The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood

I read this book because Holly Van Gulden recommended it at an attachment workshop I attended. I've read it twice now and I refer to it all the time. Fraiberg's writing style is a bit awkward at times, so it took me a while to get through the book, but it was definitely worth the effort. She offers reasonable and understandle explanations of the stages and struggles of the developing young child. Using concrete examples from her vast experience, she addresses the roles of anxiety, fear, imaginary friends, and language in the emotional and intellectual development of the child from birth through age six. As the mother to a child with mild attachment problems, this book was invaluable in helping me gauge my daughter's emotional development and making informed decisions about the kind of therapeutic parenting she needs. I found Fraiberg's explanations and advice to be reassuring and empowering.

This book is must reading for anyone who is around kids a lot. I am a pediatrician and have learned more from this book than any other, including Nelson's Text of Pediatrics. Selma Fraiberg offers us a window into the mind of children, from the 8 month old to kindergartener. She teaches us what is not in textbooks. She has an amazing way with words and many of anecdotes are hilarious and touching. Read what she has to say about how children and parents handle loss. Here is an excerpt from "The Missionaries Arrive", about the toddler: "The missionaries have arrived. They come bearing culture to the joyful savage. They smuggled themselves in as infatuated parents, of course. They nurtured him, made themselves indispensable to him, lured him into discovery of their fascinating world, and after a decent interval they come forth with salesmen's smiles to promote higher civilization." Ms Fraiberg teaches us child development and gives us the tools to handle developmental bumps in the road. Buy and cherish.

I have owned several copies of this over the years, and reread it every year or so. It is the best book for understanding development from the young child's perspective. I use examples from this book in my workshops. It is readable, enjoyable, and although it is 40 years old, is one of the most up-to-date and clear books I have read on children's emotional development. She was a woman ahead of her time!

As a psychotherapist who has worked with many children, I cannot praise this delightful work highly enough. This fascinating book is an easy to read and brilliantly conceived glimpse into the child's reality. Though written decades ago, The Magic Years is still standard assigned reading for psychologists in training. Fraiberg describes the development in childrens' reasoning (e.g., how they perceive and interpret things through the use of "magical thought"; hence the title). She also discusses kids' changing emotional and intellectual needs as they develop through these years from toddlerhood through grade school. Her vivid grasp of the child's perspective allows anyone to relate better to children. It is never too early or too late to read this book. A must-read for parents or for anyone who wants to better understand the logic behind how young kids work. A great gift for the new parent!

Get inside an infant's and toddler's mind. This book will teach you that your baby is not driving you nuts for fun or profit. They are just being normal. It made our lives easier, and it made us better parents.