Stillpower
Stillpower
Stillpower
B OOKS
Hillsboro, Oregon
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STILLPOWER.COM
CONTENTS
FOREWORD by Zach Parise PREFACE INTRODUCTION 1: THE MISCONCEPTION: ATHLETICS TEACH LIFE LESSONS Performance Coaching: Whats Wrong with Current Thinking? Three Paths to ConsistencyYou Choose The Misalignment Between the Experiences of Athletes and the Strategies of Coaches 2: UNBOUNDED EFFORT, WILLPOWER, AND INSIGHT What Is the Zone? Finding that Magical Mind-Set The Grind of Willpower Insight versus Strength of Will The Zone and Willpower: A Final Thought 3: COACHING, WISDOM, AND SUCCESS Love and Coaching Developing True Team Players What About the Players Responsibilities? The Unknown Secret to Engaging Your Team Engagement, Determination, and Compulsion
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4: CLEAR THINKING, RESILIENCE, AND LIFE BEYOND THE SCOREBOARD What Lies Ahead if We Look Within Sports Psychology Control versus the Natural Flow of Thought Shadow Wrestling The Book Is Never Written The True Path to Learning from a Loss Clear Thinking: Essential for Success On and Off the Field 5: THE ULTIMATE COACHING DILEMMA: AN ATHLETES STATE OF MIND VERSUS BEHAVIOR Why Focusing on Behavior Guarantees Fallout The Principle of Consciousness and Tiger Woods The Ultimate Explanation for Any Type of Behavior Performance, State of Mind, and the UConn Women 6: THE NEUTRALITY OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD Life, Life Situations, and Freedom Goals, Rewards, and the Journey Routine and Potential Leaving School with Wisdom 7: SPORTS, JUDGMENT, AND LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT The Understanding of an Icon The Resilience to Move Forward The Fallacy of Bulletin-Board Material Judgment and What We Can Learn from the State of Mind of Two Great Players The Negative Effect of Judging
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8: MIND, BODY, AND PERFORMANCE The Only Way Out of Worry The ConnectionExplained Why Pain Will Never Lead to Gain The Overlooked Secret to Avoiding Injury 9: EVERY ATHLETES BIRTHRIGHT The Only Way to Decide Switch-Hitting The Ridiculously Simple Way to Help Athletes Uncover Insight The Issue with Visualization and Game Film 10: THE FREEDOM TO WIN The Discovery The Rock Game The Principles Your Journey, Your WaySo Long for Now EPILOGUE: THE ONLY ANSWER ACKNOWLEDGMENTS APPENDIX: YOUR GAME PLAN FOR THE FUTURE NOTES INDEX CONTACT INFORMATION
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B Y Z A C H PA R I S E
NHL ALL-STAR AND MEMBER OF THE U S O LY M P I C H O C K E Y T E A M
realized that I was being introduced to an entirely new, yet simple, approach to my performance as a professional athlete. More important, I immediately saw the connection between the thoughts in my head and how I was feeling in my life away from the game. Then, as I became more aware of the principles that Garret teaches, I began to notice a greater sense of calm in everything I did. This peacefulness didnt hit me right away, but day by day, as I learned more, it seemed to grow. Garret insists that this understanding, as he often calls it, has been inside me
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all along. While that may or may not be true, I know that my highs now happen more often, and when the lows do occur, they dont seem to last so long. Throughout my life as a hockey player, I have been introduced to a lot of mental approachesdifferent tools, techniques, and exercises. To be honest, none of them worked with any regularity. For example, I often wondered why visualizing success on the ice would work one day but not another. Why before one game I could quiet my nerves, but the next night my thoughts wouldnt settle. I now understand why this is the case. Garret helped me to see that my performance is dependent on my own thoughts and feelings, not on anything that is happening outside of me. So, come game time (or during any situation), I now realize I am capable of playing well or feeling good, no matter what is going on at home, in the dressing room, or in the arena. It is no accident that I have had the best two years of my career since I started working with Garret, and I feel fortunate to call him a friend. One word of advice as you read this book: Do not attempt to memorize the information. During my first meeting with Garret, I arrived with a notepad and pen. A friend who worked with Garret had told me about all the cool stuff we were going to talk about so I didnt want to miss a thing. Well, right off, Garret told me to put the pen
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down. He said I should draw my own conclusions and listen to the feeling of what he was saying, and to not think so much. That is what you should do as you read along here. You will see that Garret is consistent in what he says. He uses many examples and makes connections between them to reinforce the message in different ways. You wont even realize it, but before you know it, you will be applying his lessons to your own athletic career or to life in general. You will understand how your mind works and how successful and happy people steer easily through their lives. I believe the principles introduced in this book are the future of athletic mental performanceactually, performance of any kind. Garret helped me to recognize that in grinding so hard, I was reducing my chances to perform up to my capabilities. Now I see why the game wasnt always as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. Today, my effort is present like before, but for some reason it rarely feels like work, and I am simply more successful in everything that I do. In Stillpower, Garret offers hope for discovering our potential to perform freely, regardless of the circumstances of our lives. I hope, like me, you find this perspective to be extremely valuable.
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INTRODUCTION
Stillpower: The clarity of mind to live with freedom and ease; the inner source of excellence; the opposite of willpower. Garret Kramer
coaching and consulting companyInner Sportsto discover the psychological strategies necessary to improve individual or team performance. Usually these individuals want to feel better and play more proficiently. Often they seek the answers to success, but always they are surprised by what I teach.
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a fix, his or her confidence, energy, and attitude will only get worse. Yet, far removed from this standard approach, what you can learn at Inner Sports, and from this book, too, is how every person shapes his or her experience: Ones state of mind will determine his or her outlook. Then, once learned, this understanding will lead you straight to your inner source of excellencesomething I call stillpower. Stillpower is pain free, yet so dynamic it has the potential to change your lifeboth on and off the playing field. It revolves around a deep faith in your inner wisdom and innate resilience; in trusting that all sentiments are temporary since they originate from your own thoughts and moods. Stillpower comes from knowing that self-worth has nothing to do with winning, losing, parent approval, money, fame, or anything external to you. To put it simply, I believe that the finest competitors in every sport play with stillpowernot willpower. To them, trying hard and giving their best effort are not the same thing. These athletes feel a sense of cooperation withand respect fortheir teammates, coaches, and even opponents, thus mental clarity is their norm. Men and women with stillpower excel in many fields and develop into our most prolific leaders. They naturally
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gravitate to their passions, rarely feel fatigued, and intuitively know what not to do if they happen to drift off course.
Like many coaches, I grew up in a world where being an athlete was as natural as breathing. I was an all-state ice hockey player in high school and had a successful college career. In my early twenties, I took up the game of golf and was fortunate enough to qualify for four USGA championships. To be honest, I was never the fastest or most talented player on the ice or in the tournament. But I loved the competition that these sports provided, especially the journey surrounding the contests. It was during the process of training, practicing, and interacting with teammates where I uncovered a state of mind that allowed me to find success, no matter what circumstances I faced. This concept is at the heart of this book. I also learned early in my life that I enjoyed coaching, whether as a counselor at Camp Kenwood in Wilmot,
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New Hampshire, or running hockey clinics at Ice World, the skating rink my father owned and operated in Totowa, New Jersey. When coaching, practicing, or playing, I often felt that I was truly in the zone, although I didnt call it that. In fact, I didnt give it a name at all. I just knew I felt free when engaged in athletics, and that freedom felt rightit still does.
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me into the business world and, ultimately, to the field of residential construction. I worked hard and did well, although truthfully, working in construction never felt quite right, not like the comfort-zone days of playing, mentoring, and coaching. As a result, errant thoughts, feelings, and, at times, decisions became all too common. Along the way, I did make a smart choice: I married the love of my life, and we now have three active teenagers who keep us running. What kept me in the game (and sane) during these detour years, literally and figuratively, was the joy I found in coaching my kids sports teams. Later, I welcomed the opportunity to coach high school athletes. In that arena, I found a level of wellbeing where clarity and perspective ruled, no matter what apparent issues occurred. What does a high level of well-being produce? Productive decisions and behaviors, successful teams with eager players, and the ability to see, in the moment, the big picture of life and impart this wisdom to players you care about. So, what was missing? First, I knew in a nagging kind of way that I wasnt pursuing my career dream, an instinct that flowed out of a natural aptitude for coaching and the sensations it gave back to me. Second, I was intensely curious about the source of the inner peace I found when working with players. I wondered, Is it
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actually the process of coaching or an understanding inside of me that conjures up clarity at certain times? About fifteen years ago, this wonder prompted a journey that led me to the consulting offices of Pransky & Associates in La Conner, Washington. There, I met George Pransky and Keith Blevens, and later Aaron Turner, Nikki Nieves, and Mara Gleason. I learned about the work of Sydney Banks, which revolves around the innate principles of mind, consciousness, and thought as well as their function in determining how life is truly experienced. In turn, my understanding of these principles led me to create Inner Sports and later to write this book. Now, when the conversation turns to principles such as mind, consciousness, and thought, some people scratch their heads and flash me a puzzled look. Isnt that the complicated stuff of scholars, philosophers, or Zen masters? The answer is no. Because our experience and the quality of our livesnot just day to day, but moment to momentdepend entirely on our level of consciousness. It might sound intricate, but in reality, its revolutionarily simple. Our state of consciousness determines if our view of the outside world is cloudy or clear, and over the years this profound principle has been described in many differ-
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ent ways. State of mind, mood, well-being, awareness, and level of psychological functioning are the words and phrases that I often interchange. Actually, the principle of consciousness is not such a mystery. Our thoughts and senses tell us all we need to know about it. In terms of sports, its how we feel during a game were playing, coaching, or watching; the way we respond to what looks like a mistake or an achievement; or the way we define a loss or a win. How do thought and the inner world of mind and consciousness influence playing, coaching, or even parenting an athlete? Everyone can point to situations where fear got in the way of shooting a free throw, anxious thoughts led to a fumbled ball, or reacting in the moment contributed to a poor coaching or parenting decision. As coaches or parents, isnt it our job to teach something to counter these bad outcomes? Arent we supposed to train players to come through in the clutch or focus on the trophy at the end of the season? Isnt there something here to make right? The answer again is no. Although many talk about the mental side of sports, that phrase includes a myriad of interpretations and, unfortunately, often has little to do with mind, consciousness, and thought. These principles have hardly made their
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way into the athletic coaching arena at all. In fact, many coaches dutifully follow the path of conventional thinking, attacking the so-called mental game by revving up the brains and bodies of their players. They are advocates for the adrenaline-spiking pep talk used for generations and believed to be the answer to preparing for a competition. Some coaches, especially those in individual sports like tennis, golf, or gymnastics, even combine this revved-up chatter with a host of relaxation tools. Perhaps theyve been taught that theres value in trying to visualize the flight of the ball or in picturing a gold medal. In this book, I reveal the truth: Revving up a player serves to bind performance rather than enhance it. It always leads to errant decisions and, thus, results in missed opportunities and poor performances. By the same token, calming techniques like deep breathing often turn into a pass-fail test of how relaxed the athlete can become, and for what purpose? The truth is, sometimes we succeed when employing deep-breathing techniques, and sometimes we dont. By using these preparation tools to pump themselves up or calm themselves down, coaches and athletes learn to rely on external factors to regulate their internal thoughts and feelings. They begin to believe that their performance, a win or a loss, is dependent on how
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revved up or relaxed they can be. What happens, then, if circumstances change and the team has to take to the ice, the field, or the court without the pep talk? What happens if our level of well-being in the moment prevents the visualization? What happens to players who believe there is some tool or system to master and they havent found it yet? Regrettably, a mentality exists within athletics (and many other fields) that leads players and coaches to embark on a search for a technique or a theoretical model, or even illicit behavior, that will unearth the secret to success. Yes, improving skills through training and practice is fundamental for achievement. Beyond that, however, no external mental tool, system, or model actually exists that will help you find long-term success or personal contentment. To the contrary, once you understand that as human beings we form our perceptions from the inside out, that the quality of our thinking and level of awareness move up and down independent of our circumstances, you will see that it makes little sense to work yourself through a temporarily low state of mind. You will also see that, left alone, the human mind will instinctively self-correct to clarity and consciousness.
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The following chapters contain numerous examples of this new and revolutionarily simple paradigm. This book will show you why the sports world has lost its way and how stillpower, and not willpower, can get anyone back on track. As you read, consider your own successes and failures, your own dreams and fears; notice that effort, achievement, and life arent supposed to be so complicated. Stillpower is designed to point you in a different direction than just about every other psychology or performance book on the market today. It is not meant to dictate behavior. This books purpose is to allow your own insights and freedom to flourish. You are about to discover that there is a different approach available in sportsand in life. Therefore, I am inviting you to approach this book differently. For the time being, put aside all the how-to methodologies of the self-help worldwhat you have been taught about competitive states of mind, hard work, and the true path to winning performances, titles, or medals. This is your chance to expand your level of understanding and see that beyond the intellect, theres nothing you must learn, or even do, in order to get the most out of coaching, training, or playing the game. For the truth is this: You already know.
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