PARENTING

GOD’S WAY
PA S TO R WAT S O N M S I M A N G A
FAMILY
• After God created Adam and Eve , he gave them dominion over the
world ( Gen 1:26;2:15). They made up the first family , the first
church and marked the beginning of the society . Thus society was
built upon marriage and the family . Because they were the only
human inhabitants of the earth . God commanded ( Gen 1:28)
• As world population statistics indicate , an unpopulated earth no
longer cries out to be filled and subdued . But those married
Christian couples who decide to bring children into the world ,
still have an obligation of rearing their children in the nature
and admonition of the Lord
PARENTS AND THEIR OBLIGATIONS
• The father
• Scripture has given the husband and the father the responsibility of being the
head and priest of the household ( Colossians 3:18-21) . He becomes a type of
Christ , the head of the church.
• “ for the husband is the head of the wife , as also Christ is the head of the
church ; he is the savior of the body . Therefore just as the church is subject to
Christ , so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything . Husbands love
your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it , that he
might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word , that he
might present himself a glorious church , not having spot , wrinkle or any such
thing ,but that it should be holy and without blemish . So husbands ought to
love their own wives as their own bodies , he who loves his wife , loves himself
.( Ephesians 5:23-28)
• As Christ leads the church , husband and wife “ both should be yielding , but
the word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband where it is
not a matter of conscience . At the same time he has the responsibility to treat
her individuality with utmost respect
• As Christ demonstrated a gentle ruler ship that went to the cross in servant
hood , so the is to lead sacrificially . Christ’s rule is one of wisdom and love ,
and when husbands fulfill their obligations to their wives , they will use their
authority with the same tenderness as Christ uses toward the church . When the
spirit of Christ controls the husband , the wife’s subjection will only result in
rest and benefit , for he will require from her only that which shall result in
good , and in the same way that Christ requires submission from the church .
• Let those who stand as husband study the words of Christ not to find out
how complete must be the subjection of the wife , but how he may have the
mind of Christ and become purified , refined and fit to be the Lord of his
household
• As a priest of the family , like Abraham , the father will gather his
family about at the beginning of the day and commit them to the
Lords care . In the evening he will lead them into praising him and
thanking him for the blessings bestowed . This family worship will
be the tie that binds – the time that gives God priority in the family
• The wise father spends time with his children . A child may
learn many lessons from the father , such as respect and love for
their mother love for God , the importance of prayer ,love for
other people , the way to work earnestly , modesty, love for
nature and the things God has made . But if the father is never
home , the child is deprived of this privilege and joy .
•
THE MOTHER
• Motherhood is the closest thing on earth to being in partnership “the king upon this throne has no
higher work than has the mother . Sister white has this to say in the book Adventist home “ second
to God is the influence of a woman” The mother is queen of her household . She has in her power
the molding of her children’s characters , that they be fitted for higher immortal life . An angel
could not ask for a higher mission ; for in doing this work she is doing service for God …………..
• Let her realize the worth of her work and put on the whole armor of God , that she may resist the
temptation to conform to the world’s standard . Her work is for time and for eternity
• Somebody in the family must bear the ultimate responsibility for the character of the children .
Child training cannot be haphazard or delegated to others , for no one feels quite the same
about a child as do its parents . God created the mother with the ability to carry the child
within her own body , to suckle the child , and to nurture and love it. Except for the
extenuating circumstances of severe financial burdens of being a single parent , if she will accept
it , a mother has a unique privilege of remaining with her children all day ;she can enjoy working
with the creator in shaping their characters for eternity
• “someone in a relationship needs to consider the family as a career ….. Taking
on the career of being a mother and wife is a fabulously rare lifework in
the twentieth century , and a very challenging job. A wasted effort ? A
thankless job ? An undignified slave ? No , a most exciting possibility of
turning the tide , of saving the species , of affecting history , of doing
something that will be felt and herd in ever widening circles
• In OT times a person’s name conveyed a short statement about the person who
bore it . Eve received her name after the fall ( Gen 3:20) . Because she was to
be the mother of all human beings , her name was derived from the word
living . It reflects the extra –ordinary position of honor that she occupies in the
history of the human race
• Just as the procreation was not the sole and exclusive right of either
Adam or Eve , so neither was parenthood . The latter was also to be
a shared responsibility . And so it should be now , not only in
bearing of children , but also in the rearing of them . Each parent
has certain responsibilities , and they are to be carried out as to the
Lord “ lo children are an heritage from the Lord : and the fruit of the
womb is his reward “ ( Psalms 127:3)
• What do we do with the children the Lord has entrusted us with
• What kind of parenting styles do we implement
• What is it that we allow our children to do
• How about disciplining children
CHILDREN
• A priority
• Other than their commitments to the Lord and their spouses , parents have no higher responsibility than to the children
that they have brought to the world . They must put their children’s interests before their own advancement and comfort
; the children did not choose to come into the world , and they must be given the best possible start in life . Since
parental prenatal influences vitally affect one’s spiritual , mental , and physical health , making the child’s welfare a
priority should be given even before death

• Love
• A parent’s love should be unconditional and sacrificial . Even though it may never be completely reciprocated , children
must have it to have good self-image and emotional health throughout life .children who have to win love or who feel
rejected and unimportant will try to obtain their parents’ love through undesirable behaviors that become ingrained and
habitual
• Children who are secure in their parent’s love will reach out to others . They can be taught to give as well as to receive
and that there is a reason for existence beyond self . As children develop , they can learn to glorify God
COMMITMENT

• Christian parents are to dedicate their children to God’s service at the earliest possible moment of life . Seventh day
Adventist congregations provide for such a dedication with a simple ceremony in which , before the congregation ,
parents presents their children to God in prayer , much as Joseph and Mary presented the infant Jesus to the Lord in
the Temple ( Luke 2:22-39)
• In this manner the child begins life as a part of an extended spiritual family . Members of the congregation
participate in the social and spiritual development of the young one as a child of God and a member of the body of
Christ
• In this service the parents also dedicate themselves to educate the child in the ways of the Lord so that the image of
God may be formed in the child . To reach this goal , parents will bring their children to Sabbath school and church
regularly so that the little ones becomes part of the body of Christ early in life . Then as the child reaches school age
, the parents ,and church will make every effort to enable him or her to have the Christian education that will nurture
that child’s love for the Lord even further
CONSTANCY

• The spiritual teaching the parents do is an ongoing process that

• Proverbs 22:6 train up a child in a way that he should go so that when he is old he should not depart
from it
• What does this training entails ?
• Discipline implies far more than punishment . Punishment usually deals with the past whereas
discipline deals with the or looks into the future
• Discipline is a disciplining process in which a young one is appreciated to the parent for training ,
guidance and example . It means teaching important principles such as loyalty , truth , equity ,
consistence , patience , order , mercy , generosity and work
• When children learn early to obey their parents implicitly , authority poses no problem to them in life
. But the type of obedience learned is important also
• True obedience comes not simply because it is required but because it springs from within .
The secret of this kind of obedience lies in new birth
• “ the man who attempts to keep the commandments of God from a sense of obligation merely –
because he is required to do so – will never enter into joy of obedience . He does not obey ….
True obedience is the outworking of a principle within . It springs from the love of
righteousness , the love of the law of God . The essence of all righteousness is loyalty to our
redeemer . This will lead us to do right because it is right – because right doing is pleasing to
God
•
SOCIALIZATION AND
LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT
• It is within the family that children are socialized as members of the human race , with all
responsibilities and privileges that entails . Socialization is the process by which children learn
basic skills with which to function in the society .
• Language with all its nuances of communication is one of the first skills the child learns
• the language used in the home needs careful monitoring , then , so that it reveals the character
of God
• the child should hear frequent joyous and spontaneous expressions of affection among family
members , and praise to God
GENDER IDENTITY

• It is in the home through wholesome interaction with males and females that make up the entire
family system , that children learn to function as male or female within the society .
• Adults need to teach them the beauty of their developing sexuality throughcorrect and
appropriate information
• it is their responsibility to safeguard the children from sexual abuse
LEARNING VALUES

• A basic socializing function of the home is to provide for the assimilation of the values
espoused by the family . The family’s values and religious concepts do not always coincide .
Parents may claim to adhere to certain religious principles , but the values that they model
before the child may not be in accordance with those principles . It is important that parents be
consistent
INDIVIDUAL SPIRITUALITY
AND RESPONSIBILITY
• Though marriage partners have made a covenant commitment to each other , they must each
individual bear the responsibility for the choices they make ( 2Corinth 5:10)
• Taking such responsibility means they will never blame the other person for what they
themselves have done
• They must also accept the responsibility for their own spiritual growth ; no one can rely upon
another’s spiritual strength
• Yet on the other hand , each one’s relationship with God can serve as a source of strength and
encouragement to the other
THE TURNING

• Since the family is the very of the church and society , the Christian family itself will be the
instrument of winning and holding its members for the Lord . The very last verses of the OT
ARE PROPHECY of what will take place before the Lord returns ( Malachi 4:5,6)
• While many forces today attempt to pull members from the family , God’s calls is to a
reuniting , a resolidifying , a turning and restoration . And those families that respond to His
call will have a strength that will reveal real Christianity
• The churches made up of those families will grow ; their young people will not leave ; they
will portray to the world a clear picture of God