Harold Quotes

“Harold under his breath: “Ms. Yuka, I would love to kiss the backs of your legs while you were in line in a bank.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“He felt it was a very one-sided situation because the bird could go away from him way easier than he could go away from the bird. Kind of like a bad marriage.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“Harold thought how weird and strange it must be to be a girl. He was glad he wasn’t one because he didn’t think he would be able to do that. Or he wouldn’t want to do that. It’s probably good that you are what you are and that’s it. You don’t get to be both then choose after testing them out. This was in the 1960s not like many many years later when it would become like going through a sexual identity salad bar.

Wright, Steven. Harold (pp. 21-22). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“Looking at the wingless angel Harold firmly believed her shadow should be in color.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“She smelled too. Like a 22 year old girl. He tried to place that smell but he couldn't.

It seemed like a mixture of skin lotion and confidence.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“In Ms Yuka's class he once wrote a poem about it called:

'Listen'
The last lines were -

I know you know you do it,
it doesn't matter to you at all
you just want to keep on
talking
a verbal waterfall”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“because everything doesn’t have to make sense. Just look at the world and your life.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“The imagining part of the factory in his head”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“Harold prayed that he was either insane or not insane.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“two piss holes in the snow.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“THERE ARE NO OTHER PEOPLE, WE ARE THE OTHER PEOPLE”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“How different it would be if, when boats pulled huge nets out of the ocean full of thousands of fish, the fish were screaming in horror.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“Ms. Yuka said: "Who knows how far the earth is from the sun?" Harold imagined yelling: "Look it up!”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“It became a routine for Harold that whenever Ms. Yuka said: "May I have your attention."
Under his breath he would say:
"Get your own attention.”
― Steven Wright, Harold

“Harold was fascinated about how babies were made. Not the actual sex act.
Meaning how easy and simple it was and how any two jerks could do it.
He saw people who had made children and he knew they couldn't change the battery in a car or build a fence or would take 40 minutes to untangle a set of Christmas lights.
He knew it was easier to make a baby than it was to make a cake.”
― Steven Wright, Harold