Feast of Fools Quotes

“I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"

And what?" (Michael)

When did you get home?" Claire demanded.

Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"

"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know."

"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."

"I so wish you hadn't said that.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?'

And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Jealous?"

"Maybe."

"No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Who are you calling?" (claire)
Pizza hut" (shane)
Loser" (claire)”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]
"Don't they teach you anything in your schools?"
"Not about this."
"Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“I just—we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn’t, um—’’
‘‘Yeah, you’d better not have ummed.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“I’m taking off my shoes.’’
‘‘Fine. Shoes off.’’
‘‘And my pants.’’
‘‘Don’t push it, Claire.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“She was staring at you.'
'What can I say? Irresistible.'
'Shane, it’s not funny. I just—you should be careful.
'Always am.' Which was an absolute lie. Shane’s eyes fixed on hers, and she felt a burst of heat inside that crept up to burn in her cheeks. He smiled slowly. 'Jealous?'
'Maybe.'
'No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“You have not been sticking your dirty fingers in my sauce,’’ Eve said, and pointed her wooden spoon
at him.
He quickly took the finger out of his mouth. ‘‘First off, they’re not dirty. I licked them first.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“does you costume involve leather?" she'd asked. and he'd said, "Actually, yeah, it might."
it really did. it involved a leather dog collar, leather pants and a leash, and the leash was held by Ysandre, who was in skintight red rubber, from neck to knee high boots. she'd topped it off with a pair of devil horns and a red tridant.
she'd made Shane her dog, complete with furry dog mask.
***"Breathe," Myrnin said. "I'm not much for it myself, but i hear it's quite good for humans."***”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“He looked down at himself and laughed softly. ‘‘My dark side dresses better than I do.’’ He stood up
and reached for clothes folded neatly on a table to the side as he loosened the tie on his robe. He hesitated, smiled, and raised his
eyebrows. ‘‘If you don’t mind, Claire . . . ?’’
‘‘Oh. Sorry.’’ Claire turned her back. She didn’t like turning her back on him, even with the cell door locked. He was better
behaved when he knew she was watching. She focused on the faint, distorted image of his reflection on the TV screen as he shed
the dressing gown and began to pull on his clothing. She couldn’t see much, except that he was very pale all over. Once she was
sure his pants were up, she glanced behind her. He had his back to her, and she couldn’t help but compare him with the only other
man she’d really studied half-naked. Shane was broad, strong, solid. Myrnin looked fragile, but his muscles moved like cables
under that pale skin—far stronger than Shane’s, she knew.
Myrnin turned as he buttoned his shirt. ‘‘It’s been a while since a pretty girl looked at me with such interest,’’ he said. She looked
away, feeling the blush work its heat up through her neck and onto her cheeks. ‘‘It’s all right, Claire. I’m not offended.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“You’re not going to suck.’’
‘‘Not at the guitar, anyway,’’ Shane said, deadpan. Claire punched him in the arm. ‘‘Ow.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“I have the feeling I’ve been—
unpleasant.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“claire:dont do anything dumb or ill kill you myself
shane:ouch girl whatever happend to unconditional love around here”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“A rap at the back door made her jump, and she peered through the window for a long time before she eased open the door a crack. She left the security chain on. 'What do you want, Richard?'
Richard Morrell's police cruiser was parked in the drive. He hadn't flashed any lights or howled any sirens, so she supposed it wasn't an emergency, exactly. But she knew him well enough to know he didn't pay social visits, at least not to the Glass House.
'Good question,' Richard said. 'I guess I want a nice girl who can cook, likes action movies, and looks good in short skirts. But I'll settle for you taking the chain off the door and letting me in.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“This is the biggest damn iPod I've ever seen,' Claire said, which made him choke on his beer.
'Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.'
'The way you're feeding it, I'm not so sure. You think you picked enough songs?”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Ysandre has
destroyed more lives than you can begin to imagine, starting with her own.’’ Myrnin’s eyes were dark and very, very serious. ‘‘If
she wants Shane, let her have him. She’ll be done with him soon enough. Amelie won’t allow her to kill him.’’
‘‘I think she wants other things,’’ Claire said.
‘‘Ah. Sexual, then. Or some version of it. Ysandre has always been a bit—odd.’’
‘‘How do I stop her?’’
Myrnin slowly shook his head. ‘‘I’m sorry. I can’t help you. My only suggestion—which I’m quite certain you won’t like—is to
let him deal with this in his own way. She’ll leave him alive, and largely intact, unless he resists her.’’
‘‘You’re right. I don’t like it.’’
‘‘Complain to the management, my dear.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“shane:you only love me for my abs
clair:shut up loser shift off”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“When she set Shane’s glass of Coke down in front of him, she did it with probably a little too much emphasis; he glanced up at her with a question-mark expression.[...] ‘‘What?’’ Shane asked her, and took a drink. ‘‘Did I forget to say thanks? Because, thanks. Best Coke ever. Did you make it yourself? Special recipe?”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“SHANE:WANT SOME SHANE ASKED.COME AND GET IT BAT BOY
MICHAEL:YOUR NOT MY BLOOD TYPE BRO”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“shane:do we have a choice
michael:dont think so
shane:then screw it im getting tired shane yawned lets go get eaten at least then i can get some sleep”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“I'm a science nerd! Not a cheerleader.
- Claire Danvers”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“You have to schedule your epiphanies. And be patient.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Pierrot. How . . . odd for you. You’re much more the Harlequin, I should think.’’
‘‘I’ve always thought that Pierrot was the secretly dangerous one,’’ Myrnin said. ‘‘All that
innocence must hide something.’’
Bishop laughed. ‘‘I’ve missed you, fool.’’
‘‘Truly? Odd. I haven’t missed you at all, my lord.’’
That stopped Bishop’s laughter in its tracks, and Claire felt the fear close around her, like
suffocating cold. ‘‘Ah, I remember now why you ceased to amuse, Myrnin. You use
honesty like a club.’’
‘‘I thought it more like a rapier, lord.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

“Breath, Myrnin said. “I'm not much for it myself, but I hear it's quite good for humans.
-Myrnin.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools