Exploring the Joy of Christmas: A Duck Commander Faith and Family Field Guide
By Phil Robertson and Kay Robertson
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About this ebook
Phil Robertson
Phil Robertson is a professional hunter who invented his own duck call and founded the successful Duck Commander company. He also starred in the popular television series on A&E, Duck Dynasty, and is now the cohost of the hugely popular podcast, Unashamed with Phil & Jase Robertson. He is a New York Times bestselling author of Jesus Politics; The Theft of America's Soul; Happy, Happy, Happy; and UnPHILtered. He and his wife, Kay, live in West Monroe, Louisiana. He has five children, nineteen grandchildren, and thirteen great-grandchildren.
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Exploring the Joy of Christmas - Phil Robertson
1
Memories and Mistletoe
Courtesy Russell GravesCourtesy Russell Graves
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
PHILIPPIANS 4:12
Our exploration of finding the true joy of Christmas starts with a heart of contentment regardless of our circumstances. You might want to read that again. Miss Kay and I have discovered what it means to be content no matter what. We have been so poor there were many Christmases when we didn’t have enough to eat—unless we went out and plucked food up from the ground, picked it off of a tree, or shot it from the sky. On the other hand, we’ve benefited from a thriving duck call business and television show. Through all of that we’ve learned a thing or two about joy.
At the top of the list is this undeniable fact: true joy is a gift that Jesus gives when He changes our hearts. Once that happens, regardless of our lot in life, we’ll be good to go. All we have to do is keep our eyes on Him—not on the stuff this old world peddles. Hey, there isn’t a kitchen appliance, flat screen TV, cellphone gadget, or piece of clothing that can bring you lasting joy. I see them yuppies whipping out their platinum credit cards buying everything in sight thinking their purchases will make them happy, happy, happy. When the bill comes due, get back to me on how that joy is working out, see what I’m saying?
Personally, I avoid the mall at Christmas at all costs. But then again, I avoid the mall during the rest of the year, as well. Masses of shoppers clogging the aisles on the hunt for a good deal make me nervous. I’d much rather do my hunting down by the river where it’s peaceful and quiet. That said, Miss Kay and I thought it’d be a slick idea to invite you into our home to see what we did do over the years to maintain a spirit of contentment. Hey, you’ll see a little redneck engineering can go a long way when times are lean.
HUNTING FOR THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS TREE
Americans spend more than $1 billion on Christmas trees, fake or real, each year. I get mine for free. I just go and chop one down. They don’t get any fresher than that. You say, Where do you find one to cut?
That’s simple. I have probably traversed every creek there is in northern Louisiana. I’ve covered just about all of them either on foot or I’ve paddled ’em in a pirogue—that’s a long, narrow canoe for you citified folk. I always keep a sharp eye out for the makings of a great Christmas tree and then make a mental note of the location.
I know all of the good spots. I’ve been doing that since my childhood. Admittedly, I’ve learned there’s a right and a wrong way to go about that. Not long after I had become a Christian, Miss Kay, Alan, and I went out to fetch us a tree—not at a lumberyard or department store like they do in Yuppieville. Since times were hard and we didn’t have any money, we walked through a thick patch of trees where I had spied one earlier. Miss Kay didn’t recognize the area so she said, Now, Phil, we’re not cutting down a tree where we shouldn’t be cutting, are we?
No, no. We can’t be doing that,
I said. Several moments later I heard the engine of an approaching pickup truck. I was like, Everybody get down!
We all hit the dirt. I’ve never seen Miss Kay move that fast. While she was on the ground, she said, Okay, why are we hiding if it’s okay for us to get the Christmas tree here?
Well, I thought it was okay. Maybe we shouldn’t be here,
I said, clearly busted.
Hey, if you’re having to hide out when you get your Christmas tree,
Miss Kay said, standing up and dusting the dirt off of her jeans, you’re probably taking it from someplace you shouldn’t be.
I’ll admit as a new Christian I was still a little bit shaky on some things. Now that we own a few hundred acres, I no longer have that temptation, see what I’m saying? And, now that we have a little extra money, we’re able to just buy one if I don’t want to fool with that whole lumberjack scenario.
Either way, we usually get our tree during the first week of December. Miss Kay keeps it up in the house into January. You say, Why not just buy a fake one and use it year after year?
Nope. There’s nothing like the smell of a fresh tree. And Miss Kay has a field day decorating it. Always has. When we had no money, she’d find a way to beautify the tree with Spanish moss or garlands handmade out of popcorn and cranberries. The last twenty years we’ve gone for more of a hunting theme where she’ll string together shotgun shells—not live ammo, mind you, spent hulls—duck decoys, and such. I hear tell you can buy them that way these days.
We just made them ourselves.
I mean to tell you, nobody beats Miss Kay in the Christmas decorating department—even back when we had no money. We’d go into the woods to gather magnolia leaves and all kinds of outside plants and pinecones. She’d spray-paint them with two dollars’ worth of silver or gold paint and then mix them up with some fresh-picked red holly. You might say the woods was our Walmart. That’s a fact. Hey, we’d even forage for things in the dump. It wasn’t always trash. We found all kinds of Christmas decorations, like a set of little reindeer someone had thrown away.
The dump was our flea market back then.
GAG GIFTS, CALCULATORS, AND PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES
Phil is the hardest person on the planet to buy a present for because he’s so particular. Besides, he has no interests outside of hunting. None. He usually asks for something that’s hunting related, like a knife. Nobody ever bought him clothes in fifty years unless it was socks—which he rarely wears anyway. About ten or fifteen years ago, I decided that if I can’t buy Phil something he wants, I’ll get him a gag gift. That tradition has turned into buying gag gifts for everyone.
Courtesy Phil and...Courtesy Phil and Miss Kay Robertson
Come August, I’ll spend hours in the bookstore buying the gag gifts. Take Vinny Mancuso who married Alan and Lisa’s daughter Alex. Since he’s in the family and he’s Italian, I’ll buy something Mafia related. I’ll put on his card, Vinny, I got some stuff from your family history and thought you might enjoy it.
I bought Jase a book something like 101 Positive Sayings for the Negative Person. Jase was like, Why would you give me this? I’m not negative.
I got Missy 101 Ways to Cook Bacon. The fact of the matter is that Missy despises bacon. She thinks the fat is no good for you. That year I gave Willie a Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldies video workout on DVD. He about died. I laughed so hard when I gave Phil a book on the Russian opera. He was like, Miss Kay, why in the world would you get me that?
Or the time I bought him