Unprecedented families formed by sperm donor siblings have grown up at the intersection of new re... more Unprecedented families formed by sperm donor siblings have grown up at the intersection of new reproductive technologies, social media, and the human desire for belonging. As the Internet has expanded, parents (and their children) who shared the same donor have discovered that they can connect. When they meet, they wonder: What does it mean to be a donor sibling? Do shared genes make you family? Does “family” even describe our relationship? In an era in which conventional families are shrinking, the idea of connecting with genetically related strangers offers opportunities and risks. Hertz will discuss the contemporary interplay of genetics, social interaction, and culture expectations in an effort to explain the emergence of web-based donor sibling networks. Funded by the U.S. National Science Foundation, her talk is based upon over 350 interviews with donor-conceived children, their parents and donors from her co-authored book, Random Families.
The members of the Tourists are not really sure what they are looking for when they connect with ... more The members of the Tourists are not really sure what they are looking for when they connect with other people to whom they are connected by reliance on the same sperm donor. The mere existence of donor siblings is a novelty to the members of this network, but like tourists who are only curious about the sites in a different land, a brief visit with the others suffices. Interestingly, the donor makes himself known to this network, but he too is a tourist who sets clear limits on what he has to offer the children born from his sperm donation. The Facebook group and holiday cards sent within the network are reminders of membership, but there is little other interaction. Born between 1994 and 2001, the kids interviewed are between sixteen and nineteen years old.
This chapter describes how children respond to learning that they have donor siblings. Children w... more This chapter describes how children respond to learning that they have donor siblings. Children who learn about donor siblings when they are in middle school are more likely to be surprised than those who learn about them as younger children. The chapter also describes how they react to meeting them. One consequence of meeting donor siblings is that children come to believe that traits they share with others might have their origins in the genetic material inherited from an unknown donor. The chapter discusses differences between boys and girls in learning about donor siblings and how children differentiate between their understanding of the meaning of donor siblings and their understanding of the significance of siblings who live with them.
The same-sex couples highlighted in this narrative are members of the “families of choice” cohort... more The same-sex couples highlighted in this narrative are members of the “families of choice” cohorts that arose during the 1980s. Although they were establishing a new family form, the mothers in a two-mother family told their child that he had a sperm donor “father” whom he could meet when he turned eighteen. When the meeting occurred, the two formed a limited father-child bond. The donor provides emotional support, but he does not offer any material support. When other offspring from the same donor contact him, the donor introduced the donor siblings to each other. The members of this network reconsider ideas about the relative influence of nature and nurture. Yet ideas about chosen families remain central to the manner in which the members relate to one another. Born between 1986 and 1990, the kids in this network were between twenty-four and twenty-eight years old at the time of the interviews.
This chapter introduces the members of the 7008er network at the occasion of a significant gather... more This chapter introduces the members of the 7008er network at the occasion of a significant gathering, when seven families with children born from the same sperm donor come together at a hotel in the Midwest. From the beginning, the children in this network seek to construct themselves as a family. Love, trust, and harmony serve as guideposts in the unscripted land of donor-linked families. They also use structures they know from traditional families, such as a sibling pecking order. As the group expands to incorporate new members, the original narrative of family membership fails to describe the reality of competing allegiances among teenagers. Instead of remaining a coherent group, the members of this network break into a number of separate factions. Born between 1995 and 2001, the kids interviewed are between fifteen and nineteen years old.
This chapter looks across the five featured networks that span thirty years. It opens with a disc... more This chapter looks across the five featured networks that span thirty years. It opens with a discussion of the historical moments in network creation and the different developmental ages of the children in these networks. The chapter highlights aspects that vary over time, such as parents’ reasons for connecting, naming conventions, and uses of technology. It then turns to an examination of the kinds of interactions within the networks (e.g., transactional and generative) and also the importance of trust and validation that participants can find in the networks. It also discusses the complex consequences network participation holds for its members within all networks. Interpersonal dynamics emerge separately among the children and their parents. Mothers and girl children are more likely to maintain each network. Further, since network membership is never fully known, attempts by the kids to establish a social order and to develop close ties are always shifting and evolving. The chap...
Chapter 1 describes how parents choose a sperm donor with which to conceive a child. It shows tha... more Chapter 1 describes how parents choose a sperm donor with which to conceive a child. It shows that all parents take into account a similar range of factors as they select from among the available donor profiles. Parents choose donors with traits they believe will secure advantage for their children; they also choose donors with traits they believe fit well with the families they are creating. They choose among the types of donors available, including known donors, anonymous donors, and identity-release donors. The choices made before conception enable intending parents to express their taste and values and through that expression to make the child their own. All of the parents interviewed disclosed donor conception to their children. Both the variety of types of donors and the variety of information about individual donors have increased over time in response to consumer preferences.
The parents in the Social Capitalist network introduce a set of new ideas about the meaning of re... more The parents in the Social Capitalist network introduce a set of new ideas about the meaning of relationships with donor siblings. Rather than trying to squeeze themselves into any preexisting model of family, they actively negotiate their own rules for interaction and for language (including use of the word “dibling”). They also introduce a set of new ideas about the benefits the group can provide. They state quite clearly that they value the social and cultural capital available through group membership. The parents scurry to become members early (while their children are under the age of five) because they want both to influence the group’s formation and to secure the benefits they hope their children will receive in years to come. Because the children are so young, we hear only from the parents.
This chapter describes how children begin to understand the meaning of donor conception to make s... more This chapter describes how children begin to understand the meaning of donor conception to make sense of the hollow concept of a donor. It explores how children of different ages imagine the sperm donor. Sex education in schools and conversations with other children become factors in their understanding. As children invent the donor from the bits and pieces of information available, they also try to figure out which parts of themselves came from the donor; they thus invent the self. Siblings who live in the same home can help children figure out who the donor is and what he has contributed. During adolescence children use the donor to help in the processes of separation and self-assessment. The chapter considers the following questions: How do children go beyond a birth narrative to understand themselves? How do their parents help them understand that some aspects of the self might come from a stranger?
This chapter describes how parents use the number assigned to the donor to begin locating others ... more This chapter describes how parents use the number assigned to the donor to begin locating others who purchased vials from the same donor. It explains the steps parents make to form connections with others: signing up on a registry at a bank or an independent registry; providing information allowing someone else to make contact; reaching out to someone who has left identifying information; creating or joining an existing Facebook group; participating actively by making posts or commenting on the posts of others; engaging in private communications with network members (e.g., by text or phone); and meeting others in person once or more. The chapter discusses the motivations parents have for making this contact and the strategies they develop to cope with the experience of being pioneers in a land populated by genetic strangers. It also discusses serendipitous encounters among parents who have relied on the same donor.
... And Page 186. Rosanna Hertz 167 Sophie found this affirmation in her new knowledge that the d... more ... And Page 186. Rosanna Hertz 167 Sophie found this affirmation in her new knowledge that the donor siblings were also" bright" children. ... Page 190. Rosanna Hertz 171 So far Sophie's decisions are in line with the needs and desires of the others involved. ...
This chapter introduces the concept of networks of strangers linked by reliance on the same sperm... more This chapter introduces the concept of networks of strangers linked by reliance on the same sperm donor. It draws on participants’ use of the language of genes and the language of choice to explain how these networks develop. Because the relationships within these networks are unprecedented, the members have to decide for themselves naming conventions and social norms. The introduction suggests the importance of these relationships at a time when family size is shrinking. It includes a discussion of research methods, describing how the authors located respondents and the characteristics of respondents (212 parents and 154 donor-conceived children). It also explains how the authors chose to feature particular networks that reflected different eras, different age groups of children, and different internal dynamics.
Donor-conceived (DC) offspring raised in lesbian-parent and heterosexualparent families have diff... more Donor-conceived (DC) offspring raised in lesbian-parent and heterosexualparent families have different historical chronologies, which are clusters of events that provide frameworks for shaping contemporary views of
This study explores the attitudes and experiences of 57 sperm donors who responded to a survey po... more This study explores the attitudes and experiences of 57 sperm donors who responded to a survey posted online in the United States and indicated that they had had contact with their donor-conceived offspring or the parents of their donor-conceived offspring. On average, 18 years had elapsed since the respondents donated sperm. In the interim between donating and having contact with offspring, most had become curious about their offspring. Most made contact through a bank or online registry. Most respondents had communicated with at least one offspring at least once and most had exchanged photos with offspring. Approximately two-thirds had met in person once; the same proportion had communicated over email or text. Other forms of communication were less common. Almost half of the respondents now considered their donor-conceived offspring to be like a family member. At the same time, donors are respectful of the integrity of the family in which their offspring were raised. Donors with ...
This paper compares two populations with respect to attitudes toward the regulation of reproducti... more This paper compares two populations with respect to attitudes toward the regulation of reproductive care by the European Union. The two populations are 252 individuals who crossed a national border to receive treatment at an independent clinic in Spain and 45 Spanish citizens who received treatment in their home country. Online surveys were sent to former patients (from many different countries) of a private Spanish clinic. By comparing those who engaged in cross-border reproductive care (CBRC) with those who did not, we examined attitudes toward whether or not the EU should extend to all clients in all countries the type of services the clinic provided. These services included access to anonymous donors and conception via egg or embryo donation. We found that those who travelled abroad were less in favor of EU expanding regulation for the type of services they received than were those in Spain. This study is unusual in focusing on political attitudes rather than the nature of the e...
This is a book about unprecedented families—networks of strangers linked by genes, medical techno... more This is a book about unprecedented families—networks of strangers linked by genes, medical technology, and the human desire for affinity and identity. It chronicles the chain of choices that couples and single mothers make—how to conceive, how to place sperm donors in their family tree, and what to do when it suddenly becomes clear that there are children out there that share half their child’s DNA. Do shared genes make you family? Do children find anything in common? What becomes of the random networks that arise once the members of the families of donor siblings find one another? Based on over 350 interviews with children and parents from all over the United States, Hertz and Nelson explore what it means to children to be a donor sibling and what it’s like to be a parent who discovers four, six, or even a dozen children who share half the DNA of one’s own child. At the heart of their investigation are remarkable relationships woven from tenuous bits of information and fueled by in...
Unprecedented families formed by sperm donor siblings have grown up at the intersection of new re... more Unprecedented families formed by sperm donor siblings have grown up at the intersection of new reproductive technologies, social media, and the human desire for belonging. As the Internet has expanded, parents (and their children) who shared the same donor have discovered that they can connect. When they meet, they wonder: What does it mean to be a donor sibling? Do shared genes make you family? Does “family” even describe our relationship? In an era in which conventional families are shrinking, the idea of connecting with genetically related strangers offers opportunities and risks. Hertz will discuss the contemporary interplay of genetics, social interaction, and culture expectations in an effort to explain the emergence of web-based donor sibling networks. Funded by the U.S. National Science Foundation, her talk is based upon over 350 interviews with donor-conceived children, their parents and donors from her co-authored book, Random Families.
The members of the Tourists are not really sure what they are looking for when they connect with ... more The members of the Tourists are not really sure what they are looking for when they connect with other people to whom they are connected by reliance on the same sperm donor. The mere existence of donor siblings is a novelty to the members of this network, but like tourists who are only curious about the sites in a different land, a brief visit with the others suffices. Interestingly, the donor makes himself known to this network, but he too is a tourist who sets clear limits on what he has to offer the children born from his sperm donation. The Facebook group and holiday cards sent within the network are reminders of membership, but there is little other interaction. Born between 1994 and 2001, the kids interviewed are between sixteen and nineteen years old.
This chapter describes how children respond to learning that they have donor siblings. Children w... more This chapter describes how children respond to learning that they have donor siblings. Children who learn about donor siblings when they are in middle school are more likely to be surprised than those who learn about them as younger children. The chapter also describes how they react to meeting them. One consequence of meeting donor siblings is that children come to believe that traits they share with others might have their origins in the genetic material inherited from an unknown donor. The chapter discusses differences between boys and girls in learning about donor siblings and how children differentiate between their understanding of the meaning of donor siblings and their understanding of the significance of siblings who live with them.
The same-sex couples highlighted in this narrative are members of the “families of choice” cohort... more The same-sex couples highlighted in this narrative are members of the “families of choice” cohorts that arose during the 1980s. Although they were establishing a new family form, the mothers in a two-mother family told their child that he had a sperm donor “father” whom he could meet when he turned eighteen. When the meeting occurred, the two formed a limited father-child bond. The donor provides emotional support, but he does not offer any material support. When other offspring from the same donor contact him, the donor introduced the donor siblings to each other. The members of this network reconsider ideas about the relative influence of nature and nurture. Yet ideas about chosen families remain central to the manner in which the members relate to one another. Born between 1986 and 1990, the kids in this network were between twenty-four and twenty-eight years old at the time of the interviews.
This chapter introduces the members of the 7008er network at the occasion of a significant gather... more This chapter introduces the members of the 7008er network at the occasion of a significant gathering, when seven families with children born from the same sperm donor come together at a hotel in the Midwest. From the beginning, the children in this network seek to construct themselves as a family. Love, trust, and harmony serve as guideposts in the unscripted land of donor-linked families. They also use structures they know from traditional families, such as a sibling pecking order. As the group expands to incorporate new members, the original narrative of family membership fails to describe the reality of competing allegiances among teenagers. Instead of remaining a coherent group, the members of this network break into a number of separate factions. Born between 1995 and 2001, the kids interviewed are between fifteen and nineteen years old.
This chapter looks across the five featured networks that span thirty years. It opens with a disc... more This chapter looks across the five featured networks that span thirty years. It opens with a discussion of the historical moments in network creation and the different developmental ages of the children in these networks. The chapter highlights aspects that vary over time, such as parents’ reasons for connecting, naming conventions, and uses of technology. It then turns to an examination of the kinds of interactions within the networks (e.g., transactional and generative) and also the importance of trust and validation that participants can find in the networks. It also discusses the complex consequences network participation holds for its members within all networks. Interpersonal dynamics emerge separately among the children and their parents. Mothers and girl children are more likely to maintain each network. Further, since network membership is never fully known, attempts by the kids to establish a social order and to develop close ties are always shifting and evolving. The chap...
Chapter 1 describes how parents choose a sperm donor with which to conceive a child. It shows tha... more Chapter 1 describes how parents choose a sperm donor with which to conceive a child. It shows that all parents take into account a similar range of factors as they select from among the available donor profiles. Parents choose donors with traits they believe will secure advantage for their children; they also choose donors with traits they believe fit well with the families they are creating. They choose among the types of donors available, including known donors, anonymous donors, and identity-release donors. The choices made before conception enable intending parents to express their taste and values and through that expression to make the child their own. All of the parents interviewed disclosed donor conception to their children. Both the variety of types of donors and the variety of information about individual donors have increased over time in response to consumer preferences.
The parents in the Social Capitalist network introduce a set of new ideas about the meaning of re... more The parents in the Social Capitalist network introduce a set of new ideas about the meaning of relationships with donor siblings. Rather than trying to squeeze themselves into any preexisting model of family, they actively negotiate their own rules for interaction and for language (including use of the word “dibling”). They also introduce a set of new ideas about the benefits the group can provide. They state quite clearly that they value the social and cultural capital available through group membership. The parents scurry to become members early (while their children are under the age of five) because they want both to influence the group’s formation and to secure the benefits they hope their children will receive in years to come. Because the children are so young, we hear only from the parents.
This chapter describes how children begin to understand the meaning of donor conception to make s... more This chapter describes how children begin to understand the meaning of donor conception to make sense of the hollow concept of a donor. It explores how children of different ages imagine the sperm donor. Sex education in schools and conversations with other children become factors in their understanding. As children invent the donor from the bits and pieces of information available, they also try to figure out which parts of themselves came from the donor; they thus invent the self. Siblings who live in the same home can help children figure out who the donor is and what he has contributed. During adolescence children use the donor to help in the processes of separation and self-assessment. The chapter considers the following questions: How do children go beyond a birth narrative to understand themselves? How do their parents help them understand that some aspects of the self might come from a stranger?
This chapter describes how parents use the number assigned to the donor to begin locating others ... more This chapter describes how parents use the number assigned to the donor to begin locating others who purchased vials from the same donor. It explains the steps parents make to form connections with others: signing up on a registry at a bank or an independent registry; providing information allowing someone else to make contact; reaching out to someone who has left identifying information; creating or joining an existing Facebook group; participating actively by making posts or commenting on the posts of others; engaging in private communications with network members (e.g., by text or phone); and meeting others in person once or more. The chapter discusses the motivations parents have for making this contact and the strategies they develop to cope with the experience of being pioneers in a land populated by genetic strangers. It also discusses serendipitous encounters among parents who have relied on the same donor.
... And Page 186. Rosanna Hertz 167 Sophie found this affirmation in her new knowledge that the d... more ... And Page 186. Rosanna Hertz 167 Sophie found this affirmation in her new knowledge that the donor siblings were also" bright" children. ... Page 190. Rosanna Hertz 171 So far Sophie's decisions are in line with the needs and desires of the others involved. ...
This chapter introduces the concept of networks of strangers linked by reliance on the same sperm... more This chapter introduces the concept of networks of strangers linked by reliance on the same sperm donor. It draws on participants’ use of the language of genes and the language of choice to explain how these networks develop. Because the relationships within these networks are unprecedented, the members have to decide for themselves naming conventions and social norms. The introduction suggests the importance of these relationships at a time when family size is shrinking. It includes a discussion of research methods, describing how the authors located respondents and the characteristics of respondents (212 parents and 154 donor-conceived children). It also explains how the authors chose to feature particular networks that reflected different eras, different age groups of children, and different internal dynamics.
Donor-conceived (DC) offspring raised in lesbian-parent and heterosexualparent families have diff... more Donor-conceived (DC) offspring raised in lesbian-parent and heterosexualparent families have different historical chronologies, which are clusters of events that provide frameworks for shaping contemporary views of
This study explores the attitudes and experiences of 57 sperm donors who responded to a survey po... more This study explores the attitudes and experiences of 57 sperm donors who responded to a survey posted online in the United States and indicated that they had had contact with their donor-conceived offspring or the parents of their donor-conceived offspring. On average, 18 years had elapsed since the respondents donated sperm. In the interim between donating and having contact with offspring, most had become curious about their offspring. Most made contact through a bank or online registry. Most respondents had communicated with at least one offspring at least once and most had exchanged photos with offspring. Approximately two-thirds had met in person once; the same proportion had communicated over email or text. Other forms of communication were less common. Almost half of the respondents now considered their donor-conceived offspring to be like a family member. At the same time, donors are respectful of the integrity of the family in which their offspring were raised. Donors with ...
This paper compares two populations with respect to attitudes toward the regulation of reproducti... more This paper compares two populations with respect to attitudes toward the regulation of reproductive care by the European Union. The two populations are 252 individuals who crossed a national border to receive treatment at an independent clinic in Spain and 45 Spanish citizens who received treatment in their home country. Online surveys were sent to former patients (from many different countries) of a private Spanish clinic. By comparing those who engaged in cross-border reproductive care (CBRC) with those who did not, we examined attitudes toward whether or not the EU should extend to all clients in all countries the type of services the clinic provided. These services included access to anonymous donors and conception via egg or embryo donation. We found that those who travelled abroad were less in favor of EU expanding regulation for the type of services they received than were those in Spain. This study is unusual in focusing on political attitudes rather than the nature of the e...
This is a book about unprecedented families—networks of strangers linked by genes, medical techno... more This is a book about unprecedented families—networks of strangers linked by genes, medical technology, and the human desire for affinity and identity. It chronicles the chain of choices that couples and single mothers make—how to conceive, how to place sperm donors in their family tree, and what to do when it suddenly becomes clear that there are children out there that share half their child’s DNA. Do shared genes make you family? Do children find anything in common? What becomes of the random networks that arise once the members of the families of donor siblings find one another? Based on over 350 interviews with children and parents from all over the United States, Hertz and Nelson explore what it means to children to be a donor sibling and what it’s like to be a parent who discovers four, six, or even a dozen children who share half the DNA of one’s own child. At the heart of their investigation are remarkable relationships woven from tenuous bits of information and fueled by in...
One of the most pervasive aspects of the "Cultural war" (Hunter 1991; Wolfe 1993) over ... more One of the most pervasive aspects of the "Cultural war" (Hunter 1991; Wolfe 1993) over family life in the 1990s and next century is over the raising of children. Daycare versus care within the family for children under school age is one highly contested aspect of this battle. Because of ideological conflicts, especially over family forms and family norms (Hartmann and Spalter-Roth 1994),and because of the history and politics of attempted family policy, there is no recognizable or coherent "proactive" family policy in the United States (Pleck 1992) but only a regulatory function unevenly present and enforced (Maynard and McGiniss 1992). In the absence of policy-making in the United States and societal agreement that would legitimate access to a variety of types of non-family care for young children, couples are forced to make individual, complex, time-consuming decisions. As a result, and with trepidation, couples rely on community and extended family to inform and legitimate their decisions. Each couple alone comes to terms with integrating two jobs and the presence of young children in the household. Ideology in the U.S leads us to expect that we are constantly exercising free-will and that we are "agents" acting on our preferences. This paper will demonstrate that decision-making is as much influenced by constraint as by choice. Unlike all other industrialized countries (cf. Moen. 1989; Hartmann and Spalter-Roth 1994), the U.S does not provide either universal subsidized childcare (except Headstart) at any age or paid and extended parental leave. By contrast, in European countries, between 73% and 95% of children, aged three to five, are in publicly funded daycare. Even in these countries, care for children under age three is largely not subsidized and pieced together. Parents use a combination of some subsidized in-home care, cooperative arrangements among families, family daycare, and center-based care for infants. The overall absence of direct childcare subsidy for infants and young toddlers is mitigated somewhat by generous parental leave policies which allow the mother or father to remain home with the child during infancy without loss of income. For example, in Sweden most children under the age of nine months have one parent at home, which is made possible by State mandated policies (Ferber and O' Farrell 1991).' Despite ideological controversy in the U.S. over who should raise the next generation of children, mothers of young children remain in the work force in dramatically large numbers (Hayes et al. 1990). Thus, daycare is a reality for most U.S. families regardless of social class (Hayes et al. 1990; Pleck 1992). Because childcare is largely not subsidized in the United States, besides rent or mortgage payments, childcare is the single largest cost couples have. However, cost is not commonly the most important factor in choices about childcare. In this study reported below, we found that childcare decisions were embedded in implicit family sentiments. We discuss changing family practices and views of motherhood, the factors couples consider in the selection of childcare arrangements, the meaning of altering the mother's role and replacing her. Then, we turn to an examination of various consequences of workplace constraints and the strategies couples develop in order to participate in daily childcare. These concerns are also addressed by the kinds of childcare options from which parents can choose. The broad range of types of childcare are represented by the couples in this study: including live-in or live-out care providers (nannies or persons who are not relatives), relatives, family daycare (based in the provider's home), center-based daycare (which include centers opened from 7 to 6.30 five days a week and centers which have more restricted hours). Additionally, most families supplement their primary arrangement with other adults who provide either "back-up care" when a child is sick, or occupy transitional hours from primary childcare arrangements to home. …
Uploads
Book chapters by Rosanna Hertz
Papers by Rosanna Hertz