THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS SELF-ESTEEM, FEAR OF INTIMACY, COMFORT WITH WOMANHOOD AND COMFORT

WITH SEXUALITY
Tanya S. Scheffler and Peter J. Naus University of St. Jeromes College Waterloo, Ontario The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, Vol. 8(1) Spring 1999, p. 39-45

ABSTRACT: This study investigated the relationship of fatherly affirmation to women's self-esteem and other psychosexual characteristics. Female university student (n=57) completed questionnaires that measured their perception of their father's unconditional positive regard for them, perceptions of their father's feelings about their mother, self-esteem, fear of intimate relationships, comfort with their womanhood, and comfort with sexuality. It was predicted that perceived fatherly affirmation would be positively associated with self-esteem and negatively associated with fear of intimacy. These predictions were confirmed. It was also predicted that there would be a positive association between perceived fatherly affirmation and comfort with womanhood. This prediction was not confirmed. As predicted womens comfort or discomfort with their sexual experiences was related to their perceived affirmation by their fathers.

INTRODUCTION Research on the effect of the family on womens psychological development has focused primarily on the influence of the mother-daughter relationship. Although fathers might also be expected to have an impact on a daughters psychosexual development, few studies have addressed this issue despite anecdotal evidence suggesting that fathers can have a considerable effect on a young womans self-esteem and on her eventual choice of men. Forsman (1989) found that womens perception of their fathers unconditional regard was significantly related to self-esteem, whereas their perception of their mothers unconditional regard was only weakly related to self-esteem. Richards, Gitelson, Petersen and Hurtig (1991) found that girls who perceived their father as being warm and supportive had higher self-esteem and that their ego development was only weakly related to their perceptions of the mothering they experienced. Schulenberg, Vondracek, and Crouter (1984) found that career orientation among college women was more contingent on their fathers influence and attitude toward career roles than on their mothers influence. Cattell (1982) discovered a similarity between a father and his eldest daughter on central character traits such as ego strength, internalized self-control, and low Correspondence confirming this paper should be addressed to Dr. Peter Naus 847 Queens Blvd., Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, N2M 1A6.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 1

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

internal conflict. These observations are not intended to diminish the influence of mothers on their daughters psychosexual development, but rather to illustrate the limited attention given to the impact of fathers in this area. In their work on the influence of fatherly affirmation on the psychosexual development of young men, Naus & Theis (1994, 1995) found a relationship between a fathers unconditional positive regard and such characteristics as self-esteem and comfort with masculinity. One might expect that a fathers affirmation could have a similar affect on a young womans self-esteem, comfort with her womanhood, and her subsequent openness to the pleasurable aspects of sex. For example, a father who was intimidating and avoided intimacy might well engender insecurity and fear of intimacy. A father who withdrew from his daughter when she began to develop physically during and after puberty (e.g. by no longer playing sports with her or showing physical affection or perhaps by even avoiding her), might similarly cause her to feel uncomfortable with her sense of herself as a woman and with her sexuality. There is some support for these speculations in the literature. Based on a variety of sources, including her interviews with 150 U.S. women aged 18-70 and with 75 fathers of daughters, Secunda (1992) concluded that a sizeable number of men and women grew up with a remote and aloof father. She suggested that women who do not feel affirmed by their father tend to respond to the men in their lives as they responded to their elusive father, i.e. they desperately seek intimacy but are unable to believe that men can be trusted to remain close and are thus always on guard. Fields (1983), Owen (1983) and Sharpe (1994) found that a fathers approval has a strong effect on his daughters self-esteem and sexuality. Lebe (1986) described the importance of a fathers encouragement in a young womans emotional development and emphasized the detrimental effect that lack of such encouragement can have on a womans feelings of self-worth and sense of femininity. Fisher (1989) demonstrated that a womans perception of her fathers attentiveness towards her during her childhood, rather than her perception of her mothers attentiveness, was related to her ability to reach orgasm consistently. While it is important that a daughter identifies with her mother, it is hypothesized that a womans self-esteem, self-definition, comfort with her femininity, and comfort with her sexuality are also influenced by her fathers acceptance. Since the term femininity might imply a particular stereotypical sex role expectation that was neither intended nor studied in this investigation, we use the phrase comfort with womanhood to identify our measure of the extent to which a respondent felt she had the characteristics that she thought a woman should have. In studying the effect of fatherly affirmation on psychosexual characteristics of male university students, Naus & Theis (1994, 1995) also collected unpublished evidence that fatherly affirmation had an effect on self-esteem in women but not on their fear of intimacy. The present study used expanded and improved measures on a larger sample of female university students to determine the relationship between fatherly affirmation and womens self-esteem, fear of intimacy, comfort with womanhood, and construction of sexuality (i.e. feelings of comfort and success in sexual relationships).

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS

Page 2

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

METHODS PARTICIPANTS Fifty-seven female students from three undergraduate psychology courses at a university in south western Ontario volunteered to take part in the study. The majority of them (77%) were between 20 and 24 years of age and single (87%). They represented a range of majors, though most were arts students (70%). All but three of the participants were undergraduate students. They received neither payment nor course credit for their participation. A few of the participants were not born in Canada. INSTRUMENTS Participants were asked to fill-out a questionnaire containing 5 scales: Rosenbergs Scale of Self-Esteem, Barrett-Lennards Relationship Inventory (with five questions added in order to ascertain a womans perception of her fathers feelings about and treatment of her mother), and scales dealing with Fear of Intimacy, Comfort with Womanhood, and Construction of Sexuality (a copy of the various instruments can be obtained from the second author). ROSENBERGS SCALE OF SELF-ESTEEM The scale used to measure self-esteem is the frequently used Rosenberg Scale of Self-Esteem (Rosenberg, 1989). The scale consists of 10 statements that describe how one feels about oneself. Respondents rate their level of agreement with each statement on a four-point scale with a low score signifying high self-esteem. Hale, Fiedler & Cochran (1992) have shown the validity and reliability of the scale to be acceptable. FATHERLY AFFIRMATION All of the items in the Barrett-Lennards Relationship Inventory (Barrett-Lennard, 1978) were used to measure fatherly affirmation, with the exception of those that were dropped after an internal consistency analysis of the unconditionality scale of the Barrett-Lennards Relationship Inventory by Naus and Theis (1994). The measure consists of 56 items that are rated on a six-point scale. Respondents rate how they feel their father feels or behaves towards them. The higher the score, the higher the perceived fatherly affirmation. Five questions were added to the end of this inventory in order to determine participants perceptions of how their father feels or behaves towards their mother. This measure was included for exploratory purposes to see whether perceived feelings and behaviour of the father with respect to the mother would relate to the other variables of the study. FEAR OF INTIMACY SCALE The Fear of Intimacy Scale (FIS) developed by Descutner and Thelen (1991) was used to measure comfort with intimacy. The scale consists of two parts. Part A contains 30 statements that require respondents to imagine themselves in a close dating relationship and to indicate how strongly they agree or disagree with each statement on a five-point scale. Part B consists of five statements pertaining to their past relationships that respondents rate on a five-point scale. Descutner and Thelen (1991) have shown the scale to be a valid and reliable measure of individuals anxiety about close dating relationships. The higher the FIS score the lower the fear of intimate relationships.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 3

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

COMFORT WITH WOMANHOOD SCALES Comfort with womanhood was measured indirectly and directly. The indirect measure (Comfort with Womanhood l) was an adaptation of the Masculinity Scale employed by Naus and Theis (1995). Respondents were first asked to list ten attributes they believed women should have. Next, they were asked to indicate on a separate page how well each attribute applied to themselves, using a five-point rating scale. it was assumed that the more applicable to oneself one considered these attributes to be, the more comfortable one felt with ones womanhood. Thus, a higher score indicates a greater comfort with ones womanhood. The more direct measure (Comfort with Womanhood 2) used a five-point scale on which respondents rated their degree of satisfaction with the type of woman they are. Although both scales were designed to parallel the Masculinity Scale used by Naus and Theis (1995), we refer to them as comfort with womanhood scales since respondents independently and individually identified the attributes they thought women should have and were not asked to compare themselves with a particular set of expectations identified by the researchers or with traditional notions of femininity. CONSTRUCTION OF SEXUALITY Naus and Theis (1995) designed an instrument to ascertain whether lack of fatherly affirmation was associated with a mans need to prove himself in sexual experiences. The scale, therefore, emphasized dominance in a sexual relationship. In the present study the instrument was modified to allow for an exploration of possible relationships between perceived fatherly affirmation and a womans experience of sexuality. The questions sought to determine whether a fathers affirmation of a womans sexuality is related to her feeling comfortable and successful in sexual relationships, as has been suggested by Lebe (1986) and Fisher (1989). Only participants who had at least one sexual experience with another person were supposed to respond to the items in this scale. They were asked to recall how often they experienced each of thirty feelings or sensations whenever they engaged in some sort of sexual activity. Fifteen of the items were the same as those in the scale by Naus and Theis (1995). All items were rated on a five-point scale. PROCEDURE Participants were recruited either by the researcher or the course instructor, who provided a general description of the study and an estimate of the time involved in filling but the questionnaire. Participants were asked to respond to the questionnaire at their own convenience, but to do so privately, and to return it at one of the next classes. They were instructed to not put their name on any of the materials and were assured that their answers would be treated confidentially. RESULTS PRINCIPAL COMPONENT ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUALITY SCALE To ascertain which common factors underlie the various items of the sexuality questionnaire, a principal component analysis was applied to the answers. Nine factors were extracted of which three accounted for a substantial portion of the variance (47.2%). It was decided to take the items with high loadings on the first factor (accounting for 29.8% of the variance) and low loadings on the other two factors, as the measure of a respondents construction of her sexuality.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 4

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

There were eleven such items (See Table 1). The content of these items suggests that they measured the womens degree of comfort with their sexuality.

Table 1 Comfort with Ones Sexuality (Based on a Principal Component Analysis of the Sexuality Questionnaire)

Whenever you engage in some sort of sexual activity with another person, how often do you experience each of the following? Factor 1 - Comfort with sexuality 2. It makes me feel dirty (unclean). 3. It makes me feel uncomfortable. 6. I feel good because of sharing pleasure with the other person. 7. I feel attractive and desirable. 10. It makes me feel good about myself. 16. I feel loved and cared for. 19. It makes me worry about not performing well. 20. I feel incapable of discussing my sexual wishes. 21. I feel in control. 22. It makes me feel helpless. 23. It makes me happy.

CORRELATIONAL ANALYSES Product-moment correlations were computed between on the one hand scores for perceived fatherly affirmation, and on the other, scores for self-esteem, fear of intimacy, construction of sexuality (labelled comfort with ones sexuality because of the results of the principal component analysis), comfort with ones womanhood, and perceived feelings about and treatment of ones mother by ones father. These correlations are presented in Table 2. As can be seen from the data in the first column of Table 2, there were significant correlations between perceived fatherly affirmation and self-esteem, fear of intimacy, comfort with sexuality, and Perception of fathers feeling towards mother, but not with comfort with womanhood. Following Naus and Theis (1995), we sought to determine whether the correlations between perceived fatherly affirmation and fear of intimacy and comfort with ones sexuality were spurious because of the correlations of the variables involved with self-esteem. A partial correlational analysis controlling for the effects of self-esteem (see Table 2, column 2) yielded findings that were not essentially different from those of the original analysis. The correlation of fatherly affirmation with fear of intimacy and comfort with sexuality does not appear to be simply a result of the association of these factors with self-esteem.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 5

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

Table 2
Correlations Between Perceived Fatherly Affirmation and the Other Variables of the Study. With and Without Controlling for Self-Esteem and for Perceived Feelings of Father Towards Mother

Fatherly Affirmation

Fatherly Affirmation (Controlling for Self-Esteem)

Fatherly Affirmation (Controlling for Perception of Fathers Feelings towards Mother)

Self-esteem

-0.3123 (N = 53; p = 0.023) -0.4887 (N= 53; p < 0.0001) 0.4339 (N = 47; p = 0.002) 0.0966 (N = 51; p =0.500) 0.2210 (N = 51, p =0.119) 0.6424 (N = 53; p < 0.0001)

n/a

-0.2873 (N = 50; p = 0.039) -0.4034 (N = 50; p = 0.003) 0.3131 (N = 44; p = 0.034) 0.0887 (N = 48; p = 0.540) 0.1034 (N = 48; p =0.475) n/a

Fear of intimacy

-0.4478 (N = 50; p = 0.001) 0.3750 (N = 44; p = 0.010) 0.0165 (N = 48; p =0.909) 0.1436 (N = 48; p = 0.320) 0.6347 (N = 50; p < 0.0001)

Construction of sexuality Comfort with womanhood 1 Comfort with womanhood 2 Perception of fathers feelings towards mother

Variability of N is due to missing variables, i.e., some participants chose not to fill out all of the questionnaires.

We found surprisingly high correlations between respondents perceptions of their fathers feelings towards their mother and the other variables of the study. The correlation between this variable and perceived fatherly affirmation was 0.64 (see Table 2, column 1). To examine how perception of fathers feelings towards mother might have influenced the relationships between perceived fatherly affirmation and the other variables, a second partial correlational analysis was conducted, this time controlling for the effects of this variable. The data in Table 2, column 3, show that controlling for perception of fathers feelings towards mother reduced the correlation between perceived fatherly affirmation and comfort with ones sexuality from 0.43 to just over 0.31. DISCUSSION As expected, there was a positive relationship between perceived fatherly affirmation and self-esteem and a negative one between fatherly affirmation and fear of intimacy. In line with other research, notably that of Fields (1983), Forsman (1989), Owen (1983), Secunda (1992), and Sharpe (1994), it was found that the more affirmed women feel by their fathers the higher

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS

Page 6

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

their self-esteem. Naus and Theis (1994, 1995) obtained similar results for men. It was found as well, that perceived affirmation by the father goes along with feeling less fearful of intimate relationships. This outcome fits with the conclusions of Secundas (1992) interviews with women and with the studies on men by Naus and Theis (1994; 1995). In the present study, however, the relationship between perceived fatherly affirmation and fear of intimacy was upheld when the effect of self-esteem on the variables in question was partialled out. This was not the case in the earlier Naus and Theis (1994) study on men. The variable included here for exploratory purposesperceptions of fathers feelings toward and treatment of ones mothercorrelated with some of the other variables of the study, most notably with perceived fatherly affirmation and with fear of intimacy. However, partial correlational analysis revealed that the correlation with fear of intimacy was based entirely on the correlations between the variables involved and perceived fatherly affirmation. It may be that the high correlation between perceived fatherly affirmation and perceived feelings and treatment of the mother by the father is an artefact arising because the measure of fathers treatment of the mother was not sufficiently independent from the measure of fatherly affirmation. Perhaps a perception of ones father established through responding to the items of the Barrett-Lennard Relationship Inventory carried over in answers to the five questions which were added at the end of this instrument to gauge a respondents perception of her fathers feelings and treatment with respect to her mother. It was expected that there would be a relationship between perceived fatherly affirmation and a womans comfort with her sexuality. Given the provisional nature of the instrument used to measure construction of sexuality, the expectation lacked specificity. Nevertheless, we found a positive relationship between perceived fatherly affirmation and the most important factor resulting from a principal component analysis of the responses to this instrument. Comfort with ones sexuality seemed to be a fitting label for this factor. Our results suggest that feeling affirmed by ones father and feeling comfortable with ones sexuality go hand in hand. This suggestion is reminiscent of, though not identical with, Fishers (1989) finding that a womans perception of her fathers attentiveness to her during childhood is related to her ability to reach orgasm consistently. One of the questions on the sexuality questionnaire has a direct bearing on Fishers finding. Participants were asked to indicate their orgasm consistency in sexual interactions on a five-point scale, ranging from never to always. There was no significant correlation between answers to this question and perceived fatherly affirmation. Women who feel affirmed by their father were not more likely to indicate that they reached orgasm consistently in sexual interactions. Contrary to expectation, there was no relationship between perceived fatherly affirmation and comfort with ones womanhood. In fact, the two measures of this variable were not correlated with any of the other variables, with the exception that the indirect measure of comfort with ones womanhood had a small but statistically significant correlation with self-esteem (r=0.27). The fact that we found only a weak tendency for women who felt more comfortable with their womanhood to have higher self-esteem led us to question the reliability of this measure and to review the responses to it.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS

Page 7

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

Table 3
Most Frequently Mentioned Attributes Women Should Have Twenty Most Frequent Female Attributes Listed Independent Self-confident Strong (mentally/personality) Honest (sincere) Intelligent Sense of humour Caring High self-esteem Nice physical appearance Ambitious Compassionate Respect for oneself (and others) Friendly (warm, kind) Goal-oriented/career-oriented Determined Loving Proud Self-sufficient/self-reliant Understanding Sensitive Frequency of Response (n=54) 48.1% 40.7% 37.0% 29.6% 25.9% 24.1% 20.4% 20.4% 20.4% 20.4% 18.5% 18.5% 16.7% 16.7% 16.7% 16.7% 14.8% 14.8% 13.0% 13.0%

The indirect measure of comfort with ones womanhood required as a first step that a participant indicate which attributes she thought women should have. Three of the 57 participants did not answer this question; one refused because she felt that attributes should not be related to gender. Several other participants, though they did answer the question, made similar remarks. Some participants wrote long and thoughtful responses that were difficult to categorize in terms of specific attributes. The most frequently mentioned attributes are listed in Table 3. It is interesting that none of the five most frequently mentioned attributes independent, self-confident, strong (mentally, personality wise), honest or sincere, and intelligent is traditionally feminine. It would be interesting to know what the associations with self-esteem would have been had all respondents been asked to compare themselves with a researcher-specified list of characteristics drawn from Table 3 rather than with their own self-identified list. Until recently most of the literature on father-daughter relationships has focused on personal stories of women or on Freuds Electra complex. Much has been written on father-daughter incest and relatively little on normal father-daughter relationships. It is noteworthy that what
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 8

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

has been often described as a powerful relationship in a womans life has not been the subject of much scientific research. As Secunda (1992) observed, Fathers have the more profound impact on a womans sexual and romantic choices and relationships.... And yet, of all family ties, the father-daughter relationship is the least understood and least studied. While the results of the present study can not be generalized to women in general, they do underscore the need for further research on the impact of perceived fatherly affirmation on womens psychosexual development. Given the paucity of such research, it would be desirable to attempt to develop firm theoretical underpinnings for such investigations. Why is it that affirmation from their father is important to women? Are the reasons the same no matter whether the issue is a womans self-esteem, her comfort with her womanhood, her comfort with intimate relationships, or her comfort with sexuality? Are the speculations Naus and Theis (1992) offered for understanding the importance of fatherly affirmation to men useful in addressing these questions or are the dynamics at work in father-daughter relationships sufficiently different to those in father-son relationships to warrant different conceptualizations? What is different about affirmation from the father as compared with that from the mother? Is it really only because the affirmation from the father seems more earned, as suggested by Suzanne Fields (1983), who observed: A fathers love is often more qualified than a mothers. Where a mothers love is unconditional, a fathers love often is given as a reward for performance. Because her love is blind, a mother confirms a childs sense of security in a general way. When the father approves a child generally assumes that the love was earned (p. 11). Such questions about the role of fatherly affirmation in the psychosexual development of women (and men) go to the heart of many contemporary issues surrounding sexuality, gender, sexual relationships, and sexual satisfaction. Further research in this area is needed. References Barrett-Lennard, G. (1978). The 64-Item Relationship Inventory. Development and Adaptations. Unpublished manuscript. Cattell, H. (1982). Sex-roles and dyadic uniqueness in parent-child personality trait relationships. Multivariate Experimental Clinical Research, 6, 33-46. Descutner, C., & Thelen, M. (1991). Development and validation of a fear-of-intimacy scale. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 3, 218-225. Fields, S. (1983). Like Father, Like Daughter: How Father Shapes the Woman his Daughter Becomes. Boston-Toronto: Little, Brown and Company. Fisher, S. (1989). Sexual Images of the Self: The Psychology of Erotic Sensations and Illusions . New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Publishers.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS Page 9

THE CANADIAN JOURNAL OF HUMAN SEXUALITY, VOL. 8(1) SPRING 1999

Forsman, L. (1989). Parent-child gender interaction in the relation between retrospective selfreports on parental love and current self-esteem. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 30, 275-283. Hale, D., Fiedler, L., & Cochran, C. (1992). The revised generalized expectancy for success scale: A validity and reliability study. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 48,517-521. Lebe, D. (1986). Female ego ideal conflicts in adulthood. The American Journal of Psychoanalysis, 46, 22-32. Naus, P., & Theis, J. (1994). The relationship between fatherly affirmation and a mans self-esteem and fear of intimacy: A preliminary examination in two cultural contexts, Canada and The Netherlands. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 3, 333-338. Naus, P., & Theis, J. (1995). The significance of fatherly affirmation for a mans psychological well-being: A project update. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 4, 237-245. Owen, U. (1983). Fathers: Reflections by Daughters. London: Virago Press Limited. Richards, M., Gitelson, I., Petersen, C., & Hurtig, A. (1991). Adolescent personality in girls and boys: The role of mothers and fathers. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 15, 65-81. Rosenberg, M. (1989). Society and the Adolescent Self Image. Middleton, CT: Wesleyan University Press. Schulenberg, Vondracek, & Crouter (1984). The influence of the family on vocational development. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 46, 129-149. Secunda, V. (1992). Women and Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life. New York: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Sharpe, S. (1994). Fathers and Daughters. New Fetterlane, London: Routledge.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FATHERLY AFFIRMATION AND A WOMANS

Page 10