Drop the Struggle: A Transformative Approach to Achieving Your Potential in Sport and Life

Testimonials

A brilliant practical guidebook and psychological kitbag for athletes and coaches written by authors who really get what it's like to be on the frontline of performance, busting unhelpful sports psychology myths and media cliches along the way.

Cath Bishop, Olympian, Culture Coach and Author of The Long Win

An opportunity for Athletes, Coaches, Parents and anyone else wanting to unlock their full potential, with useful toolkits along the way and help think more clearly through life’s obstacles.

Kat Ratnapala, England Netball Future Roses Head Coach

Drop the Struggle is a fabulous well-written, easy-to-understand book that can help you bring out the best version of you in life and sport. Alison and Jenna are skilled sport psychologists who tackle key mental skills in understanding yourself, your performance and life; they are underpinned by the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) theory. A fascinating read with lots of techniques for personal growth. I couldn’t put it down and can’t wait to try some of the techniques myself!

Paul Thompson MBE, Coach of World and Olympic Rowing Champions

Psychology doesn't have to feel like something remote and academic; nor should it involve forcing yourself to think in a particular way. Drop the Struggle is a great place to understand how instead to work alongside your way of thinking, and maximise you at your best.

Annie Vernon OLY, Olympic Silver Medallist and World Champion Rower, Award-Winning Author of Mind Games

Acceptance and commitment therapy applied to sports psychology is genius! Drop the Struggle should be in the kit bag of every student-athlete and on the bedside table of every coach and every athlete-parent.

Dr Pippa Grange, Psychologist and Culture Coach

Understanding how your mind works and how to unlock your true potential – in sport and in life – is a transformational journey to embark on. In this incredibly powerful and practical book, Jenna and Alison will help you find your path as you learn the skills to stop struggling and start thriving. A game changer!

Katie Mobed, Olympic Sport Psychologist

A fantastic book and an ideal training companion that can easily fit into your kit bag. Drop the Struggle provides a toolkit that enables you to challenge thoughts and feelings and use them positively to obtain the skills required to achieve your goals, transforming the impossible into the possible.

Nicki Kelly, World Record Holder and Ocean Rower

This is the book that I wish I’d been given when I was younger. An accessible guide and tool that makes the psychological side of the game that little bit less daunting. Having had the pleasure of working with both Alison and Jenna before, I look forward to applying their expertise to my work, life and sport once more.

Adam Wilson, Chair of Behind Every Kick

This is an amazing resource for all sportspeople, from the Olympian to a junior athlete. It gives the reader a completely different way to think about the mental side of sport. I am really looking forward to applying it to people I work with.

Greg Searle, Olympic Gold Medallist and Inspirational Speaker

Love this book and wish I had it years ago to give to those starting their sporting career! A hugely practical, positive and progressive guide for anyone navigating the ups and downs of their sporting journey. Athletes and non-athletes alike will be inspired to change their mindset on performance – through the thoughtful explanations, impactful practices and encouraging case studies. This book clearly signposts the way to becoming a better performer.

Neasa Russell, Paralympics Ireland Sports Director and Chef de Mission (Paris 2024)

Drop the Struggle gives you a great set of tools to help on your journey. Very clear and relatable, it is sure to be of use to anybody looking to improve the mental side of their life.

Ben Taylor-Matthews, Head Professional, Bristol Real Tennis Club

Implementing the acceptance and commitment approach outlined in Drop the Struggle in my own leadership career has had an immeasurable impact. The Yellow Tail Moth story is particularly poignant, learning to accept my feelings and my own vulnerability as a leader. I progressed quickly into my current Chief of Staff role with an ease and confidence I had never felt before. And now I have a huge toolkit of strategies for when I get knocked off course, as I no doubt will in the future.

Gillian Ormston, Chief of Staff, Thames Valley Office for the Police and Crime Commissioner

A practical guide in simple language that makes sports psychology accessible and understandable for all. A worthy addition to any kit bag whether you are an athlete, coach, parent or anyone else who wants to reach their potential.

JOELIE CHISHOLM, COO GB SNOWSPORT

Jenna and Alison have used the tools from Drop the Struggle with coaches and players across the pathway at Saracens Mavericks. We’ve seen the positive impact on wellbeing and performance that this approach has. Recommended reading for all netballers!

SACHEL GRANT, PERFORMANCE PATHWAY LEAD, SARACENS MAVERICKS

DROP the STRUGGLE

DROP the STRUGGLE

A transformative approach to achieving your potential in sport and life

Dr Alison Maitland and Jenna Ashford

Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in this book is accurate at the time of going to press. The publishers and author(s) cannot accept responsibility for any errors and omissions, however caused. No responsibility for loss or damage occasioned to any person acting, or refraining from action, as a result of the material contained in this publication can be accepted by the editor, the publisher or the author.

First published in 2023 by Sequoia Books

Apart from fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publisher, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms and licenses issued by the CLA. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent to the publisher using the details on the website www.sequoia-books.com

©Alison Maitland & Jenna Ashford 2023

The right of Sarah Swan to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988.

ISBN

Print: 9781914110269

EPUB: 9781914110276

A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library

Library of Congress Cataloguing-In-Publication Data

Name: Alison Maitland & Jenna Ashford

Title: Drop the Struggle/Maitland & Ashford

Description: 1st Edition, Sequoia Books UK 2023

Subjects: B: Philosophy, Psychology, Religion

Print: 9781914110269

EPUB: 9781914110276

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023916300

Print and Electronic production managed by Deanta Global

For Helen Cunningham who believed that the only boundaries are the ones we put there ourselves.

And for Ivy Ashford, who has her whole life ahead of her. Let this book remind you to make those boundaries limitless.

Contents

Introduction

Out with the old, in with the new

Taking action (this bit is really important!)

Who we are

Time to reflect

Part I Developing your skills

1 Your Thinking and Observing Mind

Our brain is built for survival

Thinking vs Observing Mind

Get to know your two minds

What’s in your kitbag?

2 Play in the now

Time-travelling thoughts

How well do you stay in the moment?

Getting practical about being mindful

Grounding and stabilising our thoughts

Playing in the now requires practice

Flexing your attention

Think of it like training Matty

What’s in your kitbag?

3 Drop the struggle with your thoughts

What are thoughts?

Dropping the struggle

Getting better at dropping the struggle

What’s in your kitbag?

4 Accept being uncomfortable

We all face pressure

The relationship between pressure and performance

Our response to pressure is the problem

Are you willing to do something different?

The struggle switch

Saying yes to your feelings

What’s in your kitbag?

5 Do what matters

The journey ahead

The destination – where am I going?

The purpose – why am I going on a journey?

Finding your Values Compass

How do I get there? My sport roadmap

Make a commitment

What is holding you back?

What’s in your kitbag?

Part II Applying the training

6 The confidence choice

The truth about confidence

Do what matters: Confidence as an action

Drop the struggle: It’s normal to doubt yourself

Play in the now: Pay attention

Accept being uncomfortable: The stuck loop

What’s in your kitbag?

7 Create the energy to succeed

Using the Values Compass for motivation

Do what matters: Focus on small actions

Drop the struggle: Give your mind a name

Accept being uncomfortable: Urge Surfing

Play in the now: Move in slow motion

What’s in your kitbag?

8 Embrace setbacks and failure

Setbacks are to learn from

Drop the struggle: I am not my story

Accept being uncomfortable: The discomfort of setbacks

Play in the now: Drop anchor

Do what matters: Go in the right direction

What’s in your kitbag?

9 The onward journey

Enjoy the journey

Choose to stay on track with The Choice Point

A dose of self-compassion when things don’t go to plan

Pack your kitbag

Time to dream big

Notes

Index

Introduction

Whatever it is that has brought you to this book, welcome.

You are here because you’re involved in sport. You want to overcome some of the mental challenges that inevitably come with the highs and lows of sporting performance.

You might have a particular challenge that you are grappling with – lack of confidence, fear of failure, inconsistency, a mental block or simply feeling you’re not fulfilling your potential. Or perhaps you are a coach, partner, parent or supporter of an athlete who is struggling with mental barriers.

It’s a frustrating place to be. We are here to help.

If you’ve tried to get over your mental hurdle, you might be confused and frustrated about why your efforts are not leading to any consistent changes. Or it may be that you have been burying your head in the sand for a while, hoping that one day you’ll wake up and be miraculously free from the psychological struggle.

Either way, the important thing is that you’ve picked up this book. You’ve done the hard part. Now is the time for change.

This is a book for anyone, no matter your level or your sport, no matter your previous experiences with psychology and no matter what your starting point is.

We are here to help you find a long-term solution to your current challenges. To Drop the Struggle while keeping hold of all the things necessary to perform at your best. This book will teach you a sustainable way of dealing with difficult thoughts, managing your emotions and harnessing them to help you perform to the best of your ability, as often as possible.

The solutions in this book are not quick, short-term fixes. You’ll have to do something different. You must let go of old ways of thinking and step into new thought patterns. Think of it like a journey up a mountain, you are at the bottom, looking up. It seems daunting, and you’re not sure if it’s even possible. This book encourages you to take the first few steps and see what a difference it makes. If you find that the journey is rewarding, you may choose to continue. You will likely veer off the path, trip up and want to turn back. But that’s all part of the journey. And with persistence and an open mind, you will make it to the top. It will be worth it.

Out with the old, in with the new

Much of traditional sport psychology focusses on positive thinking. Great if you are able to think positively in your current situation, but what if you’re not? What if you’ve been injured and have to take time out, or you’ve been dropped or excluded from a squad? Or perhaps you are making mistake after mistake, but know you are better than that. You may be suffering from crippling nerves or a loss of confidence, and all the thoughts you have are negative ones.

No matter how much we tell you positive thinking helps, the wonderful machine that is your mind will take your thoughts in all different directions. We are not going to go over old techniques like visualisation, boosting your self-esteem, challenging negative thoughts or relaxation. While these have their place, we want you to try something new. Through research¹ and our own experiences, we now know that there is another way; another way that can and will transform your life and sporting career if you work hard to make it happen.

The technical term for the approach you will learn in this book is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

We will explore what this means; but for now, just know that ACT interventions have shown to lead to higher levels of performance² and improved general psychological well-being.³

This book isn’t about getting rid of thoughts or feelings, but it’s about changing your relationship with them. Drop the Struggle isn’t about removing thoughts from our mind or feelings from our body; it’s about handling them more effectively, so they don’t stop us from being the athlete we want to be. That way we can train and compete to the very best of our ability. From our experience, it’s hard to enjoy what you are doing while you’re trying not to think about something. You can’t be your best self if you are attempting to escape from certain thoughts or feelings.

Let’s do a quick experiment. You’ll need a pen for this …

Complete the sentence: ‘the thoughts and feelings I’d most like to