MARCH

WOODLAND MEWS GOLF SOCIETY

LAUREL AND HARDY CUP,

ISSUE 1

HATS OFF TO WINNERS, AS UNIQUE PAIRING COME TOGETHER, HATS ON TO LOSERS, AS PAIR FREEZE UNDER PRESSURE

DATES OF NOTE
18/3/13 MAYDAY MATCHPLAY
REGISTRATION OPENS FOR MAYDAY EVENT, CONTACT LEE

SUNDAY 17TH MARCH WAS THE END OFF OUR WINTER BREAK, SO
WE THOUGHT. HOWEVER IT SEEMS THE WINTER WAS EXTENTED INTO OUR RE-START TO THE SEASON WITH FREEZING CONDITIONS AND SNOW FALLING FROM THE AIR. ITS SEEMS NOT EVERYONE HAS THE TALENT TO PLAY THERE GAME IN THE SNOW, THE REST JUST SEEM TO NEED THERE HANDICAPS ALTERING. EARLY TEE OFF GROUPS SEEMED TO STRUGGLE TO FIND THERE TOUCH IN THE SNOW LEADING TO A MASSIVE ADVANTAGE TO THE GROUPS TEEING OFF LATER IN THE DAY. TWO PLAYERS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE LATER TEE OFF TIMES WERE THE INTERNATIONAL PAIRING OF JOHN ELY AND SCOTTISH MARK. A COMFORTABLE VICTORY FOR THE PAIRING WHICH COULD BE HARD TO REPEAT ONCE THE SCOTTISH VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE AND MARK HAS TO RETURN TO HIS NATIVE SCOTTISHLAND. INDIVIDUAL SCORING WAS QUITE HIGH ON WHAT WAS VERY DIFFICULT CONDITIONS. WINTER GREENS EFFECTING TOP PREMIER LEAGUE PLAYERS, JAMIE WARD AND RICHARD KENDRICK. ALSO EFFECTED WAS ROOKIE AND LEAGUE 2 PROMOTION CHASING ADAM MILLER. PERHAPS THE SUMMER WILL BRING BETTER TIMES FOR THESE PLAYERS.

WINTER BREAK NOT QUITE OVER AS LAUREL AND HARDY CUP TAKES TO KIRBY MUXLOE

14/4/13

DUNLOP OPEN
WINDMILL VILLAGE GOLF RESORT

19/4/13

WMGS RACE NIGHT

SOUTHWELL RACES, 4:30PM

20/4/13

WMGS 2013 TOUR

FOREST PINES GOLF TOUR

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BIRD?

IT SEEMS A REPORT HAS BEEN SENT TO US REAGARDING A MISSING BIRD , IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT THEN PLEASE CONTACT LEE OR RICHARD ONCE YOU HAVE CAUGHT IT. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS BIRD CAN FLY AND DOES CARRY AWAY SMALL CHILDREN. SO IF YOU ATTENT ANY EVENT WITH A LOT OF SMALL CHILDREN PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

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BETTS CARRIES MILLER TO UNWANTED TITLE,

LAUREL AND HARDY CHAMPIONS

ADAM MILLER KNEW HE HAD TO PICK UP HIS GAME AS ROY SHELTON PICKED OUT HIS NAME TO PAIR UP WITH PHOTOCOPIER REPAIR MAN MICHAEL BETTSY BETTS. AND UNFORTUNATLY ADAM COUNLDNT RAISE HIS GAME TO SAVE THE DOOMED PAIR. FINISHING BOTTOM OF THE TABLE IN THIS PAIRS COMPETITION IM SURE ADAM WOULD HAVE WISH FOR A BETTER BALL FORMAT TO BE IN PLAY, BUT THE IBSTOCK/ELLISTOWN PAIRING UNFORTUNATLY TOOK THE FAMOUS TITLE BY A 5 POINT MARGIN, NOT GIVING ANYBODY ELSE A CHANCE OF TAKING THE TITLE.

OTHER WINNERS FROM THE EVENT INCLUDED A WELCOME RETURN TO THE WINNERS CIRCLE, IAN FOWLER. TAKING THE CLOSES TO THE PIN COMPETITION, AND WITH A COMFORTABLE 3 PUTT WALKED OFF THE GREEN WITH A WELL DESERVED BOGEY. LONGEST DRIVE WAS TAKEN BY THE EVER IMPRESIVE BEN POSNETT, AMAZING HIS PLAYING PARTNERS WITH A DRIVE THAT TIGER WOODS HAS INQUIRED ABOUT. REPORTS ARE THAT TIGER IS LOOKING TO START USING BENS CLUB SPONSER AFTER NIKE FINDING OUT THAT TIGER HAS HAD UPTO 12 DIFFERENT ONES IN HIS BAG AT ANY ONE TIME.

RESULTS
1ST MARK MCCUTCHEON & JOHN ELY 2ND LEE MILLER & LEE MILLER 3RD CHRIS DODDS & ANDY McDONALD 4TH BOB BURCHILL & JOSH LOVITT 5TH JAMIE WARD & PIP SHIRES 6TH IAN FOWLER & MATT ARMSTON 77 72 69 67 63 58 7TH ROY SHELTON & ALAN THURLBY 8TH DAVE LEWIS-THOMAS & ALI MITCHELL 9TH RICHARD KENDRICK & SIMON HOPE 10TH RICHARD FRIEND & BEN POSNETT 11TH MIKE SIMPSON & MARK SEAMAN 12TH MIKE BETTS & ADAM MILLER 57 55 53 52 44 39

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PREMIER LEAGUE NEWS,

LEE MILLER TOOK THE OOM POINTS THIS WEEK, WITH AN UNBELIEVEABLE SCORE, EVEN HIS PLAYING PARTNERS COUNLDNT BELIEVE SOME OF HIS SCORING. LUCKILY FOR LEE, SIMON HOPE COULD COUNT SAVING HIM FROM AN EMBARRASING DISQUALIFICATION. JAMIE WARD WAS THE BOTTOM FEEDER THIS WEEK, ITS WAS A DIFFICULT TASK FOR THE YOUNG RENEGADE TO BE MENTALLY READY AFTER HE RECEIVED HIS INVITATION TO THE TOURNEMENT VERY LATE IN THE DAY.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

LEE MILLER CHRIS DODDS ALI MITCHELL MICHAEL SIMPSON RICHARD KENDRICK MIKE BETTS JOSH LOVITT SIMON HOPE JAMIE WARD ROB LOUCA SAM ADAMS MARK PALLETT

100 80 40 70 20 50 60 30 15 0 0 0

290 260 220 210 200 160 150 100 45 40 0 0

LEAGUE ONE NEWS,

MARK McCUTCHEON TOOK THE HONOURS IN LEAGUE ONE. WITH AN ASTONISHING 41 POINTS. BOB BURCHILL MAKING A HEALTHY SCORE, TO TAKE HIM TOP OF THE TALBE, NOT THAT HELL BE ABLE TO READ THIS, THE BLIND BAT. THE BOTTOM FEEDER THIS WEEK AND A WELCOME RETURN (BY EVERY ONE ELSE IN L1) TO MARK SEAMAN. REPORTS THAT WE WOULDNT BE SEEING SEAMAN ON THE GREENS AGAIN WERE FIRMLY SQUASHED WITH LOVELY DISPLAY FROM OUR ONLY LEFT HANDED PLAYER.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

BOB BURCHILL ROY SHELTON MARK McCUTCHEON DAVE LEWIS THOMAS IAN FOWLER RICHARD FRIEND BEN POSNETT MARK SEAMAN MICK GREGORY AUSSIE IAN DAVID GLOVER DAVID MANSFIELD

80 30 100 60 50 70 40 20 0 0 0 0

270 270 230 220 200 180 100 20 0 0 0 0

LEAGUE TWO NEWS,

AN EXTRA PLAYER JOINING THIS WEEK IN ANDY McDONALD LOOKS SET TO SPICE UP THIS LEAGUE, WITH AN AVERAGE SCORE OF OVER 30 POINTS. THE 6 PLAYERS SHOWED THE REST OF THE WMGS THAT EVEN THOUGH THERE IN THE BOTTOM LEAGUE THEY ARE NOT TO BE IGNORED. BAR ONE, ADAM MILLER, OUR BOTTOM FEEDER STRUGGLED WITH THE PRESSURE HEAPED ON HIM FROM HIS PLAYING PARTNER, BETTSY. PERHAPS THIS IS A LESSON TO ALL THE BIG STARS IN THE PREMIER LEAUGE TO LOOK AFTER THERE YOUNG PLAYING PARTNERS WHEN PAIRED WITH THEM IN THESE PAIRS COMPS.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

PIP SHIRES ALAN THURLBY JOHN ELY ADAM MILLER MATT ARMSTON DEAN HAWLEY DARREN POWELL T. BURGERSTALLER ANDY McDONALD NIGEL MOORE SIMON GILMOUR LEE CHEUNG

100 50 80 40 60 0 0 20 70 0 0 0

280 235 160 150 140 110 100 90 70 50 40 20

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THE SECOND YEAR OF OUR SUPER 18 IS SHOWING ONE LEE MILLER TAKING THE COMPETITION BY STORM WITH A CLEAR 7 POINT LEAD. BUT REMEMBER THIS COMPETITION ISNT OVER TIL THE END OF THE YEAR WITH YOUR 6 WORST SCORES REMOVED FROM YOUR SCORECARD. THIS TABLES TELLS YOU THE SCORE AND THE AMOUNT OF 0S YOU STILL HAVE ON YOUR BEST 18 SCORES. WELL POST A MORE DETAILED ONE WITH TWO ROUNDS TO GO.

IN FOR THE CHOP,

PIP SHIRES, 22 (-4) MARK McCUTCHEON, 13 (-2) ANDY McDONALD, 24 (-1) LEE MILLER, 20 (-1) CHRIS DODDS, 20 (-1) BOB BURCHILL, 22 (-1)

Lee Miller Richard Kendrick Josh Lovitt Mark McCutcheon Ali Mitchell Michael Simpson Roy Shelton Bob Burchell Chris Dodds Mike Betts Alan Thurby Simon Hope Dave Lewis Pip Shires Ben Posnett Matt Armston Ian Fowler Jamie Ward Richard Friend Nigel Moore Rob Louca Lee Cheung Adam Miller Darren Powell John Ely Toby Burgerstaller Simon Gilmour Dean Hawley Mark Seaman Sam Adams Mark Pallett Mick Gregory Aussie Ian David Glover David Mansfield Jamie Durham

1 2 0 2 4 3 2 2 5 4 4 4 6 5 5 5 6 7 7 8 8 9 6 9 10 9 10 10 11 12 12 12 12 12 12 12

30 23 22 22 19 19 19 19 18 17 16 15 15 15 14 12 11 9 9 9 8 8 7 6 5 4 4 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

IAN FOWLER RICHARD KENDRICK LEE MILLER BEN POSNETT ROY SHELTON

9 5 5 4 4

ADAM MILLER CHRIS DODDS JOSH LOVITT MARK SEAMAN DAVE LEWIS

-10 -6 -5 -5 -3

EACN MONTH WE WILL BE FEATURING TWO MEMBERS WITH LITTLE FACTS JUST TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BETTER. WE WILL BE HANDING OUT A SHEET OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF EVENTS TO A FEW MEMBERS TO START US OFF.

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THE GRAND NATIONAL IS COMING UP TO ITS 166

TH RUNNING IN APRIL AND LIKE THE GRAND NATIONAL, THE ANNUAL WMGS TOUR HAS QUICKLY FOUND A FOND PLACE IN OUR HEARTS. THIS YEAR WILL BE A RECORD 2ND YEAR THAT WE THE HACKERS OF THE GREEN CARPET WILL BE TAKING A TRIP TO THE UNKNOWN. LAST YEARS EVENT PROVED VERY POPULAR WITH ALL THE PLAYERS, EVEN WITH THE SUNDAY/MONDAY FORMAT BEING USED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE SHORT HISTORY OF THIS HISTORIC EVENT.

A RADICAL CHANGE TO THE FORMAT THIS YEAR, WITH MANAGING DIRECTOR OF THE TOUR, MR MILLER, CHANGING THE TOUR TO A SATURDAY/SUNDAY EVENT. TOO MUCH AMAZMENT TO THE PLAYERS LEE MILLER HAD ACOMODATED PLAYERS SUCH AS MARK PALLETT TO ALLOW THEM TO JOIN AS THEY COULDNT GET TIME OF SCHOOL FOR THE MID WEEK EVENTS. THE OTHER PLAYERS, THAT NEVER MISS A TOUR HAD TO FRANTICALY CHECK THERE DIARYS TO ACCOMMODATE THESE RADICAL CHANGES. ONCE THESE PROBLEMS WITH TOUR DATES WHERE FIXED, WE HAD A RECORD AMOUNT OF ENTRIES FOR PARTICIPATION ON THE TOUR, SECOND ONLY TO THE 2012 TOUR IN WORCESTER. ONLY MARK PALLETT NOT MAKING ENQUIRYS INTO DATES/TIMES/PRICES. ONCE THE DIRECTORS LOOKED INTO THE PLAYERS AND THERE QUALITIES THEY DECIDED THAT ONLY ONE PLAYER SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO GO DUE TO HIS GINGER HAIR, BUT DUE TO HIS CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MD OF WMGS WE DECIDED TO LET ADAM GO ANYWAY. THE TOUR WILL TAKE PLACE AT FOREST PINES GOLF COURSE NEAR SCUNTHORPE, A BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE COUNTRY, SECOND ONLY TO HULL IN THE REGION. AND ONCE THERE AT THE COURSE, PLAYERS WILL ENJOY REFRESHMENTS FROM THE CLUBHOUSE BEFORE TEEING OFF. REFRESHMENTS WILL NOT BE LIMITED ON TOUR AND AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY AS YOU LIKE. ONCE REFRESHMENTS HAVE BEEN ENJOYED WE WILL BE TEEING OF ON COURSE, COMPETING FOR 8 COMPETITONS OVER THE WEEKEND. THE 9TH COMPETITION HAS BEEN PULLED DUE TO ROY SHELTONS AMAZING U-TURN ON HIS PARTICIPATION. ONCE THE COURSE HAS BEEN BLESSED WITH OUR TALENTS AND ALL THE HOLES HAVE BEEN COMPLTETED, WE WILL BE INVITED TO SIT DOWN FOR A EVENING MEAL UPTO THE PLEASURABLE SOME OF 20. WHICH, IN SCUNTHORPE COULD BY YOU A HOUSE, 2 IF YOU WANT TO TRAVEL OVER TO HULL. ONCE THE FINEST FOOD OR BURGERS ON THE MENU HAS BEEN DIVULDGED WE THEN OFFER THE TOUR AMETUERS 12 HOURS OF FREE TIME, WHICH I HAVE NO DOUBT WILL INVOLVE A COUPLE OF LATE NIGHT RIBENNAS BEFORE BED TIME. THE TALENT WILL HAVE AN EARLY RISE AROUND 7AM FOR A SPOT OF BREAKFAST OR JUST SOME COFFEE FOR THOSE THAT MIXED THERE RIBENNA WITH LEMONADE. A QUICK CHAT ABOUT WHO GOT WHAT SLEEP AND WHO SNORES THE LOUDEST WILL SOON BE FOLLOWED BY AN EARLY MORING TEE OFF TO SEE WHO GOES HOME AS CHAMPION OF TOUR 2013.

SATURDAY 20TH APRIL 10:00 MEET UP, 11:40 TEE OFF, AFTER GOLF BOOK IN HOTEL, 20:00 DINNER, 21:15 TAXI,

SUNDAY 21ST APRIL 2:00 TAXI, 7:00 BREAKFAST, 8:45 CHECK OUT OF HOTEL, 9:30 TEE OFF, 14:30 AWARDS CEREMONY

ROY LEAVES IN ONE DIRECTION WITH WMGS SPECIAL AWARD OF THE MONTH
IT IS WELL KNOWN THROUGHOUT OUR SOCIETY THAT WE ALL HAVE VERY DIFFERENT TASTES IN THE THINGS WE ENJOY OUT OFF THE SOCIETY, BUT NOT MANY NEW OFF ROYS LOVE FOR 4 YOUNG BOYS. ROY WONT BE JOINING US THIS YEAR ON TOUR AS HE HAS HIS 3RD CONCERT OF THE WEEK ON THE SATURDAY NIGHT WITH THE ONE DIRECTION. ROY YOU WILL SADLY BE MISSED