Cohesion and Coherence in Writing

The Coherence and cohesion criterion is used to assess how clearly the different elements of your essay are connected and
organised. If you fail to clearly show the connections between your ideas, then you are unlikely to reach above band 6 in Task
response or Coherence and cohesion. Here are some things you need to avoid when writing an essay.

1. Avoid making implications

Some people aim to write in a way that forces the reader (your examiner) to infer their main ideas rather than stating them clearly
and directly. If you are writing in this way, then you are not meeting the criteria that the examiner will use to assess your level. Don’t
try to be witty! If you feel that your argument is easy to understand then you are probably in the right direction.

2. Don’t copy your reading passages

One problem many candidates make is trying to “copy” the writing style they saw in the reading tasks. This is only unnecessarily
making things difficult for you. The writing styles found within the reading texts are meant to test one’s ability to read and infer
information, while the purpose of an essay in writing task 2 is to clearly present a position and argument.

For example:
Reading passage:
You might wonder how we can tell whether fossil animals lived on land or in water, especially if only fragments are found.
Sometimes it’s obvious. Ichthyosaurs were reptilian contemporaries of the dinosaurs with fins and streamlined bodies. The
fossils look like dolphins and they surely lived like dolphins, in the water. With turtles, it is a little less obvious.

Writing task 2:
You might wonder how we can tell whether fossil animals lived on land or in water, especially if only fragments are found.
Sometimes it’s obvious. For example, Ichthyosaurs, which were reptilian contemporaries of the dinosaurs, had fins and
streamlined bodies. Their fossils look like dolphins and they surely lived like dolphins, in the water. However, with turtles, it
is a little less obvious.

The second passage uses a variety of signpost language to make it easier for readers to follow the main idea. These signposts are
absent in the reading passage to increase the difficulty and test the candidates’ skill. However, in the writing task, we’re not writing
a reading passage to test other people, we’re trying to present our argument as clearly as possible.

3. Use signposts like “firstly”, “secondly”, “in addition”

It is very common to see online posts about how certain phrases “cheapen” the quality of your writing. Indeed, there are phrases
that we do need to avoid (from my perception; in recent days, I guess) but there are also useful phrases (First of all; On the other
hand; Nowadays; Some people believe) that are used by academics of the highest levels.

If you are omitting signposts, you are forcing the examiner to work harder to follow your arguments and ideas. This is something
you should not aim for when cohesion and coherence is a criterion on which examiners are assessing you.

However, bear in mind that signposts are not the only thing that shows cohesion in your writing. Referencing, synonyms, and
contextual clues are other ways to connect your ideas. Consider the following example:

1. When native speakers write, they do not always use conjunctions and adverbial linking words and phrases to dearly indicate
how ideas are connected. This link must sometimes be inferred by the reader.

2. When native speakers write, they do not always use conjunctions and adverbial linking words and phrases to dearly indicate
how ideas are connected. As a result, this link must sometimes be inferred by the reader.

TASK 2 PRESENTING AN ARGUMENT

Your essay should present an overall argument, which is itself made up of several shorter arguments. These shorter arguments will
be the main ideas of each of your body paragraphs. They should consist of a conclusion and your main reason for believing it.

Although your main ideas will generally be explained over several sentences within a paragraph, we’ll begin by looking at a simple
one-sentence argument.

Fruit contains vitamin C, which helps us keep healthy, so the government should encourage everyone to eat more fruit.

Now, separate the sentence into a conclusion and reasons for believing in it:
 Conclusion: Reasons:

NOTE:
1. The conclusion does not necessarily come after the reasons. This means we can also write

“The government should encourage everyone to eat more fruit because fruit contains vitamin C, which helps us keep healthy.”

2. Each reason in this argument is called a 'premise’ which means a claim being made by the writer. The writer is asking the
reader to accept that these claims (that fruit contains vitamin C, and vitamin C helps keep us healthy) are true, and that they are
good enough reasons to conclude that the government should encourage everyone to eat more fruit. When you are writing,
you need to make sure that your claims are true (or at least believable), and that they show the reader that
your conclusions are reasonable.

3. You are giving your position every time you make an argument like this one. This means that you do not need to write I believe;
I think, In my view (etc.) to make your position clear; whether your position remains clear or not will depend on the language
you use, and the reasons you provide to support it. Even more importantly, simply writing 'In my view’ (etc.) at the beginning
and end of your essay, and within your body paragraphs, is not enough to make your position clear throughout. Only the
language and reasoning in your argument can do that.

From here, we will look at a problem that can make a conclusion unclear within a paragraph: missing or inaccurate reasoning.
For example, we have this statement:

The government should encourage everyone to eat more fruit.

The reader needs to know how you know this or why you believe it and not including any explanation or reasoning is a problem.

The government should encourage everyone to eat more fruit. For example, a BBC documentary showed that 85% of people eat
fruit.

→ The writer tried to correct his mistake by adding some relevant evidence, but the evidence is not logically connected to the
conclusion.
 TASK 1 P.E.E.L STRUCTURE

After we have looked at how to first present an argument through just one sentence, it is now time to look at the structuring of a full
paragraph. The PEEL method of paragraph writing ensures that you meet all the requirements of a high score. Before we start, you
should know what PEEL stands for:

P: State the Point of your paragraph

E: Give Explanations
E: Give supporting Examples
L: Link your idea back to the question

Now, imagine you want to write a paragraph about this question:

Why do some people fail to achieve work-life balance?

Here’s how you can use the PEEL method to develop your paragraph:

Make a Point
One reason that contributes to work-life imbalance is excessive commitment to the workplace at the expense of health and
relationships.

Explain the point

The ultimate goal of work is to earn a livelihood. However, the workplace is a highly competitive environment and most people
have to deal with an increasingly large amount of workload on a daily basis to meet the demands of their companies. In order
to accomplish this, tremendous time and effort that would otherwise be spent on personal life are sacrificed.

Provide a specific example

This is a common phenomenon among the Japanese, who are often praised for their professionalism, work ethics, and product
quality. All of these are achieved with a strong dedication to working long, late hours. As a result, these people risk damaging
their personal relationships and even face life-threatening situations due to overwork.

Link your idea back to the question

As discussed before, a body paragraph in an essay should have three parts: topic sentence, supporting sentences, and conclusion.
This kind of conclusion is different from the one we use to end an essay. In a paragraph conclusion, we use the argument in the
paragraph and reach some sort of conclusion. It should have three qualities:

● nonrepetitive: paraphrasing your topic sentence will not result in a good conclusion.
● summary: It should wrap everything in the paragraph up.
● cohesive: It should link back to the main topic.

Example:
In short, it is a vicious cycle that is extremely difficult to overcome for many people.

TASK 1 TYPES OF ARGUMENT

1. Adding information
One way to build a clear argument is by presenting the different reasons that, when added together, led you to your conclusion.
Words and phrases often used in this type of argument are: Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly, In addition, Similarly, also, etc.
Look at the example below and try to identify the conclusion and reasons:
 Example 1:
There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. Firstly, the money raised can be used to build new roads or
public buildings. Secondly, existing infrastructure, such as schools and hospitals, can be updated or repaired. Finally, these
funds are needed to pay the salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the police. Thus, taxes help improve
the community while also making it safer.

NOTE:
1. The 'reasons' given in this paragraph are supporting evidence. I used my experience and knowledge of the world to think of
these, which is what the task tells us to do. The points made are personal views about what this evidence shows or tells us.
Remember, each of these points is a conclusion and reveals the position — if the reasons are unclear or illogical, then the
position and conclusions will also be unclear, if they are missing, the ideas will be undeveloped.
2. The points made are broad, general ideas. In contrast, the reasons given are more specific, and they provide
concrete supporting evidence to support the ideas, even though the phrase 'For example' was not used.

We can place more emphasis on certain points to highlight them and avoid a monotonous paragraph
Example 2:
There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. In terms of infrastructure, the money raised can be used to
build new roads or public buildings, or to maintain already existing structures such as schools and hospitals. More
importantly, these funds are needed to pay the salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the police.
Thus, taxes not only help improve the community but also make it safer.

As previously mentioned, there is a style of writing in which cohesive devices and signposts are omitted. However, this is very
difficult to achieve for learners and does NOT increase your scores.
Example 3:
There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. The money raised can be used to build new roads or public
buildings. Existing infrastructure, such as schools and hospitals, can be updated or repaired. The funds are needed to pay the
salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the police.

You might be more comfortable using some cohesive devices in your writing.
Example 4:
There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. The money raised can be used to build new roads or public
buildings. Existing infrastructure, such as schools and hospitals, can also be updated or repaired. Furthermore, the funds
are needed to pay the salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the police.

Remember, all of the above show band 9 writing skills, but example 1 and 4 make life easier for both examiners and candidates.

2. Showing cause and effect

Another way to prove that your conclusions about an issue are reasonable and logical is to show the effect that something has. Note
that the ideas within an argument like this need to be connected in a different way. Rather than separate reasons added together,
these reasons should show that one idea has an impact on a second, and even a third, in a domino effect.

Look at the example below and try to identify the claim being made and the effect it has:

Example:

In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which means many people struggle to find
accommodation. This causes several problems. Firstly, it can put pressure on local charities, who then have to find shelter for
the homeless. Secondly, it could cause rentals to soar as demand surpasses supply, leaving accommodation all the more
unaffordable to the masses.

Causes Effects
NOTE: This type of argument relies on your ability to clearly explain a complex problem and seems to encourage you to produce
complex grammatical structures. Try not to do this just yet and still try to explain even the complex ideas in a clear and simple way.

3. Predicting a result or effect

A progression of this type of argument is predicting a result or effect that is a continuation of previous cause and effect. This type of
argument will use the language of speculation, and such sentences often begin with “if” or “when.” Also remember that your
language will decide how sure you are of the result so think carefully when using the different types of conditional.

Practice: Identify the actions and results in the sentences (1-6) and write them in the table

1. If the government helps homeless people, this will solve all of their problems.
2. When homeless people are given free accommodation, their health often improves as a result.
3. If the government built more affordable housing, then this could improve the situation for many people.
4. When homeless people have nowhere to shelter, winter is extremely difficult for them.
5. Very few people would be upset if taxes were increased in order to help the homeless.
6. If people are unemployed for a long time, they may eventually become homeless.

Action Results

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

6. 6.

→ Look at the language used in the actions and decide if:

A. The action already happens regularly
B. The action is possible in the future
C. The action is less likely to happen in the future

→ Look at the language used to talk about the results of these actions and decide how likely they are to happen.

TASK 2 IN-CLASS FULL PRACTICE

Look at the following statements and write a paragraph supporting them using the PEEL structure:

STATEMENT 1: Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young
people and their ability to form personal relationships.

STATEMENT 2: Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local
inhabitants and the environment.
 TASK 2 TYPES OF ARGUMENT [ADVANCED]

4. Showing contrast

We can provide strong reasoning or give extra support for an idea by making a point about a contrasting idea or argument. This can
be a useful way of finding extra ideas when you are stuck. To get ideas like this, ask yourself, 'What would happen if we didn't have /
do this?' or 'What happens when we don’t have / do this?’ For example, 'What happens if the government doesn't help poor people?"

The words and phrases you might find in this type of argument are:

If … does not... then; Without ...,

Example:
In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which means that many people do not have
anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it can put pressure on local charities, who have to find food and shelter for
the homeless. If the government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this puts even more stress
on community programmes, and causes homelessness to rise even further.

5. Combining types of argument

Practice: Look at the extended example below and point out the statement and the arguments used to support that statement.
Further analyse the types of arguments presented in it.

Example:
In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which means that many people do
not have anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it can put pressure on local charities, who have to find food and
shelter for the homeless. If the government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this puts even
more stress on the community programmes, and causes homelessness to rise even further. In addition, a lack of
accommodation means that house prices and rents remain very high. Thus, housing problems have an impact on everyone in
the community.

Note that when you combine multiple argument types, make sure you clearly connect the different ideas together
 TASK 2 EXPLAINING AND CLARIFYING IDEAS

Certain issues are generally the same in many parts of the world. However, this is not always the case, which is why your ideas need
to be explained further. Take a look at the following arguments:

A: It is important to eat fruit every day, because it contains vitamins that help keep us healthy. Therefore, I completely agree
with the idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

B: Eating fruit makes people feel unwell, and it even affects their ability to work. Therefore, I completely disagree with the
idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

‘A’ makes a fair argument that most people would agree to, while ‘B’ makes an argument in the shoes of a person with fruit
intolerance. In either case, generalisation is being made, which is likely to be false in most cases. Using modal verbs or phrases like
‘sometimes’ or ‘for some people’ can help clarify that this only applies to certain scenarios.

Eating fruit can make some people feel unwell, and it can even affect their ability to work. Therefore, I completely disagree
with the idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

★ Facts and opinions

It is very important to differentiate between a fact and an opinion. A fact is something that can be objectively verified and an
opinion cannot. An excellent example of fact and opinion usually appears in your test question:

There are now millions of cars on the road in most big cities. Pollution from cars is the most important
problem that big cities face today.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the test question, we know that the first sentence is a fact because we can verify it by counting the number of cars on the roads.
We cannot verify the second statement because it is an opinion; we can only discuss it, and decide whether it is a valid argument or
not. This is what your essay must do, which helps to explain why there is no right or wrong answer in task 2.

KEY IDEA: In writing task 2, you will be presented with an argument that you must discuss and respond to, there is no right or
wrong answer. The question will sometimes include a fact that supports the argument being made. You do not need to
discuss this fact, but you should not ignore it - it is there to make the context for your essay clear.

★ Perspectives

You should be cautious when writing about things that are universally, or generally true, and when writing about things that are
only true for you. This matters for bigger ideas too - your country’s education system might not be the same as the examiner’s and it
will not operate by the same rules and standards, which are based on your culture and history. Thus, your ideas on various subjects
like city life, school, society and life in general will reflect your own background and experiences and when you are writing, you have
to ensure your reader can observe these issues from your perspective.

KEY IDEA: When making an argument, make sure the examiner understands your point of view on the subject. Since perspectives
vary, it is crucial that the full context and clear explanations for your claims be given so as to avoid confusion.

★ Language notes

Practice: Read these phrases below and decide if they are used correctly or not. Also decide whether the underlined phrases are
used to:
A. Explain the meaning of something
B. Clarify an idea
C. Show a different way of looking at an issue
D. Show the result or consequence of something
 1) If you have a lot of money you can buy whatever you want, which means that food will never be a problem for you.

2) In addition, sharing the cost of education and healthcare would also prevent people from taking it for granted. This means
that having to pay for the service is equivalent to being more sincere.

3) Local businesses might suffer as they do not have the resources to beat off competition from multinational companies, and
they might be eventually put out of work. This not only means a loss of jobs, but also a loss of traditional products, which
is cause for even greater concern.

4) The possibility of finding the same shops selling the same variety of items in almost every corner of the world can be
alarming. In other words, every country has its own culture with its own particular foods, which allow us to identify it from
every other country.

★ Jumping to conclusion
When not enough time is allowed for critical thinking, we tend to jump to a conclusion that is not logical for the readers. Here is an
example of this:

John has arrived late for work every day this week. Clearly, he is not committed to his job.

The first sentence is a verifiable fact. We can check what time he arrived for work every day. However, the second sentence jumps to
a conclusion about what this fact tells us about John’s attitude to work. There can be several reasons why John was late such as
traffic problems, or an illness.

KEY IDEA: Take time to think carefully about the question - don't jump to a conclusion about what the question means. If you are
interpreting the question from your own perspective, be sure to make this clear to the examiner.

Consider the following examples:

Many people are now spending a lot of time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a
negative development while others think there are some benefits.

First, let us consider the disadvantages of this trend towards driving more. If people drive more and more, our fossil fuels are
likely to be depleted in the very near future. By 2050, it is estimated that human beings will have used up all of the natural
resources if people keep using their vehicles more. Spending more time driving to work also means that people will have less time
at work to do meaningful tasks. If it takes a person about 30 minutes to get to their destination, then they will lose approximately
15 hours a month. That invaluable amount of time could be better spent. In addition, the more time people spend driving, the
more carbon emissions there will be in the atmosphere, which will further exacerbate our current environmental problems.

First, let us consider the disadvantages of this trend. In my country, the vast majority of people drive to school or
work. Therefore, if people are spending more time travelling, this means that they are also driving more and
more. Because of this, our fossil fuels are likely to be depleted in the very near future. In addition, the more people drive, the
more carbon emissions there will be in the atmosphere, which will further exacerbate our current environmental problems.
Spending more time driving to work and school also means that people will have less time to work on important
tasks. If it takes a person about 30 minutes to get to their destination, then they will lose approximately 15 work hours a month.
That invaluable amount of time could be much better spent if people were able to shorten their journeys.

TASK 2 SUPPORTING & STRENGTHENING YOUR ARGUMENTS

As we have previously discussed, it is important to provide evidence that helps readers understand your main argument and shows
your thinking. There is no ‘supporting evidence’ in band 6 TR criteria, which means in order to achieve band 7 and over, you must
include examples.

A. SUPPORTING YOUR ARGUMENTS: EXAMPLES

★ Common problems with examples

1. Template filling and invented examples

In many band 6 essays, each paragraph contains a separate sentence with an example. These are often just invented statistics that
sound odd and rarely help to explain or support the main idea. Such examples are provided mechanically and often at the end of the
paragraph. Try to think “How can I prove this point?” rather than “I need to write an example.”.
 Example:

To tackle this long-term problem, governments should provide a corporate tax incentive when they hire experienced people.
That is to say that a lower income tax on the profits of companies would allow employers to hire the right people to perform the
right job, without the need to lower HR fees. For example, a similar initiative was launched by the United States government in
San Francisco, California, which has resulted in Tesla’s yearly corporate taxes to be reduced by 35%.

Practice: Point out the main ideas and see if the arguments and examples offer relevant support.

Main idea

Argument

Example

KEY IDEA: Adding a sentence with an invented example will not provide supporting evidence for your ideas, or persuade the
reader to believe them.

2. Examples that are not examples

In many essays, examples given are not examples at all - they are just repetition of the previous idea.

Example:

On the other hand, if good transportation is provided to the public they will travel by public transport. For example, fast
metro trains are provided to people who go to work and students who go to school or colleges in the morning. In addition, if
there are buses on different routes that cover all the important destinations, such as downtown, hospitals, schools, and factory
areas, people are more likely to use them. An example of this is, in London, people prefer to travel by buses because buses
are fast and they go to famous places in the city.

Locate the claims and examples in the previous paragraph. Can you give better examples for the claims?

Your attempt

3. Using a trivial idea to support a serious or extreme conclusion

Example:

Some people may say that this is definitely a positive trend because it helps them save time and money. This is because nowadays
it is no longer necessary to buy a plane ticket and spend 5 hours to get to the U.S to buy a Zara handbag. In my experience, this
 mindset genuinely reflects human nature since many of us have a tendency to think about our own interests first. On the societal
level, the results may be catastrophic if this is the case. Perhaps the worst-case scenario is that the global tourism industry
may collapse.

Practice: Look at the example and locate the conclusion and the supporting evidence for that conclusion. Decide if there is a logical
connection between the two.

KEY IDEA: If your main ideas and conclusions are extreme, but your examples are trivial, then they will not support your
argument. Apply critical thinking to produce the right evidence for a clear, well-developed argument.

B. STRENGTHENING YOUR ARGUMENT: COUNTERARGUMENTS

1. Presenting a counterargument

Making counterarguments in your essay is a high-level skill, and the problems associated with this idea are complex. Consider this
example:

I'm going to take the job because it's a really good opportunity. I know you might think that I'll miss out on getting a promotion,
but the pay is better, and I think I'll learn so much more if I go.

When reaching a decision, make sure you have considered all sides of the issue:
Presenting an argument: I'm going to take the new job because it's a really good opportunity.
Acknowledging a counterargument: I know you might think that I'll miss out on getting a promotion.
Refuting the counterargument: But the pay is better and I think I'll learn so much more.

Acknowledging the counterargument in this way makes the argument stronger than simply saying, 'I've decided to take the job
because it's a really good opportunity and I will learn a lot in the new job.'

2. The problem with counterargument

❖ Misunderstanding the purpose

When presenting a counterargument, you might be able to concede a point, but it is always important to refute it, showing
why you do not hold the same position. Band 6 or 6.5 candidates often present the counterargument in a way that suggests they
agree with it, which is not only confusing for the reader but also means that their own position is not made clear throughout. In
effect, band 6.5 candidates present a counterargument like this:

I've decided to take the new job because it's a good opportunity. It is a terrible idea. I will miss out on a promotion here. and I will
struggle a lot in the new job. Therefore, I have decided to leave.

KEY IDEA: If you are presented with one viewpoint and asked if you agree or disagree with it, or to what extent you agree or
disagree. you should only discuss on one side if you are confident that you can:
● cover all parts of the task
● make your own position clear throughout
● avoid repeating the same key ideas
This same also applies if you concede and refute the points in the counterargument.

❖ A lack of a clear central idea:

The examiner is not taking your reading test, he or she is looking for a clear central topic in each paragraph and assessing your
answer based on this. DON’T hide the main idea or topic - if the examiner cannot find it, they cannot reward it.

❖ The position is not clear THROUGHOUT

Make sure that THROUGHOUT your entire paragraph, you stick with your one position and always make it clear using phrases and
expressions to show your opinion. Also make sure that the counterarguments are only presented using opinions of OTHERS and
NOT YOURS.

❖ Perspective problems
Since most counterarguments will be from less general perspectives and contexts, it is important that you make sure to clarify any
information related to the context, such as the characteristics of the people who believe the counterargument or the conditions that
would make the counterargument seem logical.
 TASK 2 IN-CLASS FULL PRACTICE

In-class exercise 1: Look at the following position and counterargument and write a paragraph using them.

Position: Athletes and actors are paid too much for the services they give.
Counterargument: They provide entertainment for relaxation.
Argument that will refute counterargument: There are other essential jobs that are not receiving enough pay.

Try to :
● have one clear central topic
● concede a point in the counterargument
● refute this counterargument
● make your position and perspective clear

Your attempt:

In-class exercise 2: Look at the following statement and write a paragraph agreeing or disagreeing with it while presenting a
counterargument:

STATEMENT 1: When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

TASK 2 HOMEWORK

Look a the following statement and write a paragraph agreeing or disagreeing with it while presenting a counterargument:

STATEMENT 2: Parents and schools should be allowed to physically punish children.

STATEMENT 3: Athletes and actors are paid too much for the services they give.