Catherine Called Birdy 2022

CATHERINE CALLED BIRDY
Written by
Lena Dunham
Based on the book by Karen Cushman

EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- DAY
A sunny day for a cottage-raising! All the villagers are

helping, mixing daub (mud + straw) to construct a peasant’s
house. Children play. Baby hogs run amok as they are chased
by a pig farmer.
It’s all business as usual, a well oiled machine, until one

irascible GIRL hurls a bunch of daub at a BOY. In turn, the
boy hurls some daub at the girl, who responds by dumping a
bucket of the stuff over his head. Soon all the other kids
are hurling daub too. Now the adults. It’s a daub fight! More
villagers join in and soon they all look like clay figurines,
covered in mud, a gleeful abstraction.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- MOMENTS LATER- MORNING
The year: 1290. The place: a manor house- not the nicest but
not the worst either, the 13th Century equivalent of a large
suburban home that hasn’t been painted since the 1980s. Light
shines through the windows onto glinting gold goblets.
Tapestries hang luxuriously. Harp music wafts through like a
gentle dream. Barry Lyndon would fucking love this place.
Suddenly a crash and a boom as a mutt barks and runs through

the hall, followed by a goat, a pig, another goat, a sheep
and the muddy BOY and then behind them the muddy GIRL, her
mousy hair streaming behind her. Even as she bolts we can
tell she’s a mess, all elbows and knees and reckless energy,
like an Olde English Eloise/Matilda combo. This is Catherine,
also known as Little Bird, but to us she’s BIRDY.
Birdy: our protagonist, a playful 14-year-old with a sharp

bite of disdain for the conventions of her time. She shrieks
past animals and servants and the boy and up the stairs,
calling for MORWENNA, her nurse (an inward sparkplug, never
smiling but always amused. She is carrying a fire poker and
her apron is covered in soot.)
BIRDY
Morwenna! MORWENNA! I NEED
MORWENNA!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S HALLWAY- MOMENTS LATER-

MORNING
The boy, PERKIN, a goatherd with a limp and a pubescent

emerging mustache, knocks at Birdy’s chamber door.
2.
PERKIN
Birdy, the game’s not through!
You’re always quitting, you piddle-
pie!
BIRDY (O.S.)
GO AWAY, PERKIN!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- MOMENTS LATER-

MORNING
A lady-like room adorned with tapestries, a canopy bed, a

birdcage full of colorful little cockatiels imported from
exotic lands. Inks, paints and vellum on the massive, carved
mahogany desk. Abandoned spinning at the base of her bed,
yarn tumbling to the floor. Bottles of stolen ale, half a
loaf of bread, evidence of her laziness (she is doing
everything she can to distress her surroundings.)
MORWENNA
And to think I just bathed you a
fortnight ago! What a waste.
Cottage-raisings are not for young
ladies.
BIRDY
Morwenna, I did it! I released the
pigs and I am not ashamed! They are
only headed to slaughter and I will
not allow other animals to live
lives of captivity like mine!
MORWENNA
Like yours? Birdy, you are the most
well fed captive I know.
BIRDY
And anyhow, I have a matter more
pressing.
(she leans in to whisper)
Perkin has just told me how babies
are made and I am afraid I shall
perish with revulsion.
Morwenna shakes her head, starts to fold some scattered

clothing items- she is used to her young charge’s outbursts.
MORWENNA
You had to learn sooner or later,
Birdy. You’re fourteen, there’s no
need to spin your head.
3.
BIRDY
Morwenna, am I to move on calmly
with what I know now? A man is
going to take a heated iron poker
and stick it up my nose until
there’s a space big enough for his
whole thumb, after which he will
PRESS seeds into my BRAIN!?
Morwenna starts to laugh.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
And then they trickle down my
throat to my guts where they take
root for nine months before popping
out my bum!? NO! NO!
Morwenna is laughing even harder, unable to contain her

desperate amusement, until Birdy understands she’s been had.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Oh, I shall murder Perkin! He will
bleed worse than if I stuck a spike
up his--
Over Birdy’s raging, her VO rises.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Corpus bones! It is I, Birdy.
OVER THE IMAGE, A HAND WRITES, AS IF ON AN ILLUMINATED

MANUSCRIPT:
CATHERINE CALLED BIRDY.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- SAME TIME- MORNING
This is Birdy’s father, LORD ROLLO’S man cave, hung with

variously sized antlers and evidence of violent past times.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am the Daughter of Lord Rollo.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Lord Rollo
- 41 years of age
- often vain
- usually drunk
- always greedy (says me)
He takes a drink. Then another.

4.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And the Lady Aislinn.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN’S CHAMBERS- SAME TIME-

MORNING
Her mother LADY AISLINN (early 30s, frail and stunning,

obedient but not broken) peers from a window with a spyglass;
a small wooden telescope device. Her eyes are trained on the
sky until she whip pans to her child- she is always watching.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Lady Aislinn
- 36 years of age
- wise of spirit and fair of face (says everyone)
BIRDY (V.O.)
In charge of Morwenna, the
nursemaid.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- YARD- SAME TIME- MORNING
Outside, Morwenna hangs sheets on a line while spying on

Birdy.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Morwenna
- nobody knows her age!
- expert at sneaking
BIRDY (V.O.)
Sister to Edward the monk...
INT. ABBEY BEDROOM - SAME TIME- MORNING
EDWARD (21, a handsome dark-haired monk) sits in his robe at

his desk, intently reading (not the Bible).
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Edward the Monk

- 21 years of age
- more fun than most monks.
BIRDY (V.O.)
... And to the abominable Robert.
5.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- YARD- SAME TIME- MORNING
Birdy runs past the gate house, where she gags at the sight
of her brother ROBERT (18, a mini-me of his pops, who is
himself fencing the air ineffectually.)
ROBERT
Birdy, leave me be please.
Birdy grabs Robert’s sword from him, unwieldy and massive in

her hand, and does big bold moves at the sky. Her father,
sweaty and exhausted, passes her, grabbing it back in one
easy motion.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Of the village of Stonebridge in
the shire of Lincoln, in the
country of England, in the hands of
God.
Birdy greets Perkin, the goat boy with a limp who she chased
earlier. He is cheerful and determined despite the challenge
of running with a disability.
PERKIN
(singing in old English)
Put your clothes on; don’t refuse
Breeches, gloves, and also shoes;
Birdy joins him singing and they hold hands and spin.
BIRDY AND PERKIN

Hat on head for rain or sun;
Buttons – do up every one.
They collapse laughing.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And friend of Perkin, my heart’s
brother. Although he is just a goat
boy, he is kind of heart and wise
of spirit.
He sticks his butt out and farts at her.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Though he is sorely afflicted with
wind in his bowls.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- MORNING
Birdy toils over her spinning, tangling it.

6.
BIRDY (V.O.)
14th Day of August.
The date loops across the screen in the same wobbly cursive
as the title.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Tangled my spinning again. What a
torture. I would rather be fed to a
stroppy dragon than try and spin
like a lady.
She is corrected by Morwenna, who has clearly surrendered her

own life in service of raising a good young noblewoman.
INT./EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- PRIVY- AFTERNOON
Birdy runs, her tangled spinning in her hands, and deposits

it in the toilet.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am, thank the lord, very cunning.
Most girls are, though we are not
given due credit for it.
Using a long stick, Birdy stuffs the spinning deeper into the
actual hole that the people of the manor, ahem, piss and shit
in.
BIRDY (V.O.)
But I have a fantastic update. I
have made a bargain with my mother.
I may forego spinning, my greatest
agitation of all, as long as I
write this account of my days for
my brother, Edward the monk.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- NIGHT
Birdy, wearing her nightdress, sits at her desk and writes in

her little book.
BIRDY (V.O.)
In his letters, he tells me he
believes it will help me grow less
childish and more learned.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- AFTERNOON
Birdy runs, overjoyed.

7.
BIRDY (V.O.)
So what follows will be my book-
the book of Catherine, called
Little Bird or Birdy.
She moves toward camera and then just past it.
INT./EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GOAT BARN- DAY
Birdy sits on the hay, looking through a bound book of Latin

phrases. Next to her sits Perkin.
Nearby MEG (lovely, a little older than Birdy, in modern

parlance a ditz) is braiding something. She shyly ties it
around Birdy’s wrist.
MEG
A golden braid for my golden lady.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Meg
- 18 years of age
- comely dancer
- snorty laugher
BIRDY (V.O.)
Meg the dairy maid is a dear
friend, when I can stop her from
curtsying and my lady-ing me.
BIRDY
This is hay but I do love the
sentiment. It’s beautiful.
(back to her book)
Est pater meus animalis!
(she smiles)
It means my father is a beast. The
best words I’ve learned. You are so
lucky your father is dead.
PERKIN
Birdy, I’m still actually quite
upset about that...
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- DAY
Birdy continues to mindlessly spin yarn with Morwenna.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My truest passions are avoiding my
chores.
8.
Outside the window she watches...
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- MORNING
On the grass in front of the manor, Birdy’s father Lord Rollo

passes, drunkenly fencing a peasant. This is a man who was,
at one point, beautiful and naughty, playful and present. But
the cost of running a village, of trying to win at Lordship,
is that you must fight to maintain convention. And he is
fighting.
ROLLO
Fight harder!
The peasant fights back.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Now, less hard! I want to win!
BIRDY (V.O.)
Critiquing my father’s horrible
swordplay.
Birdy walks through their flower garden.
ROLLO
Birdy, walk upon the paths! What
are you, a milkmaid?
BIRDY
I didn’t see a path!
Her father drops his sword to tend to the flowers.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Disrupting cottage-raises.
Birdy runs through the village with a chicken in her arms. A

villager chases after her.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Causing mischief in the village.
VILLAGER
Hey! You stole my chicken!
9.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HALL OUTSIDE SOLAR- DAY
Birdy lies on the ground, listening through the crack under

the door.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And listening thru doors I should
not listen thru.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- SAME TIME- DAY
Rollo speaks to a nerdy, uptight STEWARD, who looks way too

young for the job and is clearly panicked.
ROLLO
How has this happened, Finneas!?
You were hired to prevent this!
The Steward paces, concerned.
STEWARD
In essence, sir? You have ignored
me. You have spent profligately, my
lord, and without censure.
ROLLO
I cannot have spent so much.
(considering)
Give me one example of an expense
that was not strictly necessary for
my family to survive!
STEWARD
Really?
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- DAY (FLASHBACK)
A cart approaches, driven by a swarthy TIGER SALESMAN. Rollo,

Robert and Birdy await, thrilled.
ROLLO
My tiger has arrived!!!
The back of the cart opens and Rollo peers inside.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
It is dead!
TIGER SALESMAN
The travel was harsh from Siberia,
lord.
10.
Beat.
ROBERT
Mayhap it is just sleeping father?
BIRDY
Tis not breathing, you fool.
ROLLO
(unfazed)
How soon may I have another?
Watching through her spyglass, Aislinn shakes her head.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- PRESENT MOMENT- DAY
Rollo moans.
ROLLO
Am I to live like a peasant, on
bread and water and chat alone?
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HALL OUTSIDE SOLAR- SAME TIME- DAY
Birdy is still spying when a hunting dog (the same one from
the first scene) comes bounding down the hall. It notices
Birdy and begins to bark.
BIRDY
Shhh!
It growls, tugging at her skirt. She tries to crawl away but

it keeps on tugging. She stands, dragging the dog down the
hall with its jaw firm around her skirts.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
(muttering)
Untooth me, hound!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- DAY
Disrupted by the dog, Birdy misses what is next:
STEWARD
If, sir, you can secure a
profitable union for your only
daughter, there is your opportunity
to relieve yourself of this
accumulated debt.
11.
ROLLO
A profitable union? For Birdy?
STEWARD
Yes.
ROLLO
With a man?
STEWARD
Yes.
ROLLO
No, no, no. She’s disgusting! She’s
one step away from a leper.
Awkward beat.
STEWARD
You may not have coins, but your
wife has a title, and she has given
it to you--
ROLLO
I earned it!
STEWARD
(ignoring this)
There are plenty of men foolish
enough to trade their fortune for
the prefix of Lord. Now, it is your
job to find one.
ROLLO
(quieter)
Sir, there must be another
answer... She is my only daughter.
STEWARD
And this is your only manor.
The steward bows and exits.
STEWARD (CONT’D)
My lord.
Rollo lets the shame of his failure wash over his face for a
beat, then reaches for the flask in his waist belt.
12.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- KITCHEN- DAY
Birdy is gnawing on an apple, avoiding the wormhole, when she

feels a pair of eyes on her back. It is her father, regarding
her studiously.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Something is astir.
She takes another cautious bite.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I can feel my father’s eyes
following me wherever I go.
Birdy takes a step to the left. Her father, behind her, does
the same- an odd waltz.
BIRDY (V.O.)
He is regarding me as he would a
bull bought for breeding.
He circles her, looking her up and down.
ROLLO
Exactly how old are you?
Beat.
BIRDY
I am fourteen years.
Beat.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am surprised that he has not
asked to examine my hooves.
ROLLO
Have you all your teeth?
BIRDY
All but one.
ROLLO
And you are certainly a good eater.
What color is your hair when it is
clean?
BIRDY
When it’s clean? Blue?
13.
ROLLO
(giving up)
Very good. Nice to see you. Go and
see your little goat friend now.
BIRDY (V.O.)
What is brewing here?
Rollo walks away down the hall.
ROLLO
(sotto, convincing
himself)
Fourteen. That isn’t that young...
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- PRIVY- AFTERNOON
Birdy opens the door, clutching her guts, and slams it shut.
She settles onto the toilet, holding up her skirts, when she
catches sight of her petticoat. Her eyes grow wide.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- MOMENTS LATER-

AFTERNOON
Birdy paces, inconsolable, while Morwenna tries to

understand.
BIRDY
I am dying. It is plain to see.
MORWENNA
Oh, what did Perkin tell you this
time?
Birdy brandishes her bloody petticoat from behind her back.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
In the name of the father, Birdy!
BIRDY
I must say my goodbyes and get on
with good humor. I will go bravely,
and with God in my heart. Please
give my brooch to my future sister
and my bible to my brother Edward
and tell him I am sorry I got
pudding upon the pages.
(beat)
You see, the blood came from my
bum.
14.
MORWENNA
(skeptical)
Your bum?
Birdy spreads her skirts and her spindly legs. Morwenna

shakes her head then looks (despite her inherent prudishness,
keeping this child alive is her job.)
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
Oh, for the love of a God greater
than I. Birdy, it comes from the
other hole.
BIRDY
What other hole?
MORWENNA
It is your monthly tiding. The lady
in red. So, you will do your duty
to bear your husband children.
On Birdy’s face, a look of alarm as she shakes her head

furiously: no, no, no.
BIRDY
Then I shall run away. Far. I shall
steal a suit of armor and become a
knight, and I shall take a horse
and carriage and I shall ride at
midnight--
MORWENNA
Dress as a knight or dress as a
lady, the blood will come. You are
a woman now, Birdy.
BIRDY
A woman?
Morwenna snaps to.
MORWENNA
First of all we are going to make a
pad. Rag gets wrapped around hand.
She does.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
Make it good and thick.
She hands it to Birdy.

15.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
That is a nice wee pad that sits in
your pants.
Morwenna holds up a piece of fabric.
BIRDY
Are they my father’s?
MORWENNA
No. These are your pants.
BIRDY
My pants?
MORWENNA
Give me the pad.
Birdy hands it over and Morwenna places the pad in the pants.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
This goes up between your legs and
it’s going to get all the blood and
keep it away from your clothes. Can
you manage that?
BIRDY
Yes I can, Morwenna.
Morwenna bends down. Birdy roughly steps through the pants.
MORWENNA
Don’t do that! Just be careful.
BIRDY
I am!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HERB GARDEN- DAY
Morwenna shows Birdy how to gather medicinal herbs.
MORWENNA
Now get some mint, cause that makes
the whole thing taste nice.
Dandelion, but not the flower,
obviously, is perfect for those
cramps.
Birdy looks past the bushes and spies Perkin and villagers
GERD and ALF, running with a lamb they have dressed in
clothes.
16.
BIRDY
Alf! Do you have your mom’s
knickers on Wendy’s head?
MORWENNA
Oh Perkin... what’s he up to now?
Dressing up farm animals. A lamb
should be dressed in mint sauce,
not a hat!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- LATE AFTERNOON
Morwenna stands over Birdy, who sits on the bed, tying the
rags around herself.
MORWENNA
All those herbs that we picked?
We’re going to make tea into your
favorite cup.
BIRDY
It is my favorite cup.
MORWENNA
I know.
Morwenna mixes the tea.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
And swirl and dip.
She hands the cup to Birdy.
MORWENNA (CONT’D)
Take a sip and the pain will be
gone.
Birdy chugs the tea that Morwenna brewed, nearly spitting up.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- NIGHT
Morwenna snores, while Birdy clutches her tummy, resigned to

this horrible feeling but unaware of what it truly means for
her future.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN’S CHAMBER- MORNING
The nicest room in the house, with tapestries and carved

ivory animals from foreign lands. On a bed as vast as the sea
sits Aislinn, who we can now see is heavily pregnant and
visibly uncomfortable.
17.
Up close we can also see she has a burn scar on her neck,
ropey and thick, the only blemish to her beauty. Birdy busts
through the door.
From under the bedsheets, her father emerges, dressing

himself undergarments first. Aislinn giggles. Her husband
giggles back. Birdy is horrified- her parents GIGGLE TOGETHER
in the morning!?
BIRDY
(looking away)
What were you doing?
ROLLO
Birdy, knocking is a bit customary,
though I know not in the public
houses you frequent.
BIRDY
I have never been to a public
house. Mumma, he lies!
ROLLO
I am not lying, I am jesting. But
in all seriousness I did see Bird
in a public house. She was knocking
back glasses of ale, swearing,
jousting peasants--
BIRDY
Mumma!
AISLINN
Well I, for one, should like my
room free of jesters for the
moment. I should like to rest and
do my puzzles.
ROLLO
But I have more jests. What did the
Pope say to the ale rat?
BIRDY
What?
Rollo kisses his wife.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Wait, but what did the Pope say to
the ale rat!?
ROLLO
What did the Pope say to the ale
rat? What are you talking about?
18.
BIRDY
The jest!
ROLLO
Has she gone mad?
Rollo heads for the exit.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
What Pope?
BIRDY
(calling after)
Father!
He stops in the doorway, smiles, and turns to face her.
ROLLO
Oh yes. Ummm...
Rollo closes the door and escapes without answering, Aislinn

laughs. Birdy waits a beat then approaches her mother. We can
tell she is planning to tell her something...
BIRDY
Mumma?
AISLINN
Yes, Bird?
BIRDY
I have something to tell you. It is
rather serious and I hope...
Aislinn lets out a little cry, clutching her stomach.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Mumma? Are you alright!?
AISLINN
Yes, Bird, just a little kick...
What was it you wanted to say?
Birdy regards her mother’s growing stomach, huge against the

bed sheets, with terror. Reminded of what periods lead to,
Birdy suddenly thinks much better of it.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Maybe now is not a good time and
perhaps I shall wait... forever.
Birdy changes topic.

19.
BIRDY
Mother, there is a hanging today in
Rutherford--
AISLINN
A hanging?
BIRDY
An ever so small one! Can I maybe
just...
AISLINN
(amused)
Absolutely forbidden.
BIRDY
But Robert goes to all the
hangings!
AISLINN
Robert is Robert. And you are not.
Anyhow, today the Sidebottoms will
join us. Your favorite day of the
month.
Birdy shrugs.
AISLINN (CONT’D)
Come here to me child!
Aislinn pulls Birdy to her side.
AISLINN (CONT’D)
Rest with your weary mother.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN’S CHAMBER- LATER- DAY
Birdy and Aislinn take turns with the spyglass to watch a

carriage containing AELIS, LADY BERENICE, and LORD SIDEBOTTOM
pull up to Stonebridge Manor. We see through the spyglass, a
distant and distorted bird’s eye view, a shot we will return
to again and again to explain Aislinn’s view of the manor and
the world- distant and removed, yet all-seeing and knowing.
Birdy eagerly waves to her best friend, Aelis.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Today Aelis comes. She is a dearest
friend to me.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Aelis
- 16 years of age
20.
- prettiest girl in the shire and MY BEST FRIEND
BIRDY (V.O.)
And when I see her face I hear
birds and whistles, I see ribbons
and flowers. Oh, Aelis!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR ROAD- SIDEBOTTOM FAMILY CART- DAY
Aelis, Berenice, and Lord Sidebottom are packed into the cart
as tight as sardines, and jostle into each other
uncomfortably as it bumps down the road.
Aelis is everything Birdy is not. If they had proms in, she

would be prom queen. If they had Instagram, six million
followers would wait for her makeup tutorials. Face like a
heart, mahogany curls, and kind to boot.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM, Aelis’s father, is nearing seventy but still

clanking his old bones together in a push chair that rolls
between the two seats.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
LORD GIDEON SIDEBOTTOM

- 81 years of age
- oldest man in his province
- oldest father in England
- wears his armour to sleep
BERENICE, Aelis’s gorgeous young stepmum, looks a thousand

times more bored than AISLINN. She is rife with the ennui of
entrapment.
Aelis leans over the cart’s edge and shyly returns Birdy’s
joyful wave.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- COURTYARD- MOMENTS LATER- DAY
Birdy and Aelis have sequestered themselves gleefully from

the grownups on a bench. Aelis bends down behind Birdy,
playing with her hair.
AELIS
Your hair is so long Birdy. You
need to brush it.
BIRDY
I’m going to grow it all the way
down to my feet.
21.
They are ambushed by Robert as he exits the Great Hall while

munching on a stolen meat pie. He doesn’t notice Aelis.
ROBERT
(groaning)
Birdy, you must give me some kind
of warning...otherwise the sight of
your countenance...
He pretends to vomit and drops chewed-up meat pie into his

hand.
AELIS
Hello, Robert.
Robert, not having noticed Aelis, turns scarlet and tries to

hide his chewed-up meat pie in his other hand. Gross. He
chucks it aside.
ROBERT
(flustered)
Lady Sidebottom! Aelis! How goodly
to see you! You are looking
rather... pinkened.
AELIS
(giggling)
Robert, you are ever so pink
yourself.
BIRDY ROBERT
Leave us be! Do you ladies need an
escort round the garden? It can be
very dangerous...
BIRDY
Please go, you death monger!
Robert exits into the Great Hall.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GARDEN- MOMENTS LATER- DAY
Rollo and Aislinn stand awkwardly with Lord Sidebottom and

Berenice, like parents at the playground with nothing in
common.
AISLINN
The roses have been exceptional
this season. And of course, the
butterflies.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
I hate butterflies.
22.
Berenice walks away from the group in distaste. Aislinn walks

away to the end of the garden to escape the uncomfortable
conversation and smells some flowers. She looks out in
thought. Rollo and Lord Sidebottom are left alone.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM (CONT’D)

We have already had five or six
serious inquiries.
ROLLO
Oh, is that so?
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
And some of these letter are florid
in the extreme. But I don’t care if
they’re poets, Rollo- I care if
they can pay for my daughter in
gold brick.
Rollo laughs nervously.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- COURTYARD- DAY
Birdy pulls a bun out of her pocket and hands it to Aelis.
BIRDY
Welcome to Stonebridge, Lady Aelis.
AELIS
You have buns!
BIRDY
We used to have more buns. Cakes
too!
(whispered)
I think we may be poor now.
AELIS
Oh. Well, we are not poor but there
is nothing to eat at our manor.
Papa banished the baker a fortnight
ago. He said that he and stepmother
were... exchanging wistful glances.
They start to munch but are surprised by Berenice walking

straight past them and sitting on the bench.
Aelis hides her bun behind her back.
AELIS (CONT’D)
My lady. I promise I’m not spoiling
my supper.
23.
BERENICE
I do not give a goat’s arse what
you spoil, Aelis. I am not your
mother, do not cower before me.
Lord Sidebottom directs Rollo to push him toward her, clearly

unaware of his waning powers.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
Berenice, never again will you
leave a convivial grouping when I
am speaking. I was about to make a
point of great import--
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Lady Berenice Side Bottom

- 25 years of age
- devoted writer of passionate sonnets
- devoted hater of her husband
BERENICE
Well, I go where I want and I say
what I please.
AELIS
(whispering to Birdy)
She’s been writing the most tragic
poetry.
Birdy and Aelis giggle.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HERB GARDEN- AFTERNOON
The girls sit on a stone bench in a picturesque garden of

flowers and medicinal herbs.
AELIS
Do you know that my stepmother was
brought to our manor from Gascony?
First by boat, then by carriage. It
took many nights and nobody told
her where she was going. She was
only in her seventeenth year. Then
father was waiting.
(beat)
He sent away for a wife the day
after my mother died.
BIRDY
(knowingly)
Men are horribly duplicitous
creatures.
(MORE)
24.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
I should like to take a carriage.
With you, Aelis! And we would have
adventures. Grand ones.
AELIS
How will we escape?
BIRDY
I will steal a knight’s armor. Or a
monk’s robes.
AELIS
And where will you go?
BIRDY
Well, Uncle George writes to me of
the crusades-
AELIS
(teasing voice)
Uncle George, Uncle George, Uncle
George. All you speak about is
Uncle George!
BIRDY
He comes soon, Aelis! He does! You
know he is my best uncle!
AELIS
He is your only uncle!
The girls giggle. Birdy pinches Aelis’s cheek.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- MORNING
CORNETHIA, a pretty young nun, helps Aelis and Birdy play a

tune on a recorder. Aelis sounds lovely. Birdy’s screeches.
In the background, several men carry away valuable items-

panes of glass, sculptures, a few nice vases- as Rollo and
Aislinn look on, Rollo tortured and Aislinn running to and
fro to ensure that the items are being handled with care.
BIRDY (V.O.)
As the time approaches when I must
wed, I must undertake lady lessons.
My two least favorite words.
Together. In one terrible phrase.
CORNETHIA
Gently, young ladies. A gentle hand
plays a soothing tune.
25.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Sister Cornethia attempts to make
me musical, pious, and full of
grace for any suitor who may court.
Cornethia turns around and two hand prints of dirt are on the
bum of her habit. The girls giggle.
CORNETHIA
Do we find our lessons ever so
funny? Seems to me a joke is astir.
Birdy raises her hands, covered in charcoal dust, then

quickly hides them behind her back.
BIRDY (V.O.)
But she will find she has no easy
job.
Birdy giggles to herself. When Aelis then giggles too, she

stops, icing Aelis out. She is being petty.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN'S CHAMBER- MIDNIGHT
A single candle burns as NAN the midwife, Aislinn’s

chambermaid and women from the kitchen labor over Aislinn’s
body, as Aislinn labors in birth. Aislinn sits on a birthing
stool by her bed, Nan below her, Morwenna at her side.
AISLINN
Ahhhh. Ahhhh.
MORWENNA
(whispered)
O God, the Protector of all that
trust in Thee, increase and
multiply upon us Thy mercy; Amen.
In the hall, Birdy, Rollo and Robert watch. Morwenna comes to

the door and exchanges a look with Rollo that says “It’s
time.” He heads inside.
BIRDY
No, I want to meet the baby!
AISLINN
Birdy, please. Go for Mumma.
BIRDY
Why does he get to meet the baby!?
26.
MORWENNA
(harsh whisper)
Only God shall meet this baby.
She ushers the kids down the hall.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I will never get used to babies
becoming dead and my heart will
never stop aching for them to live.
Birdy, squatting, pulls the bloody rags from her skirt, then
hides them between two floor boards, using a stick to push
them deeper still.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I continue to hide my rags so that
my father will not make me a wife
and a mother. I will keep hiding
them over and over, forever.
EXT. ABBEY- COURTYARD- DAY
Birdy enters through a pair of large French doors, into an

open courtyard of corridors surrounding a garden.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My mother usually visits Edward at
the Abbey this time of year, but
she still loses blood from the
birth, so my father insists I go in
her place. We are too poor to offer
the monks any pies anymore. I
simply bring myself.
We hear humming. Birdy notices the centerpiece of the

courtyard, a sculpture of a truly ripped Jesus on the cross.
Birdy stares at him. His abs are a LOT. The humming grows
closer and a group of monks round the corner. The camera is
high, so we see their shuffling slippers and the tops of
their tonsure haircuts. The leader, a handsome salt and
pepper haired monk, bows his head and they all do the same.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I always imagined that Edward lived
among God fearing nutters and rusty
old men who clutched their Bibles
to their chests.
27.
As the camera pans down, we see they are not, in fact, old
nutters but young virile men. Birdy gasps. They grow closer,
singing more prayers as they walk.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Ooo lala! These are monks?? Why has
no one told me? I am ever so
confused what God is getting out
here.
She walks around looking for a place to tuck away and settles
on darting into the garden and sitting down by the Jesus
sculpture.
As the monks pass, one especially handsome dark-haired one

notices her- this is EDWARD.
EDWARD
Catherine!?
He nods an apology to an irritated monk and rushes over.
EDWARD (CONT’D)
(hissed)
Whatever are you doing?
Panicked, Birdy pats the bum of the Jesus sculpture.
BIRDY
Just visiting an old friend!
EDWARD
Get off Jesus!
INT. ABBEY CLOISTERS- MOMENTS LATER- DAY
Birdy shuffles along under Edward’s robe, hugging him from

behind. Edward looks ultra-serious in an attempt to hide his
stowaway. He nods at another MONK.
EDWARD
Deus sit apud vos.
MONK
Deus sit apud vos.
INT. ABBEY BEDROOM- MOMENTS LATER- DAY
Birdy emerges from her brother’s robe, panting, and looks

around.
28.
BIRDY
How was I to know that comely young
women are a spiritual danger to
monks!?
EDWARD
You are no danger to anyone but
yourself. Does mother heal?
BIRDY
In body, if not in spirit. Our
brute of a father is no help.
(beat)
Do you know what I find even worse
than the pains she bears? That she
must worry about us, always.
Forever. She can never stop. Being
a mother is a terrible job.
She picks up a wooden cross and begins to joust with it.
EDWARD
Birdy, please do not joust with our
crucified savior.
BIRDY
Are there no better amusements
here? Perhaps a sacred sword used
to slay a pagan?
EDWARD
Not a sword in sight.
BIRDY
I do not believe you. If I were a
boy you would let me see. Everyone
lets boys do everything. Boring,
Edward.
EDWARD
Boredom is for the dull-witted,
Bird. You’re not dull, are you?
BIRDY
Of course I’m not dull.
EDWARD
How comes your reading? And the
diary I have tasked you with?
BIRDY
I write in my diary everyday and
read the Bible over and over again.
(MORE)
29.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
I know all the important prayers by
heart.
EDWARD
Bird, there is so much more to read
than the bible. Even devoted monks
tire of that tome. Here, I’ve a
gift for you.
He pulls a small gold book from his pocket.
BIRDY
(disappointed)
Oh good. A book?
EDWARD
Well, now that I have captured your
attention mayhap you will actually
read it. It is a book of the
saints. Every day, a different
saint.
Beat, as she inspects the book.
EDWARD (CONT’D)
Promise me you shall read, read and
read some more. Write too. Knowing
your own story will be your
salvation.
BIRDY
Promise?
Morwenna repairs the hem of Birdy’s torn dress as she writes

in her little book.
BIRDY
Mayhap I could be a Saint?
MORWENNA
Well, for starters, I believe
Saints help their nursemaids with
the washing.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Why does Edward want me to read
this book? So full of strangers and
their woes. Saints are just
dinguses I will never actually
meet.
30.
Birdy continues to write.
BIRDY (V.O.)
At the very least, I will become an
expert on their gruesome deaths,
which are so displeasing that they
please me terribly.
(beat)
What does “defenestration” mean?
Birdy rests her face in her hands, staring practically down

the barrel of the camera as she contemplates what to write
next.
Birdy walks back and forth, extremely focused, wincing. We

pan down and see she has set up a line of pointy stones and
she is barefoot.
BIRDY (V.O.)
16th day of October. A mission
towards glory.
Whenever Birdy states the date, it loops across the scene in

her signature script.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I don’t want to be a lady, so
perhaps a Saint?
Morwenna, hanging wash, looks at her crookedly.
MORWENNA
Birdy? Bird, put on your shoes for
heaven’s sake!
BIRDY
I cannot. If I am to be a saint, I
must practice- ouch! I must
practice self-sacrifice!
MORWENNA
(amused)
Any other jolly plans for this
afternoon?
BIRDY
Why yes. I am denying myself buns.
Then I am sleeping with a comb
beneath my back.
(MORE)
31.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
For I must emulate Saint Blandina,
who was scourged, placed on a red-
hot grate, enclosed in a net and
thrown before a wild steer who
tossed her into the air with his
horns.
(gravely)
Tragically, she was killed with a
dagger.
MORWENNA
You’ll meet a dagger if you don’t
put your bloody shoes on.
More rags, more stuffing of them in the deepest cracks in the

floor using the stick. We see only Birdy’s hands pulling the
rags from her skirts, pushing the rags down with her stick.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I cannot believe I must bear this
with good humor month after month.
I would prefer a monthly bath in
poo or to wrestle a lion. Ah, to
wrestle a lion!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- PRIVY- SAME TIME- AFTERNOON
Morwenna keeps watch like a sentinel.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HALLWAY OUTSIDE AISLINN’S CHAMBER-

LATE MORNING
Birdy walks down the hall, holding the recorder she has been
given for her lessons. She looks at it hatefully. She is
passing her mother’s quarters, focused with a quaking rage on
the instrument, and is about to crack it over her knee when
she hears voices in the room- her parents. The recorder
avoids its fate as she stops to listen.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN'S CHAMBER- SAME TIME- LATE

MORNING
Rollo paces, already drunk despite the early hour.
AISLINN
Rollo, why did you not tell me we
had nought to spend?
(MORE)
32.
AISLINN (CONT’D)
I want only to be your partner, to
stand beside you as lady of this
manor--
ROLLO
But lady had to have her garlands.
And her silver twine. She had to
have apples in her roast and I had
to keep this family from descending
into utter poverty! And now Birdy
is our only currency! So we’re in
real trouble.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HALLWAY OUTSIDE AISLINN’S CHAMBER-

SAME TIME- LATE MORNING
Hearing this, Birdy does attempt destruction of the

instrument. It’s stronger then she thought and she lets out a
yelp of pain, then runs.
From the high point on the road, we see Birdy watching a wat
and daub fight like the one she participated in early on. We
don’t see it, just the sounds of glee and play and Birdy,
alone, clean, listening.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- STREAM- LATER- DAY
Birdy sits on the bank while Perkin washes off in the water,
alongside young village girls with varied, natural bodies of
all shapes, sizes and shades.
They play and splash at each other. Birdy stares, confused by

seeing slightly more mature female bodies.
BIRDY
Perkin...
PERKIN
(suspiciously)
Yes, Bird?
BIRDY
What do you suppose about kissing?
PERKIN
Suppose how?
33.
BIRDY
Might it not be so foul as we once
thought?
Perkin pauses, considering, then throws his soaking, still

muddy shirt at her. It lands on her face.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
God’s Thumb, it’s slimy!
A MAN ON HORSEBACK approaches as they giggle. He is fancy

seeming (in modern parlance, a metrosexual) with flowing hair
and an obsequious manner.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
Good tidings I bring from Kent,
where the weather has been finer
than a silk from Kashmir laid out
upon a table for twenty! Might I
ask where your mistress is?
PERKIN
Our mistress?
MAN ON HORSEBACK
Lady Catherine of the manor. The
fair cherub I have ridden so far to
see...
Birdy swallows, takes a beat.
BIRDY
And what are your intentions with
our mistress, sir?
MAN ON HORSEBACK
Indeed, if she is as fair and as
decent, as goodly as they tell me,
then I...
(coyly)
I suppose I shall marry her
forthwith.
Beat, as Birdy processes what is happening.
BIRDY
Marry her? Lady Catherine? Surely
you cannot mean our Lady Catherine.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
I do and as I said I have ridden
from Kent to see her for myself.
(MORE)
34.
MAN ON HORSEBACK (CONT’D)
With no carriage and no manservant,
so urgent was it that I see this
phantom beauty for myself.
(beat, to himself)
Sorely beating my inner thighs en
route.
BIRDY
You needn’t bother. Lady Catherine
is... well, she is...
(beat)
A creature. A vile creature of
vomit and hair and snot!
It takes Perkin a beat to understand, but when he does he

joins with gusto, nodding vigorously.
PERKIN
And some say she has a third ear!
BIRDY
She does.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
Have you seen this third ear?
Where?
BIRDY
(no hesitation)
Back of her neck.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
Is it functional?
BIRDY / PERKIN
Spare.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
But what of the Catherine I have
heard about. With ebony trusses
that tumble like waterfalls. The
Lady Catherine with curves like an
archipelago.
BIRDY
Archipelago?
PERKIN
What is an archipelago?
MAN ON HORSEBACK
A small series of little islands I
believe.
35.
BIRDY
You’ve been tricked, sir. It would
seem.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
(crestfallen)
Quite cruelly so... To dash a man’s
dreams as such...
PERKIN
Sir you best be off before Lady
Catherine comes and bares her ugly
head.
MAN ON HORSEBACK
I want to thank you actually.
(to Perkin)
You’re very dashing.
(to Birdy)
You on the other hand, have been a
little churlish if I must say so.
Birdy curtsies.
BIRDY
Thank you very much, sir.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- ALE CELLAR- AFTERNOON
Birdy storms in on her father meandering about the ale cellar

inspecting bottles, one already open in his bloated hand.
ROLLO
I will not sneak you a jug of ale
so do not ask it of me.
BIRDY
I demand to know the meaning of
this!
Now he knows it’s serious.
ROLLO
The meaning of what?
BIRDY
A man has come and asked for me by
name.
ROLLO
Sounds improbable.
36.
BIRDY
He hails from Kent.
ROLLO
Oh, yes! Oh, yeeessss.
(beat)
You must get washed up then.
BIRDY
I’ve sent him away.
Rollo looks at her, the fate of his home and his reputation
lying in her hands.
ROLLO
You sent him away?
BIRDY
I sent him away. I am not
interested in meeting him nor any
man with his intentions.
ROLLO
No! Go to the high road and get him
back?
BIRDY
I am afraid he is quite gone. In
fact, he galloped away.
Rollo starts to grow red imagining his own future

humiliation. He reaches for a long wooden object.
ROLLO
Hand.
He grabs Birdy’s hand and begins to slap her across the palm
with it.
On Birdy’s face: she doesn’t wail but instead grimaces,

refusing to concede any power to her father.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Things girls cannot do.
As Birdy lists the following activities we see her wince,

once for each impossible dream.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Go on crusades. Cut their hair. Be
horse trainers. Laugh very loud.
Marry whom they will. Be monks.
Drink in ale houses. Go to
hangings.
37.
Now, back to her father’s attempt at justice.
ROLLO
You will behave like a lady when
the suitors come or we will all be
living in the cooper’s cellar. Do
you understand me!?
Hearing his bellowing, Aislinn enters.
AISLINN
Oh, Rollo! Rollo, please stop! I
can’t bear it!
He stops and looks at his wife.
ROLLO
Do you know your daughter has sent
away a perfectly good suitor?
AISLINN
Do not rage, Rollo, over that man.
My fathers were kings in Britain
long ago. And he is just a simple
wool merchant from Kent.
ROLLO
Sweet Judas, lady, think you we can
eat your royal ancestors or plant
your family name? The man stinks of
gold!
AISLINN
Rollo, please. She is young yet.
She cannot even bear children.
BIRDY
(too emphatic)
No, I certainly CANNOT!
AISLINN
Just give her some time. Give her
some time.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- LATE EVENING
Birdy is writing in her diary.
BIRDY (V.O.)
(beat)
Just one more day until Uncle
George...
38.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- DAY
A VERY SEXY entrance cue for GEORGE, Birdy’s much-hyped

uncle! He is returning from the crusades and he is gorgeous-
a 24 year old Robert Redford, charming and golden.
BIRDY (V.O.)
After one man brought doom on
horseback, another brings divine
hope.
He approaches the manor in chain mail on an actual white

horse. Aislinn stands at her window with her spyglass, waving
a greeting to her brother.
Birdy stands outside the castle, wind blowing her hair,

beaming at her incoming uncle.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My uncle is so unlike any other man
I know; he has a twinkle in his
holy green eyes, a song on his lips
and all his teeth.
It’s. Too. Perfect.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- EVENING
Birdy sits across from George, having combed her hair and
worn a clean dress, as they whisper over dinner.
GEORGE
I cannot believe my only sister’s
only daughter is now up to my
shoulder.
She practically blushes.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Uncle George
- 28 years of age
- Mumma’s littlest brother
- Fought bravely in the crusades
- SO. HANDSOME.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
When I left, you were wearing a
diaper with a big wooden pin. A
tiny barbarian the size of a
toadstool.
She actually blushes.

39.
BIRDY
My mother tells us you were in the
Holy Land, wearing a red cross sewn
on a white tunic. Nobly fighting
for God and Christ and our King.
GEORGE
The truth I’m afraid was much less
picturesque. My tunic was covered
in mud and briars.
BIRDY
But there was a line of crusaders,
Uncle George? Reaching from
Jerusalem all the way back to
London?
GEORGE
There was a line indeed.
(his eyes grow distant,
the hush of trauma
descends)
But it was a line of my injured
brothers, waiting to have their
wounds dressed. Some of them died
standing there waiting.
He, too, sips from a waist flask, then tucks into a leg of
fowl. Meat juice glistens on his lips, but it’s not repulsive
like when her father eats: it’s sexy as fuck.
It’s magic. It’s euphoria. It’s first love.
Birdy lies horizontal across her bed in her night clothes

while Morwenna turns down her covers. Birdy is playing with a
small wooden bear with moving arms and legs.
MORWENNA
Will you ever put that little stick
away?
BIRDY
It is not a stick! It is a little
bear!
(under her breath)
A gift from George.
MORWENNA
Ooohhh, a gift from Geeeooorgie.
40.
BIRDY
Quiet!
MORWENNA
Georgieee.
BIRDY
You are just mad because no one has
ever whittled you a gift, most
especially not a bear.
MORWENNA
(winking)
No gifts for poor Morwenna. To bed!
Birdy crawls between the sheets, tucking the bear into her
dress as Morwenna blows out the candle.
BIRDY (V.O.)
If I cannot be a hero, I will love
a hero instead. He will tell my
father he cannot sell me off this
way, and he will fight for me.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- COURTYARD- DAY
George and Birdy fence playfully, as George teaches Birdy

swordplay tricks and they each attempt to get the best of the
other. The scene is shot with the camera operating as the
opposing Cc, so that George and Birdy each play with the lens
as if it is their comrade/foe/buddy. The energy is that of
playful home movies as they enter and exit each other's
frames, collapse on the ground in defeat and generally relax
in a way neither can around other adults.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE HIGH MEADOW- LATER- DAY
Aelis, visiting again, and Birdy sit together on Birdy’s

cloak, talking and talking.
AELIS
I am trying to picture him. Does he
look much like the archangel
Michael?
BIRDY
No dead saint could be as beautiful
as he.
AELIS
I must see him for myself then!
41.
BIRDY
If I were to marry, Aelis, I should
choose him. If only he were my
cousin and not my uncle, true love
could prevail.
(beat)
Aelis, there’s a cottage raising
this afternoon!
AELIS
Birdy, you know we’d be whipped.
BIRDY
You get whipped? My father only
beats me across the hand.
Birdy hugs Aelis.
AELIS
Cottage-raising is not for girls
with suitors calling.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- HILL- DAY
Half-hidden behind a wall, Birdy watches the villagers in

silence.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And so I watch the cottage-raising
from the hill. Clean for my suitors
but full of dirty rage. I shall
never smear myself with mud again
and shove Perkin into the ground, I
shall never get to see a hanging, I
shall never get to have anything
like fun, and just because my
birthright is to bleed!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- ALL HALLOWS’ EVE- NIGHT
It’s a full on EVENT! The manor is abuzz with holiday spirit

as the town is filled with masked dancers and bonfires.
The camera follows her in an epic shot as she walks through

the crowd-a guy in a devil costume chasing some giggling
kids, Robert bobbing for apples from a bucket held by a
pretty milk maid.
ROBERT
I hate this game! What need have I
to catch an apple with my mouth!?
42.
BIRDY
You are so pathetic!
ROBERT
Shut up!
She walks on, smiling and laughing.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Many people are afeared of All
Hallow’s Eve, of the dead who come
back to visit the earth. But the
only dead I know are my tiny
brothers and sisters who died
before they were born.
Birdy walks alone past excited villagers in wild costumes,

dressed as bears and tigers and ghouls. She does not have an
elaborate costume except a unicorn horn sewn of burlap
fastened to her head with golden braid.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And how could I be afeared of them?
I wish they would come visit. It
would ease my mother’s grieving.
Birdy wanders the graveyard behind the house, gently touching

the tiny tombstones of the lost children: Margaret, Edwin,
William, Rhys, Rosemary. Behind is the soundtrack of people
singing and cheering, growling and playing drums.
Her reverie is interrupted when she hears a voice calling to

her from over the fence:
AELIS
Birdy! Birdy!
Birdy turns to see Aelis, dressed in silk with her hair

covered by an ermine-lined hood.
BIRDY
Aelis! Do you like my horn?
AELIS
It’s so lovely.
BIRDY
Morwenna sewed it herself!
AELIS
That’s so sweet.
Behind Aelis, Uncle George appears as her escort, much to

Birdy’s surprise.
43.
BIRDY
George...
GEORGE
Hello Bird, that’s a nice looking
crown.
BIRDY
It’s a horn!
Off Birdy’s surprise,
AELIS
I saw a man with gloves like
devil’s claws and became
frightened! I was hiding behind the
hen house when this kind gentleman
found me.
BIRDY
That is my Uncle George, Aelis!
AELIS
The one of whom you have so often
spoken?
Birdy blushes.
AELIS (CONT’D)
Yes it must be he. For you said he
was kind, and handsome too. A
saint.
Aelis smiles. George bows.
GEORGE
I too was a bit shaken by that
clawed man- and the mummer with the
odd lump upon his face- was that a
costume or a terrible natural
affliction?
(shaking his head)
We may never know. In any case.
(beat)
Let me get you both safely back to
your chambers.
BIRDY
No, George! We won’t go home! We
want to see all the mummers and the
dancing!
44.
They start to walk back to the manor, each taking one of

George’s arms. Perkin approaches, covered head to toe in
flour.
PERKIN
BOO!
George lets out a little yell, shocked by Perkin.
BIRDY
Perkin!
PERKIN
I am not Perkin! I have died,
Birdy! And now I am just a ghost
sent to haunt you until the eeend
of your liiife. I am the ghost of
Perkin!
He starts to make ghost sounds.
BIRDY
(stiffening)
I will have none of this silliness,
goat boy.
Perkin looks bruised.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
(showing off for George)
I am simply trying to get back to
my chamber to read some lovely
verse before falling to peaceful
sleep and entering dream-land.
Perkin is shocked and starts to back away.
PERKIN
(cold)
I’ll leave you to your friends
then, Lady Catherine.
He runs off, his limping gait exaggerated in the shadowy

darkness of the graveyard. Guilt flashes across Birdy’s face,
but she brushes it away, trying to catch up with George and
Aelis.
Birdy and Aelis lie beside each other in bed, their hair
spreading on the pillow. Morwenna is asleep and snoring on
Birdy’s other side, and serving maids sleep on a trundle bed
below.
45.
AELIS
My father has agreed that I might
stay for a fortnight or even two!
BIRDY
(glumly)
I wish you had written to ask. How
did you know it was convenient for
me? I have a great many chores.
Aelis looks bruised. Birdy rolls away.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Why am I being so unkind? I feel
unsettled. Was it the eel pie?
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GARDENS- AFTERNOON
A marmalade cat is darting through the gardens. Right behind

it is Birdy, reaching for it desperately.
BIRDY
Here, crazy orange man! Come with
me! I have a lovely home for you!
Coming around a corner Birdy reaches again for the cat,

getting close, but it escapes her grasp.
When she looks up she sees Aelis and George, partially

concealed by the trellised platform, kissing passionately.
This is no amateur kiss. They are IN IT, what we would call
in modern parlance HOOKING UP. WHAT THE HECK!!!
BIRDY (V.O.)
It is definitely not the eel pie.
Aelis pulls back and George smiles dreamily into her eyes,
lovesick and almost dorky with passion. Aelis turns away
coyly (she’s good at this!)
Birdy gasps and runs in the other direction. They don’t

notice because they are loved up and horny, so they won’t see
Birdy’s face crumple into tears and her first heartbreak
happen in real time.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- MOMENTS LATER-

AFTERNOON
Birdy bursts through the doors, weeping, to find Morwenna and

her mother waiting for her with a bucket of bloody rags.
Morwenna has a foreboding, guilty look.
46.
AISLINN
Catherine, your father has found
your monthly rags. Stuffed inside
the privy. They were peeking from
the cracks, Bird.
BIRDY
They were not mine!
Morwenna stares at her, apologetic.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
(defeated)
How did you know?
AISLINN
Catherine, I am your mother, and
the lady of this manor. There is
naught I do not see and naught I do
not know. It is useless to stuff
your rags, no matter how deep.
(beat)
I have tried to protect you as best
I can. But your father has been
waiting for his chance to make you
a wife, and to bring propriety to
this manor. I can deny him no more.
BIRDY
Do I not have a say?
AISLINN
(understanding but firm)
Everything has its time, its
season. Birdy, it is your season,
my love.
Birdy stares at both women, the rage growing in her stomach

so her shoulders shake. She takes a moment, deciding who to
lambaste, and settles on Morwenna.
BIRDY
Traitor! Liar! Fiend!
MORWENNA
Birdy.
BIRDY
Devil! Pauper! Scum!
AISLINN
Catherine, stop.
47.
BIRDY
I hate you! I HATE YOU!
Birdy charges the full weight of her body at Morwenna, who

can take it. Morwenna fairly but firmly throws Birdy back on
the bed, where she collapses weeping.
MORWENNA
That is enough!
The two adult women share a look as they exit. The exterior
lock clicks shut, and Birdy is alone, trapped. She sits at
her writing table and begins to scribble furiously.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I have not a friend in the world. I
have been cruel to Perkin. Morwenna
has betrayed me. Uncle George, who
brought gaiety and wonder into my
life, loves Aelis, who is a weasel.
And now my time is here. I ripen
like a peach for plucking.
She weeps more and more, then stiffens with resolve, looking
at her cage full of chirping birds. Birdy opens her book of
Saints and places her head in her hands to think...
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- DAY
A wooden bathtub is set up. Morwenna bathes a cold and

distant, quietly rageful Birdy in anticipation of her first
suitor.
BIRDY (V.O.)
25th day of November. I feel as
though no part of me is my own.
MORWENNA
(clucking, ignoring
Catherine’s icy demeanor)
Your father told me to scrub every
cranny of you before the guests
arrive.
Birdy shivers in the cold bath water, refusing to answer.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Would I choose to die rather than
be forced to marry? I do not think
either option appealing.
(beat)
Nor fair.
48.
A beat. Birdy dips her fingers in the black soap and makes a
stripe across her face. Her eyes light up with an idea.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- DAY
The family is eating with a suitor- Robert, Aislinn, Rollo,

George. SIR JOHN from Normandy, a sad bloated man in a bad
wig made of fox fur, enjoys a Cornish hen.
SIR JOHN
Where is the girl?
TEXT ON SCREEN:
John of Normandy
- whale fat titan
Offering:
- many gold ducats
- lavender fields
- a curly-haired cow
ROLLO
My lord, she is just making herself
beautiful for you.
Birdy appears at the top of the stairs, smeared with streaks

of black soap, wearing twigs in her hair like a bog witch.
George cannot help but let out a guffaw when he sees her.
SIR JOHN
Wow I like this!
Surprised, Rollo and the family start clapping. Sir John

joins them.
SIR JOHN (CONT’D)

Entertainment! For me?
ROLLO
Yes.
SIR JOHN
Bravo! Very nice.
(beat)
Now where is the girl?
ROBERT
(pointing)
That is the girl!
49.
Rollo slaps an emotionless Birdy’s palm.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GARDENS- DAY
Birdy sits across from a suitor on a bench (ROLF, blond and

proper. Not so ugly and well fed.) She looks lovely and
composed.
BIRDY
Now may I ask something of you, my
Lord?
ROLF
(shyly)
Anything, Lady Catherine.
She pulls her bird cage from under the bench.
BIRDY
Will you prove your love to me by
wearing my birds upon your face and
arms?
ROLF
To wear them?
She opens the door to the cage and places a pigeon on his
head. Then another. A third poops down her hand as she passes
it to him and she wipes the shit across his garment.
Another suitor gone. Another beating across the hands from

her father. There is a grim routine to these, and that’s how
she receives them. Rollo looks into her eyes as he strikes
her palm.
BIRDY (V.O.)
If I still had Aelis to speak to, I
might be less lonely in my
beatings. But she has George, and I
have smarting palms.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GARDENS- DAY
Sitting beside another suitor, GODFREY, this guy is close to

her age with flowing dark hair and a forest green velvet
coat.
50.
CUTE ONE
Might you share some of your
passions? Hobbies? Your soul’s
deepest inclination?
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Godfrey of Glardenmere
- Son of some other lord (WHO CARES)
Offering:
- a cellar of finely aged cheeses
- ruby comb
- smelly armpits!
BIRDY
Alright then. I listen to God when
he speaks to me.
CUTE ONE
A pious girl.
BIRDY
(smiling widely)
Usually he tells me to form an army
five thousand women strong that
will gut all men, and leave their
entrails as offerings.
She smiles demonically. She has blacked out her front teeth.
Another suitor gone. Rollo watches as Birdy washes the floors

with Lye on a rag. She gasps- it burns her hands.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Dirty devil. Snail’s guts. Fanny in
a hat. No purse is good enough for
these vile suitors or my viler
father.
Rollo walks away. Birdy throws her rag after him.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Farting drumsticks!
Rollo and Aislinn sit with another suitor.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
51.
Balthasar of the Low Country

- Silk Merchant
Offering:
- SO. MUCH. SILK.
ROLLO
Our beautiful daughter is going to
sing for you.
AISLINN
(beaming with pride)
It’s her own composition. She wrote
it herself.
Birdy appears and sings terribly for the suitor, smiling

beatifically as she squeaks out hideous.
BIRDY
There’s a dragon in the privy. He
looks at me with pity and tells me
that he wants to eat my eyebrows!
Birdy puts her hands right in the suitor’s face.
ROLLO
Birdy. Don’t touch!
Balthasar shakes his head at Rollo: “No, not this one. Not
for me, sir.”
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- ALE CELLAR- MOMENTS LATER- EVENING
Rollo locks the door, leaving Birdy in the cellar alone. She
shakes the handle, but she is trapped.
BIRDY
You can’t!
ROLLO (O.S.)
I can.
She slams the walls, kicks a cask of ale, shrieks at the top
of her lungs but no one hears her.
TIMECUT:
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- ALE CELLAR- MORNING
Birdy is bored, sipping some ale. She hates it.
BIRDY
Blech. Rotten.
52.
Birdy tries to put the cork back in but can’t. She’s trying
all kinds of ways and has resorted to trying to sit on the
cork to get it into the bottle when the door creaks open- she
jumps back but it is MEG, our dear dairymaid, holding a large
ring of keys and a plate of bread and butter.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Oh, MEG!
MEG
Shhh.
(exaggerated whisper)
I have stolen the keys off a
sleeping Ferth the gate man! Here,
the heel of the bread and some
butter!
BIRDY
Oh, Meg, I knew it. You have always
been a rebel.
(beat)
And a true friend. Perhaps the only
one I have left in the world.
MEG
Oh, m’lady.
BIRDY
(loudly)
Not m’lady! Never m’lady!
MEG
Alright, m’lady.
(catching herself)
I am sorry. I am sorry.
BIRDY
Birdy. Just Birdy.
IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! We pan along the
mantle: it is decorated with small fir trees and home-made
wreaths.
Panning along the table: What would once have been a massive
Christmas feast is now a single roast duck, some loaves of
bread, boiled eggs, roast carrots and mashed beets. Rollo’s
hound runs through frame.
53.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Christ’s day. When I was young,
father had a Golden Jesus that
pissed wine. Now, we just cut the
brown parts from the carrots.
Aislinn adjusts the decorations and hangs glass ornaments

carefully according to Rollo’s instructions.
ROLLO
We want the stars to really sparkle
as if the heavens have opened up
right here in the great hall, so if
we can get them at an angle... just
so.
AISLINN
My love, does this strike your
fancy?
ROLLO
My angel, when you see the light
hit the glass and twinkle you will
know.
A Christmas play is being mounted. The townspeople have

worked for months on the show and Perkin can be seen as one
of the three wise men, along with ALF and GERD fidgeting,
with a straw beard tied under his chin. MEG is the angel
Gabriel, and someone else is dressed as a star.
The LAUNDRESS, not a virgin by any means, her breasts

dangling, is the Virgin Mary. The cook is Joseph.
COOK
Fear not! I bring great news. To
you a savior is born.
LAUNDRESS
A child?! It cannot be, for I am
just a simple young virgin!
The audience roars with laughter. Morwenna finds it intensely

hilarious.
BIRDY
Why is it so funny?
MORWENNA
She’s no more a virgin than I am a
princess.
54.
Birdy surreptitiously pulls her diary out and scribbles:

IMPORTANT: FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT A VIRGIN MIGHT BE.
As the angel Gabriel, Meg sings a sweet song of blessing over

the couple and their baby. It sounds lovely, resounding
through the great hall.
Rollo sits beside Aislinn, Robert behind them, and he sways

to the music, transfixed. He bobs along, conducting a bit
with one finger, utterly involved, emotional even. Birdy sees
a couple of PEASANT MEN watch him from a corner. One nudges
the other and points at Rollo. They laugh at his expression
of emotion, one does a small impression.
Birdy registers this and stiffens up, oddly protective and

humiliated on his behalf. She looks back to the stage.
As Perkin helps to carry a large wreath of golden stars to

the manger, Birdy tears up. She smiles at Perkin, clapping
just for him. He sees her briefly.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My eyes prick and water. Perhaps I
am allergic to cheer. After all, a
diary is no substitute for a
friend.
Perkin smiles, for the first time in a while. Birdy mouths:
BIRDY
I’m sorry.
He looks cross.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
(louder)
I am sorry.
He shakes his head, no.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
(full volume)
Perkin, I AM SORRY!
He laughs out loud. In his distracted excitement, he does a

little happy dance for Birdy and lets go of his goat. The
goat aggressively approaches the baby Jesus, which is just a
little black dog in swaddling. Seeing the other animal, the
goat bolts. Whining, the little black dog follows. Perkin
runs behind them, dropping his staff with a clatter and his
beard falling to the ground, still smiling and waving at a
happy Birdy.
55.
LAUNDRESS
(looking at empty stage)
Me best line was coming!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- AFTERNOON
Birdy and Aelis sit in their winter cloaks near a burning

fire, doing their embroidery, Cornethia watching them coolly.
They whisper back and forth.
AELIS
(whisper)
Will you be angry with me forever?
BIRDY
(bitter whisper)
Perhaps I shall be, Aelis.
CORNETHIA
Ladies, we learn best when we close
our mouths and open our ears.
They pause, then Aelis whispers more quietly yet more

urgently.
AELIS
But I have done nothing wrong!
Birdy ignores her, focusing on her tangled embroidery.
BIRDY
Except for stealing the man I loved
with all my heart. And behind my
back, no less! To my mind, you are
a deceitful coward!
Aelis bursts into tears, loud and intense. Cornethia offers

the hem of her habit for Aelis to cry into.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Aelis, please.
(beat)
I disavow my terrible mouth. She’s
a beast, my mouth, and she acted
without my consent!
Birdy slaps herself across the face.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Bad Birdy! Bad.
Aelis grabs her hand, stopping her.

56.
AELIS
Birdy, I am to be married.
BIRDY
(stricken)
To George?
AELIS
No, to a boy of only nine. George
has to marry some horrid old widow
named Ethelfritha. And now you will
not even be my friend!
Aelis rushes out. Birdy looks at the nun wearily.
BIRDY (V.O.)
For the first time in my life, I am
choking on my words. My heart has
been shaved and boiled like a
parsnip. George is to be married.
George is to be married. George.
Is. To. Be. Married.
Birdy looks at the nun wearily.
BIRDY
I suppose you’re not taking joiners
at the convent.
CORNETHIA
No.
BIRDY
Pity.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- MORNING
Birdy wakes early, opening the shutters dutifully and

struggling to put her dress on with care.
BIRDY (V.O.)
6th day of January. Twelve-ninety-
one is upon us, I have seen the
consequences of my horrid
temperament: friendlessness,
boredom, purgatory. So, I embrace a
new resolve. I will try my best to
be a lady, to act and speak as
beautifully as my mother does, to
make my parents and god divinely
happy.
57.
MORWENNA
Let me help you, Bird.
BIRDY
I will dress myself, I am a woman
now! Stand back!
She continues to struggle. Morwenna watches, amused.
MORWENNA
It’s back to front...
BIRDY
It’s not! Is it?
Birdy passes the dreaded Robert, who is drinking a mug of ale

and watching his horse be re-shod. She kisses his cheek
sweetly. He is confounded.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Disobedience has gotten me nowhere.
ROBERT
(sotto)
What in God’s name?
EXT. GARDEN- DAY
Birdy strolls through the garden in one of her better

dresses, posed in a lady-like way that doesn’t suit her, with
a badly- attempted fancy hairdo falling around her face. She
is fanning herself with a small fan of her mother’s.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And who can fight an inevitable
fate, anyhow?
She shivers against the winter air, collapsing back into

regular Birdy posture, but when a young male gardener passes
she stiffens up and starts again.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I resisted marriage and was dealt
only pain. If I embrace it, mayhap
there is even... pleasure?
58.
Birdy sits beside FULK, a grotty loser with a bowl cut who at
least has all his teeth. His father, FULK THE ELDER, is
helping orchestrate it all.
FULK THE ELDER

Lady Catherine, do you enjoy
riding?
BIRDY
(genuinely trying)
I do, my lord.
FULK THE ELDER

Perhaps you and my son might ride
together whilst we are here? Will
your horses get along?
BIRDY
My horse has a lovely and even
temperament. Uh... yours sir?
As the adults talk, Birdy and young Fulk start whispering,

like the only two teenagers at a grownup party.
FULK
Do you not hate having to dress up
for these meetings?
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Fulk the Younger

- Son of Fulk the Elder
Offering:
- plot of healthy farmland
- 6 hound puppies
- a sweaty handshake
BIRDY
(sign of relief)
Lord, yes. This dress is so tight I
can barely breathe. Is yours tight?
FULK
I suppose this ones not so bad.
Rollo clinks a tin cup, disrupting the teen convo.
ROLLO
(oddly composed)
It is a tremendous occasion to have
you here, Lord Fulk and Elder Fulk.
(MORE)
59.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Especially as we have just learned
the joyful news that my wife is
expecting.
Aislinn smiles. Birdy goes pale.
ROBERT
This is tremendous!
BIRDY
What did you say, father?
ROLLO
Catherine, are you excited to
welcome your brother?
BIRDY
But the midwife has said it may
bleed her out this time!
AISLINN
Birdy, not now.
ROBERT
(hissed)
It’s not the time. It’s never the
time.
BIRDY
Are you trying to kill her!? Do you
want to prove yourself a man that
much? It is going to die. THEY ALL
DIE!
AISLINN
You didn’t die.
BIRDY
I didn’t die but the rest do!
Birdy slams the table and leaves.
ROLLO
(embarrassed)
Lord Fulk.
(beat)
Other Fulk, she must have come down
with a fever this eve, a light pox
has been going ‘round Stonebridge.
ELDER FULK
Pox? We best depart.
The Fulks stand to exit.

60.
ROBERT
It’s not a big pox!
AISLINN
Only a small pox!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- PRIVY- NIGHT
Birdy, weeping, rushes to the privy, holding a candle to

light her way. When she arrives, Fulk the younger is waiting
as well, holding his travel lantern aloft. They look at each
other awkwardly, like teenagers waiting for the bathroom at a
concert, which they basically are.
FULK
Hello.
BIRDY
I despise you.
FULK
(confused)
I thought we got on quite well.
She bangs on the privy.
ELDER FULK (O.S.)

Let me pass my meal in peace!
Beat.
BIRDY
I’ll leave you in peace.
Birdy walks behind the back of the privy, chucks her candle
at the straw rushes around the base, and runs.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- NIGHT
Birdy watches the privy burn as Lord Fulk and Elder Fulk
gallop away. The light from the burning privy illuminates her
rage.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My new leaf was short-lived. But my
rebellion will be forever.
The villagers run toward the burning privy with buckets of

water. Rollo stands uselessly behind them, shrieking.
61.
ROLLO
For the sake of all that is holy,
run! Help! Do something!
He turns to a peasant slopping water ineffectually on the

privy.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
What are you trying to do, baptize
it? Drown it! Are you familiar at
all with the element of fire?
Famously the enemy of water? It
needs to be EXTINGUISHED, not
drooled upon like a gumming infant!
Rollo sees the Fulks gallop away.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
FULKS!!!
(beat, to peasants)
Why is that bucket so small?!
The villagers continue to battle the flames as the fire rages

on. Birdy watches, stone-faced.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- ALE CELLAR- NIGHT
Rollo shakes Birdy by the shoulders of her dress, practically

lifting Birdy her off the ground in a rage. She hides her
fear and lets her body go limp as he shakes.
ROLLO
Do you not understand the danger
you have placed us in? For once,
Catherine, you could attempt to set
an example for our tenants, for our
villagers! To show them what a lady
can be when she sets her heart to
it! Perhaps you might try that,
rather than bringing shame and
mockery upon our home!
BIRDY
I am not a lady, sir, thus cannot
mimic one.
ROLLO
Sit down.
She does.
62.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
(angry, close-talking)
When I was a year younger than you,
I inherited a town in shambles. My
father had gambled away every pane
of glass, every brick, every sack
of grain. And I have used every
ounce of my cunning and strength to
bring prosperity back to
Stonebridge.
BIRDY
Your cunning and strength, sir?
ROLLO
And other qualities, yes.
BIRDY
Is that why I saw the tapestries
going to auction? The finest cups
being packed up and shipped away
because of your cunning and
strength?
He is hot with rage as he pounds the wall, hurting his hand.
ROLLO
I your father. I am your father.
(beat, soft)
And if I say you shall be married,
then married you shall be.
The servants deck the hall for a massive festivity- there are
floral garlands and wreathes with golden angels perched on
top of them. It’s a level of opulence this home hasn’t seen
in seasons, but the taste is too wild and feminine to be
Rollo’s. Birdy sullenly watches the decorations go up,
sulking and popping the halo off an angel.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Fifth day of February. George weds
today. Some marry for love, some
marry for money, some for duty, and
some, like George, seem not to know
why they marry.
Birdy and her family watch George get married to ETHELFRITHA,

a messy, manic but beguiling woman in her early fifties.
63.
It is a Christian wedding and FATHER HUY, the village priest,

officiates. In traditional fashion, Father Huy meets the
couple at the door of the great hall. The crowd follows
behind them, forming a semi-circle around them.
Pregnant Aislinn dabs her eyes, emotional. Rollo is less

moved. Robert is basically picking his nose and inspecting
it, and basically means literally.
FATHER HUY
Does anyone present know any reason
why this man and woman should NOT
be joined in holy matrimony?
Rollo lets out a cough. Father Huy looks at him.
FATHER HUY (CONT’D)

Since there are no objections, will
you take this man to be your
husband?
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Ethelfritha Rose Splinter of Devon.

- 48 years of age
- widow who whittles
- eats sugar with her fingers
- richer than my father
ETHELFRITHA
(looking around happily)
I... I will?
FATHER HUY
And will you take this woman to be
your wife?
GEORGE
(tired)
I will.
George pulls some gold coins from his pocket and places them
on Father Huy’s open liturgy book, along with the ring, which
Father Huy blesses under his breath. George takes the rings
and touches it to Ethelfritha’s thumb.
FATHER HUY
In nomine Patris.
GEORGE
In nomine Patris.
George touches it to her first finger.

64.
FATHER HUY
Et filli.
GEORGE
Et filli.
Goerge touches it to her second finger.
FATHER HUY
Et spiritus sancti.
GEORGE
Et spiritus sancti.
And he places it on her third finger.
FATHER HUY
Amen.
GEORGE
Amen.
As Father Huy blesses them, Aislinn whispers to Birdy.
AISLINN
Does your uncle not look dashing,
Bird? And I remember when he was
crawling about the floor in his
christening gown!
Birdy sulks in her pew, despite having a stunning new green

dress with ermine accents. She looks, for the very first
time, like a rose-bitten WOMAN but her frown says otherwise.
Aelis watches from a separate pew. Her parents are bickering

over her head. She tries to cover her weeping eyes with her
hood but there isn’t enough hood to do the job.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
You tell your daughter no crying.
She should get used to it. She has
a fine young man there who is going
to grow up into a fine specimen.
BEATRICE
She has a nine year old boy.
Standing next to Aelis is a little boy (her husband), staring

absently ahead and holding her hand.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Lord Suncerk of Dunkerk

- 9 years of age
65.
- loves hide and seek, naps, and soft foods

- Aelis’s new husband
Birdy looks at Aelis, then back at sad George. She cannot

bear to watch any of this and darts out while her father is
taking a secret swig from a flask, grinning absently.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- NIGHT
Birdy walks the village. It is cold and misty- warmth glows

from inside houses but she is all alone. Her sombre
contemplation is interrupted when she steps on something
squishy.
BIRDY
Corpus Bones! Must my world always
be peppered with shit?
A GUY of about eighteen, who is pushing a wheelbarrow full of

leather mittens, hears her.
MITTEN SELLER
A mouth to shame a pirate!
She notices (any of us would notice) that he is cute and she

bows her head, gathering her bravery.
BIRDY
I am endeavoring to find the best
curse of them all. Is it Corpus
Bones? God’s Thumbs? Or just a
simple “Satan and all his minions!”
MITTEN SELLER
I personally go in for “death by
frying pan!”
Birdy giggles.
BIRDY
You are selling mittens?
MITTEN SELLER
It grows colder and colder and so I
travel from town to town, looking
for people whose fingers shiver.
BIRDY
I have not a coin to my own name,
sir.
(beat)
I am but a servant.
66.
Beat.
MITTEN SELLER
A servant in fancy dress, though.
(beat)
If you have no funds, then a kiss
will do.
BIRDY
Death by frying pan!
(beat)
I cannot kiss you, sir, for... I
have never kissed anyone before. I
would be beat with the rod.
He laughs sweetly.
MITTEN SELLER
Than can I kiss you and take all
the blame?
He grins. She looks down at the mass of mittens. She takes a

step forward, closes her eyes and waits. He takes a long time
to lean in- wha feels like years- and she opens one eye as
she receives a kiss lightly on the lips. Not too long but not
so short as to mean nothing.
BIRDY (V.O.)
That was it? That was what made
George and Aelis go so mad?
He grins, hands her the mittens and is off, humming to

himself.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Well. He looks rather pleased with
himself.
She shrugs, slipping one mitten on to see if they fit.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- LATER- NIGHT
A group of women are dancing an ornate dance in a ring, their

dresses contrasting shades of silk so that they resemble a
sort of Mondrian painting by way of Coachella.
This is our modern unisex version of the Carole dance, a

dance done at Medieval weddings. We move through them to
Birdy, at a long table, playing with her new mittens.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Might I really count that as my
first kiss?
(MORE)
67.
BIRDY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I suppose I would like to,
especially if it’s the only one
I’ll ever choose to have myself.
Birdy is seated beside Ethelfritha, who eats a fish clean off

the bones while keeping one hand linked through George’s arm.
Birdy watches Ethelfritha with disdain- the food bits on her
cheek, the frizz of her hair, her wrinkled sleeves.
Ethelfritha notices Birdy noticing her and leans over.
ETHELFRITHA
I paid for the festivities out of
my own pocket, you know.
Birdy doesn’t speak.
ETHELFRITHA (CONT’D)
That’s one thing husbands are good
for. Well, dead husbands anyway.
It’s very convenient when they die
wealthier than when you wed them,
though still rather sad, I suppose.
BIRDY
We haven’t had a party like this in
months.
ETHELFRITHA
Oh dear.
BIRDY
We have no money left, unlike you.
There’s so much food tonight that
I’ve lost my appetite.
(beat)
Or maybe love just makes me ill.
ETHELFRITHA
Who said anything of love?
Birdy looks intrigued.
Do I believe your uncle George
loves me? No, I do not. But he will
protect me, as only a husband can
protect a wife. I inherit his title
and I hear he’s good with a sword.
And in turn, he has land to call
his own, something his family could
not provide despite their title. It
is a perfect trade. Plus, he’s
gorgeous. You know, in a childish
way.
68.
BIRDY
But do you not want to love
somebody?
ETHELFRITHA
I have other fish to fry.
Uncle George is Rollo-style wasted and it’s sad to watch. He

gets up and wanders down the table, picking up bottles of
wine to check for remaining drops. When he finds a half-full
bottle, he chugs. Birdy watches him.
(eerily tuned in)
You are lucky, little bird, for you
have wings. But you must learn to
harness them, not to flap all about
and crash to the floor.
Birdy pauses and reflects on this. Down the table Birdy

notices Aelis, sitting with her nine year old husband.
BIRDY
Might I excuse myself a moment?
(beat)
Aunt Ethelfritha?
ETHELFRITHA
But of course, little Bird. Just
don’t try and fly the coop.
Birdy walks purposefully toward Aelis, watching the adults

who are not acting very adult. When she reaches her friend,
she stops, standing vulnerably straight.
BIRDY
I wish you the same things you wish
for yourself.
AELIS
(loud, above the din)
What?
BIRDY
(hesitant, shy)
I... I wish your happiness, Aelis.
I am so sorry that I ever said
otherwise.
(quiet)
Since we quarreled, I have only
missed you.
(even quieter)
And now, there is so much to tell.
I hath only two words: mitten man!
69.
A long, agonizing beat. Aelis considers, then throws her arms

around Birdy. The two girls rock in each other’s arms.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Ever since you moved away I have
been so lonely and unlucky!
AELIS
And ever since I moved away I have
wondered why nobody is as funny as
my Bird!
The nine year old smiles at them and interjects, clueless.
NINE YEAR OLD HUSBAND

Would you like to see my doll? He
has a turnip for a head.
BIRDY
No, thank you.

(to himself)
How silly.
BIRDY
Who are you?

Why, I am her husband of course!
The girls burst into hysterics, as if they’re making fun of a

kid who is a few years behind them in school, only it’s
Aelis’s husband.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- LATER- NIGHT
After the party is the after party! The event is raging,

everyone drunk on Ethelfritha’s rich lady wine.
At their wedding seats, Ethelfritha slides her head onto

George’s shoulder. He chugs his wine. She stares at him,
pouring him some more. He chugs that. She giggles. A beat.
GEORGE
(drunk)
What do you want from me?
ETHELFRITHA
What do you want for yourself?
70.
A truly disgusting MALE GUEST (SHAGGY BEARD) starts making

waves: he’s a bearded, troll-like nightmare, belching,
chasing serving maids with his tongue wagging, giving a wet
willy to a girl who is tidying the flowers. He notices
Robert’s lurcher dog, which is excitable and jumping, and he
delivers a swift kick to its gut. The dog whimpers, shocked,
and wanders off. Shaggy Beard stands on the table...
SHAGGY BEARD
Quiet! Silence!
Then bends over and loudly FARTS.
SHAGGY BEARD (CONT’D)

I’ll blow this shit-hole down! I’m
the seventh richest man in
Yorkshire and I want to fornicate!
He chases after female guests.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Adults call me insolent, but have
they ever met their own drunken
friends? Bleh!
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- NIGHT
George and Ethelfritha ride off in a cart with colorful

ribbons hanging, as the servants and peasants wave goodbye
from the road, banging pots and pans. Birdy watches, waving,
not so sad as she once seemed.
MORWENNA
Do you not love a wedding with
every beat of your heart?
BIRDY
(crinkling her nose)
I do not. But how strange, that I
should like the woman who has taken
George from us!
MORWENNA
Life is quite a shock, Bird.
Ethelfritha smiles and pats his back, utterly free, an

example to Birdy and to them all. George waves meekly then
vomits off the side of the cart.
BIRDY (V.O.)
That vomit was yet another shock.
71.
Birdy, her hair in fresh plaits, sits at breakfast across

from her father, mother, the maybe, possibly, not-so-
abominable Robert and... that awful male guest? The man
glares at Robert. Robert glares back.
ROLLO
Good morning, little bird.
She doesn’t respond.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Perplexingly pleasant.
(beat)
Why does this shaggy-bearded cretin
remain?
The man chews a boiled egg, bits hanging from his sagging jaw
and sparse hairs. He must be a Medieval age , aka a age 52.
ROLLO
Lord Murgaw, do you know that
Catherine spins the finest yarn in
Stonebridge?
SHAGGY BEARD
I do not care much for fabrics. No,
I would dance in the nude if it
were not a sin.
ROLLO
(confused)
And what is it you like to do, my
Lord? The bit where you follow an
animal using a sort of pointed...
ahem...
ROBERT
Arrow? As in hunting?
ROLLO
I know about hunting. I was
thinking more along the lines of
when men use their bodies to, er...
ROBERT
Climb trees? That’s one I’m
excellent at, father.
ROLLO
No.
72.
SHAGGY BEARD
I collect rare lizard skins and
play puzzles, one piece a night.
Moderation in every area except the
carnal.
The guest stares at Birdy, who is unaware of any tension.

Rollo, meanwhile, is horrified.
BIRDY
What’s carnal? Car-nal. It is a
funny word.
ROLLO
A funny word. That’s all.
ROBERT
Something you should talk about
with mom, she might know...
Rollo relaxing in a throne-like chair. It’s clear Birdy,

despite all her spying, has hardly ever entered this room and
regards it with a hushed reverie.
BIRDY
Yes father?
ROLLO
My beloved daughter. My sweetest
girl. My only raven-haired lass.
BIRDY
Who do you speak of? I am your
daughter, God help me, but hardly
beloved. So who is it you address?
Her father smiles.
ROLLO
My lady of Lithgow. Your bridegroom
awaits you and none of your tricks
will profit you this time. You’ve
reached the end of the charade and
you will move forward and out.
BIRDY
The guest? The man they call Shaggy
Beard? Is my betrothed?
73.
ROLLO
Be respectful, Catherine- his name
is Lord John Murgaw the Eighth, and
he is the last, and blessedly most
wealthy, suitor.
Birdy gasps.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Is that all sounding satisfactory?
Birdy tries to speak but can only stutter. Unable to summon

words, Birdy runs from the room and into the hall, panting.
BIRDY (V.O.)
He is not a man. He is a mottled
troll and should live in a cave. A
murderer does not deserve such
punishment. It cannot... it will
not be!
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- AFTERNOON
The family is gathered around an elegant lunch spread, with

Shaggy Beard present. They are eating meat pie and courgettes
shaved into flowers- fancy foods for their fancy guest.
Birdy eats in silence.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Luckily, I am most experienced at
outwitting suitors.
She stares at her food glumly.
ROLLO
So, Catherine can be prone to fits
of silence. Right, my lady?
AISLINN
(curt)
She speaks when she wishes and is a
great deal of fun most of the time.
SHAGGY BEARD
I can only imagine how delightful
you were when your husband first
procured you. Bold, playful, but
dutiful. Exactly my sort of woman.
Rollo laughs uncomfortably. Aislinn winces- she will tolerate

this only because she has to.
74.

The only women I cannot abide by:
criers and those with liver spots.
Just then the cook brings out a large cooked pig with an
apple in its mouth.
ROLLO
Ah, the prize pig.
AISLINN
Made with my good mother’s recipe.
Birdy looks at it and after a beat of scheming...
BIRDY (V.O.)
Oh, criers? I am an expert crier,
since the day I was born.
Birdy begins to wail and flail over the pig’s corpse.
BIRDY
Nooo, not Jiminy. They’ve killed
Jiminy.
(louder wailing)
THE ONLY FRIEND I HAD. JIMINNNY.
AND PIGS CANNOT GO TO HEAVEN!
Rollo and Robert look shocked.
ROBERT
(laughing, confounded)
Who in God’s name is Jiminy?
Shaggy Beard looks at Catherine.
SHAGGY BEARD
(through bites of newly
cut meat)
So, Catherine, am I to believe the
pig was a good friend of yours?
Birdy flashes him a demonic smile then oinks at him, hoping

this display will do the job.

(about the pig and Birdy)
Spicy. I like it!
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Sir John Henry Murgaw aka Shaggy Beard

- wheat salesman
-landlord
75.
- hideous mottled troll

Offering:
- filthy stinking riches
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- MORNING
Birdy wanders the high grass looking carefully for something.

When she finds it, she grins and scoops it into a tin mug.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR - MORNING
In Rollo’s man cave, where guests are put up, Shaggy Beard is
being dressed by his MANSERVANT. He is in his undergarments,
coughing vociferously, when there is a knock at the door.
SHAGGY BEARD
Who goes there?
BIRDY
(sweetly)
Tis I, Lady Catherine.
MANSERVANT
Ahhh. Your sweet wench, sir.
SHAGGY BEARD
Do not call my sweet future wife a
wench, you fool.
MANSERVANT
So sorry, sir. I was simply... I
was only... I was just...
Shaggy Beard laughs, as if delighted to have put the fear of

god in the guy. The manservant laughs too, half relief and
half terror.
The Manservant opens the door. Birdy bows.
SHAGGY BEARD
I was not expecting to reveal my
skivvies to you until our wedding
day.
BIRDY
And why must we dabble in
formality, m’lord, when we all know
that very soon what’s mine is yours
and yours is mine?
76.
SHAGGY BEARD
(looking her up and down)
Indeed it is and indeed it will be.
MANSERVANT
Indeed, it is and--
SHAGGY BEARD
(sharply)
Too many bloody voices in this
room!
MANSERVANT
Yes. Mine being the problem.
BIRDY
I hear your joints ache, and so I
have prepared you a traditional
Stonebridge poultice.
She extends the plate.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Simply cake it over your elbows and
knees and let it absorb beneath the
layers of your clothing, and let it
soak into your bones.
SHAGGY BEARD
You are even more considerate than
you are beautiful.
BIRDY
Good day, my Lords.
SHAGGY BEARD
Good day, my Lady.
Birdy curtsies and exits.
MANSERVANT
Considerate, beautiful, and she
curtsies! The whole package.
The Manservant picks up and smells Birdy’s poultice and

cannot hide his disgust.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Ah, my finest work yet! I can taste
my freedom.
77.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- DAY
Birdy, Perkin, Gerd, Alf and Meg do a medieval version of the

limbo. Meg and Alf, making eyes at each other, hold a stick
as Gerd sings and Perkin attempts to shimmy under it.
ALF
Don’t touch the devil’s toothpick!
BIRDY (V.O.)
Perkin truly is my heart’s brother,
and so we managed to resolve our
troubles with a good old fashioned
arm wrestle which I won fair and
square.
Meg calls to Birdy to hold the other end of the stick and she
obliges.
BIRDY
Meg?
MEG
Yes, Birdy?
BIRDY
What really is a virgin?
Meg laughs, shyly, and drops the stick mid-limbo, causing

Gerd to fall on his ass. As the boys all wrestle, Meg
whispers the answer to Birdy. We hear selected words: his man-
sword... push... in and out... smush... done...
BIRDY (CONT’D)
I thought a virgin was when God
made you pregnant?
MEG
Oh no, that was only that one
virgin.
Birdy looks horrified.
Birdy walks alone in one of the nice capes her parents had
made in order to make her seem like hot property. She is
breathing the cool air in big gulps.
BIRDY (V.O.)
That is what a virgin is? I had no
idea what I was asking.
78.
She stops and closes her eyes, trying to ignore her problems,
when one comes up behind her: Shaggy Beard.
SHAGGY BEARD
Lady Catherine...
He quickens his pace to catch her.

(slowing)
Lady Catherine, might I join you?
(lowering his tone)
You are the reason that I stink of
shit.
BIRDY
(smiling)
If the shoe fits...
SHAGGY BEARD
You thought you could outsmart me
with tomfoolery, right? But what
you didn’t bargain for is that I.
Like. The. Chase.
Catherine looks confused and scared as Shaggy Beard leans in.

Tomorrow I shall give your father
the marriage purse, a large sum of
gold for him. But this is for you.
He hands her a pouch of silver coins.

And when you spend that first piece
of silver on something pretty,
remember that it is you finally
saying yes to me.
Birdy, totally without recourse, pops Shaggy Beard in the

nose and runs.
BIRDY (V.O.)
He will not be able to marry me for
I will not spend the coins, just
angrily hoard them.
He touches his smarting nose- a thin trickle of blood- and

grins. He’s got a feisty one on the line.
79.
Birdy is running, her fancy cape flapping, the camera close

on her face and pulling her. Rollo and Robert follow,
shouting. They all run the same way, their limbs flailing,
more related than they want to be. Birdy pauses, catches her
breath, her eyes fiery with angry disbelief. Eyeing her
father, Birdy simply holds her hands out, asking for her
palms to be whipped. But instead, Rollo just stands there.
BIRDY
Why don’t you whack me? That’s what
you’d really like, is it not?
Rollo is shocked- he hates hearing this from his daughter.

Does she not understand that he punishes her to make her a
more successful member of society?
ROLLO
Put your hands behind your back.
Stand up straight.
(cold)
You must pack your things at once.
The lord has officially proposed.
ROBERT
You need to leave here.
BIRDY
No.
ROLLO
Yes.
BIRDY
No. No. No.
ROLLO
YES! Birdy, I cannot play these
games! I am tired. I AM TIRED!
ROBERT
Respect your father!
BIRDY
(begging)
Please. Just let me stay to meet
the baby.
ROLLO
The baby does not come for months
yet.
80.
BIRDY
Please.
(she is weeping)
I just want to meet the baby. I
must meet the baby. I have to meet
the baby.
A beat.
ROLLO
Fine. I will tell Lord Lithgow you
are finishing lessons in keeping
the home. But the moment-
ROBERT
The moment!
Rollo pushes Robert’s head away. Enough.
ROLLO
The moment the babe is here, then
you are not.
The men walk away as if they haven’t just ruined her life.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- AFTERNOON
Birdy flees up the hill, where Perkin is tending his goats.
BIRDY
Perkin! PERKIN!
He turns to her.
PERKIN
Birdy? Why are you wailing so? Are
you possessed by a demon?
She grabs him around the neck, weeping. He’s taken aback by
the rough physical affection and pats her awkwardly.
BIRDY
Perkin. We must marry.
PERKIN
You’d make a sorry bride in this
state, Birdy.
Birdy pulls away, her mind racing with plans.

81.
BIRDY
All we have to do is get married
tomorrow in the village and only
Morwenna and Meg and the pigs have
to be there. I shall be Lady Perkin
and your goats shall be our
children--
PERKIN
Birdy! Birdy, stop! I do not want
to marry you!
BIRDY
You have to marry me! My life hangs
in the balance and you refuse me?
PERKIN
And what of my life Birdy? My
plans? Have you ever asked what I
dream of when I lay my head down at
night? No!
BIRDY
If I was fair of face like Aelis,
you’d marry me.
PERKIN
No, Birdy! It’s not about being
fair-faced!
BIRDY
What’s it about then?
PERKIN
I don’t know. I just don’t want to
marry you or Aelis or Meg or
Morwenna or any other woman God has
or shall put on this earth.
BIRDY
What, would you marry a MAN
instead!?
Perkin looks stunned. She has taken him by such surprise that
his ability to hide the truth is rendered obsolete. It’s
clear on his face that yes, what she’s said is true. In a
profound and nameless way, Birdy understands.
She hurls herself at Perkin and hugs him tight. After a

moment of resistance, he hugs back. They cling to each other
desperately, each caught in their own tiny hell. Birdy
cradles his face.
82.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
We must run away, Perkin. Run
faraway and never comeback.
PERKIN
Oh, Birdy. That is always your
answer. Do you not see? You would
like to ride into the crusades, but
you are a lady. I would like to be
a great scholar, yet I cannot even
read. We do not get to choose what
we do. Life does not care about us-
we are given our stations until
death.
This is too much for Birdy and she collapses, panting. Perkin
sits down beside her, laying a hand on her back, and begins
to sing- the same song as earlier but much sweeter now, cozy.
PERKIN (CONT’D)
Through the buckle till the pin
Holds the belt-end safely in...
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- DAY- A MONTAGE OF SPRING
Moving through springtime! The sheep have given birth. They

nurse, the babies shaking their butts while they drink up.
Village women shake out their sheets and beat their rugs.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- STREAM- DAY
The stream meanders on.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN'S CHAMBER- AFTERNOON
Birdy lays on the bed with her mother, heavily pregnant once
more. Aislinn lifts her night dress to reveal her naked
stomach and the side of her thigh, and Birdy places a hand on
it.
BIRDY
Mother! She kicks like a pony!
AISLINN
She?
83.
BIRDY
(shy)
I might like a sister. Edward and
Robert all have each other. I am
quite alone.
AISLINN
(dropping her dress
again)
I should like that too, Little
Bird. But would she be as perfect
as my first-born daughter? You are
as naughty as God hoped you might
be.
Birdy runs her finger along the scar on her mother’s neck.
BIRDY
Mother, why does the skin on your
neck bulge like a rope?
AISLINN
That’s what happens when you touch
fire, Birdy.
BIRDY
Did you touch fire, Mumma?
AISLINN
No, Bird. Fire touched me.
(beat)
It’s why I tell you to obey. I was
once willful too and my father
showed me how he felt about that
with the iron. And so when you try
so hard to bend the ways of the
world, Bird, I cheer for you, but I
also fear for you. To see you
hurt... I could not sustain that,
Birdy. I would rather see you
settle than be seared.
(beat)
There are worse fathers than yours,
Bird.
BIRDY
But what of husbands, mother? What
of the man I am meant to marry,
mother?
84.
AISLINN
(strained)
I believe that you will be
protected, that he will see the
goodness in your eyes and it will
bring out the goodness in his. I
must believe that.
A knock at the door.
AISLINN (CONT’D)
Enter.
Robert peeks his head around the door, uncharacteristically

shy.
ROBERT
Mumma? I require your council.
He spies Birdy.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
(cold)
But I will wait until your bed is
free of fleas.
AISLINN
Children, please. Let us leave
behind childhood teasing and act a
family while we still can. It does
my heart a great deal of good.
Robert enters--this is a different kid than we’ve seen

before. He’s sheepish, almost embarrassed, with a sweet hope
brimming around the edges. He’s clutching a slip of
parchment.
ROBERT
We have had word from
Gloucestershire.
AISLINN
Gloucestershire?
BIRDY
Aelis!
ROBERT
Indeed.
(he reads blankly)
The child husband is dead. Fever.
Oh, little Bird, everyone cries but
I cry with joy for I am coming
home.
85.
BIRDY
The message was for me. Hand me my
letter!
Birdy prepares for a fight, but Robert simply hands it over.
AISLINN
Life can be very cruel, my loves.
Beat.
BIRDY
Do you think they buried his turnip
head doll beside him?
AISLINN
(clucking)
Birdyyy.
ROBERT
Mother, might I...?
AISLINN
You did well to never lose hope
that you might have your own love,
chick-a-loo.
Birdy looks at Robert, who wants to die: “Chick-a-loo?” What

goes on between these two when she’s not around?!
BIRDY
(crossly)
What is going on here? I do not
like to be on the wrong end of
secrets, Mumma.
Aislinn looks to Robert for approval. He nods.
AISLINN
Birdy, your brother has long
harbored hopes of proposing to
Aelis.
BIRDY
Robert? Aelis?? That Robert? My
Aelis??
ROBERT
No. She is everyone’s Aelis, like
Jesus or springtime, and she brings
the world just as much sacred joy.
(MORE)
86.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
And if she would have me I would
consider myself a man reformed,
reborn and blessed by a God whose
existence I could not deny.
Aislinn smiles. Even Birdy is moved. Wow, Robert.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Well, I guess I don’t know
everything. I think by sneaking and
spying I can avoid surprises but
they come anyway... sometimes in
the form of unexpected love.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE COUNTRY ROAD- DAY
In her new lilac dress, Birdy is bouncing along dirt roads in

a wooden carriage. Birdy looks at the driver’s strong back,
his handsome neck, the wind ruffling his hair.
BIRDY (V.O.)
It is a good day, for I head to
Aelis’s and we can rejoice in the
news that we are now, and finally,
sisters. I bring a welcome to the
family gift of preserves from the
kitchen and a comb for her hair.
(beat)
I once caught Morwenna staring at
this driver while he washed blood
from a boil on his thigh. She calls
him Golden Tiger when she speaks of
him in secret. Imagine life with a
peasant. So simple. So passionate.
So...
He turns to her to check on her, smiling to reveal absolutely

zero teeth.
BIRDY (V.O.)
... Toothless.
EXT. AELIS’S ROAD- AFTERNOON
The carriage lurches to a stop, waking Birdy. Birdy notices

that Aelis’s family is waiting for her by the road and they
bum-rush the carriage. Aelis stands between her baleful
father and step mum. Lord Sidebottom wears some of his old
chain mail and it clanks as his push chair moves.
AELIS
Birdy!
87.
BIRDY
Aelis!
Birdy jumps out of the carriage and races to Aelis.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
Whatever is the emergency, Aelis?
Why are you all standing in the
road like cattle?
AELIS
(scared)
Hello, Bird.
As Aelis hugs Birdy, she bursts into tears.
BIRDY
Aelis, what is the matter? It is a
happy day! You’re to be married! We
are to be sisters!
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
Young Catherine, I am glad to see
you. Please tell your drunk of a
father that his offer is offensive.
BERENICE
(to her husband)
She is not one of your special
hunting dogs, the ones you pay for
in gold brick! She is a girl. Just
as I once was.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
Shut up, shut up, shut up Berenice!
I grow so tired of your voice!
BERENICE
And I grew weary of yours the
moment I heard it. Good thing you
don’t have long to live.
AELIS
Can everyone please stop shouting?
GOLDEN TIGER
There do seem to be a lot of raised
voices. I always say, speak like
butter, not like knives...
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
AND WHOMST ARE YOU!? My daughter is
a virgin, confirmed by exam!
(MORE)
88.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM (CONT’D)
She can command more than twice
the pitiful marriage purse your
father proposes.
BIRDY
They pay more for virgins?
(nobody hears her)
Aelis! They pay more... for
virgins?
She looks at Aelis, awash in tears.
She feels the bag of silver at her side.
She backs slowly away.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
You men are not God! You don’t get
to decide who we are, where we go,
or how much we cost! We aren’t
things, we are people. We can think
and we can hear and we can feel,
and you just broke my best friend’s
heart because of your greed.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
Insolent whelp! What difference
does that make! A girl’s master
merely changes from her father to
husband!
Birdy looks at Aelis as if to say “I love you, I’m sorry.”

She hops back in the cart and taps Golden Tiger on the
shoulder, hard.
BIRDY
Can we move?
GOLDEN TIGER
But where, m’lady.
BIRDY
Rutherford!
The wind whips Birdy’s hair as she stews.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I’m sorry Aelis, I want to save you
more than anything, I do.
AELIS
Birdy!
89.
LORD SIDEBOTTOM
(to Aelis)
You! Get inside and straight to
your room.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am all out of tricks, it seems.
Well, all but one.
EXT. HANGING TOWN- AFTERNOON
Birdy wanders into a town, bigger than her village,

overwhelming her senses. The streets are bustling- sellers
with food stalls and men welding steel. Birdy is dressed in
baggy peasant’s clothing, stolen from Golden Tiger.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I convinced Golden Tiger to give me
his clothes, so I can run to the
only place I think they might see
me as more than a shiny gold coin.
EXT. ROAD- SAME TIME- AFTERNOON
Golden Tiger sits wearing Birdy’s cape with her dress draped
across his lap, showing too much flesh.
EXT. GEORGE AND ETHELFRITHA’S MANOR- NIGHT
Ragged and exhausted, Birdy approaches a house in the woods,

and staggers toward the door.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Uncle George is a hero and perhaps
he can tell me how to be one
myself. Not just in fantasies. But
in real life.
She raps at the door using a large welded knocker. It

thunders through an empty-sounding house. She waits. The door
finally rumbles open, revealing her uncle George. He is tired
and drunk, bloated and sad. Our Golden George is a thing of
the past.
GEORGE
(coldly)
We have nothing for you, peasant
boy.
BIRDY
No, Uncle George.
90.
Birdy removes her hat.
BIRDY (CONT’D)
It is I, Catherine.
GEORGE
Bird?
She hugs her uncle around the waist.
INT. GEORGE AND ETHELFRITHA’S MANOR- SOLAR- NIGHT
Birdy sits across from George and Ethelfritha, wrapped in

blankets and cozy. A fire roars. George and Ethelfritha wear
their matching sleep outfits- George looks dashing but
distracted, a little lifeless, in his silk robe. Birdy is
eating an orange from an ornate dish.
ETHELFRITHA
Delicious, no? I had my first
orange upon my father’s return from
the Moorish country.
BIRDY
I should like to go to the Moorish
country!
GEORGE
I had bet you would. I should think
you’d like to go anywhere your
father isn’t.
BIRDY
We have a baby due any day, you
know. My father wants a boy but we
secretly hope for a girl.
(beat)
And I am to marry Shaggy Beard.
GEORGE
(stunned)
Of Lithgow?
BIRDY
It is he.
GEORGE
Oh, Birdy. I knew it would be
someone of note, but not that sort
of note.
(beat, empathy lessening)
Lord Murgaw keeps a fine house and
he will keep you well.
91.
ETHELFRITHA
He owns three small towns and a
leper colony- perhaps you can keep
an arboretum in the back there
behind it? George himself has
started a garden of plants beloved
by Christ.
GEORGE
It is barely a garden, my love, but
a place to smoke my pipe in peace.
Thus far only the crows seem
impressed by my green thumb.
ETHELFRITHA
(proudly)
Crows adore George! They find him
soothing.
Beat.
GEORGE
This tea has soothed me, my
darling, and so I must retire.
BIRDY
(confused)
But I have just arrived.
GEORGE
I tire easily these days. I am not
young.
(sad smile)
My back stoops and my stomach
bloats. In the morning, I will
deliver you back to Stonebridge.
Birdy stares at her uncle, who was also her first love.
BIRDY
Uncle George, please tuck me in?
He stares at her- despite the ways he’s changed, her face

still tugs at his heart strings.
INT. GEORGE AND ETHELFRITHA’S MANOR- GUEST CHAMBER - NIGHT
George pulls back the covers on a bed in a richly decorated

room and Birdy scrambles in.
GEORGE
Alright, blow out the candle.
92.
BIRDY
No, will you tell me a story?
George sighs, sitting down in the rocking chair beside the

bed.
GEORGE
I don’t think I know any stories.
BIRDY
You? No stories? But you have been
around the world. You have seen the
ocean.
GEORGE
But I did not keep a little book
like you do. And so the memories
have slipped through my hands like
snow when I try and take them home.
(beat)
I remember very little about very
little...
Beat.
BIRDY
Uncle George?
GEORGE
Yes, Bird.
BIRDY
If you are a hero, then why did you
not try and save me?
GEORGE
Save you?
BIRDY
From my father. From Shaggy Beard.
From my future...
GEORGE
But you see, Bird, I am not a hero.
(beat)
Can you ever forgive me, my sweet
girl?
BIRDY
You are right, Uncle George- heroes
are just in storybooks. Even the
saints only escaped by dying.
93.
GEORGE
And that does not sound like much
of an answer either.
BIRDY
Do you love Ethelfritha?
GEORGE
As best I know how.
BIRDY
Do you love...
(beat)
Me?
GEORGE
(smiling, a flash of his
old self)
Desperately.
INT. GEORGE AND ETHELFRITHA'S MANOR- GUEST CHAMBER- MORNING
Birdy sleeps, the candle burnt down to a nub, and George

snores lightly in the rocking chair beside her. Ethelfritha,
still in fantastic pajamas, busts in and shakes Birdy. She
awakens with a start.
BIRDY
Ah!
ETHELFRITHA
Shhh! Hurry! We must go and feed
the owls.
EXT. GEORGE AND ETHELFRITHA’S MANOR- GARDEN- MORNING
Birdy follows Ethelfritha to a large wooden habitat in the

back yard. Between metal bars, she sees only sticks and
leaves.
BIRDY
There is nothing inside.
ETHELFRITHA
Just you wait, little bird.
Ethelfritha pulls a dead white mouse from her pocket and

hurls it through the bars. The owls swoop and one catches it.
They return to their bars, hoo-hooing and staring with their
big eyes. Birdy looks on in awe.
94.
BIRDY
I keep birds, but mine are very
small!
ETHELFRITHA
These are more than birds. They are
creatures. I’m a creature, too, you
know.
(beat)
Shaggy Beard, eh?
BIRDY
It is not fair.
ETHELFRITHA
You’re right, Birdy. It is not
fair. You should not have to marry
him.
BIRDY
I should not!
ETHELFRITHA
Or have to be a lady.
BIRDY
I hate being a lady!
ETHELFRITHA
(leaning in
conspiratorially)
Then let us run away.
BIRDY
Us?
ETHELFRITHA
Why not? I am rich and you are
young. Together, we have it all. We
can make our way to Arabia and
taste the orange straight from the
tree. Have you ever met a lion?
Birdy is finding her aunt more and more manic and also
starting to consider the reality of the situation.
BIRDY
(hesitant)
No...
ETHELFRITHA
A sultan? Would you like to slay a
sultan and steal his gold? Yes?
95.
Beat.
BIRDY
Yes! I would... But I would miss
Morwenna, my nurse.
ETHELFRITHA
Silly girl, you are too old for a
nurse.
BIRDY
And Perkin. He is my dearest
friend.
ETHELFRITHA
You need no friends when you have
adventure.
BIRDY
At least if I am in Lithgow I can
visit home. I can sleep in my bed
at Christmas, check on my mother.
(beat)
If we went on a big adventure I
could never reunite with Aelis.
And I would never see the baby
grow. And they would miss me. They
would miss me, Birdy.
Ethelfritha smiles. Birdy gets it. They are divinely trapped

in their lives and sometimes it is not a curse but a comfort.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- LATE MORNING
Birdy looks out at her home with a new fondness. Her arms are
wrapped around George’s waist as they gallop home on his
white horse.
George hops off the horse and helps his niece down, catching
her in a hug as she slides off the saddle. For a moment, he
can protect her. Then he lets go.
BIRDY
Uncle George?
GEORGE
Yes, Bird.
BIRDY
(real advice)
Next time a peasant boy raps on
your door, please give him a scrap
of something to eat.
96.
GEORGE
Bye Birdy.
They hug deeply.
BIRDY
Bye Uncle George.
Morwenna rushes to the door, angry and frazzled.
MORWENNA
Birdy! You pest, you rat, you-
(beat)
We were so afraid. Golden Tiger
arrived late last night in your
cape, CRYING!
She hugs Birdy tight, crying into the front of her dress.
Birdy kisses Morwenna all over the face, kissing her tears.
The love between them is apparent and, for a moment, free of
the push pull we’ve come to know.
BIRDY
Do not weep, Morwenna. When you do,
you puff up and resemble a roast
beef.
MORWENNA
My Bird, it’s your mother.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN'S CHAMBER- DAY
Aislinn is in the midst of a painful and terrifying labor, on

her knees on her bed holding two ropes tied to the bed post.
Her chambermaid, concerned, supports her on one side while
NAN the midwife is between her legs from behind. This isn’t
pretty TV labor- it is grim and real, the sheets soaked with
sweat and dotted with blood.
NAN
Push more still, Lady Aislinn.
Gather your strength yet.
Aislinn screams. Birdy runs to the head of the bed.
BIRDY
It is me, mother.
AISLINN
Urrrggghhh. Gahhhh.
Her eyes roll back in her head.

97.
BIRDY
Your Birdy. Your only one. I am
back, Mumma.
Morwenna is pulling at Birdy.
MORWENNA
Leave her be, Bird. She can’t hear
you right now.
BIRDY
I will always be the person you
want me to be, Mumma. I promise.
Aislinn lets out a long, wild scream.
NAN
A crown!
Nan looks closely.
NAN (CONT’D)
Stuck. The skull too big to pass.
The door opens and the priest, FATHER HUY, enters. A few
servant girls scatter.
NAN (CONT’D)
(whispering)
There is nothing to be done. You
must baptize, father. Now. Bless
them both.
The priest begins. Birdy watches in horror.
FATHER HUY
Our father who art in heaven,
hallowed by thy name, your kingdom
come, your will be done, on earth
as in heaven.
AISLINN
Stop it! I can do it!
FATHER HUY
Lead us not into temptation--
Just then Rollo enters, screaming.
ROLLO
Did I hear that you are giving up?
98.
NAN
Lord Rollo, we have tried all there
is to try. The babe’s head is stuck
deep within her hips.
FATHER HUY
We baptize the baby in the name of
the Holy Father.
Rollo grabs the priest by the neck.
ROLLO
Doubters! Doubters, all of you! My
holy wife will not fail to do this.
My holy child will not fail to
live.
He hurries from the room, bellowing nonsense, then moves

close to the terrified Nan.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
You, midwife, will stay. You will
stay and you will not sleep until
the child is delivered forth
safely. I will not lose another
child and I will not lose my only
wife. Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR
ME!?
NAN
(whispered)
Yes, m’lord.
ROLLO
(to the Priest)
Thank you, we do not need you. Get
out and don’t come back!
Nan looks at the cook.
NAN
Go get some more boiling water and
rags, and some butter too.
Rollo kneels at his wife’s side.
ROLLO
My darling. My brave, beautiful
darling, who is all I need and all
I hold sacred. You were born for
this. You are strong. So strong.
99.
AISLINN
Rollo, my love. If this is to be,
it is to be. But if it is not, and
I am not, then all I ask is you
make sure our children find their
place in this world. Not just any
place. Their place. Do you... Can
you...
Her lip trembles. Her hands loosen on the ropes a bit.
ROLLO
No.
(tears in his eyes,
gentle smile)
No. Look at me. All that I am is
us. All that I can be, you already
are. You are so good, so wise, so
powerful. So spritely in the
morning and so grumpy if you’re
denied a nap. So happy when the
first flowers bloom and so pitiful
when it rains. So good to our
children and so intolerant of
fools, but too polite to show it.
So close to God while barely ever
uttering his name. I want to make
you laugh and to make you safe, and
I will not live in a world where
our children’s children do not have
the chance to hear you laugh as you
watch them tumble on our grass.
(beat)
Can you try? Will you try?
A soft, loving beat as they gaze into each other’s eyes.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
(to Nan)
Do not stand idle! Get the doctor!
Get two doctors! Get three!
(to Aislinn)
You are so strong.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- MORNING
The town is misty and solemn. A few farmers are afoot but
they move slowly in the heavy air.
100.
The servants change out the dirty rushes and open the leather
window flaps, letting the air and light in.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN'S CHAMBER- MORNING
Close up: An empty cradle dressed in white lace.
Close up: Aislinn and Rollo’s empty bed.
Sat in a rocking chair by the window, Aislinn- pale but

mighty- breastfeeds a tiny, naked baby.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Our baby was born last evening, a
dear beautiful scrawny little girl.
We widen out to find a second baby in Rollo’s arms.
BIRDY (V.O.)
In fact, two of them.
Birdy enters the frame and dangles a gold tassel on one

baby’s head, kissing the other. Aislinn laughs.
BIRDY (V.O.)
My father, for all his bellowing
about sons, is floating on air.
Which brings me to the strangest
words I have ever said: thank you
to my father, the most unlikely
agent of a miracle that I know.
Birdy writes at her desk, the cradle beside her- the babies
sleeping peacefully, head to toe, inside it. Birdy rocks the
cradle with one lazy, ecstatic arm. She smiles at the babies,
who slumber in linen swaddling.
BIRDY (V.O.)
We will call them Eleanor and Mary
Catherine, proper yet lovely. I
wish I had more time to teach them
tricks.
101.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- DAY
Birdy lies in the tall grass, taking in her surroundings. She

spies Meg and Alf walking further down the hill, holding
hands and engaged in private, sweet conversation. Meg carries
a rough but charming bouquet of flowers, a gift from Alf.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Tenth day of June. I feel something
changed inside of me. Just because
I cannot be happy does not mean
that I do not wish happiness for
others. Joy is infectious, I am
learning. I want to save Aelis and
I think I know a way, even if it
means sacrifice.
Birdy is talking with her drunken father and Robert, but this
time it’s not a fight. We barely hear them, as we exist in
Birdy’s roaring mind as she makes this decision. She holds
the velvet bag of coins out and, knowing she’s sealed her
fate to Shaggy Beard, dumps them. The sound of clattering
coins brings us into the present. Robert starts gathering and
counting the coins.
ROBERT
Is it coins?
BIRDY
Yes, Shaggy Beard’s.
ROBERT
For... me? Is it enough, father? Is
it??
BIRDY
Yes, you fool. I counted it.
Rollo is shocked.
ROLLO
Wonderful I can buy my tiger back!
They both stare at him incredulously.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Robert, I am jesting. We will plan
a wedding forthwith.
102.
ROBERT
(in disbelief)
Well this means I am a husband.
ROLLO
Not yet...
ROBERT
(to Birdy)
This is really nice. The first nice
thing you have done for me.
Fantastic!
Robert begins to jump up and down like a teenage girl, does a

happy dance and happy dances out of the room.
Rollo looks at his daughter, understanding her deep and

inherent goodness. She is a remarkable woman, despite him.
Unsure of how to express this, he grabs her shoulders tight

and, almost vibrating with love, shakes her. She nods at him
as if to say “yes, sir.”
BIRDY (V.O.)
This was as much for Aelis as it
was for my brother, likely more.
She is safe now. I may not be safe
with her, but I do know she will
walk my grounds, sleep in my
quarters, watch out for Perkin, and
feel something like love.
Aelis and Robert dance at Aelis’s wedding, staring into each

other’s eyes. Aelis looks like Lily Collins at the Oscars,
only 14 and anaemic.
BIRDY (V.O.)
We are having a wedding, for my
Aelis and her Robert. It may be the
last time I ever celebrate so I
better enjoy it.
The field is full of the people who love them and the ones
they love.
Birdy’s whole family.
Perkin in his finest coat (which has a rip at the seam).
Morwenna with her breasts hiked high in a royal blue gown.

103.
Meg and Alf kiss and cuddle, their hands entwined with
wedding rings on. Meanwhile, the Baker tenderly hand-feeds
Berenice bites of fancy cakes and pastries from a platter.
They kiss without shame as Lord Sidebottom grumbles in a push
chair.
As Robert and Aelis’s dance ends, Aelis reaches for Birdy and
together they dance a merry jig, whirling and twirling, no
longer girls, though not exactly women either.
We see Rollo dancing while Aislinn watches and smiles- he

dances much like his daughter, delicate, free and joyous. He
bows to his son, who bows back.
They dance on, the moves all their own.
Rollo looks as cheerful as he can. Aislinn stares at him as a

single tear falls from his eye, despite his lips being
stretched into a smile.
AISLINN
Oh, Rollo.
She whispers something to him. His face contorts in pain.
BIRDY (V.O.)
One more night in my own bed,
then... Shaggy Beard.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- MORNING
The bells on Aelis’s toes become the church bells ringing on

a rainy morning. The family- Aislinn, the babies Eleanor and
Mary Catherine, Rollo, Robert, Aelis- form a goodbye line for
Birdy, who is stepping into a cart.
Aislinn smiles, pained, and holds the babies up.
Aelis tears up and Robert comforts her.
Perkin stands with his goats, waggling a little finger

awkwardly.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Do not cry. Do not cry.
Birdy steps past the group and through the gatehouse. They
wave.
PERKINS
Goodbye Birdy!
104.
MORWENNA
We love you Birdy!
MEG
Birdy!
Meg breaks through the crowd, running in her dirty skirt, and
gives Birdy a quick kiss on the cheek. She turns to run back
to the servants, but Birdy clutches her, hugging her as hard
as she wants to hug all the others, panting into her hair.
Meg lets out a little cry. After a beat, she lets go and Meg
retreats.
Before she turns onto the road, Birdy looks back at her
family and- despite her clear pain and desperation- sticks
her tongue out. It’s a tiny gesture, brave and playful, and
a teary-eyed Rollo takes it in.
AISLINN
(whispered to Rollo)
Sometimes as the man of the house
you have to make very hard
decisions.
Birdy enters the carriage waiting beyond the gatehouse

entrance.
INT. CARRIAGE- SAME TIME- MORNING
As Birdy enters she makes eye contact with the waiting Shaggy
Beard, who smiles tightly with his mouth though not his eyes,
his hands folded around a handkerchief in his lap. He blows
his nose. She doesn’t smile back, but she is placid, resigned
to her fate.
SHAGGY BEARD
My yearly hay fever has come about-
I trust you know how to prepare a
proper cordial for your lord?
The carriage takes off for Shaggy Beard’s castle. As they

ride he chats on and on, his dialogue dulling to an abstract
drone in Birdy’s ears.
105.

My health has never that of a man
in his prime, but I have always
dealt with it by being pure of
habit and maintaining a stolid
countenance, a regular schedule of
cool baths and requiring that the
servants dust daily under the
wardrobe to rid the space of
impurities.
Then, a shout. “BIRDY!” Someone is calling. “CATHERINE!

BIRDY!” Her father catches up with the carriage, jumping and
pounding the side.
ROLLO
Stop! Stop! Stop!
It finally draws to a stop.
SHAGGY BEARD
My lord?
ROLLO
My lord indeed.
(panting)
Good sir. We have changed our
minds.
SHAGGY BEARD
Excuse me, my lord? I seem not to
have heard you, for my allergies--
ROLLO
We’ve changed our bloody minds! The
girl remains with us.
Birdy looks at her father in shock.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
For the time being.
(beat)
Frankly, sir, I would burn in hell
for allowing my daughter to accept
a proposal from such a rank and
uniformly uncompelling man. She
will die of boredom and
furthermore, you resemble a bear
who has attempted union with our
local locksmith. It cannot be.
106.
Birdy is utterly flummoxed- could this be real? Is it a hoax

from the man who has always treated her like she’s made of
roaches? Shaggy Beard departs the carriage, careful of the
mud, and stands in the road with Rollo.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Birdy, out of the carriage.
She starts to follow, but is sharply stopped:
SHAGGY BEARD
(terrifying tone)
Stay. My lady, stay.
She watches from the window of the carriage.

Well, you’ve spent my money I gave
for her dowry, so I do not see what
we have to discuss.
ROLLO
The fact is, sir, I am walking back
that path with my own daughter
under my own arm.
Beat.
SHAGGY BEARD
If you want Lady Catherine, we will
duel.
ROLLO
Alright. Yes of course. A duel.
That does seem fair... May I just
take a moment to... Fine, yes, I
see...
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am to believe that my father
plans to fight this man, swordplay
being a skill he does not possess,
in order to keep me, his greatest
pest from having to marry?!
ROLLO
Robert! Collect my sword and
accoutrements! For we are to...
(beat)
DUEL!
SHAGGY BEARD
Etienne! My sword!
107.
Up by the gatehouse, Robert announces it to those around him,

eyes lit up with excitement.
ROBERT
We are having a DUEL!
The town rings out with people shouting DUEL!!! DUEL!!!
ROLLO
So duel to the death... or what?
SHAGGY BEARD
Aye! But if by my sword you do not
die, I promise you life-changing
injuries today, sir.
ROLLO
Thank you!
Around Shaggy Beard and Rollo, townspeople start to crowd.

They are SO DARN EXCITED. Robert appears with Rollo’s sword,
as well as his Rollo’s MANSERVANT who begins to suit Rollo up
with chain mail. On Shaggy Beard’s side the same thing is
happening with his groom.
Aislinn and Morwenna appear, each holding a twin, and they

grin at Birdy in nervous shock.
Behind them, Perkin with Alf and Gerd and Meg- this is prime
entertainment but there is also a hush- because it has
consequences.
Still in the carriage, Birdy is watching it all in awe.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
And if this duel is won by I, Lord
Rollo of Stonebridge, then you will
return our Lady.
Shaggy Beard nods.
SHAGGY BEARD
And if it is won by I, Lord Murgaw
of more villages than I can name in
one earthly breath, you will hand
me my wife.
Rollo nods solemnly.

Someone say go!
ROBERT (O.S.)
Go!
108.
And OFF WE GO.
The two men begin- while they aren’t knights, they fight with
some power and confidence, clearly each serious about
winning. It’s unclear for a beat who is on top, with each
making some serious strides.
Then, Shaggy Beard gets Rollo in a compromising position and

he wounds him- a sword slash across the chest that bleeds.
Rollo stumbles back, weakened and scared.
AISLINN
Rollo!
ROBERT
Father!
ROLLO
It’s alright, Robert. It’s alright.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I am too afraid to speak, but if I
could I would tell you not to lose
blood for me. You have Mumma and
the babies to look after. Be
careful father.
Rollo looks to Aislinn, who makes intense powerful eye

contact and blows him a kiss, then to Birdy who throws him an
adoring child like gaze of wonder that says she believes him
but, moreover, that she needs him.
And with that he gathers his strength, lets out a growl and
charges Shaggy Beard, who crumples:
SHAGGY BEARD
Oh, Christ our Savior, my spine. My
legs. They tingle! They tingle! Me
back is gone! I suffer from a sore
case of spinal weakening! Pause!
Pause!
Robert steps in from the crowd.
ROBERT
There is no clause to pause for
spinal weakening, Lord.
ROLLO
(giddy, relieved)
My Lord, that is called losing.
109.
Robert and Rollo do the Medieval equivalent of a chest bump.

Rollo lets out a cry of pain, realizing he just chest bumped
with a chest gash.
SHAGGY BEARD
I do not call that defeat. We
simply ran into a barrier and could
not continue the match. We shall
depart forthwith.
He staggers towards the carriage.
ROLLO
Not without you giving us our lady,
you won’t.
And then, Rollo starts a cheer.
ROLLO (CONT’D)
Give us our lady! Give us our lady!
The whole town joins. GIVE US OUR LADY! GIVE US OUR LADY!
GIVE US OUR LADY!
Shaggy Beard’s carriage attempts to pull out but cheering

villagers have circled around it and stopped it. GIVE US OUR
LADY! The crowd starts to rock his cart. Inside, Birdy and
Shaggy Beard are being jangled back and forth, sliding all
around. Shaggy Beard screeches like a little girl.
As the carriage stops our Catherine, smiling, realizes she is

free to just dismount. And so she opens the door and hops
out, coming face to face with her father who stares
plaintively. After a beat, he grins.
The last image of the scene: Birdy in her father’s arms, both
cheering.
BIRDY (V.O.)
If I’ve inherited a bit of my
father’s heart... I suppose I shall
leave it there in my chest.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- AFTERNOON
Birdy takes her cage, walks to the window and opens the door.
She releases her birds, one by one, into the air.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I will never fully fathom what my
father did for me.
110.
It’s a beautiful moment as she throws them each out and they
fly through the air with ease and grace.
BIRDY (V.O.)
What any father should do for any
daughter, but rarely does. Better
late than never.
Birdy waves at each of her birds. We can hear her call to

them.
BIRDY
Goodbye, Juniper! Goodbye,
Breadberry! Goodbye, Joseph!
Goodbye, Sir Neal! GOODBYE, LARD
TURD, MY FAVORITE!
(whispering)
Do not tell Breadberry.
BIRDY (V.O.)
I wish I could help every girl in
the world, but for now I am enough.
And I know he has not granted me a
pardon, only a reprieve from the
most ungodly beast of marriage, but
my father will find that my
gratitude does not mean I have lost
my fight.
She releases the final one and smiles to herself, running

back toward the hall before she can see it take a massive
nose-dive, making a hollow thump.
EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE/STREAM- DUSK
As dusk falls, Birdy walks along the stream. The same place
she has always lived looks new and beautiful to her now- the
setting sun creating a rosy glow.
She walks up along the field.
BIRDY (V.O.)
It is in this field I raged and
dreamed and met Aelis in secret and
cried over uncle George and over
the fate I have been able to trick,
just a bit.
She troops through the village.

111.
BIRDY (V.O.)
There is the goat barn where I met
Perkin when I was but a babe,
hiding from Morwenna’s silly slap.
She walks past the bakery.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And here is where the smell of
bread is so strong it makes me want
to eat the whole entire world as if
it were a mere loaf.
Birdy looks out over the sunset town, dotted with houses,
carts, people, animals, life.
BIRDY (V.O.)
And some day I will take my little
sisters to the tippy top of the
village and say run, little girls.
Lift your skirts and run for
everyone to see.
INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- DAY
Birdy lays in her bed, hair down, scribbling away. As she

writes, her words appear on screen in her signature cursive.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Here ends the book of Catherine,
called Little Bird or Birdy, of the
manor of Stonebridge in the shire
of Lincoln, the country of England,
in the hands of God.
Birdy hears a sound and looks out the window down at the
haystacks, where Morwenna is in the throes of passion with
the toothless cart driver.
MORWENNA
Oh, Golden Tiger!
Birdy smiles. We pull out to reveal Perkin on a separate

stack, writing slowly but surely in his own little book,
showing the letters to a curious Gerd.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Someday, this journal will belong
to my sisters. The two of you can
see what I made of becoming a
woman. It was not much, but it was
my own.
112.
INT. ABBEY BEDROOM- AFTERNOON
Edward sits at his desk, unwrapping a parcel.
BIRDY (V.O.)
For right now, it’s up to you to
decide Edward, has writing in this
diary made me more learned?
It is Birdy’s diary- he opens it to a page with a drawing

Birdy has made- her hand on Jesus’s bum.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Or simply more cheekier?
EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- SAME TIME- AFTERNOON
Birdy and Perkin play their usual game of fetch. He chucks

the stick. She runs hard, ecstatic to be where she is, as he
chases her.
Behind Birdy, in the distance, a man comes on horseback. Is

he a stranger? A messenger? Another suitor for her to fight?
It doesn’t matter right now, because what she doesn’t know

can’t hurt her, and there’s so much she doesn’t yet know. She
is panting, having caught the stick, and she throws it for
Perkin, who takes off. The man on horseback looms closer.
BIRDY (V.O.)
Things girls can do: run in the
fields, invent original curses,
save the day, pee standing up, well
that one was a bit tricky, and keep
fighting... no matter who may come
on horseback!
She raises her chin, her hair sweaty to her brow, and makes
eye contact with the camera. Is that a wink we see?
She looks behind her and notices the man, then looks back at
us, shaking her head.
THE END.

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CATHERINE CALLED BIRDY

Based on the book by Karen Cushman

A sunny day for a cottage-raising! All the villagers are

It’s all business as usual, a well oiled machine, until one

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GREAT HALL- MOMENTS LATER- MORNING

Suddenly a crash and a boom as a mutt barks and runs through

Birdy: our protagonist, a playful 14-year-old with a sharp

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S HALLWAY- MOMENTS LATER-

The boy, PERKIN, a goatherd with a limp and a pubescent

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- MOMENTS LATER-

A lady-like room adorned with tapestries, a canopy bed, a

Morwenna shakes her head, starts to fold some scattered

Morwenna starts to laugh.

Morwenna is laughing even harder, unable to contain her

Over Birdy’s raging, her VO rises.

OVER THE IMAGE, A HAND WRITES, AS IF ON AN ILLUMINATED

CATHERINE CALLED BIRDY.

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- SAME TIME- MORNING

This is Birdy’s father, LORD ROLLO’S man cave, hung with

He takes a drink. Then another.

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- AISLINN’S CHAMBERS- SAME TIME-

Her mother LADY AISLINN (early 30s, frail and stunning,

EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- YARD- SAME TIME- MORNING

Outside, Morwenna hangs sheets on a line while spying on

INT. ABBEY BEDROOM - SAME TIME- MORNING

EDWARD (21, a handsome dark-haired monk) sits in his robe at

Edward the Monk

EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- YARD- SAME TIME- MORNING

Birdy grabs Robert’s sword from him, unwieldy and massive in

BIRDY AND PERKIN

They collapse laughing.

He sticks his butt out and farts at her.

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- MORNING

Birdy toils over her spinning, tangling it.

She is corrected by Morwenna, who has clearly surrendered her

INT./EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- PRIVY- AFTERNOON

Birdy runs, her tangled spinning in her hands, and deposits

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY'S CHAMBER- NIGHT

Birdy, wearing her nightdress, sits at her desk and writes in

EXT. STONEBRIDGE FIELD- AFTERNOON

Birdy runs, overjoyed.

She moves toward camera and then just past it.

INT./EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- GOAT BARN- DAY

Birdy sits on the hay, looking through a bound book of Latin

Nearby MEG (lovely, a little older than Birdy, in modern

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- BIRDY’S CHAMBER- DAY

Birdy continues to mindlessly spin yarn with Morwenna.

Outside the window she watches...

EXT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- MORNING

On the grass in front of the manor, Birdy’s father Lord Rollo

The peasant fights back.

Birdy walks through their flower garden.

Her father drops his sword to tend to the flowers.

EXT. STONEBRIDGE VILLAGE- DAY

Birdy runs through the village with a chicken in her arms. A

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- HALL OUTSIDE SOLAR- DAY

Birdy lies on the ground, listening through the crack under

INT. STONEBRIDGE MANOR- SOLAR- SAME TIME- DAY