The cousin who belittles your parenting skills. The colleague who leaves the lion’s share of projects to you but happily soaks up praise when the job’s done. The friend who routinely cancels at the last minute. The client who never pays on time. The partner who body-shames you as a ‘joke’… We’re all familiar with the disorienting mix of anger, self-recrimination, disappointment and doubt evoked by scenarios like these. We’re also familiar with the post-event frustration that leaches away happiness as we veer between promising ourselves this won’t happen again, wondering whether we’re making too big a deal of things, and wishing we could stop thinking about the issue altogether.
The environments, relationships and details may differ, but all share a significant characteristic: a lack of boundaries. Or, as author Melissa Urban puts it, the need to ‘set limits that will set you free’.
‘Boundaries are separations we need – mentally, emotionally, and physically – to feel safe, valued and respected,’ says Carla Marie Manly, author of Joy from and .
