Magdalena
By Candi Sary
2.5/5
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About this ebook
"Beautifully written and satisfyingly creepy, this is one of the most poignant and original ghost stories I've ever read." -Mark Haskell Smith, author of Blown
In a small, secluded town that thrives on gossip and superstition, Dottie offers plenty of both when the scandal breaks about a missing girl, a ghost, and the affair that started it all. Having suffered a history of miscarriages, reclusive Dottie develops a strange motherly interest in her 15-year-old neighbor, Magdalena. Somewhere between fantasy and reality, Dottie finds new life in her relationship with the mysterious girl. But Dottie's entanglements with Magdalena, a curious centenarian, a compelling stranger, an ex-mobster, and a murder of crows thrusts this once cloistered woman into a frenzy of public scrutiny. To quell the rumors, Dottie puts pen to paper and discovers something as frightening as it is liberating—her voice.
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Magdalena - Candi Sary
Praise for Magdalena
Sary’s instinct for the miraculous is indeed strong in this tender novel that lovingly captures the yearning for human connection.
-Donia Bijan, author of The Last Days of Cafe Leila
I was transfixed by this novel set in a town suffused with ghosts figurative and literal, and moved deeply to witness an eccentric woman’s grief transmuted into a gripping testament to the power of the individual imagination.
-Antoine Wilson, author of Mouth to Mouth
"Magdalena is a unique and beautiful story, one framed by a mystery that propels the reader swiftly through its pages. Sary’s tale of love, loss and maternal devotion pulls hard at the heartstrings and is impossible to put down."
-Diane Haeger, best-selling author of Courtesan
In a small seaside town haunted by ghosts and run by the Catholic church a woman finds unexpected power in telling her own story. A quirky and suspenseful read!
-Katya Apekina, author of The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish
"Is it possible to write a modern day ghost story that’s also a poignant tale about love, loss, and redemption? Candi Sary has done just that with her second novel, Magdalena. Shirley Jackson fans will be kicking up their heels."
-Barbara DeMarco-Barrett, author of Palm Springs Noir (Akashic) and host of Writers on Writing
"Ghostly and mysterious yet rooted in the claustrophobic reality of a small town, Magdalena investigates a woman’s search for connection to the idiosyncratic people who cross her path, and most of all, to herself. This dark and delicate novel is a mesmeric read."
-Siel Ju, author of Cake Time
"Magdalena took me into a world of obsessive love and the desperation we all have for connection in this world and the next. Candi Sary lured me into the heart of Dottie, her misfit narrator whose loyalty carries her up and out of loneliness and tragedy. Once you get started, you won’t put it down and you won’t want it to end."
-Mary Castillo, author of The Dori O. Paranormal Mystery Series
"Magdalena is a ghost story about the living, in which the ghosts are less haunting than the lives of the characters themselves. Candi Sary tells an honest and heartfelt story about outcasts and the ghosts that haunt them, as they struggle to find their place in a small town rife with gossip. Executed with enchanting prose, the story unfolds with such a captivating sequence of events that it is hard to put down and even harder to forget."
-Amy R. Biddle, author of The Atheist’s Prayer and co-founder of Underground Book Reviews
"Candi Sary’s newest novel, Magdalena, follows her central character, Dottie, as she maneuvers through her small life, small town, and unfortunate circumstances. We watch as she seeks comfort in a young girl’s presence, or is it obsession? Sary’s mesmerizing writing style envelopes the reader in the dreamlike reality of Dottie’s nontraditional ways of overcoming grief."
-Nancy Klann-Moren, author of The Clock Of Life
This compelling novel tells the story of a hero’s journey achieved by a woman. Candi Sary’s astonishing fable locates us inside Dottie’s mind as she traverses the ghostly underworld of Sam’s Town and discovers her own power to rescue herself, teenage Magdalena, and the entire town.
-Stephanie Golden, author of Slaying the Mermaid: Women and the Culture of Sacrifice
"Sary draws us into a paranormal tale that feels absolutely real, heavy and creepily familiar. Layers of a mysterious past draw the reader into the narrator’s world, a lonely woman who carries the weight of more than one ghost. Absolutely impactful, Magdalena is a clearly told, multi-layered drama that pulls us into a troubled town and a haunted life—even compelling the reader to confront their own phantoms."
-Dominic Carrillo, author of Acts of Resistance
Magdalena
Candi Sary
Regal House Publishing
Copyright © 2023 Candi Sary. All rights reserved.
Published by
Regal House Publishing, LLC
Raleigh, NC 27605
All rights reserved
ISBN -13 (paperback): 9781646033348
ISBN -13 (epub): 9781646033355
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022942692
All efforts were made to determine the copyright holders and obtain their permissions in any circumstance where copyrighted material was used. The publisher apologizes if any errors were made during this process, or if any omissions occurred. If noted, please contact the publisher and all efforts will be made to incorporate permissions in future editions.
Cover images and design by © C. B. Royal
Regal House Publishing, LLC
https://regalhousepublishing.com
The following is a work of fiction created by the author. All names, individuals, characters, places, items, brands, events, etc. were either the product of the author or were used fictitiously. Any name, place, event, person, brand, or item, current or past, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of Regal House Publishing.
Printed in the United States of America
Dedication
For Tony, Rusty and Cinnamon
You are my heart
Quote
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality: even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
- Shirley Jackson
Prologue
In my dream they’re both still with me, the girl and the ghost. Their presence is so strong something inside of me, even in sleep, awakens. I watch from above and see myself on my living room couch, a slender woman with the kind of sloping shoulders that come with being too tall. Thin hair, pale skin, I’m not much to look at. There’s a fifteen-year-old girl sitting beside me with long thick hair, warm brown skin, and the kind of confidence that comes with being born beautiful. Somewhere between us is the ghost only the girl can see and I distinctly feel. Nothing happens in my dream. The ghost doesn’t move things around the house anymore. The girl doesn’t busy herself with her phone anymore. We just sit together as if understanding it’s only a dream, and maybe if we stay still enough, we can hold onto this miraculous time together again. While there appears to be no change in the scene for the entire length of the dream, by the end, I notice my shoulders have risen up. I’m sitting tall the way the girl sits. It’s only a slight difference in my appearance but I’m struck by how unusual it looks on me. While the girl and I share few physical characteristics, our silhouettes now resemble each other. It’s as if once someone has come into your life and made an imprint, it can change the very shape of you.
When I wake, I don’t feel changed anymore. Not here in this sad room where they’ve put me. I prefer the lights out so I don’t have to see what I’ve become. I just want to close my eyes and fall back to sleep and dream again about the girl and the ghost, and how we were before I lost them.
1
Magdalena once told me she knew how to cure sadness. She read on that little phone of hers that we all need fifteen minutes of sun every day and without it, depression could set in. Those of us here on the peninsula barely get fifteen minutes a week. The fog comes in over the cliffs in the morning, creeping through town, shrouding all neighborhoods with a thick graveyard effect. We don’t have an actual graveyard, but the landslide all those years ago took enough lives and left enough ghosts behind to bring on that kind of fog. If it does lift around midmorning, a heavy cloud cover still stays most of the day, keeping things gray. I’d always thought my sadness came from the unfortunate things that happened in my life, but according to Magdalena, my gloom might simply be a lack of vitamin D.
From the day she got the phone, she stared into it constantly, seeking answers to all of her questions and even finding new questions she would have never thought of on her own. She fed on its information like meat.
Mushrooms,
Magdalena said. We need to eat mushrooms.
The girl was my only visitor. When she spoke, I hung on to her every word. If we eat enough of them, we’ll get the vitamin D we’re missing from the sun.
I didn’t question her. For weeks, I based all my meals around mushrooms. I made mushroom casseroles, salads, risotto, soups, but I’m not sure it changed me. I’m not sure it changed her. How many mushrooms would it take to replace the sun? I wish I could ask the girl, but she’s gone. Three weeks ago, I lost her for good.
I pull up my sleeves and roll up my pants. My arms and legs are so pale in this light. They look like white maps with long blue roads leading to nowhere. The lighting in my house is soft enough to disguise my pallor, but here in the rest home, the deficiency is glaring. I quickly lower my sleeves and pants again.
Focus, Dottie.
My command is quiet.
I swallow down one of the tiny white pills and sit up straight in my chair. Pen in hand, I look around the dismal room I currently share with Mario. It is a holding cell for the dying. We aren’t dying like the old people in this nursing home. But our town is small. They had nowhere else to put my husband after the accident a decade ago. And they had nowhere else to put me after the devastating incident at my house last week. So now we live together again in room eleven with the beige walls, the brown and yellow floral comforters on our beds, and the slim, dark wood secretary desk beside the bathroom door. The old desk is where I currently sit as I tap my pen on the blank page, trying to gather my thoughts.
Now the cold distracts me. I pull a blanket from the bed and wrap it around me. The air conditioner is dreadfully high. They say it’s to keep germs down, but I sometimes wonder if they’re trying to weed out the weakest of us.
Focus, Dottie, focus,
I say a little louder, closing my eyes.
What do you need to focus on?
someone asks.
Startled, I tighten the blanket around me and turn toward the voice. There is a white-haired lady in a wheelchair at my door. Her face is all wrinkled up like fingertips after a long bath, and her lips seem to be growing inward around her teeth. Thick bifocals, wrapped around her head like goggles, magnify her wet and cloudy eyes. There are some really old people here, but she has to be the oldest.
I didn’t mean to frighten you,
she says, her ancient voice slowly rattling out the words. I heard you from the hall.
I wasn’t trying to be heard. I place my hand over my mouth to show her I’ve no interest in a conversation. I’m hoping my hand gesture will make her leave, but it doesn’t. Instead, she wheels through the small space between the two beds and parks next to me at the desk. Her nightgown is purple and far too big on her. She smells like leftover broccoli.
I’m curious. What do you need to focus on?
she asks again.
It’s going to take some time getting used to this place. I’m not in the habit of answering to anyone, having lived alone for so long.
A letter,
I finally say. She’s so close now, there’s no escaping her. I’m writing a letter. A story really. The rumors are terrible and—
I catch myself before it all comes flooding back. Their ugly words. All the lies. I need to tell my story. It’s the only way to get the truth out.
Her face lights up. You must be Dottie,
she whispers. I nod. I should have known.
Her eyes travel the length of me. I heard about you, the young woman living in the old people’s home.
It sounds strange out loud but worse things have been said about me. How old are you, dear?
Forty-three.
So young.
She shakes her head. It’s just awful what happened to you. How long will you be staying with us?
Well.
I look over at Mario in his bed. His eyes are open, but there’s no telling what he’s thinking as he stares at the ceiling tiles. The Sisters say I can stay with my husband as long as I need. I’ve nowhere else to go.
She leans over the side of her chair to get a closer look at him. Does he even remember who you are?
I haven’t let a day go by without coming to see him.
"But with what happened to him, do you think he can remember?"
Oh, he remembers me.
I won’t let anyone convince me otherwise.
That’s nice.
Her smile is kind. Sometimes I think I remember too much,
she says. Some things I wish I could forget, but the pictures are there in my mind, clear as day.
She sets her bony hands in her lap, and the veins bulge like soft worms. She smiles. Her demeanor is pleasant; it’s just the broccoli smell that’s bothersome.
I notice a pin on her nightgown. It’s gold with blue letters spelling out
centenarian
. I point to it. You’re a hundred?
A hundred and two.
That’s incredible,
I say, feeling a new respect for her. She’s not just an old lady—she’s National Geographic material.
It’s a curse, old age. The lucky ones die young. Freed from these bodies, they can move on. Or, of course, they can stick around.
She raises the few hairs left of her eyebrows, as if I know something about this. I feel her words in my stomach. I don’t respond. She whispers, The ghosts of Sam’s Town are persistent, aren’t they, Dottie?
If you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to my letter.
But we haven’t talked about what happened to the girl yet.
She laces her fingers together under her chin. We need to talk about what really happened to Magdalena.
Hearing her name almost makes me lose my breath. I close my eyes and indiscriminate memories resurface—her blue nail polish, those stolen sunglasses on her head, lemon juice dripping from her fingers, her blood on the linoleum.
Do you know what happened?
the old woman asks. "I mean what really happened to her?" She’s staring at me, waiting for an answer.
I reach for my pen, gripping it like a weapon. Until I write it all down, I’m not talking about it to anyone.
You can trust me, Dottie.
She wheels closer.
I don’t even know you,
I say.
She smiles. It’s a sad smile. Then let’s get to know one another.
She glances toward my husband before leaning forward. The smell is strong, her voice is soft. Is it true that the man,
she asks, who started it all was your lover?
I close my eyes again, to escape her question, but now there he is behind my eyelids—Benjamin. His hand creeps under my dress and he’s massaging my leg. I squeeze my eyes tighter.
Go away!
I shout. Go away!
I am talking to Benjamin, but when I open my eyes, the old lady in the wheelchair is hunched over, wheeling away as fast as her bony arms will take her. I should explain that I was not yelling at her. But I don’t. I stay quiet. While I feel a bit guilty, I’m relieved to see her go.
The poor woman looks so frail heading for the door, like her arms might snap. That’s the other effect of vitamin D deficiency—frail bones. This town is killing all of us.
2
The old lady in the wheelchair is gone, but the room still smells like her. I press the red button on the wall beside my bed.
Yes?
a voice comes through the speaker.
I had a visitor in my room and she left a smell. It’s distracting. Can you bring some kind of deodorizer to get rid of it?
There is a moment of silence. I wonder if I haven’t made my problem clear. It smells like broccoli,
I say. Not freshly cooked broccoli, but broccoli going bad. It was the centenarian lady. Probably just gas, but it’s not going away.
All right, Dottie,
the voice crackles through the speaker. I hear someone laughing in the background. It must be one of the high school volunteers, still immature enough to laugh at flatulence. I’ll send someone over right away.
A young man shows up with Pine-Sol spray and douses my room. A quick misting would have solved the problem; now I’m stuck in the overwhelming stench of imitation pine.
Did you use the whole can?
I ask him.
No, there’s still some left. You want me to spray more?
No!
I say quickly. You’ve done enough.
Oh. Too much? Sorry.
He rapidly moves the door back and forth, as if that might clear the air. It only makes it worse.
I can’t write my letter in here.
For the first time since I moved in with Mario a week ago, I leave our room. Today’s unexpected visitor, the one who came before the Centenarian, brought word that someone wants to hear my version of the story. Someone wants me to write down everything that really happened. This request has turned my life upside down—or rather, right side up. I thought the truth would slowly disappear as the townspeople traded ugly tales about me, but now, this opportunity has arisen to dispel the rumors. Of course I’m afraid to tell the truth. It isn’t pretty. But at least it shows I am human, not the monster they believe me to be.
I should not care what the people of Sam’s Town think of me anymore. They’ve misunderstood me since I was a young girl. As a child, I loved spending time in my imagination. Sometimes I used the stories I found there to replace the real stories of my life. Like the night my mother left my bedroom window open after climbing out of it to go clear her head. She’d gone through my room so my father wouldn’t notice. I told my classmates I left my window open that night to listen to the dolphins and the whales plan a birthday party for a mermaid. I don’t know where those silly stories came from, but they thrilled me. And I thought sharing them would thrill the other kids just as much. I was wrong. I spent lunchtime in Sister Rosario’s office when the teasing got bad. Even when I stopped telling stories, and eventually stopped talking at school altogether, they continued making fun of me. Their unkind treatment has haunted me all my life and yet here I am, a grown woman, still hopeful that maybe this time they will understand me. Like it’s a necessity—food, water, air, understanding.
I grab my robe and slippers to keep warm in this meat locker of a place, and head for the door. The mirror on the wall catches me. I stop and touch the reflection. I see my mother’s worried eyes and nervous lips. I wear my father in my pale complexion and light brown hair. I’m skinny like my mother, tall like my father. Even my fingertips hold memories of them—the tiny scars are like Mother’s signature on me. My parents left town years ago, yet they still creep up on me every now and then. I quickly pull my hands from the mirror and wave their ghosts away.
Stepping from my dimly lit room into the hall, I found the overhead fluorescents piercing. The people in the hall look strange—overexposed like a bad photograph. Glossy, lentil-green floors match the green-and-beige-striped wallpaper. Framed images of the Virgin Mary hang on the walls. These paintings might have an uplifting