Be Calm
By Teen Breathe
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About this ebook
Stress affects everyone—from how well you concentrate to how sad or angry you feel. The editors of Teen Breathe know you face obstacles every day, whether it’s an important school test or your family’s high expectations, and offer this guide with simple tricks for staying calm and in control when it really matters. With ideas ranging from journaling and photography to awareness meditations and mindful walking, you’ll discover the perfect way to cool down, find pleasure, and shine.
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Be Calm - Teen Breathe
Being a teen is stressful. Your parents demanding you act responsibly, pressure to do well at school and in exams, family and friendship dramas, hormones going crazy—no wonder it can sometimes feel overwhelming. You can’t avoid all the stress in your life, but if you can recognize what gets you worked up, then you can learn how to handle it.
LET’S TALK ABOUT STRESS
1 What is stress?
Sometimes everything feels too much. Your parents want you to do things. Your school puts pressure on you. You want to keep up with friends. You feel . . . stressed.
When life is throwing a lot at you, your brain receives stress signals and you can start to get a panicky feeling. This can happen at any time, but it’s usually because a situation or event is making you feel out of control, or you’ve been put under pressure to do something that you find hard.
2 Does everybody feel stressed?
Feeling stressed often comes when things change—right now, it might seem that everything is changing as you drift between childhood and adulthood. Sometimes you wish you were small (and maybe safe) again, sometimes you feel strong and grown up.
Your body is changing. People start asking more of you. Your feelings get more intense and can be difficult to express or control. You start discovering who you are—and who you’d like to become. None of this is easy. So, no wonder you’re encountering new levels of stress in your life. You’re not alone.
3 So some stress is natural then?
It’s very natural to experience some stress when you face new challenges—as you stretch yourself to take on more responsibility or try new things. Feeling stressed for a short period of time can even help by making you feel more alert and propelling you to take action. Remember, the brain actually likes solving problems.
Everyone has different thresholds for stress. You may be able to cope with more stress than a friend, for example, but less than someone older than you. The good news is that no matter your current level, you can learn how to handle stress better.
Learning to face stress and deal with it will make you more resilient and less frightened. You’ll discover an innate strength and courage to be proud of.
HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M STRESSED?
Stress shows itself in different ways—both emotionally and physically.
Here are some signs that you might be feeling stressed:
Lack of focus
Disturbed sleep, constantly tired
Lots of worrying
Snappier or more tearful than usual
More withdrawn
Feeling lonely and alone (with no one to talk to)
Feeling down on yourself
Eating more or less than usual
Not able to disconnect from social media
Panicky or having panic attacks
More controlling or obsessive
Disconnecting from feelings, numbness
Remember that some of these things can also be a natural part of being a teenager, so use your gut instinct.
Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s trouble. It takes away today’s peace
Randy Armstrong
SIX WAYS TO KEEP CALM
Different people have different methods of calming down when they’re stressed.
Here are some techniques you could try. Which one works for you?
1 Speak out
The first thing to do is to tune into, and then voice, how you feel. Take a moment now if you’re feeling stressed. Do you feel a physical sensation—or are you snappy with those around you? Are you feeling lonely and withdrawn, or are you acting out? Getting things out in the open and talking things through with a friend or family member can help you to organize your thoughts.
2 Breathe
Simple breathing exercises—like counting in for three seconds and out for five seconds—may sound simple, but will help when you get that panicky feeling.
3 Relax
Have a drifting time where you have nothing specific to do, without your phone or being in front of a screen. Perhaps write in a journal or simply look out of the window and daydream.
4 Exercise
Any form of exercise, from running to soccer and even yoga, can act as a stress reliever. Physical activity helps bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good chemicals, called endorphins. It also helps you to sleep better. Try a few fast laps of the pool and you’ll often find you’ve forgotten the day’s worries and concentrated only on your body’s movements.
5 Achieve
If you can’t fix your current problem, focusing on a different problem that you can fix can give you a sense of accomplishment.
6 Be generous
As you’re going through your day, try to see the world through other people’s eyes. By getting out of your own head, you’ll see life—and your problems—with a new sense of perspective. Do things for other people. Put yourself aside from time to time and help others: Do the dishes, read to your siblings, or call a grandparent. It makes a real difference to others and it will lift your spirits too.
And if none of that helps?
If you feel your stress is long-lasting or serious, speak to an adult, whether that be a relative or teacher. Listen carefully to the advice they give, even if you don’t like what they have to say at first. Test their ideas out as an experiment—and come up with your own ideas.
Your teenage years are a period of amazing growth and change. It’s likely to be stressful at times but try to stop now and then, take stock, and remember—this is all part of becoming you.
BE THE POND
When lots of emotions are swimming around inside you, it can feel overwhelming. But what if there was a simple way to calm the waters?
Imagine you were looking into a pond with all sorts of fish in it. Then imagine that each one of those fish represented a different emotion you might feel during your day. There’s an angry fish, a happy fish, a sad fish, an excited fish, a bored fish, a jealous fish—all the emotions. If you were sitting in the middle of that pond with those emotional fish surrounding you, you might start to feel overwhelmed.
But what if, instead of being in the middle of this emotional storm, you could just be the whole pond? It’s an idea put forward by The 100hours, an organization encouraging young people to see how they can make a difference in the world. What if you could watch each emotion swim right by you without getting too caught up in all the swirling and splashing about? What if you could realize that although the fish are pretty emotional,