old At the end of this debilitating march, and policies and to combat racism in Israel, I
brother, and rocking him back and forth, after three more months in refugee camps in knew I could have an influence and change
as she tried to calm herself. Sudan, the Mossad took us by Hercules cargo reality by virtue of that faith and my mother’s
planes to Israel [in what was appropriately encouragement. We also established the
My older brother had gone out with other named Operation Moshe] arriving just one movement, “Mothers on Guard” to struggle
young boys to find some water for the week before Israeli Independence Day. Over to overcome police violence and prejudice
whole group, though the water was more time, the evening of Independence Day has against young males of Ethiopian parentage
mud than water. Still that water saved our become a traditional family gathering with and against all civilians. Before my eyes,
lives. My mother used a cloth to strain out a thanksgiving meal to thank the Holy One always, are the integrity, the faith and
the mud and gave us each a drink from my for uniting us and for the privilege to make the professionalism that characterize my
brother’s jerry can. But she did not take Aliyah in peace. Every single year, my mother mother.
a drink for herself, closed the top tightly, tells the story of her trek again, highlighting
placed it firmly under her legs, and refused how God rescued her children – Yael, Asher
Exodus of Ethiopian Jewry (1991) by Aliza Urbach, photographer.
to share its remainder even with her aunt: and Uri, as they are called in Hebrew. Of
“No, this is saved for my other children, [my course, we remember Grandma Wagaye
lost children], not for me!” Yitzhak who started the trek but did not
complete it and who allowed our mother, her
20 Arba Banim and Arba Banotn Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
B’KHOL ְ �ְבָּכָל
DOR VADOR דּ ֺֺור ָוָד ֹֹור
HAMATKHA
By my eyes which witnessed the remember. Instead, he pledges his eternal
slaughter righteous indignation lest we forget and
By my heart that was weighed down by lest we learn nothing from our experience
cries for justice with genocide.
By my compassion that taught me to
Shlonsky’s poem is quoted in the Kibbutz
ָ ֲחָמְָתְ ָך ֲ
To remember – nothing to forget!
Forget not one thing to the last
generation
Until my indignation shall be
drawing of an olive branch and a sword. 67
years later on October 7, 2023, many of the
kibbutz members, including several of the
original founders, now quite elderly, were
extinguished murdered, while many others were abducted
When the staff of my moral rebuke shall to Gaza as hostages by Hamas.
have struck until exhausted.
A vow: Lest for nothing shall the night Do Not Drink from the Cup of
“Pour out Your Wrath on of terror have passed. Bitterness
those who consume the A vow: Lest for nothing shall I return to by Dr. Martin Luther King, jr
people of Israel” my wont
Without having learned anything, even I must say to my people who stand on
this time. the warm threshold which leads into the
and “Pour out Your Love on palace of justice. In the process of gaining
the Righteous Gentiles who The Israeli poet Avraham Shlonsky our rightful place we must not be guilty of
composed “A Vow” for Pesach 1943 after wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy
rescue the Jewish people” reading early reports about the Nazi our thirst for freedom by drinking from the
extermination of European Jewry. Its cup of bitterness and hatred.
Hebrew name, “Neder” refers traditionally
to the Kol Nidrei ceremony promulgating
the official forgiveness of all unfulfilled vows
celebrate
While on other seder nights, the promise
Each year the youngest present at the seder of Spring and its renewal uplifts us, on this
asks, “How is this night different from all seder night we come to the table with mixed
other nights?” This seder night, following feelings. Some of us place an empty chair
Year?
will this seder night be different from all feel the ache for all those who have been
other seder nights?” killed, Jew and Muslim, and are suffering
due to the conflict. Longing and heartbreak
While on other seder nights, we retell the accompany us this seder night.
ancient story of our people’s liberation from
Egyptian bondage; on this seder night, we are For everyone hosting a seder, you are in a
keenly aware we are actors in Jewish history as unique position. You have the opportunity
it is unfolding. We may feel extra responsibility to invite your guests to become active
to make this Passover meaningful. participants in an ancient ritual that holds
the potential for healing, healthy discussion,
While on other seder nights, we welcome and hope. The seder table is the stage upon
different generations to attend our seders, which the ancient rite of retelling takes
m’kol dor va’dor (from generation to place. Friends, family, and guests are the
generation), on this seder night, we know actors. The Haggadah is our script. As you
that strong political differences can map prepare the stage for seder night, I invite you
onto generational divides. On this holiday to consider four conceptual frameworks to
of redemption, we may feel nervous about guide your preparation.
the differences in perspectives that feel
unredeemable.
29 A Guide for Parents and Familiess Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Framework 1: Framework 2: Framework 3: Learning how to ask generous questions
Set Intentions: Enable freedom within Tales of Resilience: Make space for elders Redemptive Questioning: Practice asking is a skill we can invite our seder-goers to
boundaries and their stories better questions practice. Encourage people to ask open-
ended questions like, “Who do you look up
As the convener you set the tone for the On all other nights we frontend seder Passover is the festival of questions. Slaves to? What inspires you about them?”, “What
evening. This takes place from the moment experiences that engage the children. and those in bondage can’t ask questions. brought you to that way of thinking?” or
you extend the invitation. By articulating your This seder night our path toward freedom Questions are the medium by which we “What is a different way of understanding
intentions for the evening you put your family is paved by a resilient spirit. Lessons in know we are a free people. Freedom carries this?” Learning to ask better questions can
and other guests at ease. The journey toward resilience are most readily learned from with it great responsibility. So many of us are help build a bridge with people around the
freedom invites full participation when there our elders. We need their voices and their not careful with how we speak, and what we table who feel hard to reach.
is structure. Just as children can express stories of how they have come out of Egypt ask. We may ask combative questions that
themselves freely when the boundaries over and over again. Draw out the lessons can put others on the defensive (e.g. “what
are clear, your guests will feel comfortable they learned from enduring adversity. Ask were you thinking?”) As journalist and radio
sharing openly when boundaries are set and the children to be the bridge to the elders personality Krista Tippett once wrote:
intentions are articulated. and have them ask the following questions
Toward the beginning of the seder share a or generate your own: “Questions elicit answers in their
few intentions (or in Hebrew, kavanot) to likeness…It’s hard to transcend a
encourage participation, questions, and ◊ Share a political or historical challenge combative question. But it’s hard to resist
mutual respect. To get the maximum amount you or your family has faced a generous question. We all have it in us
of buy-in, you can set two intentions and ask ◊ How did you overcome or deal with to formulate questions that invite honesty,
folks to share a third. Consider choosing an these challenges? dignity, and revelation. There is something
intention from this list, or choose one that is ◊ What is a lesson you have learned about redemptive and life-giving about asking a
more suitable to your setting. resilience that you wish you knew when better question.” (Krista Tippett, Becoming
you were young? Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art
◊ Speak in the first person about your of Living, pg. 30)
experiences and opinions
◊ Share from a place of authenticity - what
causes you pain and what brings you joy
◊ Agree to be awkward and know that your
contributions will be received with care
◊ Give everyone at the table the benefit
of the doubt
◊ Approach each other with curiosity
30 A Guide for Parents and Familiesys Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024
Framework 4: marked by discomfort. As you go through Our families, friends, and communities are Dasee Berkowitz is an executive facilitator, educator,
Celebrate Life: Elevate gratitude seder night, invite your guests to ask the contexts in which we work out our ideas and coach. She is also the author of Becoming a Soulful
questions about the texts in the supplement and ideals. Each person gathered around Parent: A path to the wisdom within. She can be reached
One of the hallmarks of resilient people and to bring their own perspectives. If your table is meant to be there. We need at daseeberkowitz.com
and the Jewish people as Resilient People, arguments start to brew, welcome them. everyone - young, old, opinionated, and
is a habit of gratitude. Gratitude can hold As the convener, if you find that a few passive alike. In a world of so much strife
space for loss even as we celebrate life. people are dominating the conversation, and division, you are a gatherer. Inclusivity,
The structure of the Haggadah, with the invite other people to join the discussion patience, and love will pave your way
placement of a short Hallel selection (or by saying, “I wonder if there are other forward.
psalms of gratitude) in the Magid (the perspectives...” Remember your role on
main section of the Haggadah) reflects the seder night is not to achieve world peace.
sensitivity that words of praise and gratitude Instead, it is to create an environment in
are always possible, even before we reach a which everyone can have an experience
redemptive ending. To paraphrase resilience that will soon turn into a memory. Ensure
researcher, Dr. Lucy Hone, that everyone around the table feels like
they are valued and belong.
“Don’t lose what you have to what you have
lost” (Dr. Lucy Hone, “The Three Secrets
of Resilient People,” TEDxChristchurch,
August 2019).
31 A Guide for Parents and Familiess Zion Solidarity Seder Supplement - Passover 2024