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Terence McKenna OMNI Interview

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nn y life is like a James Joyce scratch pad," declares Terence McKenna.

"I have a lot of fun, a kind of reverse paranoia. I think reality is a plot for my own amusement and advancementwhich it seems to be. It's absolutely eerie." Ethnobotanist, radical historian, and co-steward of a botanical garden in Hawaii where he collects endangered plant species and their lore, McKenna is, as well, a world-class psychedelic researcher. In the Sixties, it was not uncommon for friends or colleagues to leave for awhile, then return. These travelers, however, had not made round trips to such identifiable exotic stops as Tibet or China, or even Mexico. Rather, they had tripped on acid or mushrooms: new territory. Upon reentry they would be asked the usual questions one asks a traveler: "What did you see? Who did you meet? How long were you gone?" And they'd show their slides, as it were. In those years, taking psychedelic drugs was viewed as self-experimentation. One's goal was informationalto learn and explore. And taking drugs carried an unstated mandate: It was incumbent upon you to contribute to the unofficial databank report the efficacy of various doses, the effect of varying settings, elapsed duration, potential uses, and so forth. It was not uncommon to ask, "Why did you take it?"truly a statement of inquiry. Terence McKenna comes from this tradition. Born in 1946 in western Colorado, McKenna moved to Los Altos,

EVERYBODY, LET'S GET STONED. A WORLDCLASS MUSHROOM EATER AND VISIONARY SAYS THAT HUMAN EVOLUTION ADVANCES VIA ORGIASTIC PSYCHEDELIC EXPERIENCE. PHOTOGRAPHS BY TOM ZIMBEROFF

California, when he was in high school. He graduated from the Unive-rsity of California at Berkeley with a major in shamanism and the conservation of natural resources. Collecting Asian art in the East, for years he also made his living as a professional butterfly collector. In his 1992 book Food of the Gods, McKenna delineates a radical history of drugs and human evolution, chronicling our descent from "stoned apes" and extolling the virtues of psilocybin mushrooms and DMT (dimethyltryptamine), a potent psychedelic compound. Eve achieves top billing in our collective history as "the mistress of magical plants." Heralded by some as the "New Scientist," McKenna admits that "defenders of orthodox science find me a pain." When he was younger, this so bothered him that he sought the counsel of Gunther Stent, the pioneering Swedish genetic biochemist. McKenna sat in front of his hero and earnestly laid out his research, theories, and ideas of science. "What I am interested to know is," McKenna concluded, "are these ideas fallacious?" Rising from behind his desk, Stent crossed the room, placed his hands on McKenna's shoulders, and delivered the following: "My dear young friend, they aren't even fallacious!" Although crushed and shattered by the encounter, McKenna persevered to become a high-voltage speaker, storehouse of remarkable information, and prolific writer of worldwide repute. Before this interview, McKenna offered friend and interrogator Sukie Mil69

THEN SOMETHING CATCHES MY ATTENTION. A DMT HALLUCINATION IS POURING OUT OF THE AIR, INTO THIS HOUSE, AND INTO THE ROOM! THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING! THIS IS NOT PERMITTEID!
ler the following tip: "Being able to through the teapotcame rushing in. pun, sing, or riddle will usually get you I go to find my mother to show her. through fairy checkpoints. To deal with Then, of course, it's not there. real fairies is to enter a realm of ridOmni: And now? Toward what end is dles and puzzle settings where what your research directed? they punish is stupidity and what McKenna: I can't stomach the human they love is intellectual cleverness." tragedy of somebody going to the (Editor's note: Sukie Miller, Ph.D., is a grave ignorant of what is possible. I practicing psychotherapist in New make the analogy to sex. Few people York City a former director of Esalen, can avoid some kind of experience and the Director of the Death and Dywith sexsex informs the experience ing II Project.) of humanness; sex is a great joy and Omni: You've been called a prophet, travail. I don't like to think about somemadman, the most important visionary one going to the grave without ever scholar in America, a bard of our having contacted it. This work is that LIFE COMPASS: psychedelic birthright, and more. How big. It's ours. It makes available an en"To bring people to the potendid you grow up? Was there sometire domain of being that somehow got tial and accessibility thing in the water at your house? lost, to our detriment. of a huge, unsuspecting dimenMcKenna: I was born in a Colorado catOmni: What is DMT's effect? sion of authentic extle and coal-mining town of 1,500 peoMcKenna: My best guess is that it meperience that is of ourselves," diates attention so that when you ple called Paonia. They wanted to hear a noise coming from someplace name it Peony but didn't know how to RECENTLY WRITTEN: within your peripheral vision, you turn spell it. In your last year of high Food for the Gods: The and focus on what the noise might be. school, you got your girlfriend pregSearch for the Original Tree of Somehow this very rapid focusing of nant, married her, and went to work Knowledge: A Radical mental functioning is driven by DMT. in the coal mines. An intellectual was History of Plants, Drugs, and HuIt is also a Schedule I drug. So techsomeone who read Time. My mother man Evolution (Bantam) nically, we are all bustible all the went to secretarial school and had a time! The paradox is that DMT is the very large vocabulary. She was aware CAUSE OF safest and quickest hallucinogen to of classical music and writing and was HUMAN WOES: leave your systemsafest, that is, in my grandfather's favorite daughter. The ego, "a maladaptive terms of any accumulated detriment His mtier was language. He frebehavioral complex to the organism. quently used the phrase "the fustilerithat gets going like a tumor." Omni: Food of the Gods relates DMT an fizgigs from Zimmerman!" I reconto psilocybin. What's the connection? structed it. It means "a shrewish fishWHO SHOULD TAKE McKenna: Psilocybin and DMT are wife from a town named Zimmerman." DRUGS? chemically near relatives. My book is Whenever he got excited, he'd yell, "Not everybody. Those should about the history of drugs; it tries to ''Great God!' said the woodcock be free to pursue show drugs' cultural and personalitywhen the hawk struck him." A nut, a the drug whose interest or reshaping impact. People have attemptpoet is what he was. search leads them edunsuccessfullyto answer the Omni: How early in your life were you there. They should not have to question of how our minds and coninto altered states? genuflect to a McKenna: Until I was three, we lived sciousness evolved from the ape. Calvinist government." in my grandfather's house. I've had They've tried all kinds of things to acregression-hallucinations where I see count for this evolution, but to my myself in my child body playing with my trains alone in mind, the key unlocking this great mystery is the presthat living room. Then something catches my attention ence of psychoactive plants in the diet of early man. and I turn and look: A DMT hallucination is pouring out Omni: What led you to this startling conclusion? of the air, into this house, into the room. This is not supMcKenna: Orthodox evolutionary theory tells us that posed to be happening. This is not permitted! It was as small adaptive advantages eventually become genetiif an invisible teapot were beginning to pour some heavy, cally scripted into a species. The species builds upon colored liquid swimming with objects and shapes, a flowthis minute change to furtherits adaptive advantage unering geometry. It was as if reality got broken, like a wintil ultimately it outbreeds all of its competitors for a pardow could get broken, and the outsidepoured ticular niche or environment.
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Omni: So prehistoric humans didn't possess the notion of ego got a leg up on the apes by as we've allowed it to crystallize WHAT IS DM? ingesting a drug? in Western societies. The reaDimethyltryptarnine is chemically related to the McKenna: Yes. Lab work son for this lack of ego was a LSD, psilocybin class of hallucinogenic drugs. It shows that psilocybin eaten in social style of mushroom taking is a serotonin agonist; that is, it mimics the neuroamounts so small that it can't be and an orgiastic sexual style transmitter serotonin, but interferes with its normal detected, as an experience, inthat was probably lunar in its action. This class of drugs enhances the brain's creases visual acuity. In the Sixtiming. Nobody went more than sensitivity to many kinds of incoming information. ties, Roland Fisher at the Nationthree or four weeks before they As an agonist, DMT locks into receptors of neual Institute of Mental Health were redissolved into pure feelrons usually available to serotonin and competes gave graduate students psiloing and boundary dissolution. withoften "winning out" overserotonin at the cybin and then a battery of eye Community, loyalty, altruism, receptor site. To find out more about DMT's mechantests. His results indicated that self-sacrificeall these values consulted leading neurobiologist ism of action, we edges were visually detected that we take to be the basis of and serotonin investigator, Dr. George Aghajanmore readily if a bit of psilocybin humannessarose at that time ian of the Yale University School of Medicine. was present in the student's in a situation in which the ego Aghajanian: I'm finding that except for the fact body. VVell, edge detection is exwas absent. that it has a very short duration of action-30 to actly what hunting animals in Omni: If this was all so wonder45 minutesDMT has the same effects on varithe grassland environments use ful, why did it end? ous receptors, particularly the serotonin-2 (5to observe distant prey! So McKenna: The most elegant HT2) receptor, as the other hallucinogensLSD here you have this chemical facexplanation is that the very or mescalinethat can have effects for up to tor; when added to the diet, it force that created the original eight hours. results in greater success in huntbreakthrough swept away its Omni: Is 5-HT2 a postsynaptic receptor? ing. That, in turn, results in greatconditions. The climatological Aghajanian: Yes. DlviT also works on a presynaper success in child rearing and drying of Africa forced us out of tic receptor, but that is not the action responso increases the size of the the forest canopy, onto the grasssible for its hallucinogenic effects. next generation. lands, and into bipedalism and Omni: Since DIAT binds at these receptors, As we descended from the omnivorous diets. We lived in does that mean it is found naturally in the brain? trees and into the grasslands, bethat paradisaical grasslands sitAghajanian: Enzymes able to synthesize DMT exgan to experiment with bipedal uation, but the climate was slowist in certain tissues, such as in the lungs-.. But gait and omnivorous diet, we enly getting drier. Mushrooms bethere's no evidence that 'more than a tra'6 ' countered mushrooms. At low gan to be less available. There exists in the body, not enough to have any DMT doses, they increase visual acucould've been many strategies pharmacological effect. ity; at midrange, they cause genfor obtaining mushrooms, all Omni: What's the difference between DMT and eral central-nervous-system detrimental. The first would be LSD, psilocybin, and so forth? arousal, which in a highly to do it only at great holidays, Aghajanian: All the other psychedelic hallucinsexed primate means a lot of and only a certain class of peoogens I've looked at in tissuebrain slices horsing around, which means pleshamans, for example. have a remarkable prolonged effect. So it's inthere is more pregnancy among Eventually the mushroom onteresting that in the same preparation, DMT has females associated with psiloly existed around water holes in a short-lived effect corresponding to its brief accybin-using behavior. Higher the rain shadows of certain tion clinically. dosages of psilocybin leads to mountains; finally, the mushOmni: Why do the other psychedelics have more room was gone. At that mogroup sexuality and dissolved prolonged effects? ment, under great pressure boundaries between individuAghajanian: I think the other hallucinogens are from the drying climate, agriculals. The ego dissolves and you taken up in lipid [fat] compartments of the ture was invented. Agriculture experience boundary ecstasy. brain, cell membranes, and elsewhere and that represents an intellectual underWe can assume that as the levthe drug is released slowly from these compartstanding of how cause and efel of ingestion became high ments. The persistence of effects depends on fect can be separated in time. enough, egoless states were the continued presence of the drug. DMT is not You return to last year's camp, quite common. very lipid soluble, so its not stored in the lipid look where you discarded the The way I analyze the modcompartments and thus washes out rapidly. trash, and there all in one ern predicamentpollution, place are the food plants you so male dominance, there are a milcarefully gathered. Women, the gatherers, put this together: lion ways to say itthe overriding problems are brought on Wow! Bury food, come back a year later, and it's there. This ) by the existence of the ego, a maladaptive behavioral complex in the psyche that gets going like a tumor. If it's not was a watershed in the development of abstract thought. At the same time, men were understanding that the sex treatedif there's not pharmacological interventionit beact, previously associated with this group orgiastic stuff, was comes the dominant constellation of the personality. the equivalent of burying food and coming back a year latOmni: How did all this play out? er! Male paternity is recognized as a phenomenon. The McKenna: From 75,000 to about 15,000 years ago, there was a kind of human paradise on Earth. People danced, sang, road to hell is pavedeight lanes!from that point on. The had pootr , .A.as, riddles, intrigue, and weapons, but they man thinks mymy children, not our childrenand there72 OMNi ,

meaning; meaning is something heard or felt. In this world, syntax is something you see. There, the boundless meanings of language cause it to overflow the normal audio channels and enter the visual channels. They come bouncing, hopping toward you, and then it's likeall this is metaphor; they don't have armsit's as though they reach into their intestines and offer you something. They offer you an object so beautiful, so intricately wrought, so something else that cannot be said in English, that just gazing on this thing, you realize such an object is impossible. The best comparison is Faberge eggs. The object generates other objects, and it's all happening in a scene of wild merriment and confusion. Ordinarily language creates a system of conventional meanings based on pathways determined by experience. DMT drops you into a place where the stress is on a transcending language. Language is a tool for communicating, but it fails at its own game because it's context-dependent. Everything is a system of referential metaphors. We say, The skyline of New York is like the Himalayas, the Himalayas are like the stock market's recent performance, and that's like my moods"a set of interlocking metaphors.

We have either foreground or background, either object or being. If something doesn't fall into these categories, we go into a kind of loop of cognitive dissonance. If you get something from outside the metaphorical system, it doesn't compute. That's why we need astonishment. Astonishment is the reaction of the body to the ineffectiveness of its descriptive machinery. You project your description, and it keeps coming back. Rejected. Astonishment breaks the loop. Omni: What other experiences can you liken to the DMT trip? McKenna: The archetype of DMT is the three-ring circus. The circus is all bright lights, ladies in spangled costumes, and wild animals. But right underneath, it's some fairly dark expression of Eros and freaks and unrootedness and mystery. DMT is the quintessence of that archetype. The drug is trying to tell us the true nature of the game: Reality is a theatrical illusion. So you want to find your way to the impresario who produces this and then discuss his next picture with him. Omni: So the circus is really just a doorway. How does it end? McKenna: This crazy stuff goes on for 90 seconds; then you fall away from it. They bid you farewell, In one case

they said to me: 'Dj vu, dj vu!" Omni: You've devoted a good part of your life to mapping the DMT and psilocybin terrain. How would you interpret all of it? McKenna: These drugs can dissolve in a single lightning stroke all our provisional programming. The drugs carry you back to the truth of the organism that language, conditioning, and behavior are entirely designed to mask. Once on the substance, you are reborn outside the envelope of culture and of language. You literally come naked into this new domain. Omni: What do you say to doubters? McKenna: DMT is utterly defeating of the drug phobia. We could get rid of all drugs but DMT and psilocybin and have thrown out nothing. The fact that DMT is so brief and intense makes it look as if it's designed for doubters. Someone will say, "I can't risk five hours on a drug. It's nuts." The unspoken thing they're saying is, "My career, my life, will be ruined, so keep it away from me." But if you say to these people, "Look, you're making these statements about drugs. Can you invest ten minutes? . . ." DMT is inhaled. The entire trip lasts that long with no after-feelings. They, fools that they are, with a naive version
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fore, animals I kill are food for my women and my children. Women are seen as property. The ego is rampant and in full force. Omni: How does data on psilocybin support your theory? McKenna: Well, here's the problem: Psilocybin, discovered in 1953, not chemically characterized until 1957, became illegal in 1966. The window of opportunity to study this drug in humans was only nine years. People working with psilocybin never dreamed they'd be forbidden by law to work in this area. When LSD was first released into the psychotherapeutic community, it swept through with the same impact that the news of the splitting of the atom touched the physics community. People thought, "Ah-ha! Now we're going to understand mental illness, trauma, and obsession, this being only the first of a family of drugs that will lead to an operational understanding of the genesis and curing of neuroses!" When the scientific establishment was informed that there would be no government-grant support for psychedelic research, they just bowed their fuzzy heads and went along with it. The consequences of their failure to stand up to that decision is a mangled society and a science that hasn't fulfilled it's agenda. In no other instance has science laid down so gutlessly and allowed the state to tell it how to do its business. I'm not trying to make a revolution in primate archaeology or theories of human emergence. My scenario, if true, has enormous implications. For 10,000 years, with the language and social skills of angels, we've pursued an agenda of beasts and demons. Human beings created an altruistic communal society; then, by withdrawing the psilocybin or having it become unavailable, we've had nothing to fall back upon except old primate behaviors, all toothand-claw dominance. Omni: You're giving an enormous amount of power to a drug. What can you tell me about psilocybin? McKenna: We don't know what DMT means. It's like Columbus sighting land, and somebody says, "So you saw land; is that a big deal?" And Columbus says, "You don't understand; it is the New World." For the last 500 years, Western culture has suppressed the idea of disembodied intelligencesof the presence and reality of spirit. Thirty seconds into the DMT flash, and that's a dead issue. The drug shows us that culture is an artifact. You can be a New York psychotherapist or a Yoruba shaman, but these are just provisional realities you're

committed to out of conventional or local customs. Omni: Well, it gives one something to do, Terence. McKenna: Yes, but most people think it's what's happening. Psilocybin shows you everything you know is wrong. The world is not a single, one-dimensional, forward-moving, causal, connected thing, but some kind of interdimensional nexus. Omni: If everything I know is wrong, then what? McKenna: You have to reconstruct. It's immediately a tremendous permission for the imagination. I don't have to follow Sartre, Jesus, or anybody else. Everything melts away, and you say, "It's just me, my mind, and Mother Nature." This drug shows us that what's waiting on the other side is a terrifyingly real selfconsistent modality, a world that stays constant every time you visit it. Omni: What is waiting? Who? McKenna: You burst into a space. Somehow, you can tell it's underground or an immense weight is above it. There's a feeling of enclosure, yet the space itself is open, warm, comfortable, upholstered in some very sensual material. Entities there are completely formed. There's no ambiguity about the fact that these entities are there. Omni: What are they like, Terence? McKenna: Trying to describe them isn't easy. On one level I call them selftransforming machine elves: half machine, half elf. They are also like selfdribbling jeweled basketballs, about half that volume, and they move very quickly and change. And they are, somehow, awaiting. When you burst into this space, there's a cheer! Pink Floyd has a song, "The Gnomes Have Learned a New Way to Say Hooray." Then they come forward and tell you, "Do not give way to amazement. Do not abandon yourself." You're amazingly astonished. The most conservative explanation for these elves, since these things are speaking English and are intelligent, is that they're some kind of human beings. They're obviously netlike you and me, so they're either the prenatal or postmortal phase of human existence, or maybe both, if you follow Indian thinking. You're saying, "Heart beat? Normal. Pulse? Normal." But your mind is saying, "No, no. I must be dead. It's too radical, too fucking radical. It's not the drug; drugs don't do stuff like this." Meanwhile, what you're seeing is not going away. Omni: What are these elves, these creatures about? McKenna: They are teaching something. Theirs is a higher dimensional language that condenses as a visible syntax. For us, syntax is the structure of

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In the strong morning sunlight it was had been so inky black. "What the fuck are you doing, Brajust barely possible to not think of her consciously. But somewhere inside, his vo? There's no pulse in that arm." He looked down in horror and saw mind kept going over the details; the that he had been posing a limp arm cop inside him wouldn't quit. It was his day off. After a few hours adjusting the dead to make a better spent futilely trying to sleep, he went in- picture. He backed off and drew the camera to the lab, fished out the negatives of the Arbus suicide, and studied them on defensively to his eye, aiming it at the the lightboard. The hair looked similar mother's splattered skull. For the first to what he'd seen in the flashlight time he noticed that she was black. The beaman odd shiny gray, cropped children were black as well. So was the short. The skin was the same shade of Doberman. All black. silvery black that no negro's skin had Lowering the camera, he saw five ever been. But that didn't mean it was white negatives watching him. her. The face might have proved someWhat did she do to me? he wondered. thing, but he was spared the sight of "Bravo? What is it?" her piercing white pupils staring out of He didn't answer the other cops. He his negatives because she'd slid face knew he wouldn't ever be able to andown in the tub. Still, when he looked at swer their questions. He forced his way the spiky hair, he felt a chill he hoped to the window and showed his camera wasn't wholly based on recognition. to the watchers outside, let them witThe next few days passed with ex- ness him opening the back and exposcruciating slowness as he waited for the ing the film. He yanked out a yard of it, sense of shock to move through his sys- unspooling the celluloid, letting it go ribtem and into the past so he could get boning into the night with all the latent on with a life of ordinary things. He had images burned out, never to be seen, time off coming to him, and he took it. sparing them his camera's bite of imHe went to the Catskills with an Insta- mortality. matic camera and took color snaps of As the woman in the graves had waterfalls and old bridges and empty done, they shrank away to nothing. inner tubes bobbing down the Esopus Five new stars burned briefly in the River. He didn't take any pictures of night, a bit too low to top the horizon, people. He met a woman in a restau- then blinked out. rant bar who spent the night at his cab"Brovnik, what the fuck is wrong?" in; in the morning she was gone but he Heavy steps came toward him. felt reassured because she had van"I have to get out," he said, stepping ished in the usual way, while his eyes through the window. Questioning cries were closed. When he got back to the followed him all -the way down the fire city after a week, he thought he'd put escape to the street, where he walked it all behind him; he thought he was away quickly from the lights of the refreshed. squad cars, his camera tugging like a His first night back on duty, a man bloodhound on the trail of everything shot his wife through the temples, cut that had ever eluded him. 00 the throats of his two-, three-, and four year-olds, strangled the family DoberCredits man (not necessarily in that order), and Cover: Tsuneo Sanda; page 4, top: Paul Lowe/ Network Matrix; page 4, bottom left: Tom Zimsentenced himself to life as a vegetaberoff; page 4, middle: Joel Peter Johnson; ble by badly misjudging the trajectory page 4, bottom right: Culver Pictures; page 8: Smithsonian Press; page 12: Rob Day; page 14: of his final bullet. The photography Gamma Liaison; pages 22 and 24: Steve Banposed a number of techn i ;al .problerns, danes/Jersey Devil; page 27: Paul Lee; page 28: Sinclair Stammers/Science Photo Library; page for Brovnik, due to the cr_ ,-nped condi29, top: Focus on Sports; page 29, bottom: Day tions, but he was worki g (ham oUt. 4-1 Williams/Photo Researchers; page 30, top: Veronika Teuber; page 30, bottom: David Scharf/ a cool professional wa4flien hatapPeter Arnold; pages 38 and 39: NASA Science pened to look through thy ope* r.indow Source; page 39, inset: Culver Pictures, Inc.; pagonto the dark fire esr.Abe am savi the es 42-45: illustrations by Simon Atkinson; pages 52-56: illustrations by Brian Franczak; page four of them standing Were. F ie i you 54: Don Lessem; pages 64-66: Somalia's Cry: counted the dog. A tall !:liv try v. it wnmA LIFE Exhibition of Photographs; page 64, left: Chris Steele-Perkins/Magnum; page 64, top an, three little ones, and foLr-leggeci right: Paul Lowe/Network Matrix; page 64, midmass of silver mist. Silv< y white, with dle: Christopher Morris/Black Star; page 64, bottom right: Chris Steele-Perkins/Magnum; page sharp white pupils, all looking at him as 65, top left: Andrew Hobrooke/Black Star; page if he owed them somethm ) 't 65, bottom left and right, and middle: Paul Lowe/ make sense to him at first Ord Network Matrix; page 65, top right: Christopher Morris/Black Star; page 66, left and bottom how his mind worked, hooked or le right: Eric Bouvet/Network Matrix; page 66, top bits of logic he hoped , -- . 1ht h. r t m right: Paul Lowe/Network Matrix; page 79: Julian Baum/Science Photo Library; page 80: Movunderstand the larc chlei .1.,Jast ie Still Archive; page 81: Gary S. Chapman/ they should all be siivecy wr **r., , when Image Bank; page 94: Stanislaw Fernandes. the shrinking woman in the cemetery
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of linear time, think, "Well, ten minutes. How bad can that be?" Then you have them. If they won't join after that, they'll at least shut up. Omni: Do you think there is such a thing as a bad trip? McKenna: A trip that causes you to learn faster than you want is what most people call a bad trip. Most people try to hold back on the learning inherent in drugs. But sometimes the drug releases the information and says, "Here's what you need to know." The information may be, "You treat people wrong!" and nobody wants to hear that or, "You need a divorce!" and that can be scary or, "You have some habits you need to think seriously about," and who wants to do that? Omni: How can you advocate drugs so strongly when such pain, disruption, and chaos may be associated with taking them? McKenna: We should talk about the word ecstasy In our world, ruled by Madison Avenue, ecstasy has come to mean the way you feel when you buy a Mercedes and can afford it. This is not the real meaning. Ecstasy is a complex emotion containing elements of joy, fear, terror, triumph, surrender, and empathy. What has replaced our prehistoric understanding of this complex of ecstasy now is the word comfort, a tremendously bloodless notion. Drugs are not comfortable, and anyone who thinks they are comfortable or even escapist should not toy with drugs unless they're willing to get their noses rubbed in their own stuff. Omni: What people specifically should not take them? McKenna: People who are mentally unstable, under enormous pressure, or operating equipment that the lives of hundreds of people depend on. Or the fragile ones among usthose to whom you wouldn't give a weekend airline ticket to Paris, those you wouldn't expect to guide you out of the Yukon. Some people have been so damaged by life that boundary dissolution is not helpful to them. These people are trying to maintain boundaries, their functionality. They should be honored and supported and not encouraged to take drugs. If because of genetic or cultural or psychological factors it's not for you, then We're not asking everybody to feel that they must take drugs, but rather, just as a woman should be free to control her body, for heaven's sake, a person should also be free to control his
it's not for you.

ARBUS
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stone surface and stole away the envelope holding his prints. She slid them into her hand and made a frantic gesture for his flashlight. She turned away from him, crouched over and laid the prints on the ground. Shielding the light with her body, she switched it on. He heard her gasp, then further sounds of pleasure. He tried to make out details he might use later to recognize her under other circumstances, but her silhouette was as empty as a doorway into a starless sky, with only little wisps of reflected light peeking through her spiky hair like bursts of solar flares. He grew impatient listening to her. She sounded like a starving animal wolfing down a huge meal. "All right," he said finally, "you've seen enough." As he stepped toward her, she shut off the light and jumped back. The prints lay on the ground between them like a dozen stray windows into a glossier world. He had the feeling that if he stepped on one he might fall into itfall into that bathtub full of radiant blood. He could almost see the glare of the flash shining from the timefrozen surface. Even in black and white, it had a reddish tint. "Come on, you said a trade. Let's have your dozen." She didn't move. He could tell she was measuring him, reading his character in a way he'd never experienced before, eating him up with the dark sunken pits in her face. He made a grab for his flashlight, wanting superstitiously to shine a beam into those hollows and fill them in with eyes. She backed away, being small enough that an edge of crypt shadow neatly swallowed half of her. Another stupid move and the rest would disappear. Without the light he felt more helpless than if she'd taken his gun. He held his ground, stooping to gather his prints. "I showed you mine," he said, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. "You're the one who talked about trust." "Mine didn't come out," she said. "What do you mean?" "I mean the roll was fogged, all twelve negs burned black, pure white prints. Nothing on them. I thought I could bring them with me, but it didn't work." "Wait a minute. You telling me there's no trade?" Now he was pissed, and ready to make a grab at her. She was little, she could elude him. He'd have to be fast. "Well fuck if I'm giving you my prints."

"I saw them, that's enough. They came out good. You're a fine photographer. I can tell how much work you put into them. And I . . . appreciate that." That was it for Brovnik. Her whole story of being an accomplice, nothing but a lie to get a look at private records. This was suddenly more than personal; he would make it official, too. He hurled the prints at her. They curled off in twelve different arcs, like a blossom opening around him as he leapt to cut her off. She gasped, spinning away, and found herself trapped in a corner where a tall family mausoleum backed up against the brick of the surrounding buildings, below a high row of broken windows. Nowhere for her to go. He stooped for the flashlight, which she'd dropped. "All right, lady," he said, and switched it on. The light caught her for a glancing instant, and that was all it tookall he got for his pains and for his memories. He saw that her skin was shimmery black, her short-cropped hair silvery gray, and the very centers of her eyes, brilliant white. Then she shrank to nothing and disappeared, like a little womanshaped balloon deflating instantaneously to the size of a speck of lichen on the marble tomb, then even smaller, gone.

The beam hit nothing but the chipped brick wall and a slab of marble with some cryptic gang hieroglyphs streaking the side. He backed up, swinging the beam to and fro, up and down, looking for the crack she'd slid away through, the secret door that had opened to swallow her up, the rabbit hole, anything. Nothing. None of those things would explain what he'd seen, anyway. In the time he'd had to look at her, really lookand it was an almost subliminal impressionhe'd seen that she wasn't any dwarf. She had none of the characteristic squashed features, no stubby fingers or any of that. For her size, she was perfectly proportioned like a normal grown woman who had shrunk in the wash. This remained true as she vanished: All proportions stayed constant as if she were zooming backward down a tunnel with her eyes fixed on his, until she blinked out. The last thing he remembered was her faintly wounded look, and her color . . . that shifting silvery black like nothing he'd ever seen in a person though tantalizingly familiar. Brovnik hunted through the cemetery till the sun came up, but he didn't find anything except his twelve dented, scratched prints. He shoved them in a crypt to rot and hurried back to his car.

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