Fernando Sorrentino The Return Translated by Thomas C.

Meehan

In 1965, I was twenty-three years old and was studyin to be!ome a hi h s!hool lan ua e and literature tea!her. " in the air, and $ery, $ery early one mornin , I was studyin in my room. My house was the only a#artment buildin on the si&th 'loor.

I was 'eelin sort o' la(y, and e$ery now and then I)d let my a(e wander out the window. From there I !ould se the sidewal% a!ross the street, the mani!ured arden o' old +on Cesareo whose house o!!u#ied the !orner lot, the dia onally at the !orner, hen!e, his house had the sha#e o' an irre ular #enta on.

-e&t to +on Cesareo)s stood the beauti'ul home o' the .ernas!oni 'amily, lo$ely #eo#le who used to do ni!e, % dau hters, and I was in lo$e with the eldest, "driana. So, e$ery on!e in a while I !ast a lan!e toward the sidewal% habit o' the heart than be!ause I e&#e!ted to see her at su!h an early hour.

"s was his !ustom, old +on Cesareo was waterin and !arin 'or his belo$ed arden whi!h was se#arated 'rom 'en!e and three stone ste#s.

The street was deserted, so my attention was una$oidably drawn to a man who a##eared in the ne&t blo!% and w alon the same sidewal% that ran in 'ront o' the homes o' +on Cesareo and the .ernas!onis. /hy wouldn)t my atte sin!e he was a be ar or a tram#, a $eritable rainbow o' dar%-!olored ra s0

.earded and s%inny, his head was !o$ered by a yellowish, missha#en straw hat. +es#ite the heat, he was en$elo o$er!oat. In addition, he was !arryin a hu e, dirty sa!%, and I assumed he %e#t in it the alms and remains o' 'ood

I !ontinued to obser$e. The tram# sto##ed in 'ront o' +on Cesareo)s house and as%ed him 'or somethin throu +on Cesareo was a mean old man with an un#leasant #ersonality, without a!%nowled in anythin , he sim#ly ma to send the 'ellow on his way. .ut the be ar seemed to be insistin in a low $oi!e, and then I did hear the old man < 2 > 34o on, you, et out o' here, and don)t bother me53

-e$ertheless, the tram# a ain #ersisted, and now he e$en went u# the three stone ste#s and stru led a bit with mea er #atien!e !om#letely, +on Cesareo #ushed him away with a 'ier!e sho$e. The be ar sli##ed on the wet sto rab hold o' a bar, and 'ell $iolently to the round. In the same, li htnin -'lash instant, I saw his le s s#layed u#wa the shar# !ra!% o' his s%ull as it stru!% the 'irst ste#.

+on Cesareo ran down to the street, bent o$er him, and 'elt his !hest. Fri htened, the old man immediately rab dra ed him out to the !urb. 6e then went into his house and shut the door, in the !ertainty that there had been no !rime.

The only witness was me. Soon a man #assed by and he sto##ed ne&t to the dead be ar. Then !ame others and !ame too. The #anhandler was #ut in an ambulan!e and ta%en away.

That)s all there was to it, and the matter was ne$er s#o%en o' a ain.

For my #art, I was $ery !are'ul not to o#en my mouth. I #robably beha$ed badly, but what was I to ain 'rom a ne$er done me any harm0 7n the other hand, it hadn)t been his intention to %ill the #anhandler, and it didn)t seem r #ro!eedin should embitter the 'inal years o' his li'e 'or him. I thou ht the best thin would be to lea$e him alone

8ittle by little, I radually 'or ot the e#isode, but e$ery time I saw +on Cesareo, I e&#erien!ed a stran e sensati %now I was the only #erson in the world aware o' his terrible se!ret. From then on, I don)t %now why, I a$oided him him a ain. < 9 > :

In 1969 I was twenty-si& years old and had my de ree in the tea!hin o' the S#anish lan ua e and literature. "dria me but some other 'ellow, and who %nows whether he lo$ed or deser$ed her as mu!h as I did.

"round that time, "driana was #re nant and $ery !lose to deli$ery. She still li$ed in the same beauti'ul house a loo%ed more beauti'ul e$ery day. ;ery early that su''o!atin , +e!ember mornin I was i$in #ri$ate rammar les s!hool boys who had to ta%e an e&amination, and, as usual, e$ery now and then I would !ast a melan!holy lan!e a Suddenly, my heart - literally - did a 'li#-'lo#, and I thou ht I was the $i!tim o' a hallu!ination.

"##roa!hin alon e&a!tly the same #ath as 'our years be'ore was the be ar whom +on Cesareo had %illed1 th rayish o$er!oat, the missha#en straw hat, the 'ilthy sa!%.

For ettin my students, I rushed headlon to the window. The #anhandler was radually shortenin his ste#s, a destination. 36e)s !ome ba!% to li'e,3 I thou ht, 3and he)s !ome to ta%e re$en e on +on Cesareo.3

6owe$er, now treadin on the old man) s sidewal%, the be ar #assed in 'ront o' the iron 'en!e and !ontinued o "driana .ernas!oni)s door, #ushed down the lat!h, and entered the house.

3I)ll be ri ht ba!%53 I said to the students, and, mad with an&iety, I too% the ele$ator down, dashed out into the s went into "driana)s house.

6er mother, who was standin by the door, as i' ready to lea$e, said to me1 3/ell, hello there, stran er5 <ou ... 0 !ease053

She had always loo%ed 'a$orably on me. She embra!ed and %issed me, but I didn)t understand what was oin o had *ust be!ome a mother, and they were all $ery #leased and e&!ited. I !ould do no less than sha%e my $i!torious < = >

I didn)t %now how to as%, and debated whether it would be better to remain silent or not. I then rea!hed an inter indi''eren!e, I said1

3"!tually, I let mysel' in without rin in the doorbell be!ause I thou ht I saw a #anhandler with a bi , dirty ba was a'raid he mi ht be ettin in to steal somethin .3

They loo%ed at me in sur#rise1 #anhandler0 ba 0 to steal0 /ell, they had all been in the li$in room the whole t was tal%in about. 3Then I must surely be mista%en,3 I said.

They then in$ited me into the room where "driana and her baby were. In situations li%e that, I ne$er %now wha %issed her, loo%ed at the little baby, and as%ed what name they were oin to i$e him. They told me 4usta$o, li%e the name Fernando better, but said nothin .

.a!% at home, I thou ht1 3That was the #anhandler whom old +on Cesareo %illed, I)m sure o' it. 6e didn)t retur rather to be rein!arnated in "driana)s !hild.3 6owe$er, two or three days later, my hy#othesis seemed ridi!ulous to me, and I radually 'or ot it. : "nd I would ha$e 'or otten it !om#letely i' it weren)t 'or the 'a!t that in 19>9 an in!ident made me remember it.

Further on in years now and 'eelin !a#able o' less with ea!h #assin day, I let my attention tou!h li htly on a b window, and then I allowed my lan!e to wander here and there.

"driana)s son, 4usta$o, was #layin on the 'lat roo' terra!e o' his house. That was !ertainly a rather immature thou ht the boy must ha$e inherited his 'ather)s s!anty intelli en!e and that, had he been my son, he would doubtle way to amuse himsel'. < 5 > 6e had #la!ed a row o' em#ty !ans on the di$idin wall and was tryin to %no!% them o$er with stones thrown -aturally, almost all the rubble was 'allin into the nei hborin arden o' +on Cesareo. It o!!urred to me that the was oin to ha$e a real 'it when he dis!o$ered a lar e number o' his 'lowers destroyed.

"nd *ust at that moment, +on Cesareo !ame out o' the house into the arden. 6e truly was $ery old and wal%ed #uttin down with reat !aution now one 'oot and then the other. /ith 'ri ht'ul deliberateness he wal%ed to the a des!end the three ste#s that led down to the sidewal%.

"t the same time, 4usta$o - who didn)t see the old man - 'inally hit one o' the !ans whi!h, as it ri!o!heted o'' tw walls, 'ell with a loud ra!%et into +on Cesareo)s arden. The latter, who was in the midst o' the short stairway, star a sudden brus?ue motion, sli##ed wildly out o' !ontrol, and shattered his s%ull on the 'irst ste#.

I saw all o' this, but neither the !hild had seen the old man, nor the old man the !hild. For some reason, 4usta$o terra!e. In a 'ew se!onds, a lot o' #eo#le had already athered around +on Cesareo@s !or#se, and it was ob$ious an !ause o' his death.

The ne&t day, I ot u# $ery early and immediately installed mysel' in the window. +on Cesareo)s wa%e was bei

#enta onalsha#ed house, there were se$eral #ersons smo%in and !on$ersin out on the sidewal%.

Those #eo#le stood aside with re$ulsion and uneasiness when, a bit later, out o' "driana .ernas!oni)s house !am with his ra s, his o$er!oat, his straw hat, and his ba . 6e #assed throu h the rou# o' men and women, and slowly into the distan!e, in the same dire!tion 'rom whi!h he had !ome two times. < 6 >

"t noon I learned, to my sorrow but not to my sur#rise, that 4usta$o was not 'ound in his bed that mornin . Th des#erate sear!h whi!h, with stubborn ho#e, has !ontinued to the #resent day. I ne$er had the heart to tell them to