Rejection

1
Introduction
Maybe you feel rejected by your loved one. Maybe by the electorate. Maybe by
someone who has since passed away…
Here are some common reasons:
Feeling rejected is a universal experience that can be triggered by a variety of
situations. Here are ten common reasons why people might feel rejected:
 Social Exclusion: Not being invited to events or gatherings where peers
or colleagues are included can lead to feelings of being unwanted or
ostracized.
 Relationship Breakup: The end of a romantic relationship, particularly if
it's unexpected or one-sided, often results in intense feelings of rejection.
 Job Rejection: Not getting a job after an interview or being passed over
for a promotion can cause one to feel professionally inadequate or
unwanted.
 Friendship Drift: When a once-close friend becomes distant or ends the
friendship, it can evoke a strong sense of personal rejection.
 Family Estrangement: Being estranged from family members, whether
due to conflict, differences in values, or other reasons, can lead to deep
feelings of not belonging or being rejected by those who are expected to
be supportive.
 Online Exclusion: Social media can amplify feelings of rejection, such as
when people are not included in online groups, unfriended, or when their
posts are not acknowledged by likes or comments.
 Academic Rejection: Being turned down by a chosen school or program
can make one feel rejected on an intellectual or personal level.
 Criticism or Negative Feedback: Whether at work, in a creative
endeavor, or in personal behavior, criticism can sometimes be internalized
as rejection of one's self rather than of a specific action or product.
 Unmet Expectations: When someone doesn't live up to the expectations
of others, they might be met with disapproval, which can feel like a
personal rejection.
 Perceived Inferiority: People can feel rejected if they believe they are
being looked down upon or treated as inferior due to their background,
abilities, appearance, or any other personal characteristic.

Rejection can be deeply painful because it impacts our fundamental need for
belonging and self-esteem. It's important to remember that everyone
experiences rejection and that it often says more about the situation or the other
person's state of mind than it does about one's own worth or value.

2
What can art therapyu offer as a means of dealing with this?
Exercise – 1
Self-Compassion Map
Objective: To cultivate self-compassion and acceptance in the face of feelings of
rejection, using creative expression to visualize and reinforce personal strengths
and positive attributes.
Materials:
 A large sheet of paper or canvas
 A variety of coloured pencils, markers, or paints
 Magazines or printed images (optional for collage)
 Scissors and glue (if using collage materials)
Instructions:
 Centering: Start by finding a quiet, comfortable space. Take a few deep
breaths to center yourself and focus on the present moment.
 Heart Outline: On your paper or canvas, draw a large heart that fills the
space. This heart represents you – it is your space of self-compassion and
acceptance.
 Inside the Heart – Strengths and Qualities: Inside the heart, begin to
write words, draw symbols, or collage images that represent your
strengths, positive qualities, and achievements. These can be
characteristics you like about yourself, things you are good at, or
moments you've felt proud of yourself.
 Around the Heart – Support System: Around the outside of the heart,
depict your support system. This could include friends, family, pets,
mentors, or community resources that offer you comfort and support. If
you're feeling a lack of support, you can include symbols of support you
desire or places you find peace, such as nature or a favorite quiet spot.
 Connective Lines: Draw lines or vines that connect the inside of the
heart to the support system outside. This represents the flow of love and
support into your inner self.
 Colour and Decorate: Use colour to fill in your heart and the area
around it. Choose colours that evoke a sense of warmth, comfort, and
safety for you. Decorate the heart and the surrounding space in a way that
makes you feel uplifted and soothed.
 Reflective Writing: On the back of the paper or in a journal, write a
compassionate letter to yourself. Acknowledge the feeling of rejection, and
offer words of comfort and encouragement as you would to a dear friend.
 Display: Place your Self-Compassion Map somewhere you can see it daily
as a reminder of your self-worth and the support that surrounds you, even
when it's not immediately apparent.

3
How This Exercise Helps:
Self-Affirmation: By focusing on positive personal attributes and past
successes, you reinforce your sense of self-worth and competence, which can be
undermined by rejection.
Visualization of Support: The act of visually mapping out your support system
can help you to remember that you are not alone, even when you feel isolated. It
can also clarify where you can seek help and comfort.

Creative Expression: Artistic expression can serve as a soothing and cathartic

outlet for emotions, helping to process and release them in a constructive way.
Mindfulness: The act of creating art requires mindfulness, which can help
distract from ruminative thoughts and bring you back to the present moment,
reducing anxiety and negative self-talk.
Self-Compassion: Writing a compassionate letter to yourself encourages a kind
and forgiving inner dialogue, which is crucial for healing from feelings of
rejection.
Positive Reinforcement: Displaying the artwork serves as a continual reminder
of your intrinsic value and the support available to you, helping to counteract
feelings of rejection whenever they arise.

4
Exercise -2
The Bridge of Transition
Objective: To help visualize the journey from feelings of rejection to a place of
acceptance and personal growth.
Materials:
 Drawing or watercolour paper
 Pens, markers, or watercolours
 Magazines or printed images (optional for collage)
 Scissors and glue (if using collage materials)
Instructions:
 Preparation: Find a quiet space where you can work undisturbed. Take
some deep breaths to center yourself, focusing on the sensation of air
entering and leaving your body.
 Bridge Sketch: On your paper, draw a bridge. This bridge represents
your personal journey. At the beginning of the bridge, on the left side, you
are in the present, feeling the sting of rejection. The right side of the
bridge is the future, where you have moved beyond these feelings.
 Scene of Rejection: On the left side of the bridge, depict the feelings of
rejection. You can draw symbols, scenes, or even abstract shapes and
colours that represent these emotions. If you're using collage, you can cut
out images that resonate with how rejection feels to you.
 Pathway Across: Detail the bridge's pathway with words, symbols, or
images that represent the steps or tools you can use to cope and move
forward. These could be self-care actions, affirmations, or supportive
relationships.
 Scene of Acceptance: On the right side of the bridge, illustrate what
acceptance and personal growth look like to you. This might include
activities you enjoy, goals you want to achieve, or simply a sense of peace
and self-compassion.
 The Waters Below: Below the bridge, draw or collage images that
represent the emotions you're moving through. The water can symbolize
the ebb and flow of feelings during this process.

 Reflection: Once your bridge is complete, take some time to reflect on it.
What does the bridge tell you about your journey? What insights can you
gain about moving from rejection to acceptance?
 Actionable Steps: Write down actionable steps you can take to start
moving across the bridge. These steps should be small and manageable,
allowing you to gradually work towards acceptance and growth.

5
How This Exercise Helps:
 Visualization of Progress: By creating a visual metaphor for your
journey, you can more easily conceptualize the process of moving through
difficult emotions.
 Acknowledgment of Feelings: The act of depicting the feelings of
rejection validates these emotions and can be the first step in processing
them.
 Empowerment: By identifying and illustrating coping mechanisms and
support on the bridge, this exercise empowers you to take an active role
in your emotional well-being.
 Focus on the Future: Seeing the desired state of acceptance and growth
visually represented can provide hope and reinforce that the current
feelings of rejection are not permanent.
 Therapeutic Narrative: Creating a narrative of transition from one side
of the bridge to the other can help you internalize your ability to overcome
challenges and move forward.
 Mindfulness and Presence: Engaging in the creative process
encourages mindfulness, which can alleviate the intensity of negative
emotions associated with rejection.
Remember that art therapy exercises are personal and subjective. There is no
right or wrong way to complete them. The goal is to explore your feelings and
use creativity as a tool for healing and self-discovery.

6
Exercise – 3
The Tree of Self-Acceptance
Objective: To foster self-acceptance by visually expressing and integrating
various aspects of oneself, including those that may feel rejected, and to
acknowledge personal growth and resilience.
Materials:
 A large sheet of paper or canvas
 Coloured pencils, markers, or paints
 Optional: Collage materials, such as magazines, newspapers, or printed
images
 Glue or tape (if using collage materials)
Instructions:
 Relaxation: Begin by finding a comfortable and quiet space. Engage in a
relaxation exercise, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle
relaxation, to prepare yourself for the activity.

 Tree Outline: Draw a large tree that takes up most of the paper or
canvas. This tree represents you – each part (roots, trunk, branches,
leaves) symbolizes different aspects of your life and experiences.
 Roots – Foundations: In the roots of the tree, write words or draw
symbols that represent your core values and the foundational experiences
that have shaped you. Include both positive and challenging experiences,
acknowledging how they've contributed to your strength and stability.
 Trunk – Personal Identity: In the trunk, illustrate the central aspects of
your identity. These can be roles you play in life, characteristics that
define you, or activities that give you a sense of self.
 Branches – Growth and Aspirations: On the branches, depict your
growth areas, hopes, and goals. Write or draw your aspirations and the
ways in which you wish to grow and extend yourself into the world.
 Leaves – Relationships and Achievements: On the leaves, note
important relationships, achievements, and positive moments that you
cherish. These can be reminders of love, friendship, success, and joy in
your life.
 Fallen Leaves – Loss and Rejection: On the ground, draw or place
fallen leaves to symbolize past rejections or losses. Acknowledge these as
part of your life's natural cycle, representing experiences that have come
to pass but have also fertilized the ground for new growth.
 Fruits – Gifts and Contributions: If you feel inclined, add fruits to your
tree. These can symbolize the unique gifts you bring to the world and the
positive contributions you’ve made to others' lives.
 Reflection: Once your tree is complete, reflect on all its parts. Notice how
the roots, trunk, branches, and leaves work together to create a whole,
just as all aspects of your life combine to form who you are.
 Journaling: Consider journaling about the process. What did you discover
about yourself? How do the rejected parts contribute to your overall self?
What can you learn from them?

7
How This Exercise Helps:
Integration: By integrating different aspects of your life into one tree, you
visually and symbolically bring together the various parts of yourself, including
those that feel rejected, fostering a sense of wholeness and self-acceptance.
Acknowledgment: This exercise allows you to acknowledge and accept every
part of your experience, including the difficult aspects, as an important part of
your growth.
Perspective: By seeing your life laid out as a tree, you may gain perspective on
how the various parts of your life interrelate and how past experiences have
contributed to your strength and resilience.
Self-Esteem: Highlighting your achievements, relationships, and aspirations can
boost your self-esteem and help mitigate feelings of rejection.
Catharsis: Creating fallen leaves can provide a cathartic way to let go of past
hurts and acknowledge that while they have fallen away, they've also enriched
the soil for future growth.
Creativity as Coping: Engaging in creative expression can be inherently
therapeutic, providing a nonverbal outlet for emotions and reducing stress.

Remember that the tree you create is deeply personal and there's no right or
wrong way to approach this exercise. It’s an opportunity for self-exploration and
expression. Remember also to post your artwork in the Q/A for this lecture!