University of Maryland, College Park

Pearl Diving Assignment 1

Stephanie Tsitsiwu

Communication for Project Managers: ENCE424

Dr. Shana Webster-Trotman

February 15, 2024

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Introduction
Communication is the most important factor that determines how well two or more
people can work together. Every problem and solution must be driven by the vehicle of
communication. Failure to communicate is a failure to participate in this shared space we call a
society. The above claims are just a few of the conclusions I have come to so far in ENCE424. A
quote from George Bernard Shaw which was discussed in class states, “The biggest problem in
communication is the illusion that it has taken place,” so far we have had the opportunity to
unpack the various illusions in communication and work through how to bring clarity and
understanding. This collection of essays will synthesize the readings, in class discussions, videos
and group tasks, detailing what I have learned and how this new found knowledge will translate
into actions in the future.

Concepts from the Readings

There have been many techniques that have been discussed in the reading and during class
discussions. The following techniques are just a few of the concepts that I am practicing
applying:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Network
2. Polite Resting Face & Outward Perception
3. Identifying the Right Problem and Staying on Topic

The book, Networking for College Students and Graduates, really gets at the heart of the issue
that many people, myself included, have with networking. I have attended many career fair
events, coffee chats, and company information sessions and there is something so disingenuous
about networking. There is always a feeling like someone is watching your every move and you
have to put up a facade of a well polished up and coming professional to be taken seriously and
oftentimes that conversation ends with something along the lines of, “It was nice talking to you,
definitely apply online through our portal,” which can be frustrating and off putting especially
when the goal was to have a genuine connection. Networking for College Students and
Graduates does a great job of addressing these feelings toward networking and challenges the
audience to put aside their judgements and consider a new perspective. The statement, “ Give
Yourself Permission to Network”, stands out because it addresses the self limiting belief that I
have about networking and that is that I am restricting myself from networking because I want to
avoid the potential mundane exchanges often associated with that type of environment. Now that
I am aware and accept the error of this kind of thought pattern I have made it a point to engage in
a networking in a more conversational manner, not with the intent of getting anything but with
the intent of learning something new whether it be about the person I am speaking to, their
career, or to hear about their perspective of the event. This takes the pressure off and gives
everyone involved the permission to be themselves and foster a genuine connection. I am now
challenged to implement this new perspective in future networking experiences.

During our Week 3 in class discussion the topic of resting face came up. I thought this was a
relatable topic because I have been told several times whether it be at an event, or just in passing
that I have a resting face that causes people to feel like they shouldn’t approach me. Typically, I
just brush these comments off because I tend not to care too much about what other people think
of me and how I am perceived in public. But the in class discussion challenged me because

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Professor Trotman told a story about having an unwelcoming resting face in meetings and how
that can stifle communication. This was eye opening because I want to be the type of person that
people feel comfortable talking to and bringing concerns to, but if I outwardly present myself in
a way that works against that objective then I am not being effective in my non-verbal
communication, which is 55% of all communication. I think this also ties into the confidence
pose activity because how you present yourself while standing in front of a group has a direct
impact on how engaging your presentation will be. With this newfound perspective I have made
a conscious effort to have a pleasant expression on my face while I work and during meetings
and I try to position my body in a way that I feel confident to ensure that I am presenting
confidently and not sending a negative message unintentionally.

Chapter 3 of Crucial Conversations talks all about choosing the right topic to address in a
conversation where stakes are high, there are opposing opinions and emotions are strong.
Conflict resolution and problem solving often come with a tangled ball of problems and
identifying the right problem is most of the time the biggest task. In my experience in
professional and educational group work environments, I have noticed that many recurring issues
stem from not saying the quiet part out loud so that everyone can address the right issue.
Everyone might have their own idea about what the problem is and how that problem should be
solved, but until those thoughts are vocalized and made plain, true communication has not
happened. I have been having issues with this exact topic in the various project teams that I am a
part of and typically my approach is to stop the conversation and take a moment for everyone to
go around and say what it is they are thinking about the problem at hand. With everyone's ideas
out in the open we are able to discuss where our disagreements are and how we can all converge
to one shared vision. This seems to work well in professional and school settings. But I find that
in personal relationships it is more difficult to find the right topic to address, there is so much
more that goes into these types of conversations, and sometimes there are too many layers and
unpacking everything seems like too much effort. One quote from chapter 3 that stood out to me
was, “If you worry about the how while trying to be honest about the what, you’ll be tempted to
water down your message,” this stands out because in the past I have fell into this temptation of
watering down the message to avoid the negative results and to combat that temptation I went in
the opposite direction and just started saying the “honest” thing that I was feeling in the moment,
which had varying results as well. I think what I was missing in this situation was wisdom and a
system. Chapter 3 presents a good system for unbundling conversations so that you know what
action to take next, the 3 categories are content, pattern, and relationship. Practicing the skill of
identifying the type of issue as either a content issue that can be solved by immediate correction,
a pattern of behavior that needs to be address with a one on one conversation centered on
empath, or a relationship issue that needs to be addressed for harmony and peace is one that I
will start implementing in my personal life.

These 3 techniques stood out to me because they answered certain questions that I had never
vocalized like, “Why do people keep asking me if I’m okay, I haven’t said anything?” or “How
can I network authentically?” or even “Why do I never feel like the issue I wanted to discuss has
been addressed?” These are all questions that I have had at one point or another and I now have
the answers and tools that I can use to face these issues head on.

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LinkedIn Connections
Below is a list of all the Linked in connections that I have made:
1. Jane Gorman
2. Christopher Hopper
3. Meg Jordan
4. Devin Usal
5. Maya Filipovitz
6. Matthew Mariano
7. Leilani McAdams
8. Sebastian Batanero
9. Heather Horowitz
10. Liam O’Donoghue
11. Antoinette Uzamere
12. Ellen Lambert
Outside of connecting with classmates, professors and professionals via LinkedIn, I have
practiced learning my classmates' names in class. I think remembering people's names is an
important networking skill. Learning the names of the people in our class is a simple way to
practice the act of putting a face to a name and engaging with classmates in a way that feels more
personal. When networking with people my goal is always to be authentic and build a connection
rather than just speaking to as many people as possible and I have noticed that when I remember
people's names building that connection and maintaining that authenticity is much easier.

I have also increased my networking abilities by practicing my elevator pitch and confidence
stance in class. During almost every session there is a time where we get to introduce ourselves
to our peers in small groups or to the entire class. This opportunity has given me a low stakes
environment to practice telling people my full name a little bit about myself and has helped me
get over the initial awkwardness and anxiousness associated with public speaking. I have noticed
that in other classes I no longer have a problem contributing to the class discussion and I can
very easily introduce myself without it feeling foreign.

Lastly, one thing that I have practiced doing in class is remembering facts about the people who I
generally sit with in class. This practice gives more opportunities for further networking and
conversation in the future. I have noticed that I have more to ask people about and our in class
interactions seem less mundane.

DISC Personality Assessment

Figure 1. on the right depicts the results I
received after completing the Dominance,
Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness
(DISC) assessment. I am not surprised that
Dominance is 56% of my personal score. The
personality model describes Dominance as, “the
way you deal with problems, assert yourself
and control situations.” and I would agree that I
tend to, “have a strong inner motivation to

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assertively create and implement new ideas” while also, “[handling] pressure well - and
[striving] for excellence and expect[ing] others to do the same.” I am currently taking the
Mechanical Engineering Capstone course which serves as the culmination of everything we have
learned while pursuing this degree. This is a group project and I have noticed that I have taken
on a leadership role by leading group discussions, facilitating brainstorming sessions and
articulating a clear vision for our group to follow during group work sessions. I like to take a
systematic approach to problem solving and I am energized when I see that our group is moving
in a positive direction based on the plan that I took the lead in facilitating and crafting. One area
that I need to work in is the influence category. The personality model describes influence as,
“the way you deal with people, the way you communicate and relate to others.” This is one area
that I have not focused on much and I feel like it has a lot to do with peoples personal opinions
of you which I try not to dwell on or care about which is probably why it is one of the lowest
portions of the pie chart. I am now learning that management and leadership have a lot to do with
influence. In Five Stars, Carmine Gallo makes the claim that, “If you can persuade, inspire, and
ignite the imagination of others, you will be unstoppable, irresistible, and irreplaceable.” and
from observing mentors and role models who have leadership positions I have found this claim
to be true. Having self awareness of my personality type puts into words the behavior patterns
that I have noticed and is the first step in improving in areas that I think would be beneficial.

Conflict Management Styles Assessment

I have taken this conflict management style assessment in the past so I was interested to see if
anything has changed since the last time I took it. My results were similar with Competing being
my preferred conflict management style with Collaborating coming in close second. The conflict
management style that I would like to improve on is Compromising because it is key in gaining
influence and inspiring others to the shared vision. I plan to practice this conflict management
style by taking inventory of my team members perspectives to ensure that the solution that is
reached is one that everyone is content with.

To dive deeper into my preferred conflict management style of Competing I think it is important
to lay out the benefits and shortcomings of this conflict style. In my experience competing in
conflict leads to the best possible outcome because everyone comes to the conflict with their
reasons as to why the conflict occurred and how best to solve it and the person with the most
persuasive argument is able to clearly articulate a clear path forward. But this only works if
everyone is competing but also willing to concede to the best solution. Typically this is my
approach to problem solving; when there is a group discussion about the best solution I often lay
out my thoughts about the issue and what I think we should do next, then ask other group
members what their thoughts are and ask clarifying questions, I often find myself asking my
team members to “sell their ideas” to the group and convince us to buy in. I used this style of
conflict management recently when my Capstone group was trying to decide on one central
concept for our design and noticed that this got my team members to think in a way that required
concrete evidence rather than just feelings and preferences.

On the other hand I can see how this Competing conflict style can lead to people shutting down
and feeling like they aren’t being heard in a conversation. There is a tendency for people with a
competing conflict style to feel like they are always right and always have the best ideas, which
is obnoxious and can lead to negative team dynamics of gossip and reduced participation in

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group discussion. I find that the competing conflict management style has hindered more of my
personal relationships; one time I was having a disagreement with my sister about a chore and
because I saw the conflict as right vs wrong I refused to see the issue from her perspective
because I believed I was the most right in the situation and she was the most wrong. This led to
even more conflict and in the end the conflict did not get resolved in a way everyone felt heard
and understood.

The “Contributing to the Pool of Shared Meaning” technique discussed in Crucial Conversations
is one that I will start to implement into my conflict management style. In many of the conflicts
that I engage in there is often the fool's choice where I believe I only have the two options of
being right or wrong or even having the best idea or the worst idea. I am learning to combat this
mindset by viewing conflict as a gap and the only way to fill that gap is to contribute to the pool
of shared meaning where everyone's thoughts are shared and everyone has a common
understanding. By integrating this new technique I will be able to better see where other people
are coming from and better gauge other people's reactions to my contributions.

Jung Personality Assessment

Upon completion of the Jung Personality test I was assigned the Introvert Sensor Thinker Judger
(ISTJ) personality type. This personality type can best be summarized as someone who likes to
get stuff done and is dedicated to producing excellent results. This personality type can also be
someone who likes to compartmentalize their life into work, “third space” activities and home
and prefers to keep their personal life private. Overall I was not surprised when I received these
results. I would describe myself this way in an interview or networking setting. And I think these
results overlap with the results I received from the DISC assessment. I was surprised by the
sensor attribute, it was described as someone who lives in the present, I would not describe
myself that way, however as I get closer to graduation and entering a new chapter in my life I am
starting to lean in more to that mindset and take every day one at a time.

The Jung results also said that I am an introvert who tends to be reserved and private and draws
energy from my own thoughts and time spent alone. I agree strongly with this assertion because I
find myself getting the most work done and having the most insightful creative moments when I
am alone. In a group setting I tend to be the person organizing the event, setting up/ cleaning up
and facilitating various activities. The results also said that I am the type of person who makes
decisions using logic and impersonal analysis, and I also agree with this assertion; impersonal
and systematic decision making helps to avoid personal conflict in teams. Lastly, the results said
that I was a judger, and at first I was taken aback but this attribute is described as someone who
likes a life that is organized and controlled, and I fully agree with this. I need an organized
environment in order to work effectively and when I am in a space that is disorganized I find
myself seeking to bring order in the chaos.

Some of the challenges that I have faced with this personality type is my ability to connect on a
deep level with other people. All four of the attributes presented in the results describe a person
that is very content within themselves, and I find that I often listen to other peoples experiences
and seek to learn more about others and rarely share anything deeply personal about myself. This
is fine when it comes to professional and academic situations but in personal relationships being
more open about your life is how people are able to connect with you and support you and I

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notice that I have a challenge with being open. This is an area that I hope to improve in and gain
valuable skills that I can practice by the end of my time in this class.

Conclusion

As I reflect on the content that has been covered so far in this course I am reminded of
communications importance in every interaction. Communication whether it be written, verbal,
or body language play a key role in building an individual brand and presenting oneself in the
best possible way.

I have learned that personality types are the mode through which communication is encoded. As
someone who is Introverted and also has Dominance as the highest personality factor, how I
communicate will look different from someone who identifies as Extroverted and Influence as
their highest personality factor. Being able to fine tune the benefits of each personality type and
identify and reduce the negatives is something I am excited to learn more about as the semester
progresses.

I have also learned that my conflict management style is closely connected to my personality
type. Being a dominant type who likes systems and order and someone who likes to compete in
conflict resolution does explain a lot about why I am the way I am. Overall these assessments
were insightful and I enjoyed getting to learn a little bit more about myself

Learning about the subtleties of body language was also insightful. Learning that body language
and non verbal cues made up 55% of communication really put in perspective for me the
importance of being mindful of my outward expressions. Body language plays such an important
role in building a personal brand because it ties directly into first impressions and more
importantly lasting impressions. The quote from week 3 from Peter Drucker states in part that, “
The best communicators are sensitive to the power of emotions and thoughts communicated
nonverbally,” my goal in this class is to leave a positive lasting impression by practicing the
skills that I have learned so far and being sensitive to the emotions and thoughts of others that are
communicated nonverbally.

I have learned how to identify the right problems through reading in Crucial Conversation and
have been equipped with the tools and language to approach any high stakes emotional
conversation in a way that maintains respect among everyone involved. By unbundling and
categorizing conversations into content, pattern or relationship conversations I am now better
able to identify the core issues that need to be addressed and can overcome the temptation of
avoiding the difficult conversation.

I can already see the benefits that this class is having on my daily interactions, I am
communicating more effectively and creating space for others to communicate as well. I can
imagine that the skills I gain in this course will add to my professional credibility and equip me
with the tools I need to be an effective communicator, who is empathetic, and solves conflicts
while maintaining mutual respect. I am excited to see my growth as the semester continues.

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References
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial conversations.
McGraw-Hill Contemporary.
Faulkner, M., Nierenberg, A. (2017) Networking for College Students and Graduates.
Pearson Learning Solutions.
Gallo, C. (2018). Five Stars : The Communication Secrets to Get from Good to Great. Pan
Books.

Personality Assessment Results:

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