Bark (ENG)

Bark!?
01
SEPTEMBER 3, 2018 BY AYYSHADOWTRANS
Translator: Baozi
Chapter 1 – Brothers, Attack!
Early this morning, Su Cheng opened his eyes and found that he was sleeping
in male god’s bed.
That’s right, that male god named Lin Xu.
Lin Xu – height of 1.85 metres, long legs, manager of a bank, fair-skinned,

talented, and good-natured. Lives directly opposite Su Cheng. Although they
were neighbours, Lin Xu was reserved and so they rarely interacted.
As a disappointing ‘coloured dog’[1], Su Cheng has secretly liked Lin Xu for a

long time. However, as an impoverished otaku who made his living on word
count, Su Cheng never seriously thought that anything would happen between
them. He was only quietly smitten with Lin Xu.
Yesterday, Su Cheng was rushing out some documents until three o’clock in the
morning and fell asleep on the computer desk. The result was that when he
opened his eyes today…
Lin Xu was still sleeping. The bright, early morning sunlight shone on his face
through the curtains. His black and long eyelashes contrasted against his fair
skin, leaving faint shadows, an appearance of delicate beauty. Su Cheng stared
dumbfounded at Lin Xu’s face, wondering if he was dreaming, so shocked he
was almost unable to move.
It can’t be that I sleepwalked into male god’s bed last night!? Su Cheng thought.
At this time, Lin Xu opened his eyes.
Su Cheng held his breath, almost letting out a shriek.
“Good morning.” Lin Xu languidly smiled, raising his hand and rubbing Su
Cheng’s head.
Su Cheng was finally unable to hold back his inner turmoil anymore and
released a screech: “Woof woof woof——!”
Shit, shit, male god touched me!
Shit…?
After 3 seconds of silence.
In disbelief, Su Cheng opened his mouth again: “…Woof woof woof?”
…What is happening?
“Be quiet, accompany me and laze for a while longer.” Lin Xu dragged Su
Cheng back into the blankets. “It’s finally the weekend.
Su Cheng panicked and lowered his head, only to be met with the sight of two
paws covered in curly, brown fur….
Su Cheng collapsed on the spot: “Woof woof woof woof! Woof woof woof?!”
Oh my god! How did I become a dog!?
Lin Xu held Su Cheng down. That handsome face, which had caused Su Cheng
to blush and his heart to skip countless times, was pressed close to Su Cheng’s
doggy face as Lin Xu laughingly asked: “What’s wrong with you?”
It was the first time in his life that he had had such close contact with his male
god. Su Cheng temporarily pushed the shock to the back of his mind. On the
dog’s face appeared a shy look that was incongruous with its features. A pair of
brightly gleaming, small black eyes looked aside in embarrassment.
From within its throat issued a series of spoiled rumbling sounds. The dog’s
face was actually also red, but because it was covered in fur, it was not
apparent.
Lin Xu stared at Su Cheng and pondered for a moment before speculating:

“Could it be you’re in heat?”
“Woof ….. woof.”
Calling it heat… is also not wrong.
Su Cheng bashfully lowered his doggy head. His gaze just so happened to fall
on Lin Xu’s lower body, which had previously been covered by the quilt.
Lin Xu was not wearing anything else other than a pair of underwear.
The black material covered a round, bulging object, creating an attractive

shape.
Su Cheng’s brain exploded with a boom.

Heavens ah, Mother Earth ah! I’ve seen male god’s *beep*!
However, right at this historical moment, Lin Xu suddenly stretched out his hand
and flicked Su Cheng’s doggy member, which had got excited at some
unknown point in time. He calmly said: “It seems like it’s time to get you
neutered.”
“Woof woof woof!”
I don’t want to be castrated ahh ahh ahh!
Su Cheng abruptly realised the situation he was in, rapidly snapping out of his
starry-eyed, infatuated mode. Greatly alarmed, he rolled to his feet.
The feeling of having four feet touching the ground was very strange.
Stranger still was the feeling of the wind blowing unobstructed against his balls,
and even between his legs….
At the moment, the most important thing was to let male god know that he’s
actually the neighbour that lives across the street!
Su Cheng’s dog face suddenly became very solemn.
He couldn’t speak right now, but as long as he had a paper and pen, he could
probably just about manage to write…
Just as Su Cheng was deep in thought, from nearby came a cacophony of

sound, a mix of running and dogs barking. Su Cheng raised his head, and found
a large pack of toy poodles with varying coat colours aggressively rushing over
to the bedroom from the direction of the living room.
Scarily enough, Su Cheng discovered that he could understand their barking…
At the head of the pack, the largest black toy poodle was howling himself
hoarse, saying: “Brothers, attack! Fuck him!”
[1]Coloured Dog = Someone who only cares about a person’s outward

appearance
Bark!? 02
Translator: Baozi
Chapter 2 – Lin Xu rubbed Su Cheng’s doggy head
Su Cheng was so frightened that he felt his bladder tighten, nearly peeing all
over Lin Xu’s body.
After all, he had heard about the toy poodle’s reputation for wanting to mount
everything in sight.
“Woof woof woof!”
Please, no!
Su Cheng yelped until he was blue in the face, burrowing into Lin Xu’s chest like
his life depended on it.
“Go, play with them.” Lin Xu completely did not get Su Cheng’s message. On
the contrary, he aided the evil-doers, putting Su Cheng down in the middle of
the pack of dogs….
Su Cheng had once counted. male god’s house was rearing six toy poodles. A
toy poodle maniac.
Excluding himself, there were five.
Su Cheng had only just touched the ground when those five other thirsty toy
poodles impatiently mounted his body…
Su Cheng completely lost his reason, loudly barking and howling: “Woof woof
woof!?”
Do you know that you’ve already sent your future wife into the tiger’s den!?
However, ten seconds later Su Cheng realised…. these five toy poodles, all of
them were eunuchs.
Even though they still retained the toy poodle’s natural instincts and liked to
mount objects and hump them, they were actually eunuchs….
Su Cheng let out a breath of air, half relieved and half horrified.
Relieved because in actual fact, they would not be able to rape him. Horrified
because he would soon become a eunuch as well!
No no no… turning into a dog must be a momentary thing, perhaps after a
night’s sleep he would change back.
Su Cheng calmly consoled himself, his head full of black lines, as he was
surrounded by the five other dogs.
“Why is he the only one that hasn’t been spayed?”
“He will soon be spayed too, he’s just younger than us.”
“Tch, couldn’t do him.”
“Fuck!”
“Bite him!”
The dog eunuchs whispered among themselves. Five pairs of black, bean-like
eyes glared at Su Cheng.
So, they’re jealous….
It’s just pure, naked jealousy.
Su Cheng thought in his heart.
At this time Lin Xu had finished dressing and come downstairs, holding a large
pack of dog food. A rustling sound emerged as he poured it into the dog food
bowl.
The five other toy poodles immediately stopped clamouring and stuck their
heads into the bowl to eat the food.
And yet Su Cheng just stood in his original spot with a stupefied look on his
face.
“You should also go and eat.” Lin Xu patted Su Cheng on the head.
“Woof….”
I’m definitely not going to eat dog food…..
Su Cheng not only did not go, he took two steps backwards.
“Go quickly.” Lin Xu said firmly.

Su Cheng shook his doggy head rapidly and ran off, looking everywhere for
something he could write with.
He first thought of using his mouth to grip the pen and write.
Su Cheng ran ahead, Lin Xu following behind him with a puzzled face——
today, this dog seemed to be behaving abnormally.
Passing by the table in the living room, Su Cheng was pleasantly surprised to
discover that there was, unexpectedly, a readily-available notebook and pen
placed on top of it. There was even a chair next to it.
Su Cheng clumsily jumped onto the chair, putting up his two front paws on the
table edge, and picked up the ballpoint pen with his mouth, intending to write on
the paper.
However….
He underestimated the difficulty of writing with the pen using his mouth.
Not only was it almost impossible to control the direction, there was also a
pattering sound as a big puddle of saliva dripped from his mouth.
The drool even caused the words that Lin Xu had written previously on the book
to become smudged….
It really was the worst.
Lin Xu lost his patience, picking up Su Cheng and placing him on the ground.
He snatched the pen away from Su Cheng and closed the notebook. He even
went to the extent of putting the pen on a high bookshelf, scolding Su Cheng
with an unhappy tone of voice: “Stop causing trouble!”
Not only was he turned into a dog without reason, he was even reprimanded by
his male god. Su Cheng’s mind was filled with grievance.
He was so aggrieved that his tears almost fell!
Su Cheng looked at Lin Xu for a moment with eyes brimming with tears, before
an idea suddenly flashed through his mind: even though writing with a pen
using his mouth was harder than he thought he would he, but using his paw
dipped in water on the floor would definitely be possible!
So Su Cheng again turned his head and ran.
To find water, obviously he had to go to the bathroom.

Thereupon, Lin Xu stared blankly as the toy poodle that had recently been
sleeping in his blankets every day, suddenly ran wildly into the toilet, stretched
out his paw towards the toilet water, and dipped it in…
Before Su Cheng had gotten the chance to use his wet paw to write on the floor,
Lin Xu had already picked him up and deposited him into the bathtub.
Hot water poured down with a roar.
“So dirty.” Lin Xu coldly washed Su Cheng’s paw and then took the opportunity
to give him a bath. He shampooed Su Cheng while scolding him sternly. “You’re
not allowed to put your paw into the toilet bowl, understand?”
Then Su Cheng was groped by male god inside and out, from top to bottom.
“Woo…woof…”
Feels good….
Su Cheng was stroked till his spirit and soul were turned upside down. His
doggy face showed a satisfied expression.
After the bath was done, Su Cheng was lifted up by Lin Xu and given a cursory
wipe down and then blown dry using the hairdryer.
Throughout the blow dry process, Su Cheng’s expression was very calm.
Completely unlike other dogs who would struggle when faced with the hairdryer.
“Why are you so obedient today?” Lin Xu rubbed Su Cheng’s doggy head once
and then suddenly, without any warning, dropped a kiss on his furry forehead.
“…..” Su Cheng went limp against male god’s chest.
Oh my godddddddd male god kissed me!!!
Bark!? 03
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 3 – He actually sunk so low as to vie for favour against dogs……]
….Now isn’t the time to be a love struck fool! Su Cheng was only momentarily
excited. After regaining his senses, his round, black bean eyes were filled with
deep satisfaction.
Because there was one thing Su Cheng wasn’t certain of, which was the current
condition of his original body right now.
The first possibility was that his and the toy poodle’s soul had been swapped.
That was really too scary, okay!
Su Cheng imagined his body taken over by the toy poodle. He imagined it in his
room, humping everything: – the heater, the bed, the wall, the refrigerator….
The second possibility was that he was having an out-of-body experience, if that
was so then his body was probably still lying on top of the computer table,
merely in a vegetative state.
…..Wait a moment, what “merely” ah!
Su Cheng couldn’t help but imagine again, the tragic scene of his body lying
unconscious on top of the computer table and slowly starving to death. How
male god, after half a month of always smelling the nasty odour emitted from his
opposite neighbour’s house, would get annoyed and make a police report, and
finally, how he would see Su Cheng’s dead body, wearing strawberry-patterned
shorts with flies hovering around him as the policeman uncle carried it out, while
he himself had become a dog eunuch….
That’s right, little Su Cheng, who had a large hole in his brain, had in a single
moment, imagined what would happen in half a month’s time and thus,
managed to scare himself silly as well!
The expressions on the dog’s face kept changing, amazingly varied
“Su Cheng.” Lin Xu patted Su Cheng’s doggy head, asking in a deeply

concerned manner, “Today, are you feeling unwell?”
Su Cheng: ???
Oh my god, I haven’t even had the time to do anything but Lin Xu actually
already discovered my true identity!?
Damn it, worthy of being my male god! His insight is at this level, practically the
Sherlock Holmes of the modern era, okay!
“From the moment you woke up, you’ve been acting strange. Earlier, you also
weren’t willing to eat the dog food….” Lin Xu stretched out his hand and rubbed
Su Cheng’s doggy stomach while thinking aloud, “Your stomach is
uncomfortable? Or did you catch a cold?”
Su Cheng: …
Wait a minute, it seems like male god is still talking to the dog.
It can’t be….
“Su Cheng, good boy, Master will feed you.” Lin Xu carried Su Cheng over to
the food bowl, kindly stroking Su Cheng’s doggy head and scooping up some
dog food towards Su Cheng’s mouth.
Su Cheng: “Woof!”
Heavens ah, (Mother) Earth ah, male god named his dog after me!!!
This is fucking embarrassing![1]
Su Cheng was so shocked that his mind went blank. As if sleepwalking, he

opened his mouth and ate the dog food.
Unexpectedly, it actually tasted quite good.
Maybe because he was currently using the toy poodle’s tongue to taste the
food, the experience was different from when he was a human.
Su Cheng’s feelings were complicated beyond description.
He remembered that he had never caused male god to get angry before. In the
few, ordinary, times that they came into contact, his expression was always very
polite and prudent. By right Lin Xu wouldn’t go so far as to detest him….
Giving a dog his name like that….
Su Cheng was silent for a moment, then suddenly barked as if he’d gone mad:
“Woof woof woof woof woof woof!!!”
Could it be that male god was also secretly in love with me ahhhhhh!
Even though he felt like he still couldn’t believe it, he was dizzy from the impact
of this possibility! The top priority right now was to immediately make known his
identity and then have a HE with male god!
“Exactly what is the matter…?” Lin Xu was startled when Su Cheng suddenly
barked. He thought for a moment, setting Su Cheng down on the floor and
walking into the bedroom. He sat at the table and turned on the computer, and
typing into the search engine: “What to do when your toy poodle is suddenly
moody and irritable.”
This was a good opportunity to write some words.
Su Cheng lowered his head. In front of him was a water bowl meant for small
dogs to drink from. Inside, around half the water still remained.
Su Cheng laughed gleefully inside his mind, dipping his right paw into the water.
Standing on his three other legs, he swiftly wrote two large characters “Su
Cheng” on the floor. He then ran into the bedroom, biting on Lin Xu’s trouser leg
and dragging him towards the words.
“Stop making trouble, stop making trouble….tch.” Lin Xu had no choice but to
get up and follow Su Cheng. He wondered to himself, “Why is the floor all wet?”
Su Cheng looked very proud of himself: “Woof!”
You should look properly!
However….
Right at this critical moment….
The other five toy poodles suddenly rushed at lightning speed across the floor
where he’d written the words!
Su Cheng: !!!
Lin Xu was nearly driven mad. He brought the automatic cleaning robot from the
bedroom, put it on the floor, and pressed the start button.
The other five toy poodles stood triumphantly to one side, looking at Su Cheng.
“Earlier what was he doing on the floor?”
“Who knows, must have been sucking up to Master again.”
“Tch, ever since he came, Master never hugs any of us to sleep anymore.”
“Fucker!”
“Fuck him!”
Su Cheng, who was dumbstruck: …

What the fuck, this palace intrigue, it’s a misconception, isn’t it?
“Su Cheng, be good, stop being mischievous.” Lin Xu crouched down, very
gently rubbing Su Cheng’s doggy head.
Upon seeing this, the five other toy poodles also crowded around, asking to be
petted on the head.
Lin Xu laughed and stroked their heads one by one.
Those five toy poodles were still full of schemes, pushing Su Cheng aside.
Su Cheng’s heart was suddenly full of desolation, as if he had grown older by a

number of years in an instant: ….
He never thought that in his lifetime, he would actually sink so low as to have to
vie for favour against dogs….
Bark!? 04
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 4 – Why not take the opportunity to get some benefits!]
After he finished placating the other toy poodles, Lin Xu lifted Su Cheng up. He
hugged him to his chest and sat back down in front of the computer,
concentrating on browsing the web page.
“As I suspected, it’s heat.” Lin Xu thought out loud, closing down several pages
of pet forums. He flicked Su Cheng’s doggy member and said, “I’m sorry, baby,
it’s still better to do birth control.”
Su Cheng couldn’t help but feel his balls ache[1].
But this is castration, castration! How can your expression be so relaxed and
cheerful!
Please show a little remorse!
…However, right in front of him was the computer. Using the computer to type
some words was a good idea.
Su Cheng had learnt his lesson. He did not dare to rashly snatch the computer.
Right now, if he rushed forward to type, as soon as he touched the keyboard he
would definitely be blocked by Lin Xu. He had to wait until Lin Xu was not
around and then secretly turn on the computer by himself. This plan was still
quite reliable. As for right now….
Su Cheng acted cute, snuggling into Lin Xu’s chest, rubbing his paw twice on
Lin Xu’s thigh. With a red face and his heart skipping a beat, he even pressed
on Lin Xu’s “thing”!
Teeheeheeheehee so embarrassed! Su Cheng lowered his head, using both

paws to cover his furry dog face.
After all, he’d already turned into a dog, then why not take the opportunity to get
some benefits!
“Be good, don’t touch there.” Lin Xu lifted him upwards.
The unrepentant Su Cheng, who was quickly entering idiot-mode, firmly stuck
out his paw and touched male god’s crotch area.
Ehehehehe this size! Su Cheng was shy yet excited, crying out ‘wu wu’ as he
burrowed into Lin Xu’s chest with all his strength.
Lin Xu shook his head, one hand pressing down on the Su Cheng who was
continuously stirring up trouble while he opened a women’s literature website
with the other hand.
That was the website which Su Cheng signed his contract with. There, he could
be considered a minor god.
Furthermore, he was recently working on an urban danmei novel…
The shou is a gentle, meng little writer, whereas the gong is a bank manager.
Surnamed Lin, with a height of 185 cm, someone good looking and aloof. His
hobby is raising toy poodles.
That’s right, this novel was Su Cheng’s sexual fantasy! The gong’s image was
completely modeled after Lin Xu!
Su Cheng was stunned and could only look on as Lin Xu opened his Favourites,
clicking into his novel, and with great familiarity bought V[2].
That was the update that he had desperately worked on till 3am in the
morning….
Lin Xu finished reading the update very quickly, and revealed a mysterious
smile, he then threw a very expensive ‘Deepwater Torpedo’[3] and left the
message: “The great author writes excellently! Please work hard in updating!
Kiss kiss![4]
Su Cheng almost fainted, because he recognised this ID of male god’s, which

was an extremely loyal little angel. From the time he started the first few
chapters, this fan has been expressing support and leaving comments, throwing
‘Overlord Tickets[5]’ at Su Cheng until he wished he could kneel down and call
him ‘father’… and at the beginning Su Cheng towards this little angel reader
was also very grateful and always made sure to reply to his comments.
However, afterwards as the popularity of his novel became higher and higher,
there were more and more comments, and the demand for updates had also
risen. Su Cheng truly did not have the time to manage everything, therefore
slowly the replies became infrequent.
This little angel reader, was actually Lin Xu.
Lin Xu opened his own comments and checked them one by one, but there was
not a single reply from the author.
Lin Xu clicked his tongue in disappointment.
Su Cheng had yet to recover from the massive shock when Lin Xu had already
logged off quickly and was logging on to another account named “I am an anti-
fan, bite me”
Su Cheng: ……
I am an anti-fan, bite me: It sucks, it sucks, it sucks! Can’t continue reading

anymore!
Su Cheng: !!!
I am an anti-fan, bite me: Author, pay attention to me, your writing is too terrible!
Su Cheng: ???
After Lin Xu had finished ranting, he calmly opened his own comments. As
expected, he had managed to obtain a reply from the author——
“If you enjoy it then read it. If you don’t want to read it then get lost.”
Lin Xu let out a ‘pfft’ sound of laughter, looking very much like a super-M.
Su Cheng: ……
Your mom, the stupid cunt who was jumping about the comments section
everyday was actually male god’s small account!?
Heavens, Mother Earth! Male god is my anti-fan!
T/N:
[1] Not literally. This is a slang that Chinese netizens use whenever they feel 囧
[2] So you know how jjwxc has those VIP only chapters? If you want to read
them you have to pay for it – this is 买 V or ‘buying V’
[3] A form of supporting authors, you can read more

here: https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E9%9C%B8%E7%8E%8B%E7%A5%A8
[4] 么么哒 are kissing sounds, so could be ‘muah muah’ also
[5] Same as 3. Basically ‘deepwater torpedo’ is the highest level of ‘overlord

ticket’. Mine>Grenade>Rocket launcher>Shallow water bomb>Deepwater
torpedo
Bark!? 05
OCTOBER 3, 2018 BY AYYSHADOWTRANS
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 5 – A pink, strawberry-patterned one]
Lin Xu cheerfully used the small account to hop around for a while, then logged
into his main account and threw some Overlord tickets to try to heal Su Cheng’s
wounded heart.
Furthermore, he even ran to his own schizophrenic small account and ranted at
himself: You’re crazy, if you don’t like reading it, quickly get lost!
Su Cheng: ……
Afterwards, this split-personality, mad demon happily hummed a song as he

went to brew coffee.
Furthermore, the song he was humming was unexpectedly 《The King Ordered
Me To Patrol The Mountain》[1]……
Su Cheng: ……
Hearing this song, Su Cheng suddenly recalled a scene from a month ago——
That day, early in the morning he was downstairs in the middle of throwing out
the rubbish. Suddenly, he saw Lin Xu, dressed in exercise clothes and wearing
headphones, fiddling with his handphone while walking towards him. He
seemed to be choosing the song that he wanted to listen to while running
afterwards.
However, the cable of his headphones was actually not connected to his
handphone, the sound of the music coming from his speakers was very loud.
Listening to it, it appeared to be some kind of symphonic music.
The early morning sun shone on his face, further setting off his handsomeness
and fair skin.
Su Cheng swallowed his saliva, revealing a magnificent smile. He seized the

chance to say hello to his male god neighbour: “Good morning, going jogging?”
Lin Xu coldly replied: “Good morning.”
Su Cheng searched for something to say: “What are you listening to?”
Lin Xu indifferently answered: “Shostakovich’s 《Symphony No. 10》,

conducted by Karajan.”
Su Cheng suddenly felt a feeling of helplessness spring up unbidden: “Oh, so

it’s like that.”
Never heard of it before……
“I prefer his conducting style more.” Lin Xu exposed a graceful smile, “There is
a certain metal-like brightness to it.”
Su Cheng, internally, was dumbfounded: “…..Oh really.”
Even though he completely could not understand what was said, but male god’s
appearance while showing off was so handsome, so dazzling!
Within Su Cheng’s heart, he was already secretly smitten, immediately replying:

“Your headphones are not plugged in……”
Lin Xu was surprised, letting out an “Oh?”. He then swiftly connected his
headphones, nodding his head at Su Cheng and saying: “Thanks.”
And then he ran off.
“You’re welcome.” Su Cheng, who got to say a few words to male god as soon
as he woke up, was so happy he felt he could fly. He gazed infatuatedly at male
god’s (confident and relaxed), distant figure.
However……
But right now……
The sound of singing coming from the kitchen had already turned into 《Pomp
and Circumstance》[2]
So male god’s taste in songs is actually about the same as mine, hey!
Su Cheng suddenly realised that this world was really difficult to understand.
However, this was not the time to ponder such questions. Su Cheng jumped up
onto the swivel chair that Lin Xu was sitting on, clumsily using both paws to
operate the computer.
Even though the process was a little difficult, but it was much better than using
his mouth to grip the pen and write words.
Su Cheng finally managed to open Word smoothly, and furthermore before Lin
Xu entered the bedroom, typed several words——”I am your neighbour Su
Cheng”
As soon as he finished typing these words, Lin Xu entered the room holding a
cup of coffee.
“Messing about with my computer again,” Lin Xu put down his coffee cup on the
computer table, grabbing Su Cheng with a single hand, “Hmm? Little baby Su
Cheng.”
Su Cheng’s name was called using this verbose and dull tone, causing him to
nearly faint on the spot.
“Woof woof!” Su Cheng raised his paw, pointing towards the computer screen.
Lin Xu glanced at the screen absent-mindedly.

Su Cheng: ……
Lin Xu: ……
The inside of the room was enveloped in a tomb-like silence……
After a moment, Lin Xu blinked his eyes as if coming out of a dream. His tone
was flat and monotonous as he asked: “You’re my neighbour?”
Su Cheng nodded his doggy head wildly.
Lin Xu was unperturbed: “Can you understand what I’m saying?”
Su Cheng continued to nod his doggy head madly.
Lin Xu frowned: “What happened? How did you become my dog? This is
possession?”
Su Cheng went on nodding his head.
The corners of Lin Xu’s mouth twitched for a second, he asked: “When did this
start?”
Su Cheng leapt on to the swivel chair and used his paws to laboriously type the
words: “Early this morning. I also don’t know why it happened.”
Lin Xu indifferently made an ‘oh’ sound.
Su Cheng expressed his amazement towards male god’s level of calmness……
Even if he immediately accepted the fact that a human had changed into a dog,
but the stupid acts earlier were all witnessed by him. How could he still remain
so collected!?
“Wait a moment for me.” Lin Xu, his face expressionless like a steel plate,
turned around and walked out of the room, closing the door.
Half a minute later Su Cheng heard a blood-curdling screech from

downstairs……
“AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhI’mADumbFuckAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”*
Even though the scream had distorted the tone, it was unmistakably the sound
of male god’s voice……
Su Cheng completely understood this kind of feeling.

Actually, earlier he himself had also loudly screamed in such a way, just that it
all came out as ‘woof woof woof’.
After another half a minute, Lin Xu once again appeared in front of Su Cheng.
Other than the fact that his breathing was a little quicker, he looked completely
normal, his manner calm and composed.
“Since your consciousness is within this dog’s body, then where is your original
body?” asked Lin Xu.
Even though Su Cheng still had a big pile of questions to ask, but this was the
most critical issue. Accordingly, Su Cheng continued using the computer to type
out the words: “In my house, perhaps in a coma. Please take me there for a
look, there’s a spare key in the fire hydrant compartment at the front door.”
“Understood.” Lin Xu raised his hand and was about to carry Su Cheng, but
after stretching his hand out halfway, retracted it.
The two of them coincidentally thought about that earlier incident where Lin Xu
flicked Su Cheng’s thing.
Su Cheng: ……
Lin Xu: ……
“Follow me.” Lin Xu stiffly turned around and left. Su Cheng moved his four little
legs, diligently following behind Lin Xu.
Lin Xu arrived at the glass door which housed the fire hydrant, opening the
glass door and searching inside. Sure enough, he found Su Cheng’s spare key,
Just as Lin Xu was inserting the key into the keyhole, suddenly Su Cheng
started barking like mad, as if he’d been struck by lightning.
“Woof woof woof woof woof woof——！”
Ahhhhhhhh I just remembered that my body right now is only wearing a pair of
underpants!
Furthermore, it’s a pink, strawberry-patterned one!

T/N:
[1] 大王叫我来巡山 – the ending theme to the 2015 movie Surprise
[2] 威風堂々- this is a Japanese vocaloid song, the lyrics are explicit and about
five girls and their sexual encounters
Bark!? 06
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 6 – Already turned into a dog and still have to persevere in

updating……]
“What happened to you?” Lin Xu looked uncomprehendingly at Su Cheng.
Su Cheng was so agitated he was turning round and round in circles. Letting
male god see his strawberry underpants, there simply could not be anything
more shameful!
Lin Xu was silent for a second, then the corners of his lips turned up slightly and
he questioned: “It can’t be that it’s not convenient for me to see your body right
now?”
Su Cheng nodded, grieved and indignant: “Wu, woof!”
“Ah,” Lin Xu coldly[1] laughed, immediately showing an honest face and

placating Su Cheng, “It doesn’t matter, saving a person is more important. I will
treat it as if I never saw anything.”
Su Cheng: ……
If you did not laugh at the beginning, I would have believed you!
However, at this very moment, there was nothing in the world that could stop
Lin Xu from opening the door……
Moreover, that being said, not opening it was also not an option.
Thus, Lin Xu rapidly opened the door and walked inside.
The only thing that was worth being happy about was the fact that Su Cheng
was a person who liked cleanness, so the house was spotless.
“Where is your body?” Lin Xu asked.

Su Cheng hung his head down dejectedly, keeping silent.
Lin Xu had no choice but to search on his own. The room was not large, so Lin
Xu very quickly discovered Su Cheng’s motionless body, which was lying on top
of the computer table.
Just as expected, he was naked[2].
Su Cheng’s body was particularly pale because he stayed inside the house
writing most of the time. There were still some traces of youthfulness in his
slender build. His neck and spine curved out into a graceful arc, the thin and
frail chest moved up and down slightly. A pair of well-proportioned and fair legs
were casually spread apart, and below the slender ankles were a pair of feet
encased in teddy bear slippers. And sitting on top of the chair……were the
buttocks wearing that accursed pair of pink strawberry-print underwear….
It looked well-rounded, plump, and seemed extremely tasty……
“Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof!” Su Cheng howled and barked loudly,
winding around Lin Xu’s legs, and crazily running circles, attempting to draw
away some of Lin Xu’s attention!
Too embarrassing! Too fucking embarrassing! This is the most embarrassing

moment in his life!
However, Lin Xu was unable to take his eyes off Su Cheng’s body and
continued to stare attentively and unendingly.
His gaze was hungry.
Su Cheng fiercely protested: “Wu——Woof woof woof!”
Don’t forget what you came here to do!
“Don’t get offended.” Lin Xu softly sighed and said seriously, “Both of us are
men, even if I look, you won’t lose a piece of flesh.”[3]
Su Cheng was panting, his breaths uneven: ……
But I feel like my butt has already been stared at by you until it lost a piece of
flesh!
Lin Xu walked to the side of Su Cheng’s body, examining it from up close. His
voice was calm and unhurried as he commented: “Seems to be sleeping.”
As long as he’s not dead! Su Cheng let out a breath.

At this time, Lin Xu softly chuckled.
Su Cheng: ……
What are you laughing at!
A person inside his own home, can’t he freely let loose his true self!?
“No matter what, first let’s move your body to my house.” Lin Xu sincerely said,
“Before you turn back, I can take care of you.”
Su Cheng softly barked once, wagging his tail to show his agreement.
Seems like they can only handle it this way for now.
If he’s in closer proximity to his body, perhaps he can change back!
Therefore, Lin Xu turned over Su Cheng, who was still unconsciously sprawled
out on top of the computer table.
Half of his face was covered with the impression from the keyboard…. it
matched the pink-coloured strawberry-print underpants.
As Su Cheng looked at his own body, he felt that there was nothing worth living
for. He really wanted to cry and commit suicide.
Lin Xu held back his laughter, picking up Su Cheng’s body. While passing
through the bedroom, he conveniently grabbed a thin blanket from on top of the
bed and covered Su Cheng’s almost naked body with it. He took large strides,
walking out the front door.
Lin Xu carried Su Cheng back to his own house and put him on the bed in his
bedroom.
“Would your body feel cold?” Lin Xu murmured to himself, removing the thin
blanket that was covering Su Cheng’s body.
Su Cheng:……
You should know, when men are lying down facing upwards, somewhere there
will be a little subtle bulge……
Lin Xu stiffly stood next to the bed, his eyes were fixed on that slight bulge, his
legs seemed to be rooted to the floor!
“Woof woof woof woof woof!” Su Cheng barked wildly, wishing he could go up
and give him a bite.
“Eh, there’s a mosquito.” Lin Xu, with an innocent face, reached out his hand
and pressed down on that subtle bulge.
Su Cheng: ……
As if there was really a mosquito there! Look me in the eye and tell me that
there was a mosquito there earlier!
Lin Xu calmly spread out his hand and looked at it. Putting on an act, he said:
“Oh, it’s dead.”
Su Cheng protested frantically: “Woof woof woof!”
Actually, there’s no mosquito there that can die, what died was your lofty and
brilliant image as male god, okay! Quickly cover me back up with the blanket,
you immoral bastard!
Lin Xu was unable to keep a straight face and let out another laugh. Also
fearing that Su Cheng’s body would really catch a cold, soon afterward he
tugged on the blanket and covered it up.
He thought deeply for a moment and then queried: “How about I bring your
body to the hospital for a check-up?”
Su Cheng shook his head: “Woof woof woof!”
Even if they went to the hospital, it would be pointless,
‘Look Doctor, this person’s soul has entered the body of this dog, can you
perform an operation to transplant it back?’
……He’d be sent to a psychiatrist!
Furthermore, perhaps tonight after sleeping, by some unfathomable mystery, he

might return to his body, Su Cheng thought optimistically.
“But……” Lin Xu scrunched up his brows.
Without any other choice, Su Cheng jumped onto the swivel chair and used the
computer to slowly type out words, letting his opinion be known in a simple
manner.
Lin Xu hesitatingly replied: “Indeed… it does not exclude the possibility of
suddenly changing back by yourself.”
Su Cheng strongly nodded his head.
Li Xu thought for a moment, coming to a conclusion: “How about this, let’s

observe for one day in my house. If after one day you still haven’t returned to
your body then we’ll go to the hospital for a check-up. After all, your body right
now is unable to drink water or eat food, we can’t let it continue to sleep like
this,
Su Cheng let out a sigh, typing the word “Okay”. Immediately following that, he
typed “Thank you.”
Lin Xu raised his eyebrow: “You’re welcome, I only did what I should have
done.”
Su Cheng typed: “Could I trouble you to fetch the computer from my house?”
I still want to collect this month’s (full attendance) reward of 6000 for updating
daily!
Already turned into a dog and still have to persevere in updating……
Being an online writer is really not easy! It’s not easy, alright!
T/N:
[1] 闷骚 – outwardly cold, but inside passionate
[2] The text does actually say naked even though he isn’t *shrugs*
[3] You won’t lose anything
Bark!? 07
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 7 – As if those little shous in danmei novels *beep*——!!]

Lin Xu helped Su Cheng move the computer over.
Lin Xu’s desk was larger, there was more than sufficient space for two
computers. Lin Xu also moved a chair over for Su Cheng to sit on.
Su Cheng turned on his computer, opened his outline and draft and started
immersing himself in his writing.
For the sake of full attendance!
A dog, seated in front of the computer, writing a novel.
The scene is also one which causes people to become intoxicated.
Su Cheng’s heart was in disorder. Not only did he turn into a dog, in front of
male god he lost so much face. Furthermore, the person whom he was writing
an erotic scene about in the novel was currently sitting next to him. Finally, the
matter that made him most feel like dying was that the other person actually
chases after web novels.
Luckily this novel had a detailed outline, a few days earlier he even wrote
several chapters of rough drafts. Otherwise, with his current mental state, Su
Cheng would definitely be unable to come up with anything.
Su Cheng dizzily used his paws to type out words. From time to time he
stealthily turned his head slightly at an angle, glancing at Lin Xu and the screen
in front of him.
Lin Xu sat upright in front of his own computer, his face serious as he searched
“What to do when a person suddenly turns into a dog”,,,,,,
And when Su Cheng’s doggy head turned back, it became Lin Xu’s turn to
secretly steal a look at Su Cheng.
Both had a whole bellyful of questions to ask the other person, however this
situation really wasn’t very suitable for discussing emotional issues. Therefore,
by unspoken agreement, they chose to keep silent.
Nevertheless, this atmosphere of tacit understanding was quickly broken.
Because Su Cheng could not keep still on his chair and was fidgeting.
……He needed to go to the toilet, to do a Big One.
Lin Xu, seeing his discomfort, asked: “What’s wrong?”

Su Cheng quickly shook his head and jumped down from the chair.
Using his own wisdom as a human, finding the dog lavatory that was set up
next to the room was a simple thing, there was no need to broadcast it……
If he secretly did his business in the dog lavatory, Lin Xu should not know it was
him who did it. After all, there were six dogs in the apartment.
Su Cheng gladly ran out, quickly finding the dog lavatory in one of the corners
of the living room.
However, owing to the fact that Lin Xu had not had a free moment from this
morning until now, the dog lavatory had yet to be cleaned today, the condition
was not good, completely filthy.
Su Cheng hesitated for a moment on whether he truly wanted to walk on to the

dog toilet.
After all, he didn’t even have any shoes right now……
At this moment, the five other poodles arrived.
“Does he want to go to the toilet?”
“Of course he does, it cannot be to eat poop!”
“Hmph, looking at his face he must think it’s too dirty. Also, at night he would be
sharing one quilt with owner, hehe.”
“Fucker!”
“A slut will always be unreasonable!”
Su Cheng suddenly felt like he was a xiu nu[1] who had received the emperor’s
favour the moment he stepped into the palace: ……
To prove that he was definitely not an unreasonable slut, Su Cheng carefully

made his way across, using the tip-toes of his paws, arching his waist, starting
to use strength (to push ‘it’ out) ……
However, at this moment, Lin Xu unhurriedly walked over, looking at Su Cheng

with a shocked expression.
Su Cheng: ……
Nonono! By no means am I going to take a dump in front of male god!
Hence, Su Cheng’s restraint collapsed.
The thing that was about to come out, shrunk back inside. His stomach
immediately began to protest even more frantically.
“……” Su Cheng pretended that nothing had happened. With a stiff dog’s face,
he attempted to walk away.
However, Lin Xu poked at his weak point, asking: “Did you want to go to the
toilet?”
Su Cheng shook his head rapidly: “Woof? Woof.”
What are you talking about? I can’t understand you ah.
“If you’re not going, I’m cleaning it up.” On Lin Xu’s hand was a disposable
glove. He bent over to dispose of the dog lavatory, “Too dirty, this morning I
forgot to do it.”
Su Cheng appeared as if he hardly cared about it and made a cold snorting

sound, to show that he was really not going to do it.
However, his sphincter was actually about to burst!
Don’t panic, use humankind’s wisdom……
Su Cheng calmly comforted himself. Taking advantage of the time when Lin
Xu’s head was lowered, cleaning up the dog lavatory, he used his four short
legs to run to the toilet. He used his claw to push aside the filter to the floor
drain, resourcefully aimed his butt at the pitch-dark hole and arched his waist,
starting to use strength…….
However, at this time, Lin Xu suddenly walked over, carrying the dog lavatory in
both hands, silently watching Su Cheng.
Su Cheng: ……
“I’m going to rinse this for a moment.” Lin Xu pointed at the dog lavatory in his
hands, explaining himself.
Su Cheng again felt his restraint collapsing.

His guts gave a frantic surge of *beep*——mercilessly lashing at his sphincter.
Every cell in his body was expressing the need to *beep*——
“You……” Lin Xu just opened his mouth when Su Cheng, swift as an arrow
leaving the bow, ran out of the toilet!
No matter what, he can’t allow male god to see him doing *beep*—— okay! You
must be joking, how can the little shou take a *beep*——!! As if those
little shous in danmei novels *beep*——!! Right?
Exiting the toilet, Su Cheng ran wildly around the entire house, frantically
looking for a place where he can take a *beep*—— in peace.
An intense desire that was unbearable, as if a raging inferno was blazing in his
consciousness, making him can’t help but want to recklessly let go of himself, to
open up his body, as much as he wanted to……
To take a *beep*——
This is really too terrible……
Just as Su Cheng had given up all hope and started to arch his back, deciding
to do it on the floor, Lin Xu appeared carrying the dog toilet which had changed
beyond recognition.
Lin Xu put down the dog toilet in the corner, and without even a look at Su
Cheng, quickly turned around and walked away. He not only went into the room,
but also closed the door.
Male god, he……
Was worried that I would lose face……
All of a sudden, Su Cheng felt overwhelmingly warm. Extremely moved, he

walked over to the good-as-new dog toilet. Under the jealous gazes of the five
toy poodles, with his heart full of love for male god, he happily resolved his
problem.
T/N:
[1] Women selected for the emperor’s imperial harem, from the daughters of
Manchu bannerman
Bark!? 08
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 8 – Deeply moving]
A relaxed Su Cheng walked back towards the bedroom door, intending to

continue updating.
Male god is really a kind and gentlemanly person……Su Cheng thought. Even
though there was still a slight feeling of shame, but his girlish heart was still
uncontrollable, going doki doki.
Right as he was thinking this, from the bedroom issued the faint sounds of
someone laughing wildly.
Lin Xu: “Hahahahahahahaha!”
Su Cheng: ……
Fuck! The reason this asshole had turned and left quickly was so that he could
hide in the bedroom and laugh!
“Woof woof woof!” Su Cheng barked angrily, scratching at the door with his
paws. The sounds of laughter in the bedroom abruptly stopped.
The door opened. Lin Xu stood behind the door, his face expressionless,
nodding his head at Su Cheng. He then sat back down in front of the computer.
While skimming over the webpage, he announced with a solemn tone: “With
regards to your situation, I haven’t found any useful reference on the Internet.
…… Do you have any clues?”
Su Cheng: ……
Earlier weren’t you laughing very happily, you bastard!
Stop pretending, I’ve already seen your real face!
Lin Xu turned around, looked at him and asked him in all seriousness: “Do
you?”
Su Cheng bared a mouthful of teeth, shaking his head: “Woof!”
My ass!
“Recently did you do anything out of the ordinary? Or meet anyone strange?”
Lin Xu pondered, one hand propping up his chin.
Su Cheng continued shaking his head.
Lin Xu again said: “Perhaps… something to do with dogs? Recently did you
come in contact with dogs?”
As before, Su Cheng shook his head.
He did not keep any dogs, especially these few days he was rushing out his
manuscript, and did not go out much. He only went to the nearby public square
yesterday to find some inspiration after finishing his dinner and sat next to the
fountain for a moment, tossing the spare change in his trouser pocket into it. But
he definitely did not come across any dogs.
“That is also completely lacking in any clues.” Lin Xu worriedly tugged at his
hair.
“Wu……” Su Cheng was also a little frustrated. He threw his head back, jumped
onto the chair and continued typing.
Writing novels was Su Cheng’s way of getting rid of unhappiness. Ever since he
was in middle school, he’d loved writing. He enjoyed creating heart-warming
stories, every time he saw his own works he would feel very delighted. All the
negativity would disappear.
Lin Xu crossed his arms, sitting beside him.
Suddenly, he edged closer. Su Cheng saw from the corner of his eyes that he
was leaning over and quickly lifted his paw to close the laptop.
Not letting you see!
“Su Cheng.” However, Lin Xu was only raising his hand to stroke Su Cheng’s
head. His tone of voice was very tender and comforting, “Don’t worry, you
definitely will be able to change back.”
Su Cheng was unable to resist wagging his tail, giving out a soft ‘woof’.
Lin Xu sighed: “Moreover, in the worst-case scenario, if you are truly, truly
unable to change back……”
Su Cheng tensed up, opening his little black eyes and looking at him.
Lin Xu picked Su Cheng up and hugged him to his chest, rubbing his chin
against the soft hairs on the top of Su Cheng’s head: “If that is the case then, I
will take care of you for the rest of your life.”
Su Cheng’s nose was pressed against Lin Xu’s chest, breathing in his clean
scent, reminiscent of the grass after rain.
……I really don’t want you to take care of me for the rest of my life, okay.
“But that’s impossible.” Lin Xu put Su Cheng back onto the chair. He smiled
slightly, consoling Su Cheng, “Because you’ll definitely transform back.”
Su Cheng silently nodded his head. The rims of his eyes felt hot, he felt a little
like crying.
“Which is to say,” Lin Xu suddenly switched the topic of conversation, “Did you
wipe your butt earlier?”
Su Cheng was flabbergasted: ???
What the bloody hell are you talking about!
Isn’t this nonsense! Why don’t you explain to me how a dog can wipe its butt!
Can you just leave a way out for my love[1]?
Su Cheng pretended not to understand, keeping his mouth shut. He stiffly

opened his notebook, intending to continue.
The silence of a fan[2].
Lin Xu laughed softly, turning back to his computer.
Su Cheng: ……
Male god is a through and through black-bellied person. Evil.
While typing, Su Cheng was pondering a question.
——Does male god know that the author he likes is me?
Actually, to be liked by male god should originally be an exceptionally happy

circumstance, but the problem is that the novel that was currently being
published was entirely the result of his sexual fantasies about Lin Xu.
This is really too bloody awkward.
The more Su Cheng thought about it, the more embarrassed he felt. He wished
he could just ram his head into the computer screen and kill himself.
Actually, considering it carefully, Lin Xu might not necessarily know that I’m the
author ah…..Su Cheng thought.
When he published his novels, he didn’t use his real name. Even though in the
novel, the content was quite obviously sexually fantasizing about Lin Xu, but
based on logic, the possibility that the author was someone else who’s secretly
in love with Lin Xu was also quite big.
Moreover, Su Cheng was relatively low-key, he had almost never posted any
pictures (of himself) on Weibo[3].
Almost.
But there was still that one time……
Because Su Cheng had never tried to hide his gender, so there were some
demented black powder[4] fans frequently kicking up a fuss over the question of
his gender. They concocted various theories, such as “XX author is actually a
little meizi[5] purposely pretending to be a man writing danmei, using the hype
to expand their fanbase on social networks”, and other such rumours.
There was one time where Su Cheng was pestered so much he couldn’t take it.
He took a selfie and posted it on Weibo as proof of his gender.
That was the only time he showed his face. Furthermore, he’d deleted it in 24
hours.
Thinking up till here, suddenly Su Cheng got a fright!
It could not be that so coincidentally this picture was seen by Lin Xu, right……
Hahaha how could there be such a coincidence, it’s not like this is a novel.
Su Cheng was so deep in thought, he carelessly slanted his head and saw Lin
Xu.
Lin Xu was no longer looking at the computer.
He was leaning against the back of the chair, his hands crossed over his chest.
His head was drooping, he appeared to be thinking about matters.
His side profile when seriously reflecting was elegant and calm.
The webpage on his computer had already been closed, the desktop could now
be seen.
The desktop……
Earlier when Su Cheng used male god’s computer to open Word, the web page
was open and Word was in the taskbar at the bottom, easily opened with a
single click……
That’s right, today is Su Cheng’s first time seeing male god’s desktop.
And the desktop’s wallpaper……
was unexpectedly, precisely that thing which survived only 24 hours, Su

Cheng’s selfie!
Su Cheng: ……
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh male god is using my selfie as his desktop wallpaper

ahhhhhhhhh!
Su Cheng was so shocked that his entire doggy body was trembling. On the
spot, he let out a distinct, unhurried, deeply moving……fart.
Lin Xu turned his head with a whoosh, his expression so complicated that it
could not be explained.
Su Cheng: ……
FML! this toy poodle body have bad digestion or what!!!
T/N:
[1] Which means could you stop wrecking my image of you, male god because
you’re killing my love
[2] 迷之沉默 Not sure. Probably referring to the fact that LX is SC’s fan
[3] If you’ve been reading Chinese novels you probably already know what
Weibo is. It’s the equivalent of FB or Twitter in China, both of which are blocked
there.
[4] Anti-fans
[5] Little sister, used to refer to young girls on the net
Bark!? 09
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 9 – How to quickly remove the smell of fart in the air]
The two faced each other for a moment.
Lin Xu did not say a single word. Lifting his hand, he closed the laptop.
And then Su Cheng opened his mouth wide, taking deep breaths while jumping
about, attempting to quickly disperse rotten smell in the air.
Both also felt embarrassed.
However, the level of Su Cheng’s embarrassment was probably a hundred

times that of Lin Xu’s.
Su Cheng wildly fanned the fart-filled air, his heart full of mixed feelings, both
joy and sorrow.
Joy because it looked like male god really also secretly liked him in return.
Sorrow because even though his dreams came true against the odds and male
god felt the same way — he had turned into a dog!
Furthermore, it was a dog that couldn’t go three seconds without pooping,

peeing or farting……
There’s no way for him to immediately reach a HE with male god and then
rapidly get intimate.[1]
“Oh, right.” Lin Xu suddenly opened his mouth, breaking the silence, seemingly
trying to alleviate the awkward atmosphere. “Are you hungry? You haven’t
eaten anything from this morning.”
Su Cheng, with great difficulty, looked at him. He shook his head slowly.
Originally, he was very hungry, but a moment ago, he’d just sucked in a bellyful
of fart.
So right now he doesn’t feel like eating anything.
Lin Xu, seeing him shake his head, immediately said: “Not dog food, I’ll make
something else for you to eat.”
Su Cheng: ……
Even if it’s something else, I don’t feel like eating……
However, Lin Xu was already walking quickly out of the bedroom as he said
those words.
It appears that he was not urgently going to make Su Cheng something to eat,
but instead he was feeling suffocated.
Su Cheng laid upside-down on the chair, paralysed by despair. His heart hurt so
much he was incapable of words.
……The male god who reciprocated my secret crush was actually scared away
by my fart.
After being heartbroken for a few seconds, Su Cheng jumped down onto the
ground and ran to the kitchen.
Lin Xu opened the freezer and squatted down, pulling out the bottom
compartment.
Su Cheng moved closer to take a look, the section was fully packed with
marinated chicken drumsticks wrapped up in cling film……
Lin Xu took out one piece, simply washing it with water, removing the cling film
and putting it on a plate. He then put it into the microwave, pressing down on
the defrost button. With a practiced hand, he then pulled out the baking tray
from the oven, covering it with a layer of tinfoil and greasing it with a layer of oil
while waiting for the oven to heat up.
Su Cheng watched male god with astonishment.
……What the hell is this, a chicken leg fanatic?
Li Xu folded his arms in front of his chest, standing in front of the oven, checking
on the state of the chicken leg with the air of an important chef.
Su Cheng became a little foolish.
Because he remembered that Lin Xu seemed like a person who didn’t know
how to cook.
Based on Su Cheng’s observations, when Lin Xu was at home on leave, from

morning to night, all his three meals were delivered. The rubbish bin at his front
door was also always filled with takeaway containers from various kinds of fast
food restaurants.
Which was why……
The other day Su Cheng made his best dish, sweet and sour spareribs
and yuxiang eggplant, and a large amount of rice. Using three containers to
separate the food, he apprehensively knocked on Lin Xu’s door.
Lin Xu’s face appeared behind the door, seeing that it was Su Cheng, he was a
little startled.
Su Cheng’s face was very red as he stammered: “I made, made two types of
dishes……made too much, I can’t finish it by myself……do you want to……try
it?
His voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible at the end.
“Thank you, it smells really good,” Lin Xu took the two proffered containers.
Smiling, he said: “How about we eat together?”
“O……okay.” Su Cheng was so happy, he felt like the ground beneath him was
exploding. Entering Lin Xu’s house door, he felt as if he was in a dream, being
able to eat the food that he made together with Lin Xu.
On that day, Su Cheng discovered that Lin Xu’s house didn’t contain even a
single pot. It was obvious that this young master did not cook.
Therefore, from that day onwards, whenever Su Cheng had free time, he would
make some home cooked dishes that he was good at and go and knock on Lin
Xu’s door……
It’s strange.
Toy poodle Su Cheng tilted his head, watching Lin Xu.
Didn’t male god not know how to cook? How is it that his motions when making
roast chicken seem so smooth?
Lin Xu lowered his head, aiming a glance at Su Cheng. Immediately after, he
took out his phone from his pocket and pressed rapidly on the screen. Moving
closer, he turned the screen towards Su Cheng.
Su Cheng stared at it, that was his Weibo post from last week.
The time was in the wee hours of the morning. Su Cheng, who had stayed up
all night writing, was both tired and hungry. He went onto Weibo and posted —
— “Whenever it’s the middle of the night, I’d crave for roast chicken, the entire
skin golden and crispy, with sauce permeating the meat. Biting down on it, the
meat is fresh, tender and juicy, smooth and delicious, the fragrance so
overwhelming that it feels like your tongue is about to melt……ahhhhhh, I wish
someone would send me a roasted chicken leg! Then I’d be able to continue
writing another 10,000 words!”
The picture attached below, was that of a plate overflowing with roasted chicken
legs.
“Do you understand now?” Lin Xu shook his phone, his eyes were smiling, full
of mischief.
Su Cheng: ……
I understand.
Ultimately useless[2].
T/N:
[1] 上肉 – I’m not that sure but since ‘meat’ in context of danmei usually refers
to the smutty bits…..
[2] 然并卵
Bark!? 10
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 10 – I’ve turned back!]
The chicken leg was done roasting.

Lin Xu put on oven mitts, taking the chicken leg which was overflowing with a
delicious aroma, out of the oven.
“Originally, I wanted to make this for you to eat, that time when you were
shouting about being hungry in the middle of the night……” Lin Xu’s eyes
lowered. He used a small knife to slice the meat off the chicken leg, piece by
piece.
Su Cheng felt so touched that he didn’t know what to do. His little black, bean-
like eyes filled with tears.
“Come, let me feed you.” Li Xu scooped up Su Cheng with one hand, using the
other hand to carry the plate. He sat down on the sofa, using a pair of
chopsticks to pick up a small piece of meat and bringing it to Su Cheng’s mouth.
Being fed by male god, simply must not be too happy.
Su Cheng was bursting with joy, his small, short tail wagging uncontrollably. At
the same time, he very calmly tightened up his sphincter.
Because this toy poodle’s sphincter really couldn’t be trusted!
Su Cheng would definitely not permit a repeat performance of pooping, peeing

or farting on male god’s golden thigh.
Lin Xu laughed softly, pinching Su Cheng’s tail and teasingly said: “You really
think of yourself as a little dog”
Su Cheng’s tail immediately started moving more energetically.
Because he suddenly remembered some famous words of love.
——if humans had tails
——Saying it is a little embarrassing but,
As long as I’m together with you, it definitely won’t be able to stop wagging.[1]
This situation was exactly like this.
After eating the whole chicken leg, Su Cheng happily let out a small burp of
satisfaction.
Lin Xu went to the kitchen to clean up the plate and the oven, Su Cheng
following closely at his feet.
This was because those five toy poodles were directing deranged, jealous
gazes full of malicious intent at Su Cheng. Besides, they also mocked and
ridiculed him.
It felt like they could jump on him and beat him up at any moment……
“You are quite sticky.” Lin Xu set the cleaned plate onto the drying rack. Wiping
dry his hands, he moved closer, rubbing the soft hair on Su Cheng’s doggy
head.
The other five toy poodles immediately became more furious! They jumped
about the room, barking loudly!
Su Cheng: ……
Please share your rain and dew equally, Your Majesty!
“Stop making a fuss.” Lin Xu scolded. He fetched the six leashes that were
hanging on the door handle, saying, “It’s also about time to walk the
dogs……do you want to go out for a walk?”
Su Cheng frantically shook his head: “Woof!”
As soon as This Empress[2] steps out, perhaps these five toy poodles would
join forces to push me onto the road to be run over by a car!
Moreover, I still have to rush out the draft……
Until now he only managed to get out a little over a thousand words, he should
really just give up.
“If that’s the case, then be a good boy and watch the house.” Lin Xu carried Su
Cheng to the chair, setting him in front of the computer. Moving close to Su
Cheng’s doggy ear, he said, “Work hard, I’m still waiting to read it.”
“Woof woof woof!” Su Cheng’s doggy head smashed onto the keyboard. He felt
so ashamed that it was almost like he was going to emit smoke!
You shut up, don’t say a word!
Lin Xu chuckled, turning around and fastening the leashes to the five toy
poodles.
The five toy poodles suddenly became proud and self-satisfied[3].

Master is taking us out to play, that unreasonable slut has been locked up in the
house. Really serves him right, hehe!
Su Cheng weakly rolled his eyes: “……woof, woof.”
……Yes, yes, yes, serves me right, serves me right. This servant respectfully
sends off the Imperial Concubines.
By the time Su Cheng had written six thousand words worth of updates using
his toy poodle body with full effort, it was already 9pm at night.
Su Cheng tearfully explained his current state of affairs in the “This author has
something to say” section ——
“Just to let everyone know some bad news QAQ
Due to some mysterious circumstances, when this author woke up this morning,
he’d suddenly turned into a toy poodle QAQ
Using a dog’s claws to type out words is really not convenient. If I’m unable to
turn back I’d have to go to the hospital and undergo some checks. With regards
to the updates, I’ll try my best to keep on schedule, however the spirit is willing
but the flesh is weak. Hope that everyone can be understanding QAQ”
After the new chapter is published, the comment section immediately was full of
“Hahahahaha” “The author turned into a toy poodle and yet is persevering with
updates” “If that’s the case, throw you a mine[4] for you to buy dog food is good
enough” ……
Su Cheng tiredly curled up on top of the chair, letting out a long drawn out sigh:
“Woo woof……”
My heart is really tired!
After a while, Lin Xu came in holding his handphone, looking at the screen while
walking.
“I’ve read the update.” the corner of Lin Xu’s lips lifted, giving out an ambiguous
smile. “It was written very well.”
“Woof woof woof –!” Su Cheng barked wildly, rushing towards the window. He
hugged the wall, standing up on two legs. He felt so ashamed he wished he
could jump out the window.
Because today, the protagonist in the novel was kabedon-ed against the wall
and forcefully kissed by the male god.
Furthermore, the protagonist kept saying he didn’t want it, but actually in his
heart he was so happy, flowers were blooming.
……It’s not like Su Cheng purposely chose today to have such a plot, rather the
outline was written that way. The previous chapter already had such
foreshadowing, it was a situation of going with the flow[5]. If they hadn’t kissed
today, he would not be able to explain it to the readers.
“What are you shy about?” Lin Xu slowly walked over, crouching behind Su
Cheng, one hand pressing against the wall behind Su Cheng.
Su Cheng timidly opened his black, bean-like eyes, gazing at male god.
The first time in his entire life he was kabedon-ed, actually happened while he
was in a dog’s body……
Lin Xu stared at Su Cheng’s panic-stricken doggy face for a moment before

letting out a ‘pfft’ of amusement, saying: “After working hard the entire day, you
should go to sleep.”
Su Cheng: ……
Scared me to death.
He had thought his precious first kiss would also be stolen while he was in dog
form……
“You and your body can sleep together on my bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa.” Lin Xu
said optimistically, “Maybe when you open your eyes tomorrow morning, you
would have already switched back.”
Su Cheng nodded his head, allowing Lin Xu to carry him to his bed.
Actually, the probability of waking up to find that he had switched back was
quite large!
Even though there was no logic behind it……
But anyway, turning into a dog was also illogical!
Lin Xu’s bed was very tidy and clean. Snuggling into it, he could smell faint
traces of detergent.
And so Su Cheng’s original body also slept here, the quilt covering it from neck
to foot, completely hiding it from view, except for the fair and delicate face.
Su Cheng’s chin was pointed, his two beautiful, petal-like lips were lightly
pursed. His whole person was peacefully sleeping, emitting a kind of innocent
seduction.
Lin Xu put the toy poodle Su Cheng into the quilt, next to his original body. After
that, he suddenly stretched out his hand and stroked Su Cheng’s human body’s
face, earnestly asking: “Do you want me to wash your face?”
Su Cheng wordlessly shook his head.
Let’s not worry about these insignificant matters okay? I’ve already become a
dog.
“How about a bath? That’s also not needed?” Lin Xu changed the topic of
conversation, revealing his true objective.
Su Cheng shook his head hard: “Woof! Woof!”
No need! Thank you!
Lin Xu who was not giving up, said: “Even if not bathing, the underwear should
at least be changed. Otherwise, it’s not hygienic.”
Su Cheng drew a breath of cold air, alarmed little black eyes staring at Lin Xu:
……
What exactly do you want to do to my body!
“Pfft……” Lin Xu chuckled, “I’m just teasing you.”
Su Cheng let out a sigh.
Lin Xu lifted up the quilt slightly. Pointing inside, he said: “Because I’ve actually
already helped you to change it.”
Su Cheng could not believe it, lowering his head to look: ……
Even though he was unwilling to believe it but the strawberry underwear on his
body had really disappeared, replaced by a pair of pure white underwear.
“Woof woof woof woof woof woof!” Su Cheng was so embarrassed, he ran
madly in circles on top of the bed. In his mind, chaotic thoughts surged, about to
burst out.
Shitshitshitshit. During the time when he was unaware of the situation,
everything had been seen by male god aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
He didn’t even know if it (his body) felt good to the touch, whether his skin was
sufficiently moisturised and smooth!
If he had known that this would happen, even if he was dog-tired, he would
have woken up before dawn today to perform thorough maintenance on his butt
and then do ten sets of rear leg raises!
“Don’t worry.” Lin Xu saw that Su Cheng seemed about to go crazy. He

immediately lifted up both hands innocently in a show of surrender, “This pair of
underwear is new, I haven’t worn it before.”
Su Cheng was silent for a moment, and then he continued crazily barking while
running in circles: “Woof woof woof woof woof woof!”
Obviously whether you’ve worn them or not is not the issue here, okay!!!
Su Cheng collapsed, burrowing into the quilt, not daring to look at Lin Xu.
Lin Xu tugged the quilt away, rubbing Su Cheng’s doggy head and saying:
“Rest well, I’ll sleep on the living room sofa. If you need anything, you can call
me anytime. Good night.”
Su Cheng’s grief and indignation were unparalleled: “Woof!”
Good night my ass!
I will be completely unable to sleep okay!
Or so he thought. Perhaps because he had been using a dog’s body to type

words on the computer the entire day, Su Cheng’s body was so tired he could
die. As soon as his head touched the pillow, he fell asleep.
His own human body was lying next to him, it was warm.
When I wake up, I’ll definitely be able to switch back. Before he completely lost
consciousness, Su Cheng consoled himself thus.
The next time he woke up, the first thing Su Cheng saw was Lin Xu’s face.
It was approximately the middle of the night. Beyond the curtains, the sky was
pitch-black. The lights in the living room were turned on. The warm yellow, dim
lighting entered the bedroom, causing Lin Xu’s facial features to look handsome
and gentle.
“You……” For some reason, Lin Xu who was standing next to Su Cheng’s bed,
slowly widened his eyes. In a tone of pleasant surprise, he said: “You changed
back? Are you Su Cheng?”
Su Cheng immediately got up. Lowering his head, he looked downwards. Sure
enough, it was that familiar body that had followed him for more than twenty
years.
“I’ve turned back!” Su Cheng didn’t dare believe it. He clenched and then
released his fist. He was so happy he could almost cry.
T/N:
[1] From the 三行情书 https://book.douban.com/subject/6404040/ Using three

sentences, 60 characters to express your love.
如果人类有尾巴的话
—说起来有点不好意思，
只要和你在一起，一定会止不住摇起来的。
[2] The term bengong is used here, which is how the Empress referred to
herself in ancient times. Pfft.
[3] 趾高气昂 (toes high and aura raised)
[4] In case you’ve forgotten, this is the lowest tier of Overlord Tickets which is
the system jjwxc uses to support authors
[5] 水到渠成 – where water flows, a canal is formed, i.e. when conditions are
right, success will follow naturally
Bark?! 11
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 11 – Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!]

Su Cheng who was caught up in his own happiness for a moment, suddenly
remembered the toy poodle whose body he had occupied previously.
And this toy poodle named Su Cheng, was quietly leaning on his body. Its
doggy head was resting on the pillow, maintaining the same posture that Su
Cheng had slept in. It was sleeping quietly, like a human would.
Su Cheng patted the toy poodle: “Hey…… wake up for a moment.”
The toy poodle was motionless, only giving out a soft snore. Its small chest
moved up and down rhythmically, without any signs of waking up, similar to the
condition of Su Cheng’s body before.
A little bit of anxiety flitted across Su Cheng’s heart: ……
Why do I feel like this isn’t over yet?
“Wake up.” Lin Xu picked up the toy poodle, shaking it. He called out: “Su…..
uhh, this dog, wake up!”
Su Cheng quietly stared at him: ……
Earlier you were about to shout Su Cheng, weren’t you!
Su Cheng perplexedly put the unresponsive toy poodle back on to the bed.
Glancing sideways at Su Cheng, he asked: “What?”
Su Cheng’s expression was extremely uneasy, he hesitated before forcing

himself to ask: “This dog of yours, what is its name?”
Lin Xu laughed for a moment. He gazed fixedly at Su Cheng, his voice soft as if
he was talking in his sleep: “Don’t you already know?”
Under the dim lighting, the silhouette of Lin Xu’s countenance appeared fuzzy,
tinted with profoundness, and his eyes reflected the shining moonlight outside
the window.
How gentle.
Within that gentleness was a little hint of ridicule.
Being watched attentively by this kind of gaze, Su Cheng suddenly realised that
he was not wearing any clothes. With a whoosh, he pulled up the quilt and
covered the upper half of his body. Suppressing a sigh, he said: “It
was……called Su Cheng, right?”
Lin Xu’s smile didn’t reach his eyes[1]: “Yes.”
Su Cheng rubbed his nose, he was so nervous he was sweating. Even though
he already knew the answer, he still asked: “Why did you name the dog after
me?”
Lin Xu raised an eyebrow: “Let me ask you in return, your novel that is currently
being serialised, why did you model your character after me?”
Su Cheng was so agitated that within his mind there was a rumbling sound. He
retaliated: “Then why did you follow my serialization and throw mines at me on
one hand, only to turn around and scold me on the other? So schizophrenic.”
Lin Xu’s beautiful eyes curved, he slyly pointed at the lower half of his body and
laughingly replied: “That afternoon when you were in the dog’s body, why were
you endlessly using your paw to press on this part?”
Su Cheng awkwardly looked at him, biting his lips. His cheeks suddenly
became hot: “Then today when you carried my body back, why did you pretend
there was a mosquito and touch me here?”
Lin Xu was startled for a moment. Without warning, he let out a laugh.
Su Cheng’s cheeks were flushed, glowering at him: ……
I love you! I love you ah!
Can’t you be the first one to say it? My skin is really thin! Why the hell are you
laughing!
“I think……” After Lin Xu had enough of laughing, he suddenly reached out a

hand towards Su Cheng who was wrapped up in the quilt[2] and pressed him
down on the bed.
His two arms surrounded Su Cheng, imprisoning him in the middle, slowly
sticking closer and closer. “Our reasons for doing so are likely the same.”
Su Cheng nervously swallowed.
Lin Xu’s face moved nearer and nearer. Su Cheng could feel the hair on Lin
Xu’s forehead that was hanging down, scratch against his skin. The breaths
issuing from between his lips were close at hand.
“I……” Lin Xu opened his mouth again.

Su Cheng was stupefied. With a roll, he jumped up. Lin Xu and his body were
stuck in an ambiguous position together: “……woof? Woof woof woof woof woof
woof!”
What the hell?
Why am I back as a dog aaaaahhhhh!
Just a second more and he would have been able to publicly announce that he
had succeeded in obtaining a HE with male god!
This simply cannot be good……
Lin Xu, who was pressing down on Su Cheng was also alarmed. The lips that
were originally just about to come in contact with Su Cheng’s were withdrawn:
“Why have you……”
Su Cheng who had again turned into a toy poodle was both worried and
annoyed. He collapsed, his entire body lacking strength, nearly farting on the
spot!
Luckily this time he managed to hold it in.
Or else, this time he’d really be crying while eating himself to death with
chocolate.
“Woof woof woof–!” Su Cheng was full of grievances, almost to the point of
crying.
Picking up a male god, is my life easy?
“Don’t worry, don’t worry.” Lin Xu picked up Su Cheng, hugging him close to his
chest, causing his small belly to be pressed against his own body. His warm
palm patted Su Cheng’s back repeatedly, consoling him: “Didn’t you already
turn back earlier? Then this proves that there is a way to change back.”
Su Cheng whined, using his moist doggy nose to rub against Lin Xu’s stomach.
Acting spoilt, he cried out ‘wu wu’.
The feeling of openly acting spoilt within male god’s bosom was really too cool!
“……Su Cheng.” Lin Xu stroked Su Cheng’s doggy head. With a smile on his
face, he said: “Do you know what I was doing here before you turned back?”
That’s right! Why did male god suddenly appear next to my bed in the middle of
the night!
Because he was too excited when he’d suddenly changed back, Su Cheng had
momentarily forgotten about this point. However, thinking about it, it was indeed
very strange.
“Woof?” Su Cheng was puzzled, blinking his black bean-like eyes.
So actually, what were you doing?
Lin Xu lifted his index finger, lightly tapping his own lips. In his twinkling eyes,
there was a smiling expression:
“I secretly kissed you. I’m sorry…… but your sleeping face was just too cute.”
Su Cheng’s heart suddenly jumped. His blood rushed to his head, almost
causing him to stagger.
When male god adopts his Gary Stu persona[3], it really can give one a heart
attack.
“Right after the kiss, you woke up.” Lin Xu’s eyes were downcast. He laughed at
himself, “Gave me quite a shock.”
Su Cheng felt his heart jolt and his chest also hurt: “Woof woof woof!”
At this touching moment, even if he had a thousand things to say, it could only
be expressed in a bark……
“Perhaps that is the reason. Let me try again.” Lin Xu gently put Su Cheng on
the pillow. Then he bent over and kissed Su Cheng’s human body on the lips,
murmuring in a soft voice: “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.”
Su Cheng’s consciousness was jumbled up for a second. When he came back

to himself, in the span of one breath, he was surrounded by Lin Xu’s clean
scent, like that of green grass.
“I really switched back.” Su Cheng felt like he was in a dream, raising his hand
and touching Lin Xu’s face, “I……”
Before he could say anything, the words were all pushed back by the kiss that
came shortly after.
T/N:
[1] For those who read Malicious Empress, it’s XJX’s famous ‘like a smile yet
not a smile’
[2] 毛巾被 is actually a blanket made up of towel material. I’m just calling it ‘quilt’
here because I don’t know how to describe it.
[3] 苏起来 – The term 苏 is internet slang for when a pretty guy causes flowers
to bloom in your heart. It comes from the term Mary Sue.
Bark?! 12
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 12 – The neighbour who lives across from me is particularly

handsome]
Today, from the moment he opened his eyes up till now.
Everything seemed to progress wildly at the speed of light.
Su Cheng felt unable to think about it any longer. But kissing male god really felt
good!
It was as if in an instance, there were flowers blooming around them,

surrounding the single bed. A sweet, warm and soft feeling flowed, filling the
room.
“It’s, it’s fine already.” Su Cheng, face red, turned his head causing Lin Xu’s lips
to land on his cheek.
The atmosphere was so romantic it was unbearable.
However, the suspicious thing was, that toy poodle was again back to sleeping
soundly……
Su Cheng had this nagging feeling that as long as this unlucky toy poodle had
not woken up, then this matter was not over!
Within the darkness, there seemed to be some sort of power that had taken
away the toy poodle’s soul, leaving behind an empty shell, making it easy for Su
Cheng to enter and turn into a dog at any moment.
Su Cheng’s heart was originally full of sweetness. However, when he thought
about this, his face suddenly darkened.
Heavens, (Mother) Earth, which deity was so bored![1]
Su Cheng was in the middle of cursing up a storm mentally when Lin Xu, as if
punishing him, bit his lips softly and asked: “What are you thinking about?”
Su Cheng’s heart jolted. He almost did not dare to raise his eyes to meet Lin
Xu’s, and said: “That……Don’t you think it’s too odd? Why is it that whenever
we kiss then I return to my body?”
“Indeed,” Lin Xu reached out his hand, touching the tip of Su Cheng’s small and
delicate nose, “not paying any attention when kissing, it’s a very strange thing.”
Su Cheng: ……
Now is not the time to be making jokes!
“I’ll be straightforward.” Lin Xu pushed Su Cheng’s head towards his chest,

rubbing his chin against Su Cheng’s hair. His voice was soft as he said, “I love
you.”
“……Me too.” Su Cheng’s breathing was rapid, for an instant he simply felt that
it didn’t matter whether he lived out the remainder of his life as a human or a
dog.
Lin Xu raised his body, concentrating his gaze on Su Cheng’s pair of eyes.
Without rhyme or reason, he suddenly said: “I’ve read all of your novels, I’ve
liked every single one……you didn’t take a look at my bookcase today, I’ve
collected all your works, furthermore they’re all the signed copies.”
“En……” Su Cheng was a little embarrassed.
Because at this moment, male god’s appearance was slightly similar to a little
male fanatic!
“I’ve always quietly followed you online.” Lin Xu’s fingers slid across Su Cheng’s
cheek, “you said on Weibo that ‘the neighbour who lives across from me is
particularly handsome, my ideal type’……”
Su Cheng’s face flushed red: ……
Darn it……
Revealing his slight crush on Weibo but unexpectedly, coincidentally was seen
by the subject!?
“At that time, I was even a little jealous of the neighbour living opposite you,” Lin
Xu thought it was funny, appearing like he wanted to laugh, “Until the day you
suddenly posted your picture, then only did I realise that you lived across from
me, but I didn’t dare to go look for you. You’ve always been very lowkey on the
net, I was afraid that if I suddenly appeared you would be frightened……that
day I was so excited, but I didn’t dare to say it. I simply went downstairs and ran
ten laps around the neighbourhood.”
Su Cheng didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry: “……I saw you running laps
downstairs.”
That day, the hardships of being an author had caused Su ‘Little’ Cheng[2] to
lean against the balcony railing in depression. He saw Lin Xu running wildly in
circles, like a mad dog. From time to time, he even laughed crazily while looking
up into the sky. In his heart, he bitterly made guesses as to what had made his
usually cold and elegant male god so happy.
Is he in love?
He can’t be!
It can’t be, it’s impossible!
Su Cheng who was immersed in his memories, let down his guard and was
again kissed quickly by Lin Xu.
Su Cheng’s eyes opened wide: “You……”
“I was worried that you’d gone into its body again.” Lin Xu’s face was innocent
as he pointed at the toy poodle, “I was taking precautions.”
Su Cheng: ……
T/N:
[1] As to play these kinds of tricks on him
[2] Just a cute way of referring to Su Cheng, by inserting ‘small’ in between the
two syllables of his name
Bark!? 13
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 13 – Do you know what I wished for that day?]
Su Cheng couldn’t endure anymore. Uncaring of what others would think, he

laughed out loud. Using his fingers, he rubbed at the remaining warmth left by
Lin Xu on his lips.
He was so so happy that it felt surreal.
“…… You laughed so foolishly.” Lin Xu commented with a doting tone of voice.
Su Cheng’s face immediately stiffened as he glowered at Lin Xu: ……
This bastard, does he even feel love?!
We just started our relationship; then shouldn’t he passionately pledge his

undying love with sweet words? Huh?
Lin Xu stared continuously at Su Cheng, taking note of every single change of

expression. He said, “Ever since I knew you were the neighbour who lived
opposite me, every morning I would purposely choose the time when you were
going out to buy breakfast to go for my morning run so that I could meet you
downstairs……were you aware of it?”
Su Cheng suddenly realised that the meetings were planned on purpose by Lin
Xu: “I was wondering why I saw you practically every day!”
Ever since Su Cheng found out by chance that if he went downstairs to buy
breakfast at around 7 am, there was the possibility of running into male god
when he went out for his morning run, even if it was difficult, he would struggle
to wake up at 6:30 to wash his face, brush his teeth and comb his hair, dressing
smartly before going downstairs to buy steamed buns.
After that, at some place, whether it be the steamed bun shop’s entrance, the
apartment building’s entrance, neighbourhood flower terrace, the corridor……
he would coincidentally meet male god who was dressed in sports attire,
preparing to go for his morning jog and saying hello.
Three, two, one…… shoulders back, chest out! Head up! Smile!
“Good morning, going for a run?” Su Cheng who brimming with vitality and
holding his steamed buns, directed a brilliant smile at Lin Xu.
His eyes curved in an adorable arc, slightly dimpling, causing people to be
unable to resist reaching out to touch them.
Oh oh oh it’s coming, it’s coming!
“En, good morning.” the corner of Lin Xu’s mouth showed a faintly discernible
curve, his gaze sweeping past Su Cheng indifferently.
The silhouette of his side profile was cold and handsome, causing people to not
dare to approach him.
And then, the two of them part ways.
After that, Su Cheng as per usual, carries the steam buns home, finishing his
breakfast in two to three bites. He then contentedly takes off his clothes,
crawling back into his quilt and going back to sleep……
Because he really hates waking up at the crack of dawn!
As the saying goes, he who wakes up early, yawns all day long![1]
“Why do you think the two of us always came across each other every day
without fail? Su ‘Little’ Cheng held his chin as he wondered, “actually if we were
careless and late by a few minutes we wouldn’t have met each other……it’s
simply too coincidental.”
“Coincidental?” Lin Xu issues a snort of laughter, “That’s because every

morning I’m behind the door, paying attention to your every move. It’s only
when you come out that I do as well, you little dummy[2].”
“Youyouyou……” Su Cheng’s level of amazement was no less than if he’d seen

a comet hit the earth.
“What?” Lin Xu raised an eyebrow.
Su Cheng couldn’t help but imagine the appearance of the aloof, handsome
male god, every morning fully dressed and pressed up against the door,
secretly watching him through the peephole……
Su Cheng, asking for trouble, collapsed onto the bed letting out a loud burst of
laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” Lin Xu tugged off the quilt, throwing himself onto
Su Cheng and pressing him down beneath him.
“I’m not laughing, ahahahaha!” Su Cheng waved his hand while laughing so
hard that tears were threatening to come out.
Lin Xu also laughed, reaching his hands into the quilt to tickle Su Cheng: “I’ll
make you laugh. I’ll make you laugh until you’re satisfied.”
The two tussled for a while, Su Cheng giggling until he was gasping for breath.
A pair of bright, moist eyes looked at Lin Xu. After staring for a moment,
suddenly arms wrapped around his neck, causing the quilt to slide off and
completely pressing Lin Xu on top of Su Cheng.
In the room, the sound of breaths rising and falling successively could be heard,
like waves surging beneath the moonlight.
“Let’s talk about you.” Lin Xu breathed lightly, directly against Su Cheng’s ear.
“About me?” Su Cheng felt ticklish, trying to draw back.
“Yes.” Lin Xu’s tone was gentle and soft, naturally replying, “About how much
you like me, how you were secretly harbouring a crush on me, or about how you
were up all night thinking about me.”
Su Cheng’s face turned red: “I was never up all night thinking about you!”
……This shameless person!
Lin Xu sighed disappointedly, saying: “So I was the only one who couldn’t sleep
at night?”
The top of Su Cheng’s head was emitting smoke, he quickly changed his
previous words: “Actually I was also unable to sleep.”
“Haha.” Lin Xu laughed loudly.
Su Cheng turned his body away, burrowing into the quilt, feeling a deep sense
of security.
Soon after, Su Cheng glanced at the toy poodle still lying unconscious next to
him. Licking his lips, he said: “Should we kiss again? Just to make sure……”
“Sure.” Lin Xu happily complied, quickly kissing Su Cheng.
“If……I stay like this for the rest of my life, what should I do?” Su Cheng was
worried, gripping onto the material of Lin Xu’s pyjamas, near his stomach.
Lin Xu winked happily: “Don’t worry. If that happens, then we only have to never
be apart, kissing every few minutes and there won’t be any problems.”
Su Cheng: ……
And you’re still telling me not to worry. Young hero[3], your heart is really big!
Su Cheng’s feelings towards Lin Xu have always been very simple.
From the first time he saw the neighbour that had just moved in across from
him, he already could not resist taking a second look.
After a long time, he slowly understood the other party’s habits and the
fantasies in his head started getting out of control.
—— A person who persistently jogs is really admirable, he has perseverance

and willpower. All his running shoes are white in colour, he’s definitely a person
who likes cleanliness……I also like being clean! We’re simply a perfect match!
Thinking like this, Su Cheng excitedly rolled about on the bed.
He has several dogs.
—— Men who keep pets are the cutest! Caring, meticulous and gentle.
Furthermore, so many dogs and all of them are toy poodles, this proves that
male god……likes toy poodles! Such an important discovery!
Thinking this way, Su Cheng noted it down on his laptop, “male god is fond of
toy poodles”.
He’s never brought a person home with him before.
—Ohhhhhhhhh male god must be single? He must be single! I’ve got a chance!
Thinking this way, Su Cheng was so elated that his whole face was red. After
jumping around like an idiot in his room for a moment without caring what others
thought, he panicked and went to his laptop to continue writing.
What kind of person is he actually?
Bit by bit, from the minor details observed and miserably few clues, he strove to
reason out the conclusions, one by one. He repeatedly agonized over each
item, groping about in his mind to assemble a complete profile.
Any person secretly in love, is also a great detective.

But even though he was so deeply in love, Su Cheng’s type of love, was always
only becoming ever closer to yearning.
Because it was too ethereal, it could not descend to the ground[4]. So every
sentence of ‘love’ carried the tone of worship and self-mocking.
After all, it was an impossible thing.
Until that evening.
That day, Su Cheng had just finished his dinner and gone to the public square
near his house for a stroll.
This public square had a beautifully designed wishing fountain. There was a
strange legend surrounding this wishing fountain, for example so and so had
made a wish and it had come true, however listening to it they were all
unreliable rumours. Su Cheng recalled that when he was in middle school,
these rumours were quite popular for a while. But it seems like nobody brings it
up anymore nowadays.
And that day when Su Cheng spotted Lin Xu, he was with six dogs on the leash,
standing in front of the fountain. Firstly, he wished that from the fountain a god
would appear for a moment, and then he used his other hand that was not
carrying anything to throw a coin into the fountain.
Su Cheng: ……
Male god actually believed in such things.
Unexpectedly cute, huh.
After throwing the coin, Lin Xu earnestly closed his eyes and put his palms
together for a moment.
The evening’s sunlight caused the public square to be bathed in beautiful

warmth. Lin Xu’s profile cast a long ink-black shadow against the warm orange
flagstones. The six toy poodles were misbehaving, and straining against their
leashes wanting to run. They caused Lin Xu’s left hand to be thrown up and
down, making it impossible for him to put his palms together properly.
The corner of Lin Xu’s mouth held a little hint of a helpless smile. His
countenance, which was ordinarily so beautiful that it appeared somewhat
sharp and cold seemed in that instant to be softened by the sunshine. The
curve of the corner of his eyes together with the lighting were both just as soft.
Standing nearby with his hands shoved into his pockets, Su Cheng was
wandering aimlessly. In this manner he halted his steps and quietly watched Lin
Xu make a wish.
This person.
It seems like I’ve really fallen in love with him.
Su Cheng gazed at Lin Xu’s side profile, foolishly laughing a little. The evening
sun lighted up his dimples, making them appear exceedingly sweet.
“It’s possible that it was from that moment that I resolutely, seriously fell in love
with you.” Said Su Cheng, the corners of his eyes tingling, “previously I also
liked you, but I just felt that it was better to hold myself back. After all, it was
possible that I didn’t have much hope……but suddenly that day, for some
inexplicable reason, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Su Cheng.” Lin Xu’s voice repeatedly pounded on his eardrums, clear and
warm, “Do you know what I wished for that day?”
Su Cheng shook his head. And then nodded his head.
“That you would fall in love with me, like how I was in love with you.” The sound
of Lin Xu’s voice seemed to carry magic, “that was my wish.”
T/N
[1] Lit. Wake up early, muddle-headed the entire day
[2] Lit. Small silly egg, an affectionate insult like how you would call your friend
idiot or potato
[3] 少侠 – wuxia term, roughly translated as young hero. Skilled martial artists
who are righteous
[4] 因为太缥缈，落不到地上 – Something along the lines of how there is mist

but it never condenses into rain.
Bark!? 14
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 14 – Teeheeheeheehee how embarrassing!]
At dusk, everything between heaven and earth was washed in golden sunlight,
glimmering with a magical halo.
Su Cheng who was standing at the public square, rubbed at his eyes.
I love him, I love him so much that my chest hurts a little.
What should I do?
……Maybe this was why, at that moment, he was suddenly unable to persuade
himself to continue refraining.
Which is to say that this fountain really was so effective?
Thinking up till this point, Su Cheng’s voice wavered slightly: “……Actually, I

also made a wish, the day before yesterday.”
The day before yesterday, after eating his dinner he was taking a walk at the
public square, searching for inspiration. He sat down next to the wishing
fountain[1] for a while. Remembering Lin Xu’s face as he made his wish, he
then took out the only coin in his pocket and threw it inside, having a ‘let’s try it
and see’ attitude……
“What did you wish for?” Lin Xu’s long and slender fingers slowly tightened their
grip on Su Cheng’s wrist.
“I……” Su Cheng hesitated a few seconds before suddenly burying his head
into the pillow, “I’m not telling you ahhhhhhhh!”
Too! Shame! Ful!
“Tell me.” Lin Xu laughed.
Su Cheng fiercely shook his head, face unyielding: “No!”
Lin Xu let out a snort of laughter, stating: “Then I’ll have to let my imagination
run wild……could it be that you wished you could be my puppy?”
Su Cheng, face red, grabbed the pillow and smacked Lin Xu with it: “How could
that be possible! I’m not a masochist!”
“Then why don’t you say what it was.” Lin Xu lightly pinched his chin,
“Otherwise I’ll just assume I was correct.”
“I said, I said……” Su Cheng used the pillow to cover his face. His voice was
tinier than a mosquito, causing Lin Xu to have to move his ear closer to be able
to hear.
…….What was his wish, hm?
Su Cheng put his hands together, his face serious as he began to earnestly
pray.
Fountain, fountain deity, hello, I want……male god to hug me to sleep!

Teeheeheeheehee how embarrassing!
Su Cheng squatted down, covering up his flushed face.
The people passing by: ……
Ahhhh sleep and whatnot, too shameful ahhh. Actually, I haven’t made
preparations to sleep with male god!
Otherwise……
Bathing together is also not a bad idea, hehehe!
Actually, I really want to try having male god feed me by hand!
Or else, letting male god kiss me would also be good, I’d remember it for life!
If that’s not possible, even a hug would be enough!
Su ‘Little’ Cheng, whose mind was running wild, full of delusions, heaved a sigh.
He rested his chin on his hand and sat back down next to the fountain.
Wanting to be together with Lin Xu, Su Cheng desolately thought…….if only it

could come true.
“……and the result,” Su Cheng’s depressed voice came from behind the pillow,
“seems like they all came true?”
He’s slept with him, bathed with him, been fed by him, been kissed and hugged.
However, he was in dog form at the time!
But it’s also true that he didn’t specify that he couldn’t be turned into a dog for
those things!
“if there was really a deity……he seems to have a wicked sense of humour?”
Su Cheng said angrily.
Lin Xu laughed softly, tugging away the pillow in Su Cheng’s hands: “If that’s so,
then there is still that one last wish.”
Su Cheng: “Yes……”
We still haven’t pledged our undying love to each other!
“I love you, please be with me,” Lin Xu held the back of Su Cheng’s neck,
pushing their foreheads together, “okay?”
“Okay.” Su Cheng uselessly choked out in between sobs, “I also love

you……love you exceedingly.”
Love you so much that I’m even crying uncontrollably!
The instant that those words left his mouth, that toy poodle suddenly rolled over
and sat up. Its intelligent, small black eyes darted everywhere.
The atmosphere was filled with soft wonder.
Lin Xu’s hands were holding Su Cheng’s face. Kissing him gently, he softly
called his name: “Su Cheng, Su Cheng…..:”
The toy poodle named Su Cheng immediately excitedly threw itself at Lin Xu
and licked his face.
Lin Xu: ……
Su Cheng: ……
“Can you change its name?” Su Cheng wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or
cry.
I really don’t want to share my name with a dog that can’t control its sphincter!
“I can’t.” Lin Xu solemnly refused, “If I change its name then how can I hug Su
Cheng to sleep in the future?”
“You can hug……” Su Cheng retorted quietly, “me.”
“Haha.” Lin Xu exposed smug smile, stretching out both arms, “come, let’s hug.”
The toy poodle who was on the side, witnessing their public display of affection,
calmly let out a fart of incomparable stench, then jumped off the bed and ran
away.
“It stinks, it stinks!” Su Cheng collapsed and buried his face into the pillow.
Lin Xu, laughed, insanely happy. He raised the corner of the quilt and fanned
himself.
Su Cheng wanted to cry but no tears were forthcoming: ……
Can’t my love be free from poop, urine and fart?!
T/N:
[1] It became wishing pond in this chapter, I have no clue why – maybe the
author forgot. I’m keeping it as fountain because the image is nicer in my mind.
Bark!? 15 [End]
Translator: Baozi
[Chapter 15 – Stirring up gentle ripples, round and round]
What happened after that——
“Stop giving me overlord tickets.” Su Cheng published the new chapter update.
He was so tired he was nearly collapsing on the computer table.
“Why?” Lin Xu was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding down a toy poodle
and brushing its fur.
Su Cheng reached out a hand, five fingers spread out: “The website will take a
50% cut. Dear, do you know how to live your life?!”
Lin Xu didn’t lift his head: “But this way, you have a bigger reputation.”
“……There’s really no need.” Su Cheng came to a stop behind Lin Xu, curling
his arms around his neck and leaning on his back.
Was there anything that added more to his reputation than “Lin Xu is my
boyfriend”?
There’s nothing.
“You’re brushing too roughly.” Su Cheng reached for the comb in Lin Xu’s hand.
He stroked the toy poodle who was whining, “Let me do it.”
Lin Xu defended himself while handing over the comb to Su Cheng, “I’m being
very gentle.”
Su Cheng: ……
Are you sure that you’re being very gentle? It’s been continuously crying
‘fuckkkkk’!
Ever since he’d experienced turning into a dog, Su Cheng has obtained a
lasting skill — he can understand what dogs are saying.
Even though this skill is of no fucking use at all……
Only being able to hear the mocking and ridicule that the toy poodles were
heaping on him. After all, in the royal harem people often simmer in envy and
hate!
Toy poodle: “Woof woof woof, woof woof woof!”
Fucking hell, why is it you again!
Su Cheng: “Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof!”
So what if it’s me again! Try me again and I’ll bestow the Scarlet Punishment
upon you![1]
Really was a model Empress……
Lin Xu was standing to one side, dumbfounded.
Ever since the time when my wife accidentally turned into a dog, then he started
to enjoy speaking dog language.
After he finished brushing the dog’s fur, the two people held hands. Each hand
leading three dogs, they went to the public square to walk the dogs.
The public square was very lively, there were people walking their dogs, some
going for a stroll, and also those flying kites. There were even little kids running
around with cotton candy, one yuan each, round and large puffs.
While passing by the wishing fountain[2], they both coincidentally came to a

stop.
“This wishing fountain is so effective; do you want to try and make some other
wish?” Su Cheng fished out a few coins from his trouser pocket, a mixture of
one yuan and half-a-yuan ones.
Lin Xu responded with a sound, taking the coins. Turning his head, he looked at
Su Cheng, saying: “I don’t have any other wishes, do you?”
Su Cheng honestly shook his head: “Neither do I.”
He was very happy and satisfied with the way things were right now.
“Okay, then……” Lin Xu laughed. Rummaging about in his own pocket, he also
brought out some coins. Gathering all the small change together, he threw them
into the fountain with a jingling sound. In a soft voice, he murmured, “Who
knows, the fountain deity might want to eat the cotton candy on the other side.”
These coins would be enough to buy quite a few of them.
“Makes sense.” Su Cheng really believed him, nodding his head repeatedly and
holding Lin Xu’s hand.
Great lord fountain deity ——
Thank you so much.
Two humans and six dogs slowly disappeared from view.
The fallen coins quietly reflected the orange afterglow that shone back into the
fountain’s bottom. A dragonfly landed lightly on the pond surface, stirring up
gentle ripples, round and round.
T/N:
[1] 赐你一丈红 – A type of punishment in ancient china’s harems where the

offender is beaten with a 2 inch thick, 5 foot long board. Interestingly enough,
only certain people had the authority to administer this punishment, one of them
being the Empress.
Parting message from Translator:
I hope you enjoyed my first (and last) project it even though it was short. Special
thanks to alittlefaith who edited the first 3 chapters, ShenHua and Rai for the
help with words/phrases I was stuck with, and of course ayyshadow (whose
project this originally was until I decided to pick it up on a whim), for hosting it.
后会有期
— Baozi

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Bark!?

Chapter 1 – Brothers, Attack!

That’s right, that male god named Lin Xu.

Lin Xu – height of 1.85 metres, long legs, manager of a bank, fair-skinned,

As a disappointing ‘coloured dog’[1], Su Cheng has secretly liked Lin Xu for a

At this time, Lin Xu opened his eyes.

Su Cheng held his breath, almost letting out a shriek.

Shit, shit, male god touched me!

In disbelief, Su Cheng opened his mouth again: “…Woof woof woof?”

Oh my god! How did I become a dog!?

Lin Xu stared at Su Cheng and pondered for a moment before speculating:

“Woof ….. woof.”

Calling it heat… is also not wrong.

The black material covered a round, bulging object, creating an attractive

Su Cheng’s brain exploded with a boom.

“Woof woof woof!”

I don’t want to be castrated ahh ahh ahh!

Su Cheng’s dog face suddenly became very solemn.

Just as Su Cheng was deep in thought, from nearby came a cacophony of

Scarily enough, Su Cheng discovered that he could understand their barking…

[1]Coloured Dog = Someone who only cares about a person’s outward

Chapter 2 – Lin Xu rubbed Su Cheng’s doggy head

“Woof woof woof!”

Excluding himself, there were five.

“Why is he the only one that hasn’t been spayed?”

“Tch, couldn’t do him.”

So, they’re jealous….

It’s just pure, naked jealousy.

Su Cheng thought in his heart.

I’m definitely not going to eat dog food…..

“Go quickly.” Lin Xu said firmly.

It really was the worst.

He was so aggrieved that his tears almost fell!

So Su Cheng again turned his head and ran.

To find water, obviously he had to go to the bathroom.

Hot water poured down with a roar.

“…..” Su Cheng went limp against male god’s chest.

Oh my godddddddd male god kissed me!!!

[Chapter 3 – He actually sunk so low as to vie for favour against dogs……]

That was really too scary, okay!

…..Wait a moment, what “merely” ah!

The expressions on the dog’s face kept changing, amazingly varied

“Su Cheng.” Lin Xu patted Su Cheng’s doggy head, asking in a deeply

This is fucking embarrassing![1]

Su Cheng was so shocked that his mind went blank. As if sleepwalking, he

Unexpectedly, it actually tasted quite good.

Su Cheng’s feelings were complicated beyond description.

Giving a dog his name like that….

This was a good opportunity to write some words.

Su Cheng looked very proud of himself: “Woof!”

You should look properly!

Right at this critical moment….

“Earlier what was he doing on the floor?”

“Who knows, must have been sucking up to Master again.”

Su Cheng, who was dumbstruck: …

Lin Xu laughed and stroked their heads one by one.

Su Cheng’s heart was suddenly full of desolation, as if he had grown older by a

[Chapter 4 – Why not take the opportunity to get some benefits!]

Su Cheng couldn’t help but feel his balls ache[1].

Please show a little remorse!

[Chapter 7 – As if those little shous in danmei novels beep——!!]