There's Always Help; There's Always Hope: An Award-Winning Psychiatrist Shows You How to Heal Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

Praise for There’s Always Help;

There’s Always Hope

Eve Wood’s book is an excellent resource to assist on your journey to healing. Don’t struggle unnecessarily and lose your way. Read the wisdom contained here and find the way to your desired destination.

— Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., the author of Love, Medicine &

Miracles and Prescriptions for Living

This book is awesome—a wonderful addition to this world. It offers welcome relief, hope and healing to all who suffer from ADD, depression, anxiety, addictive illness or even general malaise.

— Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., instructor, Harvard Medical School;

author of Driven to Distraction and Human Moments

Eve Wood is one of those much-needed voices building the long-awaited bridge between psychology and the realm of the sacred. … This is an important book that should not be missed.

— Rabbi Marc Gafni, the author of The Mystery of Love and Soul Prints

This is a heartfelt book by a clinician of uncommon skill and empathy. It is a unique combination of deep caring born of the desire to relieve suffering and of practical advice. It expresses how care-giving in this age of modern medicine can still attend to the complete human being in all his glorious aspects.

— Gregory Fricchione, M.D., associate professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

You only get wisdom this good from your grandmother at the kitchen table. Dr. Wood offers us a road map for our own psycho-spiritual evolution.

— Rabbi Lawrence Kushner, the Emanu-El scholar, Congregation

Emanu-El, San Francisco; the author of Invisible Lines of Connection

This is a book with a real soul…I would recommend this sensitive rendering of a psychiatrist’s work to all stakeholders in mental health, including students, patients, family members and healers.

— Edward F. Foulks, M.D., Ph.D., Sellars-Polchow professor of psychiatry

and associate dean for Graduate Medical Education, Tulane

University Health Sciences Center School of Medicine

This book is a must, not only for patients, but for all of us who care for others as well as ourselves. I definitely recommend this book not only to practicing physicians and healthcare providers, but also to medical students and residents as essential to their training as physicians.

— Christina M. Puchalski, M.D., FACP, associate professor of medicine, The George

Washington University School of Medicine and Health Services; director,

The George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health

Eve Wood helps us understand how the journey from wounded to healing must integrate all elements of one’s physical, emotional and spiritual life. Although many believe that these diverse elements must all be integrated for true health, Wood describes a model that is unique in its clarity.

— Daniel Gottlieb, Ph.D., columnist for

The Philadelphia Inquirer and radio host of Voices in the Family

This is a sensitive, tender, compassionate book by an author who has accompanied many on their healing journeys. Easy and quick reading, this book shows how the mind, the body and the spirit require healing in all of us, and especially in those struggling with emotional or addictive illness.

— Harold G. Koenig, M.D., Director of the Duke University

Center for Spirituality, Theology, and Health and author of

The Healing Power of Faith and Spirituality in Patient Care

In a time when psychiatry in some circles seems entirely focused on the biological model, Dr. Eve Wood brings a refreshing recovery of the art of healing through an attentive and compassionate presence within the context of the physician-patient relationship.

— Stephen G. Post, Ph.D., President,

The Institute for Research on Unlimited Love and the author

of Unlimited Love: Altruism, Compassion, and Service

Copyright © 2004 by Eve A. Wood

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: orders@psdprom.co.za • Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay House Publications (India) Pvt. Ltd.: www.hayhouseindia.co.in • Distributed in India by: Media Star: booksdivision@mediastar.co.in

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

In One™ is a trademark of Eve A. Wood, M.D. It symbolizes the imperative to treat body, mind, and spirit in one, as well as the affirmation that the Divine resides within each one of us. In One represents Dr. Wood’s perspective and approach to healing.

Originally published under the title Medicine, Mind, and Meaning by In One Press, Tucson, AZ: ISBN: 0-9741083-0-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wood, Eve A.

[Medicine, mind, and meaning]

There’s always help, there’s always hope : an award-winning psychiatrist show you how to heal your body, mind, and spirit / Eve. A. Wood.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN-13: 978-1-4019-1119-5 (tradepaper)

ISBN-10: 1-4019-1119-6 (tradepaper)

1. Mental illness—Treatment—Popular works. 2. Self-help techniques. 3. Mind and body. 4. Healing. I. Title.

RC460.W66 2006

616.89’1—dc22                                                              2005026696

ISBN 13: 978-1-4019-1119-5

ISBN 10: 1-4019-1119-6

09   08   07   06   4   3   2   1

1st printing, April 2006

Printed in the United States of America

In memory of my dearly departed Grandmother,

Shirley Weiner, who worshiped God, loved me

unconditionally, and left this earthly life having always

given more than she ever asked for in return.

May the words of my mouth and the blessings of my heart

serve to honor her memory for all time.

A NOTE TO THE READER

I wrote this book out of my concern for the millions of people who are looking to heal and who are getting stuck, discouraged, or giving up along the way. Because our systems of care are broken, many people are getting lost, overwhelmed, or are falling between the cracks, but there’s always help; there’s always hope. My patients have taught me that no problem is so big that it can’t be solved somehow. We just need to be open-minded, creative, and willing to do whatever it takes. In order to show you what I mean, I’ve chosen to share my patients’ tales of challenge and triumph in a book.

This book contains real-life stories. At my request, many of my patients allowed me to share their own miraculous journeys with you. In order to assure their privacy, I instituted a rigorous approval and review process. Each patient participated in choosing their own pseudonym and has read and approved my rendition of their story prior to publication; some patients chose to share their stories in their own words and have authored portions of this book. I thank my patients for their willingness to participate in this effort to reach out to others in need. I have altered some minor identifying pieces of information to protect their identities. Beyond this, their stories are completely accurate.

Today, psychiatric illnesses are among the greatest causes of morbidity and mortality in the world. In fact, data from the massive Global Burden of Disease study just conducted by the World Health Organization, the World Bank, and Harvard University reveals that mental illness, including suicide, accounts for over 15 percent of the burden of disease in established world markets. Additionally, hoping to take charge of their emotional lives, 43.8 million Americans will seek therapy in a given year. As the statistics indicate, every one of us is either immediately affected, or at most, one step removed from someone who is affected by one of these common illnesses. Hence, in some way, this book is everyone’s story.

This book is meant to empower you in your healing journey. However, you can use this book in many ways: read it to become a better friend, parent, child, co-worker, teacher, student, doctor, spouse, or therapist. Read it for inspiration, insight, or guidance. Let this book help you evaluate your own growth journey and/or the models of care you have been exposed to or have been involved with in the past. However you use it will be healing, for whenever we share in the experience of pain and redemption, we are transformed for good.

Of course a book such as this could never replace the care that trained professionals can offer you; this book is meant to be one piece in a larger puzzle.

Please do not hesitate to get whatever help you need to grow and heal your amazing self. There’s always help; there’s always hope. You deserve to live a life of fulfillment and internal peace.

My hopes and prayers go with you.

— Eve A. Wood, M.D.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

No person is an island, separate and alone. We are interdependent creatures who need one another. Anyone who has touched me, directly or indirectly, has affected my growth as a human being and a healer. Each one has enriched me somehow. To all of you, I am infinitely grateful.

Special thanks must be given to my parents, Glory Ann Wood and Leonard Wood, may they rest in peace, for the immeasurable gift of life. Thanks also to all my foremothers and forefathers for the same. Thank you to all of my patients, my best teachers, for sharing your worlds with me. I am particularly grateful to those of you who have allowed me to tell your stories in this book. You all know who you are even though I cannot print your names on this page.

I am filled with gratitude for the support and encouragement of many people who played a role in the actual birth of this book. You are Leonard Wood; Rabbi Alan LaPayover; Russell Force; Dan Gottleib; Susan Kendrick, my gifted literary agent; Jessica Papin; my talented cover design team at Lightbourne; my partners at Greenleaf Book Group; my intellectual property attorneys, David E. Rogers and Michael Lechter; and my master publicist and dear friend, Cate Cummings.

I also thank my numerous esteemed colleagues who, without knowing me, took the time to read my prepress manuscript and offer support. You are Edward Foulks, Gregory Fricchione, Mordechai Gafni, Ned Hallowell, Harold Koenig, C. Everett Koop, Lawrence Kushner, Stephen Post, Christina Puchalski, and Bernie Siegel. You have all empowered me beyond belief. Thank you for your loving words and moving comments. You have all become angels in my world.

I must also thank my children, Benjamin, Gabriel, Shira, and Glory, for being your blessed selves. Your joy, enthusiasm, and boundless interest in my work helps keep me writing and spreading the word. You four are among the greatest lights in my life.

To my best critic, strongest support, dearest friend, wondrous keyboarder, husband, and soul mate, Rick Isenberg, I say thank you from the deepest recesses of my being. Without your faith in my dreams to change the world, I would never have been able to complete or share this work. Your love continues to illuminate the path. I cannot thank you enough for being there.

Since the birth of this book as Medicine, Mind, and Meaning in June 2004, more angels have entered my world. While I cannot possibly name you all here, you have all become stars in the firmament of my life.

I offer special thanks to Cynthia Frank and her staff at Cypress House, to Robin Bartlett, Jan Nathan and Terri Nathan at PMA, to Marilyn McGuire, to Amy Weintraub for inviting me into the world of yoga, and to dear friends Victoria Maizes, Amy Brantz, Carol Karsch, Patty Vallance, and Larry Siegel. I am also grateful for my literary agent and friend Ned Leavitt, for my attorney and friend Jonathan Kirsh, and for cantors Ivor Lichterman and Janece Cohen, and all my choir buddies for bringing great music, distraction, joy, humor, and love into my world. I thank heavens for all my giving, compassionate, and visionary colleagues and friends at the Program in Integrative Medicine for sharing themselves with me as we journey together to promote whole-person healing. I feel blessed to have my wonderful new family at Hay House, including Reid Tracy, Stacey Smith, Jill Kramer, Christy Salinas, Jacqui Clark, Angela Torrez, Nancy Levin, and Summer McStravick in my life.

And, finally, with awe, gratitude, and love of God for the gifts I have been given, I thank you, my readers, for inviting me into your lives.

Contents

FOREWORD BY C. EVERETT KOOP, M.D, ScD

THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT

BRINGING MEANING AND MEDICINE TOGETHER

An integrative model of healing

GILLIE’S STORY:

WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY

A dramatic example of the healing model in action

LESSONS OF INSPIRATION:

HOW GILLIE’S TALE RELATES TO YOU

The healing model effects cure in even the most severe of cases

STEP ONE: BODY

Getting a baseline and accepting who you are

STEP TWO: MIND

Figuring out your mindset, attitudes, and identifying family-of-origin issues

STEP THREE: SPIRIT

Involving meaning and purpose in your healing journey

STEP FOUR: PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

How to stay the course and maintain hope through the process

IN THE WORDS OF MY PATIENTS

What it feels like to suffer and heal

TAKE-HOME MESSAGES AND CLOSING BLESSING

A summary and a call to action

APPENDICES

I        DEPRESSION

II       BIPOLAR DISORDER

III      PANIC DISORDER

IV      OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER

V       POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

VI      SOCIAL PHOBIA

VII     GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER

VIII    ANXIETY DISORDERS: RESOURCES

IX      ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER

X        EATING DISORDERS

XI      ADDICTIVE ILLNESS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Foreword

I first met Eve Wood at a Spirituality & Crisis Conference in 2003, sponsored by Johns Hopkins Medicine Institute. For over fifty years Johns Hopkins Medicine has been hosting an annual spirituality and medicine conference dedicated to the discussion of ministering to both the physical and spiritual needs of patients. The conference includes clergy, physicians, surgeons, psychologists, psychiatrists, nurses, social workers, as well as many others who deal with the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of our culture.

I gave two talks at that conference. The first was a professional perspective on Spirituality and Crisis, and the second was a personal perspective on the same topic.

Eve Wood approached me after my first lecture. I was seated at a table with other keynote speakers, meeting and greeting the attendees. After waiting some time to speak to me, she approached to tell me how much she had connected to what I had been saying during my talk. She explained that her clinical work was about the integration of traditional psychiatric practices, as well as more avant-garde spiritual ideas, and that my lecture had resonated with her own experience. We spoke for a little while, and then she asked if I would be willing to read something she was working on, and if it was at all possible for me to give her some feedback on it.

I explained to Eve that, although I was flattered, I tended not to do that. I find it rather difficult to accommodate all the requests I receive, and have made a practice of declining those where I have not personally been involved in the work or manuscript itself. Eve, ever gracious, said she understood this entirely.

Nonetheless, we continued to talk, touching upon a number of different topics, including our respective ideas about medicine and healing. Apparently, one of the experiences I had shared in my lecture had reminded her of one of the patients she had been treating in her clinical practice.

The story I had shared was about an infant, but a few days old, whom I had treated thirty years before while I was Surgeon-in-Chief of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. The parents had brought the baby to me in what seemed like a last-ditch effort to save their child’s life. The little boy suffered from multiple congenital abnormalities, several of them incompatible with life, and his parents had been told by four other surgeons that it was absolutely impossible to save him. Indeed, the parents were advised to let their child pass away peacefully in the corner of the hospital nursery. They were clearly distraught and devastated by the news, but still found the resolve to continue looking for a surgeon who was at least willing to try. They asked me if I would be willing to operate on their baby, and if it was possible to save his life.

I examined the infant, and realized that this was a serious undertaking. While any one of these anomalies was repairable, there were so many of them that it did seem unlikely that the child could be saved. And yet, I wondered why it wouldn’t be possible to treat the child step-by-step, operating on the most threatening issues first, and slowly but surely correcting all of the abnormalities over a lengthy period of time. I explained the risks involved in such an endeavor, and how I would have to bring in other doctors to do procedures that were outside of my expertise. The parents decided to proceed.

It took over fifty operations, spanning the course of many years, but the child lived. In fact, that child went on, after college, to graduate as a minister from Westminster Theological Seminary. I have followed his education closely. I contacted as many of the surgeons who had helped me in this process as I could find. I wanted them to know the wonderful turn of events and recognize the role they had played in saving the life of that little boy.

For Eve, this story reminded her of her patient, Gillie. As you read this book, you will likely see the similarities as well. Like the little boy I treated, it seemed that few of Gillie’s therapists had actually tried to cure her. Instead, they seemed to accept that her biology and circumstances were her destiny, and while surely trying to make her life more comfortable, they continued to treat her for years without believing there would ever be an end to her suffering.

As Eve told me about her experiences with Gillie—the many challenges, as well as the many rewards—I realized that she and I were very similar creatures. Neither of us was afraid to risk our reputations if it meant helping a patient; nor did we take our task as physicians lightly. Both of us tend to look past the diagnoses and illness, in order to see and realize the potential for a healthy, happy life. We do not choose to become mired in the challenges of a task, but rather look for intuitive, creative ways to find solutions, regardless of how daunting that task might be. Finally, Eve and I share the sense that there is something larger than ourselves involved in the healing process; and that faith belongs in the doctor’s bag as much as a scalpel, a stethoscope, or a prescription pad.

In short, Eve had convinced me that this was a book worth looking at.

I have seldom been so moved by a book. You simply won’t find one like this very often. It is written by a physician who loves her patients and has come to see that life depends not on the hand you are dealt, but on how you choose to live it. As Eve says throughout, the path to fulfillment is simple; it just isn’t always that easy to achieve. Part of that responsibility rests with our cultural approach to medicine. But, there is a science for the soul as well. And if we are each body, mind, and spirit, how can we be healed if we don’t treat all three together? With [this book], however, we have finally been given a model that integrates the treatment of the body, mind, and spirit. To my way of thinking, it is the only model of healing that makes sense, and I have learned more from this book than I have elsewhere in a very long time.

It has been my privilege to meet Eve Wood and let her get into my mind. Indeed, we have become good friends. Throughout our correspondence, I have consistently urged her to get her message out to the public. I am pleased that, with the publication of this important and inspiring book, she has finally done just that.

I’m not given to hyperbole, but I do feel that this book will strike a chord for a generation that sees itself in a poor light, and all too often finds itself lost and confused. I believe this text should be part of a curriculum for any student preparing for a career as a healthcare professional—and I would especially like it to be compulsory reading for all psychotherapists. But whether you are a healthcare provider or a fellow seeker, this book stands out like a lighthouse in stormy weather.

C. Everett Koop, M.D. ScD,

former U.S. Surgeon General;

McInerny Professor of Surgery, Dartmouth Medical School

THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT

by John Godfrey Saxe

(1816–1887)

It was six men of Indostan

To learning much inclined,

Who went to see the Elephant

(Though all of them were blind),

That each by observation

Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,

And happening to fall

Against his broad and sturdy side,

At once began to bawl:

"God bless me! but the Elephant

Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,

Cried, "Ho! what have we here

So very round and smooth and sharp?

To me ’tis mighty clear

This wonder of an Elephant

Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,

And happening to take

The squirming trunk within his hands,

Thus boldly up and spake:

I see, quoth he, "the Elephant

Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,

And felt about the knee.

"What most this wondrous beast is like

Is mighty plain," quoth he;

’Tis clear enough the Elephant

Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,

Said: "E’en the blindest man

Can tell what this resembles most;

Deny the fact who can

This marvel of an Elephant

Is very like a fan!

The Sixth no sooner had begun

About the beast to grope,

Than, seizing on the swinging tail

That fell within his scope,

I see, quoth he, "the Elephant

Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan

Disputed loud and long,

Each in his own opinion

Exceeding stiff and strong,

Though each was partly in the right,

And all were in the wrong!

Moral:

So oft in theologic wars,

The disputants, I ween,

Rail on in utter ignorance

Of what each other mean,

And prate about an Elephant

Not one of them has seen!

Bringing Meaning and Medicine Together

AN INTEGRATIVE MODEL OF HEALING

To See or Not to See—That Is the Question

It was 7:30 A.M. on a weekday and a blind woman, dressed for work, was walking in center-city Philadelphia with her Seeing Eye dog at her right side. As I crossed the street, walking toward her, I noticed that the dog had stopped dead in his tracks, refusing to lead the woman any farther down the sidewalk toward Walnut Street. The woman, with a distressed look on her face, called out to the universe: Is there something in front of me?

By then, I was close enough to respond to her, No ma’am. There is only the sidewalk in front of you.

She was confused and clearly distressed. He won’t go, and he keeps behaving as if there is something blocking my way. I looked down at her dog and, as if on command, he dropped something from his mouth. I bent down to pick it up and realized immediately that it was the blind woman’s earring—she must have dropped it—for there, on her other earlobe, hung its mate.

Your dog had your earring in his mouth and just dropped it in front of me, I told her. You are only wearing one earring. Perhaps he was waiting for someone to help him give this one back to you?

She seemed relieved. Perhaps he was, she smiled. After asking me if she was heading in the right direction, she and her guide continued on their way.

But as I continued on my way, tears came to my eyes; and except for my blurry vision, I could see where I was going. As I made my way to work, I felt intensely grateful for the gift of sight and for having had the opportunity to share in the loving support of a Seeing Eye dog for its master.

While many of us are blessed with the gift of sight, we all have psychic blind spots that we must negotiate, and each of us could use a Seeing Eye dog on occasion. More often than not, we operate from our limited vantage points, which—if they go unchallenged—become roadblocks on our paths to self-actualization. Our biggest blind spots tend to encompass how we choose to look at things, what we choose to tell ourselves, or what we opt to believe. Like the blind woman on Walnut Street, we usually see the roadblocks as external. We suffer a job loss, or the death of a dream, and allow these experiences to become the cause of our misery. As a result, we are unable to productively move along the life-path. We allow ourselves to be done in or victimized by our pain. We permit our grief to overtake us, robbing us of the joy and fulfillment we are due. We are all, to some extent, tripped up by our own blind spots.

We can all learn a valuable lesson from the blind woman, though. She deduced that there was something blocking her way, but she was also willing to challenge her assumption. She called out to the universe for help. In doing so, not only did she learn that her path was clear, she learned that what was blocking her continued passage was in fact a gift of love. Upon receiving the gift, she was able to continue along her path with increased faith and trust in the support available to her and in her ability to make good use of it. If only we could all be as visionary and courageous as that blind woman en route to work.

Each of us has probably heard the expression "There is none so blind, as he who will not see." As the following anecdote illustrates, to see is a choice.

Many years ago, I was at a two-day review course in preparation for the National Board examination in psychiatry. One part of the examination involves having the candidate sit before two or three psychiatrist examiners, while a patient, unknown to the candidate,