Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator Quotes

“Hooray!" said the Chief of the Army. "Let's blow everyone up! Bang-bang! Bang-bang!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“We must hurry!’ said Mr. Wonka. ‘We have so much time and so little to do! No! Wait! Strike that! Reverse it!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,” Mr. Wonka said.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“I’m afraid the camera got smashed against the side of the Space Hotel, Mr. President,” Shuckworth replied. The President said a very rude word into the microphone and ten million children across the nation began repeating it gleefully and got smacked by their parents.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“It was an unhappy truth, he told himself, that nearly all people in the world behave badly when there is something really big at stake.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“What if they come after us?” said Mr. Bucket, speaking for the first time. “What if they capture us?” said Mrs. Bucket. “What if they shoot us?” said Grandma Georgina. “What if my beard were made of green spinach?” cried Mr. Wonka. “Bunkum and tummyrot! You’ll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus have discovered America if he’d said ‘What if I sink on the way over? What if I meet pirates? What if I never come back?’ He wouldn’t even have started!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Anyone can ask questions,” said Mr. Wonka. “It’s the answers that count.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“It was an unhappy truth, he told himself, that nearly all people in the world behave badly when there is something really big at stake. Money is the thing they fight over most.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Charlie stood at the open door of the Elevator and stared into the swirling vapors. This, he thought, is what hell must be like. Hell without heat. There was something unholy about it all, something unbelievably diabolical. It was all so deathly quiet, so desolate and empty.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“. . . 'let's learn and note
The art of politics.
Let's teach you how to miss the boat
And how to drop some bricks,
And how to win the people's vote
And lots of other tricks.
Let's learn to make a speech a day
Upon the T.V. screen,
In which you never never say
Exactly what you mean.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“There’s someone over there needs a helping hand and it’s our job to give it.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“The President sucked in his breath sharply. He also sucked in a big fly that happened to be passing at the time. He choked.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“But the launching had been a great success and now that the Space Hotel was safely in orbit, there was a tremendous hustle and bustle to send up the first guests. It was rumored that the President of the United States himself was going to be among the first to stay in the hotel, and of course there was a mad rush by all sorts of other people across the world to book rooms. Several kings and queens had cabled the White House in Washington for reservations, and a Texas millionaire called Orson Cart, who was about to marry a Hollywood starlet called Helen Highwater, was offering one hundred thousand dollars a day for the honeymoon suite. But you cannot send guests to a hotel unless there are lots of people there to look after them, and that explains why there was yet another interesting object orbiting the earth at that moment. This was the large Commuter Capsule containing the entire staff for Space Hotel “U.S.A.” There were managers, assistant managers, desk clerks, waitresses, bellhops, chambermaids, pastry chefs and hall porters. The capsule they were traveling in was manned by the three famous astronauts, Shuckworth, Shanks and Showler, all of them handsome, clever and brave. “In exactly one hour,” said Shuckworth,”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“It is very difficult to phone people in China, Mr. President,” said the Postmaster General. “The country’s so full of Wings and Wongs, every time you wing you get the wong number.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“RECIPE FOR MAKING WONKA-VITE Take a block of finest chocolate weighing one ton (or twenty sackfuls of broken chocolate, whichever is the easier). Place chocolate in very large cauldron and melt over red-hot furnace. When melted, lower the heat slightly so as not to burn the chocolate, but keep it boiling. Now add the following, in precisely the order given, stirring well all the time and allowing each item to dissolve before adding the next: THE HOOF OF A MANTICORE THE TRUNK (AND THE SUITCASE) OF AN ELEPHANT THE YOLKS OF THREE EGGS FROM A WHIFFLE-BIRD A WART FROM A WART-HOG THE HORN OF A COW (IT MUST BE A LOUD HORN) THE FRONT TAIL OF A COCKATRICE SIX OUNCES OF SPRUNGE FROM A YOUNG SLIMESCRAPER TWO HAIRS (AND ONE RABBIT) FROM THE HEAD OF A HIPPOCAMPUS THE BEAK OF A RED-BREASTED WILBATROSS A CORN FROM THE TOE OF A UNICORN THE FOUR TENTACLES OF A QUADROPUS THE HIP (AND THE PO AND THE POT) OF A HIPPOPOTAMUS THE SNOUT OF A PROGHOPPER A MOLE FROM A MOLE THE HIDE (AND THE SEEK) OF A SPOTTED WHANGDOODLE THE WHITES OF TWELVE EGGS FROM A TREE-SQUEAK THE THREE FEET OF A SNOZZ-WANGER (IF YOU CAN’T GET THREE FEET, ONE YARD WILL DO) THE SQUARE-ROOT OF A SOUTH AMERICAN ABACUS THE FANGS OF A VIPER (IT MUST BE A VINDSCREEN VIPER) THE CHEST (AND THE DRAWERS) OF A WILD GROUT When all the above are thoroughly dissolved, boil for a further twenty-seven days but do not stir. At the end of this time, all liquid will have evaporated and there will be left in the bottom of the cauldron only a hard brown lump about the size of a football. Break this open with a hammer and in the very centre of it you will find a small round pill. This pill is WONKA-VITE.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Mr Wonka Goes Too Far The last time we saw Charlie, he was riding high above his home town in the Great Glass Lift. Only a short while before, Mr Wonka had told him that the whole gigantic fabulous Chocolate Factory was his, and now our small friend was returning in triumph with his entire family to take over. The passengers in the Lift (just to remind you) were: Charlie Bucket, our hero. Mr Willy Wonka, chocolate-maker extraordinary. Mr and Mrs Bucket, Charlie’s father and mother. Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine, Mr Bucket’s father and mother. Grandpa George and Grandma Georgina, Mrs Bucket’s father and mother. Grandma Josephine, Grandma Georgina and Grandpa George were still in bed, the bed having been pushed on board just before take-off. Grandpa Joe, as you remember, had got out of bed to go around the Chocolate Factory with Charlie. The Great Glass Lift was a thousand feet up and cruising nicely. The sky was brilliant blue. Everybody on board was wildly excited at the thought of going to live in the famous Chocolate Factory. Grandpa Joe was singing. Charlie was jumping up and down. Mr and Mrs Bucket were smiling for the first time in years, and the three old ones in the bed were grinning at one another with pink toothless gums. ‘What in the world keeps this crazy thing up in the air?’ croaked Grandma Josephine. ‘Madam,’ said Mr Wonka, ‘it is not a lift any longer. Lifts only go up and down inside buildings. But now that it has taken us up into the sky, it has become an ELEVATOR. It is THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Showler here, Mr. President,”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Tell me immediately who those people are in that glass capsule!’ ‘Ah-ha,’ said the Chief Spy, twirling his false moustache.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“There’s three of them in nightshirts! Two old women and one”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“My dear boy,’ Mr Wonka answered, ‘if we don’t come down at a terrific speed, we’ll never burst our way back in through the roof of the factory. It’s not easy to punch a hole in a roof as strong as that.’ ‘But there’s a hole in it already,’ said Charlie. ‘We made it when we came out.’ ‘Then we shall make another,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘Two holes are better than one. Any mouse will tell you that.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“You’ll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“A FAMOUS SWORD SWALLOWER FROM AFGHANISTAN WHO IS NOW TEACHING ME TO EAT MY WORDS (WHAT YOU DO IS YOU TAKE THE S OFF THE BEGINNING OF THE SWORD AND PUT IT ON THE END BEFORE YOU SWALLOW IT).”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Let’s learn to make a speech a day Upon the T.V. screen, In which you never never say Exactly what you mean.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“Only the President was allowed to call her Nanny. The President’s famous cat, Mrs. Taubsypuss, was also in the room. There was absolute silence now in the Presidential study. All eyes were riveted on the T.V. screen as the small glass object, with its booster rockets firing, slid smoothly up behind the giant Space Hotel. “They’re going to link up!” shouted the President. “They’re going on board our Space Hotel!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“What if they come after us?’ said Mr Bucket, speaking for the first time.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“You’d have been fossilized with fear and glued to the ground! Then they’d have got you! You’d have been a cooked cucumber! You’d have been rasped into a thousand tiny bits, grated like cheese and flocculated alive! They’d have made necklaces from your knucklebones and bracelets from your teeth!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“The Nurse's Song

This mighty man of whom I sing,
The greatest of them all,
Was once a teeny little thing,
Just eighteen inches tall.

I knew him as a tiny tot,
I nursed him on my knee.
I used to sit him on the pot
And wait for him to wee.

I always washed between his toes,
And cut his little nails.
I brushed his hair and wiped his nose
And weighed him on the scales.

Through happy childhood days he strayed,
As all nice children should.
I smacked him when he disobeyed,
And stopped when he was good.

It soon began to dawn on me
He wasn't very bright,
Because when he was twenty-three
He couldn't read or write.

"What shall we do?" his parents sob.
"The boy has got the vapors!
He couldn't even get a job
Delivering the papers!"

"Ah-ha," I said, "this little clot
Could be a politician."
"Nanny," he cried, "Oh Nanny, what
A super proposition!"

"Okay," I said, "let's learn and note
The art of politics.
Let's teach you how to miss the boat
And how to drop some bricks,
And how to win the people's vote
And lots of other tricks.

Let's learn to make a speech a day
Upon the T.V. screen,
In which you never never say
Exactly what you mean.
And most important, by the way,
In not to let your teeth decay,
And keep your fingers clean."

And now that I am eighty nine,
It's too late to repent.
The fault was mine the little swine
Became the President.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“mike. “There’s something crazy going on up here. There’s”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator