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WandaVision

From Wikiquote
What is grief, if not love persevering?

WandaVision is a television miniseries airing on Disney+ based on the Marvel Comics characters Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch and Vision.

Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here, exactly? Do we make something?
[Wanda is levitating dishes onto a shelf. Vision walks in and a dish hits his head, breaking it into pieces.]
Vision: My wife and her flying saucers.
Wanda Maximoff: My husband and his indestructible head.

Agnes: Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. So, what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon?
Wanda Maximoff: I'm Wanda.
Agnes: Wanda. Charmed. Golly, you settled in fast! Did you use a moving company?
Wanda Maximoff: I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves!
Agnes: So what's a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house?
Wanda Maximoff: Oh, no, I'm not single.
Agnes: Oh, I don't see a ring.
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I assure you, I'm married. To a man. A human one and tall.

[Vision is at work at Computational Services, Inc.]
Vision: Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here, exactly? Do we make something?
Norm: No.
Vision: Right. Do we buy or sell something?
Norm: No and no.
Vision: Then what is the purpose of this company?
Norm: All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%.
Vision: Yes, but what is it we're producing?
Norm: Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. You're like a walking computer.
Vision: What? I most certainly am not! I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm.

Wanda Maximoff: We are an unusual couple, you know?
Vision: Oh, I don't think that was ever in question.

[Wanda "magics" wedding rings onto her and Vision's fingers.]
Vision: I do. Do you?
Wanda Maximoff: Yes. I do.
Vision: And they lived happily ever after.
[They kiss as show credits roll.]
Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?
Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
Vision: [practicing a talent-show magic act] Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?
Wanda Maximoff: Well, that's the whole point! In a real magic act, everything is fake! Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.
Vision: [pointing to his android face] Well, I don't think that should be a problem.
Wanda Maximoff: This is our home now. I want us to fit in.

Agnes: How is anybody doing this sober?

Dottie Jones: The devil's in the details, Bev.
Agnes: That's not the only place he is.

Agnes: [aside to Wanda, regarding Dottie's meeting] How is anyone doing this sober?

[Dottie has cut her palm on broken glass. Wanda quickly covers it with a cloth dinner napkin.]
Dottie Jones: Pop quiz, Wanda. How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? [a beat] By doing it herself.

Vision: Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be ...[bumping into a handrail] I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.
Wanda Maximoff: I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
Vision: Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
Dr. Nielsen: We let the little ladies keep tabs on their growing babies with fruit. Makes it simple for them. [Wanda grimaces at the sexism] At four months, the fetus is about as big as a pear. At five months, a papaya. Six, grapefruit. Seven, pineapple. Eight, honeydew.
Vision: Hypothetically speaking, what size fruit would it be at, say, hmm, twelve hours?
Dr. Nielsen: [confused] Uh, pardon? Twelve hours?
Wanda Maximoff: [brightly] Well, I think this line of questioning is 'fruitless'. [chuckles]

Vision: Huh. Strangest thing just happened outside with... [turns to see Wanda's bump has grown larger] Whoa, Nelly! Have you gotten bigger?!
Wanda Maximoff: Have I?
[Wanda turns around and knocks into a bowl of fruit with her belly. Vision moves at super-speed and catches the papaya.]
Wanda Maximoff: [continuing, looking down] I can't tell from this angle.
Vision: I can't wait... [chuckles] ...to be a proud papa-ya.

Vision: Well, if that was the first kick, that puts you at about... six months! Boy, oh, boy, I thought I had superspeed. I can't keep up! [baby talk] Please don't misinterpret; I can't wait to meet you, little Billy.
Wanda Maximoff: "Billy"?
Vision: Yeah.
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I was thinking "Tommy". Just a nice, classic, all-American name.
Vision: Hmm, "Tommy". Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Then there's "Billy", isn't there? Named after William Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage. All the men and women merely players."
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I guess there's only one solution to this debate. Hope for a girl.
Vision: Well, we ought to decide soon. I estimate the baby's due... it's not a constant progression, assumingly logarithmic, but were I to graph the fetal development thus far...
Wanda Maximoff: He's gonna be here before you figure it out.

Geraldine: Can you believe it? Twins! Hi.
Wanda Maximoff: ...I'm a twin. [forlornly] I had a brother. His name was...Pietro.
[Wanda sings to the babies is Sokovian]
Geraldine: [confused] He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?
Wanda Maximoff: ...What did you say? Just now? [a single tear rolls down Wanda's face]
Geraldine: I said...Wanda, you're such a strong lady. Should I say it one more time, for good measure?
Wanda Maximoff: No. What did you say about Pietro?
Geraldine: Pietro? [thinks] Hey, I'll take a shift rocking the babies-
Wanda Maximoff: No, I think you should leave.
Geraldine: Oh Wanda, don't be like that!
[Wanda sees the SWORD pendant on "Geraldine"]
Wanda Maximoff: What is that?
Geraldine: What?
Wanda Maximoff: [gestures to the pendant] That symbol.
Geraldine: I [stammers], I—
Wanda Maximoff: Who are you?
Geraldine: [Softly, barely audible] I don't remember
Wanda Maximoff: [Aggressively] Who are you?
Geraldine: Wanda... I...I... Wanda.
[Monica Rambeau meets Jimmy Woo on the outskirts of Westview]
Monica Rambeau: What's the story here, Agent Woo?
Jimmy Woo: Uh, I've got a witness set up down the road in Westview, and this morning, it looked like he flew the coop.
Monica Rambeau: Your missing person is in the Witness Protection Program?
Jimmy Woo: I have contacted known associates, relatives...
Monica Rambeau: And let me guess, none of them have seen him either?
Jimmy Woo: No. None of them have ever heard of him. Something seemed hanky to me, so I took the first flight out of Oakland to interface with local law enforcement, which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.
Monica Rambeau: What is that?
Jimmy Woo: [turns to the Sheriff of Eastview] Pardon me, Sheriff. Would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?
Sheriff: [with a billboard reading "Welcome to Westview" behind him] No such place.
Monica Rambeau: You're saying the town of Westview, New Jersey doesn't exist?
Sheriff: It's what I keep telling your G-Man here, but he won't listen.
Monica Rambeau: I see. And, um, I'm sorry, what ... What town are you from?
Sheriff: Eastview.
Jimmy Woo: Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out if we need any further assistance.

Jimmy Woo: This isn't a missing person's case, Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town. Population 3,892.
Monica Rambeau: Why haven't you gone inside to investigate?
Jimmy Woo: 'Cause it doesn't want me to. You can feel it, too, can't you? [They both look down the road at the Westview outskirts] Nobody's supposed to go in.

Darcy Lewis: FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office of Special Investigations out there. Research Lab. Space Command, too. A bona fide joint multi-service response. Really looking forward to the commemorative T-shirt.

Jimmy Woo: We don't know enough about the nature of the threat to send in another agent when the first is yet to return.
Tyler Hayward: Someone must really miss you back at Quantico.
Jimmy Woo: [snidely] No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.

Tyler Hayward: [regarding the WandaVision broadcast] Is it authentic?
Darcy Lewis: I'm not sure how to answer that.
Tyler Hayward: Is it happening in real time? Is it recorded, fabricated?
Darcy Lewis: I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know.
Tyler Hayward: What do you know?
Darcy Lewis: My equipment registered an extremely high level of CMBR. That's...
Tyler Hayward: Relic radiation dating back to the Big Bang.
Darcy Lewis: Yeah. Entwined was a broadcast frequency. So I had your goons pick me up a sweet vintage TV. And when I plug this bad boy in, voilà, sound and picture.
Jimmy Woo: So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?
Darcy Lewis: It's a working theory.

[Jimmy and Darcy are watching WandaVision episode 3 as Wanda gives birth.]
Darcy Lewis: [emotional] Twins. What a twist. [off Jimmy's look] What? I'm invested. [sniffles]

[Monica has broken character in front of Wanda by mentioning Pietro's death]
Wanda Maximoff: Who are you?
Monica Rambeau: [slipping out of character] I...don't remember. [Wanda steps menacingly towards Monica]
Wanda Maximoff: [in a harsh whisper] Who...are you?
Monica Rambeau: [forces a smile] Wanda, I'm just your neighbor.
Wanda Maximoff: Then how could you know about Ultron? [she conjures telekinetic energy in both of her hands] You're not my neighbor. And you're definitely not my friend. You are a stranger. An outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave. [she throws a bolt of energy at Monica, who is thrown backwards through the wall, two fences, and the Hex barrier]
Now boys, taking care of a living thing is a big responsibility.
On some level, Wanda, you know I am an ally. I want to help you.
Wanda Maximoff: [trying to comfort a crying baby Tommy] Please, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep? Mommy wants to sleep. If you go to sleep, I promise, you will be my favorite twin!
Vision: [coming down the stairs with a crying baby Billy] Oh, come on now, darling. You know we love them both equally.
Wanda Maximoff: Well, don't tell him that! [Vision chuckles] No luck with Billy?
Vision: Tried reading to him, but for some reason, Charles Darwin's The Descent of Man made him cry even harder.

[Wanda finds Tommy and Billy in the kitchen, where they're giving Sparky a makeshift bath in the sink]
Wanda Maximoff: You know, I don't miss the crying, but jeez Louise, did you have to learn to walk? You two never stay put. [Wanda narrows her eyes at the twins, suspicious at how still they're standing] ...Unless you're "innocently" forming a human wall in front of the kitchen sink. [The dog sneezes] Bless you!
Billy and Tommy Maximoff: Thank you. [the dog barks]
Wanda Maximoff: Now tell me, which one of you just barked? Scoot! [The boys step off the stools, and Wanda notices the dog] Oh, boy! Waiter, what's this canine doing in my kitchen sink?
Tommy Maximoff: The doggy paddle?
Billy Maximoff: Can we keep him, Mommy?
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I'm sure his owners miss him very much. Come on. [lifting the dog out of the sink] Huh, there really is no collar.
Billy Maximoff: Can we keep him? He was outside, crying, alone.
Wanda Maximoff: Now boys, taking care of a living thing is a big responsibility. Dogs need food, exercise, training ...[slips into baby talk] belly rubs, and cuddles, and kisses between his little ears!

[SWORD has sent a drone in to talk to Wanda]
Monica Rambeau: Wanda, this is Captain Monica Rambeau. Can you hear me? [Wanda glares up at the drone] I just want to talk. That's it. [As she watches, Wanda's eyes glow a bright red]
Tyler Hayward: No joy.
Monica Rambeau: Uh...my controls aren't working. Reconnect patch!
Tyler Hayward: [to another agent] Disregard. Take the shot.
Monica Rambeau: What? No, the drone isn't armed.
Tyler Hayward: Take the shot!
[The drone operator fires the missile. Just as quickly, the feed goes dead]
Monica Rambeau: [rips off her headset; to Hayward] What did you do?!
[An alarm goes off]
S.W.O.R.D. agent: There's a breach, sir!
[Everyone piles out of the room, gets into their cars, and drives to the spot of the breach. After several seconds of waiting, the Hex barrier flickers a few times. Wanda emerges, dragging the drone behind her as she marches towards the S.W.O.R.D. agents]
Wanda Maximoff: Is this yours?! [Wanda tosses the drone at Hayward's feet]
Tyler Hayward: The missile was just a precaution. You can hardly blame us, Wanda.
Wanda Maximoff: Oh, I think I can. This will be your only warning: Stay out of my home. You don't bother me, I won't bother you.
Tyler Hayward: I wish it could be that simple. You've taken an entire town hostage.
Wanda Maximoff: I'm not the one with the guns, Director!
Monica Rambeau: But you are the one in control.
Wanda Maximoff: [irritated] You're still here. [Wanda conjures a ball of energy in her right hand]
Monica Rambeau: Wanda, I didn't know the drones were armed. But you know that, don't you? A town full of civilians and you, a telepath, brought a S.W.O.R.D. agent into your home. You trusted me to help deliver your babies! On some level, Wanda, you know I am an ally. I want to help you.
Wanda Maximoff: How? What could you possibly have to offer me?
Monica Rambeau: What do you want?
Wanda Maximoff: I have what I want. [glares at Hayward] And no one will ever take it from me, again.

Wanda Maximoff: [about the boys' grief over Sparky's death] The urge to run from this feeling is powerful. I know.
Billy Maximoff: It's too sad.
Tommy Maximoff: You can fix anything, Mom. Fix the dead.
Wanda Maximoff: [shocked] What?.... no.
Agnes: [amazed] You can do that?
Wanda Maximoff: I am trying to tell you... that there are rules in life, okay? We can't rush aging just because it's convenient. [chuckles] And we can't reverse death. No matter how sad it makes us. Okay? Some things are forever.

[Vision decides to confront Wanda about what happened to him at work]
Vision: I spoke with Norm.
Wanda Maximoff: ...Oh?
Vision: I unearthed the man's suppressed personality and I spoke to him free of your oversight. He was in pain, Wanda.
Wanda Maximoff: Vision... [chuckles lightly] Listen, can we just--
Vision: What? Watch TV? Turn in for the night so you can change everything over again? No, Wanda. You can't control me the way you do them.
Wanda Maximoff: [meaningfully] ...Can't I? [walks out of the room as the credits start to roll] I'm going to bed!
Vision: No! We're not done here! [Wanda stops in her tracks] What is the Maximoff Anomaly?
Wanda Maximoff: The what?
Vision: I have to believe that this [gestures to the closing credits scrolling across the screen], whatever this is, was subconscious at first, and that you only recently became aware of it.
Wanda Maximoff: Aware of...what? [Wanda exits into the other room. Vision follows her, shifting back to his synthezoid form. The credits glitch out]
Vision: [angrily] Norm has a FAMILY, Wanda! He has a family and he can’t reach them because YOU WON'T LET HIM REACH THEM!
Wanda Maximoff: I don't know what you're talking about!
Vision: [levitates into the air] STOP LYING TO ME!!!
Wanda Maximoff: [levitates to match Vision] This! All of this is for us. So let me handle it!
Vision: [angered] What is outside of Westview?!
Wanda Maximoff: You don't want to know, I promise you!
Vision: YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR ME, WANDA!
Wanda Maximoff: [distressed] You've never talked to me like this before! [lowers herself back to the floor]
Vision: Before what!? Before WHAT!? I can't remember my life before Westview! I don't know who I am! I'm scared!
Wanda Maximoff: [fighting back tears] You are my husband. You're Tommy and Billy's father. Isn't that enough? [Vision lowers himself to the floor, allowing Wanda to take his hands in hers]
Vision: [glances out the window] ...Wanda, why are there no other children in Westview?
Wanda Maximoff: [scoffs] Oh, god! There are! Just stop it!
Vision: No, no. The playground stands empty every morning I walk to work. Why? Tell me, why-
Wanda Maximoff: [exasperated] Do you really think that I am controlling everything?! That I-I am somehow in charge of everybody in Westview?! I'm walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, getting them to dentist appointments on time?! I mean, I...[scoffs]...I don't know how any of this started in the first place!
Vision: Wanda, what you're doing here, it's wrong.
Wanda Maximoff: I...
Vision: It is wrong. [the doorbell rings]
Wanda Maximoff: I didn't do that. I...[seeing his look] You don't believe me.
Vision: Wanda, I want to, but at this point, I'm ignoring statistics entirely.

"Pietro": Long lost bro get to squeeze his stinkin' sister to death or what?
Worst case scenario, Wanda removes my free will and puts me in ultra-low rise jeans.
Vision: Well, you have fun tonight, darling.
Wanda Maximoff: What? What do you mean? You're all dressed and ready to go.
Vision: I'm undercover. Halloween is a bacchanal for adolescent trouble-makers, and the neighborhood watch is the only thing standing between the trees and the toilet paper.

"Pietro": Where do you keep your water balloons?
Wanda Maximoff: What? We don't have water balloons.
"Pietro": Well where are we gonna put all the shaving cream?
Wanda Maximoff: Oh?
"Pietro": It was Billy's idea!
Tommy Maximoff: I'm Tommy!
"Pietro": And don't you forget it!

Billy Maximoff: Are you old Red Riding Hood?
Wanda Maximoff: I'm a Sokovian fortune teller.
"Pietro": Wow. That is so...
Tommy Maximoff: Rad!
"Pietro": ...Lame.
Tommy Maximoff: Lame.

Darcy Lewis: Hey, there he is. The guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad.
Tyler Hayward: [regards Darcy] You work for me?
Darcy Lewis: I actually don't know.
Monica Rambeau: She's with me.
Tyler Hayward: I see. And which one of you is the sassy best friend?
Jimmy Woo: There is no time for you to diminish your colleagues when you're about to start a war you can't win.
Tyler Hayward: Maximoff was never gonna negotiate with us. We take her out, this whole nightmare ends.
Monica Rambeau: We don't know that. We actually have no idea what will happen in there or out here if Wanda dies.
Tyler Hayward: So, what? We just surrender to that? Not happening.
Monica Rambeau: We can't outgun her. And clearly antagonizing her is only making things worse. If Wanda is the problem, she has to be our solution.
Tyler Hayward: Captain Rambeau, you have become an impediment to this mission. Constantly advocating on behalf of super-powered individuals. Yes, I know your history with Carol Danvers. You know, you people who left, still have the luxury of optimism. You have no idea what it was like. What it took to keep the lights on.
Monica Rambeau: Don't use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward.
Tyler Hayward: Maybe it's a good thing you weren't here when your mother died. Because clearly you don't have the stomach for this job. [Pause] Get her off my base. Now. All of 'em.

Tommy Maximoff: Next house, Mom!
"Pietro Maximoff": Junior entrepreneur over here! How 'bout you let your Uncle Pete maximize your candy acquisition, eh?

"Pietro": So lame. I can’t believe you’re making them return all the candy.
Wanda Maximoff: I can’t believe what a bad influence you are!
"Pietro": Who beefed in your borscht?

Wanda Maximoff: You know, he was the one...he had the...he had the skin thing.
"Pietro": You're testing me!
Wanda Maximoff: No I'm not!

Darcy Lewis: You can't go back into the Hex.
Monica Rambeau: Worst case scenario, Wanda removes my free will and puts me in ultra-low rise jeans.

[Vision has temporarily released Agnes from Wanda's control and is looking for answers]
Agnes: Am I dead?
Vision: [reassuringly] No, no. Why would you think that?
Agnes: Because you are.
Vision: [confused] Because I'm what...?
Agnes: Dead. Dead! Dead! Dead!
Vision: Agnes, it is my intention to reach those outside of Westview and make sense of our situation
Agnes: [softly] How? No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it. [starts chuckling] All is lost. [starts laughing maniacally]
Vision: Agnes... Agnes please calm down. Agnes! Please... [Agnes continues laughing maniacally]
[Vision traps Agnes back in Wanda's control]
Vision: I will fix this, Agnes. I promise.
Agnes Okey-dokey neighbor. [Agnes starts to drive away] Happy Halloweenie!

Vision: [being torn apart from leaving the Hex] Help! The people need help!

"Pietro": Hey, don't sweat it, sis. It's not like your dead husband can die twice.
What I do know is I've been watching WandaVision for the past week, and the love you two have is real. You belong together.
Look, we've all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us — intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created
Wanda Maximoff: Look, we've all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us? Intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created... [cut to fleeing S.W.O.R.D agents being swallowed up by the expanding Hex, filmed in mockumentary style with percussive heavy music]

Darcy Lewis: [having had her true personality restored by Vision] Oh, hello, self. You know, part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on the show, but seriously, that sucked.

"Feeling depressed? Like the world goes on without you? Do you just want to be left alone? Ask your doctor about Nexus. A unique anti-depressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice. Side effects include feeling your feelings, confronting your truth, seizing your destiny, and possibly, more depression. You should not take Nexus unless your doctor has cleared you to move on with your life. Nexus. Because the world doesn't revolve around you. Or does it?"
  • [The Nexus commercial narration]

[Vision and Darcy are driving to Westview]
Vision: So if I understand correctly, my original code dates back to an AI called J.A.R.V.I.S.. But my corporeal form was born of Ultron's plan for global genocide?
Darcy Lewis: Correct-o
Vision: What am I now?
Darcy Lewis: Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life, but... what I don't get is why you can't leave the Hex. [Vision's expression saddens] What I do know is I've been watching WandaVision for the past week, and the love you two have is real. You belong together.

[Monica tracks down Wanda to her house in Westview]
Monica Rambeau: Wanda? Wanda!
Wanda Maximoff: What are you doing?
Monica Rambeau: Wanda-
Wanda Maximoff: How did you get in here?!
Monica Rambeau: Listen to me. This whole thing, it's about Vision-
Wanda Maximoff: [seething] Get out of my house!
Monica Rambeau: Hayward was trying to bring him b- [Wanda grabs Monica and flings her out of the house, levitating her over the sidewalk]
Wanda Maximoff: DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! THE DRONES! THE MISSILES! PIETRO! [laughs darkly]
Monica Rambeau: What, Pietro? No-no-no-no, that wasn't us!
Wanda Maximoff: [snarling] ALL YOU DO IS LIE!!! [Wanda shoves Monica into the sidewalk. Monica lands on the concrete, her eyes crackling with energy as she gets back on her feet]
Monica Rambeau: The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth!
Wanda Maximoff: [conjures energy in her hands] Careful what you say to me.
Monica Rambeau: Do it then. Take me out. [Wanda's complexion falters, horrified by the suggestion] It's easy. That's where you and Hayward differ. He's going to burn Westview to the ground just to get what he wants. Don't let him make you the villain!
Wanda Maximoff: Maybe I already am. [Agnes looks out her window, investigating the commotion]
Monica Rambeau: Wanda, you have to trust me.
Wanda Maximoff: I can't.
Monica Rambeau: I'm not afraid of you, Wanda. I lost the person closest to me, too. The worst thing I can think of has already happened to me. And I can't change it. I can't undo it. I can't control this pain anymore, and I don't think I want to, because it's my truth. [There's a pause as Wanda processes Monica's words] Wanda- [Agnes walks over]
Agnes: Young lady, I think you overstayed your welcome. Poor Wanda's been through enough.
Monica Rambeau: This doesn't concern you. [Agnes puts her hands on Wanda's shoulders]
Agnes: Oh yeah? Run along, dear. [Agnes begins steering Wanda towards her house]
Monica Rambeau: Wanda, you have to take it down!
Wanda Maximoff: [points a finger at Monica] No! Don't make me hurt you.

Agatha Harkness: Wanda, Wanda. You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you? The names Agatha Harkness, lovely to finally meet you dear.

[ from musical theme song "Agatha All Along!" ]
Agatha Harkness: And I killed Sparky, too!
Evanora Harkness: Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?
Agatha Harkness: Yes, I am a witch.
Evanora Harkness: Yet you have betrayed your coven.
Agatha Harkness: I have not!
Evanora Harkness: You stole knowledge above your age and station. You practice the darkest of magic
Agatha Harkness: I know... I know nothing about these crimes. I... I swear it.
Evanora Harkness: Enough deception!
Agatha Harkness: I did not break your rules. They simply bent to my power.
[The witches around her begin chanting in Latin]
Agatha Harkness: Wait
[Chanting continues]
Agatha Harkness: No. I cannot control it! I... If only you would teach me! Help me! Please! [To Evanora] Mother, please! Please! Mother!
[Evanora begins chanting in Latin with the rest of her coven. The rest of the coven end their chant and blast magic at Agatha]
[Agatha begins absorbing the magic blasted at her and drains the coven of their power and life force until Evanora is forced to join in and attack Agatha. Agatha pushes the coven away, by this point all of their life force has been drained and only Evanora survives]
Agatha Harkness: Please, I can be good!
Evanora Harkness: [choking up] No, you cannot.
[Evanora once more attacks Agatha with all of her power but Agatha absorbs her life force too and Evanora falls to the ground dead. Agatha walks towards her dead mother, removes her broach, and flies off into the air]

Wanda Maximoff: [With a heavy Sokovian accent] Where are my children?
Agatha Harkness: [mockingly] Where are my children? Oof! That accent really comes and goes, doesn't it?
Wanda Maximoff: Where are they? [Wanda attempts to use her powers but they don't work]
Agatha Harkness: Oh, your magic's no good here. [uses her powers to restrain Wanda mid-air] Didn't you notice? Basic protection spell, one in each wall? No? Nothing? These are runes Wanda. In a given space, only the witch that cast the runes can use her magic. How do you not know the fundamentals?

Agatha Harkness: When I sensed this place, the afterglow of so many spells cast all at once... Oh, I couldn't make heads or tails of it. [Grabs bug off the wall and begins chanting in Latin] Mind control, a classic. Quick incantation and a feeble psyche and you're good to go. [Agatha controls the bug onto Wanda's face, making her very uncomfortable] With thousands of people under your thumb, all interacting with each other according to complex storylines. Well, that's something special, baby. And of course, there's transmutation. [Chants in Latin, turning the bug into a bird] Years of study to achieve even the smallest convincing illusion. But Westview through your lens, Wanda... Every little detail in place down to the crown molding. You're even running illusions miles away at the edge of town. Magic on autopilot. What's your secret, sister? [throws the bird/bug into her pet rabbits mouth] Listen, I need you... Hey, Wanda, I need you to tell me how you did this.
Wanda Maximoff: I didn't do anything. I'm not...
[Agatha throws wanda around like rag doll]
Agatha Harkness: I tried to be gentle, to nudge you awake from this ridiculous fantasy, but you would rather fall apart than face your truth. You left me no choice. What was it you said to your not-brother? Hmm? All you could recall was the feeling. You felt empty. Alone. Endless nothingness. Let's start there. It's been fun playing pretend for a while, hasn't it, Wanda? [chants in Latin and a door appears] But it's time to look at some real reruns. [Agatha lets Wanda go] Alright, let's go.
Wanda Maximoff: No.
Agatha Harkness: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you forget who's got your children stashed away in her bewitched basement? [Wanda hears her children's cries for help and she stands up] That's right

[regarding Wanda's memory of her parents getting killed]
Agatha Harkness: Did you stop that bomb?
Wanda Maximoff: What?
Agatha Harkness: You used a probability hex.
Wanda Maximoff: No, I... It just never went off. It was... It was defective. We didn't know that. We were... We were trapped.
Agatha Harkness: For how long?
Wanda Maximoff: Two days.
Agatha Harkness: Huh. So much trauma... and yet you were safe as kittens the whole time. So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her. Doesn't explain your recent hijinks. Where did you get the big guns Wanda?
[A new door appears]
Wanda Maximoff: I don't wanna go back there.
Agatha Harkness: I know you don't, but it's good medicine, angel. The only way forward is back.
Agatha Harkness: [regarding Wanda's memory of the HYDRA lab where she gained her powers] Ah. Wanda, the rebellious years. Quick question: your reaction to the bombing of your civilian apartment building and the murder of your parents was to join an anti-freedom terrorist organization?
Wanda Maximoff: We wanted to change the world.

Agatha Harkness: So, little orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an infinity stone that amplified what, otherwise, would've died on the vine. The broken pieces of you are adding up, buttercup. I have a theory, but I need more.

[Vision finds Wanda in her bedroom at the Avengers Compound, lost in her grief over her brother's death]
Vision: Wanda, I don't presume to know what you're feeling. But I would like to know, should you wish to tell me, should that be of some comfort to you?
Wanda Maximoff: What makes you think that talking about it would bring me comfort?
Vision: Oh, see, I read that...
Wanda Maximoff: The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again. [Vision falls silent] I'm sorry. I'm so tired. [Wanda wipes tears from her eyes] It's, it's just like this wave washing over me, again and again. It knocks me down, and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I ... It's just gonna drown me.
Vision: No. No, it won't.
Wanda Maximoff: How do you know?
Vision: Well, because it can't all be sorrow, can it? I've always been alone, so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known. I've never experienced loss because I have never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?

Agatha Harkness: [Regarding the memory with Wanda and Vision together at the avengers compound and the events of Age of Ultron and Infinity War] So, to recap. Parents dead, brother dead, Vision dead. What happened when he wasn't there to pull you back from the darkness, Wanda?
Wanda Maximoff: I can't do this anymore.
Agatha Harkness: Come on, Wanda! You're on the precipice. You are right there! Tell me how you did it. [pause] Vision was gone. But you wanted him back.
Wanda Maximoff: I wanted him back. I wanted him back.
[Agatha and Wanda then enter a memory where Wanda is in the SWORD facility to reclaim Vision's corpse]

[Wanda barges into Hayward's office, seeking reclaim Vision's remains]
Tyler Hayward: Wanda Maximoff. It’s an honor to meet you. Truly.
Wanda Maximoff: Who are you?
Tyler Hayward: Director Tyler Hayward. I... understand you’re here to see the Vision, to... recover the body, that is. Is that right?
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I’m his next of kin.
Tyler Hayward: I understand. I’d like to show you something.
Wanda Maximoff: And then you’ll give him to me?
Tyler Hayward: Please, just come with me.
[He ushers Wanda over to a viewing gallery connected to his office, overlooking a lab. Down below, technicians are operating on Vision's dissected body]
Wanda Maximoff: What is this? Why are you showing me this?
Tyler Hayward: Because you asked to see it.
[Wanda steels herself to look down into the lab again. She notices Vision's limbs and head have been separated from his torso, connected only by electrical wiring. One tech begins tracing the area around the crater in his forehead where the Mind Stone resided]
Wanda Maximoff: [shuddering] Stop...stop... stop it! [turns to Hayward] What... what are you doing to him?!
Tyler Hayward: We're dismantling the most sophisticated, sentient weapon ever made.
Wanda Maximoff: Vision's not a weapon! You can't do this!
Tyler Hayward: In fact, it is our legal and ethical obligation.
Wanda Maximoff: I just want to bury him! That's all I want!
Tyler Hayward: Are you sure?
Wanda Maximoff: [bewildered] Excuse me?!
Tyler Hayward: Not everyone has the kind of power that can bring their soulmate back online. [Wanda glares at him] Forgive me, back to life.
Wanda Maximoff: Well, I can't do that. That's... that's not why I'm here!
Tyler Hayward: Okay. But I cannot allow you to take $3 billion worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground. So the best I can do is let you say goodbye to him here.
Wanda Maximoff: [fighting back tears] He's all I have!
Tyler Hayward: [coldly] Well that's just it, Wanda. He isn't yours.
[Wanda turns to the window, and shatters it, showering the lab with glass shards. She flies down to Vision's remains. Moments later, several SWORD security guards show up and train their guns on Wanda]
Tyler Hayward: Fall back. It’s fine. Let her see for herself.
[The guards lower their guns. Wanda walks over to Vision's head and tries to project energy into the crater where the Mind Stone originally resided]
Wanda Maximoff: [breaking into tears] I can't feel you. [softly] I can't feel you...

[Wanda finds Agatha holding her children hostage in the street]
Agatha Harkness: I know what you are
Billy Maximoff: Mom!
[Agatha tightens the strings around the children's throats]
Wanda Maximoff: [Panting] It's okay, baby. It's okay.
Agatha Harkness: You have no idea how dangerous you are. You're supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner.
Wanda Maximoff: Let go of my children!
Agatha Harkness: Oh, yes, your children. And Vision, and this whole little life you've made. This is Chaos Magic, Wanda, and that makes you the Scarlet Witch.
I take power from the undeserving. It's kind of my thing.
You are familiar with the thought experiment the Ship of Theseus in the field of identity metaphysics?
Agatha Harkness: I take power from the undeserving. It's kind of my thing.

Monica Rambeau: *bangs on a window* Wanda!
"Pietro": Don't waste your breath, babe! No one can hear you from in here! *strums guitar dramatically*

Monica Rambeau: What is this stuff?
"Pietro": This is my man cave. Place to chillax, you know, while the Misses' is stirring up trouble.

Monica Rambeau: Agnes doesn't live here, you do! You're... Ralph Bohner?
"Pietro"/Ralph: Bohner, hehe.

Agatha Harkness: Wanda. You've never been up against another witch before. Don't you know there's a whole chapter dedicated to you in the Darkhold? That's the book of the damned! [Agatha materializes the Darkhold] "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need of incantations."
Wanda Maximoff: I'm not a witch! I don't cast spells! NO ONE TAUGHT ME MAGIC!
Agatha Harkness: Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It's your destiny to destroy the world.
Wanda Maximoff: [throws up her arms in exasperation] I'm not what you say I am!
Agatha Harkness: Oh really?

[Wanda, Vision and their sons find themselves being ambushed by a combination of White Vision, SWORD agents, and Agatha]
Vision: Listen, boys. Your mother and I never really prepared you for this.
Wanda Maximoff: But you were born for it.

[The two Visions' battle takes them into the Westview library]
Hex Vision: Why are you doing this?
White Vision: My programming directive is to "destroy the Vision".
[Their fight progresses, until Hex Vision gets White Vision in a chokehold]
Hex Vision: But I'm not the true Vision. Only a conditional Vision.
[White Vision phases out of the chokehold. Hex Vision heats up the laser in his forehead, prepared to fire, but White Vision doesn't do the same]
White Vision: I request elaboration.
[The two Visions float around the rotunda in the center of the library]
Hex Vision: You are familiar with the thought experiment the Ship of Theseus in the field of identity metaphysics?
White Vision: Naturally. The Ship of Theseus is an artifact in a museum. Over time, its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original plank remains, is it still the Ship of Theseus?
Hex Vision: Secondly, if those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the Ship of Theseus?
White Vision: [frowns] Neither is the true ship. Both are the true ship.
Hex Vision: Well, then, we are agreed.
White Vision: But I do not have the Mind Stone.
Hex Vision: And I do not have one single ounce of original material. Perhaps, the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself.
White Vision: I have not retained memories.
Hex Vision: But you do have the data. It is merely being kept from you.
White Vision: A weapon to be more easily controlled. But, certainly, you are the true Vision, for you believe yourself to be.
Hex Vision: That was once the case. But upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion.

Agatha Harkness: About our deal, once cast a spell can never be changed. This world you made will always be broken. Just like you.

[Wanda has neutralized Agatha's magic by throwing up runes around the Hex]
Agatha Harkness: Runes?
Wanda Maximoff: "In a given space, only the witch who cast them can use her magic." Thanks for the lesson. But I don't need you to tell me who I am.

[Wanda is saying goodbye to Hex Vision]
Vision: Wanda, I know we can't stay like this. But before I go, I feel I must know: What am I?
Wanda Maximoff: You, Vision, are the piece of the Mind Stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope. And mostly you're my love.
Vision: I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human, and now a memory made real. Who knows what I might be next?
[They look out the window to see the collapsing Hex wall approaching.]
Vision: We have said goodbye to each other before, so it stands to reason--
Wanda Maximoff: We'll say hello again.
[Vision and the house slowly start to dissolve and dismantle]
Vision: So long, darling. [dissolves completely]

[Jimmy is overseeing the cleanup of Westview in the wake of Wanda's departure]
Jimmy Woo: Monica!
Monica Rambeau: Authority looks good on you, Jimmy.
Jimmy Woo: Where's Darcy?
Monica Rambeau: Ah, something about "Debriefs are for the weak."

Quotes about WandaVision

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Sorted alphabetically by author or source
  • For all its fantastical trappings, WandaVision is perhaps the Marvel project most rooted in reality. Its depictions of trauma, of grief and loss — filtered through a mystery-laden, superpower-driven plot, natch — are moving and resonant.
    Wanda built walls — a contained world, really — so she could drone out her searing pain with laugh tracks and pratfalls. Watching her slowly start to break them down has been cathartic for audiences living through a year of relentless loss.
  • Let’s put it this way: She only saw Avengers: Endgame in theaters once.
    So she didn’t think much of it when she posted what she thought was an innocuous tweet to her 800 or so followers, praising a line from Marvel’s latest hit show, WandaVision. In one scene, a character suggests to another, "But what is grief, if not love persevering?"
    When she heard it, she muttered an expletive under her breath. As both a screenwriter and a casual fan, the line struck her as a standout. "Sometimes you hear a line, and you can tell it would be remembered," she said.
    So on Saturday, intending to poke fun at her "screenwriter self," she tweeted a photo with the line as the caption, adding, "Do you hear that sound? It’s every screenwriter in the world whispering a reverent 'F---' under their breath." That evening, she went to bed, pleased with the 100 likes it received.
    Little did she know that tweet would become a symbol of the almost hyperbolic feelings the MCU inspires online — from both fans and detractors. And how the earnestness of fans of a popular, Disney-controlled product can clash with the cynicism of a place like Twitter.
    The next morning, Hatfield’s tweet had 10,000 likes.
  • Vision knows his time is almost up but before he goes he wants to know how he came to be. Wanda reveals he is part of the Mind Stone that has lived inside her since her initial contact with it. They share one last kiss and then Vision, and the house Wanda built for them, are gone. The only thing remaining is the empty plot of land that was the genesis of the emotional breakdown that led to Wanda casting such a heartbreaking spell to begin with. A spell that was doomed to fail at some point if Wanda were to reclaim her compassion and humanity. Which she did.
    So what about the controversy of WandaVision director Matt Shakman saying he was worried some fans might be "disappointed" in the finale?
    The only explanation for that is the unlimited amount of rumors and theories that WandaVision spawned online. All of which fell flat on their face.
    WandaVision put such a spell on us over these last nine weeks, the internet had many of us believing and hoping that the show was a portal to satisfying the hopes and dreams of Marvel Studios fandom.
  • The series works because it proves an important point: By telling its story in a way that reaches beyond the typical comic fan/superhero movie universe, WandaVision pulls in even those who tend to turn their noses up at capes and cowls and supervillains, while also becoming a TV-sized embodiment of all the best storytelling devices from decades of comic books.
    Talk about revenge of the nerds. WandaVision's success proves that high quality superhero storytelling is just great storytelling. Period.WandaVision has redefined what a small screen superhero series can be in an important and pioneering way.
    And this particular comic book nerd can't wait to see how Marvel's other Disney+ series — and the rest of the TV universe — builds on the ground they've broken.
  • It's unlikely that this show, with this focus, could ever have been successful without Elizabeth Olsen's indelible central performance. Asked to be a sitcom wife, a sitcom mom, a superhero, a witch, a legend, and a woman whose grief was so overwhelming that she broke the whole world, she never wavered. That's what allows her to carry off those cute, quotable Marvel lines without tearing the audience completely away from the story. (Lines like "Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back.")
    The very last scene in the finale illustrated what the show wrestled with for nine episodes: that there are two Wandas. There is the mythical, legendary, super-real Witchy Wanda, floating and glowing. There is also the deeply human, traumatized, lonely Sweatpants Wanda, drinking tea and trying to figure out what happens next now that she's alone again. Even if you don't much care about the former, Olsen's work kept the latter visible and unforgettable throughout.

Cast

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