On Making Choices
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About this ebook
Margaret Silf
Margaret Silf is a writer and a frequent leader of retreats and conferences. She has been trained by the Jesuits in accompanying people in prayer and is author of One Hundred Wisdom stories and One Hundred More Wisdom stories, as well as The Wisdom of St Ignatius of Loyola. She has been described by The Tablet as 'one of the most talented spiritual writers'.
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Book preview
On Making Choices - Margaret Silf
Not just half a dozen, but scores, even hundreds of them, every day.
The range of choices we face in daily life
seems to grow exponentially,
and so does the accompanying stress.
Making choices has become something of a full-time activity in an increasingly complex world.
It’s a skill that is demanded of us constantly in our everyday living.
Is it something we can learn to do well?
Or is it just a matter of reacting more or less blindly to the demands of the moment?
And is there anything we can do to reduce some of the stress that life’s unending choices place upon our time and our quality of life?
The aim of this little book is to help make the task of making choices less stressful, more focused and more fruitful.
It makes use of a few simple tools that combine the wisdom of ancient spiritual traditions with the commonsense of the twenty-first century.
It explores five aspects of choice-making:
Clearing the decks. Some choices are far more important than others. Some are not really ours to make. How do we sift the wheat from the chaff?
Starting where you are. We can only make sound choices from the place we actually find ourselves, not from where we wish we were, or think we ought to be. How do we learn to be true to ourselves?
Reading the signposts. Life provides us with teachers. Wisdom from outside ourselves, and wisdom from within. How do we read these signposts?
Choosing for the best. How do we turn our compromises and collusions into choices that reflect the very best in us?
Seeing it through. Making a decision is one thing. Implementing it is another. What if we make mistakes? Can we change course if we get things wrong?
Using the book
This is a book for browsing.
The kind of book that you might pick up
when you are facing a major decision,
or feeling overwhelmed by lots of minor ones.
Depending on where you are right now, you will find different aspects of the art of choice-making helpful. Use the contents page and the running headings to find the section that most speaks to where you find yourself.
It is a book of suggestions, not a rule book. There is no ‘answer book’ for dealing with life’s choices. In every case we have to work it out for ourselves. The solutions that work in life are the ones we discover for ourselves, not the ones we find in the books.
So blend anything you find helpful in these pages with a large measure of your own experience and your own life-wisdom.
This book offers you a mixing bowl and a few spoons, and the encouragement to trust the processes of your own heart and mind.
Do you have to engage with every choice that presents itself?
If you look closely at the way you make your choices, you may notice certain patterns.
Some issues are important to you. You engage with them and make your choices about them.
Some issues go beyond your own control. You have to leave the choices, at least in part, to others. You delegate the choosing to people you trust to make choices on your behalf.
Some issues may be important, but also potentially