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    TRAIT Practice - Sentence Fluency

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    Rose Anne Gaspar
    Here are revised versions of the passages with improved sentence fluency: A. An oil tanker spilled over 11 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Alaska, spreading the spill over 600 square miles. The oil washed up on beaches and now threatens the lives of whales and sea lions that live in the area, as well as other animals. The spill also endangers Alaska's fishing industry. Cleaning up the massive spill will be a difficult, months-long process costing millions of dollars. B. Dear Nadia, Thank you so much for the blue shirt you gave me for my birthday. I love the style and color, and it fits me perfectly. This great gift is just right - I can wear it often with

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    TRAIT Practice - Sentence Fluency

    Uploaded by

    Rose Anne Gaspar
    697 views8 pages
    Here are revised versions of the passages with improved sentence fluency: A. An oil tanker spilled over 11 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Alaska, spreading the spill over 600 square miles. The oil washed up on beaches and now threatens the lives of whales and sea lions that live in the area, as well as other animals. The spill also endangers Alaska's fishing industry. Cleaning up the massive spill will be a difficult, months-long process costing millions of dollars. B. Dear Nadia, Thank you so much for the blue shirt you gave me for my birthday. I love the style and color, and it fits me perfectly. This great gift is just right - I can wear it often with

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    Here are revised versions of the passages with improved sentence fluency: A. An oil tanker spilled over 11 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Alaska, spreading the spill over 600 square miles. The oil washed up on beaches and now threatens the lives of whales and sea lions that live in the area, as well as other animals. The spill also endangers Alaska's fishing industry. Cleaning up the massive spill will be a difficult, months-long process costing millions of dollars. B. Dear Nadia, Thank you so much for the blue shirt you gave me for my birthday. I love the style and color, and it fits me perfectly. This great gift is just right - I can wear it often with

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    697 views8 pages

    TRAIT Practice - Sentence Fluency

    Uploaded by

    Rose Anne Gaspar
    Here are revised versions of the passages with improved sentence fluency: A. An oil tanker spilled over 11 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Alaska, spreading the spill over 600 square miles. The oil washed up on beaches and now threatens the lives of whales and sea lions that live in the area, as well as other animals. The spill also endangers Alaska's fishing industry. Cleaning up the massive spill will be a difficult, months-long process costing millions of dollars. B. Dear Nadia, Thank you so much for the blue shirt you gave me for my birthday. I love the style and color, and it fits me perfectly. This great gift is just right - I can wear it often with

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
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    The key takeaways are tips for improving sentence fluency such as combining short sentences, using connecting words, adding details, and avoiding run-ons and shifts in voice.

    Some tips for improving sentence fluency include combining short choppy sentences, using connecting words to show how ideas relate, adding details to complete the picture, and avoiding run-ons and ramblers by rewriting sentences with multiple sentences.

    Examples of techniques for improving sentence structure given include combining a series of little sentences, using connecting words, adding details, making sure pronoun reference is clear, and avoiding shifts in voice.

    TRAIT PRACTICE:

    SENTENCE FLUENCY
    PRACTICE FOR: Beginning sentences in different ways Writing sentences of varying lengths Writing sentences that flow well
    HOTTIPSFORWRITINGBETTERSENTENCES:


    1. Combineaseriesoflittle,choppysentencesintoonesmoothsentence: Thetornadostruck. Itstruckwithoutwarning. Itcauseddamage. Thedamagewasextensive. Writeonesentenceusingallfourofsentences: _____________________________________________________________________________ 2. Useconnectingwords(but,also,and,yet,however,nevertheless)toshowhowideasrelate. Thespeakerwasyoung,nervous,andinexperienced. Shemesmerizedthecrowd. Writeonesentenceusingaconnectingword: _____________________________________________________________________________ 3. Adddetailstocompletethepicture. Shestoodthere,lookingatus. Writethissentenceaddingdetail: _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. Watchoutforrunons(multiplesentencesjammedtogether). Ithoughthisboringlecturewouldneverendmyeyelidsweredroopingmyfeetwere goingnumb. Rewritethesentenceusingmorethanonesentence: 5. Watchoutforramblersrunonswithandinserted.

    Herbywasclumsyandheservedthesaladanditspilledoneverythingandmymother abouthadafitandshescreamedandthecathidunderthestairs.

    Rewritethesentenceusingmorethanonesentence: 6. Makesurepronounreferenceisclear. a. Whenhestuffedtheparrotintothecage,itmadeanoddsqueakysound.(Whatmade thesoundtheparrotorthecage?) Rewritethesentencemakingitclear: 7. Avoidshiftsinvoice. a. Iwaswalkingdownthestreetonthiscold,clearday,andsuddenly,yousawthisdark cloudonthehorizon. Rewritethesentencewithconsistentvoice: _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________

    Sentence Fluency

    Read the following paragraph. SASHA I love my dog Sasha. She is cute. She is black. She has white spots around her eyes. She has a short tail. Her tail is short because it got run over once. She has a little black nose. She has one ear that stands up. She has another ear that lays down. She has a pink tongue. She licks everyone. She has wet licks. Sasha is curious. Sasha digs holes. Sasha looks for things in the holes. She dug up a bone once. She stuck her nose down a deep hole once. She got surprised when she heard bees. Sasha got stung and ran away. Sasha doesnt go by that hole anymore. Sasha drags home different things. Once she brought home a box. She also brought home a bicycle wheel. She even dragged home a Tiny Tike tricycle. She got in trouble. She had to give it back. I hope Sasha lives forever!

    Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different?

    Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length? If so, the writing is probably monotonous and not written with very good sentence fluency. There should be short and long sentences.

    Now read the revised edition of the paragraph about Sasha.

    Sasha I love my dog Sasha, from the tip of her little black nose to the end of her stumpy tail, still bent from when she got ran over. Sasha has one ear that stands up and one that lies down. She also has a pink tongue she uses to lick everyones face. Unfortunately for Sasha, she is very curious, and this gets her into trouble. She loves to dig, and she often finds bones in the yard. Once, however, she dug up a nest of bees and got stung. Boy, did she run fast! Sasha is also a collector. She has collected everything from boxes to bicycle wheels to a small tricycle. When she had to give the tricycle back, she pouted for a week. Can you see how special Sasha is? In spite of all her bad habits and funny looks, I hope she lives forever!

    Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different? Is the sentence fluency different in this sample?

    Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length or are they different lengths? Is the writing smoother?

    RevisingYourDraft

    Thinkaboutit/Writeitdown

    1. Thisparagraphhaseightsentences.Mostofthemareveryshort.Revise thisparagraphbycombining.Trytomakeitfoursentencesinall.
    Dinosaursruledtheland.Theylivedformorethan140millionyears.Thenthey disappeared.Ithappenedsuddenly.Somescientiststhinktheclimatechanged. Theythinkitbecameverycold.Dinosaurscouldnotliveinthecold.Theydied off.

    2. Mostofthesesentencesbeginwiththesameword.Revisetheparagraph bychangingsomeofthewordsandbycombiningsentences.
    Thebrontosauruswasthelargestdinosaur.Itwasthegiantofthedinosaur world.Itstood12to15feethigh.Itwasmorethan70feetlong.Itwalkedon fourlegs.Ithadheavylegslikeanelephant.Ithadagiganticbody.Itlivedin marshyplaces.Itateplants.

    Practice:

    SmoothingOuttheWriting
    Directions:Revisethesedraftssothatthewritingsoundssmooth.Takeoutoraddwords. Movewordsaround.Combineshortsentenceswhentoomanyofthembegininthesameway. Whenyouarefinished,writeacleancopyofthereviseddraft.

    A. Thisispartofanewsreport.
    Anoiltankerspilledoil.ItspilledintotheGulfofAlaska.Itspilledover11million gallonsofoil.Theoilspreadover600squaremilesofthegulf.Theoilwashedupon thebeachesalso.Thespillthreatensthelivesofwhaleswholiveinthearea.It threatensthesealionswholiveintheareatoo.Itthreatensotheranimals.Itthreatens thefishingindustryinAlaskaalso.Itwillbeadifficultjobcleaningupthespill.Itwill takemanymonths.Itwillcostmillionsofdollars.

    B. Thisisadraftofathankyounote.
    DearNadia, Thanksforthebirthdaypresentyougaveme.Thankyoufortheblueshirt,Ilike

    theblueshirt.Ilikeitsstyle.Ilikeitscolor.Itfitsmejustright.Itsagreatpresent.Its perfect.Icanwearitalot.Icanwearitforalotofthings.Icanwearitwithmany outfits.Illasksomeonetotakeapictureofme.Illweartheshirt.Illsendthepicture toyou.Youllseehowhandsomeyourbrotherhasbecome! Nick

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