Parenting Guide
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About this ebook
Parenting advice is difficult to listen to, understand and incorporate into our daily lives. We all want to be better parents. We know our words and actions intentionally and unintentionally influence our children for the rest of their lives. Each of us want our child to experience joy, love and happiness. We want them to experience friendship and find companionship when and where they need it. We want our children to be purposeful in action and thought and respectful of others. We want them to grow up in a positive environment filled with opportunity. We want our child to live in a safe environment, respect others, be able to choose right from wrong and know how and when to help another.
As your guide I will help you determine what type of parent you are and what type of parent you want to become. I promise to help you find answers to common questions, concerns and problems you are confronted with every day. I have organized the information by topic to provide you understandable parenting advice when and where you have a few minutes of free time. My goal is to help tired and overextended parents change the way they parent one way at a time.
The decision is yours. Do you want your child to feel safe, secure and loved? Do you want your child to have the opportunity to see, hear and feel the world? Are you willing to talk with and tune into your child? Are you ready, willing and able to give your child the love and support to make both good and bad choices and learn from both? If you are, I want to be your guide in this greatest of all life journeys.
Joseph Barber, MD, FAAP
Dr. Joe Barber attended the University of Notre Dame for his undergraduate degree and received his graduate medical degree from the University of Pittsburgh. He completed a pediatric residency at the University of Virginia and a neurology residency and child neurology fellowship at Washington University and St. Louis Children’s Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. He is board certified in Pediatrics, a member of the Child Neurology Society and past Chairman of the Department of Pediatrics at Saint Vincent Hospital in Erie, Pennsylvania. Married with five children he and his wife Lori live in a small town, North East, in northwestern Pennsylvania.He is a presenter for the Pennsylvania Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics for both the EPIC: Pediatric Obesity Evaluation, Treatment and Prevention in Community Settings Program and the EPIC: Breastfeeding Education, Support and Training (BEST) Program. He founded Children’s Health Care in 1987 and continues to practice pediatrics and child neurology at Children’s Community Pediatrics-Erie, an affiliate of Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC. Dr. Barber provides expert weekly medical commentary on a regional ABC affiliate, WJET-TV and is a medical advisor to the Barber National Institute in Erie, Pennsylvania.DrJoeBarber.com was created in 2013 to help parents improve their parenting journey. Dr. Barber’s philosophy focuses on the importance of providing every child with active love, understanding and respect. He believes children come into this world perfect and an engaged, loving and properly supportive caregiving parent is fundamental to healthy parenting. Parents who know how to recognize and relate to their own emotions and the emotions of their child find understanding and acceptance for both their actions and the behaviors of the child.
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Parenting Guide - Joseph Barber, MD, FAAP
Parenting Guide
by Dr. Joe Barber
Text copyright © 2016 Joseph C. Barber, MD, FAAP
All Rights Reserved
Introduction
Parenting advice is difficult to listen to, understand and incorporate into our daily lives. We all want to be better parents. We know our words and actions intentionally and unintentionally influence our children for the rest of their lives. Each of us want our child to experience joy, love and happiness. We want them to experience friendship and find companionship when and where they need it. We want our children to be purposeful in action and thought and respectful of others. We want them to grow up in a positive environment filled with opportunity. We want our child to live in a safe environment, respect others, be able to choose right from wrong and know how and when to help another.
To attain these goals we must provide ourselves the encouragement, opportunity and resources to learn how to become better parents and the support to follow these principles consistently every day. Shame, guilt and anger are byproducts of constructive criticism. No one enjoys criticism even when it is constructive. Yet, to become better parents, each of us must learn how to change what we are doing wrong and strengthen what we are doing right.
Every day you are confronted by fatigue and time constraints. Few parents have the time or energy to find answers on their own. This is why I want to be your guide and help you find the best ways to interact and respond to your child during both the good times and the bad times. Real time parenting is fast, complex and difficult. Many parenting books focus on what you have been doing wrong and not on what you are doing right. I want to focus on the small things a busy parent can do right.
As a pediatrician and child neurologist, I know parents want to be better parents but they do not know how to make it happen. Parenting choices are camouflaged. The behavior of every child is unique, diverse, complex and ever changing and although there is not one roadmap to follow there are road signs which will get you to your destination.
As your guide I will help you determine what type of parent you are and what type of parent you want to become. I promise to help you find answers to common questions, concerns and problems you are confronted with every day. I have organized the information by topic to provide you understandable parenting advice when and where you have a few minutes of free time. My goal is to help tired and overextended parents change the way they parent one way at a time.
I will help you recognize when you need help and advice and learn how to ask for and accept help without feeling judged. We all need help. What separates us, however, is our willingness to ask for and accept that help. Parenting skills must be learned and only improve with repetition and practice. Perfection is not needed and neglecting our own needs leads to negative parenting responses and poor emotional and physical health for all of us.
Parents need to learn how to monitor feelings, set goals and choose strategies they believe in. Every parent must learn the importance of patience, self-care strategies and a belief that behavior can change and why frustration, anger, shame and guilt are road signs telling you it is time to seek professional help and support.
Your child hears and sees all of your words and actions. Be a positive model for your child. By providing clear, concise, consistent, confident and competent parenting responses you will become a better parent and improve your child’s life.
The decision is yours. Do you want your child to feel safe, secure and loved? Do you want your child to have the opportunity to see, hear and feel the world? Are you willing to talk with and tune into your child?