OTHER
editArabic customs
editArabic weddings vary depending on the country and religion of the bride and groom. Although Christian weddings in the Arab World bear clear similarities to Western weddings, the Muslim weddings in the Arab countries are influenced by Muslim traditions. Muslim weddings (pre-arranged or not) start with a Shaikh and Al-Kitab (book) for the bride and groom. The groom may or may not see his bride until the wedding day. Men and women in wedding ceremonies and receptions are segregated affairs, with areas for both men and women. An old tradition, now rarely observed, involves the women at the ceremony symbolically mourning the loss of the bride by doing the "wedding wail". The bride's dress is an ornate Caftan, and the bride's hands and feet are decorated in intricate lace-like patterns painted using a henna dye. Customarily women guests do not show their hair, shoulders or legs; and all guests at a Mosque remove their shoes on entering. Guests may give gifts to the bride and groom. Also, in many Arab countries including Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and the Palestinian territories, the practice of carrying the bride and groom on chairs and dancing in a circle around them (dabke) is still carried out today. Many times, the bride and groom hold separate corners of a handkerchief. Arabs, nowadays, have Western-like weddings, but still preserve most Arab customs and traditions. [citation needed]
Bengali customs
editBengali wedding refers to both Muslim wedding and Hindu wedding in Bangladesh and West Bengal. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common cultural rituals in marriages across religion among Bengali people.
Chinese customs
editTraditional Chinese marriage is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, and monogamy was the norm for most ordinary citizens.
Cantonese customs
editMost Cantonese wedding rituals follow the main Chinese wedding traditions, although some rituals are unique to the Cantonese people.
Filipino Customs
editCustoms and superstitions regarding marriage in the Philippines vary. Some examples are:
- The groom usually wears the Barong Tagalog during the wedding, along with the male attendants, though nowadays the wealthy opt to don Western attire such as a tuxedo.
- Sukob: weddings held within the same year by two siblings, usually sisters, are frowned upon as it is regarded as bad luck.
- Some hold it that the wedding rings dropping to the ground is a portent of bad luck (this is usually said to the ringbearer to ensure that the child is careful in handling the rings).
- Money, in the form of paper bills, is sometimes taped or pinned to the groom and bride during the reception.
Indian customs
editIndian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration, that continue for several days. They are not small affairs, often with 400-1000 people attending (many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Though arranged marriages were predominant, nowadays western influenced dating and "love" marriages have an equal following.
Rajput customs
editRajputs - one of the major Hindu Kshatriya groups from India - traditionally had their own typical rituals of marriage as it is one of the most important functions of life. It is relation which is created for seven generations between the two families of the Bride & the Groom. It comprises a ceremony each for the TILAK (engagement), the BAN (starting of the wedding ceremony, MEL the community feast, the Nikasi is the departure of the Bridegroom party for the wedding, Sehla & Dhukav reception of wedding party at the Brides place be her parents. Solemnisation of wedding Sat Fere.
Japanese customs
editThis article needs attention from an expert in Japan. Please add a reason or a talk parameter to this template to explain the issue with the article.(April 2008) |
Japanese wedding customs fall predominantly into two categories: traditional Shinto ceremonies, and modern Western-style ceremonies. In either case, the couple must first be legally married by filing for marriage at their local government office, and the official documentation must be produced in order for the ceremony to be held.
Shinto ceremony
editTraditional Japanese wedding customs (shinzen shiki) involve an elaborate ceremony held at a Shinto shrine.
Western-style ceremony
editIn recent years, the "Western Style Wedding" (influenced by a Christian church wedding) has become an increasingly popular choice. To that end, an entire industry has sprung up, dedicated to providing couples with a ceremony modeled after Protestant church ceremonies. Japanese western style weddings are generally held in a chapel, either in a simple or elaborate ceremony, often at a dedicated wedding chapel within a hotel. Typically, much like in Western ceremonies, the bride and groom get their own changing rooms within the chapel, as does the bride's father and any other important guest who requires such a room. There is also a room to hold the reception afterwards.
Before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. Often during this rehearsal, the bride's mother lowers the veil for her daughter, signifying the last act that a mother can do for her daughter, before "giving her away". The father of the bride, much like in Western ceremonies, walks the bride down the aisle to her awaiting groom.
After the rehearsal comes the procession. The wedding celebrant will often wear a wedding cross, or cana, a cross with two interlocking wedding rings attached, which symbolize a couple's commitment to sharing a life together in the bonds of holy matrimony. The wedding celebrant gives a brief welcome and an introductory speech before announcing the bride's entrance. The procession ends with the groom bowing to the bride's father. The father bows in return.
The service then starts. The service is given either in Japanese or English, or, in some cases, a mix of both. It follows a traditional Protestant ceremony, relaxed and not overtly religious. The opening hymn is usually the Japanese version of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". Part of 1 Corinthians 13 is read from the Bible. After the reading, there is a prayer and a short message, explaining the sanctity of the wedding vows (seiyaku). The bride and groom share their vows and exchange rings. The chapel register is signed and the new couple is announced. This is often followed by the traditional wedding kiss. The service concludes with another hymn and a benediction.
Malay customs
editA Malay wedding ceremony spreads over two days, beginning with the akad nikah ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin(dowry). After that, their hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed or her eyebrows shaped by a beautician known as the mak andam.
Pakistani customs
editA Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days.
Russian customs
editA traditional Russian wedding lasts for at least two days and some weddings last as long as a week. Throughout the celebration there is dancing, singing, long toasts, and a lot of food and drinks. The best man and maid of honor are called witnesses, “svideteli” in Russian. The ceremony and the ring exchange takes place on the first day of the wedding and on this special day many events take place. Throughout the years, Russian weddings have adopted many western cultures, including bridesmaids and flower girls. During the wedding feast any of the guests can start chanting "Gorko" ("bitter") which usually is immediately supported by the rest of the guests. In this case bride and groom should kiss each other and the kiss should last for as long as the chanting continues.
European customs
editCustoms vary throughout the European continent.
The Western custom of a bride wearing a white wedding dress, came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies the white dress did not actually indicate virginity, which was symbolized by a face veil). Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings, largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "White wedding."
A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the couple, the newlyweds having the first dance, and cutting the cake. A bride may throw her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, with folklore suggesting the person who catches it will be the next to wed. A fairly recent equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed.
A modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old). Another addition to this custom is to wear a penny in your shoe, this will bring you prosperity.
French customs
editIn smaller French towns, the groom may meet his fiancée at her home on the day of the wedding and escort her to the chapel where the ceremony is being held. As the couple proceeds to the chapel, children will stretch long white ribbons across the road which the bride will cut as she passes.
At the chapel, the bride and groom are seated on two red velvet chairs underneath a silk canopy called a carre. Laurel leaves may be scattered across their paths when they exit the chapel. Sometimes small coins are also tossed for the children to gather.
At the reception, the couple customarily uses a toasting cup called a Coupe de Marriage. The origin of giving this toast began in France, when a small piece of toast was literally dropped into the couple's wine to ensure a healthy life. The couple would lift their glass to "a toast", as is common in Western culture today.
Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. This dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.
At a more boisterous wedding, tradition involves continuing the celebration until very late at night. After the reception, those invited to the wedding will gather outside the newlyweds' window and bang pots and pans. They are then invited into the house for some more drinks in the couple's honor, after which the couple is finally allowed to be alone for their first night together as husband and wife.
Another practice common at wedding celebrations is Sabrage: the "beheading" a bottle of champagne with a sabre made for the occasion. It was started as a way for the Hussars (under Napoleon's command) to celebrate victories and exhibit their horseback skills: they would "behead" the top off a bottle of champagne while on horseback. Legend has it that the skilled horsemen would ride at a full gallop while brave women held up bottles of champagne. The sabre must strike the neck of the bottle at exactly the right angle (champagne bottles have over 100 pounds of pressure per square inch).
This practice spread throughout France as a way to celebrate special occasions. Decorative replicas of these special sabres can be purchased from artisans in Lyon, France (the French capital of cutlery).
Greek customs
editTwo or three days before the wedding, the couple organizes a celebration called "Krevati" (Greek for bed) in their new home. In Krevati, friends and relatives of the couple put money and young children on the couple's new bed for prosperity and fertility in their life. After the custom, they usually have a party with food and music.
On the day of the wedding, usually Saturday, but also Friday or Sunday, groom cannot see the bride, until the wedding time. The groom usually arrives first in church and waits for bride, who usually come after a delay. After they exchange flower bouquets, they have the wedding ceremony, where the best man puts on the couple the wedding rings and hoops and the couple drink three times red wine from the same glass. In some point, invited people throw rice and flowers to the couple for fertility and felicity. In the end of the wedding ceremony, invited receive sugarpla and greet the couple, their best man and their very near relatives.
After the ceremony, usually the couple hold a great wedding party in some place with plenty of food, drinks, music and dance, usually until next morning. The wedding party starts with the invited people waiting for the couple, who usually come after some time. They start the party dancing blues and eating a piece of their wedding cake. In some point of the party, they also dance the traditional zeibekiko (groom) and tsifteteli (bride).
In many places of Greece, where they hold a more traditional wedding, they usually play only traditional music and eating local food. For example in the region of Cyclades, they eat the traditional pasteli (solid honey with sesame) and in the region of Crete they cook rice with goat. In most traditional weddings, they bake whole animals like pigs, goats or sheep just like the Greek Easter celebration. Before the church ceremony, especially in smaller areas, usually friends and relatives of the bribe and the groom, accompanies them separately to the church playing traditional instruments, according to the region.
A typical Greek wedding will usually have more than 100 invited people (but usually 250-500) who are friends, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, first or second cousins, neighbors, colleagues and job partners. It is not impossible to have invited people that the couple has never seen in their lives. This is because the people who will be invited are usually determined by the parents of the couple and not by the couple itself.
Italian customs
editIn some parts of Italy, a party, known as a Serenade, is thrown outside of the bride’s home by the groom. His family and friends come and wait for the bride, entertaining themselves until she appears. The groom then sings to his bride to further seduce her. Once his song is sung, the party ends.
The day of the wedding the groom’s men try their hardest to make the groom as uncomfortable as possible by saying things like “Maybe she forgot where the church is”
It is also traditional for the grooms family to give a dowry to the bride and to provide the engagement ring. The bride’s family is then responsible for receiving the guests of the wedding in their home for a reception afterward.
The color green is very important in the Italian wedding. In Italy, the tradition of some thing blue is replaced with something green. This color brings good luck to the married couple. The veil and brides maids also were important in an Italian wedding. The tradition began in Ancient Rome when the veil was used to hide the bride from any spirits that would corrupt her and the bridesmaids were to wear similar outfits so that the evil spirits were further confused.
In Sicilian customs, the dessert course is often presented as a Venetian Table, a dazzling array of pastries, fruits, coffees, cakes, (etc) presented in great quantity with much celebration. This is often called Venetian Hour.
After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. In Southern Italy, as the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor, a small token of appreciation.
Polish customs
editIn Polish weddings the celebrations may continue for two or three days. In the past, the engagement ceremony was organized by the future groom as a formal family gathering, during which he asked his chosen lady to marry him. In the recent years this custom has changed and today an engagement is much more personal and intimate. An elegant dinner party afterwards is still a nice way to inform the closest family members about the couples' decision to get married.
In some regions of Poland the tradition to invite the wedding guests in person is still upheld. Many young couples, accompanied by the parents, visit their family and friends to hand them the wedding invitations personally.
According to the old tradition a groom arrives with his parents at the house of a bride just before the wedding ceremony. At that time both parents and parents-in-law give a young couple their blessing. The couple enter the church together and walks up to the altar followed by two witnesses and the parents. In Poland it is quite unusual for the bride to be walked down the aisle or to have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding. The couple is assisted by two witnesses, a man (usually grooms' side) and a woman (usually brides' side) who are either family members or close friends.
The Polish bride traditionally wears a white dress and a veil. The groom, on the other hand usually wears a fitted suit with a bow tie and a boutonnière that matches the brides' bouquet. During the ceremony wedding rings are exchanged and both the husband and wife wear them on their right hand. When they leave the church the guests toss rice or coins at the married couple for good and prosperous future together. Right after the ceremony the closest family and all the guest form a line in the front of the church to congratulate the newlyweds and wish them love and happiness. As soon as the married couple leave the church they get showered with rice for luck or guests drop coins at their feet for them to pick up.
Once all the guests have showered the couple with kisses, hugs and flowers everyone heads to the reception. It is a custom in Poland to prepare "passing gates" on the way to the reception for the newlyweds, who in order to pass have to give the "gate keepers" some vodka. This is a misinterpretation of an earlier tradition, when the "passing gates" were built when the bride was an orphan and money collected by "gate keepers" from the guests was handed over to the bride as her dowry (being orphan implied usually poverty).
The married couple is welcomed at the reception place by the parents with bread and salt. The bread symbolizes the prosperity, salt stands for hardship of life, the parents wish the young couple that they never go hungry and learn how to deal with every day hardships together. The wedding party lasts (and the bride and groom remain) until the last guest leaves, usually until morning.
In Poland, movements like Human Liberties Crusade [1] [2] or Wedding of the Weddings promote non-alcoholic wedding celebrations.
Romanian customs
editLăutari are musicians performing traditional songs. The music of the lăutari establishes the structure of the elaborate Romanian peasant weddings. The lăutari also function as guides through the wedding rituals and moderate any conflicts that may arise during what can be a long, alcohol-fueled party. Over a period of nearly 48 hours, this can be very physically strenuous.
Following custom almost certainly dating back at least to the Middle Ages, most lăutari spend the fees from these wedding ceremonies on extended banquets for their friends and families over the days immediately following the wedding.
Scottish customs
editScotland is a popular place for young English couples to get married since, in Scotland, parents' permission is not required if both the bride and groom are old enough to legally be married (16). In England it was the case that if either was 16 or 17 then the permission of parents had to be sought. Thus Scotland, and especially the blacksmith's at Gretna Green, became a very popular place for couples to elope to, especially those under 18 and usually living in England. Gretna Green now hosts hundreds of weddings a year and is Scotland's third most popular tourist attraction.
Customs:
- The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the meal at the reception.
- Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organizes delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
- A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, register office or possibly another favorite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnesses, usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
- The newly wed couple usually leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
- There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
- The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
- Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. In some cases the drink may be whisky or wine with a non alcoholic alternative.
- The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
- There is nearly always dancing following the meal. Often in Scotland this takes the form of a ceilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
- The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
- A sprig of white heather is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
- It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often hired for this purpose.
Handfasting
editHandfasting is an ancient Celtic wedding ritual in which the bride's and groom's hands are tied together — hence the phrase "tying the knot". "Handfasting" is favored by practitioners of Celtic-based religions and spiritual traditions, such as Wicca and Druidism.[citation needed]
North American customs
editUnited States customs
editMost weddings in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary but common components are listed below.
- The bride may wear “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.”
- The bride usually wears a white dress at her first marriage.[3]
- A color scheme is often selected to match everything from bridesmaids' dresses, flowers, invitations, matchbooks, and table settings.
- Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility. [1]Some individuls, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst. [4]
- The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand (or in an elegant font) to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion.
- Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
- A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other location, such as an outdoor venue.
At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location but sometimes at a different venue:
- The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
- Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
- Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
- Clinking silverware against glassware encourages the newlyweds to kiss.
- If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey.
- In some cultures, the dollar dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to give them a financial base to start their new lives. This practice, as is any suggestion that the guests owe money to the couple, is contrary to etiquette and considered extremely rude in some circles.[5]
- The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter—often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake. In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time, which again is considered quite vulgar elsewhere.
- The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose. These practices are falling into less favor in the 21st century.[6]
- Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
Wedding gifts
editThe purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel, contrary to proper etiquette, that for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts or cash.[7]
The couple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usually including china, silverware and crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. Registries are intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly utilize. The registry information should, according to etiquette, be provided only to guests who request it, and should never be included in the invitation.[8] Some couples register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund.
Some guests may find bridal registries inappropriate. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that all gifts are optional and should be taken as delightful surprises, taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple knows the costs of each individual item. Etiquette considers it inappropriate to invite people who know neither the bride nor groom well enough to be able to choose an appropriate gift.[9]
Many believe a false etiquette myth that thanks for gifts may occur up to a year after the ceremony. Gifts however, though optional, may be sent up to a year after the wedding date. Thanks should be sent as soon as possible, preferrably within two weeks. Extra time can understandably be given for gifts received just after the ceremony, while the couple is honeymooning. While receiving an invitation does not require that a gift be given, etiquette dictates that all wedding invitations be returned with at least congratulations.[10]
African-American customs
editJumping the broom developed out West African Asante custom. The broom in Asante and other Akan cultures also held spiritual value and symbolized sweeping away past wrongs or warding off evil spirits. Brooms were waved over the heads of marrying couples to ward off spirits. The couple would often but not always jump over the broom at the end of the ceremony.
The custom took on additional significance in the context of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly-ceremonial African cultures.
Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between Black Americans.[citation needed]
There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.[citation needed]
African customs
editPygmy wedding traditions
editPygmy engagements were not long and usually formalized by an exchange of visits between the families concerned. The groom to be would bring a gift of game or maybe a few arrows to his new in-laws, take his bride home to live in his band and with his new parents. His only obligation is to find among his relatives a girl willing to marry a brother or male cousin of his wife. If he feels he can feed more than one wife, he may have additional wives.
Religious aspects of weddings
editThis section may need to be rewritten to comply with Wikipedia's quality standards, as The intro to this section is about marriage, and needs to be rewritting to discuss weddings ceremonies and traditions instead, as does the section on Christian customs. A large amount of info in the section on Jewish customs is commented out and needs to be incorporated. Sections on other religious customs such as Islamic and Shinto eddings would also be helpful.. |
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In virtually all religions, marriage is a life-long union between two or more people and is established with ceremonies and rituals. The people are most commonly one man and one woman[citation needed], though some religions have permitted polygamous marriages and some faiths and denominations recognize same-sex marriages.
In marriage, Christians see a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church. In Judaism, marriage is so important that remaining unmarried is deemed unnatural. Islam also recommends marriage highly; among other things, it helps in the pursuit of spiritual perfection. The Bahá'í Faith sees marriage as a foundation of the structure of society, and considers it both a physical and spiritual bond that endures into the afterlife.[11] Hinduism sees marriage as a sacred duty that entails both religious and social obligations. By contrast, Buddhism does not encourage or discourage marriage, although it does teach how one might live a happily married life and emphasizes that married vows are not to be taken lightly (see separate article for details).
Different religions have different beliefs as regards the breakup of marriage (see divorce). For example, the Roman Catholic Church believes that marriage is a sacrament and a valid marriage between two baptized persons cannot be broken up by any other means than death. This means that civil divorcés cannot remarry in a Catholic church marriage as long as their spouse is alive.
In the area of nullity, religions and the state often apply different rules, meaning that a couple, for example, could have their marriage annulled by the Catholic Church but still be married in the eyes of the law because the state disagrees with the church over whether an annulment can be granted in a given case. This produces the phenomenon of Catholics getting church annulments simultaneously with civil divorces, so that they may remarry both legally and sacramentally. The Catholic Church will not, in fact, grant an annulment petition unless the marriage has also been dissolved or annulled under civil law. Though sometimes styled "Catholic divorce", an annulment means not a dissolution of a marriage, but the recognition that a marriage has not taken place at all. This applies to sacramental marriages; marriages between an unbaptized and a baptized person can be dissolved according to Canon law (see Pauline privilege).
Detailed viewpoints on various wedding customs
editCustoms associated with various religions
editChristian customs
editMany religions have extensive teachings regarding marriage. Most Christian churches give some form of blessing to a marriage; the wedding ceremony typically includes some sort of pledge by the community to support the couple's relationship. A church wedding is a ceremony presided over by a Christian priest or pastor. Ceremonies are based on reference to God, and are frequently embodied into other church ceremonies such as Holy Mass [12].
Customs may vary widely between denominations. In the Roman Catholic Church "Holy Matrimony" is considered to be one of the seven sacraments, in this case one that the spouses bestow upon each other in front of a priest and members of the community as witnesses. As all sacraments, it is seen as having been instituted by Jesus Christ himself (See Mt 19:1-2, CCC §1614-1615). In the Eastern Orthodox church, it is one of the Mysteries, and is seen as an ordination and a martyrdom.
Mar Thoma customs
editKerala is the homeland of Mar Thoma Christians (St.Thomas Christians). It is believed that they were converted by Saint Thomas the disciple of Jesus Christ in the first century. Their wedding customs and traditions include several Jewish elements and Indian customs. The ceremony is divided into two parts. In part I, the officiating minister receives the wedding ring from the groom, blesses it and puts it on the ring finger on the right hand of the bride. This is a very old custom that is still followed. In Part II, the bride and groom join hands, and a Bible portion is read. Then they are crowned as the head of a new family. The first gift to his wife is a necklace with a golden pendant called Minnu. The groom tie it around the neck of the bride. She is also given a saree known as Manthrakodi.
After the ceremony at the church there is the reception that will be followed by a ceremony called kachakoduppu. In the presence of immediate relatives only, at the house of the groom, the groom gives a kacha (saree) to his mother-in-law. From that time they address one another as mother and son.
Quaker customs
editA Quaker wedding ceremony in a Friends meeting is similar to any other Meeting for Worship, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends.
Hindu customs
editNorth and South Indian wedding ceremonies are conducted at least partially in Sanskrit, the language in which most holy Hindu ceremonies are conducted. The local language of the people involved is also used since most Hindus cannot understand Sanskrit. They may have rituals that differ fom the modern western wedding ceremony and also among the different regions, families, and castes such as Rajput Wedding, Aggarwal Weddings, Iyer Weddings and Tamil Weddings. The ceremonies are colourful and extend for several days.
Jewish customs
editThe traditions used in a Jewish wedding are adhered to in varying forms based on the denomination of Judaism of the people being married. Some common themes are found throughout:[13][14][15][16][17]
- Before the ceremony, the couple formalize a written ketubah (marriage contract), specifying their obligations to each other and contingencies in case of divorce.
- The couple is married under a wedding canopy (chuppah), signifying their new home together. The chuppah can be made by attaching together two prayer shawls (talit), but may also be made from other cloth, or even, in less traditional ceremonies, from balloons or flowers.
- The couple is accompanied to the chuppah by both sets of parents, and stands under the chuppah accompanied by many family members.
- The couple share a glass of wine
- The couple declares that each is sanctified to the other, and/or repeats other vows, and exchanges rings. In Orthodox and traditional Jewish weddings, only the bride receives a ring, and only the groom speaks.
- The ceremony ends with the groom, or both participants, stepping on the wine glass, while the assembled congregation shouts mazel tov. The reasons given for this act vary from making a loud noise to scare away bad luck, to breaking the shared glass as a sign that no one else can partake in relations between the couple, to a symbolic spilling of blood (the wine dregs) to symbolize the wedding night, to a remembrance even at joyous occasions of the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, to bringing revelers back to the reality of daily living, to (jestingly) the groom's last chance to put his foot down. In some ceremonies, a lightbulb is substituted because it makes a more satisfying noise when broken.
- The couple retire from the post-wedding festivities to briefly spend some time alone together.
Many of these traditions stem from much older marriage customs, and are directly relevant to Talmudic law regarding marriage.
LDS customs
editWithin The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons), the act of marriage is regarded as an eternal affair. As such, there are two kinds of marriages recognized by the Church, civil marriage and celestial marriage. Civil marriages are those legally contracted under local law and are dissolved upon the death of the participants, while celestial marriages, also known as sealings, bind the participants as husband and wife for all eternity if both are righteous.
Celestial marriages can only be performed by Priesthood authority within a Sealing Room in a dedicated temple. Only members of the LDS church who have a temple recommend may attend an LDS wedding. The wedding is often referred to as a sealing, in which husband and wife are sealed beyond death into the next life. Space is limited in sealing rooms so only family and close friends attend.
The sealing can be performed at the same approximate time as the civil marriage or for a couple civilly married for at least one year. In the latter case, if the couple already has children, they may also accompany the ceremony to be sealed to their parents. Children who are born to parents who have already been sealed need no such ceremony, as they have been "born in the covenant."
Many LDS couples will then hold wedding receptions or open houses after the wedding ceremony in another venue that is open to all family and friends. Some couples choose to recreate a more traditional wedding ceremony, or will simply perform certain traditional acts, such as the throwing of the bouquet, first dance, etc.
Economic aspects
editIn the United Kingdom, the average wedding cost approximately £20,000 in 2005[18]. This means that couples wait longer before getting married, with the average age of those getting married 6.7 years higher than 20 years previously.
- ^ http://www.kwc.oaza.org.pl/dokument.php?id=224 Krucjata Wyzwolenia Człowieka
- ^ http://www.spontana.fora.pl/diakonia-wyzwolenia,44/wesela-bezalkoholowe-gazeta-wyborcza-o-kulturze-niepicia,505.html Lepiej łyknij wody [Gazeta Wyborcza - DUżY FORMAT] Witold Szabłowski
- ^ Miss Manners Guide to Excrutiatingly Correct Behavior: Freshly Updated, Judith Martin, 2007, p. 414, ISBN#0-393-05874-3
- ^ http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/birdrice.asp
- ^ Miss Manners Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, Judith Martin, 1990, p. 580
- ^ Miss Manners Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, Judith Martin, 1990, p. 638
- ^ Miss Manners Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, Judith Martin, 1990, p.587, ISBN#0-671-72228-X
- ^ Miss Manners Guide to Excrutiatingly Correct Behavior: Freshly Updated, Judith Martin, 2007, p. 435, ISBN 0-393-05874-3
- ^ Miss Manners Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, Judith Martin, 1990, p.643, ISBN#0-671-72228-X
- ^ Miss Manners Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, Judith Martin, 1990, p.647, ISBN#0-671-72228-X
- ^ Smith, Peter (2000). "Marriage". A concise encyclopedia of the Bahá'í Faith. Oxford: Oneworld Publications. pp. p. 232-233. ISBN 1-85168-184-1.
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has extra text (help) - ^ http://www.holyspiritchurch.com/weddingarr.htm Making Wedding Arrangements at Holy Spirit Church
- ^ "Guide to the Jewish Wedding" (html). Retrieved 2008-07-03.
- ^ "Nissuin: The Second of the Two Ceremonies" (html). Retrieved 2008-07-03.
- ^ "Understanding the Jewish Wedding" (html). Retrieved 2008-07-03.
- ^ "Ceremony: Jewish Wedding Rituals" (html). Retrieved 2008-07-03.
- ^ "Marriage in Jewish Art" (html). Retrieved 2008-07-03.
- ^ "Weddings - the Burden of Cost" (pdf). Alliance Trust. 2007-03-01. Retrieved 2008-04-08.