Treacherous

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/46269895.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Stray Kids (Band)
Relationship: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Characters: Hwang Hyunjin, Seo Changbin
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Swearing, Cheating, Established Lee Felix/Seo
Changbin, Established Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Established
Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Know, Hyunho Have An Open Relationship For
Minsung, I Literally Looked Up The Lyrics Of Unholy and Took Notes,
If You Have Morals You Probably Won't Be Changbin's Biggest Fan, lots
of kinks, Minor Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Top Seo Changbin, Bottom
Hwang Hyunjin, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse, No Actual
Alcoholism Though He Just Has A Rough Day, It Gets Sad For A
Minute But There's A Happy Changjin Ending
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-04-12 Completed: 2023-04-14 Words: 16,078 Chapters:
12/12
 Treacherous
by TheDarkOne519

Summary

Changbin is the perfect family man: loving husband, two beautiful and smart children, huge
house, and a high-paying job where he uses his checks to lavish them with gifts. He loves his
life and everything in it and showers his family in love and support.
However, he's been hiding a secret: he's been hooking up with Hyunjin for over a year.
When Hyunjin gives the men in his life an ultimatum, Changbin has to make a decision that
changes his life forever.

Notes

This was inspired (at least in the beginning) by "Unholy" by Sam Smith and Kim Petras. I
actually intended it to be much shorter and end on an unsatisfying, "so they're still doing the
same horrible things" note (specifically, chapter 3 is where it stopped for a few days) but I
had more ideas.
I wrote this with the intention that the reader will hate Changbin (though when it was a WIP I
wasn't planning on posting any of my fics yet). Beware of that. In reality, I'd say I'd never
want to ever be around him. In fiction? Getting into the mind of someone like that who is
quite the horrible person was extremely fun to write... we all know Changbin IRL is so sweet
and the best, this is not meant to be a dig to him at all.
I'd say this is the most morally corrupt fic I've ever written, at least in terms of cheating. "All
I See Is Red Lights" isn't this level, in my opinion. It's based in a horrible, pitiful amount of
shameless infidelity. The story is not 100% that way, though. There is a real plot/conflict
though there is a happy Changjin.
I'm not claiming either of them are good people and I also don't condone any actions in this
story.
It's a mess, but it's a mess I can't help but love.
An (*) in the chapter title indicates smut/ explicit sexual content.
Thank you for reading!
 Make It Worth It*
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Welcome home, baby."

"Thanks, baby. What's for dinner?"

"I made carbonara."

"Very nice." Changbin gives Felix a kiss on the cheek then places his suitcase down under the
entrance table in the foyer.

"Welcome home Daddy!"

"Yea, hey Binnie!"

"Hey Jisoo, Hansol, how was school?"

"It was so fun!" Jisoo says. "I got an A on my math timetables!"

"I got an A on my spelling test!"

"Good job, you two! You deserve a gift. What would you like?"

"I want the new racing game that just came out!"
"I want a new tablet."

"Lixie."

"I'll get on it."

Changbin opens his arms up for the boys to run in, giving them a massive bear hug.

"Go clean up, boys, dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

"Okay Lixie."

"Okay Dad."

They scurry up the nearby spiral staircase as Changbin walks over to Felix, wrapping an arm
around his waist. "You're so amazing, Bok."

"I know. You're pretty great yourself."

Changbin places a kiss on Felix's neck, leaving it for a few seconds before releasing.

"If dinner's good do I get a reward?"

"Always, baby. You're so good to me."

"You're so good to me, Bin."

"I do what I can. Also, remember I need to stay late tomorrow. I have a meeting with some
investors. It'll be so boring."
"I'm sure. You've been having so many of those lately. That's the struggle of being a corporate
man, huh?"

"I guess. I'll be thinking about you the whole time, baby."

"Of course." Felix turns back to wrap his arms around Changbin's shoulders, pulling him in
for a kiss when the kids scurry back down to the kitchen.

"Food!"

"Sit on down, boys." Felix faces Changbin again as the excited voices echo and fill the room.
"Let's eat."

"I'm… I'm gonna…" Changbin moans, his voice shaking and breath irregular as he's
thrusting in and out. "Uggggh…" He groans as he finally releases, collapsing and sliding out
as he falls to the side and onto the bed. "You're so fucking perfect, Jinnie."

"I know." Hyunjin says as he turns on his side to give Changbin a peck on the lips. "When
you have to leave?"

"I told him I'd be home around 7."

"So… another hour?"

"Yea."

"We better make it worth it, then." Hyunjin seductively whispers as he leans in closer.
"Absolutely." Changbin grabs the back of Hyunjin's neck, shoving him forward and licking
along his lips for entrance.

"God I love your tongue." Hyunjin says in a raspy whisper.

"I love how it makes you so fucking weak, baby."

"Ya know… I can do things with my tongue, too."

"Believe me, I know. It's magic."

Hyunjin smirks as he kisses Changbin, climbing on top just to slide down his naked body and
trail kisses along his smooth skin. He stops at Changbin's nipple, giving it a light flick with
his tongue. He suctions his lips around it, alternating between sucking, licking, and biting as
Changbin writhes underneath him, rutting against Hyunjin's chest.

"Fuck baby… you're gonna… make me…"

"Three times in one day?"

"You do shit to me, Jin."

Hyunjin gets back to it, adding pressure to his nipple with the edge of his tongue just to
remove himself and let a small drop of saliva drip onto it. Hyunjin uses his tongue to lather it
while Changbin makes loud, embarrassing whines.

"You're so fucking good."

"I love your chest. I love it even more when my come is dripping off it."

"Come here, you slut." He pulls a grinning Hyunjin up by the hair, smashing their lips
together as his hand drifts down to Hyunjin's dick, slowly palming it. Hyunjin's mouth opens
against his mouth. "Want to fuck my chest?"
"Please."

Hyunjin's pushed off by Changbin to let him sit on his lap, Changbin laying on his elbows
and leaning back as far as he can with his back slanted to give him a good angle. Hyunjin
strokes himself for a moment, sliding his cock along the crevice between Changbin's
squished pectorals and rubs his shoulder with his hand.

"You're gorgeous."

"Shut up, old man." Hyunjin starts swaying his hips back and forth, letting the skin of
Changbin's chest wrap around the edge of his dick and add friction. Hyunjin wastes no time,
putting his own hand on top and aggressively pressing it down; his head flies back.

"You already there, baby?"

Hyunjin can hear in Changbin's voice that he's smirking and amused. He doesn't care.

"You're so fucking hot."

He goes for a few more thrusts, his breath now stalling, and he lifts up his dick to start
harshly and quickly stroking himself.

"Come on me, Jinnie." Changbin's hand slides up his own abs, landing on the nipple Hyunjin
was licking earlier and starts rubbing it with his finger, letting his mouth open and a moan
escape his lips as high-pitched whines leave Hyunjin's.

Suddenly, a white string shoots onto Changbin's chest, Hyunjin slowly catching his breath.
Once he does, Hyunjin leans down to rub his fingers through the liquid, all over Changbin's
chest, giving extra attention to his abs and hard, hot pink nipple.

"Your body's a fucking wonderland, Binnie. It's all mine."

 "I'm all yours, baby."

"It's a shame you have to go back to being the perfect family man."

"You're the best part of my week, Jin. Don't worry."

"I'm here whenever you want me."

He takes Hyunjin by the shoulder and pulls him down for a kiss. "Felix could never be you."

Chapter End Notes

The idea of tiny Joshua and Vernon is so sweet.

 Destress*

Changbin comes in the front door like he would any other day. Felix is relaxing on the couch
with the kids.

"Hey Jagi."

"Hey Lix."

"Hey Dad!"

"Hey!"

"Hey guys." Changbin comes over after placing his suitcase down at its usual spot and comes
to rustle their hair from behind the couch. "Good day at school?"

"Yea, it was nice."

"It was good."

"Great." He looks down at his watch like he doesn't know exactly what time it is. "Oh gosh,
I'm even later than I said I'd be. I'm so sorry boys. I'll make it up to you this weekend."

"It's okay Dad. Wanna go to the park?"

"Yea, maybe we can get ice cream too!"

"That sounds lovely."

"Now, until then," Felix interrupts, "you boys need to get a good night's sleep. You did your
homework and had your playtime and it's time to rest."

"Do we have to Dad?"

"Yea, Lixie, do we have to?"

"Yes, boys." Felix gets up just to give them both kisses on the foreheads, earning disgusted
noises from them both. Changbin can't help but giggle.

"It's bedtime."

"Fine. Good night, daddies!"

"Night!"

They run upstairs as Felix comes over nonchalantly to Changbin. "How you doing?"

"Fine."

"How was the meeting?"

"A lot. It went on and on and it was so exhausting." He adds an eye roll for dramatic effect.

"I'm sorry, my love. How about we… I don't know…" Felix takes a gentle hold of Changbin's
tie, uselessy flattening it out. "... destress you a bit?"
"I suppose that wouldn't hurt."

"Get your thick ass upstairs."

Changbin phone chimes as he and Felix are in the bathroom, naked and spitting out their
toothpaste at their respective sinks.

"Go on to bed, Lixie, I'll be back in just a moment. I need to respond to an email."

"What? Why? It's so late." He sulks.

"It won't be but a minute. They told me to look out for one later tonight. It's 'urgent'." He
raises his eyebrows, air quoting the last word.

"It never stops."

"It should calm down soon. Once we get them on board we'll be set."

"Of course. I'll be waiting, Jagi." Felix kisses Changbin on the cheek as he walks past him
back to bed.

Changbin throws on a pair of underwear and heads down the hall to his home office.

Hwang

Urgent

Me
Hey baby

What's up?

Hwang

I just want to hear your voice

Me

You're so needy for me baby

Something going on?

Hwang

I'm all alone in bed

I'm so lonely

You were so good

Me

I know

You were the best

You're always the best love

Can you talk?

Hwang

Can you?

Me

For a minute
Felix is going to bed

I was going to as well before you texted me

Hwang

You guys fuck?

Me

Of course

We always do when I "stay late"

Hwang

Tell me what he did

Calling "Hwang".

"Hey."

"Hey beautiful."

"So?"

"I came home, the kids went to bed, he said he needed to destress me since I stayed later than
usual."

"You worked so hard today."

"I did my best for you, baby. We took off our clothes and he pushed me on the bed. He gave
me such a good blowjob and I came so fucking quick. It was almost embarrassing. His lips
just felt so fucking good around my cock."

"Did they?"

"Yea, baby. Amazing."

"Anything else?"

"I told him a good form of stress relief would be to fuck me. He played it safe, condom and
lube for easy cleanup, but went so hard. He gripped my hips so hard he left marks."

"It's a shame I can't do that to you."

"I know."

"But it's more fun that way."

"Are you touching yourself, Jinnie?"

"Yea… it doesn't feel as good but fuck is it nice."

"Imagine I'm your hand, you can feel the ridges of my mouth…"

"Yes… "
"I go too far down, gagging myself on your cock, and I start grinding against your leg."

"Yea?"

"And I rub my fingers along your perfect skin, I'm moaning your name while I'm wrapped
around your dick, licking stripes along it as your body tenses. Your moans get louder -"

"Fuck -"

"I love you."

A moan of relief radiates through the line, a moment of silence breaking the moment.

"I'm sure you look so perfectly fucked out right now, baby."

"Just for you, Daddy."

"Bye Jinnie. I'll see ya later."

"Bye bye."

Delete text conversation?

Yes.

Changbin climbs back into bed, Felix waking up just enough to roll over and cuddle into him.
"Lixie?"
"Hm?"

"Want me to return the favor?"

"Hm? What you mean?" His voice is so raspy and deep; it only turns Changbin on more.

"I want to feel you." Changbin gives his sleepy Felix a kiss on the lips and slides down under
the covers, pulling his flannel pajama pants down to let his dick spring free. His mouth
quickly engulfs it.

"Fuck Bin…"

"Is this okay?"

"Yes. Don't stop, keep going."

"I need another destresser."

"Use ah -... use me, Jagi."

"You're so pretty."

Felix pokes the top of his head. Changbin comes up to his lips just to be brought in for a
kiss.

"I love you Bin."

"I love you."

"Round two. Now."

 What's Your Name?

Changbin is at his desk, typing away on his keyboard when his boss comes in.

"Seo."

"Park."

"What you up to?"

"My job."

"Well… glad to hear it. Since it's finally Friday, would you like to join us out for drinks later?
You've missed the last several."

"I'll be good, thank you though."

"Oh come on. All work and no play -"

"Believe me, I play."

Mr. Park purses his lips and nods. "Okay. Well, if you change your mind we'll be at the usual
place."

"Okay, thanks."
Just as Mr. Park turns away, he realizes Felix will be gone to his grandparents' house with the
kids to visit and Hyunjin said he'll be busy.

His coworkers aren't that bad…

"Park?"

"Yea?"

"Actually, I'll join you."

"Great! See ya there at 5:30." He smiles as he walks out of Changbin's office and shuts the
door.

"He's lucky I hate being alone." He mumbles as he goes back to his computer.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Seo."

"Why thanks."

Seungmin leans over to Changbin's ear after he gets to the bar. "Gonna find you another
fling?"

"Shut the fuck up. Felix and I are exclusive."

"Yea, you're exclusively cheating on him."

"I told you to shut up."

"What? You met your side piece here that one time. How long has that been going on now? A
year? Year and a half? I don't even remember."

Changbin turns and bumps Seungmin's chest to get in his face. "I told you to shut up."

"You're doing this to yourself. You're not secret about it. You were a whore in school before
Felix, even while you were dating."

"Who cares?"

"Apparently not him, he had such a massive fucking crush on you he ignored all the rumors.
He should've never believed a single word out of your dick-sucking mouth. Nothing changed
with a ring. You just take it off."

"Get the -" He sees a familiar figure in his peripheral vision and he stalls.

"What? See your next conquest?"

"Shut up. Leave me alone."

"As you wish, Bin."

"We're not friends, don't call me that."

"I can call you whatever I want, baby. You know, if you wanted peace, you fucked up picking
me." Seungmin takes a sip of his drink, turning back to the bar to grab another.
Changbin rolls his eyes then turns back to the silhouette.

Minho.

Minho is Hyunjin's plaything.

They've been fucking around for as long as Changbin and Hyunjin have but they're on and
off; they have an open relationship of sorts, basically allowing each other to have sex with
anyone they want but the two of them stay consistent. Minho frequently hits up his ex-
boyfriend, Jisung.

It's like Hyunjin and Changbin's arrangement… if you ignore Changbin's marriage.

Changbin takes a sip as he watches, quickly confirming why he's there.

Hyunjin.

They must've had a date. That's why he couldn't hang out.

He watches as Hyunjin grabs his waist, leans against his ear, and Minho smiles.

When Hyunjin backs up, Minho grabs either cheek and pulls him in for a messy kiss, one
hand quickly gliding along his flawless skin and snaking under Hyunjin's shirt around his
waist, the other grabbing his ass.

This isn't a gay bar but everywhere is gay where Hyunjin is. He makes everyone thirsty and
lose control, not caring if people are around.

That's how Changbin got so careless when they met.

Changbin can see a bit of his toned lower stomach; his mouth is already watering. He's
sipping his whiskey, canceling out the rest of the world around him. He's watching his man
get hit on by someone he knows he'll be fucking by the end of the night.
It turns him on.

Changbin scans around the room for anyone who catches his eye. He eventually comes
across a guy standing relatively alone who looks a little young but he's still attractive.
Changbin's not that old, still mid-twenties, he just settled down early and feels thirty years
older than he is.

Changbin takes one giant gulp to empty his glass and excuses himself from his colleagues to
go to the restroom. As he's walking past the guy, his hand lightly grazes his lower back,
causing him to follow Changbin with his eyes. Changbin winks at him, making his way to the
back door.

The guys actually follows.

"Hey." Changbin says, grinning against a wall as the boy comes over.

"Hey."

"What's your name?"

"Jeongin. Yours?"

"Changbin. How old are you?"

"21."

"Are you gay?"

"I'm mainly with girls but I'm down with guys."

"Wanna fuck?"

His eyes widen immensely, obviously very caught off guard. "You're wasting absolutely no
time."

"No. I'm horny and you're cute."

"... Okay."

"Okay?"

"Let's go."

"My place or yours? I don't want to stay here."

"I have roommates, let's do yours."

"Roommates?"

"I'm in university."

"What for?"

"Medicine."

"Oh, so you're smart too." Changbin takes a hand, places it on Jeongin's cheek and kisses his
other one. "Let's go then." A smirking Changbin takes Jeongin's hand and leads him out to
the back to get to the parking lot. "I'll bring you back here, is that alright? Or would you
rather follow?"

He unlocks his new Audi and Jeongin grins.

"You can take me."

"Jump in then."

Changbin and Felix are snuggled up on the couch; the kids are asleep, the lights are out, the
TV is on. Felix flips the news on after their movie ends to see what's new before bed.

"I can't believe you even watch the news. You have TikTok."

"I know. I like to bore myself to sleep sometimes."

Changbin chuckles as he pulls Felix closer into him.

A news story of a personality blowing up on the internet for cheating on his wife with an
employee comes on.

"Can you believe these men? How many more cheating scandals are there going to be? First
it's what's his name now this. And can you believe they were at it for a year? That's fucking
ridiculous."

"I know, baby." Changbin kisses Felix on his temple.

"You know how serious I am when I say if I ever found out you were cheating on me I'd
leave you so fucking fast. You're smart enough to know if I even question you've got your
dick near someone else I'm gone."

"I know, baby. I could never. You're perfect. You're everything I could ever want."

"I know. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone else, Jagi."

Changbin lifts his chin up with a finger and kisses him on the lips. "You're the only one for
me baby. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

 A Serious Question

"Welcome back, Daddy." Hyunjin says, smiling as he gestures Changbin into his apartment.

"Hey baby." Changbin wraps his arm around his waist, pressing his chest into Hyunjin's and
their lips meet. "You're gorgeous."

"Shut up." Hyunjin pushes him off, leaving Changbin grinning at the ground. "What's that?"

"It's for you." Changbin hands over the white bag with a black Chanel logo.

"You didn't have to. You got me something just a couple weeks ago."

"A happy Jinnie is a happy Binnie."

Hyunjin pulls him in for a quick kiss and takes the handles. He walks over to the couch and
Changbin follows along, sitting down next to him. He opens it and Changbin rests his hand
on Hyunjin's inner upper thigh.

"Oh my god, it's beautiful. And it feels so nice." He takes out the top half of the white robe,
rubbing along the fabric with his hands.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I'm surprised you're still finding new things to buy. My closet looks like a Nordstrom."

"You deserve it all and I'm gonna give it to you."

"Wait… what's this?" He scrunches his eyes as he pulls out a bottle. "Isn't this a few million
won?"

"Yea. I figured we could drink it tonight."

Hyunjin places them on the table in front of them then leans over to give him a kiss. "Thanks
Daddy."

"Anything for you. I love pampering you." Changbin dives into Hyunjin's neck; his mouth
falls open and tilts in response as Changbin takes his hand and lays it over Hyunjin's crotch.

"So there was no reason for this?"

"Not a big one."

"A big one?"

Between responses, Changbin plants gentle kisses along his skin. "How was Minho?"

Hyunjin chuckles against him. "How'd you know?"

"I saw you last night. I went out with my coworkers."

"Are you broken?"

"I know, I had a horrible time, but I saw you two. I thought about how you were going to get
absolutely wrecked later and I had to devise a plan."
"And what was that plan?"

"I found someone for myself."

His eyes turn to Changbin, wide open. "You did?"

"Yea."

"But…"

"But what?"

"I thought I was the only one you were cheating on Felix with?"

"Is there a problem?"

"No."

"You sure? Sounds like you have a problem."

"No it's fine."

"You can't be jealous, Jinnie," Changbin places another peck, "you have a literal fucking
boyfriend. You hook up with a different guy every week."

"Minho and I have an arrangement, you know that, and no I don't. I don't fuck around much
anymore."
"No? You catching feelings for him?"

"No."

"Yea, sure." Changbin lines a wet lick up the artery in his neck, making him shiver. "Feel
good?"

"Yea."

"You didn't answer the question."

"What was it?" Hyunjin moans.

"How… was… Minho?"

A slight nibble makes Hyunjin's breath hitch. "Good. How was yours?"

"Good… but he's not you."

"No?"

"No one's as good as you, Jinnie. No one makes me feel the way you do."

A moment of silence passes; the only sounds luming in the air are the kisses and sloppy
noises of Changbin's tongue.
"Can I ask a serious question?"

Changbin detaches and makes eye contact. "What is it?"

"You say these kinds of things to me all the time."

"So?"

"So… why don't you break up with him?"

"Why would I do that?"

"You've been cheating on him for… what…" he stops to count on his fingers, "seventeen
months now? That's a long ass time."

"I love him."

"Then why are you with me?"

"I told you, Jin, I'm thirsty for you." Changbin goes back in on Hyunjin's neck, gently
sucking and nibbling.

"But people don't cheat on people they love."

"You're cheating on Minho with me."

"Then Minho's cheating on me with his ex-boyfriend. Someone he used to love and still
loves. I know I'm not number one to him."

Changbin pulls away to look at him again. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just… uh... forget it."

"No, come on. We talked about this."

"I know. That's why I'm telling you to drop it."

Changbin searches Hyunjin's face for any indication of what he's thinking; he can't help but
think there's a hint of sadness, desperation.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Hyunjin stares into Changbin's eyes for a moment. "I'm sure. I want you here."

Changbin gives him a cautious kiss. "Still want to go to bed?"

"I want to try this hilariously expensive alcohol."

"Okay, whatever you want, baby."

They're laying in bed under the covers and Changbin watches Hyunjin as he sleeps, as his
chest rises and falls.

He glances over to the tiny mole under his eye, his plump lips are just barely parted as his
breath ever so slightly escapes.

He takes in how beautiful he is.

He could never leave Felix.

Ever.

Felix was his high school sweetheart, started dating their junior year. They got married right
out of high school. Changbin started a paid internship with a business just to work his way up
in a few years. He and Felix started the foster parent process just to fall in love with two
young brothers and they all decided to become an official family, adopting them soon after.

He loves his family more than anything else.

He loves his life.

He loves Hyunjin, too.

He could never choose.

 You Should Leave

The next morning arrives and Changbin wakes up before Hyunjin, watching him yet again.
Suddenly, beautiful brown eyes flick open to look back at him.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"How are you, Jinnie?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Good."

Hyunjin rubs his eyes and Changbin takes him in.

So pretty.

"So… uh… when do you go back?"

"I told Felix to pick me up from the airport at 3. I'll get there at 2:30 so I can sit and wait for
him."

"Your lies are so intricate."

"Yea." Changbin leans over to kiss him on the cheek. "Really, Jin, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."

"What was all that about last night?"

"I just… I don't know. The way you talk to me it seems like we should be married instead,
like I should be picking you up from a business trip that actually exists."

Changbin scoffs. "Yea, no."

Hurt washes over Hyunjin's face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Changbin quickly notices Hyunjin's hostile tone. "I just mean -"

"What? The side piece you literally worship isn't good enough for a piece of fucking paper?"

"I didn't -"

"You're the one who said it, Changbin, that marriage is just a piece of paper. You don't give a
fuck about it. You only did it because Felix wanted it."

"Yea, I don't care about it. I care about the person."

"So you don't care about me?"

"... What?" He scrunches his face, annoyance tints his exasperated voice.

"You said you care about the person, not the paper. You said you wouldn't marry me."
Changbin attempts to take Hyunjin's hand but it's immediately revoked.

"Jinnie, I do care about you. I do love you."

"Then why is marrying me a joke to you?"

"Why are you taking it so fucking seriously?"

Hyunjin's brows are furrowed; he doesn't respond.

"I love you, Hyunjin. I can't live without you. You're so much more to me than that. You don't
need to be reduced down to that."

"To what? The title that tells everyone you'll love me until you die? Ya know, the same thing
you tell me all the time?"

"Why are you so hung up on this? I don't understand. We fuck, we go on dates. We're
boyfriends, Hyunjin. You have me and my heart. I don't know what else you want."

"I want you."

"You have me."

"No I don't. You know I don't."

"You do."

"No. You have the perfect fucking life. A high-paying job, a mansion, two beautiful kids, a
lovely husband who'd die for you and blindly trusts you. I have an open relationship where he
rebounds between me and his ex, the love of his fucking life."
Changbin's barely blinking, taking in the entirety of the situation. "What?"

"Stop saying what. I think… I think you should go ahead and leave."

"But -"

"No, Changbin. I just need some time to think. Apparently I don't know what the fuck I
want." He stands up out of bed to grab his pants off the floor.

"I think you do, Jinnie. I can't give it to you. I can't devote myself to you, I love Felix too. I
need you both."

"I've heard that before… every couple of weeks from my boyfriend when his ex is asleep in
his bed. Bye Changbin."

"Hyunjin -"

"We're getting older. We've been in this shit a long time. I've been in this shit with Minho
even longer. I can't be second best forever. Only now have I started to come to terms with the
fact that being number one in someone's life isn't going to come from either of you."

"Jinnie… what are you saying?"

"I think you need to leave."

"Hyunjin, please," he rushes up to take Hyunjin's cheeks in his hands though Hyunjin drops
his head, "I love you. I need you in my life."
"You have everything you could ever want. I think you'll be fine."

"I want you."

"I can't give it to you."

Changbin's eyes are on the verge of tears. He's blinking it away, trying to keep his breathing
steady. "Hyunjin, Jinnie plea-"

"Bye Changbin."
 The Stranger

Changbin spent the next couple of hours sulking but also boring himself to tears, forcing him
to confront his thoughts with the excess of extra time he didn't plan for.

He half-ass smiles as Felix meets him inside the airport lobby, hugging him tightly and
grabbing the carry-on to walk to the car.

"How was it?"

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"We got the account. I'll get a decent break now."

"Binne that's amazing! That's more than fine! Let's celebrate tonight. The boys will be so glad
to be able to see you more. They couldn't stop talking about you at my grandparents' house."

"Yea, I'm excited to be back and at it."

Felix pulls him in for a quick kiss then takes his hand and walks them toward the car.

"Hey Jinnie."

"Hey Minnie."
Minho comes up behind Hyunjin while he's at the sink rinsing out a dish, wrapping his arm
around his waist and digging his face into Hyunjin's neck, quickly kissing it and propping his
chin up on his shoulder.

"Got any plans tonight?" Minho asks.

"Nah. I'm just gonna stay home."

"You okay?"

"Why would I not be?"

"You just… never don't go out."

"I just don't want to." Hyunjin's straight-faced and places the glass in the sink. He turns back
to start walking, naturally forcing Minho off and goes to walk past him but is stopped by a
hand on the shoulder.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously what?"

"Are you okay? And do not say you're fine. You're a horrible liar and it's written all over your
face."

Hyunjin halts, taking a moment to piece together what he wants to say. "Me or Jisung?"

Minho's mouth drops and he starts blinking rapidly. "Huh?"

"Me or Jisung. Pick one."

"But… but Jinnie -"

"You can't choose? I will for you then." Hyunjin shakes him off and heads toward Minho's
front door.

"Jin, what's going on?"

"If I told you to make our relationship exclusive would you do it?"

"But… why would you want that?"

"Why would you not want that?"

"It's worked out so well so far. You've enjoyed being open too."

"Yea, but I don't want it anymore."

"But… why?"

"Between you and Changbin I'm always second best."

"You're not second best."

"Jisung's the love of your fucking life. That's how this started. We started dating when you
broke up, I was a rebound. You know I was. When he wanted to try again you crawled back
and I agreed to let you and you begged me for us to stay together. I agreed to an open
relationship and we started going out for me to meet guys, I met Changbin, you know the
history. You go back to Jisung over and over again. You still love him. You want him more."

"Where are you getting this?"

"Here we go again…" He looks down and mumbles to himself. "I'm using my big boy brain.
I don't want an open relationship forever. I don't want to be a mistress forever. Polygamy is
fun but I've realized I don't want it anymore."

Minho's mouth is agape, eyes wide and shocked.

"Now, I'll ask you again…" Hyunjin looks back up to meet Minho's hurt gaze. "Would you
stop seeing Jisung for me?"

The air is tense, their breathing barely audible.

"Your silence is enough of an answer." Hyunjin keeps going to his original destination.

"Hyunjin… I…"

He stops and abruptly turns, rage prominent in his voice. "You what?"

"... I… I can't."

"Ya know, maybe I will go out tonight." Hyunjin scoffs as he turns the doorknob, stopping in
the middle of the doorway. "Bye Minho."

He shuts the door behind him, turns the corner to fast walk to the elevator but before he can
press the button he begins violently sobbing into his long sleeve. He thuds against the wall,
face now in both his hands, his tears quickly soaking the fabric pulled over his fingers.

He snaps himself out of it once he hears footsteps approaching, frantically wiping his eyes
though knowing damn well he looks like a trainwreck. He quickly presses the button, stands
in front of the black metal doors and stares into them as the figure approaches.

"Down?"
Hyunjin nods, avoiding eye contact.

"Hey… uh… I don't mean to intrude but are you okay?"

"I'm fine." His voice cracks.

"I thought I heard someone crying -"

"I'm fine." He raises his voice, still staring to the front and catching the strange man off
guard. Hyunjin can feel a stare on him and is suddenly overwhelmed with the emotion that
never really went away. Tears start streaming down his face; he tries to stop them but can't.

"Hey, hey…"

Hyunjin's face scrunches as he starts crying again but the stranger's large frame wraps him in
a tight hug. He ignores the fact it's kind of creepy since the comfort is unmatched at this
moment.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Do I look alright?" He whines out.

Hyunjin feels the guy shake, realizing he's chuckling.

"Sorry, wrong question."

"Is my suffering funny to you?" Hyunjin looks up for the first time.

"No, of course not. I'm sorry. I just… sorry."

Hyunjin takes a good look at the man holding his elbows but it doesn't take long to realize
he's handsome. He looks around Hyunjin's age, blonde and slightly curly hair, the kindest
eyes he's ever seen on a person. He's wearing all black, a basic t-shirt and jeans, and
Converse.

"Are you from here? I mean you're Korean but… your accent…?"

"No. Uh… I was born here but grew up in Australia. My parents spoke Korean with me at
home but I guess English is more my first language. I've lived here for a while though."

"What's your name, Aussie?"

"Chris. You can call me Chan if it's easier."

"Hi Chan, I'm Hyunjin."

"Nice to meet you."

They smile at each other for a moment, just for them to realize they're quite close and
awkwardly pull away.

"So… um… really though, are you okay? Would you want to grab coffee and talk about it?"

"I don't know you. Why would I tell you about my personal life?"

"Friendships have to start somewhere, don't they?"

"Friendship? Who said anything about friendship?" Hyunjin's tone has become more playful,
intrigued by the comforting presence in front of him.

"I did. I mean, I can leave, but we'd have to wait for the elevator again."
Hyunjin looks over at the button just to see the light is off and the floor indicator above it
says ground… apparently they missed it opening. "Fine. Are you not busy?"

"Nah, I'm just leaving a friend's place. You?"

"No… I was actually thinking about going out."

"Well… want to go out with me?"

"Are you asking me on a date mister…Chan?"

"Bang Chan."

"Mr. Bang?"

"Do you want it to be a date?"

Hyunjin smirks as he glances over to press the button. "Let's go."

 The First Date

"That's wild."

"A little bit."

"For two years?"

"Yea."

"And this other guy…?"

"Super fucking married."

Chan's head lifts up, tongue pressed in front of his teeth and looks down.

"With kids."

"Wow."

"I know… You regret doing this. I'm a horrible person."

"No, I never judge someone on one thing alone. I mean… knowingly being the side piece of
a happily married business man with a family for a year and a half isn't great but…"

"Don't even try making up excuses for me. I don't deserve it. The worst part is I don't even
feel bad for his husband."

"No?"
"No. I broke up with him not out of guilt, but because he made it obvious he was never going
to leave him for me."

"But… didn't you say you agreed on just a sexual relationship?"

"... Yea..."

"Then why are you mad he didn't change his mind?"

Hyunjin loudly exhales. "Damn it, Chan."

Chan cracks a smile and looks down at his cup. "Sorry. Too personal for a first date."

"So… is this actually a date?"

"I mean… I'm alright with that."

"Yea?"

"Yea. You're pretty cute."

Hyunjin feels the heat penetrate his cheeks. "You're quite attractive yourself."

"So… what do you do?"

"Hm?"

"Your job?"

"Oh, I'm a dance instructor."

"Are you?"

"Yea."

"Well that's exciting. What made you get into that?"

"I've loved dancing for as long as I can remember. Being a professional is extremely hard
work and making money is difficult so I figured I'd channel my passion into teaching others."

"Well that's really nice."

"So what about you, Christopher? How do you pay your bills?"

"I'm a songwriter."

"Are you now?" Hyunjin lifts his eyebrows and up at Chan as he takes a sip.

"Yea. I make songs, pitch them to companies, they take them and give them to an artist and
pay me royalties."

"Do you sing?"

"Not well."

"I doubt that."

"Nah." He draws it out, shaking his head as he looks down and grins.

"You have a nice speaking voice and must be a talented guy if that's all you do. Obviously
they think you're good enough to listen to you sing the demos."

He looks back up with the brightest smile. "Yea, okay. You got me there."

They take a moment to softly grin at each other, each taking another sip.

"So… uh… I'm almost out," Chan gently swirls his cup, "want me to walk you home? Where
do you live?"

"So you can kill me in my sleep?"

"Nah. Not tonight. There's witnesses." He nods to the table closest to them, Hyunjin can't
help the obnoxious giggle that erupts. "I'm joking, I'm joking."

"Yea, sure. Um… I actually don't live too far from here."

"Show me the way."

They've got a couple more minutes to Hyunjin's complex and the sun's beginning to set.
"No way."

"Yea."

"Okay. Another one."

"Are you Australian? Cause you meet all of my koala-fications."

"Ahhhhhhhh." Hyunjin borderline yells before they both burst into laughter. "It's so bad that
it's so fucking good."

"I know. Pick up lines make me laugh."

"You make me laugh." Hyunjin confesses, shyly glancing over at Chan who's now smirking
at him. "Also, thanks again for buying my drink. You really didn't have to."

"No problem at all. I offered the first date and I can't let ma-lady pay for her drink."

"Shut up." He giggles. "Well it's right up there." Hyunjin loosely points to a building in the
distance, random boxes of light sprinkled toward the sky.

"We don't live too far from each other actually."

"No?"

"Nah. I'm just about another five minutes down."

"That's crazy."

"Yea."

"Would you want to come in? If not I totally understand, I just… uh…"

"You just… what?"

Hyunjin slows his step, Chan naturally mimicking. "I don't know. I've just… uh… had a
really nice time."

"Don't want it to end?"

"Not really."

"Do you work tomorrow?"

"In the evening, why?"

"We can watch a movie or something. I just didn't want it to accidentally go too late and
threaten your beauty sleep."

"Bold of you to assume I sleep."

"Look at you."

Hyunjin's done.
Head is empty.

Heart close to bursting.

Say something.

"You're so cheesy."

"Thanks, I try. I like making people smile."

"You've done a great job."

They approach the building entrance, Hyunjin types in the code then leads Chan toward the
elevator and presses the button. They stand close enough together that their arms are barely
touching… grazing, really.

"Don't start crying, now."

"I take it back. You're a bitch." Hyunjin's hiding a grin behind fake annoyance while Chan
giggles as the door opens.

Hyunjin pushes open his front door and leans against it to allow Chan to walk past him.

"This is a nice place."

"Thanks. I like how close it is to everything."

"Yea, it's really nice living in this area."

"Well would you like some water or something?"

"That would be nice."

"If you can figure out the remote you can pick a movie. Popcorn?"

"Of course."

Hyunjin goes into the open kitchen and starts the microwave popcorn as he pours he and
Chan a glass.

Chan plops down on the couch and turns on the TV.

"Oh, I have one of these."

"Do you?"

"Yea. I know how to creep through all your stuff."

"Okay then. Have fun."

Chan giggles and Hyunjin looks over at his precious smile.

He's too good to be true.

Something's gonna happen.

Something always happens.

"Here ya go." Hyunjin places the bowl and two glasses on the table.

"I found one."

"What is it?"

"Action. Superhero specifically."

"Of course."

"What?"

"You give off that vibe."

"Is that okay?"

"Yea, sure."

"Well… ya ready?"

"Yea." Hyunjin shifts to the arm of the couch, leaving them on opposite ends.

"Why are you all the way over there?" He teases.

Hyunjin looks to the space between them. "Problem?"

"We're on a date, aren't we?" He uses the arm along the back of the couch to wave him closer.
Hyunjin grins as he follows and sits, leaning his head on his shoulder.
Hyunjin wakes up to a random song, blinking his eyes frantically and rubbing them as he
looks at the television and sees the credits rolling.

"Good morning."

Hyunjin quickly realizes where he's lying… Chan's thigh.

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry." He scrambles up as Chan giggles.

"You're fine. It was nice."

"Yea?"

"Yea. It's fun to pet you. Your hair's really soft."

"Well… thank you." Hyunjin's now sitting mostly upright on his hands, his legs bent to the
side. His face is leaning quite close to Chan's. "What time is it?"

"Almost 9pm."

"So… you gonna leave now?"

"Was there even an option to stay?"

"I mean… do you work tomorrow?"

"I work when I want. Though really I don't sleep much. I thrive at night."

"I see." Hyunjin subconsciously looks down at Chan's lips just to catch himself and flash
back up to his eyes. A faint smirk sprawls across Chan's face.

"Well… would you… I don't know… want to stay over?"

"Well it would be rude to decline. I don't want to overstay my welcome though."

"Trust me, you wouldn't."

There's silence between them until the song ends in the background.

"So… uh… I feel inclined to ask… do you have a partner to go home to?"

"No."

"A partner at all?"

"No."

"Boyfriend or girlfriend?"

"No."

"Husband or wife?"

"No."
"Children?"

"No."

"Are you actually gay or are you just humoring me?"

"I align more with pansexual. I've mostly dated girls, though."

"Uh huh."

This time, Chan flickers down to Hyunjin's lips and goes back up. "Any more questions?"

"I don't think so. I feel like my bases are covered."

"Well… I have one."

"Yea?"

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?"

"Yea. Are you okay?"

"Ya know… I'm… uh… pretty great right now."

"I lied."

"Huh?"

"I lied."

Hyunjin's face drops. "About what?"

"Only having one more question."

"Okay," he loosens back up a bit, "what else?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Hyunjin's heart flutters. "Are we in the 19th century?"

"No, but you've gone through it today and I don't want pressure you."

"You aren't pressuring me into anything."

"So… what do you say?"

"I say okay."

"Okay?"
"Kiss me, Mr. Bang."

He leans in.

They mostly stay still, getting used to the feeling of the other's lips before they deepen it.
Chan's hand finds its way to Hyunjin's cheek, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb against the
skin. Hyunjin leans forward in response, his chest falling into Chan's arm, triggering him to
move it and snake it around Hyunjin's lower back.

Chan's upper back is leaning against the arm of the couch, Hyunjin's fingers trailing along his
chest. Chan's hand slides down from Hyunjin's cheek to press on his back, keeping them
securely flush together.

Hyunjin's hand naturally glides down his chest, quickly feeling that he has abs, and dances
his fingers across the creases until he reaches the hem of Chan's black jeans. He starts
fiddling with the buckle of his belt when Chan pulls away.

"Hyunjin."

"Yes?"

"Let's not."

Hyunjin is jolted back to reality, embarrassment and insecurity instantly flooding his brain.
"I'm… I'm so sorry, Chan… I didn't mean to -"

"It's fine. I want to. I just… again… don't want to take advantage of you."

"You're not. I want this."

"I know but you've gone through two breakups this week. You're probably just being a little
impulsive."
"Is this because of the two boyfriends thing? Do you think I'm easy?" Hyunjin starts climbing
off but Chan's hand flying to his arm stops him.

"No, of course not. I just don't want to rush anything. I like being around you, Jin… can I call
you that?"

"Jinnie is okay too."

"Okay, Jinnie," Hyunjin shyly looks down just for Chan's hand to maneuver under his chin
and force him to look back up to meet his gaze, "I mean it when I say I want it. I've had some
one night stands in my time, but I don't want this to end like that."

"Who said it would?"

Chan looks at a loss for words.

"I'm such an idiot. I'm literally questioning you for wanting to have a legitimate relationship
with me. I literally told you today that's what I wanted."

"You did, and I want that too."

"You're perfect."

"No I'm not."

"You really like to sell yourself short."

"I can't help it. I don't think I'm that special."

"This has been such an amazing night. You're so sweet. You're so thoughtful. I can't believe I
met you as I was crying outside an elevator after I broke up with my boyfriend."
"I can't believe I met such a wonderful person as he was crying outside an elevator after he
broke up with his boyfriend."

"Well… since we're in the 19th century, can I kiss you?"

"Of course."

Hyunjin leans in for a gentle peck, pulling away after a few moments to lean their foreheads
together. "So… would you spend the night? Be my cuddle buddy?"

"I'd love to."

 A Losing Game

"Binnie, my love, you ready?" Felix calls from the bedroom as he straightens his jacket. "We
need to drop off the kids before we go."

"I know, Jagi, I'm coming." Changbin comes out in black t-shirt, blue jeans and a beanie.

"Ready?"

"Yea."

"And when we get home we can get wine drunk."

"Really?" Changbin looks over from the steering wheel. "That's your idea of a great ending to
a Saturday night?"

"Yea! No harm in some fun."

Changbin giggles as he takes Felix's hand to lift it and kiss the back. "Okay, we're here."
Changbin pulls into the driveway, familiar cars lined up in front of the house.

"We haven't gotten to see the guys in a while since you threw yourself into work."

"Huh?"
"All your late nights, your overnight trips to win them over?"

"Yea, of course." They get out and shut the doors behind them. "Sorry Jagi. I'm just a little
tired."

"I know it's been rough on you." Felix dusts off the front of Changbin's shirt. "You get a nice
break now."

"I know. I love you so much. Thanks for hanging in there." He gives Felix a quick peck. "I'll
make sure it never happens again."

"Do what you need to do, Binnie. Now, let's go. We're late thanks to you."

"Whatever." Changbin rolls his eyes as Felix smiles and pulls him up the stairs of the front
porch and opens the door.

"Knock knock!" Felix chimes.

"Hey guys!" Mingyu emerges from the dining room to the side, chatter prominent. "The first
one you guys come to in weeks and you took forever."

"Cause someone takes forever to get ready." Felix teases.

"Dude, it's seven at night. It's not like we asked you to get up early."

"Get off my ass, Gyu."

"Well everyone's ready, we've just been waiting on you."

"Cool cool, thanks!" Felix takes Changbin's hand and leads them into the normal gathering
spot.

Changbin scans the room and his heart stops.

It lands on their good friend Chan.

Chan and Hyunjin are snuggled up, talking against each other's lips as Hyunjin's precious
quaint laugh graces Changbin's ears.

Hyunjin's here.

Why is he here?

He's kissing distance from Chan.

Why is he so close and personal with Chan?

"Oh, hey Changlix!" Wooyoung calls, triggering everyone to look up and over.

Chan gives Hyunjin a quick peck before they divert their attention to the archway.

Changbin's heart sinks.

Hyunjin's eyes grow wide when his eyes meet Changbin's.

"Hey hey," Jake calls, "come on down guys. You leave us hanging just to be super late your
first time back."
"Sorry, Bin took his sweet precious time per usual."

Changbin's eyes are fixed on Hyunjin through the whole exchange. Chan catches on,
flickering his gaze between a mortified Hyunjin and a shocked Changbin.

"Take a seat, Bin, Lixie." Chan speaks up, snapping the exes out of it. "Let's get started, ya?"

"Ya! Come on!" Felix drags him to sit down across from Chan and Hyunjin. "Hey Chris, how
are you?" He says in English, Chan flashing him a sweet smile.

"Good Lixie, how are you?"

"Good. So, who's your friend?" Felix raises his pitch and smirks, obviously insinuating
something.

He looks back to the strangers. "Felix, Changbin, this is Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Felix and
Changbin. Hyunjin's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend?

"Since when?" Changbin accidentally rushes it out, not realizing he said it until after it leaves
his lips.

"We just started dating. Almost a week. We've hung out everyday since though. He's
amazing."

I know.

… Wait… a week?
Chan gives Hyunjin a kiss on the cheek, catching him enough off guard to blush and look
over at him.

"You're amazing."

His voice.

Just as mesmerizing as I remember.

"Awwww how cute! You're adorable together."

"Thanks Lix."

Chan wraps an arm around Hyunjin, pulling him close and kissing his hair when Mingyu
speaks up. "Okay, now that we're all here, let's get it. Who wants to be the dealer?"

"Did you have fun?"

"Yea, it was nice."

Chan moves his hand from Hyunjin's thigh as they pull up to the complex and park. "So…
um… I have a question."

"Yea?"

"Was it Changbin?"
Hyunjin's eyes jolt open, jerking his head to look at Chan who's now focused on the steering
wheel.

"Huh?"

"Were you Changbin's mistress? Was he the married business man with the perfect life,
husband and kids? The year and a half affair you just called off because he wouldn't leave
Felix for you?"

Hyunjin's struggling to form words but he knows he's fucked if he can't think of something.
"No, no it's -"

"Please don't lie to me."

Hyunjin gulps as Chan looks back toward him. He has such a serious look in his eyes; it's
making Hyunjin's chest ache. "Why do you think that?"

"After seeing how you responded to meeting each other, how tense you got after they showed
up, how he was looking at you constantly throughout the night, and thinking about the details
of your story it makes sense. Not to mention Changbin's been really busy lately with work,
your ex-man's excuse to get away to meet you, so he hasn't been able to meet with us." Chan
takes a deep breath. "Am I right?"

"Yes."

He purses his lips and slowly nods. "That didn't take much."

"There's no point in lying if you've already figured it out and convinced yourself you're
right."

"He really was the guy?"

"Yea. He was."

"Jinnie…"

Hyunjin is watching every movement, minute and obvious, anxious to know what he's
thinking.

"... Jinnie…"

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can do this."

No.

"What do you mean?"

"Felix and Changbin are two of my best friends. I've just been made aware of something I
never should've known, wanted to know, or needed to know. I can't look Felix in the eye and
hold your hand knowing you helped his husband cheat on him for so long, let alone at all."

"You said it didn't bother you, that you were willing to try and trust me."

"It hits different knowing the victim. Especially when I care for him so deeply… when I've
known him for so many years." He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Let's stop this
before we get too serious."

"But… but Channie…"

"Yes?"
"I…" Hyunjin's eyes are starting to gloss over. "Please, Chan. You're the best thing I've ever
had. Please. Give me a chance."

"I don't think my conscience would let me. I'm sorry Jin. I want you to find your person, I
really do…" He takes Hyunjin's hand in his own, his other wipes a rogue tear from his soft
cheek. "I think this is the universe's way of saying I'm not it."

"No."

"I want to be your friend but as long as Felix doesn't know I don't think we should talk. Even
then, if he ever did find out, I think it'd be hard for me."

"Chan, please."

"Jinnie, I'm sorry. Please understand where I'm coming from."

"I…" Tears are yet again streaming down his face like when they first met. "I do get it. I
really do." He starts sobbing as tears well up in Chan's.

"I hate seeing you cry." Chan lifts him up by the chin to look at him, giving him one last
passionate kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry Jinnie."

There's no point in fighting this.

I'm going to lose.

"I'm sorry too."

 Confronting Reality
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Bang Bang Bang

Hey

Can we talk?

Me

Hey hyung

Yea sure

What's up?

Bang Bang Bang

In person?

Me

Is everything okay?

Bang Bang Bang

Yea

Just want to chat about something

Me

When and where?

Changbin's walking down the concrete path when he sees Chan sitting on a bench, staring out
at the pond in front of him.

"Hey Channie."

Chan looks over in his direction. "Hey Bin. Please," he scootches over from the center to
make room, "have a seat."

Changbin sits down, trying not to be anxious. "So, uh, what's up? What did you want to talk
about?"

"Do you have any ideas?"

"Uh… no…?"

"Hyunjin."

His body subconsciously tenses at the mention of his name. "Your boyfriend?"

Chan huffs, looking down at his own intertwined hands. "I know about you two."

"But… uh… hyung, I don't kn-"

"No, Changbin. I know you cheated on Felix with him for a year and a half."

"But…" His chest feels so tight, shock overwhelming his senses. "... But -"
"He didn't tell me until I asked him directly. You two were a little too uncomfortable after
you first met." He air quotes the last word. "I asked him if he was your mistress and he said
there was no point in lying if I figured it out."

"How did you know?"

"About the cheating? We met in Jake's apartment building. He was on the same floor,
bawling his eyes out at the elevator."

"Why was he crying?"

"He'd just broken up with his boyfriend."

"He… he broke up with Minho?"

"Yea, yea that name sounds right. He said he asked if he'd be exclusive and when he said no
he left. But anyway, I asked if he was okay, he got sassy with me, and I offered to take him
out for coffee and talk. We had a wonderful chat, he told me why he was a mess and about
everything going on in his romantic relationships. I walked him back to his place, and I came
in to watch a movie and he fell asleep on my lap… and we kissed… I kissed him. He tried to
go farther but I told him I wanted to take things slow, to build a real relationship with him
before we got intimate. He kept questioning me but I know he just isn't used to being told he
was the only one and someone was really trying with him. We fell asleep in his bed with him
in my arms and it was such a beautiful night."

Changbin's head drops.

Chan looks over at him in his new position. "I've made sure to take him out on lots of dates,
show him lots of PDA, and really get to know him. Show him he's worthy of love… He is.
He's such an amazing guy. And… but… I broke up with him last night."

Changbin jerks his head over. "What?"

"I told him as long as Felix doesn't know about your affair I couldn't be comfortable around
him. I know too much. Felix is the single nicest person on the planet and doesn't deserve this.
I told Hyunjin when he first explained the situation the day we met that I didn't mind, that I
don't judge that quickly, and I fully meant that. It just hit way too close to home. I can't date
someone knowing they would easily destroy my best friend's life. And that's where you come
in."

Changbin's still staring at Chan when he meets his gaze.

"It's not my place to tell Felix what's going on in his relationship. Like I said, he doesn't
deserve this. He deserves to know."

"Are you telling me to tell Felix about Hyunjin?" His eyebrows are furrowed, a mix of
desperation and disbelief plaguing his voice.

"I'm not telling you to, you're an adult. I'm telling you to be honest with yourself and your
husband. You can't make up your mind and it's hurting two people you claim to care about.
I'm encouraging you, strongly, to come clean."

"This isn't about you, Chan. It's over. We're not together anymore."

"I know, I'm fully aware. I'm just saying… well, let me ask you this… were you actually
staying late at work? Or were you fucking Hyunjin at his place?"

"The fuck did you just say?" The hostility in Changbin's tone is shining through and Chan
can easily sense it.

"That answers my question. Changbin, I really think you need to tell Felix. There's been so
much lying and deceit. So fucking much."

"I'm not saying shit. He'll leave me. He can't leave me. I love our family, I'd die for him and
our children. Felix is the best thing in my life."

"Then why did you tell Hyunjin the same thing?"

Changbin pauses. "Pardon?"

"During coffee that day, before I had any idea it was you, Hyunjin said you told him that you
couldn't live without him. That you love him. That he didn't need to be reduced down to a
marriage certificate, which you think is a useless piece of paper that only Felix wanted. You
told him that Felix could never be him."

I said every single one of those things.

"Who do you want more, Binnie?"

Changbin looks up to meet Chan's cold stare.

"Felix or Hyunjin?"

After a few moments of silence and hesitation, he responds.

"Felix."

"Are you sure?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Your best friend. Felix's best friend. You both deserve to be happy and need to be on the
right track or you're doomed to fail."

"We're doing just fucking fine."

"Have you cheated on him with anyone else?"

"What are you on about now?" Irritation is coursing through him; his ears are turning a light
shade of red.
"Did you cheat on Felix with anyone else other than Hyunjin?"

"The fuck does that have to do with you?"

"Yes."

"What?" He spits.

"Your lack of a real response makes me think you have. If you hadn't you'd immediately tell
me no."

Changbin takes a moment to focus on his breathing.

He's right. Hyunjin was by far the most important but he wasn't the only one.

"How many?"

"That's none of your fucking business."

"Okay, you're not wrong. But if you were happy in a relationship you wouldn't need to
stray… unless of course it's a mutual agreement, but Felix is so ruthlessly devoted to you
there's no way he'd agree. Also I know you know he'd leave you. You said it yourself a
minute ago."

Changbin is trying to keep himself on the middle dot in the tug of war between crying and
punching Chan.

"Changbin…? ……Changbin -?"

"What?" He screams, abruptly breaking down into a sobbing fit. Chan immediately pulls him
in. "I love them both, Chan. I can't choose."
"You've already lost one of them because of it and it's obviously still getting to you. Lixie
said you've been tired since you got home from your trip. Specifically since right before
Hyunjin and I met, right when he broke it off with you."

Changbin is soaking the fabric of Chan's shirt, his nails digging into his back as he's being
held tight against his chest.

"I love you Changbin but you can't go on like this. No one deserves it. Not Felix, not
Hyunjin, not you. You all deserve happiness. Happiness without secrets and lies."

"I can't. I can't lose them."

"Okay." Chan lets go to look Changbin in the eyes.

"You pulled all this shit…" Changbin sniffles, "just to tell me okay after I fought you so
many fucking times?"

"I just want you to realize what you want."

"I want Felix."

"You want Felix or the stability of Felix?"

"I love him. I want him. I want our life to stay exactly the same."

"Who do you want to fall asleep next to? Who do you miss more when you're actually away
on a trip? Who do you daydream about? If you could get married again, not thinking it's a
scam but a day full of love and celebrating your future, who would you want to be waiting
for you, smiling at you from the end of the aisle?"

Changbin stares blankly into Chan's eyes.

"You know who, huh?"

Changbin bursts into tears again, Chan holding him tight.

 "It's okay."

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not, Chan. It's fucking not." He jerks away from Chan's grip.

"What's the answer?"

"Huh?" Changbin looks up at him with harsh yet broken eyes.

"Who do you want?"

"Hyunjin." He mumbles.

"What was that?"

"Hyunjin." Changbin asserts, quickly pausing to sit with the gravity of his confession. "I want
Hyunjin."

Chapter End Notes

Fun fact: I changed the title of the fic when I finished this chapter after one of my
favorite Taylor Swift songs because I suddenly thought of how fitting the word was.
 Desperate
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Coming." Hyunjin gets off the couch and trudges over to the front door, not interested in
seeing anyone, especially since whoever this is was unplanned.

The hard knocking continues.

"I said I'm coming." He huffs in annoyance as he opens the door to a teary-eyed Changbin.

"Changbin?"

"Hyunjin."

"Go away."

"No," Changbin interrupts Hyunjin's shutting it by pushing it back open, "we need to talk."

"No we don't."

"I love you."

"... So?"

"So I love you."

"... Get out."

Changbin stops it with a thud again. "No. I love you. I want you. I choose you."
Hyunjin looks defeated, sadness laced in his gleaming brown eyes. "Changbin, no."

"Yes."

"Are you going home to Felix?"

"... What do… you…?"

"Yes? Okay. Then your words mean nothing."

"I want to marry you."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. I always thought it was a piece of paper until I met you."

"Tell me why I would believe that after you told me literally less than two weeks ago that you
thought I was better, " he air quotes, "than that and you didn't want to."

"I've had a change of heart."

"Have you now?"

"Yes."
"What was the cause of that, huh?"

"Chan."

Hyunjin's head tilts, eyebrows furrowed. "Chan?"

"He texted me to chat and told me about your talk. He said he couldn't stand idly by with his
newfound knowledge and basically, in more Chan words, told me to get my shit together."

"And?"

"And I pick you."

"But have you told Felix this?"

"No but I will."

"You mean you will… today? Or when you keep putting it off until this happens again in a
few months or a year or whatever after you keep reassuring me you will eventually?"

"Chan made a good point. None of us deserve this. We all deserve to be in happy healthy
partnerships and I'm not doing that. I'm doing nothing but hurting all three of us."

"Okay."

"Okay?"
"Words don't mean shit to me, Bin. Until you tell him about us I don't believe a thing that
comes out of your mouth."

"I just… I need time to figure out how to tell him."

"Then you'll get more time away from me." He goes to shut the door yet again, just for it to
be forced open by Changbin, even further this time, until he takes Hyunjin by the cheeks and
forces their lips together.

"Changbin, get ou-"

"I love you, Hyunjin. Please."

"Why are you so fucking desperate?"

"I've been so empty without you."

"It's only been two fucking weeks."

"I know but it's been hell."

"I'm sorry Changbin but I can't do this again. I won't be your mistress again." He takes a deep
breath and loudly exhales. "It was easier that I hadn't met him. I have a face to the name now.
It humanizes him. It makes it real."

"But I love you."

"Changbin, I don't care."

"Please." He pleads, grasping out for his hand just for Hyunjin to retract it behind his back.

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, coming over just to beg me to take you
back while you figure out how you tell your loving husband that you want me more. You're
obviously overly emotional and not thinking straight. You know you don't want to give up
your perfect life for your side piece. I think you need to go home and get some rest."

"But -"

"No. You've changed nothing by coming here. Actions speak louder than words. I can't do
this again, Changbin. I won't. Figure your shit out, actually sort it, then come back to me. I
won't take your empty promises. Since I know you never will, I'll save you the energy and
tell you that I'm done. We're done."

"Hyunjin."

Hyunjin takes Changbin's hand and leads him the couple steps back toward the front door. "I
lost the most positive influence in my life because of us. I didn't know that was possible. You
need to make me one hundred percent certain I can trust you before I let your presence back
into my life to possibly fuck up something else that's good for me." He gently pushes
Changbin by the shoulder, who falters back slightly just into the hallway. "Goodbye
Changbin."

Hyunjin shuts the door with no hindrance and Changbin is left facing it, dead eyes and a
blank stare.

Fuck.

"Hey honey, did you have fun hanging out with Chan?" Felix chimes from the kitchen as
Changbin walks in through the garage door.
He hears footsteps but no response.

"Binnie?" He steps away from the stove, wiping his hands on a towel, to check the door just
to see it closed and no husband.

"Hm. Okay, well I'll find him when food's done." He mumbles, going back to his original
position.

"Okay Changbin, you can do it." He's staring at himself through their bedroom's en suite
bathroom, catching his breath and gently splashing water on his face to try to ease the heat
and redness. "Stop crying like a little bitch. Just tell him." He looks down, closing his eyes
just to quickly shoot back up. "No, I can't. Not today. I can't… I can't lose this."

"Daddy?"

He looks over to see Jisoo looking up at him.

"Daddy what's wrong? What did you lose? I can help you find it."

Changbin smiles at the little one, loudly huffing out his exhale as he bends down to take him
in a hug. "I love you, son."

"I love you too, Daddy." He wraps his little arms around him, not understanding what's going
on but just wants to make Changbin feel better. "Why are you sad, Daddy? Can I help?"

"No, sweetie, you can't. It's Daddy's mess."

He remains silent for a moment. He's old enough to ask questions and understand a vague
explanation.

"Lixie is going to be very mad at Daddy."

"What did you do?"

"One day you'll understand. But don't tell Lixie about anything, I need to tell him myself."
"Okay," he brings two fingers to his lips and does the zipping motion, "my lips are sealed."

"I love you and Hansol more than words can ever describe. You know that, right?"

"Of course! We love you a lot."

"Great. Dinner's probably about done, why don't you go get Hannie and go downstairs?"

"K-K." He hurriedly roams off, little patters down the hallway make Changbin smile but also
breaks his heart.

"Fuck me."

"Hey Jagi, I tried to get you when you came in but I - Binnie, what's wrong?" Felix stops
when he makes contact with Changbin.

Fuck.

I thought I looked normal enough.

"Nothing, Lix, I'm fine."

Felix flashes to the kids who are focused on digging into their little bowls and decides to drop
it for their sake. "Your dinner's on the table."

"Thanks."
They eat like any other dinner, Felix asking about what they have planned at school that
week, any practices he needs to know about, and keeps glancing over at an abnormally quiet
Changbin.

Eventually they all finish, aside from Changbin who mostly picked around his serving.

"Hey boys, why don't you go out to the backyard and play before it gets dark? Then you can
get your baths and get some bedtime stories before sleep." Felix suggests.

"Yea!"

"Let's go Soo!"

They excitedly jump up, going out the door close behind them to the porch and the fathers
hear their tiny feet shuffling on the concrete and soon a basketball starts bouncing.

"So, Jagi… uh… how are you?"

Changbin stays silent, his eyes pacing around the room as he debates what to say next.

"Bin? Is everything okay? You've been acting kind of weird lately. Ever since you got that
account you've been more tired and distant. Did something happen on that trip?"

"Are you sure you want to talk here?"

Felix's eyes widen, not expecting such a serious and eerie response. "Should we not?"

"I… uh… feel like we should talk in our room."

"Um… yea… okay."

They take a seat at the sitting area in front of the bay window and watch the trees sway as
silence fills the room.

"So… want to talk now?"

Changbin shuts his eyes as he inhales, bracing himself. "There was no account."

"... Huh?"

"There was no trip."

"What? Uh… but… what do you mean?"

"I didn't actually go to Busan. I was a fifteen minute drive down the road."

"But… why? Did it get canceled or something? You were at the airport."

"I got a cab to the airport to meet you. I lied about the account. I wasn't staying late at work. I
wasn't spending weeks winning one over."

Felix's face is scrunched, obviously trying to register what he's saying. "Then… what were
you doing?"
"I…" He takes a deep breath. "I was in Hyunjin's bed."

Felix stares blankly into Changbin, who's refusing to meet his eye contact by staring at one
branch on a tree outside. "Hyunjin? Isn't that Chan's boyfriend's name?"

"Yea. Him. We'd met way before Mingyu's place. We broke up before he and Chan got
together, specifically the morning you picked me up from the airport. That's why I've been
acting strange. I've been depressed."

Felix shakes his head, finding new focal points of interest sporadically across the room.
"You… you broke up? What the hell are you talking about broke up ?"

"Hyunjin and I had been together for a year and half. I'd been having an affair."

Felix's heart stops, his breath slows, his eyes are cold and dead. "What?"

"He knew I was married and didn't care. He and his boyfriend had an open relationship. He
broke up with us both for the same reason: we wouldn't devote ourselves to just him. He
broke up with Minho for not being able to give up his ex and with me for not being able to
leave you for him."

"Leave… me… for him?"

"Yea. I told him I couldn't. Our family and life together is my favorite thing in this world and
I couldn't risk its collapse."

"I… I don't know if I should be happy or mad."

"Mad."
"Mad?"

"Yes."

"... Yea?"

"Yea… 'cause I've decided I want Hyunjin."

"... Pardon?" He strains.

"I choose Hyunjin. I love him so much Lixie. I love you too but… I don't know. I haven't felt
like myself since he's not been around. I went to his place after Chan to tell him I choose him
and he told me to fuck off until I was serious enough to break up with you."

"Changbin… Changbin, look at me."

He hesitates but turns his head to look at Felix, quickly realizing how confused and on the
verge of broken he looks.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I love you Lixie, I love our boys more than anything, and I don't want to lose you."

"Answer the question." His voice is now stern and articulate. "Are you breaking up with
me?"

"I…"

"If you don't break up with me I'm leaving you."

Changbin's eyes expand, knowing this was coming but hearing it so bluntly stings. "What?"

"I told you if I ever found out or even suspected you were cheating I'm gone. I've done
nothing but blindly love and support you, ignoring the seemingly stupid schoolyard gossip
and stories that don't quite add up because I love you and we have an entire life that we've
built together. You're telling me you're throwing that away for some slut?"

"He's not a slut."

"No? Well he must've done something to attract you."

"He existed, Felix. I thought he was attractive. It was going to be a one time thing but I
quickly realized I couldn't stop seeing him."

"I can't -" He mumbles, staring outside the window.

"He wasn't the only one, either."

He quickly jerks his head back to Changbin's frightened eyes. "What?"

"I didn't just cheat on you with Hyunjin. He was my boyfriend, yes, but there were other
guys. I've slept with more than one other guy while we've been together… high school and
recently."

"I can't fucking believe this. Did Chan know about this? Is that why you're telling me now?"

"He asked Hyunjin about it after connecting some dots, reading into how we were around
each other at game night. Hyunjin confirmed his suspicions, Chan broke up with him out of
solidarity for you, and texted me this morning to meet and told me to tell you myself."
"So you didn't even have the courage to tell me on your own terms? Someone found out?!"

"He talked me into making a decision, saying it wasn't fair on any of us and he was right. He
made me realize I wanted Hyunjin. Then that's when I went by his place then came back
here. But yes. I was questioning it before… but after seeing them together and realizing how
much I miss him, it definitely sped up the process."

Felix sits in awe and silence, only the sound of their breathing is audible. "I'm going to stay
with my grandparents tonight. I'm taking the kids."

"Please, no -" Changbin turns, his arms mindlessly reaching for anything.

"No. They deserve people in their life that care about them. We took them in, took them as
our own to love them and support them together. You can't even love and support me."

"Felix, I swear to you, I love you so fucking much. I love those boys so fucking much. Our
lives are perfect and I didn't want to ruin that."

"Obviously you did if you've been cheating on me for our entire fucking relationship. You
had a whole other boyfriend outside of our marriage, Changbin. You're a fucking disgrace.
I'm packing a bag for me and the boys and getting out. I don't care what you do or where you
go but I'll figure out a living arrangement and we'll be out of here completely ASAP. I can't
be in the same building as someone who thinks so fucking little of me and the life we've
built. So many fucking years of my life, wasted on a whore I thought was the love of my life
that couldn't even bother to respect me."

He storms into the massive closet, Changbin quickly breaking down in tears as Felix grabs a
bag and throws some random clothes into it. He goes into the bathroom to get his toothbrush
and stomps out to the boys' rooms.

Changbin keeps his forehead in his hands, hearing rustling and thumping from across the
halls.

There's no point in trying to stop him.

After several minutes, he pokes his head back into their room, Changbin in the exact same
position.
 "Nothing? Not even gonna try?"

Changbin turns over his shoulder looking at Felix with a duffle bag. "I love you, Felix."

"Fuck you."

He slams the door behind him.

Changbin's left alone in the mansion.

Chapter End Notes

So the part with tiny Joshua single-handedly breaks my heart and I wrote it.
 Awakening
Chapter Notes

Consequences of binge drinking/alcohol abuse ahead.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Changbin's hazy as he reaches for the bottle, sloppily bringing it to his mouth and chugging.
He coughs from lack of control but ignores it and keeps going.

His face has been hot for a while but his vision starts to blur, feeling his heartbeat intensely
through his chest.

He wakes up slowly, surrounded by white walls and an IV in his hand. He blinks at an

inhumanly slow speed, slowly coming to as he hears an oddly familiar voice.

"Changbin… Changbin, are you awake? Binnie, please. Please wake up."

He manages to look over.

"Jinnie? What… what happened?"

"I kept trying to call you and you didn't answer. I asked Chan if he'd heard from you and he
said you left from talking with him really upset. I didn't want to risk Felix being there so I
asked if he'd check on you. He tried calling you too but you didn't answer. Your car was there
but Felix's was gone. The door was unlocked so he let himself in and he found you passed out
next to a ton of bottles. He immediately called an ambulance then called Felix but he didn't
answer so he called me."

"You've… you've been… waiting?"

"Of course. I love you, you dumb bitch."

Changbin exhaustedly chuckles.

"Chan tried calling Felix from your phone but it went straight to voicemail. He said he didn't
see the kids either so he's waiting at your house for when they come back."

"They won't."

"Huh?"

"Felix is…well… leaving me."

Hyunjin is quiet as he looks into Changbin's now closed eyelids. "He's… what?"

He huffs breaths between every few words. "I told Felix. I… I told Felix I choose you. I told
him everything. He packed himself… and the boys bags and said they were going… to stay
with his grandparents. He'd be back later for the rest… of their stuff…"

"You're not lying?"

"Why the fuck… would I lie… about that?"

"So your solution was giving yourself alcohol poisoning?"

"... Did I?"

"Well… not technically… but you're impressively fucking close. Your nurse said you're
really lucky."

"I… I don't feel like it."

Hyunjin's visibly heartbroken, quickly letting the guilt eat him alive. "Changbin, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have -"

"Ji… Jinnie… shut… the fuck up. You did nothing wrong. I was the one who… fell in love
with another guy while I… was married."

"But I knew and didn't care. If I hadn't pressured you-"

"Relationships are two people. I'm alive… I'm fine… I'll be home soon enough… and I'll
figure it out."

"Changbin, I can't believe this. I'm so sorry." Hyunjin takes Changbin's non-hooked up hand,
taking it between both of his and holding it up to his lips. Tears begin trickling down his face
as he starts crying into the back of Changbin's hand.

"Jinnie… you're too pretty to… cry. Stop it."

Hyunjin looks up to faintly grin and sees Changbin smiling back. "How are you? How do you
feel?"

"Fine… I'm just… tired."

"Yea, your body was trying not to fucking die, you dumbass. Thank god I was trying to call
you or I don't know what would've happened."

"Why… why were… why were you calling me?"

"I wanted to talk. I realized I was a little too harsh on you. I don't know, I just… I wanted to
hear your voice. Hear you out since I shut you down so quickly."

"I… deserved it."

"No, you don't deserve this."

"I meant the talk… from before… You had nothing to… to do with this."

"I'm sorry Changbin. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Stop apologizing… you slut."

Hyunjin giggles as he plants a kiss on Changbin's knuckles.

"Kiss me, Jinnie."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"I almost died… I can't even… get a kiss?"

"Are you really trying to fucking guilt trip me?"

"I… don't know… is it working?"

"You're such a bitch." Hyunjin slowly leans down, giving him a passionate kiss that lasts for a
few seconds before disconnecting. "I love you so much."

"I love… you."

"Hey, Bin."

Hyunjin turns over his shoulder and Changbin flashes his gaze over to the doorway to see
Chan standing and smiling.

"I hate to ruin a moment but can I come in?"

"Yea, yea. Um… I guess I'll leave now."

"Nah, Jinnie, you can stay. It's obvious he wants you here." He looks down at Changbin with
a quaint smile. "How ya feeling man?"

"Fantastic."

"Well, good news, the nurse said you should be able to leave in a few more hours. They just
need to wait for the rest of the alcohol to exit your system and make sure you're stable."

"Yay." Changbin blandly, half-heartedly grunts.

"I got a hold of Felix and told him what happened. He's gonna come by and talk to you in a
couple days once you've recovered and are more situated."

"He doesn't have to… bother… I know he… fucking hates me."
"He's hurt, Changbin. Understandably. He said what we've all said: cheating doesn't mean
you need to irreversibly damage or kill yourself. And don't you dare fucking say you deserve
it. Your sons need a father."

"Felix is right… they need… someone better than me."

"You love those boys with every fiber of your being. Felix knows that. He just wasn't the one
for you." Chan puts a hand on Hyunjin's shoulder, looking deeply into his eyes. "I hope you
two are happy together, Jinnie. But Changbin, I swear to god," he moves the hand from
Hyunjin's shoulder to the top of his head, "if you even dare hurt a hair on this ungodly
gorgeous man's head you'll be back in here, got it?"

Changbin lightly smiles. "Of course," he reaches to take Hyunjin's hand, "never."

"I mean," Hyunjin interjects, "I was the result of a shameless affair so it'll take some serious
time for me to believe you wouldn't do the same to me but I'll hope for the best. I'm willing to
try. We were basically exclusively cheating on our partners with each other."

"You weren't… cheating…"

"Close enough. You know what I mean. So Changbin… uh… do you want me to take you
back to your house when you're discharged?"

"I don't… I don't think I can handle… going back… there tonight…"

"Well then… would you want to stay at my place?"

"Can we… snuggle?"

"I was thinking I'd be on the couch."

"Nooooo…." Changbin whines.

"And with that," Chan clears his throat and rubs his thumb against Hyunjin's shoulder blade,
"I think this is where I take my leave. Let me know when he gets out, Jinnie, I'll tell Felix and
they can coordinate later."

"Okay, can do. Bye Channie."

He kisses the top of Hyunjin's head. "Bye Jinnie."

"Hey," Changbin scolds, finger lazily pointing to Chan, "don't you go… taking my man
again."

Hyunjin and Chan turn to giggle at each other.

"Bye Changbin. I'll talk to you later, yea?"

"Yea."

Chan smiles as he half-bows and goes to walk out the open door.

"So… it's just you… and me now, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up, you beautiful idiot." Hyunjin gives him a kiss on the forehead, making
Changbin blush. "When we get back to my place I'll run you a bath, make you something to
eat and we'll watch a movie or something until you fall asleep. Does that sound good?"
"Can you… join me?"

"Join you?"

"In the… bath."

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, eliciting an audible laugh from Changbin. "Even when you're half
dead you're still thirsty."

"I just… love being close to you…"

"Well, until then." Hyunjin reaches across Changbin to grab the remote from the tray, "want
to find something to watch to pass the time until you're not drunk off your ass?"

"Sure… but is that… a yes?"

"Whatever you want."

"I want… you." Changbin puckers his lips, Hyunjin quickly but gently meets them.

"Okay, I'll scroll and you just stop me when you see something that interests you."

"Stop."

"I haven't even started."

Changbin smirks.
 "You bitch, I don't count."

Chapter End Notes

Honestly I surprised myself with this chapter so hopefully it wasn't too much.
 Epilogue*
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"This place is so nice, Binnie." Hyunjin places his bag on the dining table, taking in their new
home for the next two weeks.

"Only the best for my husband." Changbin says, coming up from behind to wrap his arms
around Hyunjin's waist, standing on his tiptoes to nuzzle his nose into the crook of his neck.

"I can't believe we just got married."

"I can't believe I was excited to get married."

Hyunjin smirks as he maneuvers around to drape his arms over Changbin's shoulders.
"Marriage is just a piece of paper. Who the fuck cares?" He taunts.

"I hadn't met the one to get me excited about it, I guess. I had such an amazing day yesterday,
Jin. All our families were there, the boys had a great time, we met Felix's new man, you were
so sexy…"

"Well… now that it's over," he slowly pushes Changbin backward until his knees press
against something to stop him, "shall we consummate our marriage?" Hyunjin pushes him
back onto the couch, climbing on top of him to sit on his lap, rewrapping his arms around his
neck and giving him a quick but passionate kiss.

"Why did you have to say it like that?"

"Sorry, want to fuck as newlyweds?"

"Better." Changbin smirks as he pulls Hyunjin down to him with one arm, his other snaking
around to his lower back. "Ya know what one thing I had at my first bachelor party was that I
really liked?"

"What was that?"

"Strippers."

"Did you seriously?" He scoffs.

"What? Felix got them."

"It's like he foreshadowed."

"Shut the fuck up." Changbin forcefully pulls him down just to kiss him then shove him back
up.

Hyunjin giggles. "Did you hook up with one of them? Is that why it was so great?"

"No, but can I get to the point?"

"Sorry Daddy."

Changbin chuckles and grins at the nickname. "I realized I can have that again."

"Um… you're kind of supposed to do that before the wedding? Should I be offended?"
"No, baby, I mean I have you."

Hyunjin leans back and shoots Changbin a confused look. "Are you calling me a whore?"

"Strippers aren't whores Jinnie, but no I'm not. Though, let's be real, we know we actually are
the sluts here."

"Not wrong. But why do you say you have me?"

"You're a dancer."

"A hip hop dancer, not a pole dancer, dumbass."

"No, but you're flexible." He pulls Hyunjin back toward him and hovers over his lips. "I want
you to grind on me."

"Like when we met at that club?"

"Yea. I came back for more for some reason, right?"

"It wasn't the part where I sucked your dick and you came in all of, like, fifteen seconds?"

"Everything about you fucks me up."

"In that case," Hyunjin gives him a chaste kiss and stands up, "do you want me to strip now
or later?"
"I want to help."

"What direction you want me in?"

"I want to see your beautiful face."

"Okay then, Daddy." He sensually sits back down, Changbin scooting forward slightly to
allow Hyunjin to wrap his legs around his lower torso. Hyunjin drops his mouth to
Changbin's neck and starts heavily breathing, dropping the occasional peck onto the skin as
he starts rocking his hips back and forth. Changbin leans his head back and closes his eyes
with the increasing friction, taking his hands and placing them on Hyunjin's hips and gently
rubbing his thumbs under his shirt. Hyunjin smirks mischievously, adding light nibbles and
pressing harder against Changbin's crotch, making him let out a low-pitched huff of air.

"Can I request something?"

"Anything for you, Daddy."

"Turn around?"

"Sick of my beautiful face?"

"I want to see your ass."

Hyunjin doesn't respond, simply raising and climbing back off to stand in front of him.
Changbin sits up and leans toward him, his fingers gravitating toward the drawstring of
Hyunjin's sweatpants. He looks up to a half-smiling Hyunjin, tugs the bow to untie it and
gently shimmying them down his thighs. He lightly wiggles his hips in the name of helping.
The clothing falls and Changbin can see how hard he is through the massive tent in the fabric
right in front of his face.
"Fuck baby." Changbin's hands go back up, taking the band of Hyunjin's underwear and
lifting it just enough that they can hear it smack against the skin as he releases it. Hyunjin
lightly giggles as Changbin's hand wraps around to grab his ass, his mouth lunging forward to
massage the outline of his dick with his mouth. He can feel Hyunjin shudder in his grasp and
he's living for it.

"Stop it, Bin, you're gonna get me going too."

"I can't be having all the fun." Changbin's eyes are heavy as they look back up to make eye
contact, licking the clothed bulge as Hyunjin watches. His mouth opens slightly as he
watches Changbin's tongue. Changbin takes a hand from Hyunjin's ass to move it back to the
front, sliding in the opening and pulling out his stiff cock. Changbin's mouth is already
watering and he takes it in whole, licking and gliding his tongue along the shaft as gently as
he can to heighten the pleasure the love of his life gets. An intense heat pools in Hyunjin's
stomach, his hips naturally swaying, rutting against his mouth.

"Hold on baby," Changbin says after he slowly pops off, "we're not done yet." He shoves
Hyunjin's hard dick back into his underwear and places his hands back on his hips to turn him
around.

"You want me clothed?"

"Yea." Changbin scoots up to the edge of the couch, kissing one of Hyunjin's covered ass
cheeks. "Grind on me, baby."

Hyunjin closes his eyes for a moment to get more into it, his hips passively thrusting forward
and back into the air and Changbin licks his lips. Changbin leans back with his elbows
against the back cushion, Hyunjin backs up slightly so his clothed ass is on Changbin's
pectorals.

"Ready?"

"Yes, baby."
Hyunjin carefully sits down on Changbin's lap, keeping himself elevated on his knees, to
slowly glide down Changbin's chest, paying extra attention to the abs he loves so much and
rubs against them with extra pressure. His hands plant against the coffee table in front of
them so he's got full control and stability. His hips are swaying forward and back against
Changbin's chest, whose hands find a home back at his hips.

"Your body is so amazing."

"Thanks, I've worked hard." Hyunjin teases, resuming to adding pressure along his chest in
slow, vertical motions.

Changbin's eyes start to close as his grip tightens, bound to leave marks. "Jinnie…"

"Yes?"

"Let me fuck you. Please. I need to ruin your beautiful ass."

"I'd be honored." Hyunjin slowly climbs off, turning to face Changbin to stare into his soul as
he slowly and teasingly peels off his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the side.

Changbin can't help himself; his hands go straight for the elastic of Hyunjin's underwear,
pulling both sides down simultaneously, allowing Hyunjin's hard cock to spring out.

"Want me to pleasure you first?"

"That's up to you."

Changbin immediately cups Hyunjin's balls with one hand, massaging them as his tongue
lines a messy strip of saliva down the entire length. Hyunjin's breath hitches, his eyes
fluttering shut as Changbin's mouth starts at the tip, letting Hyunjin's dick spread his lips
open. He spends the next couple of minutes licking, lightly nibbling, and literally sucking
him off as Hyunjin turns to putty.

"Fuck, I…"

"What baby?" He mumbles around his cock before going back to it.

"I'm… I'm gonna…" A loud moan erupts from Hyunjin's lips and Changbin resumes work,
swallowing then popping off to lick off any excess.

"Now it's my turn, baby. On your knees, I'll get behind you."

Hyunjin takes a moment to catch his breath before climbing back onto the couch, elbows on
the arm but head turned over his shoulder as Changbin strips behind him. "You're so fucking
hot."

"Thanks baby." Changbin slides off his pants and underwear together; Hyunjin notices he's
immediately leaking precum.

"No condom?" Hyunjin questions.

"You're the only one I want, Hyunjin. You're the only body I ever want ever again. I have
perfection."

"I regret that question. Just shut up and shove your dick in me."

Changbin giggles as he pulls out a small bottle from the bag he placed on the table, squirts
the liquid into his hands to lather it and massages it onto his dick.

"I love watching you touch yourself."

"I love looking at you as I touch myself."

Hyunjin feels a blush coming, turning back to face the front.

The cushions behind him give in as Changbin sits down, lining himself up. "Ready, baby?"

"Yes."

Changbin very slowly inserts, gradually sliding in to allow Hyunjin to stretch since he didn't
finger him first. Hyunjin's mouth immediately hangs open, head tilting back, and a puff of air
escapes his lips.

Once Changbin bottoms out, he has one hand on his waist for stability but uses his now free
hand to wrap around Hyunjin's neck, pulling him to a more vertical position and pressing
against his ear.

"Just because you're not my mistress anymore doesn't mean we can't fuck like you are."

Hyunjin's immediately excited.

Changbin begins thrusting in and out, adding more pressure on his throat and Hyunjin's eyes
close in the process. His speed and ferocity increase with each insertion and he's starting to
let moans slip.

"Be loud for me, Daddy, let me know how good I feel." He says with bounces every other
word from his body shaking upon impact.

"So… fucking… good…" Changbin breathes out, skin slapping together and his grip
increasing even more. "I'm…"

"Come for me." He whines.

Changbin's breathing is erratic, puffs of air escaping with each push. He lets out one final
groan, relief radiating from his body and his legs become weak. He releases his grip on
Hyunjin's neck, pulls out and abruptly takes Hyunjin's waist to pull him back up. Changbin
digs his face into his back as he tightly hugs him.

"I love you so fucking much, Jin."

Hyunjin lays his hands over Changbin's that are resting over his stomach. "Love you too,
Binnie. Oh, one more thing." He taps Changbin's hand for him to release, rotating to face
Changbin though dropping to his nipple and licking, gently rutting his hips against his leg.

Changbin is caught off guard and immediately exudes some embarrassing noises. "Fuck,
Jin… I don't have… the energy… to go again…"

"That wasn't part of the plan, I just took a detour." He keeps going down, backing his legs
and ass up to allow him to drop to Changbin's groin.

He kisses the tip of Changbin's dick just to go right next to it, to his thigh, and harshly suck.

"Ow," Changbin hisses, "the fuck is that for?"

Hyunjin grins against his skin, kissing the new red spot and raises himself back up. "It was
that or the pecs I love so much. You're lucky I stopped myself when I did. I was about to start
jerking off to your moans."

"Don't tempt me… but what was that, Jin?"

"That'll surely leave a bruise." He leans forward to give Changbin a gentle kiss. "Now
everyone knows your mine."

"No one's getting near this dick but you baby."

"Yea, we'll see about that."

 "Trust me," Changbin gives him a chaste kiss, "you're it for me."

"With a GPS maybe."

"Whatever you want. I want you to trust me, I've spent years trying to gain it back. You're my
world, Jin." He takes Hyunjin's hand. "Must I remind you, I proposed to you unprovoked
after getting divorced for you and thinking for my entire life marriage was a scam. You made
me want to get married for a second time because I genuinely wanted to, not because I felt
pressured to. You changed everything."

"Aren't ultimatums a beautiful thing?" Hyunjin grins as he stands up and grabs his pile of
clothes off the floor. "Whatever. To help me continue to believe you, let's go use your credit
card to buy me some Prada and lobster for lunch."

"Anything for you, baby."

Chapter End Notes

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