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    Parenting in a Tech World: A handbook for raising kids in the digital age
    Parenting in a Tech World: A handbook for raising kids in the digital age
    Parenting in a Tech World: A handbook for raising kids in the digital age
    Ebook199 pages3 hours

    Parenting in a Tech World: A handbook for raising kids in the digital age

    By Matt McKee and Titania Jordan

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    How do you know when your child is ready for a smartphone? Which apps are the most dangerous for my 13-year-old? What do I do if I catch my child watching porn? How do I get to a place of trusting my kid with social media? How do I spot signs of trouble in my kid from their use of

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherIRL Publishing LLC
    Release dateOct 13, 2020
    ISBN9780578733166
    Parenting in a Tech World: A handbook for raising kids in the digital age
    Author

    Matt McKee

    Matt McKee is passionate about the intersection of parenting and technology and considers it one of his specialties, having spoken at places like SXSW, CES, and the National PTA. He likes to say he's just another guy trying to make a difference. Matt has helped found three tech companies over the course of his career and invested in more than a dozen others. He's also the author of Parent Chat: The Technology Chat for Every Family, which has enabled him to share what he's learned about raising kids in the digital age.

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      Book preview

      Parenting in a Tech World - Matt McKee

      Cover_white-01.png

      Cover

      Parenting in a

      TECH WORLD

      What People Are Saying:

      Technology is the most powerful tool your child will have access to. This book is a great investment in yourself, your child and their future.

      — Blake Canterbury, Founder of Purposity.com, Entrepreneur, Speaker

      I was very blessed to have an amazing Mom and Dad. I learned so much from them and have benefited from their wisdom countless times. And yet, there was one area where they couldn’t help Wendy and me very much — how to parent in a high-tech world. It’s why Titania and Matt’s book is a gift to all of us parents. We don’t have to parent out of fear. We don’t have to put our heads in the sand and pretend social media doesn’t exist. And most of all, we can win the technology battle. Yes, you can lead your kids through it well. This is the parenting book you’ve been waiting on and you’ll be better because of it. And so will your kids.

      — Jeff Henderson, Lead Pastor of Gwinnett Church, Author of Know What You’re FOR: A Growth Strategy for Work, An Even Better Strategy for Life

      Titania Jordan and Matt McKee have written what most parents of teens and tweens want: A complete and straightforward book on how and why to best manage their child’s digital activity. Regardless of your technical skills, you’ll find this book as a critical guide to keep your family safe online — without having to pull the plug on the good that technology can also bring to your kids.

      — Stephen J. Smith, Author of Social Media & the Adolescent Digital Tribe and President of A Wired Family

      "Parenting in a Tech World is a parenting resource based on positive psychology using technology to encourage family bonding and healthy interaction. Highlighted are the positive opportunities technology offers to help children learn and develop the skills to prosper and stay safe as they engage the wider world around them. Parents are given straightforward knowledge, strategies, and advice on how to use technology to develop positive relationships with their children and how to keep them safe."

      — Thomas K. Pedigo., Ed.D., ABMP, Licensed Psychologist, Board Certified Medical Psychologist, Co-Founder of Esteem Therapeutics

      Titania Jordan and Matt McKee have created something truly wonderful. The conversation around parenting, kids, and tech isn’t always easy, but it’s also not going away anytime soon. They’ve woven together an incredible and practical guide for how to dive into some of the most scary conversations and come out on the other side.

      — Jelani Memory, Founder & CEO of A Kids Book About

      "Raising children in today’s world filled with technology is no easy task. We are the first generation of parents that has to raise children in both the physical and virtual worlds at the same time. Oftentimes, parents are intimidated by moderating their children’s technology use; Parenting in a Tech World is an approachable guidefor parents that provides direction on how to get the conversation started with their children to raise successful children in a challenging environment."

      — Ben Halpert, Founder & President of Savvy Cyber Kids

      Parenting in a Tech World:

      A Handbook for Raising Kids in the Digital Age

      Copyright ©2020 by Titania Jordan, Matt McKee,

      and Bark Technologies, Inc.

      IRL Publishing

      3423 Piedmont Road NE Suite 360

      Atlanta, GA 30305

      Cover design by Sean Chancey

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, website or broadcast.

      Website addresses and other sources of information listed throughout this book are offered as resources to you. These resources are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of the authors or Bark Technologies, Inc., nor do we vouch for their content.

      ISBN 978-0-578-73315-9 (hardcover)

      ISBN 978-0-578-73316-6 (e-book)

      Printed in the United States of America

      First Edition: October 2020

      1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

      Dedications

      Titania Jordan

      This book is dedicated to the awesome team at Bark, who works hard 24/7/365 to educate, empower, and protect families. This book is also dedicated to my family, whose unconditional love and unwavering support carries me through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Finally, but foremost, this book is dedicated to God — who continues to open doors where I only see walls.

      Matt McKee

      I dedicate this book to my wife Jessica and my two sons Patriot and Azlan. Without them this book about family would not mean much.

      Acknowledgements

      Behind every work of passion, there are a multitude of people and experiences that shape the work. We (Titania and Matt) will attempt to thank a few key people who helped bring this work to life.

      We owe a big Thank you to Jennifer Wilder — without whom this book would still be a notes file on our laptops. Jennifer made sense of our words, brought thoughts together, and shaped this book into a parenting guide that’s useful and makes sense. Thanks, Jen!

      To the team at Bark and our extraordinary leader, Brian Bason, we thank you for believing that families can have a healthy relationship with technology. Thank you for the passion and countless hours you put into helping keep kids safe online. You inspire us, and lead us to be better stewards of the power of technology.

      You can’t have a book in the modern age without beautiful resources, so we’d like to thank MB Bell, Gabrielle Parris, Uduak Ita, and Sean Chancey for their incredible design skills — not only in this book but everywhere you encounter the Bark brand online and in real life.

      Additionally, we would like to thank Haley Zapal, Dan Grammer, Jodie Sherrill, Krista Smith, Leslie Rogers, Jasmine Willman, Brynn-Marie Kloster and Jordan Bissell for staying up-to-date on the latest trends, demonstrating unparalleled dedication to the crafts of writing and community building, and helping to shape this book.

      Writing a book would mean nothing if nobody were to read it, and that would be a huge bummer. We’d like to thank Adina Kalish, Justin Hackney, and Caroline Scruggs for helping us share this labor of love with the world.

      We have learned so much from other parents, particularly in the Parenting in a Tech World Facebook group community. Thank you to every member for engaging, building each other up, sharing information, and providing a safe place to gain confidence and wisdom about how to raise our children to use technology in healthy ways.

      Though there are too many to list by name — invariably someone would be left out — we want to thank the countless experts and leaders who have shared their knowledge with us graciously and generously. Experts who have invested time and energy into helping us guide you — the parent, the reader — toward safety online. They have shared their ideas, opinions, best practices, first-hand experiences, research, and passion with us, and we are eternally grateful.

      Throughout my (Titania) career in tech, I have grown acutely aware of its sheer power. As I simultaneously became addicted to social media and a mother in the span of just a few short years, I realized how necessary it was going to be for me to play a part in cultivating digital citizenship in my family. This sparked a passion that would ultimately lead me to help equip families all across the world with the information and tools needed to maintain a healthy relationship with technology. Without the support of my family — and the training ground for kids and tech it has provided — I wouldn’t have found this calling.

      Over my lifetime I (Matt) have been around incredible leaders, parents, and role models. Having access to them so that I could ask them questions and learn from them is more valuable than I will ever really know. Having grown up with two parents who are still living and still married to each other today is also invaluable. I am not sure how I picked the long straw but I am grateful. I can tell you that I am not the best parent in the world or even the world’s greatest dad, but what I have learned over the years I will continue to share. I hope you find this useful, and if nothing else it might help you and your family build a better relationship.

      Contents

      Introduction

      Define the Win

      Win the War, Not Every Battle

      Where is Tech Today?

      Learning Technology & Social Media

      Right Questions to Ask

      Wrong Questions To Ask

      Conversations & Modeling

      Creation vs. Consumption

      Moving From Control To Influence

      The Tech Spectrum

      Tired of Keeping Up

      Passwords Are Doorways

      The New + What To Do

      It Takes A Village

      Good Digital Citizen

      Be On The Lookout

      Help Me, I Don’t Do Tech

      The Data

      Conclusion

      Chapter 1

      Introduction

      🧐

      Let’s start with our why. Having worked at the intersection of parenting and tech for the past two decades, we see the current state of parenting in a world that has never existed before, and how much pain, confusion, and frustration exists. Also, being the eternal optimists we are, we also see the opportunity that exists for education and support for society as a whole. And we have high hopes that, if followed, the steps outlined in this book will positively change the trajectory of our most vulnerable population. Since time is of the essence, let’s waste none of yours.

      We intend to give hope instead of fear

      Will we be talking about hard, sometimes triggering issues? Absolutely. Will addressing the elephants in the room make them seem a lot smaller and less scary? Definitely.

      We include action steps along the way

      As a practice, we don’t like to present problems without offering solutions. For every tough issue we outline, we’ll give you the best next steps to help you in this parenting tech journey.

      We provide resources to help when you don’t know what to do

      Do we know everything there is to know about parenting and tech? Definitely not. That’s why we enlist the help of a variety of sites and experts to give you the best, most up-to-date insights for how to do this thing called parenting in a tech world well.

      We’ve built a community to support you when something happens

      How many times have you heard the phrase it takes a village and kind of rolled your eyes until it hit you one day that it’s so very true? We have that village for you — both in a closed Facebook group called Parenting in a Tech World¹ as well as through the Bark app available for both iOS² and Android devices.

      Here’s why we care so much about this topic…

      Afraid, ignorant, overwhelmed... or all of the above

      Most parents we know feel one of three ways about technology when it comes to their children. They’re afraid of technology and the damage it could cause. They’re ignorant of technology and don’t know what it can do or what they can do about it. Or, they’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start with technology and all of its small nuances, settings, or features that could lead their child into scary territory. Whichever it is — feeling afraid, ignorant, or overwhelmed — almost all parents we know feel like they’re always behind. Even if they have the latest gadgets and software, they live in uncertainty — fearing that the next technological gizmo or software update will make them irrelevant as parents.

      Irrelevance is scary

      Feeling like you’re irrelevant as a parent is a strong feeling. It’s not just a feeling of being uncool or left out — no one wants to be the uncool parent. The more painful part of irrelevance, however, is that your relationship with your children seems stripped of purpose. Being irrelevant to your children means being unable to influence or guide them. And that’s scary. We know, because we’ve felt that way sometimes.

      Dad, I don’t want other kids to see what I’ve seen

      The events that led to my (Matt)

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