Module 12: Revising Your Fact Sheet Draft

Table of Contents

Module Overview
Module To-Do List
What is Revision?
The Revision Process
Step One: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve the Content
Video: How to Paraphrase in 5 Easy Steps
Learning Activity: Revising the Content of Your Draft
Step Two: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve the Organization and Document Design
Review Your Report Sections
B) Review your Document Design and Formatting
Examples of Fact Sheet Document Design
Learning Activity: Revising the Organization and Design of your Fact Sheet Draft
Step 3: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve Grammar, Mechanics and Clarity
Learning Activity: Revising the Grammar, Mechanics and Clarity of your Draft
A Short Lesson on Using Lists and Parallel Form in Your Fact Sheet
Video: Parallel Form
Journal Entry #12: Submit a Section of Fact Sheet for Feedback
Module Wrap-Up

Module Overview

In this module, you will learn how to revise your fact sheet draft, addressing three major aspects
of your writing: its content, organization, and writing mechanics. This will help you create a
polished and audience-friendly fact sheet that also fulfills the assignment requirements.

At this stage, you have completed a draft of your fact sheet on your workplace issue that affects
worker well-being, aimed at an audience of workers most affected by this issue. You used the
outline you created to help you organize the information in your draft under headers that act as
“road signs” for the reader, letting them know what content to expect in each section.
In this module, you will learn the importance of revising your writing and getting your fact sheet
ready for submission.

If you haven’t yet completed your draft, please do so before proceeding with this
module.

Module To-Do List

● Read and work through this week’s module materials, including videos
● Revise the content, organization and clarity of your fact sheet by completing the learning
activities in this module
● Complete Journal Entry #12 and 12B: Submit Section(s) of Fact Sheet for Feedback by
the due date

What is Revision?

Once you’ve written a draft, your work as a writer is not yet finished! Nobody writes a perfect
first draft. Professional writers take the time to revise their work carefully several times in order
to improve its content, organization, and overall clarity.

When we revise, we work through the draft of our document several times, each time looking to
improve different aspects of the writing. We attempt to see our work through “fresh eyes” and
experience it as a reader would; this helps us notice which aspects need to be corrected,
clarified, expanded or even eliminated.

In revision, we make substantial changes to our drafts: we might add or delete sentences and
paragraphs, change the order of the sections, paragraphs and sentences, resulting in a very
different looking document. We also are working to improve the clarity and correctness of the
writing, editing for grammar, punctuation, etc.

Given how involved revision can be, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. It can be hard to know
where to start, what to focus on, and what changes to prioritize. But revision doesn’t have to be
stressful, if you take the process one step at a time.
The Revision Process

The revision process involves starting large and ending small: this means that before you tackle
smaller details like spelling and grammar, you will consider the “big picture” elements like the
presentation of your ideas and evidence.

This is why we will begin with revising the content of your fact sheet, move into the organization
and structure, and finish by correcting the mechanics of your writing.

As you work through the following revision steps, keep the assignment instructions
for the Fact Sheet Assignment close at hand. You will need to consult them often
throughout this process.

Step One: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve the Content

First, you want to be sure that you have fulfilled the purpose of the fact sheet, as described in
the assignment instructions.

The primary purpose of your fact sheet is to inform workers most affected by the problem about
the problem. You may have a secondary purpose, which could be to persuade them to respond
in a particular way or take a specific action. With these purposes in mind, review your work
carefully to answer the following questions:

Do your fact sheet sections provide enough detailed information and explanation to
adequately inform your audience of workers affected by this issue?

The danger here is to simply skim the surface of your topic and make over-
generalizations about the workplace issue. If you haven’t gone into enough depth, you
may want to go back to your research and notes, and reflect further to add more depth of
detail. The headings of your sections can guide you in focusing on one detailed aspect
of your topic at a time. Remember that your audience may not have an extensive
knowledge of the topic you are writing about.

❏ Does the content of each section correspond to the heading?

For example, if you have a “Causes and Contributing Factors” section, does it focus on
causes of your workplace problem?

Eliminate or move any content that doesn’t belong in a section. For example, if you are
describing effects in your “Causes and Contributing Factors” section, you’ll want to
move them to the relevant section!
 ❏ Is each section supported with evidence from your research that your
professional audience would find credible?

The points you raise about your topic are only as strong as the evidence you use to
illustrate them. Your audience expects you to support all of your points with concrete
evidence from your research. The more specific and relevant the evidence you include,
the more credible your report will be.

❏ Is the wording of your paraphrasing and summarizing of sources sufficiently

accurate and original?

All of the evidence you draw from outside sources should be in your own words, so you
want to make sure that you’ve been effective in your paraphrasing and summary by
checking your wording against the wording of the original source.

Video: How to Paraphrase in 5 Easy Steps

For some quick tips on how to paraphrase accurately and effectively without
plagiarizing, take a look at this short and helpful video:

How to Paraphrase in 5 Easy Steps

❏ Do you explain or interpret the evidence you include to explain why it is significant
or what it means?

You want to ensure that you are guiding the reader towards an interpretation of the
evidence and not leaving it to stand alone or speak for itself. For example, if you’ve
provided statistics about how many student workers are injured on the job, you’ll want to
explain to the reader why these statistics matter or how they should think about and
understand these statistics in the larger context of your fact sheet.

Learning Activity: Revising the Content of Your Draft

With the purpose and audience of your fact sheet in mind, use the checklist below to review
 and revise its content. Most of the time, you’ll need to do a little work before you’re able to
check a box; take some time to fully consider each question and push yourself to improve
these key elements of the content.

Remember that your professor will be asking questions like these when they evaluate your
report!

❏ Do your fact sheet sections provide enough detailed information and explanation to
fully inform and empower your audience?
❏ Does the content of each section correspond to the heading?
❏ Is each section supported with evidence from your research that your audience would
find credible or convincing?
❏ Is the wording of the paraphrasing and summarizing of your sources sufficiently
accurate and original?
❏ Do you offer explanations and interpretations of the evidence to explain why it is
significant or what the audience could or should do with that information?

Step Two: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve the Organization and Document
Design

Review Your Report Sections

❏ Have you organized your fact sheet into 5-7 sections with headings?

First, you want to make sure that you have included 5-7 sections that cover the most
essential information about your workplace problem. These may include

❏ Description(s) of the problem

❏ Key terms associated with the problem
❏ Causes of the problem
❏ Effects of the problem
❏ Who is most affected
❏ Potential solutions to the problem
❏ How to take action on this issue

They might also include headings that are unique to your topic, audience and purpose.

❏ Are the sections organized logically? Do they present the information in the way that will
make sense to your audience?
The fact sheet should order its sections logically. It makes sense, for example to introduce your
specific topic to your audience, or to explain causes of a problem before considering its effects.
Solutions or Recommendations for Action will likely come towards the end of the fact sheet, as
you’ll want to leave your audience with a sense of what they could or should do next.

B) Review your Document Design and Formatting

Fact sheets are designed to be read quickly and should be organized in a visually appealing
and reader-friendly format. Module 7 has a full section on principles of good document design,
including specific tips for the fact sheet. You can find examples of professional fact sheets
below.

Examples of Fact Sheet Document Design

Review the following examples of professional fact sheets, noting their design.
Your final assignment will look a lot like these examples:

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Workplace Discrimination and Legal Frameworks

Non-Binary Gender Identities

As you review and revise the design and formatting of your fact sheet draft, consider using the
following elements to improve its readability:

❏ White space between sections

❏ Bolded or larger fonts for section headings
❏ Consistent fonts
❏ Columns
❏ Bulleted or numbered lists to organize lists of three items or more
❏ Short paragraphs
❏ Subtle use of colour

Avoid using images in your fact sheet. Because the fact sheet is such a concise
document, you need to use all your available space to provide high-quality
information to your reader. Images don’t add much to the overall effect and aren’t
really worth the space they take up!
 Learning Activity: Revising the Organization and Design of your
Fact Sheet Draft

Use the checklist below to review and revise your report’s organization.

❏ Does your fact sheet have 5-7 headings?

❏ Does each section have an effective heading?
❏ Are sections presented in a logical order?

❏ Have you reviewed and revised the design and formatting of your fact sheet so that it
is attractive and easy to read, incorporating elements such as

White space between sections

Bolded or larger fonts for section headings
Consistent fonts
Columns
Bulleted or numbered lists to organize lists of three items or more
Short paragraphs
Subtle use of colour

Step 3: Revise Your Fact Sheet to Improve Grammar, Mechanics and Clarity

As a writer, you want your writing to be as clear and grammatically correct as possible.
This establishes your credibility as a writer, but most importantly, makes it easier for your reader
to understand your ideas. Grammar isn’t just a list of stuffy and confusing rules, it’s your tool for
communicating well!

Here are some practical tips for catching errors in your writing:

● Read passages aloud to see if it is clear and reads smoothly. If you’re stumbling or
need to stop to figure out what you’re trying to say, then that’s a good indication that the
 sentence should be revised. In general, making your sentence shorter or simpler will
make it more readable.

● Be sure to use spell check. This will help catch many typos and spelling errors.

● Use words that you know. Another way to say this is: don’t try to use words you are
unfamiliar with to “sound smart.” In most cases, the clear and simple words that you are
familiar with are the best ones. Just try to be as specific as you can in your language to
avoid over-generalizations.

● Check lists for errors in parallel form.

Humber’s Writing Centre offers free online tutoring and writing handouts to support
your writing.

How to Book an Appointment with Humber’s Writing Centre

Note that the Writing Center gets very busy at the end of semester, so you’ll want to book an
appointment as early as possible!

Learning Activity: Revising the Grammar, Mechanics and Clarity of

your Draft

Use the checklist below to review and revise the overall clarity of your writing:

❏ Read your passages aloud to catch clunky or confusing sentences

❏ Work with your computer’s spell check to catch typos and spelling errors
❏ Use words you know to avoid convoluted phrasing and word choice errors
❏ Revise and edit your lists to improve parallel form (see lesson below)

Need help in revising? Contact the Humber Writing Center for extra support with grammar
and mechanics.
A Short Lesson on Using Lists and Parallel Form in Your Fact Sheet

Hopefully, you have included lists in your fact sheet as part of your document design. To make
these lists effective and clear, you’ll need to make sure that the listed items are in parallel form.
Parallel form is an aspect of grammatically correct writing that is essential for clear
communication.

Because you are not likely to have encountered this grammatical concept before, I’ve included a
brief lesson that you can apply to your writing from now on.

What is parallel form?

Using parallel form means using the same grammatical structure to express two or more similar
ideas:

Not Parallel Parallel

To waste time and missing deadlines. Wasting time and missing deadlines.

Interviews are a matter of acting confident Interviews are a matter of acting and staying
and to stay relaxed. relaxed.

I would appreciate it if you could meet me for I would appreciate it if you could meet me to
discussing the latest project. discuss the latest project.

Video: Parallel Form

Before you continue with the lesson, check out this brief overview of parallel
form. This will help you understand the rest of the material in this module.

Video on Parallel Form (aka Parallel Structure)

Why Use Parallel Form?

When writing your fact sheet, you’ll likely want to list related ideas as you paraphrase and
summarize information from your sources. Using parallel form in lists improves clarity and
readability.
For example, this sentence contains a list that is not in parallel form:

Your job is to research, design, and the implementation of a diversity program.

As you can see in this list of three verbs, one of these things is not like the other!
“Implementation” is a different form than “research” and “design.” This makes the sentence
confusing.

Here is the same list, in correct parallel form:

Your job is to research, design, and implement a diversity program.

In the parallel version, these verbs are all in the same form (research, design, implement).
Notice how this improves the clarity of the sentence.

Vertical and Horizontal Lists

Your fact sheet will likely incorporate both types of lists.

Lists in Horizontal Form

.
Sometimes lists are written in the structure of a full sentence:

Example:

This morning I woke up, made breakfast, and walked the dog.

When lists appear in a sentence like this, it is called a “horizontal list” or “list in horizontal
form”

Lists in Vertical Form

But when you have more than three items in your list, it can be helpful to organize it vertically
with bullets or numbers.

Here is a list in horizontal form:

 To keep exercising you should make a written commitment to yourself, set realistic goals
for each day’s workout, and make sure to go to a friend when you need help.

Here is the same list in vertical form. You can see that it is has more visual impact and makes
the individual items quicker to scan and understand:

To keep exercising you should:

● Write down your commitment

● Set realistic daily goals
● Enlist a friend for support

Lists in Vertical Form: Bulleted vs. Numbered Lists

When to use bullets?

We use bullets when what we are listing does not need to be in any particular order, such
as a grocery list or list of items to pack for a trip

When to use numbers?

We use numbers when what we are listing requires a particular chronological order, as
when we list steps in a recipe or instructions on building an Ikea cabinet

How to structure lists in vertical form

Lists need:
● Lead-ins (introducing, explaining, and context for items)
● Three to eight items (sub-divide if necessary)
● Parallel phrasing
● Reads as one grammatically correct sentence

Writing Effective Lead-in Phrases

Your lead-in phrase should be specific enough that a reader could tell what the list will be about
without actually looking at the listed items themselves.
Here’s an example of a vertical list with all the required elements

Lead-in
phrase
Workplace discrimination can occur during:
Each item in parallel
the recruitment process, form
professional development and training opportunities,
employee selection for transfer and promotion, and
performance assessments. List of 3-8 items

Notice how the

list reads as a
complete
sentence

Journal Entry #12: Submit a Section of Fact Sheet for Feedback

In this week’s journal entry, you’ll submit one drafted and revised section of
your Fact Sheet. Please include the heading of the section as well as the APA in-text
citations for the sources you draw from in the section

This journal entry is based on the drafting instructions you received in Module 11 and the
revision instructions in Module 12. Aim for 150-200 words.

Module Wrap-Up

By the end of this module, you should

❏ Have complete draft of your fact sheet, revised for content, organization and clarity
❏ Move onto complete Journal #12, and submit a section of the fact sheet by the due date
 Additional Editing and Proofreading Resources

Purdue Online Writing Lab

Purdue University has a comprehensive website with documents and exercises on

every stage of writing including grammar support.

Purdue OWL Grammar Resources

Grammar Girl

Grammar Girl has an archive of podcasts and transcripts on how to improve almost
every element of grammar and writing. Here is Grammar Girl’s Editing Checklist:

Grammar Girl’s Editing Checklist

Mary Norris: The Comma Queen

Mary Norris is a revered proofreader from The New Yorker. She has a series of
videos and transcripts on grammar and language.

Mary Norris “The Comma Queen"