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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
“An extraordinary accomplishment.... A remarkable book that will be of great value to people who feel isolated, alienated and overwhelmed by the circumstances of their lives.” --Hubert Selby, Jr., author of Last Exit to Brooklyn
“[Stahl] is a better-than-Burroughs virtuoso.” --Thomas Mallon, The New Yorker
“Original, appalling, indelible picture of a man trying to swim and drown at the same time. Stahl has nerve, heart, a language of his own and a ghastly, riotous humor.” --Tobias Wolff, author of This Boy’s Life
“Permanent Midnight is one of the most harrowing and toughest accounts ever written in this century about what it means to be a junkie in America, making Burroughs look dated and Kerouac appear as the nose-thumbing adolescent he was.” --Booklist
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety.
Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Story
At the age of 24, Jordan Barnes woke up next to a lifeless body, rifled through his dead friends’ pockets for any remaining heroin, and went right back to using. Strung out and homeless during the supposed best years of his life, there was no clear way out of the opioid crisis ravaging the streets of Portland, Oregon. But though Jordan had long accepted his fate, his parents still held out hope and would do everything in their power to get him the help he so desperately needed.
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thank you
- By Melanie Alexandra on 03-05-21
By: Jordan P. Barnes
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Tweakerworld
- A Memoir
- By: Jason Yamas
- Narrated by: Jason Yamas
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.
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Exhausting
- By Thom Pierson on 03-09-23
By: Jason Yamas
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Tweak
- Growing Up on Methamphetamines
- By: Nic Sheff
- Narrated by: Paul Michael Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
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Painful Journey
- By David on 11-15-10
By: Nic Sheff
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Strung Out
- One Last Hit and Other Lies That Nearly Killed Me
- By: Erin Khar
- Narrated by: Jayme Mattler
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
This deeply personal and illuminating memoir about her 15-year struggle with heroin, Khar sheds profound light on the opioid crisis and gives a voice to the over two million people in America currently battling with this addiction. Growing up in LA, Erin Khar hid behind a picture-perfect childhood filled with excellent grades, a popular group of friends and horseback riding. After first experimenting with her grandmother’s expired painkillers, Khar started using heroin when she was thirteen.
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Surface material
- By blythe mayfield on 03-06-20
By: Erin Khar
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Dreamseller
- An Addiction Memoir
- By: Brandon Novak
- Narrated by: Brandon Novak
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At seven, Brandon was a skateboard prodigy. By the time he was fourteen, he was living the dream. Discovered by skate legends Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. Touring the US with the elite Powell-Peralta team. Signing autographs and appearing in films and magazines. Brandon had it all. Then he got hooked on heroin. Soon he was living a down-and-out life in a garage, begging for change, and hustling to score his next fix. He stole from his family and friends. He pushed the fantasy that everything was okay, that he was going to rehab, getting help, and getting better. But it was all a lie.
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5 stars
- By Anonymous User on 07-26-24
By: Brandon Novak
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Fire and Ice
- The Meth Bible
- By: Boston Bornagain
- Narrated by: Ben Donaubauer
- Length: 20 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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To meet God, some of us must first walk with the devil. This brutally honest series of events is based on a real-life spiritual awakening of a living man. Listener beware. This book is full of shocking sexual situations, illicit drug use, and Jesus. "Fire and Ice: The Meth Bible" is the authority on the "ice game."
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thinking he was in a movie
- By Anonymous User on 03-16-24
By: Boston Bornagain
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One Hit Away: A Memoir of Recovery
- By: Jordan P. Barnes
- Narrated by: Ryan Haugen
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At the age of 24, Jordan Barnes woke up next to a lifeless body, rifled through his dead friends’ pockets for any remaining heroin, and went right back to using. Strung out and homeless during the supposed best years of his life, there was no clear way out of the opioid crisis ravaging the streets of Portland, Oregon. But though Jordan had long accepted his fate, his parents still held out hope and would do everything in their power to get him the help he so desperately needed.
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thank you
- By Melanie Alexandra on 03-05-21
By: Jordan P. Barnes
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Tweakerworld
- A Memoir
- By: Jason Yamas
- Narrated by: Jason Yamas
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.
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Exhausting
- By Thom Pierson on 03-09-23
By: Jason Yamas
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Tweak
- Growing Up on Methamphetamines
- By: Nic Sheff
- Narrated by: Paul Michael Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
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Painful Journey
- By David on 11-15-10
By: Nic Sheff
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Strung Out
- One Last Hit and Other Lies That Nearly Killed Me
- By: Erin Khar
- Narrated by: Jayme Mattler
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This deeply personal and illuminating memoir about her 15-year struggle with heroin, Khar sheds profound light on the opioid crisis and gives a voice to the over two million people in America currently battling with this addiction. Growing up in LA, Erin Khar hid behind a picture-perfect childhood filled with excellent grades, a popular group of friends and horseback riding. After first experimenting with her grandmother’s expired painkillers, Khar started using heroin when she was thirteen.
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Surface material
- By blythe mayfield on 03-06-20
By: Erin Khar
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Dreamseller
- An Addiction Memoir
- By: Brandon Novak
- Narrated by: Brandon Novak
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At seven, Brandon was a skateboard prodigy. By the time he was fourteen, he was living the dream. Discovered by skate legends Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. Touring the US with the elite Powell-Peralta team. Signing autographs and appearing in films and magazines. Brandon had it all. Then he got hooked on heroin. Soon he was living a down-and-out life in a garage, begging for change, and hustling to score his next fix. He stole from his family and friends. He pushed the fantasy that everything was okay, that he was going to rehab, getting help, and getting better. But it was all a lie.
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5 stars
- By Anonymous User on 07-26-24
By: Brandon Novak
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My Fair Junkie
- A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean
- By: Amy Dresner
- Narrated by: Amy Dresner
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Orange Is the New Black and Jerry Stahl's Permanent Midnight, Amy Dresner's My Fair Junkie is an insightful, darkly funny, and shamelessly honest memoir of one woman's battle with all forms of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and forging a path to a life worth living.
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if you don't read this I'll brandish a bread knife
- By Jackie Lange on 03-02-18
By: Amy Dresner
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American Drug Addict
- a memoir
- By: Brett Douglas
- Narrated by: Ryan Turner
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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UGHHHH. NOOOO.
- By karen McCann on 09-29-18
By: Brett Douglas
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That's What Junkies Do
- By: Thomas Figlioli
- Narrated by: Shanon Weaver
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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That's What Junkies Do is a brutally honest, often dark journey of one man's struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. The story starts innocently enough in 1980's Brooklyn, NY, with a young boy, Thomas Figlioli, making a bad choice so he could gain the respect of a group of kids he looked up to and admired. Alcohol gives him the courage to be the person he always wanted to be. His fear and insecurity leaves and his lifelong struggle begins. When thoughts of ending it all become a better choice than living how he is, Thomas finally asks for help.
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The honesty and story gripped me right from the beginning and never let go.
- By JOHN GERMIN on 09-08-21
By: Thomas Figlioli
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Bad Sex on Speed
- A Novel
- By: Jerry Stahl
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Bad Sex on Speed is a savage, careening, hyper-real nightmare of a novel, taking us to the depths of Amphetamine America. Told with no concession to traditional narrative, in the voices of those in the grips and on the fringes, the stories that emerge are at once devastating, hysterical, and - perhaps most terrifying of all - going on all around you, all the time. Stahl digs deep into the psyche of the most demented and dispossessed among us, returning with an unsparing vision.
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Fantastic listen
- By M T Boućher on 03-04-24
By: Jerry Stahl
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Chasing a Flawed Sun
- By: Daniel McGhee
- Narrated by: Frank Gerard
- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart, and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil, and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self-discovery and realization. It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind.
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don't bother
- By Lindsay on 04-24-21
By: Daniel McGhee
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
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High
- Everything You Want to Know About Drugs, Alcohol, and Addiction
- By: David Sheff, Nic Sheff
- Narrated by: George Newbern, Graham Halstead
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Just say know! With drug education for children more important than ever, this nonfiction book draws on the experiences of the New York Times best-selling father-and-son team to provide all the information teens and 'tweens need to know about drugs, alcohol, and addiction. From David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy, and Nic Sheff, author of Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines, comes the ultimate resource for learning about the realities of drugs and alcohol for middle-grade listeners.
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eh
- By Robert DeWitt on 09-24-20
By: David Sheff, and others
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Nein, Nein, Nein!
- One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust
- By: Jerry Stahl
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In September 2016, Jerry Stahl was feeling nervous on the eve of a two-week trip across Poland and Germany. But it was not just the stops at Auschwitz, Buchenwald, and Dachau that gave him anxiety. It was the fact that he would be traveling with two dozen strangers, by bus. In a tour group. And he was not a tour-group kind of guy. The decision to visit Holocaust-world did not come easy. Stahl's lifelong depression at an all-time high, his career and personal life at an all-time low, he had the idea to go on a trip where the despair he was feeling would be appropriate.
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Insufferable
- By Harry Seaward on 07-30-22
By: Jerry Stahl
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We All Fall Down
- Living with Addiction
- By: Nic Sheff
- Narrated by: Charles Carroll
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In this powerful and immensely engaging follow-up to his first memoir, Sheff picks up where he left off and reveals his first-person account of stints at in-patient rehabilitation facilities, devastating relapses with alcohol and marijuana, and hard-won realizations about what it means to be a young adult living with addiction.
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Disappointed
- By Lisa Saunders on 02-22-19
By: Nic Sheff
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The Cocaine Chronicles
- By: Gary Philips - editor, Jervey Tervalon - editor
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman, Scott Brick, Nick Sullivan, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Cocaine Chronicles contains tough tales by a cross-section of today's most thought-provoking writers. Featuring brand-new stories by: Susan Straight, Lee Child, Laura Lippman, Ken Bruen, Jerry Stahl, Nina Revoyr, Bill Moody, Emory Holmes II, James Brown, Gary Phillips, Jervey Tervalon, Kerry E. West, Donnell Alexander, Deborah Vankin, Robert Ward, Manuel Ramos, and Detrice Jones.
By: Gary Philips - editor, and others
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Beautiful Boy
- A Father's Journey through His Son's Meth Addiction
- By: David Sheff
- Narrated by: Anthony Heald
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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David Sheff's story is a first: a teenager's addiction from the parent's point of view, a real-time chronicle of the shocking descent into substance abuse and the gradual emergence into hope.
Before meth, Sheff's son, Nic, was a varsity athlete, honor student, and award-winning journalist. After meth, he was a trembling wraith who stole money from his eight-year-old brother and lived on the streets. With haunting candor, Sheff traces the first warning signs, the attempts at rehabilitation, and, at last, the way past addiction. He shows us that, whatever an addict's fate, the rest of the family must care for one another, too, lest they become addicted to addiction.
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Been There
- By Happy Reader on 11-26-12
By: David Sheff
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High Achiever
- The Incredible True Story of One Addict's Double Life
- By: Tiffany Jenkins
- Narrated by: Tiffany Jenkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
- By Jim Thompson on 10-16-19
By: Tiffany Jenkins
What listeners say about Permanent Midnight
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Danielle Shereshewsky
- 04-14-22
Gritty, no holds-bar, gut wrenching... HEROIN
Wow, where do I begin? This is as real as it gets. You want to know about heroin addiction?
This book is it. I laughed, I cringed, I was astonished. By far thee most down in the dumpster pit of addiction I've yet to read/listen to.
This blows the movie away.
Get this!
BRAVO to JS for having the soul-searching honesty to write this
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- J-RO-210
- 03-05-23
Great book, bad production
Not to beat a dead horse but the music ruins it. I read the print version years ago and liked it a lot. wanted to revisit it so i bought the audiobook. I can't listen for more than 30 minutes at a time because of the music and tin can audio.
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- Meg w
- 05-25-23
Overwhelming
Beautifully captured debauchery. No one romanticizes addiction better. Exceptionally well written and voiced. Fantastic read.
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- Yaron Valler
- 04-21-24
Annoying background music
It would have been nice if the publisher released a version without the annoying background music that destroys the ability to enjoy the book
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- Trevor Staiger
- 02-24-21
Good story, distracting music
The story is real and raw and entertaining. The problem is that there is this awful jazzy music playing in the background the whole time. I tried getting my credit back, it was that distracting for me. I regretted this purchase.
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- Brenda Ramirez
- 02-24-23
Memoir assignment
I read Permanent Midnight for an assignment in my addictions class. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the story. I usually don’t do audiobooks but out of necessity I tried it. The music realllyyyyy ruined it for me. I think the story suffered because of it, but Jerry’s detailed recall and vulnerability was captivating!
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- a1waystreet
- 09-08-20
WOW; Brutally Honest!
From page one gut reaching, raw and real addiction experiences of Jerry Stahl. The asks over and over- How is this man still alive? He truly has an Angel on his shoulder.
Well worth the read!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Unknown Reviewer
- 03-10-21
Such an unforgettable book ruined by frenetic guitar riffs
Honestly, I love this book and I enjoyed the voice of the narrator. I was so put off by the constant distraction of the background “music” (if you could call it that). It sounded like a meetup for 80s hair band guitarists, all warming up at once on an echoey stage. It made listening to this book resemble a subtle form of torture.
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- Lala
- 07-06-22
Couldn’t get past the strange background noise
The book was interesting but there’s an odd background sound that’s very faint, but super noticeable. I can’t tell if it’s music and supposed to be there or something else.
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- Shevaun Bastarache
- 03-23-21
Irritating music score
The music lasts throughout the entire book and hinders listening. The story itself is powerful.
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3 people found this helpful