Desperate

Table of Contents

Содержание

Обложка

Desperate

He is back

Hallucination

Bad morning

Food

Not a saint for sure

Mom

Another bad morning

Mess

The plan

Revenge?

An Encounter with the Devil

Distraction?

The date night

Denial

Feelings?

Worth the vain?

Figure out?

Thoughts

MONEY?

Responsibilities

Chaos

Awkward?

Control?

Good idea?

Epiphany

Upside down

Miserable

Insane

Choose

Silence

Love happened

Not him

Heaven?

Not the end

Who is more Desperate?

Checkmate (bonus chpt)

CoverPage

Содержание

Cover Page

Содержание

Desperate

He is back

Hallucination

Bad morning

Food

Not a saint for sure

Mom

Another bad morning

Mess

The plan

Revenge?

An Encounter with the Devil

Distraction?

The date night

Denial

Feelings?

Worth the vain?

Figure out?

Thoughts

MONEY?

Responsibilities

Chaos

Awkward?

Control?

Good idea?

Epiphany

Upside down

Miserable

Insane

Choose

Silence

Love happened

Not him

Heaven?

Not the end

Who is more Desperate?

Checkmate (bonus chpt)

Desperate

Manvi Upadhyay

Desperate 

Prologue :

Do I really want her that bad? Why is the attraction not wearing off?

Why am I acting this way?

Never have I ever acted so desperate for anyone or anything.

But now, it's like i have completely lost control on myself. I am doing things I have no idea why? I WANT someone i never wanted before.

Sighing,

May be ....

Dean is right that i do seek for attention.

So when i don't get it, i go insane and do things beyond my own control.

What else would justify this action of mine ?

I am stalking someone who used to be my stalker.

WHY?

I don't know

Why is she affecting me so much? How is she doing that without even actually doing anything?

I clenched my fist and averted my eyes for a brief second to calm my nerves.

Heaving out a sigh,

My eyes darted back on the car in front of me.

Some five years ago, she was my girlfriend and one can say

Things only went downhill from there.

Back then as my girlfriend, all i remember was her being crazy, controlling and too possesive. Basically, just a lot for me to take at that time.

Hence, just barely after an year of us dating, she became my ex girlfriend.

But she ....

She didn't give up that easily.

In fact, she only became more desperate after that. From giving unexpected visits to my office to making me jealous to the extent of almost trapping me in a forced marriage.

That woman tried everything!

For a long time, She was madly and deeply in love with me as much as i remember.

Then...

How do I believe her?

How do I believe that once the unapologetic, shallow, insensitive, stubborn, snobbish Queen bee of our college has now changed to an extent that my attention is not even the last thing she want now?

How do I believe that the same madly and deeply in love with me woman no longer wants me?

How do I believe her when she says

I understand several years ago i was laying my heart at your feet but Don't you worry! I don't love you anymore

How?

What changed?

He is back 

Sarah's point of views :

Damn! He is such an EYE CANDY said Sylvia gawking at the Times magazine.

Couldn't agree more! He is a hunk! Shawn Gordon, The man who has billions to his name. The charming CEO of Gordon Enterprise and now, our new boss Crystal added with a grin.

The younger Sarah would have surely gotten offended by those sly remarks for HER Shawn but surprisingly, that's not the case today. Their words had no effect on me.

May be I have actually grown up. May be all those years of being his crazy stalker and plus a year after him abandoning me on our day of marriage and still hopelessly waiting for him to come back was enough eye opener.

A sigh eluded my lips remembering the past. It still makes my heart clench

It obviously still hurts.

But...

It's good!

May be his presence wouldn't affect me either then. I can only hope.

What do you think sarah? Asked Sylvia that got my attention.

Gulping down,

Umn, he is fine i replied looking down at my feet to avoid looking at the magazine in her hand.

Fine? She pouted.

I believe he is more than just fineshe added slyly.

Well... Yeah.

Who would know that better than me? At a point in life, he was everything i wanted.

The man who turned my world upside down.

The Next Day  

I felt the tension surrounded the whole office for his arrival. The half was still wondering why was the shares of the company given to him while the other half looking forward to welcome him. Whereas I, on the other hand just wanted to get over with this welcoming session as soon as possible.

I have went through this day a thousand of times in my head. Practiced to stay calm and collected a dozen times. But now I am here, anything but calm.

In fact, standing here all i want is for him to have some sort of amnesia so he just don't recognise me.

That would be great!

An absurd thought though! But I am still hoping for that to happen.

I could take any small miracle to survive this day.

And this is our BPO section annouced Dean, the secretary head of our company.

He is finally here.

Heaving out a deep sigh,

I stood up from my chair making no effort to walk in the front crowd like others.

Unlike others, i had no intention to get spotted by him.

Definately not!

Just then, he stepped inside our office looking absolutely the same man who was once my everything.

I would be lying if I don't agree that he looked absolutely divine in his well dressed dark blue suit. He looked sharp and sophisticated as always, unchanged of how he looked in those infamous magazine covers.

Damn!

Age is just a number for some.

He is definately one of those few fortunate ones. Timeless!

And with that Dominating and intimidating Aura, one wouldn't want to cross him.

Gosh! Is it even legal to look that good looking?

Urgh! Snap out Sarah!

I shouldn't really care how handsome he is as for he is just my nightmare for me now and well, has always been one.

Welcome sir everyone almost said it out loud together bringing me back to my sense.

Dean introduced some personally while many in groups.

And these are the newest ones in our company Dean said introducing my group of people

Shawn gave a slight nod and was about to turn to walk out just when his head snapped back at my direction and that's when our eyes met.

F*ck!

I swallowed hard as my breath just hitched.

My heart is probably relocated to somewhere in the vicinity of my throat.

I was unable to breathe.

Frozen on my spot, i simply just looked back at my biggest heartache.

Don't recognise me.

Please.

I prayed.

I was too paralysed to do anything else.

It didn't go unnotice how his eyes were slightly widened and facial muscles twitched clearly indicating the only possibility.

Oh great!

I am screwed.

But before I could be absolutely sure, he quickly recovered his cold self demeanor and then averting his eyes quickly, he walked out along with his subordinates.

A sigh eluded my lips in relief.

As soon he was out of my sight, i was able to breathe again. Magically!

Well...

That wasn't bad.

I guess..

Things would be absolutely fine for me if only he avoids me exactly how he did a moment back.

Well...

I can only hope.

Hallucination 

Sarah's point of views :

Pushing the door open, I stepped inside my grim, lower class rented apartment.

Home sweet home.

Not!

Everytime I come back to this gloomy, cold and shabby apartment of mine, i am forced to remember my old life.

My old life...

Man! That feels like a different lifetime now.

Time when i did not have to worry about what to eat or what to dress because i had everything. Everything! Like i was living in a fairy tale.

Not anymore.

I miss that!

That old me who had no worries. I want to be that happy again.

How did my life turned into such a nightmare in a blink?

Sighing,

i placed the keys on the side table and shut the door back.

Walking inside the kitchen, i took out the instant noodle cup and filled it with hot water. They always able to restore my sanity like nothing else.

You can rather have the sandwiches that's in the fridge said the woman I live with, my mom.

She surprisingly looks like in a good mood and that could only mean one thing.

Rolling my eyes,

I am fine I said in low voice putting warm water in the cup.

Sandwiches are healthier than this preservative crap. You need to eat healthy. It will help you get back the glow on your face she insisted.

I perked my head up to have a look at her now.

And why do I need to get the glow back? I couldn't refrain from asking straight away although already being aware of her answer.

Her lips twitched up, a light glint shined in her eyes and taking a sit right adjacent to me she added

It's because Melissa told me about this new handsome hunk in our neighbourhood. He is only 35

That instinctively made me roll my eyes.

Ha!

I was so right!

For her, i am her last ticket to a better life and she believes that can only happen when i marry a rich guy.

Sighing,

The last man you mentioned to me was blind so what's the issue with this guy then? I asked back bluntly maintaining my composer.

That made her mum. It took her some seconds to fix her shock expression

But quickly coming back to her senses, she reverted back

That guy was only blind from ONE eye but with the amount of property he has to his name, such minor and unfortunate defect shouldn't even have been considered as an issue for you to decline his marriage proposal and well, this guy is ....a widower with a very cute angelic son

I shook my head dismissively at her response when she quickly added

But... he is RICH. Extremely rich!

I snorted back.

She is unbelievable!

What's the matter with you? How long do you wish to live a life like this? We need a man that can give you everything she added.

Says the woman who was abandoned by every man in her life.

In fact, she is the reason why my dad or precisely step dad disowned me.

He finally found out that I wasn't actually his blood and like they say bad days don't come with a warning sign.

That also happened exactly after I was left at my own wedding.

Sighing,

Rest is history.

Looking down at my food, I realised my appetite was lost.

Exhaling out a heavy breath,

I stood up to leave without exchanging any further words. There was no point dragging the conversion anyways.

Yeah, you should go to sleep. That would help with those dark circles you got i heard her saying before shutting the bedroom's door.

Her words had no effect on me. Sometimes feeling nothing helps a lot.

TWO DAYS LATER,

My eyes were fixed on my computer screen but an eerie sense of being watched was consuming me from inside.

Ever since Shawn is back in my life, i feel soomeone's eyes always watching me from a far.

Am i hallucinating?

Fu*k!

I should definitely start eating right and sleeping on time.

It's too early for me to lose my mind like this.

Get a grip on yourself sarah!

Shawn's point of views :

What's the matter with her? Why is she is acting so differently?

I wondered watching her from the glass wall.

You seem to be more obsessed with her. Are you sure you are not into her? Said Dean jokingly.

Rubbish! I am just curious i replied back and his brows knitted together at my response.

One thing I know for sure is that deception is something she is very skilled at.

That woman isn't actually what she looks like. She is very sharp and manipulative. She is the same woman who almost trapped me into a forced marriage. I have to make sure she is not having any stupid plans to get back at me i further added.

Almost! But aren't you the one who abandoned her on the wedding day. Cut her some slack Dean replied.

That's why she is a bad news Dean. My dad has still not forgiven me completely for that day but i had to do it. I had no option. I couldn't get myself forced to marry a psycho like her. Now, when things have finally started getting better in my life, she is back again i added with my eyes still fixed on her.

Everything is fine Dean added with a sigh

Heaving out a soft sigh,

Yeah and I'd make sure nothing changes i thought to myself

Bad morning

Sarah's point of views :

I am late again.

Why is it so hard for me to wake up on time? One year, one whole year should be good enough time to have a practice of waking up early but that's not the case with me. Alarm clock is still my biggest enemy and I am just somehow late on almost every second day.

I guess, i just don't fit in well for this kind of life but what option do I have?

Rushing towards the Lift, I waited impatiently tapping on the floor for the lift to show

Come on. I cursed under my breath.

Bryle would eat me alive yet again. He'd embarass me to death this time.

Yet another morning that would begin with his jibes. That guy loves it. He just Loves to start his day with mocking comments and i am his favorite target. As if i have a big target word written on my face.

Just when i thought my morning couldn't get any worse, the lift's door opened and there i am standing face to face with the man I swore to avoid until the very end of my existence for my own good.

Sh*t!

My stomach churned just at the mere sight.

I felt my breath stuck down my throat yet again.

Goo....Goodmorning sir i managed to utter somehow.

The little flicker of surprise that came over his face was immediately replaced back by his cold stone expression before i could even be sure.

He simply just nodded and peeked down back on his phone, while i still stood there outside the lift absolutely frozen, wondering how does he still have such kind of effect on me! My heart was thumping!

Not fair!

Would you rather come in Miss Sarah? We are getting late said Dean bringing me back to my sense.

Umn yes, i am... sorry sir I said walking inside the lift nervously.

I had no idea Dean knew my name until now. Now that's a surprise!

Letting out a soft inaudible sigh, i tried my best to keep a straight face.

In no time, I'd reach my floor and this would be over.

At least that's what I thought.

But ...

The lift was taking forever to reach my floor today. Seriously whose idea was it to keep BPO section in one of the highest floors. Not that i can do anything much about that other than complain all i want in my own head. But it was definitely one stupid idea!

So Miss Sarah, are you always this late? Asked Dean in his usual calm tone.

Oh shit!

I should have taken the damn stairs! I am definitely taking the damn stairs next time.

Though i felt the blood draining my face but still maintaining my composure,

No sir. I am sorry i kept the words minimum.

It better not happen the next time Dean added while Shawn seemed to still be busy with his phone.

Either he is damn good at pretending he doesn't care or he actually doesn't care. Well, both situations actually in my favor.

But before I could take a sigh of relief, i heard his cold voice saying

You'd be fired if you happen to be late the next time Miss Sarah Adam Paulson

And that's exactly when my face lost it's color.

F*ck!

I felt my heart thunder in my chest.

Did he just talk to me?

His voice, it sounded colder than I had imagined it to be.

Cold enough to send chills down to my spine.

Ye...yes sir. I am sorry i finally managed to reply.

Sighing,

Ofcourse, he would fire you sarah. He is definately looking for a reason.

Well, i won't give him one.

The very next moment, the lift's door finally opened and they walked out of the lift. As soon that happened it felt like the air was finally accessible to me again. Like my brain started functioning again and my breathing got normal suddenly.

Heaving out a loud