Small Talk

What Is Small Talk

Small talk is a light, informal conversation. It is commonly used when you’re talking to
someone you don’t know very well and at networking and social events.

How to Make Small Talk

Four strategies will help you make small talk in any situation.

First, ask open-ended questions. Most people enjoy talking about themselves -- not only
are we our favourite subjects, but it is also easier to discuss yourself than something
you know little about.

Think about it: Would you have a harder time speaking about 14th-century glass
blowing or your favourite book?
Open-ended questions generate an interesting, dynamic conversation and encourage
the person you are speaking with to open up.

Second, practice active listening.

It’s tempting to tune out occasionally, but you’ll forge much stronger connections if you
pay attention. The other person will notice how engaged you seem. In addition, it’s
much easier to ask relevant questions and remembers details to bring up later if you’re
not listening with one ear.

Third, put away your phone. We tend to pull out our phones when we’re feeling
uncomfortable or awkward in social situations, but nothing will sabotage your
conversational efforts more quickly. Few people will approach you if you’re scrolling
through your phone -- and you’ll send a plain message to anyone you’re already talking
to that you’re not interested.

Fourth, show your enthusiasm. Small talk might not always be the most stress-free
activity. However, if you go into it with the right attitude, you can actually have fun.
View these conversations as opportunities to learn more about other people. You never
know whom you’ll meet or what they’ll have to share -- so embrace the chance it’ll be an
amazing discussion.
 Small Talk Topics
1. Your location or venue

2. Shows, movies, plays, etc.

3. Art

4. Food, restaurants, or cooking

5. Their hobbies

6. Their professional interests and responsibilities

7. Sports

8. The climate

9. Travel

10.Their local favorites

Having good small talk topics up your sleeve won’t just help you kick off great
conversations, it’ll also relieve some of the anxiety of walking into an unknown
environment.

1. The location or the venue

Discuss your surroundings. Are you in a beautiful hotel, home, or conference area? Is the
town noteworthy? Did you recently visit somewhere cool nearby?

2. Entertainment
Talk about what you’ve enjoyed lately and what’s on your list. That might include the
Netflix show either you is binge-watching, the last movie each of you saw, the books
you’re reading, the podcasts you’re streaming, any plays you’ve attended, and so on.

3. Art
If the person you’re speaking to enjoys art, ask them which museums they’ve gone to
and would like to visit, their favorite exhibits, which artists they enjoy, if they have any
recommendations for galleries, which genre and medium of art they prefer, how their
interest developed, and so on.

You can also discuss changes in the art world. Are there any new trends developing
they’re interested in (like “post-internet art”)? What are their thoughts?
 4. Food
Food is one of the best small talk topics, since almost everyone loves to eat. Ask which
restaurants they’d recommend and the dishes you should order. If they don’t eat out
often, ask which dishes they like to make at home. Describe an upcoming scenario and
get their opinion on what you should cook or bring. For example, “I’m responsible for
dessert for a housewarming party. There are 10 people coming -- two vegans, one person
with a nut allergy, and another who doesn’t eat gluten. What would you suggest?”
5. Hobbies
Delve into the other person’s passions. They’ll be enthusiastic to talk about what they
love, and you’ll get the chance to connect with them on a deeper level.

Ask what they do in their free time, which activities they participate in outside of work
(and how they became involved), what their childhood hobbies were versus now,
whether they’re taking any classes, and what they’d like to try (sushi-making, novel-
writing, salsa dancing, etc.).

6. Work
Talking about your day jobs can be tricky. You don’t want the conversation to devolve
into a boring comparison of what you do -- which it quickly will unless you steer toward
more interesting territory.

On the other hand, work is a good small talk topic because the vast majority of people
have something to say.

Instead of asking generic questions like, “Where do you work?” “How long have you
worked there?” and “Do you like it?”,
use interesting, unexpected ones such as:
 “My [niece/son/grandchild] wants to become a [profession]. Do you have any
advice I should pass on?”
 “What's your favourite aspect of your job? Why did you decide to work in [X
field]?”
 “Many of my clients in [X role] tell me [Y detail about job]. Has that held true in
your experience?”
 “Which skill do you use the most in your work? Is that what you expected?”
 “What’s the stereotype of a [job title]? Does it hold up?”
 “Is there anything you didn’t anticipate about this role? Do you like or dislike
that?”
7. Sports
Some people could talk about sports all day. Others would rather talk about anything
but. There are a few rules of thumb for discussing sports.

First, if you’re in a group of two-plus people, make sure everyone is a sports fan. You
don’t want to exclude someone from participating.
Second, while an enthusiastic conversation is fun, a heated one won’t help your
networking goals whatsoever. If you or the other person starts getting riled up, change
the topic.

8. The weather
Weather is the ultimate small talk topic. It’s typically not the most scintillating
conversation-starter, but with a little creativity, you can spark some engaging
discussions.

Ask about the other person’s plans given the weather (for example, if it’s rainy are they
going to stay at home and watch movies? If it’s sunny, are they going to have a BBQ, do
something outdoorsy, go on a hike, eat dinner on their patio, etc.?)

You can also discuss their favorite type of climate and why they like it. This frequently
turns into a discussion about their personality, which can be fun and interesting.

Get them talking about the climate in their hometown. Is it different from where they
live now? The same? Which type do they enjoy more? If they could choose to live
anywhere based solely on the weather conditions, where would it be?

Seasonal rituals and traditions are handy conversation-starters as well. Do they do

anything special this time of year? Are there any places they visit, trips they take, people
they see, or other activities they do?

9. Travel
Not everyone you speak with will be a world traveller, but asking if they've travelled
anywhere interesting lately can open up a world of possibilities. From weekend trips an
hour away, to big summer vacations, or bucket list journeys -- this question can get even
the most reserved prospects gushing about cherished memories or exciting upcoming
adventures.

Make sure you have some follow-up questions about what they plan to do on their trip.
What foods they're most excited to try? In addition, what souvenirs they're planning to
bring home.

10. Their local favourites

Hub Spot Director of Sales Dan Tyre has a trick every rep can use. Before a call with a
prospect, he Googles their town. Often, the people he's speaking with live in towns Dan's
never visited, but with a two-minute search, he knows about their hottest new
restaurant, what the weather is like currently, and which landmarks the locals love.

He uses this knowledge to wow his prospects with questions like, "Have you made it to
[Insert hot new local play here] yet?" or "Are you staying cool over there? I hear it's going
to be in the 90's this week." This extra step puts the prospect at ease, shows them Dan
cares about what they care about, and builds immediate rapport.
 Here are a few that have proven to work extremely well.

Small Talk Questions

1. “How did you end up at [name of event]?

2. “What’s been the highlight of your [day, week, month] so far?”

3. “Are you a long way from home?”

4. “Would you recommend that [food or drink they’re holding]?”

5. “What’s the most memorable part of this [name of event] so far?”

6. “What’s the last movie you saw in theatres? What did you think?”

7. “What was the last concert you went to? How was it?”

8. “How did you choose to work in [field]? If you could go back in time, would
you make that same choice again?”

9. “Would you advise your children to go into [field]?”

10.“If you could turn one of your current skills into a bona fide superpower,
which would it be and why?”

11.“Which TV show would you choose to live in?”

12.“Which TV show most closely mirrors your life?”

13.“You remind me strongly of a celebrity, but I can’t remember who it is --

whom do people always compare you to?”

14.“When was the last time you did something for the first time? Were you glad
you tried it?”

15.“If you were responsible for catering [event], what would you order?”

16.“If you were hosting this event, [who would you invite to speak, which theme
would you have chosen, what would you have done differently]?”

How to Talk to Strangers

Talking to strangers is nerve-wracking for most people, even if you’re fairly charismatic
and confident.
 The number one technique to use? Questions. As long as the other person is talking, you
don’t need to say anything beyond “mhmm,” “tell me more,” and “interesting.”

That’s far easier than attempting to entertain them with your own stories.

Don’t just ask one question and then move on. Once the other person has finished their
answer, ask a follow-up question. This mitigates the risk you’ll seem like you’re
interrogating or interviewing them.

For instance, if you say, “Where are you from?” and they reply, “Minnesota,” you might
ask, “Why did you move?”, “What’s the greatest similarity between Minnesota and here?”,
“If you could have brought anyone along with you from Minnesota, who would it be?”,
“Where are your favorite places in Minnesota?”, “If I go to Minnesota, what can I
absolutely not miss?”, or another Minnesota-centric question.

Your physical environment is always a safe bet. Look around for something worth
commenting on -- the architecture, an interesting piece of artwork, the song that’s
playing, and so on.

The other person’s clothing can also work as a conversation-starter, although you want
to avoid seeming creepy. Give compliments like, “Those shoes are pretty unique. Where
did you get them?” and “I like your shirt’s design. Which brand is it?” rather than ones
like, “Your pants look good.”
Rubin also recommends “reacting to comments in the spirit they were given.” When the
other person makes a joke, laugh -- even if you didn’t think it was a knee-slapper. If they
offer a surprising detail or anecdote -- like “The lack of an Oxford comma could cost a
Maine company millions of dollars in an overtime lawsuit” -- react with surprise. They’ll
feel gratified by your response, which will make them want to keep talking to you.
How to end a conversation
It’s also handy to have a pre-planned exit. If the conversation is stalling -- or it’s simply
finished and you need a non-awkward way to walk away -- use this line to gracefully
wrap things up.

Here are eight potential exit lines:

1. “This has been great -- thanks for telling me about X. Do you have a card?”
2. “Can’t wait to hear how [initiative, project, personal decision] goes! Let’s catch
up at the next [work party, conference, meeting, get-together].”
3. “I’m going to go grab [some food, a drink]. Great to [meet you, catch up].”
4. “I see my [friend, coworker, client] over there and should probably go say hi.
Want to exchange contact info?”
5. “The next session is starting soon, so I’m going to go find my room. It was nice
meeting you!”
6. “Excuse me, I’m going to use the restroom. Enjoy the rest of the [event, party,
conference].”
7. “Well, glad we got the chance to connect over [topic]. I don’t want to dominate
your [morning, afternoon, night] -- I’m going to [check out the snacks, say hello
to someone, take a walk around the venue, etc.]”
8. “Is there anything I can [help you with, do for you]?”
How to Get Better at Small Talk
It doesn’t matter how bad you are at small talk: With practice and the right strategies,
you can improve. Small talk is a skill just like any other.

1. Look for opportunities to make small talk.

The more frequently you do it, the more comfortable you’ll become. You’ll also quickly
learn which topics generate the best conversations, how to gauge a person’s mood and
personality by their body language and tone of voice, when to pivot to new topics, and
the signs a conversation has wrapped up.

To reduce your nervousness, practice your small talk in a low-stakes environment. Go to

a casual networking event for a different industry, attend a meetup, or ask your friends
to bring you along to their work events.

You can also “train” by talking to strangers when you’re out and about -- just make sure
you don’t force a conversation with anyone who’s clearly not interested.

2. Pretend you’re speaking to a friend.

Would you be on edge if you were making small talk with someone you knew really
well? Probably not. If you need a quick trick to mitigate your anxiety, pretend the other
person is a good friend. As an added benefit, this mental shift will make you seem
warmer and friendlier.

3. Give yourself a break.

Don’t dwell on awkward moments or long silences. We’re all far more focused on and
critical of ourselves than anyone else in the room. You might be cringing for days after
you mess up someone’s name or crack a joke that falls flat, but chances are, every other
person will forget within two minutes.

Next time you’re worried about a specific faux pas, remind yourself it’s nowhere near as
big a deal as you think.

4. Set a goal.
Having an objective can make small talk feel more meaningful. For example, maybe you
commit to meeting four people at an event, or exchanging contact information with two
other professionals in your field.

Once you’ve gotten a concrete goal, you’ll feel purposeful and focused. This also allows
you to objectively measure your success.
 Avoiding Small Talk
It might seem silly to write an extended post about small talk -- and then delve into
tactics for avoiding it.

But let's be clear. This isn't a guide to steering clear of conversations at networking
events, office parties, conferences, or social gatherings. If you want to do that, I have a
simple suggestion: Stay home!

Of course, that's usually not a feasible strategy if you want to forge new connections
(and since forging new connections tends to go hand-in-hand with career growth, I
highly recommend doing it occasionally).

Avoiding small talk = avoiding boring, trite, meaningless, forgettable conversations that
don't add value to you or the other participants.

If you want to do that, here are a few suggestions. (By the way, avoiding small talk is one
of my continual goals in life.)

First, be curious. The person or people you're talking to are interesting. Chances are,
they know a whole lot about something you know something about -- if not many
things. Take advantage of that. Figure out what they care about and ask lots of
questions. Don't forget to listen and stay engaged so it's clear you're not just going
through the motions.

Second, pose unique questions and start non-obvious discussions. If you say something
like, "It's so cold this week," you're going to have a meh conversation (unless you're
talking to a farmer or meteorologist, maybe). Get creative and maybe a little weird.
When someone says, "Wow, it's so cold this week," reply, "Sure is. Did you grow up in a
warmer area?" Now you're talking about their childhood and the different places
they've lived. Way more interesting.

Third, avoid ultra-controversial or sensitive topics. These include:

1. Politics

2. Physical appearance

3. Religion

4. Age

Source: https://blog.hubspot.com/sales/small-talk-guide