Anxiety to Ahh-mazing in 60 Days: Transforming Stress, Anxiety and Anger into Sustainable Happiness

Dedication

This book is for my dear family, friends, and inspirations.

To Dad, the embodiment of humor and humility, I hope you're still making people laugh up there.

To Mom, please accept this small token of gratitude for all that you have done for me.

To my enduring wife, for tolerating my shenanigans for a whopping 44 years and counting, you're a legend.

To my children Abhin and Span, and their spouses Amrita and Mayu, you rock.

To my little whirlwinds, Vihaan and Aria, you've brought endless joy to these later chapters of my life.

To Jaya and Srikar, your support is priceless.

To Venu and Raju for your love and unstinting support, you guys are awesome.

To my witty and warm-hearted mother-in-law, and Neeraja, Shaily, Praveen, and Latha for your deep affection.

To all my cousins, too many to name here but I love you all.

To Sesha, Aparna, Ranjit, and Luxmy for the warmth you bring to our relationship.

To my lifelong buddies - Kishan, Mani, Madhav, Prakash, Prashant, Pratap, Radha, Raghuveer, Ramkrishna, Santosh, Sukumar, Surender, TD, TN, Venu, and Vishnu, you keep me young and the jokes top-secret.

To my friends in New Zealand, India, and Australia, you’ve added rich chapters to my life.

To Vanaja, Prahlada Rao, Ramakrishna Rao, Peddannayya, and Mamayya, I wish you were here to join the party.

And to those who enriched my understanding:

Bhiku Bodhi, for making Buddhism accessible to me.

Joseph Goldstein, for helping me weave Buddhist principles into my life.

Dr. Rick Hanson, the neuroplasticity maestro, thanks for expanding my mind.

The HeartMath Institute, for showing that the heart is more than a pump.

Steven Covey, for the enduring lesson: Character speaks louder than words.

Ryan Holiday, for demystifying Stoic virtues and suggesting creative methods to integrate them into our lives.

Above all, The Buddha, the ultimate prescription writer for all kinds of suffering.

With deep gratitude and a chuckle,

Haranath a.k.a. Harry

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Part 1

The Philosophies

Chapter 1

Why I Wrote This Book and How to Use It

Don’t Just Know the What and Why, Discover the How!

Chapter 2

Afflictive Emotions

Anger

Anxiety and Fear

Stress

Draining Emotions

Dealing With Distressing Emotions

Takeaways

Chapter 3

Stoicism

Stoicism Is Not Being Emotionless

Stoic Exercises

Negative Visualization

Choices and Goals

Meditation

Journaling

Takeaways

Chapter 4

The Character Ethic

Habit One: Be Proactive

Habit Two: Begin with the End in Mind

Habit Three: Put First Things First

Habit Seven: Sharpening the saw

Takeaways

Chapter 5

Buddhist philosophy

The Four Noble Truths

The First Noble Truth

The Second Noble Truth

Desire and Aversion

Impermanence (Anicca)

Non-self (Anatta)

The Third Noble Truth

The Noble Eightfold Path

A Good Life

Right Vision

Right Intention

Right Speech

Right Action

Right Livelihood

Right Effort

Meditation

Concentration or Serenity Meditation

Insight or Vipassana Meditation

Takeaways

Chapter 6

Mindfulness in Buddhism

Why Should We Be Mindful?

Being in the Present

Bare Attention and Meta-attention

Ethical Care and Clear Comprehension

Takeaways

Part 2

The Science

Chapter 7

Mindfulness in Modern Science

Evolution of Mindfulness

Attention

Acceptance

Non-judging

Mind-wandering

Takeaways

Chapter 8

Heart rate Variability and Cardiac Coherence

Heart Rate Variability

Cardiac Coherence

The Heart-Brain Communication

Entrainment

The Intuitive Heart

Summary

Takeaways

Chapter 9

Positive Neuroplasticity

Letting Go of the Illusion of Self

Using What the Brain Does to Change What the Brain Does

Building New Habits

The HEAL Protocol

Creating Reminders, Rules, and Rituals

Conthusiasm

Summary

Takeaways

Chapter 10

From Theory to Practice

Embrace the Simplicity of Happiness

The First Step: Identifying Your Values

The Second Step: Consolidating Your Values

The Third Step: Anchoring Values

Meditation

Contemplation of the Body

Contemplation of the Feelings

Contemplation of the Mind

Contemplation of the Mind Objects

Loving-kindness Meditation

Heart Rate Variability Biofeedback (HRVB)

Positive Emotions

Resonance Breathing

The Fourth Step: Living the Values

Physical Exercise

Summary

Takeaways

Part 3

The Protocol

Chapter 11

Holistic Approach to Sustainable Happiness in 60 Days (HASH60)

Step 1: Identifying Your Values

Step 2: Consolidating the Core Values

Step 3: Anchoring Your Core Values

Heart-Centered Mindfulness Meditation (HC-MM) (Part1)

The practice

Heart rate Variability Biofeedback (HRVB)

Heart-Centered Mindfulness Meditation (HC-MM) (Part2)

Cultivating Patience

Cultivating Kindness

Cultivating Contentment

Cultivating Acceptance

Step 4: Living the Core Values

Dealing With In-The-Moment Stress

The Last Step: Physical Exercise

A few last words

Practice, Practice, Practice

Footnotes

References

Appendix A

The Concept of Self in Hinduism

Appendix B

Third Wave Therapies

Appendix C

Neuroscientific Findings Related to Mindfulness/Meditation

Appendix D

Neuroscientific Findings Associated with HRVB

Appendix E

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I am indebted to several individuals and organizations who have played a vital role in bringing this book to fruition. To begin with, I've gained valuable insights into self-publishing from the Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi). I extend my heartfelt gratitude to them and Cascadia Author Services, whose team has provided unwavering support in guiding me through the intricate process of publishing a book. I'd like to offer special thanks to Kailey Urbaniak for her exceptional management of the publishing process, which went remarkably smoothly. She handled my inquiries with patience and maintained remarkable responsiveness, even during her transition to Kailey Salisbury, where there was only a brief delay of a day or two, which is quite impressive considering the significance of such a life event. You are truly exceptional.

Should this book achieve success, credit should also be attributed to another member of the Cascadia team, Judith Sanvicente, who spearheaded our marketing efforts. Conversely, if the book does not succeed, the responsibility lies with me, as it is possible that my writing did not resonate with the readers. You are equally remarkable.

The second organization I would like to express my gratitude to is Reedsy, a tremendous support for indie authors like myself. They connected me with Richard Roper, who conducted the developmental edit of the book, and Michael Benge, who handled the line edit and proofreading. Thank you, gentlemen, for your outstanding work.

Finally, I want to extend my thanks to Mike Trent, another introduction through Reedsy, who skillfully transformed numerous screen shots into printable images. Mike ensured my complete satisfaction with each image before producing the final illustrations. Your assistance was pivotal in ensuring that the informative graphs had the same visual appeal. Thank you, Mike.

Whatever you frequently think and ponder upon, that will become the inclination of your mind.

The Buddha

Part 1

The Philosophies

Chapter 1

Why I Wrote This Book and How to Use It

Have you ever felt like you’re always one step behind in life? As if, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to shake those negative emotions and self-doubts that hold you back? Well, you’re not alone. For years, I struggled with the same issues. But through years of reading, exploring, researching, and practical experience, I discovered a path to peace and happiness that transformed my life. The insights I gained helped me develop a program whose components have been scientifically studied and validated. This program transformed my draining emotions into sustainable joy and happiness.

Growing up, I lived life to the fullest. Surrounded by amazing friends and family, I spent my days playing cricket and other games, indulging my love for movies and music, and engaging in the typical adolescent pastimes of flirting and hanging out with friends. I was known for my free-spirited and joyful personality, but little did those around me know that I was plagued by a persistent inner turmoil.

Despite my seemingly carefree exterior, I struggled with worries and anxieties that often crept up on me and left me feeling uncertain and fearful. My tendency to ruminate on problems and imagine worst-case scenarios only intensified these feelings. However, I was determined not to let my struggles hold me back. I powered through my studies, even thriving academically, and eventually took on a sales job.

Like everyone, I had my share of ups and downs in my professional life, but I also had a failed business venture. My confidence took a beating. However, I pressed on, determined to succeed. And with time, my hard work paid off. I secured a highly rewarding position within a renowned pharmaceutical company where I managed a large team of sales professionals. I did very well in that.

But even with this success, my self-doubts lingered. I struggled to shake the feeling of insecurity and find true happiness. I tried everything, from exploring different philosophies to drawing support from my friends and family, but nothing seemed to work. My failed business only added to my struggles and further eroded my confidence. Fortunately, my despondency never reached a point at which I needed to seek assistance from a medical professional.

However, as I matured, I realized I was not alone in my struggles. Through my workplace and personal interactions, I came to realize that my struggles were not unique and that many others grappled with similar emotions and self-doubts. Some found ways to overcome them, while others found ways to hide them. It was a comforting realization, and it gave me hope that I too could find a way to overcome my insecurities.

On a quest to find peace within, I delved into the world of self-help and personal development. Just like many others of my generation, I started with the classics like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking. While the strategies described in these books were effective at first, I soon realized that they were just surface-level fixes.

That was until I stumbled upon Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This book was a game-changer for me and quickly became my go-to guide. I carried it with me everywhere and absorbed its teachings like a religion. My progress towards inner peace and tranquility went up a notch when I discovered Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, eventually leading me to delve deeper into Buddhism and Stoicism.

It was a fascinating journey, immersing myself in the profound teachings of the Buddha, the Stoics, Covey, and Tolle. Despite the vast distances and countless years that separate them, these remarkable individuals shared a singular purpose: to guide humanity towards a life filled with happiness and fulfillment. Isn’t it remarkable that the wisdom of these great thinkers reached us, surviving wars, natural disasters, cultural differences, and societal shifts? Each one of these people had a unique perspective on how to achieve happiness, but at their core, all of their teachings centered around embracing the challenges of life rather than avoiding them.

The Buddha’s philosophy from 2500 years ago is just as relevant today as it was back then. The same goes for the Stoics, Covey, and Tolle. They all espoused the importance of living a virtuous life, full of compassion, generosity, kindness, gratitude, and love for all. And it seems like these great thinkers have known the secret to happiness for centuries. It’s a testament to the power of their teachings that they continue to inspire and guide people to this day. Following the teachings of great minds like the Buddha, the Stoics, and contemporary teachers can be a challenging yet rewarding journey.

At times, I’ve felt on top of the world, successfully putting these teachings into practice. But there have been other moments when I’ve fallen flat on my face, completely failing to embody what I’ve learned. It can be discouraging, but the beauty of it all is that we can always learn from our mistakes and keep growing.

As I embarked on this transformative journey, skepticism tugged at the corners of my mind. How could I wholeheartedly embrace these philosophies without a solid grasp of their underlying principles? As a scientist, I craved scientific explanations that would validate the efficacy of spiritual teachings. I yearned for a bridge between the worlds of reason and spirituality, where empirical knowledge supported the sublime realms of wisdom.

Little did I know that this quest would lead me to profound revelations and a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of science and spirituality. As I was pursuing my PhD, for which I was investigating mindfulness, I learned about how the science supports (and sometimes refutes) what these great spiritual leaders have taught us.

One fateful day, a moment of clarity washed over me, completely transforming my perspective. It was as if a light bulb had suddenly switched on, illuminating the flawed approach I had been clinging to for so long. I persistently sought peace and calm, unaware that happiness cannot be chased down because it is like a fleeting mirage.

With every ounce of my being, I had been fervently chasing after happiness, only to find it eluding my grasp like a butterfly, teasing me with its whimsical game of hide-and-seek. In that crucial instant, I awakened to the delicate truth that true happiness cannot be pursued or forcefully captured; it must be invited, nurtured, and allowed to bloom within. It was akin to the art of catching a cricket ball, where the key lies in letting it come to you before making the perfect grab, otherwise it bounces away.

From that day forward, I embarked on a new journey, releasing the notion of chasing after happiness. Instead, I focused on creating an internal environment in which peace and calm could naturally flourish. Like a skilled gardener, I tended to the soil of my soul, cultivating a fertile ground for happiness to take root.

The game had changed. No longer a frantic pursuit, it became a patient dance of inner growth and self-discovery. I discovered that happiness, like a cherished companion, accompanies those who create space for its presence. Like magnets, we draw happiness towards us through the gentle attraction of our hearts, allowing it to land softly and deeply within our being. And in that realization, a profound sense of liberation and tranquility settled upon my heart. With each step forward, I nurtured a sanctuary of tranquility and contentment, inviting happiness to grace my life with its gentle presence.

And so, I made a pivot. Instead of solely focusing on peace, I decided to tackle the root causes of my unrest head-on. I learned to effectively manage powerful emotions like anger, stress, fear, anxiety, and guilt. Slowly but surely, I’ve been able to create a fertile soil for inner peace to grow and flourish.

Sure, these raw emotions still pop up from time to time, but now I have the tools to effectively manage them. It takes practice, patience, and perseverance, but I truly believe that anyone can achieve inner peace and serenity. What a beautiful and fulfilling journey it is!

Don’t Just Know the What and Why, Discover the How!

Do you find yourself attending seminars, retreats, reading books, or following gurus, only to fall back into old patterns shortly after? Many of us get caught in this frustrating cycle and struggle to integrate ancient spiritual practices into our daily routines, especially when the immediate benefits aren’t apparent.

The truth is, the fundamentals of happiness and inner peace are simple. All you need to do is follow them consistently instead of jumping from one spiritual teacher to the next.

During my PhD work, I had conceived and developed a unique protocol that combines wisdom from various sources, including the Buddha, the Stoics, and contemporary teachers like Covey and Tolle, with the latest science. This protocol incorporates ancient philosophies that have stood the test of time, while also integrating cutting-edge scientific findings and practical techniques. It’s been a journey of highs and lows, trial and error, and plenty of personal growth. But through it all, I’ve honed this method that has completely transformed my life.

Throughout history, the great teachers and philosophers have delved into the causes of our suffering and offered insightful ways to reduce stress and strife, guiding us towards happiness. However, there’s often a missing piece in their teachings – advice on how to integrate their wisdom into our daily lives. This is where my protocol takes a leap forward. It doesn’t just stop at explaining the concepts; it provides actionable strategies that empower you to implement these teachings in your real life. These strategies are accessible and straightforward, making it possible for anyone to learn and apply them effectively. It’s time to bridge the gap between theory and practice, and unlock the transformative power of these timeless teachings in your everyday existence.

I have named my protocol the Holistic Approach to Sustainable Happiness in 60 days (HASH60). Whether you’re a seasoned spiritual practitioner or just starting on your path, I truly believe that HASH60 is a powerful tool that will help you unlock greater happiness and fulfillment that is sustainable. The HASH60 program offers a pathway to overcome life’s challenges and discover deep inner peace, all within a span of just 60 days. HASH60 has been instrumental in my personal growth. I’m eager to share this beneficial knowledge with you.

The constant search for mentors, books, and retreats becomes a thing of the past with HASH60. This practice not only enriches your life but, more importantly, it fosters enduring happiness. Beyond merging ancient wisdom with modern science, HASH60 provides real-time feedback to maintain your motivation as you strive for peace and happiness. Uniquely, you can practice HASH60 anywhere, anytime – no need for a serene spot or a soft cushion.

HASH60 guides you along a path on which you won’t merely learn about peace and happiness; you genuinely live them each day. It will become an integral part of your existence. In a manner echoing the insights of Joseph Goldstein, a respected Buddhist scholar who emphasized that Buddhism extends beyond meditation – it’s a way of life. It’s time to transcend transient solutions and adopt a practice that fosters lasting fulfillment.

Within the pages of this book, I discuss the profound philosophies and scientific principles that birthed this transformative protocol. But that’s not all – equally important is the step-by-step guidance I provide on how to practice and seamlessly integrate it into your daily life.

To make your exploration even more enriching, I’ve organized the book into three compelling sections. Each section builds upon the last, constructing a solid foundation that culminates in a comprehensive and potent guide to uncovering true joy and lasting peace.

I encourage you to engage yourself in a narrative that blends ancient wisdom with modern insights. Discover the secrets underpinning this transformative protocol and learn how to apply it in practical, tangible ways. Whether you’re seeking to navigate the challenges of everyday existence or seeking a deeper understanding of your inner self, this book offers a key to unlock the abundance of joy and tranquility that resides within you.

In the first section, you’ll get a taste of the two ancient philosophies and contemporary wisdom that form the foundation of my protocol. Get to know the wisdom of the ages that has stood the test of time and inspired countless people to live their best lives.

The second section dives into the science behind HASH60 and how I’ve combined the essence of these philosophies with contemporary research to create a method that makes complete and coherent sense. This section will give you the understanding you need to fully embrace HASH60 and get the most out of it.

Finally, in the third section, you’ll learn all about HASH60 itself and how to put it into practice. From step-by-step instructions to tips for staying motivated, you’ll have everything you need to start experiencing the benefits of this simple but powerful practice right away. I invite you to turn the pages and embark on an amazing journey to a happier and more peaceful life.

HASH60 effortlessly combines key elements of mindfulness meditation, heart rate variability biofeedback training, and neuroplasticity, each of which has garnered substantial scientific evidence, making it a truly transformative practice. On this exciting journey, you will also discover the power of heart-centered, purpose-driven mindfulness meditation (HC-MM) – a refreshingly innovative approach that extends far beyond conventional mindfulness practices.

Don’t worry if you’re not a Buddhist or a Stoic scholar (I am neither), as I have extracted only the most effective elements from these philosophies and incorporated them into HASH60. Just to clarify, I do have substantial experience in practicing insight meditation and Zen meditation, and I am currently a member of a