Bar Chart - Divorce Rates in Finland and Sweden - 07 08 2024

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European
countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the

information by selecting and reporting the main
features, and make comparisons where relevant.
My essay
The bar graph compares the divorce rates of Finland
and Sweden between 2011 and 2015.
Overall, it is evident that the divorce rates in Sweden
from 2011 to 2014 were always higher than those in
Finland. From 2012 to 2015, there were opposite
trends between Finland and Sweden.
In 2011, the divorce rates in Finland were about below
40% while those in Sweden were approximately 45%.
In 2012, the percentage of people who divorced in
Finland decreased by about 6%. However, at the same
year, the proportion of people divorcing in Sweden
went up to about 50%. The gap of divorce rates
between two countries was more than 10%.
In 2013 – 2014 period, the divorce rates in Sweden
slightly decreased to about 45%, whereas those in
Finland reached 40%. In 2015, while the figure for
people who divorced in Finland remained unchanged,
that in Sweden had a significant decrease from about
44% to 38%.
GEMINI BOT
Overview
Your essay demonstrates a good
understanding of the data presented in the
bar chart. You accurately describe the
overall trends and provide specific details to
support your observations. However, there
are a few areas where you can improve your
writing to achieve a higher IELTS band score.
Positive Aspects
 Task Achievement: You have clearly
fulfilled the task requirements by
accurately summarizing the key features
of the graph and making relevant
comparisons.
 Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay
is well-organized and easy to follow. You
use linking words and phrases effectively
to connect your ideas.
 Lexical Resource: You demonstrate a
good range of vocabulary related to data
analysis and comparison.
Areas for Improvement
 Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
While your grammar is generally correct,
there are a few minor errors that could
be corrected. For example, in the first
sentence, you could change "below
40%" to "under 40%" for a more natural
expression.
 Task Achievement (Detail): While you
provide some specific details about the
data, you could include more precise
figures to enhance your description. For
instance, instead of saying "decreased
by about 6%", you could state
"decreased by approximately 5.5%."
 Task Achievement (Overview): You
could strengthen your introduction by
providing a more concise overview of the
overall trend. For example, you could
say: "Overall, the divorce rate in Sweden
was consistently higher than in Finland
throughout the period, although both
countries experienced fluctuations."
Overall Assessment
Based on the strengths and weaknesses
identified above, your essay would likely be
awarded a band score of 6 or 6.5 on the
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 scale. To
achieve a higher score, focus on improving
your grammatical accuracy and providing
more precise data details.
Additional Tips
 Practice writing essays on different types
of graphs to improve your overall writing
skills.
 Use a variety of sentence structures to
make your writing more engaging.
 Pay attention to the word count
requirements for the IELTS Academic
Writing Task 1
COPILOT BOT
Detailed Analysis of the Bar Chart
1. 2011:
o Finland: Just below 40%.
o Sweden: Slightly above 40%.
2. 2012:
o Finland: Decreased to around 34%.
o Sweden: Increased to about 48%.
3. 2013:
o Finland: Slight increase to around 39%.
o Sweden: Decreased to approximately 47%.
4. 2014:
o Finland: Remained stable at around 39%.
o Sweden: Further decreased to about 45%.
5. 2015:
o Finland: Stayed stable at around 39%.
o Sweden: Significant decrease to around 38%.
Detailed Feedback on Your Essay
1. Introduction:
o Your introduction is clear and sets the context
well. However, you could add a bit more detail
about the overall trends.
2. Body Paragraphs:
o Accuracy: Ensure that the percentages you
mention are accurate. For example, in 2011,
the rates for both countries are closer than
described.
o Trends: You correctly identified the opposite
trends between the two countries from 2012
to 2015. However, be precise about the
changes. For instance, in 2012, Finland’s rate
decreased to around 34%, not just “about 6%”.
o Comparisons: You made good comparisons,
but ensure they are supported by accurate
data. For example, the gap in 2012 was around
14%, not just “more than 10%”.
3. Conclusion:
o Summarize the main trends and comparisons
clearly. You could mention that while Sweden
had higher rates initially, it saw a significant
decrease by 2015, bringing it closer to
Finland’s rate.
Improved Essay Example
"The bar graph compares the divorce rates of Finland
and Sweden between 2011 and 2015.
Overall, it is evident that the divorce rates in Sweden
from 2011 to 2014 were consistently higher than those
in Finland. However, from 2012 to 2015, the trends in
both countries diverged.
In 2011, the divorce rates in Finland were just below
40%, while those in Sweden were slightly above 40%. In
2012, the percentage of people who divorced in
Finland decreased to around 34%. Conversely, the
proportion of people divorcing in Sweden increased to
about 48%, creating a gap of approximately 14%.
During the 2013-2014 period, the divorce rates in
Sweden slightly decreased to about 47% and 45%,
respectively, whereas those in Finland remained stable
at around 39%. In 2015, while the figure for people
who divorced in Finland remained unchanged, that in
Sweden saw a significant decrease from about 45% to
38%.
In summary, although Sweden had higher divorce rates
initially, by 2015, the rates in both countries had
converged, with Sweden experiencing a notable
decline."
Tips for Improvement
 Accuracy: Always double-check the data points.
 Clarity: Use clear and concise language.
 Variety: Use a range of vocabulary and sentence
structures.
 Linking Words: Use more linking words to enhance
the flow.
Keep practicing, and you’ll continue to improve! If you
have any more questions or need further assistance,
feel free to ask.
NEW WORDS
1. Conversely (adv): ngược lại
2. Consistent (adj): kiên định, trước sau như một, nhất quán
3. Diverge (v) phân ra
khác nhau (về ý kiến, quan điểm), bất đồng quan điểm

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The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European

countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the

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