The Complete Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes