Never-Married Singles

Happy Singlehood charts a way forward for singles to live life on their terms, and shows how everyone--single or coupled--can benefit from accepting solo living. Based on personal interviews, quantitative analysis, and extensive review of singles' writings and literature, author Elyakim Kislev uncovers groundbreaking insights on how unmarried people create satisfying lives in a world where social structures and policies are still designed to favor marriage. In this carefully crafted book, Kislev investigates how singles nurture social networks, create innovative communities, and effectively deal with discrimination. Happy Singlehood challenges readers to rethink how single people organize social and familial ties in new ways, and illuminates how educators, policymakers, and urban planners should cater to their needs.

이 글은 비혼의 이유를 결혼하지 않은 이들이 살면서 이미 체득한 문화적 레퍼토리에서 찾고, 이들이 갖고 있는 문화적 레퍼토리를 통해 바라본 결혼과 가족의 의미를 살펴보고자 한다. 이를 위해 결혼할 의사가 없다고 밝힌 대졸 학력 이상의 고학력자 10명을 심층 인터뷰 하였다. 비혼을 선택한 이들이 결혼제도와 가족에 갖고 있는 이미지는 탈규범적이기보단 전통적인 것에 가까웠다. 결혼제도는 친밀성과 섹슈얼리티를 규제하는 제도이자, 개인을 억압하고 희생을 요구하는 제도로 파악되고 있었다. 비규범적 행동과 규범적 가치관이라는 엇갈림은 가족에 대한 문화적 레퍼토리는 원가족과 결혼에 대한 비판적 담론을 통해 형성한 반면 자신의 삶을 기획하는 레퍼토리는 개인화된 문화에서 차용하는 이중의 구도 속에서 등장한 것이다. 비혼을 지탱하는 것은 결혼제도에 대한 반발이라기보다는 지속해온 삶의 방향성이 결혼제도를 필요로 하지 않기 때문이다. 결혼제도의 유연화와 친밀성 실천의 변화, 평등한 젠더관계에 대한 추구, 신자유주의 경제질서 속에서 내면화된 불안이라는 복합적 요인 속에서 결혼은 강제적이고 의무적이라는 프레임과 비혼은 선택이라는 프레임이 대비되어 나타난다. 비혼이라는 행위를 지원하고 의미를 부여하는 문화적 규범이 존재 한다는 것은 비혼이 임시적이거나 예외적 상태가 아닌 독자적인 위치를 갖는 삶의 양식임을 보여준다. 이는 비혼, 만혼 등 결혼규범이 느슨해지는 와중에도 결혼제도가 그 영향력을 유지하는 모순된 상황에 대한 설명을 제시한다.


This article explores cultural repertoires of Koreans who don’t want to get married to
analyze the how people choose and maintain single life. The meaning of marriage and family has been examined through the cultural lens of the unmarried. It draws on in-depth interviews with 10 highly educated, unmarried people mostly in their 30’s. Although not following the normative marriage patterns, they have traditional images of marriage which regulate sexuality and intimacy and demand sacrifices of the self. This twist comes from the situation that they adopt family repertoires from their family of the origin while most of the life strategies are aligned to the competitive labor market. Not refusing to marriage, but keeping own lifestyle is the most important force for the unmarried. Under the changes in family and intimacy practices, the pursuit of gender equality, and internalized insecurity, marriage appealed to the young Koreans as a ‘compulsory duty’ whereas not-marrying appealed as a ‘choice’. Given the existence of cultural norms which accords meaning the single life, unmarried life should be acknowledged as one of the life stages, not a temporal or exceptional
status. The existence of two conflicting cultural frames suggests the clue that how the
marriage can be de-institutionalized while exercising its influence at the same time.

What does the single life look like and does it have anything in common with what the media show? This question has caused much discussion on the Internet, in TV debates, in the press and on the radio. This book explores the issue of singles in big cities, their lifestyle and reasons for “flying solo". Singles talk about their expectations towards their potential partners and their idea of a great love. They share their thoughts on relationships. They also talk about the importance of having a professional career in their life, their passions, and about the advantages and disadvantages of being single. The book presents the similarities and differences between the singles, and explains why some of them are called "all-or-nothing" while others are called "accustomed" or "romantic".

The current study compared perceived stress among married and single individuals across a variety of life domains in order to understand (1) the relationship between marital status and psychosocial mechanisms of stress and (2) the degree to which stress experienced in different domains is associated with other health problems (i.e., anxiety). Using survey data from a large national U.S. sample (N = 6,955), we used multiple regression and mediation analyses to investigate the role of marital status on perceived stress associated with social commitments, family commitments, loneliness, and economy/money; and we examined how these domain-specific stressors influenced daily self-reported anxiety. Marital status was a significant predictor of perceived stress: singlehood was positively correlated with perceived stress, specifically the stresses associated with social commitments, loneliness, and economy/money. These domain-specific stressors also mediated the relationship between marital status and anxiety. The findings suggest that marital status can lead to differential exposure to stressors and risks for mental health problems. We concluded that marital status can have important implications for social behavior, health, and well-being, and its effects on stress should be further investigated to reduce negative health outcomes for the growing demographic group of singles in the U.S.

The text is about practices in the field of sexuality of single adults of urban middle class, living alone in Salvador, based on data constructed in the thesis study on the subject of singleness at PPGNEIM / UFBA. Based on a feminist epistemology and having gender as the main category adopted for data analysis, the study used mixed methods, with 3 focus groups where 7 people participated, structured questionnaire applied to 76 people, biographical interviews with 6 people and field observations in leisure spaces in Salvador. The participants of the research were people of both sexes, straight, homosexual and bisexual, with ages varying between 30 and 60 years (mean 38.9). The study collaborated to give visibility to practices in the field of single people´s sexuality, discussing the possibilities and limitations found by single men and women in Salvador, and reflecting on the gender issues implied in these practices.

In light of the growing unmarried demographic, this study analyzed the extent and determinants of sexual satisfaction among seven relationship-status groups: married, never married, and those who are divorced/separated, where the latter two groups are further divided into single, living apart together (LAT), and cohabiting. In addition, the study measured the levels of sexual self-esteem, sexual communication, and sex frequency for the different relationship-status groups as predictors of sexual satisfaction. Finally, this study also analyzed sexual satisfaction while accounting for overall life satisfaction. Using the ninth wave of the Pairfam data set and analyzing the responses of 3,207 respondents in total, this study suggests that marriage is not a determinant for sexual satisfaction. In fact, it can even be a negative correlate when married respondents are compared to certain unmarried groups. The only exception is that of unmarried individuals who currently have no partner. Even this situation is shown to be dependent only on less frequent intercourse, not on a lack of sexual self-esteem and sexual communication. These conclusions challenge previous research as well as the explanations of earlier scholars. Several directions for future research are discussed in light of these findings.

Background: Previous studies depicted a recent drastic reduction in sexual activity in tandem with the rise of the Second Demographic Transition (SDT). However, very little attention has been paid to the questions of whether and how these processes are connected and how they play out in measuring sexual satisfaction among the diverse population of single people. Method: Therefore, the current research focused on exploring this relation among the groups of never-married singles and divorced singles, further divided into men and women (N = 5944) and compared with married people (N=18,733). Data were drawn from the Panel Analysis of Intimate Relationships and Family Dynamics (Pairfam) study. Results: The results of this study indicated that voluntary singlehood positively correlates with sexual satisfaction among all four groups. Moreover, voluntary singlehood among women of both groups negatively correlates with sex frequency, desired sex frequency, and pornography usage, while among men voluntary singlehood negatively correlates with desired sex frequency. Conclusions: These results indicate that within the second demographic transition, voluntary singles are generally more sexually satisfied, and this is not associated with having more casual sex, but rather with desiring less sex and, among women, with being less sexually active relatively to involuntary single women.

The aim of this chapter is to answer the question: Do Polish singles feel stigmatized at work? The feeling of stigmatization was evaluated with authors’ reliable measurement “The Feelings of Stigmatization of Singles Questionnaire ”. There was also used Rosenberg’s Self-Esteem Scale SES. The study was carried out in a group of 852 participants – never married, childless, over 30 years old (Mage = 36) single women  (N = 464) and men (N = 388). 
The results revealed partial feeling of stigmatization at work among never-married singles. The most exposed to feelings of stigmatization were singles who: have never been in a long-term relationship, remain single over two years, had primary education, were over 35 years old, didn’t choose being single, and had lower self-esteem. The most relevant feelings of stigmatization predictors, among never-married singles, were: lower self-esteem, lack of previous long-term relations and increasing age. There were no significant differences in the feelings of stigmatization at work between single men and women.