Location via proxy:   [ UP ]  
[Report a bug]   [Manage cookies]                

Discover this podcast and so much more

Podcasts are free to enjoy without a subscription. We also offer ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more from just $11.99/month.

Rethinking Consequences

UNLIMITED

Rethinking Consequences

FromBecome A Calm Mama


UNLIMITED

Rethinking Consequences

FromBecome A Calm Mama

ratings:
Length:
23 minutes
Released:
Mar 3, 2022
Format:
Podcast episode

Description

In this episode we’re diving into step 4 of the Calm Mama Process - CORRECT. We’re rethinking consequences and learning how to use them effectively.I covered the first 3 steps of the Calm Mama Process in previous podcast episodes. If you missed them, be sure to go back and listen.Step 1: CALMStep 2: CONNECTStep 3: LIMIT SETWe all want our kids to become thoughtful and responsible humans. Kids who can think for themselves, make decisions that don't harm themselves or others, and take personal responsibility for their actions.The way kids learn these things is by EXPERIENCING the impact of their choices.In the Calm Mama Process, we use consequences to teach our kids that when you have a behavior, it's going to create a result. Effective consequences teach your kids to think without having them experience pain, shame or disconnection. To do that, we need to start out by thinking like our kids:They don’t think about the future and are very in the moment.  They don’t really understand cause and effect.  They don’t want to stop what they’re doing or wait for what they want.  And they don’t really know how to think about other people’s feelings yet.This is simply the journey of childhood. It doesn’t mean anything about your child or who they will grow up to be.We understand that feelings drive behavior, and we use Connection to help our kids learn strategies to communicate and cope with their big feelings. So we don’t shame our kids for their feelings or even judge their behavior. Instead, what we do is help our child see the connection between their behavior and the impacts of the behavior.  Even though we have compassion for their feelings, it doesn't mean they're excused from the result of their actions. So when your kid has an action that creates a problem for someone else, they have to fix it. Restore what was damaged.With CORRECT, you give your child the opportunity (in a loving, logical way) to repair, restore or resolve the impact of their actions. You’ll Learn:The difference between consequences and punishmentWhy lectures and time outs aren’t workingThe 3 types of impact a behavior can have - and how to respond to each of themHow to hold your kid accountable without shaming or disconnectionSimple questions you can ask yourself to create effective consequencesFree Resources:Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet at https://www.calmmamacoaching.com/stopyelling. In this free guide you’ll discover:✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress Book a free consultation session
Released:
Mar 3, 2022
Format:
Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 14 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called “The Calm Mama Process” that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment that’s been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that don’t want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, she’s seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, Calm Mama School, a lifetime membership program where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home.