Issue 24 November 2012

STOFFRAGETTE
By Sabrina, Prized Slave to Stoff

A coin, thats all the glittery thing was. Hairy sat down on the hard ground with a huff; hed thought it was the centre of the maze, he had no idea what might be at the centre, but it seemed the most likely explanation. Hairy turned the coin over in his paw, there were some scratches on the back just over Willows face (for ignorant slaves, Willow is the humans Queens corgis, whos actually in charge), in the right light the scratches could be in the shape of an E, or possibly a P. But Hairy didnt have the time to worry about what it was now, he had to get to the middle of the maze before Biscuit did and before the shadow dog came back. And so he held the coin between his teeth and marched off down the path, only paw-sing to watch Dashers unconscious body being lifted out of the maze on a stretcher of grass by a couple of kites, who took Dasher to the medicats by the entrance so he could be attended to Hairy could hear Stoffs voice reassuring that he had only passed out in terror one of the things in the maze, and that he would be fine. Hairy trembled as he thought of what could possibly be so horrible lurking in the maze that a strong and brave cat like Dasher would pass out? His pace increased, hed been walking for quite a while now and he was getting desperate, as he ran past along the path he
NEWSLETTER
December 2012 Issue 24
HAIRY PLOTTER AND THE GOBLET OF MILK TASK THE 3RD, PART THREE
heard growls and hisses from the depths of the hedges and he tried not to visualise what they might have come from. Then, like a beam of light in a tunnel of darkness, he saw something straight ahead; the centre! He ran towards it eagerly, when he reached it he found it was marble steps and as he climbed he was raised above the tops of the hedges and finally he reached the top where there were two more kites sitting by a beautiful, embroidered, velvet cushion. Climb aboard, champion! one said, and Hairy immediately settled himself on the extremely comfortable cushion. The kites then carried the cushion towards the entrance to the maze; as they did so, Hairy took the coin from between his teeth and inspected it closely. Could that shape be an F? Soon the kites reached Stoff on his podium, and they lowered Hairy next to him; Hairy could see kites carrying Tiny and Biscuit (who was looking mischievous and very sly) on slightly less beautiful cushions. Stoff beamed at Hairy,
Congratulations, pal, he said you did it! and Hairy grinned, catching the eye of Iris who was gazing at him with eyes full of tears. You did brilliantly! Well done! Hairy hadnt noticed LT joining him on the podium, it was customary for the winning contestants mentor to stand with him on the podium. I am honoured to present you your prize the Goblet of Milk! exclaimed Stoff, and as Hairy raised his paw to take the Goblet, the coin he found in the maze fell to the floor. Oh, whoops! Just a coin I found on the maze floor, dont happen to know whose it is, do you Stoff? asked Hairy, but Stoffs eyes were wide with horror, and if cats could turn pale he would have done. No, Hairy, I dont believe it! No! What? What is it? Get him! and Stoff pointed at Hairy with his claw as one of the kites flew down and picked Hairy up by the scruff of the neck. No, no, no... he cant, I know him, he wouldnt! shouted LT at Stoff and the suddenly aggressive crowd. But Stoff ignored her and
STOFFRAGETTE NEWSLETTER
marched off to a tent with the What? Its just an old, scratched kite holding Hairy following. coin! It means nothing! When they got inside, the Kite The F on the back Hairy, put Hairy down, and stood by the Felimorts F. Only minions of door so as he could not run Felimort carry these coins, Hairy, away. Stoff was nose-to-nose youve been caught red clawed. with Hairy. Stoff looked down his whiskers at Dont you take me for a fool, Mr Hairy. Take him to the Naughty Plotter. How dare you? Room. He said to the attentive There must be some sort of kite, who picked Hairy up by the mistake; I dont know whats scruff of the neck and lead him going on! out of the tent. And as he walked wasnt you! I know- but she was Dont lie to me, how long have past the hoard of people, Hairy cut off by another cat pushing you been working for Felimort? hung his head (which is no mean her aside to get a better look at No! Never! feat, given the scruff of his neck the fugitive, being flown swiftly Do you think I dont know what was betwixt the beak of a kite). to damnation... this is? Stoff was holding up the As the kite flew away to the coin, Hairy hadnt noticed hed Naughty Room, he heard LT picked it up. scream, Ill get you out Hairy! It What a cliff hanger! What on earth will happen to Hairy? Will LT be able to save him? You decide! This months competition is to write the next instalment of Hairy Plotter, please email me entries at stoffragettes@live.co.uk
BILBO GOES ON AN ADVENTURE

Bilbo Baggins, our new Stoffragette Adventure Hamster Correspondent, reports on his latest excursions (please excuse lack of literacy, hes one month old and still learning to read)
Was wiv bruvs, put in box and now hav own cage and nuts. V exciting.
Merry Christmas!
Email address stoffragettes@live.co.uk Please Visit our Facebook page! RSPCA Cruelty Hotline - 0300 1234 999
STOFFRAGETTE NEWSLETTER
FUR FLIES IN FELINE FURY

Your roving reporter....The Velvet Paw Reports for this Months Magazine..... The Velvet Paw investigates..Cat Fight at Downing Street.. or should it be, finally with all the exhausting and
depressing political news, Cats Decide To Take Matters Into Their Own Paws? I read the article in the Slaves paper much to my relief as I am SO fed up with the boring reports of arguments in what the Slaves call Houses of Parliament. I think it should be called Meows of Parliament given the noises they always seem to make, but they are not happy meows, I rather think they are unhappy meows rather like when one of our number fails to catch a mouse. They sound so frustrated. A good fight would sort it all out. So it seems Freya Osborne and Larry Cameron have decided to take matters further and show the Chancellor and the Prime Minister how things should be done. Larry Cameron (aka Prime Pussycat) has lived at 10 Downing Street for a couple of years. His Slaves seem to be looking after him well and he seems to be thriving. However, reports of the lack of mouse catching will not stand him in good stead with the majority of our readers, however, I understand he is now taking evening classes to make up for his shortfall. Freya Osborne (Chancellor of the Exclawcur), has been away for three years at Ninja school which seems to have paid off. Look at her style and the way she has the upper paw. She is immediately in charge of the situation and is in no way cowering like Larry. I interviewed Freya and Larry after the fight and have some quotes for you: Larry: I think our Slaves should now understand how to really fight (On answering the question of how he managed to lose I like to ask the difficult questions) It was a bad day, however I am a fempurrist at heart and believe we should always give the Queens the upper paw (as much as I like Larry I thought this a little wet.) Freya: My Slaves were so proud of me and I had fresh chicken for a week note to self, do this more often. The three years of Ninja school? Yes, every cat should go. It is hard and the food is somewhat boring fish, fish and fish, (they believe that a raw fish diet can improve brain power and therefore paw power) but learning to fight properly is AMAZING. I can also catch and kill a mouse in 3 seconds. (Go girl!) (I then asked the only question that is on every girls mind, what about Larry?) Larry? Oh, I call him Larry The Lamb. A real sweet heart but really rather stupid. (So no hint of romance??) Absolutely not! So let us hope that the Slaves will have seen the fight and learned that really Ninja School is the way to go if you want to become a Member of Parliament. Or should I say a Member of Purriment.
The Velvet Paw
Email address stoffragettes@live.co.uk Please Visit our Facebook page! RSPCA Cruelty Hotline - 0300 1234 999

Issue 24 November 2012

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Issue 24 November 2012

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STOFFRAGETTE

By Sabrina, Prized Slave to Stoff

December 2012 Issue 24

December 2012 Issue 24

BILBO GOES ON AN ADVENTURE

December 2012 Issue 24

FUR FLIES IN FELINE FURY

The Velvet Paw

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