Stay Woke: A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us
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About this ebook
CONFESSION: This is not really a meditation book.
Yes, you’re going to learn everything you need to know about meditation, but if you came looking for a typical guide to mindfulness, you’re in the wrong place. We are modern people in a high-tech world. We have first world problems and long to-do lists. And if you grew up in struggle—overcoming homophobia, sexism, trauma, shame, depression, poverty, toxic masculinity, racism, or social injustice—you need a different type of meditation … one that doesn’t pretend the struggle doesn’t exist.
Here you will discover:
● How to actually find stillness when your mind is going crazy
● Why most guided meditations get boring after a while
● What nobody tells you about “setting intentions” and the scientific process to manifesting
● Four hidden habits that sabotage your growth—and how to move past them
● Proven techniques to overcome anxiety, stress, and trouble sleeping
● Daily rituals that cement and enrich your practice
● How to use mindfulness to take action toward the causes you believe in and get sh!t done
Whether you’ve tried meditation but it never sticks, or you’ve heard about it but never gave it a shot, Justin Michael Williams guides you step by step in creating a custom meditation ritual that fits in with your busy (and sometimes messy!) modern life. With free downloadable audio meditations every step of the way, Stay Woke gives people of all genders, identities, colors, religions, ages, and economic backgrounds the tools to stop wasting time, overcome self-doubt, and wake up to the lives we were really born to live.
Justin Michael Williams
Justin Michael Williams brings people together across divides with a multigenerational message of hope, empowerment, and unity. He is an award-winning speaker, GRAMMY®-nominated recording artist, and author of Stay Woke: A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us and How We Ended Racism: Realizing a New Possibility in One Generation (with Shelly Tygielski). For more, visit justinmichaelwilliams.com.
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Stay Woke - Justin Michael Williams
together.
contents
We Are the Revolution
Part 1Meditation for the People: A Recipe for Freedom
1The Truth Will Set Us Free
2We Have a Dream
Guided Practice 1: How to Redefine Your Life (No Matter What You’ve Been Through)
3We Stop Self-Sabotage
Guided Practice 2: Toxic Habits: Breaking Free for Good
Guided Practice 3: Toxic People: Setting Better Boundaries
Guided Practice 4: Toxic Thoughts: Stopping Self-Criticism
Guided Practice 5: Toxic Beliefs: Facing the Truth
4We Chill the F*ck Out
Guided Practice 6: The Freedom Trinity
5We Free Our Minds
Guided Practice 7: Stop Pushing Down Your Thoughts
Guided Practice 8: Get Inside Your Own Head
6We Got the Sauce
Guided Practice 9: Discover Your Unique Energy Signature
Guided Practice 10: The Mantra Compatibility Test
7We Practice Presence
Guided Practice 11: How to Get Centered When Your Mind Is Going Crazy
Guided Practice 12: Turn Your Mess into Magic
8We Get Physical
Guided Practice 13: Pulse: For Meditators Who Hate Sitting Still
Guided Practice 14: Hot Hands
9We Want Answers
Guided Practice 15: Get the Answers You’ve Been Searching For
10We Build Rituals
Guided Practice 16: Creating Your Daily Meditation Ritual
11We Commit
Guided Practice 17: Your Customized Meditation Challenge Experiment
Part 2Practices for Your Life: 33 Rituals for Deep Awakening
12Meditations for Anxiety and Stress
How to Stop Obsessive Thinking
When You’re Stressed about Money . . .
When You Have Trouble Sleeping . . .
Forget about Work/Life Balance
When Your Parents Annoy You . . .
How to Manage Nervousness and Fear
Gratitude to Shift Your Mood
Faking Happiness Can Hurt You. Do This Instead . . .
The Power of Awe
13Meditations for Self-Love and Confidence
Forgiving Yourself
The Prison of Perfectionism
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
When You’re Worried about What Other People Think . . .
Got Overachievers’ Syndrome? This Will Help
Get Better at Saying, No!
Five Self-Care Hacks for Busy Moms and Dads
I Am Beyoncé
14Meditations for Focus and Intuition
Am I in the Wrong Relationship?
DUI Checkpoint: Are Your Vices Holding You Back?
Smoke Your Mantra: What Weed and Meditation Have in Common
Stop Porn from F*cking You: A Creativity Practice
Five Easy Ways for Tech-Obsessed People to Reconnect with Nature
The Perfect Morning Ritual
Cigarette Break Meditation
Find Your Purpose
Get Sh!t Done
15Meditations for Social Justice
Become a Better Activist (A How-to Guide)
The First Step to Radical Change
Uncover Your Hidden Prejudices
We’re ALL Privileged: This Test Will Tell You How Much
A Self-Care Practice for Activists
Meditating While Black . . . or Gay, or Trans, or [Insert Marginalized Voice Here]
Together: Moving Beyond Identity
Closing Anthem: I Am Enough
The Gratitude List
Daily Practice Plan
Goodies: Extras to Help You on Your Path to Awakening
Notes
About the Author
About the Illustrator
About Sounds True
Copyright
Praise for Stay Woke
The guided practices in Stay Woke are available as free audio downloads at justinmichaelwilliams.com/staywoke.
IF YOU CAN WORRY, YOU CAN MEDITATE
We close our eyes, and we can see a life we haven’t started living yet. We see the people we know we were put on this earth to be—and we all know that we were born to do something incredible. We feel it inside. We can see the mother we’ve always wanted to be, the lover we’ve always wanted to be, the father, the entrepreneur, the dancer, the artist, the actor, the singer, the leader, and the relationship we’ve always wanted, the business idea we always think about. But we spend so much time sitting on the sidelines, waiting for the right moment. We sit, and we wait, because when we were younger, somebody told us, "That dream you have is not for you. It’s not for you because you’re too fat, or too old, or too ugly, or too gay, you’re not good enough, you’re too skinny, too black, or—my favorite—
people like us just don’t do that." Whatever. They told us we weren’t good enough, and we believed them.
I have a confession to make. This is not really a meditation book.
Yes, I’m going to teach you everything you need to know about meditation, but if you came looking for your typical hippie-type Zen meditation book, you’re in the wrong place.
This book is for people who are overwhelmed with obsessive thinking. For people who are dealing with so much anxiety and stress that they have trouble sleeping. For people who have felt ashamed, wounded, not good enough, silenced, or marginalized. For people who feel like there’s something missing in their life but can’t figure out what it is. This book will help you pinpoint that wound, heal it, and use it as fuel to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
This book is about taking action.
This book is about getting rid of that stuck feeling that’s been gnawing at the back of your mind for all these years.
But, most importantly, this book is for us—for the people.
For my black brothers and sisters, this is for you.
For my LGBTQIA+ brothers and sisters, this is for you.
For my women who have had enough, this is for you.
For my starving artists and workaholic creatives, this is for you.
For my conscious entrepreneurs who want to make an impact, this is for you.
For those who have been discriminated against for their otherness, this is for you.
For my social justice warriors, this is for you.
For my tree-loving planet savers, this is for you.
For all people of color and everyone who is woke enough to understand why I’m pointing that out, this is for you.
Throughout my last decade of teaching yoga and meditation, I’ve been blessed to work with thousands of people, of all types of backgrounds, from more than forty countries around the globe, and everyone says the same things: I’ve tried meditation, but I can never stick with it,
or I just can’t get my mind to slow down,
or I don’t believe in meditiation.
And I understand why.
Meditation—at least the kind of meditation most of us have heard about—started with a bunch of men who were monks, sitting in the forest. And to become a monk, you had to release and abandon your entire family, your friends, all of your internal desires—sex, passion, intimacy—and all of your emotions and needs, including hunger, thirst, and everything you loved. You had to renounce all of it, sit under a tree, and devote the rest of your life to spiritual practice to transcend the suffering of life. Sounds intense, right? It was. So intense that ancient monks had to use special techniques to help them totally abandon their worldly desires. The most powerful of these techniques? Meditation.
I need to break some news to you. We are not monks. We are modern people in a high-tech world. We have First World problems and shit to do. We have iPhones and social media, and we have emotions that keep us connected to our passions, dreams, and one another. We have relationships, kids, jobs, and long to-do lists. And if you grew up like me—overcoming systemic oppression, homophobia, sexism, depression, poverty, toxic masculinity, community disempowerment, racism, and trauma—you need a different type of meditation. One that doesn’t pretend the struggle doesn’t exist.
The reason why so many people try meditation and it doesn’t stick is because they’re practicing the wrong kind of meditation, a kind based on renunciation. This makes meditation feel like doing a chore or even being punished. It can feel like your mind is going crazy with random thoughts and you have to force yourself to sit still and stop thinking. Sound familiar?
The style of meditation I’m going to teach you in this book is the opposite of all of that.
And if you’re someone who thinks you can’t meditate because you can’t get your mind to stop thinking, I got some news for ya:
If you can worry, you can meditate.
Worrying and meditation are essentially the same thing, except with worrying, you play out bad scenarios in your head over and over, continuing to return to them throughout your day. Meditation works exactly the same way: the trick is flipping the switch from fear to empowerment. When you worry, you let your thoughts control you; when you meditate, you take your power back.
I’m sure you’ve heard about some of the benefits of meditation.¹ It:
•Reduces stress
•Helps you sleep better
•Fights off depression
•Relieves anxiety
•Improves your memory
•Improves your focus
•Makes you more productive
•Boosts self-confidence
•Combats prejudice
•Enhances empathy
•Helps with decision-making
•Boosts your immune system
And that’s just to name a few. A quick Google search will lead you to a plethora of studies done at major universities around the world highlighting the benefits meditation has on the body, mind, soul, and spirit.
Over the last several years, I’ve been on a mission to take meditation out of the spiritual echo chamber and bring it to everyday people like you and me. I believe all people, of all backgrounds, deserve to have access to the truth. So I started asking big questions. How does meditation loosen the grip of our toxic habits, especially when it comes to things like porn, drugs, alcohol, social media, sex, and the incessant need for validation? How does it fit in if we’re stressed out, overwhelmed, stretched too thin, and don’t have extra time? How does it help us get shit done? How does it impact social justice? Productivity? Relationships? Money? Trauma? Healing? Entrepreneurship? Creativity? How does it help us overcome the obstacles that hold us back from our inherent greatness? The answers to those questions gave birth to the style of meditation that I’m going to teach you in this book.
I’d like to introduce you to Freedom Meditation, a practice that connects us with the most powerful version of our own selves—the Self that’s deep down inside, untouched and unscathed by all the bullshit we’ve gathered over the years—and sets it free.
LET’S GIVE IT A TEST RUN. Place both hands over your heart and take three slow, deep breaths—5 counts in and 5 counts out. Feel your chest rise and fall with each breath. Make sure you don’t breathe too fast. Really slow it down—5 long counts in, 5 long counts out. Notice how your entire body expands a little bit with each inhale and contracts and gets smaller with each exhale. After at least three breaths, keep a hand over your heart and answer these questions: What’s the real dream for your life? And why are you still holding yourself back from getting there? What’s the real reason?
And don’t tell me, I don’t know.
If you’re reading this book, I know you’re ready to take some part of your life to the next level—so what is it? What’s really holding you back? Drop in and think about it for a sec. I promise we’ll have an opportunity to work through this together as you learn to meditate. If you’re having trouble identifying what’s stopping you, don’t worry—we’ll be unpacking this more a little later in the book. In all cases, it’s better to think about this now than to wait until life hits you upside the head with a dramatic situation to wake you up, like it did to me.
I’ve got a little story for you. In 2012, my grandmother, whom I was very close to, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and the doctors told her she only had a few months to live. This rocked my world like nothing I had ever experienced before. You have to understand, my Baca, as I called her, was my best friend. She was my light, my coach, my everything. Anyone who is superclose to their grandmother knows what I mean. It’s a special relationship unlike anything else in the universe.
I was devastated when I got the news, so I flew to my hometown, Pittsburg, California, to be with her. The moment I arrived, she kicked everyone else out of the room, sat me down, looked me in the eyes, and asked me a question that literally changed the trajectory of my entire life.
She asked, If you were in my shoes and knew you were going to die in two months, what would you do?
I started trembling. I felt the tears well up, but a childhood of being told, Only faggots cry
blockaded my tears like a dam holds back a stream. Before I could even think, the answer erupted out of my mouth with a roar of emotion from the deepest part of my soul: I would stop everything that I’m doing and record an album.
My Baca smiled, because she was a believer all along. I, on the other hand, was frozen in some combination of shock, joy, and longing, like what I imagine the disciples felt when they saw Jesus ascend from the tomb. The ghost of my truth had been resurrected.
Here’s the thing. I had always wanted to make music. It had been my dream ever since I was a little boy, but I never thought I was good enough—I had let all the kids at school who teased me about being gay make me feel like I sucked at everything. They said I was too feminine
when I sang or performed, and being feminine when you’re a little black boy growing up in the hood means getting beat up. Plus, when I looked around at the people closest to me, there were very few signs of anyone making money doing something they loved. The idea of working and enjoying your work, or being passionate about your work, was almost nonexistent in our community, where people were barely making ends meet.
The paradox of my childhood was love and abuse, protection and violence, acceptance and Don’t talk about it.
My family sacrificed a lot and did the best they could to provide an abundant life for five kids and shield us from the danger of our environment, but still there was a lot of trauma. There were gunshot holes on the exterior of our house. And one of my most vivid memories is calling 911 trying to protect my mom from my violent stepfather, who choked and beat and abused her until we finally escaped to live with my grandparents.
All I wanted was to make a lot of money and be successful enough to get out. And I’m so grateful to say that I did. I got a full-ride academic scholarship to the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), started my own marketing company at twenty years of age, and was making six figures by the time I was twenty-six. I had celebrity clients, a black BMW, and an apartment two blocks from the beach in Los Angeles. Most people would say I was living the dream.
But it was the wrong dream. It was a dream based on a desire to leave, not a desire to fly. To fulfill cultural expectations based on oppressive traditions; to do whatever I could to be loved, validated, and accepted by my mom and dad; to be successful
as defined by everyone else’s expectations; to save and rescue everybody, because I was the smart one, the successful one, the one who made it,
numbing my real dream in the process of overfunctioning and overachieving. Is any of this sounding familiar?
You see, those of us who grow up in the struggle—whatever particular struggle that may be—are not given an opportunity to dream big enough. When you grow up with violence and abuse, you dream of safety. When you grow up living from paycheck to paycheck, you dream of security. When you grow up in a broken home, you dream of stability. When you grow up being teased for being different, your dream is to belong. When you grow up marginalized, you dream of the same basic rights that seem to be afforded to everyone else by default. So of course you forget to dream bigger. Of course the dream you had when you were a kid gets pushed to the recesses of your mind. It hurts too much to hold on to that dream—the dream you had before you knew about the struggle. Before you knew about racism. Before you knew about slavery. Before you knew about suffrage. Before you knew about the Holocaust. Before you knew about divorce. Before you knew about depression. Before you knew about drugs. Before you knew about domestic violence. Before you knew about systemic oppression.
Underneath all that bullshit, there’s a dream. It might be dormant and covered in complacency, but it’s still there. It hasn’t abandoned you. Meditation will help you wake it up. And if there’s a new dream knocking on your door, meditation will help you answer it.
I remember the first day I met with my meditation teacher Lorin Roche like it was yesterday. We met up at the end of Ocean Park Boulevard in Santa Monica, California, on a warm April morning at 9:45 a.m. The beach was mostly empty, since it was a weekday. The sun was shining and the waves were crashing just a few feet away as we sat together with our feet buried in the sand. I was skeptical and jaded from several failed attempts at meditation, but I had heard Lorin was the real deal, so I allowed myself to be open to the experience. I didn’t know it then, but that one meetup would shift the course of my life forever. Lorin become my mentor. He took a tender, young, and broken Justin under his wing and taught me everything he knew. I developed Freedom Meditation directly from what I learned from him.
I used to be riddled with anxiety and sadness. I used to constantly compare myself to other people. I felt like I didn’t belong. I craved external validation. I would lie awake in bed at night obsessing over work, money, and relationships. It was like I had a void that could never be filled. But the meditation practice I learned from Lorin healed all that. It helped me release my unhealthy relationships with caffeine, drugs, alcohol, and meaningless sex, and it gave me access to a wellspring of power and radiance that existed underneath the haze of all my vices. Meditation empowered me with intuitive guidance, fast decision-making, and a clear state of mind so that I could break through my toxic patterns, find my purpose, and live the life that had been waiting for me all along. I promise to teach you everything I know in this book.
I met Lorin nine months after my Baca passed away. Within three years, my life completely changed. My debut album, Metamorphosis, premiered in the iTunes top 20 pop charts alongside Taylor Swift and Britney Spears. Since then I have performed on stages alongside Deepak Chopra and Chaka Khan, and my music has been downloaded millions of times in more than sixty countries around the globe. I travel the world speaking, teaching, and performing and make more money now than I did before I took that big leap into the unknown of the music industry.
But this isn’t about me. This is about you, your journey, your life, and you moving toward your full potential.
Part 1 of Stay Woke has one goal: to teach you how to meditate in a way that is customized to fit in with your messy modern life. You’ll learn how to stop self-sabotage, overcome fear and self-doubt, and enhance your intuition so you can finally make sense of all that random thinking. I’ll also teach you how to discover your unique energy signature—the special sauce that turns meditation into an unbreakable habit. Once you complete this ten-step recipe, you will have created a personalized Daily Meditation Ritual that you can do on your own, for life.
Part 2 of the book is formated buffet style—thirty-three grab-and-go minipractices designed to help you with anxiety, stress, sleep, focus, productivity, purpose, intuition, self-love, and social justice. After you’ve completed all the steps in part 1 and cooked up your own meditation practice, you can flip open to any page of part 2 and enjoy the minipractices at your own pace or work through them with the Daily Practice Plan.
Meditation will give you the opportunity to go inside, and feel, and know, and touch, and take responsibility for your gifts and talents so that you can finally stop wasting time, move beyond your fears, and wake up to the life you were born to live. And not just for yourself—for your family, for your community, for the planet, and for the people.
I’ll warn you, though: it ain’t easy being woke.
Saying that you’re woke
isn’t just about knowledge. And it isn’t just some catchy hashtag that randomly popped up on your news feed or favorite blog. The word woke came from my ancestors. It was created by black people in the 1960s who had to fight for their existence. By people who had to stare segregation and oppression in the face yet still keep hope