UNIT 3

Understanding Harmony in the Family and Society- Harmony in Human-Human Relationship

Understanding harmony in the Family- the basic unit of human interaction, Understanding
values in human-human relationship; meaning of Nyaya and program for its fulfillment to
ensure Ubhay-tripti; Trust (Vishwas) and Respect (Samman) as the foundational values of
relationship, Understanding the meaning of Vishwas; Difference between intention and
competence, Understanding the meaning of Samman, Difference between respect and
differentiation; the other salient values in relationship, Understanding the harmony in the
society (society being an extension of family): Samadhan, Samridhi, Abhay, Sah-astitva as
comprehensive Human Goals, Visualizing a universal harmonious order in society Undivided
Society (Akhand Samaj), Universal Order (Sarvabhaum Vyawastha )- from family to world
family.
Q1. What is the importance and role of family in the life of an individual?
Or
“Family nourishes family members”. Explain with examples.
Family is the basic unit of human interaction, as we interact with every member of the family
in different ways on a regular basis. The family does not only mean our blood relations as it
includes a very wide social order. The family definitely includes our father, mother, brother,
sister, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. We are born into these relations and we interact
with them regularly. We also have friends, colleagues, teachers, and many other people that we
come across as part of our everyday interactions. We recognize these relations and understand
them and seek mutual fulfillment through these relations.
Apart from these relations we are also part of a larger social order that include people upon
whom we depend for leading our everyday lives, for instance the shopkeeper, the milkman, the
maid, the bus driver. Each of them supports the existence of our family and is part of a larger
web of interdependency. A family helps to inculcate values such as patience, honesty, integrity
and self control gradually and steadily to children.
Q2. How can harmony in the family is assured.
Harmony in the family is assured by understanding four basic proposals.
First we must understand the relationships that exist between one Self and another Self, i.e.,
between two Selves or people.
Secondly, the Self has feelings in the relationship between the two people:
Thirdly, these feelings in the Self are definite and can be identified with definiteness.
Lastly, it is by recognizing and fulfilling these feelings that mutual happiness in a relationship
can be guaranteed.
Taking the first proposal, it is important to understand that relationships exist between selves
and not between the bodies. The body is just the means to express or receive the relationship
with another Self. The Self alone understands and has feelings. For instance, a person feels
trust towards another person and this understanding in through the Self and not the body. There
is no way in which the body can feel this feeling of trust Similarly, the body cannot understand
or have feelings. Feelings are the domain of the Self. There are feelings in every relationship
and they occur naturally. We cannot create or destroy these feelings. We may try to hide or
suppress them, but we cannot change their basic nature. And all this goes on within the Self
and not within the body.
It is also important to recognize that feelings are definite. This clarity helps the Self to have a
mutually successful relationship with another Self. These definite values are love, affection,
trust, respect, etc. Lastly, we must work at recognizing these feelings and identify with them.
Based on this understanding, when we work and behave according to those feelings, there is
mutual fulfillment for both the Selves involved in the relationship. constant evaluation of our
feelings as well as the feelings of another Self is also an important way of ensuring that there
is no gap in the relationship and there is mutual fulfillment.
Q3. What is the state of our relationship today and how can we make them better?
In today's fast paced world, where everything is instant, we try to make our relationships instant
as well. Our inability to understand both the nature of our relationships and the correct way to
make them mutually fulfilling leads to great confusion, we stress and unhappiness. The first
mistake we make is to recognize relationships with others based on the body and not the self.
The main problem is that we do not realize that are a co-existence of the body and the self. We
only try to satisfy the needs of the body and similarly, we understand our relationships and
feelings through the body. For instance, we may think that only our blood related relatives are
to be trusted or respected. We do not realize that there are other people in the social order who
help us to lead our daily lives with ease. So when we struggle against our relationships with
these people, it increases the problems within us. It is important to understand that our natural
acceptance says that we must recognize and fulfill our relations with every human being.
Moreover, the feelings in relationships are the same with every human being. It is only with
this understanding we can hope to achieve mutual fulfillment.
Another problem is to recognize relationships mostly on the basis of physical goods. In other
words, we understand our relationships on the basis of material gain. We have reduced our
expectations in relationships to the mere fulfillment of physical facilities. Most people evaluate
their relationships in terms of material things like money, property, possessions, etc.
Consequently, they feel that the practice of accumulating wealth and material possessions in
the key to have mutually fulfilling relationships with everyone around. But, this is the exact
reason for so many problems that we see within our families and in our neighbourhoods. The
insatiable greed for money and wealth destroys relationships.
Thus, in order to have mutually fulfilling relationships, it is very important to first have right
understanding of how to recognize relationships not in terms of money. Secondly, we must
understand that we cannot fulfil relationships through money. Our feelings cannot be replaced
by any material thing. These feelings are definite in nature and are the values in the relationship.
Some of these values are trust, respect, affection, guidance, gratitude, etc. Understanding these
values, identifying with them, fulfilling them and evaluating them will lead to mutual
fulfillment. It is only when people understand this, their relationships will be mutually
fulfilling.

Q4. Define justice in relationships. What are the programs for the fulfilment of Nyaya to
ensure ubhay-tripti?
Justice is recognizing that feelings are definite in relationships, fulfilling the relationships and
the right evaluation of the fulfillment, leads to mutual happiness. Thus, justice is composed of
four elements: recognition of values or the definite nature of feelings, fulfillment, evaluation
and ensuring mutual happiness. When all these four elements are ensured, justice is ensured.
The first program to ensure Nyaya in relationship is recognizing the values in relationship. We
have the feelings in relationship which are in between ‘I' and 'I' (others). These feelings are the
same with every human being. We need to understand the relationship and fulfil them with
mutual understanding. Hence right understanding is must to ensure harmony in relationship.
The fulfillment is the second program to ensure Nyaya.
The third is evaluation which is a natural process. When we live in relationship we constantly
evaluate our feelings and the others feelings in the relationship. Undoubtedly, trust is a feeling
which is the foundation value and the main link between the relationship and if there is a mutual
feeling of trust, then it leads to mutual fulfillment and this mutual fulfillment opens the gate
for mutual happiness which is the fourth program to ensure Nyaya.
Family is the basic unit of human interaction. It is an unit of world family too. When the family
has harmony with the help of Nine values and Nyaya it leads mutual fulfillment and mutual
happiness in relationship.
This Nyaya (Justice) begins at the level of a family and slowly expands to the world family. If
our feelings are justified, then we can be in harmony within ourselves, family, society and the
entire existence. This harmony from individual to existence is known as Uphay Tripti. It means
all are trip (satisfy) with the harmony and fulfill their needs.
Q5. Trust (vishwas) is a very important human value. Discuss.
Or
What do you understand by trust (vishwas)?
Or
Define trust (vishwas).
Trust is the foundational value in all relationships. It is absolutely important. Trust is created
by our own behaviour, our own value systems and responses. We have to explore it within
ourselves.
Trust is a mental state in which we presume that the other person will honestly fulfil the
promises they have made. People around us want us to work towards the happiness and
prosperity of others. In other words, trust is established towards our fellow human beings when
we have the right understanding of intention of people around us. We feel threatened or afraid
of people who could possibly deny us, our happiness and peace of mind.
Human beings are social animals. We live with other human beings in a society. For us to co-
exist we need to have trust. Weneed to learn to interact with people. It is essential that we know
how to deal with various kinds of people. We trust our parents and other people in our family.
It is by instinct that we look up to our parents when we are young to protect us, to feed us and
to help us when we are in trouble. We believe in their competency to help us. Trust is the belief
in someone's sincerity, ability and dependability. If we are not sincere and consistent in our
actions people around us will not trust us.
Intention is what we aspire to achieve, therefore it can be defined as performing an action
according to a specific purpose, the end or goal that is aimed in mind. It is the purpose behind
our actions or conduct. Intention is one aspect of trust. Intention is naturally acceptable to us
in relationship.
Competence is the ability to perform a specific task, action or function successfully. The quality
of being competent demands possession of required skill, knowledge, qualification, or ability
to perform a task. Whether we are able to successfully work according to our natural acceptance
or not, is our competence. Generally we judge ourselves on the basis of our intention while
others on the basis of their competence.
Trust is a relationship with people around you where you expect them to act according to your
expectations. In other words, to a certain extent you can predict the actions of the object of
your trust. There is a certain stability achieved in the relationship. To develop trust we need to:
1. Be Consistent in our Actions: Consistency in action will help to remove any kind of
suspicion.
2. Faith in Competencies: We should not doubt the capabilities of the people we trust.
3. Do not Keep Secrets: Secrets destroy trust in any relationship. People make
assumptions about our actions when we hide information, we would need to lie to hide
our secrets. Lies and wrong assumptions can damage relationship.
4. Do not Pretend: If we are faithful to ourselves then it is easier for people around us to
believe us and interact with us. If we are true to ourselves then all relationship we form
are rooted on solid ground.
Understanding the Meaning of Samman
Respect or Samman means "Right Evaluation" or showing an appropriate behaviour to the
object of respect. It is the feeling of admiration, we show towards another human being because
of their qualities or achievements. Evaluation should not be based on caste, creed, sex, religion
etc. Respect is a key human value. In other words, respect can be understood as a genuine
expression of regard directed to peers, family or authority. Respect is not the same thing as
obedience. Respect is a virtue which helps us to succeed in life. Whereas, attention is
selectively concentrating on any one aspect of a particular activity. Attention lacks right
evaluation.
(a) Under Evaluation: When someone is evaluated less than what it is. The object under
evaluation feels pitiable. Under evaluating someone means disrespecting them as it
shows that their abilities have been neglected. This can give rise to a sense of
dissatisfaction.
(b) Otherwise Evaluation: When we evaluate someone for what they are not. It can mean
over evaluating someone or in certain cases under evaluating someone.
(c) Care: The feeling of nurturing, looking after and protecting our family and others
around us. It is an innate feeling of the parents towards their children.
(d) Guidance: The desire to help others and to share your experience and knowledge. It is
a feeling expressed by the elders of a family and often teachers towards their students.
(e) Reverence: It means to show honour and respect for something or someone. It is a
feeling of honour and respect towards someone who has achieved excellence in life.
(f) Glory: People who have been able to live exemplary lives, achieve glory. When
someone makes effort to achieve excellence and achieves it. Their life becomes an
example for future generation to look up to. This gives rise to sense of glory.
(g) Gratitude: It is the feeling of thankfulness and honour to people who have made
significant contributions to our lives.
(h) Love: It is a sense of affection, and relatedness to people around us.
Competition is a sense of contest which arises between individuals, groups and sometimes
between countries. This feeling arises when they are aiming at a same goal. When two people
work towards achieving the same goal there is a lack of sense of affection and we see the other
person as an opponent and we compare ourselves. This makes us uncomfortable about the
opponents intentions and leads to our own unhappiness. Competition when taken as a challenge
in order to make ourselves perform better is called excellence. In working towards achieving
excellence there is no sense of comparison with others. It is pushing ones ownself to perform
out best.
Competition can be of two types:
1. Destructive Competition: It seeks to benefit an individual by damaging or eliminating the
other competitive organism. It opposes the desires for mutual survival. Here the success of an
individual is dependent on the failure of other.
2. Constructive Competition: It is based on promoting mutual survival. Here, everyone wins.
This is the type of competition where individuals can compete to improve their level of
happiness but compete in a co-operative manners through peaceful exchange without violating
the other people.
In today's society the parameters of evaluating people is on the basis of gender, race, age or
physical strength. It is sad that we have forgotten that the basis of judging people should be of
right evaluation. Therefore when we are judging people we are not evaluating them instead we
differentiate. There is no sense of respect shown in such differentiation. Therefore there is no
human bond or relationship established when such differentiation takes place. Differentiating
human beings on the basis of either of the following i.e., gender, race, age, physical strength
or money is incorrect.
Gender differentiation: It is a cause for which many people are working around the globe,
Men and women are equal therefore there is no legitimate reason to pay women less salary for
the same job or not giving them equal opportunity in education. There is still preference for a
male child in most of Indian households. This breeds insecurity among women.
Race: Differentiating on basis of skin colour is known as differentiation based on race. Such
discrimination leads people in living in fear. People around the world have fought against this
kind of discrimination for years. Age or Physical Strength: Such kind of discriminations
involves getting work done by children and not paying them, for their work or treating elderly
people is an injustice manner
Money: In our day to day lives often we see that people who have lot of money get things their
way. They can manipulate other person's behaviour. Such kind of behaviour increases
corruption in the society.
Religion: People often distinguish on the basis of religion. Years ago our country got divided
in two parts on the basis of religion and we all know that it caused lot of bloodshed.
Discrimination against "untouchables" still exists in our country. When people of the minority
sections feel insecure they demand special provision in jobs, education, etc. If our
understanding of others is based on such parameters and labelling then we fail to see the actual
person and their true nature. India is multicultural and multiethnic country. It is very important
for us to co-exist with the various other sects, cultures and religions and respect their belief and
systems. Feelings of disrespect and differentiation lead to resentments and protests.
Understanding Harmony in Society and Visualizing a Universal Harmonious Order in
Society
The programs needed to achieve the comprehensive human goals are right understanding
among the human being and to facilitate the fulfillment of the basic aspirations of all human
beings in the society. There are following comprehensive human goals:
(1) Right Understanding (Samadhan): It is observed that right understanding is the utmost need
for every human being to escape from all the contradiction among the human beings and to
create harmony among them.
(2) Prosperity (Samridhi): In the family prosperity is very much needed. It is a feeling to have
more than required physical facilities. The family members have to identify their needs and
should be able to produce/achieve more than requirements. This feeling is known as Prosperity.
(3) Fearlessness or Trust (Abhay): This goal is very appealing in the family, society and
individual also. Trust in society means that every member, feels/realizes related to everyone in
the society (lyisteme). They have no fear. Hence the human beings are feeling fearlessness in
the society and able to do what they desire naturally.
(4) Co-Existence (Sah-Astitiva): In nature if there is co- existence it means that there is a
relationship and compatability among all the entities in nature. Human being is also one of
them. They are free from all the creeds, caste, religions and cultures.
The programs needed to achieve these comprehensive goals are:
(1) Education-Right living (Shiksha-Sanskar):
Education: Means to understand the harmony at all the four levels viz. individual,
family, society and nature.
Sanskar: Refers to live in harmony at all four levels of living.
(2) Health-Self Regualtion (Svasthya-Sanyam):
Health: When the body, is fit to act according to the needs of 'T’ and all the parts of the
body are in harmony.
Sanyam: Refers to a feeling of responsibility for nurturing, protecting and rightly
utilizing the body. It is the basis of svasthya.
(3) Justice-Preservation (Nyaya-Suraksha):
 Justice: It refers to being fair with all human beings
Preservation: It refers to harmony in the relationship between human being and the rest
of Nature.
(4) Production- Work (Utpadan-karya):
Production: It refers to the output/physical produce that is obtained by human efforts.
Work: The labour that human does.
(5) Exchange-Storage (Vinimaya-kash):

Exchange: It means that the exchange of physical facilities between members of the society.
Storage: It refers to the storage of physical facilities. Thus, these are the programs needed to
achieve the comprehensive human goal.
Fearlessness is one of the comprehensive human goal. In the family, society and individual
also this fearlessness is because this entity is enough to build the relationship among the human
beings. If they have right understanding at individual level they will do accordingly. In the
family if prosperity is found, the family will progress naturally. It means if individual and
family members have harmony among themselves then the society has trust automatically.
Hence it is said that fearlessness follows from right understanding and prosperity.
Apart from co-existing with human beings we have to ensure a healthy relationship with the
nature too. The physical environment around us needs to be protected. It is important to
preserve the water bodies, trees, birds and animals. Preservation involve ensuring three aspects:
enrichment, protection and right utilization. We should not disturb the delicate balance
therefore we should make efforts to enrich nature by planting more trees. We should not cut
trees or kill animals and pollute the environment. We should utilize our natural resources
cautiously and judiciously.
The feeling of being related to every human being in a society leads to our participation in an
undivided society. When we have achieved harmony at the level of individual and explored the
harmony at the family level and walk towards achieving harmony at the level of society, this
gives us a feeling of world family. Three activities can be performed to send the message of a
holistic society:
1. Educating society through workshops, seminars and street plays:
This is about organizing workshops, seminars and street plays at various levels in society. The
activity may be carried out by N.G.O.'s must receive the support of government organization.
These activities can be categorized into three types which include.
• Knowing the self,
• Knowing the existence on basis of self,
• Knowing the definite human conduct which is contribution of self in existence.
2. Value Education in education institutions: Value education should be introduced in current
education system at all level primary school, secondary school, senior secondary school as at
college level.
3. Helping to apply values to the real world: Organizations both government and non-
government should open up counselling centres which can help their employees or general
public to apply values in real life situations. It is about realizing the alternatives in life. The
idea is not to live in isolation or indivisualism but with expansion of Self to higher levels in the
social system.
Living in harmony of an individual right from the individual level to the level of the entire
order or existence is known as the Universal Human Order.
Universal Human Order can be achieved only by right understanding. As we have seen the
whole existence and all orders makes harmony except the human being. The Universal order
reveals all full dimension of human behaviour, education, health towards a fragmented society.
The steps to move from family to world family is known as undivided society.
Family => Family Cluster => Village => Village Cluster => World Family.
It is possible through right understanding. We need work in universal order. It is only right
understanding that provides. us the basis for humanistic constitution which is essential to
provide clear guidelines and policies frame work conductive to the development of undivided
human society and a universal human order working towards the comprehensive human goals
and developing the competency of human ethical conductive will be among the salient
principles of universal human order. Now a days human society is divided into many castes,
race, religion, rationalities whose objectives and efforts are different. Our main energy is being
used in handling these conflicts and contradictions. The human beings are spending a lot of
efforts and resources in preparing themselves for war, only to ensure peace. This is happening
only because of our lack of right understanding. Thus we need to perform our duty in
appropriate way to ensure undivided society.