PARADOXES ARE OKAY, BUT CONTRADICTIONS NOT OKAY DR. JOHN MOHAN RAZU In a short column appeared recently in “The Times of India” titled Life can be full of paradoxes … But say ‘no’ to contradictions by Devi Kar is filled with nuances that happens in us and in our lives. So, profound that she goes deeply and pushes us to re-examine. This short piece pushed me to reflect and write. She starts with a challenging statement that “Perhaps we don’t realize that not only do we have many unnecessary contradictions in our lives, but also instill contradictions and consequently confusion, in the lives of those we nurture.” She tacitly says that as we move on in life, we ought to reduce contradictions, and not vice-versa. She offers simple examples employing daily usages such as: “Too many cooks spoil the broth” vs “Many hands make “light work”; another example of “wise men think alike” and “Fools seldom differ”. Though they are true, but subscribes differing and contrasting thoughts, except the context ought to be kept in mind in which they are uttered. Likewise, usually it is pointed out by children which also applies to adults that “we are not old enough” to do a particular thing, and the next moment we are told that we are no longer children. and so, shouldn’t behave in an immature manner. She unfolds the contradictions the usages that we employ in our lives. Children as well as adults gets confused because they do not posit logicality and clarity and so it is important to clarify what we utter and the stand we take. We should explain that they are certain activities they can get involved and not others. Another question that follows is: who will judge their actions? It is they who are responsible for their words and actions. Parents and those who work in different vocations should keep in their minds that what they say and utter and to whom play important roles. She then goes on to the public arena especially in the wake of suicides due to examinations. She says that “Every student must be assured that performance in an examination does not in any way define her or him as a person. Yet there is so much fanfare over “toppers” that sensitive children are emotionally scarred for life.” Parents especially along with the teachers usually get into “exam mode” well in advance and in the name of examination all other cocurricular and extra-curricular activities are put on hold. In addition, relating books not related to their syllabi is considered as waste of time. A young mother asked Devi Kar whether our school focused more on “education” or on sports. We in general tend to think in ‘silos’, but not something broader in scope. Therefore, education is not just examination, but much broader and integrative – not just dumping knowledge While concluding she says that “Life is full of paradoxes but they contain elements of truth, whereas a contradiction is totally false. Political leaders regularly promise all kinds of positive reforms and then fail to carry them out, this is certainly a contradiction. But if someone says that sometimes “you have to be cruel to be kind” – it is a paradox. We need to understand that there are many paradoxes in life that one has to deal with but we cannot – must not – accept contradictions.” What she infers by that is walk the talk and do not become a bundle of contradiction. We should reduce our contradictions in our life and vocations, especially while dealing with children and grandchildren.