Heart and Seoul

Chapter 1

Tessa

Tessa Hale woke in the dark, completely disoriented. The espresso she’d consumed after getting off the plane had kicked in hard, dragging her through the day in a caffeine haze. Eventually the crushing weight of her jet lag had pulled her under. Her phone screen blazed with light, and she squinted against the glow.

4:00 a.m.

The apartment around her was heavy with silence and scented with sesame and ginger from dinner. She peeled back the curtain to reveal the glittering sea of lights bisected by the serpentine form of the Han River. The road below was a steady stream of white and red as cars travelled around the colossal city of Seoul.

Her stomach rumbled. She fished out her remaining cookies and peanuts from the flight and ate them while tucked under the curtain like a cat on a windowsill. She remembered nothing from the last time she’d been to Korea since she’d only been a toddler, but there was still that link, a small piece of her heritage that anchored her here.

Fiddling with her phone, she checked the time back home. Noon. Tessa dialed her mother’s number for a video call.

"Meu amor, what are you doing awake?" Her mother’s mahogany curls were tucked up in a bun, emphasizing the soft heart shape of her face, both traits she shared with Tessa.

"Just jet lag, Mamãe."

Her gut swirled with nerves, unsettling the recently consumed cookies. Seeing her mother in the bright sunshine of their kitchen solidified that she really had just crossed the ocean. She was in Seoul, the capital of her paternal grandmother’s homeland, and staying with her best friend who’d moved to Korea years ago. In a few days she would get to visit the set where a studio was going to turn her book into a drama.

How was the flight? Her mother propped the phone against the wall to free up her hands.

Boring, but not so soul-crushingly long as when we visited all the fam in Brazil.

Her mother laughed. That’s why I only go back to see my parents every five years.

The sound of pops and sizzles intensified, her mother stirring something in a pan on the stove.

Mamãe, you’re getting splatters on the camera. Move me over. Tessa waited while the view changed, the phone shifting away from the stove. What’re you making?

Garlic noodles and shrimp.

Tessa’s mouth watered. It was her father’s favourite dish. "How’s Appa?"

It’s a bad pain day for him. Her mother wilted. He was up most of the night, and he was supposed to cover a class today. He’ll be disappointed about having to miss it.

Cheering him up with food?

Her mother nodded.

He’ll appreciate it. Guilt twisted in Tessa’s chest. I feel bad for leaving.

Meu amor, no. This is good for you. It wouldn’t change things if you were here, and you deserve a break. I want you to be able to get out and live your own life.

You’re part of my life, Tessa instantly defended.

That’s not the same. Appa’s pain isn’t going to go away, and you can’t while away your entire life helping us.

I wouldn’t mind. She’d written her books while doing just that.

Meu amor, you’re twenty-seven. Her mother’s face turned stern and unyielding. I know how much you love us. You’ve proven it a thousand times, and I promise that neither of us will think otherwise if you start living your own path. We’re still going to be here, no matter how high you reach or how far you go. You’ve done so much for us, and believe me I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all, but you need to take some time for yourself. Your lovely assistant Amelia is around for any emergencies, and the nurse will be checking in. You don’t need to worry. Just enjoy yourself.

I’ll try.

The sound of rustling in the cutlery drawer was followed by the echo of flatware settling on the counter. Her mother piled two plates with the shrimp and noodles.

Take advantage of this trip. You’re there for a few weeks, and there are going to be plenty of beautiful people running around. Kelly would be over the moon assisting with a fling if you wanted to break out of your bubble a little.

I think we both know I don’t do flings.

Her mother laughed. First time for everything.

Mamãe, please. Tessa groaned.

Just try to have fun. For goodness’ sake, your book is becoming a drama! You’re free as a bird in a foreign country with your best friend. Go soak in every exciting moment of this.

Consider me a sponge. Tessa grinned. I swear I’ll do my best.

You’d better. Her mother tucked the phone under her chin, carting it and the two plates up to the room where her father was resting. He was awake when she flicked on the bedside lamp and gave a tired smile, accepting the food and a kiss. The image went wonky while her mother resettled on the bed.

Hi, Appa!

Hi, Peanut. He waved and shoved a bite of food into his mouth.

So, tell me about the drama, her mother said. Do you think they’ll do your book justice? Goodness, if it were me, I’d be too excited to even notice any flaws. You told me this company has pretty good productions, right?

Mhmm, they do. They made that one historical you loved and cried over for a week.

Ah, yes. They don’t often steal my heart like my telenovelas do, but I’m sure yours will make me cry just as much.

I hope not. Tessa laughed. A lot less people die in mine.

Still, I’m glad all those people like your story as much as I did. Her mother beamed.

I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.

I’m proud too, but I have a mouth full of noodles. Her father’s cheeks were puffed up like a chipmunk.

You’re both too sweet.

I’m biased because I’m your mother, but I’m allowed to praise my favourite author. She winked, and it warmed Tessa down to her toes. So, tell me more. When do you go to the studio?

I’m not sure yet. I’m still waiting to hear when they want me. I imagine it’ll be sometime this week since they start filming soon, so I should get to see the set and meet some of the actors before that. I was just going to hang out with Kelly and check out Seoul until then.

What sort of place doesn’t have that planned in advance?

She shrugged and propped the phone against the window. Kelly said it’s pretty common for a lot of things to be last minute. It’s not like I have anywhere else to be when they tell me what’s happening. I gave them my flight details, so I guess they’ll figure it out from there.

Her mother frowned. You’ll keep me updated?

Of course.

Is your lovely assistant excited to have full-time hours while you’re in Seoul?

Totally. Amelia’s saving up for a trip, so she was jazzed. I’m trying to let her take care of more so I can focus on my next deadline. You can call her—

If we need anything. Yes, I know. Her mother grinned. Don’t worry so much, meu amor.

Tessa blinked rapidly, exhaustion sneaking up on her.

You should get to sleep. Her mother smiled softly.

Tessa sighed, pressing her cheek to the window. I’ll attempt, but I make no guarantees. I love you both.

I love you too, her parents chorused.

They hung up, and Tessa burrowed into the blanket Kelly had covered her with when she’d passed out on the couch hours before.

Beams of sunlight seared her eyeballs. Tessa groaned and buried her face into the pillows.

Good morning, sunshine.

Kelly had her hair pulled into a braid, deep violet fading into bubblegum pink at the tips. Her pale face was sans her usual makeup, and she was still in a set of cozy flannels.

Tessa tried to sit up, but let out a whine and slumped back down. I can’t move. I’ve aged five decades overnight.

It’ll only get worse if you keep laying on our awful couch. Go have a shower, and I’ll handle breakfast. Contrary to her words, Kelly draped herself over Tessa, squeezing her into a hug before releasing a sound only dogs could hear.

I can’t believe you’re here! I’m going to find you someone perfect to go on a date with so you can fall in love, and then move here so we can be best friends in proper proximity!

Tessa snorted into her pillow. There was no way she was going to meet anyone in the few weeks she was visiting, but she didn’t want to burst Kelly’s bubble. Her best friend’s delusions of grandeur when it came to Tessa moving to Korea, and her love life for that matter, had always been a little out of hand. She never minded since she’d entertained the thought of moving more than once before but hadn’t quite worked up the courage to leave her family and uproot herself.

Kelly’s husband, Min Joo, emerged freshly showered, dressed, and groomed. He wandered into the living room, adjusting his tie, and looking so much like Tessa’s mental expectation of a professor that she couldn’t help but smile. Shining black hair swept over his brow, brushing the top of his round glasses. The pair of them lived simply in a small apartment in the popular expat and tourist district of Itaewon, making their money through Kelly’s vlogging channel and Min Joo’s job teaching business English at one of the local universities.

"Good morning, Tessa-ssi. Did you sleep well?" His face softened considerably when he lifted his gaze from his tie to the tangled pile of Kelly and Tessa.

I did! Minus some jet lag, it was pretty good.

We can start your review of Korean business terminology tonight if you’re feeling awake enough for it. Min Joo fixed the buttons holding his tie in place.

You’re the best. Tessa tried to wriggle free of Kelly. I’ve been reviewing, but I learn a lot better from people.

It’s no trouble. Min Joo smiled. I’d have offered to start last night, but you were out like a light.

Tessa blushed. Sorry about that.

You only drooled on him a little bit. Kelly snuggled in closer.

You’re fine, Tessa-ssi. You didn’t drool.

Tessa’s stomach growled obnoxiously.

Hungry? Kelly sat up and pulled Tessa with her.

Starving.

Go wash up so we can eat. Kelly pushed Tessa off the couch, and towards the bathroom.

Tessa stood under the blistering hot spray until her protesting body limbered up. She emerged from the shower squeaky clean and considerably more awake. Kelly waved her over to assist with breakfast by setting the table, so that they could eat together before Min Joo had to venture off to work.

Tessa inhaled her rice, tofu, and eggs, placating her ravenous stomach.

You two have a good day. I’ll see you tonight for dinner. He kissed his wife, slipped on his shoes, and off he went. Kelly smiled wistfully at the closing door.

You’re too cute, Kel. Tessa poked her friend in the ribs.

Can you blame me? I love him so much.

Oh, trust me. I’m aware. Tessa laughed. From the moment you met him you made sure I knew exactly how much you were into him.

That was almost ten years ago. I was a young’un.

It was sweet then, and it’s still sweet now. I’m glad that you’re so happy with him.

Kelly’s bluebell eyes glinted with mischief.

No, Tessa said.

No?

I know that look. No.

I can’t imagine what you mean. Kelly fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

Just because I’m single doesn’t mean you can start thinking about fixing me up now that I’m conveniently located.

Kelly pouted a pink lip. That’s how things work here though. You meet cool people through your friends and friends of friends. I wouldn’t set you up with anyone bad.

"Kel, please. I’m demi, and you know how stupid people can be about it."

Not everyone will be stupid. If they respect you, they’ll roll at your speed. Regardless, I’m not gonna set you up with a fuckboy. Kelly gazed at Tessa imploringly. Please consider it? Maybe you’ll make new friends.

But I don’t plan on living in Korea. I’m only here for four weeks; that’s not enough to make a proper connection.

You can date without intending to marry. Just have some fun. Everyone is going to be vetted, and I will sic Min Joo on anyone who upsets you.

Tessa snort-laughed at the thought of straight-laced Min Joo starting a brawl for her in his button-down shirt and dress pants.

Fine, but at least let me get used to the time change before you start throwing people at me.

Kelly looked so excited she might burst. So, what’re you feeling, men or women?

Whoever you think would be good is fine. I’m open to anyone.

Cool. Kelly squeezed her cheeks, her smile overwhelming her face. I know a couple people you might like. Let me contemplate. I’ll figure out some double date stuff later in the week.

Tessa rubbed her fingers over her scalp, trying to loosen the tension. Don’t make me regret this.

Never ever, Kelly promised.

They were picking at their lunch and deep in planning what to see around the city when Tessa’s phone pinged.

The readout said it was an email from Elite Studios, the production company making the drama. She held her breath and clicked on it, scanning over the orderly Hangul characters. The nerves returned, swirling in her gut. She’d missed her chance to review business language with Min Joo, but her conversational fluency would hopefully be enough.

They want me to come to a meeting this afternoon.

Already? Jeez, they work fast. Kelly snatched the phone. Hmm, the address isn’t too far from here. I can take you over.

Tessa was loath to trade her pajamas for actual clothes, but she could hardly show up to a meeting in cat-patterned flannel pants. She decided on black skinny jeans with knee-high leather boots, paired with a red cardigan. It turned into a three-quarter-length sleeve on her, wrists and forearms bare though she’d bought it full length. Her arms were too long to fit most off-the-rack clothing properly. She chose to focus on colour, rather than fit, which meant it was red and gorgeous with her bronze skin and dark hair, which also meant it was a little confidence boost she desperately needed.

Hours later Kelly drilled her on local custom as they rode the subway. They’ll most likely have a work dinner after this. It would be super rude of you to refuse to go, and they’ll probably all drink tonight. If someone offers you a drink, you have to take it unless you have some kind of health or religious reason to decline.

Why? She’d never gotten used to drinking, and wasn’t eager to acquire familiarity. So many customs had never come up with her grandmother that she’d have to contend with now that she was in her homeland.

Tradition? Kelly shrugged and continued rattling off etiquette to help Tessa avoid embarrassment. If all else fails, play the dumb foreigner, and they’ll give you a pass.

Does that happen to you a lot?

Not as much anymore, but let me tell you, it’s saved my ass a few times. You’ll be fine though. I think. You’re obviously not from here so they should be pretty lenient.

They moved with the crowds off the subway and up to the street where a sleek office building glinted in the sun. A stiff-faced man in uniform opened the door for them when they arrived.

Hale Tessa-ssi? A petite woman approached them, heels clacking against the floor. Her hair was cropped to her shoulders, and she was dressed in a smart black blazer and pencil skirt combo.

Tessa nodded.

My name is Kim Ha Yun. Welcome to Elite Studios. She introduced herself in rapid Korean. Oh— she switched to English, —I forgot to ask. Will you be needing an interpreter?

I don’t think so? I’m mostly fluent, so I should be fine. She sent up a silent prayer to her grandmother for only speaking Korean to her growing up so she’d learn.

Excellent. That will make things much smoother. Ha Yun turned her attention to Kelly. Will you be joining us?

No. Kelly shook her head. I just brought Tessa. She’s staying with me while she’s in Seoul.

Ha Yun nodded briskly.

I’ll head home. Call if you need anything. Kelly nudged Tessa forward.

Stay? Tessa whispered, already panicking.

I can’t go to a business meeting with you when I have nothing to do with the drama. That would be like taking your mom to a job interview. She gave Tessa a tight squeeze. You’re going to do awesome. Love you, Tess!

Anguish roared through Tessa as Kelly retreated from the building, leaving her with this stranger. Worry over her ability to hold her own in a professional setting gnawed at her gut, but she was trying to be optimistic.

Her stomach twisted into knots, and she shoved shaking hands into her pockets.

The interior of the building was immaculate and intimidating, shining marble floors, tall windows, and high ceilings. Ha Yun waved her along and led her to the elevators. They rode up to the top level and disembarked into a pristine white hallway. Cast photos of previous dramas lined the walls, and Tessa recognized more than a few faces.

This way, Tessa-ssi, Ha Yun urged her onwards.

Tessa followed obediently, emerging into a room where every eye turned towards her. She scanned the attendees, noting the plethora of people in suits, before getting to a few that were more casually dressed. One of them turned towards her and stopped her heart instantly.

Holy. Shit. It’s UpBeat!

Chapter 2

Tessa

He sat there, watching her, with his perfectly swept and styled black hair, flawless pale skin, and full lips that she definitely needed to stop staring at. Right. Now. She dragged her gaze up, zeroing in on golden-brown eyes she knew too well. They were framed by thick lashes that made her envious in insecure moments. He’d been her bias, her absolute favourite idol of any K-pop group, for the better part of eight years.

Somehow he was even more beautiful in person.

Her pulse buzzed in her ears, a steady drone that narrowed the world down to him.

Hale Tessa-ssi. Ha Yun’s voice snapped her back to attention.

Tessa’s fingers itched to text Kelly immediately, to express some of the silent scream rapidly building in her throat.

Ha Yun went around the circle, introducing the staff, director, producers, and designers before moving on to the actors. This is Brooks Lily-ssi who will be playing our female lead, Bridie Murphy.

Lily smiled at Tessa. Her sandy hair was cropped by her ears, blue eyes bright with excitement.

Tessa’s eyes burned dangerously. Lily exactly matched what she’d imagined for the character. Her name was unfamiliar, but then it wasn’t entirely common for white actresses to get leading roles in Korean dramas.

Tessa turned to the idol, scarcely able to breathe.

And this is Baek Eun Gi-ssi. He will be playing our male lead, Lee Do Yun, Ha Yun said, pointing out the man responsible for Tessa’s internal crisis.

She’d seen all the names in the email they’d sent her once casting was confirmed, but she’d never in a million years thought it was that Baek Eun Gi. At best she’d assumed it was an up-and-coming actor whose information had been drowned out on her searches by the idol’s popularity.

Baek Eun Gi, or UpBeat, as he was more commonly known to his fans, had the voice of a goddamn angel. She’d discovered his music during a particularly difficult period of her life and had followed his career ever since. She loved all of his group, 24/7, as was only proper, since they were all talented, hardworking, and beautiful. But UpBeat… He was special, and being face to face with him now eroded her ability to be a reasonable human being.

Hale Tessa-ssi, are you well? Ha Yun set a gentle hand on Tessa’s shoulder.

Tessa bowed quickly and muttered an apology, accepting a glass of water from one of the assistants. She sipped it carefully, hands shaking.

Thank you for joining us, Hale Tessa-ssi, the executive producer said, organizing a stack of papers. Was your flight pleasant?

She had grown up speaking Korean with her father and grandmother, but exhaustion and jet lag had her brain working overtime to decipher the words.

Yes. Tessa nodded. It was, thank you.

You said you had no concerns with the script when you read it. Is that still your opinion? the executive producer asked.

The script is fine, she replied. The writers did a wonderful job.

He nodded, apparently satisfied.

Other voices mixed together, discussing the fine details of what was to come. Tessa wasn’t all that familiar with most of the business vocabulary and missed too much to get a grasp on what they were talking about. She caught filming and Busan, vaguely recalling that there would be on-site filming in the southern city long after she’d arrived back home. Ha Yun said something about emails and schedules, but the explanatory words eluded her.

Yawn after yawn was stifled. So much ice water had been consumed to keep herself alert that her bladder threatened to burst. She blinked her burning eyes rapidly, trying in vain to be fully present, to overcome the jet lag. It was a losing battle as she tried to listen for her name just in case, but after an hour or so of it not coming up, she became less diligent. Every time her attention drifted she noticed UpBeat all over again, and it sent a spike of adrenaline zipping through her.

They toured the studio with Tessa trailing behind her leads. She’d never been to a film studio before, and stared in wonder at the intricate lighting and camera systems. Several sets had been constructed, including the trade ship interior and the inside of a hanok.

Ha Yun kept close to her side, so she didn’t have a chance to pull out her phone and spam Kelly. The overhead lights blazed, seemingly growing brighter the longer she was there. She rolled her shoulders to release some of the tension there, but it didn’t help.

UpBeat paused in front of the costume rack. Hanbok and Georgian-style clothing hung in neat rows of bright silks and sturdy, plain cotton. His gaze flickered back to her, and she froze, heart whipping like a pinball. Tessa wanted to talk to him, to smoothly introduce herself, and have a story to take back to Kelly, but every time she worked up a fractional amount of courage, her tongue turned to lead in her mouth and nothing came out.

She was hopeless. The opportunity of a lifetime stood in front of her and she couldn’t even form a sentence.

If she had a little less dignity, she might have managed, but she decided that silence was infinitely safer than making a fool out of herself. She wished Kelly were here. Her bestie had no barriers at all to this sort of thing and could have helpfully paved the way to Tessa having an actual conversation.

Tessa imagined it in her head. She would offer a charming smile, warm and sweet. He would be intrigued, asking her about her home and her writing. She’d provide witty commentary, and he’d laugh. She loved his laugh.

A low, pulsing sensation climbed up the base of her skull, interrupting her fantasy.

Her dreams of avoiding a migraine were dashed. She should have expected it with the jet lag and the stress, but somehow she’d hoped it would skip tormenting her, just this once. Nausea and more pain than she could tolerate would come along in a timely manner, as it always did with her migraines. It distracted her from UpBeat’s proximity, which was likely for the best.

Reservations for dinner are in twenty minutes, the executive producer said as they reached the end of their tour. We can all walk over together. Everyone moved to follow him, and Tessa focused back in a moment later when Lily rested a hand on her shoulder.

Not quite over the time change? she asked, blessedly in English.

Tessa shook her head. She wanted nothing more than to tip over and fall asleep on the couch. Not quite.

Lily chattered away in her charming British accent while Tessa half-listened, following along with the group as they headed down the street to a restaurant.

Tessa checked her phone and sent a message to Kelly.

Tessa:

I AM WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE OF MY BIAS AND I’M DYING

Kelly:

WHAT?? WHERE? WHY? HOW? Did you ACTUALLY touch him? I need details!!!

Tessa:

He’s playing the LEAD! I’m going to get to see him every time I’m on set and I’m so awkward. We’re heading to the work dinner now and I just want to nap. My head hurts :(

Kelly:

Min Joo looked very concerned over the sound I just made XD

I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING! They’ll keep you out late, but call if you need anything <3 I’m expecting a much better update later so be prepared to spill every single impression!

The endless supply of rice, pork belly stew, and banchan side dishes perked Tessa up a little as she mechanically lifted her chopsticks to her mouth. Unwilling to appear rude, she accepted a drink of soju from Ha Yun who sat to her left, and then another as Lily refilled her glass. She shoved down her natural reaction to shudder as the tang of liquor bathed her tongue, leaving warmth blooming in her chest.

UpBeat passed her another shot, and she smothered a pitiful sound as their fingers brushed one another. She kept stealthily pinching herself under the table to be sure, for the hundredth time, that he was actually right there.

Maybe next time she saw him it wouldn’t be so embarrassing.

The evening lasted for three more hours, and several more shots, before people got restless about needing to head home. Most of them packed up quickly, eager to leave. Tessa was considerably more intoxicated than she’d have liked. She picked up her purse and excused herself to use the washroom, using chairs along the way to balance herself. The pulsing sensation in her head had slowly grown to a throbbing ache that squeezed her entire skull. Migraine auras flooded the periphery of her vision, an insistent swirling that blurred the world into static. She stumbled when she reached the doors and slipped inside, bracing her arms on the sink.

Her stomach heaved, and she lurched into one of the stalls, emptying her dinner into one of the toilets. She whimpered. A waste of amazing food. Staggering to the sink, she splashed cool water on her face and dried it off carefully to avoid smearing her makeup. The gloss of pain and fatigue was heavy in her reflected gaze.

Tessa fished through her purse for her painkillers. She cursed, remembering they were useless to her anyway since she couldn’t take them after consuming alcohol.

A yawn cracked her jaw, and she swayed on her feet.

Tessa turned back to the door, heading into the restaurant as a wave of nausea and lightheadedness knocked her flat.

Chapter 3

Eun Gi

BAEK EUN GI STEPPED out of the men’s bathroom and tripped over an ornamental plant when someone collided with him. He steadied himself on the wall, one arm wrapped around the person’s shoulders to keep them from tumbling to the floor.

What on earth? Hey! He jostled the writer a little. Are you okay?

She didn’t answer, instead sinking to her knees, her hand pressed to her mouth. He kneeled next to her. There was sweat on her brow and no response save a quiet groan when he gently shook her.

He hoisted her up bridal style and peeked around the room to find that the rest of their party had vacated the restaurant.

I was gone two minutes, he grumbled. How did they all leave so fast?

He sighed, shifting the writer in his arms. ‘What am I supposed to do with you?’

Eun Gi flagged a waiter and awkwardly maneuvered the writer’s dead weight. Can you find her a spot to rest for a few minutes? I have a car service on the way already.

The waiter bustled off to do just that. The restaurant was empty, and the waiter arranged a line of chairs for Eun Gi to lay her down. Eun Gi checked her phone and found it unhelpfully password protected.

He phoned Kyung Mi. Their manager was a terrifyingly efficient woman, but Eun Gi had long since outgrown being intimidated by her. Female managers in the industry were extremely rare, and Kyung Mi took her job very seriously.

Eun Gi, what’s wrong?

Why would you think something’s wrong?

You don’t call me unless it’s important.

I need to find out the writer’s address.

Do I want to know?

Eun Gi flushed when he realized how creepy that must have sounded. She’s with me right now, but not well. I have no idea where she’s staying.

Let me do some digging, and I’ll get back to you. Stay safe.

Thank you. Hanging up, he noticed that the car he’d ordered had pulled up. He shook the writer’s shoulder.

She peeled open one eye.

Are you okay? he asked again in English, figuring she might be too out of it for a foreign language. Do you need to go to the hospital?

Migraine, and maybe drunk, she mumbled. I’ll be fine, just…need sleep.

She dropped off again.

He chewed his lip. His home wasn’t far from the restaurant. If she didn’t need a hospital, and Kyung Mi couldn’t find out where she was staying, then he could always take her there. The car beeped its horn.

Eun Gi muttered a curse.

He carted the writer into the backseat and wrangled the seat belt into place. Eun Gi stared up at the starless sky in exasperation. Theoretically, it should be safe to take her home until he could get her to where she belonged, but he hated not being sure. She had clearly recognized him, but he was used to